#like he stays steady so when i'm upset or mad he'll ask why and i break it down and by the time it's broken down i'm like... okay

[deancoded-deangirl]

hello can nick and i get married yet just asking for a friend

[pathetic-has-been-rockstar]

Memories and a movie

Pairing: Castiel x Dean

Written for: @spnchristmasbingo

Square filled: Miracle on 34th Street

Warnings: none

Summary:   Dean Winchester has never been one for holidays, but he's fond of his few good childhood memories. When Castiel unwillingly upsets him, he will have to find a way to make up for it.

Words: 2391

Beta: @raspberrymama

my work can be found on AO3, here! If you’re interested in the whole series, you just have to click here!

Dean is in the kitchen again, making popcorns and humming a cheesy Christmas song that he heard while grocery shopping, and just won't get out of his head. He's not too bothered about it, all in all.

You won't be joining them at the bunker at least for another day, due to the closed roads, but the rest of them can start to get in the Christmas spirit. They decided to watch a Christmas-themed movie, so to give Cas and Jack the full holidays-are-coming experience. While he throws some more butter in the popcorn, he looks for the salt, trying not to spill stuff around.

A moment later, Sam walks in the kitchen, holding his pc and looking at him.

“Hey. Need a hand with that?”

“Yeah, pass me that bowl. Do we have it?”

“Yep. Miracle on 34th Street, as usual. Are you sure you don't want to watch the new version, too? I think maybe Jack...”

Dean stops him before he can go on. “Sammy, we've been over this. You and I are going to show the kid our Christmas movie, and that's it. If he doesn't like it, he'll show us his favourite one, and we will never forgive him for that.”

Sam scoffs softly and clicks a key on his pc. “Alright, then, I'll throw in the subtitles and we're good to go. We'll wait for you in the...”

“Dean cave!”

Sam sighs, exasperated. “... yes, Dean, we'll wait for you in the Dean cave.”

“Don't say it like that. It's a temple of happiness and comfort. It's the Dean cave!”

Sam opens his mouth to say something, then decides against it. He sighs and walks away from the kitchen, smiling. Dean is insufferable, of course, but it's a different kind of a pain in the ass. A light-hearted, happy Dean who teases and mocks people around him because it's fun, and not to keep a distance to avoid painful separations. All in all, he's glad of being nagged like that.

He walks in the infamous Dean cave and he finds everyone already settling down. He connects the HDMI cable to his pc and goes to sit on the couch, next to Eileen. She makes a small hint at him, and Sam nods. He clears his throat and looks at Castiel, curled up on an armchair next to the couch.

“Uh, Cas... why don't you give us the armchair? We can definitely be more comfortable there. Here, take the couch.”

Shrugging, Castiel moves on the couch. A moment later, Dean walks through the door with a ridiculously huge bowl of popcorn, and goes to sit next to Castiel. Jack stands up, going to turn off the lights, and Sam hits play on the pc before going back to the armchair and letting Eileen sit on his legs.

“So... did you love it, or did you adore it?” Dean beams at Castiel and Jack as soon as he turns the light back on.

“I like it! It put me in a good mood”, Jack nods, smiling. Dean chuckles, satisfied, then turns at Castiel, who still hasn't spoken, and looks pretty confused.

"What troubles you, Cas?" Dean asks, curious to see if he will have to explain something.

“I don't really understand the point of this movie.”

“The-the point? Cas, it's the best Christmas movie ever made, until Trading Places, what do you think is the point?”

Castiel shakes his head, an incredulous expression on his face. “Dean, it's a terrible story about how the American system cages a man for believing to be a fictional character. The judge emits his sentence on a case that doesn't belong in a courtroom, based on what's written on currency. It all stems from the troubles of an alcoholic man. How can you love this movie?”

Dean looks at Castiel, horrified. Sam knows that face. It's the same expression he had when he was forced to destroy Baby to survive a ghost attack. Whatever it's going to happen, the happy atmosphere of movie night is about to go up in flames. Surprisingly, Dean just sets his jaw and nods.

“Alright, I get it. Not everyone can appreciate it.”

“I'm just saying that there's not a lot that...”

“Shut up!” Dean barks, a second before walking away without giving anyone the time to stop him. Confused, Castiel turns to Sam.

“What did I say?”

“Cas, uh... Dean loves this movie. Very, very much. We... we used to watch it with dad, so... I-I think he was hoping you'd like it, too.”

For a long moment, Castiel stays quiet, then nods. “I understand. I suppose I'll go apologize to him.”

“It's not... let him cool off a bit, maybe.”

“Don't worry, Sam. I know exactly what to do.” Castiel ignores Sam's suggestion before going after Dean, leaving Sam, Eileen and Jack in the room. Jack stands up and stretches, still in a good mood.

“Don't worry Sam. If there's anyone able to calm Dean down, that's Cas.”

Sam chuckles, taking Eileen's hand. “You know what? You're right. Let's clean this place and go to bed, we'll deal with the lovebirds tomorrow.”

They all laugh, and start tidying up the place.

Castiel walks in Dean's room, awkwardly standing just a few steps from the door. Dean is sitting at his desk, going through some stuff, and Castiel can take a look at him. He studies how his dark blond hair is slightly ruffled on the back of his neck, after being pressed against the back of the couch for the last couple of hours, how the shirt's fabric stretches on his broad shoulders. It's looking at the movement of his shoulders that Cas realizes that Dean is moving. He turns to him, and gives him an indecipherable look.

“Hey, Cas.”

“Dean... I wanted to...”

“Ah, look... it's fine, man. It's just a movie. No big deal.”

“Sam explained to me it was a sort of tradition. I should have known there was a story behind it. There's always a story with you.”

Dean's lips curl again in one of the half smiles that Cas has learned to map and interpret down to a fine art... in a few seconds. There's always a moment or two of pure amazement at seeing how his whole traits seem to turn him from a weathered hunter into a smiling man, showing the Dean he's always cherished so deeply.

“You know... you're right. Guess I was mad because it's one of the good stories, this one.”

“... would you like to share it with me?”

For a fleeting moment, Castiel sees the surprise in Dean's eyes, as clear as fleeting. It almost hurts to think that he could be surprised to be asked to share something obviously so dear to him, but Castiel stays quiet and watches Dean nodding in agreement.

“It's just... you know we didn't have exactly an easy childhood. I had to take care of Sammy from day one, cause dad... you know. You heard more than enough. But Christmas... soometimes it was not about... this.” Dean says, gesturing at the room around him. “Sure, it was always in a different motel, always after some monster. But... the police rarely work on Christmas' night. Families stick together, making it harder for the monsters to hunt. Motels would offer something to their guests, especially to us. They saw a single dad working his ass off with two children... it tends to make people feel sympathy, especially at Christmas.”

Castiel nods, entranced by Dean's voice. He keeps smiling, and it's clear that, despite everything that man put him and Sam through, he still misses his father. His dad.

“And no matter where we were... that movie is a classic. If it wasn't on a channel, it was on another. When he managed to stay with us, Dad would make some popcorn, usually with so much butter that you could see through the bag once you were done, and we would all hunker down and watch that movie together.”

“... it sounds like a wonderful memory, indeed.”

“Yeah, it... it is. One year... one year Sammy was so upset that we had to decide: telling him that Santa wasn't real, or inventing an excuse to justify the fact that, once again, we didn't get a new house.”

“How did you deal with that?”

“We told him that Santa couldn't get a new house for us because we had to move constantly, to stay safe. We had to stick with that for a couple of years, before he grew out of that. I... I did my best to let him be a kid, Cas. Standing up to dad wasn't easy, and I... I just did my best.”

Castiel must fight the anger he feels understanding why Dean sees himself the way he does, and walks as close as possible to Dean. He places a hand on Dean's shoulder, trying to find the right words to say.

“Dean... you did a wonderful job with Sam. You shouldn't have been forced to look out for him. Your father was supposed to do it... and I'm sure that Sam is grateful for it. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate the movie.”

“Ah, Cas, it's fine. I overreacted.”

“No. It's not fine. Allow me to apologize.”

“... there's no need to...”

“Dean, I understood that around Christmas is customary to make kind gestures to each other. Please, let me.”

Dean chuckles, raising his hands.

“Alright. Let's see what you got for me.”

“Fine. Get dressed.”

“... what?”

“Get dressed.”

Dean smiles, curious to see what Cas has in mind and stands up to grab his coat. He puts it on, takes a scarf and a hat, puts on his gloves, and finally turns to face him.

“Is this enough?”

“It is. Are you ready to take a flight?”

“Not a fan of it, but... whatever makes you happy.”

Castiel gives him a small hint before placing a hand on his shoulder, and Dean experiences the familiar and dreaded feeling of his stomach being mashed from the inside during teleportation. A second later, when he opens his eyes, he manages to steady himself against a brick wall and take a deep breath before bending down and trying to catch his breath.

The air is cold, heavy, and Dean knows the smell lingering in the air, even if he can't pinpoint where or when. It feels familiar, but somehow distant, and it brings mixed feelings with it. When he finally feels his stomach settling down, he straightens his back and looks at the angel who just brought him there.

“Cas... where are we?”

“Why don't we go find out?” Cas answers, with a small smile that lets out his anticipation. Dean, affected by Cas' visible excitement, starts walking towards the exit of the alley where they appeared.

Before they walk out of it, Dean has a clear idea of where they are. There's only one city in the world that has that particular kind of bright night, those sounds mixed in a cacophony so terrible to result irresistible, topped with the smell of a thousand different foods, people and exhaust pipes. When they walk out from the alley, his hypotheses are confirmed, and Dean laughs, incredulous, turning to Cas.

“You brought me to New York?”

“So it seems.”

“What the...”

“There.”

Cas points at something behind Dean, who feels his heart stopping for a second, then starting to beat furiously in an attempt to catch up. Sure enough, turning around Dean sees the building of Macy's, dressed in blinding lights and Christmas decorations.

For a moment, Castiel is deeply worried. He never saw Dean reacting like that. His mouth fell open, while his whole face transformed into a blank expression of utter disbelief. He just keeps staring at Macy's, his eyes running up and down the building the only movement that Cas can see, as if trying to find a way to get in, or something like that. After a few very long moments, he decides to risk a question.

“Dean... are you alright?”

Dean turns to Cas so quickly that he almost takes a step back. He raises his arm, pointing at the building.

“You... you brought me to New York. On Christmas' week. To friggin' Macy's? Because you didn't like my favourite Christmas movie... you thought it was a good idea to bring me into it?”

At six and seven for Dean's reaction, Castiel nods. He thought he'd appreciate the intention behind the gesture. Perhaps he's been too intrusive. Perhaps he interpreted the sharing of his story in the wrong way, or perhaps Dean didn't mean that...

“Cas... that's the... that is the most stupid, senseless, sweet thing that anyone is ever done for me!” Dean practically shouts in Castiel's face.

“Why are you yelling now?”

“Because you are not supposed to... Cas, how... why did you do this?”

When he finally realizes why Dean is so upset, Castiel smiles. A big, wide smile that makes his eyes crinkle and the most human side of him flash clearly like one of the Christmas lights around them. Dean Winchester, the legendary hunter, the man who came back from Hell, the one who died and came back to tell the tale more than once... is embarrassed. The most brazen, skilled conqueror of waitress of the United States has no idea about how to react to a genuine gesture of care and affection.

The smile of Castiel erupts into a light-hearted laughter, and Dean is bedazzled in finding out that, in fact, he loves that. He thought he'd hate Castiel laughing at him in a moment like that, but... he was wrong. He adores his laughter. It tells him that Cas just read all the right things in his reaction, understood where they came from, and why they are there.

Dean blushes, sticks his hands in his pockets and mutters, in a falsely angry tone “Shut up” at Castiel. He doesn't stop Castiel when he nudges him with a shoulder and stays close to him.

“What do you say about we go and take a closer look at that place?”

Trying to keep his coolness, and failing miserably, Dean nods. “Well, since we're here...”

Cas shakes lightly his head, impatient and slightly exasperated. “Yeah, we're here. Thanks for seconding me. Come on, let's go.”

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