#like for eleanor it's not hill house itself that empowers her but the people she meets there
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the eleanor vance to will graham stan pipeline
#is this niche? idk#it's not so much the characters themselves but the narrative#like it's about losing your sanity to the monstrous entity that wants to consume you#while also feeling empowered in their presence bc the real horror isn't what they represent#the real horror is loneliness#it's having to carry on repressing the core parts of you that society regards as unsavoury#never feeling seen. never feeling understood#trying so hard to play by the rules (be dull passive unremarkable heterosexual) but it's an ill-fitting suit#and then ultimately not just resigning yourself to your tragic fate but embracing it#and driving your car into that tree/throwing yourself off that cliff#bc you'd rather die in the monster's embrace than give up the taste of freedom it's let you glimpse#idk if this even makes sense lol it does in my head#like for eleanor it's not hill house itself that empowers her but the people she meets there#and the escape it offers her from her overbearing family + society at large#it's falling in love with theo and finally glimpsing this alternative path for herself where she gets to be happy and live for herself#only to have that dream snatched away when theo pulls away/when everyone fears for her safety and sends her home#and in will's case there's no middleman it's hannibal who's his tormentor but also the one to offer him an alternative path#'ive never known myself as well as i know myself when im with him' etc#eleanor gets to know herself through hill house and will gets to know himself through hannibal#and in the end a return to normality becomes unthinkable to them. their lives were so small before#and they're both deeply disturbed and their suicides are tragic but it's also like framed as them taking their fate into their own hands#so reading/watching it feels cathartic#to me anyway lol. maybe i just relate to them both too much#so much word vomit im sorry but in my defense it's 1am
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