#like honestly some of Tuvok's reactions are just hilarious

[jone-slugger]

One thing that really surprised me about Star Trek is just how funny it is!

People had told me about great philosophical questions, horrible episodes that are so bad they are good, etc.

But nobody had told me of all the comedy there is!

[trillscienceofficer]

“Distant Shores” (Voyager short story collection, 2005) review: meh

I'd hoped this collection would be better, frankly; luckily the stories that involve B'Elanna (and there were quite a few of them, to my surprise) are mostly okay. Kes also appears prominently in at least two stories but Harry didn't really get one where he's the protagonist, and I'm surprised none involved Naomi or the Borg kids. Three stories seemed very concerned with the surviving Equinox crew and at least two seemed to want to vindicate them somehow?? I don't know, weird choices. But regardless, the problem wasn't so much in the ideas but in the execution, which was often atrocious.

story-by-story breakdown under the cut

“Da capo al fine” by Heather Jarman - this is the 'frame' story, you get to read the first half at the beginning and the second half at the end, but this story doesn't work so well for this purpose as the one on “The Lives of Dax” did for that collection. The plot is about Admiral Janeway and her last moments with the Borg Queen in “Endgame” but, idk. I think the author wanted to write a reckoning with all of Janeway's arch-nemeses but the story fails to have any stakes.

“Command Code” by Robert Greenberg - Tuvok and Chakotay get snippy on the bridge once Chakotay is left in command very soon after “Caretaker”. The concept is intriguing! Unfortunately the author's style is as dull as watching paint dry.

“Winds of Change” by Kim Sheard - this one was really fun! After being possessed by Tieran, Kes is struggling with her anger and reactivity so she goes to B'Elanna for help, and they try some of B'Elanna's sports holoprograms. This does not go well! Everything seems lost until B'Elanna offers a different approach to holoprograms, and it turns out they can work well together. This was just a really nice take on a dynamic that was really underexplored in the show (the author makes a point to say so as explicitly as she can), and it's honestly one of the best stories in the bunch.

“Talent Night” by Jeffrey Lang - my man Jeffrey (of “String Theory - Cohesion” fame) contributes to the collection with a hilarious story concept and great characterization for all involved, mostly B'Elanna, Tom and Harry, who are in charge of organizing said talent night. I can almost forgive the fact that it just an elaborate setup to get B'Elanna and Tom together by making B'Elanna needlessly jealous. Almost.

“Letting Go” by Keith R. A. DeCandido - this story is about the ones 'left behind' by Voyager, the families and loved one of the crew back in the AQ. I think I would've liked this way more if the author had chosen to follow anyone else other than Janeway's fiancé Mark. I liked how grounded the story is in the events of DS9 and First Contact and the range of reactions that all these people have to Voyager's disappearance, but I found myself wondering more about Greskrendtregk and T'Pel than Mark. I also found it hilarious that the story ends with Mark having married someone else and having to write to Janeway, who he's just learned is still alive, about it. I have to say though that it was a nice touch to have a lot of the people involved be the families of the crewmen who died in “Caretaker”—they obviously don't know what happened but the reader does, so their presence lends a lot of emotional gravity to the narrative.

“Closure” by James Swallow - Seven and Neelix get trapped in a cave that used to be inhabited by aliens and Neelix walks off to find a way out when—Kes shows up. Is it a vision, induced by the Ocampa artifacts in the cave? Is it actually Kes who's come back to say goodbye? It doesn't make much difference to Neelix, who is very glad to see her again. I think I would've appreciated this story more if it hadn't turned Neelix into too much of a lovesick fool; I don't like the idea that he actually never got over Kes with this kind of intense sentimentality. The story was enjoyable but something about it rubbed me the wrong way.

“The Secret Heart of Zolazus” by Robert T. Jeschonek - this one is terrible. Seven crash-lands on a planet and is saved by an outcast who pretty much gives her life for Seven and it's supposed to be ~inspirational~ or something but it's written in a way that... I don't know, reads exactly like one of those corny christian moral stories? I swear it's one of the most artless, embarrassing things I've read this year. The one thing it has going on is that Seven gets to kneel beside this dying alien girl who's taken a hit for her and so you can read some subtext in there, but the horrifying ableism is truly not worth the ticket!

“Isabo's Shirt” by Kirsten Beyer - the horrors aren't over though because this story is worse!! It's unabashedly J/C but oh boy both Chakotay and Janeway are so HORRIBLY out of character I couldn't cope. How did this even get published? Is this shipping brain at its worst?? Plus it's embarrassingly racist. I was never particularly interested in this ship but if THIS is in any way representative I am for sure steering well clear.

“Brief Candle” by Christopher L. Bennet - note: if you can't understand the distinction between romance and workplace sexual harassment you should probably not be writing romance! This is particularly galling because this is the 'Marika Wilkarah lives on Voyager for a few weeks' story which is something I wanted to see explored for a long time, and like... Marika HAS some interiority and convictions in this story but 1. we never see her really interact with other Bajorans if not in hindsight (why??) 2. her remaining resentment for Seven is barely mentioned and 3. she basically wants to be close to someone before dying and? essentially harasses Harry into having a relationship with her?? what???? If this were a fic it should get a 'dead dove do not eat' label. That was so, so awful and such a disappointment for the interesting concept this story promised to be. As I said in a previous post, the one thing this story has got going on is that Marika sides with B'Elanna during the events of “Barge of the Dead”, which I think it's a great take! But not enough to make me forget how bad the rest is.

“Eighteen Minutes” by Terry Osborne - the story of the time the Doctor spent on the planet from “Blink of an Eye” before he got beamed back to Voyager. I'm always extremely ambivalent about Doctor episodes/stories and this one is no exception. On one hand, the conflict he faces between his programmed-in hippocratic oath and the prime directive is believable, but on the other it ends up being another one of those weird power fantasies in which the Doctor gets the boundless gratitude and undying affection of the people around him because... he's done his job as a medical practitioner? It feels in character but I don't have to like it!

“Or The Tiger” by Geoffrey Thorne - LOVELY B'Elanna characterization in this one right until the ending, which I hated. Authors always tend to exaggerate B'Elanna's propensity for violence when in reality the show consistently shows her being very restrained and extremely remorseful whenever she snaps (and she only snaps because people tell her constantly that she's unable to control herself!) It's one of those stories where the point is 'aw the Equinox crew is trying very hard to make amends and the Voyager people are being mean to them' which... baffles me as a setup? It was interesting to see B'Elanna believably get into a rabbit hole when confronted with new technology that could help Voyager! But I'm not sure she wouldn't have snapped out of it as soon as it was pointed out to her that she might've been hurting living beings with her actions. We've seen B'Elanna struggle with this kind of moral quandaries before (“Prototype” and “Dreadnought” come to mind), so that the conflict dragged out for as long as it did here (and that she beat someone up for it!) feels deeply out of character to me.

“Bottomless” by Ilsa J. Bick - another one of 'the Equinox crew deserved a second chance!' stories, this time with crewman Marla Gilmore. I loved the technological conundrum (what do you do if your submersible is stuck on the bottom of the sea??) and Marla's lingering guilt and resentment felt believable and genuine. Shame that she expresses this mostly by being mean to B'Elanna (thought it happens mostly in her head), and you get the feeling she's just sharing the author's POV, since she has Tom saying some terrible garbage too... there's really nothing quite as diabolic as misogyny (and misogyny that's racially coded) coming from women authors! Ultimately Marla sacrifices herself to save Janeway and Chakotay and in so doing she expiates all of her Equinox sins, which would be okay (I guess) if it wasn't the exact same plot of “Brief Candle”, for some reason.