#like for every message ive had about this being a clearcut case of aphobia I've had 10 or so disagreeing

[thedreadvampy]

As an ace arospec person, I don't think your first post about Martin was aphobic. But the way you just keep digging yourself into a hole is the real issue. When you first saw people had issues with your comments, you could have just made a post that said "I'm sorry that my wording implied that being aspec is infantilizing. It wasn't my intention, aspec people are valid" or something like that. But you just kept going and now you're speaking on things you have no real authority on (qprs etc.) 1/2

and you're constantly playing the victim card which is really infuriating when aspec people are just trying to educate you and figure out if you can be trusted. And maybe that comes off as rude but you don't know how many times I've looked up to someone or enjoyed their content and then found out they're aphobic. "I lost my dad i lost my snake i don't know where I'm at housing wise AND i somehow managed to start more fights while i wasn't looking." Just apologize and stop dragging this on. 2/2

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Hm. No?

Every time something blows up, I get two rounds of people in my inbox, half of whom are angry that I'm not answering their questions and half of whom are angry that I am. I am not "playing the victim card," because I'm not having a bad time because people are criticising me and I wouldn't be having Not A Bad Time if they weren't, if you scroll back in my blog prior to the last week you may notice this is Not New. This is however my fucking blog, which I maintain specifically because I need somewhere to put things that are overwhelming me or sick in my head, so ex-fucking-scuse me if I say "haha I'm having a Bad Time" when haha I'm having a Bad Time. I haven't said and nor do I mean "I'm having a bad time so nobody's allowed to criticise me" or "I'm having a bad time And It's Your Fault," the only reason I have ever connected the two things is to say "I'm having a Bad Time which is why I'm being a bit slow off the mark answering messages about this, but I'm not ignoring them"

No, I'm not gonna fucking apologise for eventually caving and answering a question I have repeatedly said "no I don't think it's my place to speak on that so I'm not going to" after people have repeatedly demanded I Answer To The Anonymous Jury. Jesus fucking Christ like I'm not up here at my podium giving a speech on My Opinion On QPRs unasked I literally. have been repeatedly told I'm being shitty and evasive for days for Not Unequivocally Stating My Position On Ace Issues so nah son I'm not going to now feel like it's a great imposition by me to answer that question.

And no, I've said this before and I'll say it again, an apology is literally meaningful only as a commitment to action and I'm not comfortable or willing to make a show of apologetics in order to appease people or avoid criticism. I will not say "I'm sorry that my wording implied that being ace is infantilising" because, given that, once again, I at no point even mentioned infantilising and only mentioned aro/ace identity to say that it wasn't what I was talking about, I don't think my wording did imply that. I'm open to being proved wrong but literally so far nobody's even explained how they read it that way, so no, I'm not fucking sorry that I ~implied that being ace is infantilising~ because as far as I'm concerned I Did Not Do That. and I won't be sorry for it until someone can point me to where the fuck I did that and I can identify what I did wrong and what change is needed. Am I sorry that people have been hurt? Definitely. Am I sorry if people don't feel safe interacting with me? Very much so. But I'm not going to ~say sorry and move on~ because that would be hollow, performative and dishonest.