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#like even around my friends. i've started feeling kinda insecure around even my closest friends
le-velo-pour-dru · 4 months
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I should not be allowed in social situations
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patchun · 24 days
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Lots of dark thoughts lately like... what highs could possibly make the miserable toil of life worth living lol.
Also I'm starting to maybe think I am simply not meant for a romantic partner
And last time I hung out with my hot girl friends I was just uncomfortable and insecure and it's like why. Things were different when I was wearing makeup and presenting femininely but the question is why? Was I more attractive or simply easier to be comfortable around because I was non-threatening, and if I was non-threatening, in what way was I non-threatening? Non-threatening as a girl or non-threatening as a strange novelty? Should I go back to that even though I'm not really in that headspace any more? Obviously not.
But yeah. Idk I even told them "I'm sorry im feeling insecure as a man" and how exactly do you come back from that socially lol. I'd be shocked if they ever invite me to do anything again. Then I possibly got a pity-kiss later in the night from one of them I've never kissed, and I say that because then I tried inviting her over yesterday and she said no with a kind of BS reason. So I think my romantic advance has been rejected and I feel very pathetic and ugly lol. The other guy that was hanging w us that evening did in fact make me feel insecure as a man. He was charming and charismatic and kept making all these jokes and making them laugh and I was just kinda silently there. But I can see him and be like.. oh I totally understand what a girl might find appealing in this dude. I've got no such thing://////////
Idk I'm just hating on myself now but yeah it's making the idea of keeping getting up and going to work in the morning a little difficult. For what reason do I struggle if even when I go hang out with the people closest to me I fail to connect with or make an impression on them. I might just be better off not existing fr.
Anyways. Now that that's out I'm gonna attempt manifesting. I am happy I am confident I do not need a romantic partner and I am not alone I am happy I am confide..
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shadymissionary · 11 months
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Hi, I feel like rambling here for a bit. I have a kinda life-changing conversation coming up tonight that I'm both extremely excited and extremely anxious about.
My partner and I have more or less been in a polyamorous relationship with our two close friends for...idk, 3 years? We've been getting very close with them over the years, and now that we all live in the same city and see each other frequently, it's almost always on my mind. And polyamory can be scary and confusing!! There is almost no framework for it that we learn about growing up, like with monogamous relationships, and so it feels a lot harder to navigate all of the questions and uncertainties.
Circumstances could not have lined up more perfectly to have this conversation though, so I'm feeling good about things. And it's just going to be an enormous relief to be open and honest with my friends about things that I've been holding in for years.
These two are so important to me, I love them so much they're like family, and I've felt so insecure about speaking up about certain things due to the fear of their reactions and potentially damaging our relationship. But I know they love me too and will be completely understanding.
I'm so happy to have an amazing partner that has listened to me vent about this stuff for years now, and his support feels like the one thing that has kept me sane. And I'm glad that I finally have the confidence and motivation to move through all of this uncertainty into a healthier relationship for all of us.
I've been doing a lot of work on myself lately, starting HRT, journaling, going back to therapy, reading mental health books, and listening to mental health podcasts. Last week I was listening to a lecture on Individuation, from Jungian psychology, and the concept of synchronicity was introduced to me. Basically, finding a connection between your own thoughts/desires and the things happening around you in the world. And to recognize when the universe is slapping you in the face telling you to do something.
I had an amazing therapy session yesterday and discussed the feelings I'm having, and how I finally feel ready to address them so I can move on from all this stress. But not knowing how best to find a time to talk about these things and get the conversation started has been the obstacle. I left the session knowing I had to reach out to the two I need to talk to and see if there's a time we could meet and chat. I even had a time limit on myself of getting this done before they host a Halloween party next weekend.
Lo and behold, just a few hours after yesterday's therapy session, I get a text from them asking us to come hang out tonight. Normally I would think up some reason not to, just wanting to chill at home on a Tuesday night, but it was so clear that the opportunity to talk was literally being handed to me. It makes me feel like the world is telling me to do this, and that it's gonna be okay.
I am going to cry so, so hard. But it's going to feel good to get it all off my chest. It's kinda scary, I've never cried in front of either of them that I can recall. So I know it's going to be a surprise that I've been holding all of these feelings in for years. More than anything, I just want the four of us to all be on the same page.
What's also kind of funny to me is like... in most respects, this should be a very easy step for me, but I've had to do so much to build my confidence in order to have this conversation. Earlier this month I came out as non-binary to my parents, and then soon after to my whole extended family. Like, that stuff should have been the hard part! And it was, don't get me wrong, but it didn't take nearly as much effort and crying as it has to prepare myself for tonight's conversation. The impossible task in my mind has been "open up about your feelings to your closest friends." And I'm certain now that I can do it, and that it will work out. ♥
This final dungeon music has been playing in my head all day as this conversation looms in the near future. Fitting that I just got to this point in Baten Kaitos last night hehe. I am gonna survive from that mf force!!
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namboobieslover · 1 year
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Kintsugi: the beauty of broken things || MYG
Chapter 3
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Summary: Yoongi and Minnie have been friends for quite some time now, almost... 15 years? 15 years since they ran into each other in that music classroom by an unlucky (or not) mistake. They've grown close, but both of them have strong characters and insecurities that will have to be put aside when Minnie falls into her own lie, risking her job in the process. They have 3 days to feel comfortable and make everyone believe their role as the young engaged couple or she is fucked :[
Pairing: musical producer! Yoongi x lab tech/science nerdy! f reader au; non-idol! BTS members make a brief appearance
Genre: fluff, angst, kinda slow burn (?), best friends to fake couple au, constant unresolved sexual tension, two idiots too proud to openly speak but pinning each other
Warnings: use of bad language, mentions of insecurities/low self-esteem, anxiety, trauma; light use of weed, little smut if you scrutinize, SFW
Masterlist: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // ...
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CHAPTER 3: We on, baby.
Word count: 2816
I wake up with a pounding headache as soon as I open my eyes in the morning.
-When will I learn to stop drinking? - I fumble to myself while holding my head between my hands.
Takes me more than it should but I finally get up, my reflection in the bathroom mirror remembering the bad choices of last night.
After a long shower, I feel again like a human being. After brushing my teeth the unsettling feeling in my stomach is gone.
I don't have much time to get ready, so I pick whatever clothing looks comfier and I start my way to the bus stop.
The trip gives me a few minutes to check my smartphone, answering some unread messages from family and friends but especially Yoongi.
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The day goes slow, really slow. My eyes hurt when looking at the little samples through the microscope but the silence in the lab is exquisite. 1-1 in cons vs pros.
Even though my mind is a little foggy, it's a good evening. I'm able to keep a stable medium for the cells to grow and it seems like the replication of the environment is going as it should. Also, the culture I did to explore the possibilities of a virus as a treatment is growing nicely. My research is on the right path.
I finish around 9:30 pm thanks to all my good achievements and I'm really hungry.
The place I’ve chosen to order tonight's dinner it's the one with vegetarian burgers near my job; a lot of time has passed since the last time I ate here. I pick my favourite (the delicious plant-based), for Yoongi the one with veal and lastly, a portion of potatoes to share.
-Hi Minnie, how are you today? -the grandma who owns this place asks me- I haven't seen you for a long time; where have you been?
-I've been busy with work lately; my routine has been hectic.
-It's noticeable; you have lost weight and it is unusual to see you with eye bags. Aren’t you resting enough?
-More or less; it's a temporary situation. Hopefully next week things will come to their normal rhythm. But I really missed your food Mrs Lee -I speak honestly while pouting- You are the closest thing to my mother's food in this city.
-And you are my favourite client so please, come visit more even if it's just to have a coffee. I find all your science things interesting, as does my Sandra.
-How is she?
-She is studying every chance she has; your notes have helped her greatly. She also told me that you are available to answer her doubts.
-Yeah of course. It's an honour to be able to help another woman to infiltrate this amazing world that science is. Sadly there are fewer of us than it should be.
-I appreciate that so much… -she gets a little emotional at my words.
-What about you? How is it going with the knee replacement?
-Rest of my body it's still old but that knee seems like it has its own life. My younger grandson, Taeyang, says that I have become a transformer.
After a little more catch-up talk while food is in the making, I start my way to Yoongi’s apartment; 10 minutes away from here.
The walk is nice and feels super fast while listening to my favourite songs. Lately, that has been Namjoon 's latest álbum, Indigo. I swear, that man is a poet hiding behind his hip-hop style and a smoking hot body that seems little when he has a clumsy day. The lyricism of his songs makes my heart flutter and I'll never get tired of telling him.
One good thing about Yoongi's work is the fact that I'm able to meet new artists he is friends with, and learn about other cultures, influences and styles. He always introduces me to them and usually, it is really easy to be part of their little musician group even if I'm not that well instructed in that area. The group we all have is "pussycians" since half of those boys are afraid to let people get to know them (strangely that doesn't apply to one-night stands and I lectured them about it) and I'm a girl + a bunch of musicians boys. As you can tell, the last idea wasn’t mine but from Kim Seokjin, the older of us.
With "Still life" at its maximum level, I finally reach my best friend's door. I struggle a little but when I'm about to open it, it does by itself showing a dishevelled Yoongi. He scares me and I can't hear a word of what he is saying with the earphones on.
-Holy crap Yoongi, you scared me to death -I struggle to say still agitated while taking them off - one day you'll be the reason I end up with a heart attack.
-You were noisy; it's not my fault. You didn't listen because of the music. You'll be deaf before turning thirty if you don't stop using the highest level.
-Don’t you feel like, sometimes, with some songs, listening to them doesn't feel enough to you? Like… I wish every single note were able to enter my brain and scratch it internally till I can't think any more.
-Umm… I guess -he agrees with me a little confused, but entertained.
I enter his house with him closing the front door after me. I go directly to the small table that sits near the sofa; the usual place we eat instead of the main table.
-Which song was that good? -my friend asks while tearing the sleep away from his eyes.
-Namjoon's "Still Life". His latest álbum is incredible; you have hard competition, boy.
-Indigo is cool, but maybe I'm a little more into J-hope's "Jack in the Box". Kinda old school hip-hop, dark, rock vibes… but that's on my taste.
-Same but reverse for me, so I get you. I really like Hobi's main songs and even the intro with all the Pandora thingy or Equal Sign, but it doesn't exactly match my taste as a general artwork.
I unpack the food while talking about it and its smell makes my stomach roar.
-Is this from Mrs Lee's place? -Yoongi asks, finally awakened.
-Yeah. Told me to send you greetings in her name.
-Oh, she is so nice… Is her knee okay?
-Perfect. Little Tae told her that she is now half transformer.
-That kid is my favourite Mrs Lee grandchildren.
-Mine has to be Sandra.
-Of course you love her; she is a little you. Maybe not like you exactly; Sandra is less annoying.
He says that with a serious face, but after feeling my death glare, he can't help but smile arrogantly looking at his burger.
-I'm so glad I spilt on your food; I knew that sooner or later it would be handy and deserved.
-Don't worry honey boo-boo, nothing you do can disgust me -he answers mockingly knowing that I didn't commit such an act.
The rest of the dinner is chill. Some dating show on the TV and a light conversation about our jobs.
Once we finish the delicious food he offers me some dessert but I refuse. A little liquor some friend gifted him? Not that much. But it's understandable; it is a sweet creamy one that tastes heavenly.
-So…going straight to the point: let's talk about the plan.
-Well damn -I say almost choking on the drink- what do you wanna start with?
-Maybe…nicknames? That seems to be easiest between today's tasks -he says looking in a notepad.
-Is that a list?
-Of course. When we talked about it I took notes before forgetting due to alcohol.
-Let me see it.
"Free Minnie"
-I will ignore that name but you are an idiot Yoongles.
-○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○
"Free Minnie"
☆ 2-part plan
Day 1:
✅️ Partying together and pretending to be a couple.
✅️ Wearing clothes the other likes.
✅️ Getting used to holding hands and side hugging.
✅️ Getting comfortable being close to each other.
Day 2:
☑️  Accord lovey-dovey nicknames
☑️  Comfortably hug each other/being near/share the same vital space.
☑️  Practice:
Introducing each other
"Love story"
Pecks (????)  🤮🤮
-^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^
-Yeah, the nickname issue seems like the best fit for an appetiser. Do you have something in mind? -I answer kinda surpassed by all the tasks for today.
-For me or you?
-Whatever.
-What about calling you “my little pumpkin”?
-Are you kidding?
-No… Isn’t that what partners call each other? Some girls I dated read romance books where they talk like that.
-Well, I don't know. I never had that kind of relationship.
-Me neither.
We erupt in laughter. None of us has ever had a relationship that serious, meaning this stuff is new to us.
-Let’s start with me -I offer as an ice-breaker- I don’t know about what other people like, or you, but I’m not into clinging words. Pumpkin… is too much. I guess the better option is something on the classical side: honey, sweetheart or even Minnie since nobody calls me like that in my working environment. ‘’Babe’’ is acceptable if we feel comfortable enough with it.
-I’m not an affectionate person in speaking terms so…that’s perfect for me, honey.
I feel a slight shiver running down my body.
-Ugh, that felt weird without the sarcastic tone.
-To me too -he laughs- but we have to get used to it in less than 24 hours. Do you want another glass?
Then I realise that my drink is long finished. This liquor is truly dangerous.
-Yeah, this is delicious.
-It was a gift from one of Jimin’s travels. From the northwestern part of Spain if I’m not wrong.
-I envy him so much… he is always travelling.
-That day will come for us too, I’m sure -he declares while handing me the now filled (to the top) vase. He served himself some whiskey.
-You better be right Min Yoongi -I menace while gulping some of the hot liquid- Now… What about you? What are your chosen nicknames?
-It would be incredible if you called me “sexy monster” or something similar. That has one hundred per cent of probabilities to erase any type of doubt.
-If I ever get so drunk that the only option to get me sober is making me puke, repeat that phrase word by word, it will work.
He smacks my arm jokingly.
-Now, on a serious note… I like when you call me Yoongs, Yoongles or Yoon. And that also feels personal, don’t you think?
-Can do the work.
-I feel comfortable with babe or honey/handsome. But not baby; that’s a little cringe.
-I agree. I hate that.
-What’s the worst nickname someone has called you?
-Like… ever?
-Yeah.
-You are not ready for that, and I’m not drunk enough to say it out loud. Ask me later -I answer flustered with a playful wink.
-Don’t worry I won’t forget. Also… you tend to match inversely your lack of shyness with the alcohol level in your blood. This is going to be a fun night.
-Bla, bla, bla. Let’s keep going.
I take a bathroom rest that also allows me to change my contact lenses to the glasses. I don’t feel comfortable wearing them in public, so every day I deal with changing between both at my desk at the office of the lab, all to fulfil my work protocols and also my social anxiety. A routine I got during the pandemic time with the struggle of getting fog in the glasses due to the mask when sudden changes of temperature happen (such as entering a place, the bus…).
-I’m back, babe -I announce funnily stumbling a little with the rug’s verge. Seems like alcohol is silently doing its work- Let’s talk about how you fell in love with me.
He chokes on his drink.
-Yoongles, I was talking about the false love story.
-I know, I know. My brain is working a little slower than usual and it has a lot of things to process.
-I was thinking that keeping it real is the best. The easier, the better. You know how they say that the best lies contain some truth behind them. We can just keep the original first meeting and the school years like they were, but makeup something about college years.
-Like what?
-Aren’t you going to add something?
-Liberal arts -he excuses himself and shrugs- You are the brains, I’m the unpolluted taste. That’s how we always work, sweetheart.
I roll my eyes.
-We can explain that in the urge to reduce expenses, we decided to become flatmates. Living 24/7 made us realise that we are perfect for each other and it was difficult, but we took the step a year after. How many years are socially accepted to date before getting engaged?
-Two? -he answers, as lost as me.
-Maybe… four?
-Isn’t that a lot if we had met in high school?
-That’s true.
-What about three?
-Three is it. Who decided to take the first step in the process from friends to lovers?
-Maybe you? You have 0 patience and probably your colleagues know it… Honey.
-Yeah, sounds like me -I have to admit.
-About establishing a relationship… that fits me better. You are impatient but insecure; you would have a hard time getting the confidence. Same for the engagement?
-First of all: I’m not that insecure -I start getting kind of riled up- Second-
-Before you continue, let me ask you something. For how long have you owned those glasses?
-Mmm… around two years I think.
-Then, how is this one the first time I see you with them?
I don’t have to answer that because he knows.
-If not that, then answer the following: what do you think about yourself? Do you consider yourself pretty?
Is this what a deer caught in the headlights feels like? How can be asking this so suddenly while keeping the calm front that characterizes him? He is so annoying.
-That’s what I thought -it angers me a little to see how sure he is about that premise- Do you want a refill?
I was so nervous that once again I had finished my drink.
-I think I’m ready to try something stronger -I challenge him.
-We on, baby.
A/N: Sorry I've been missing but uni has me on constant house arrest omg. These ones are shorter but we are getting there. Hope you like it and hope you have a good night/evening... Feel free to give some feedback :)
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fakeikemen · 4 years
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Katara's Grief
(This is my first attempt at a meta post and I know that this has probably been already done but I just needed to get it off my chest and go on a little rant and it kinda got long so bear with me.)
A lot of the hate on Katara stems from the fact that she keeps on mentioning her mother's death at every chance she gets and invalidates other people's pain to assert that her suffering is the worst of the lot.
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And even though everybody is entitled to their own opinions, I'm gonna point out why I think the aforesaid claims are not exactly correct.
First we'll take a look at; Katara's Backstory:
We know that Kya is killed in a fire nation raid and that Katara had been the last person to see her alive before she leaves the tent on her mother's insistence. Only to come back a few moments later and find her dead body. This, in itself is a traumatising event.
So yes, her mother died. Other people in the story go through far worse. You're not wrong when you say that.
But what is more important in Katara's story is the aftermath of her mother's death.
As Sokka says while talking to Toph in "The Runaway" in B3 Ep7:
Sokka: When our mom died, that was the hardest time in my life. Our family was a mess, but Katara? She had so much strength. She stepped up and took on so much responsibility. She helped fill the void that was left by our mom.
As an eight year old, she had to force herself to grow up to step into her mother's shoes and raise herself and her elder brother and simultaneously look after the entire village after her father left to fight in the war. She had to do all of it by herself.
In face of all her responsibilities, she never really had the chance to simply be a grieving child lamenting the loss of her mother. She habituated herself to caring more about others than herself (We see this trait in the entire series as she acts as the stand-in mom friend for the entire Gaang with an exception of Suki and Zuko). She ended up bottling her feelings of grief, resentment, guilt and rage deep within herself.
She had to give up an extensive part of her childhood where most children focus on figuring themselves out, to become a mature and responsible person who was working as the immovable pillar holding up the family and even the whole village not much later.
She put up a strong front to help others and pretended to be fine even though she was hurting inside the whole time.
She could never find any closure from the situation. She never got over it.
Moving on to the criticisms:
1. Katara keeps on mentioning her mother like a broken record:
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Here are the number of times Katara mentions her mother's death (not sure if that's all of it, lmk if there are any others):
1. In her first scene with Sokka
Katara: Ever since mom died, I've been doing all the work around camp while you've been off playing soldier!
2. A short while after she meets Aang
Katara: Well, I just want you to be prepared for what you might see. The Fire Nation is ruthless. They killed my mother, and they could have done the same to your people.
3. A short while after she meets Haru
Katara: I lost my mother in a Fire Nation raid. This necklace is all I have left of her.
4. A short while after she meets Jet
Katara: Sokka and I lost our mother to the Fire Nation.
5. In the swamp after she sees a vision of her mother
Katara: I thought I saw Mom.
6. In the Crystal Catacombs with Zuko
Katara: I don't? How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through! Me personally! The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.
7. A short while after she meets Hama
Katara: We completely understand. We lost our mother in a raid.
8. Repeated mentions in The Southern Raiders episode
(Most of the episode basically)
The first mention with Sokka is in the middle of a siblings' spat where she tells off Sokka for trying to act as if he were superior when it was obvious that in the face of the gaping hole that was left by Kya's sudden death, Katara had shouldered much more responsibility.
When she tells it to Aang, she uses it as a proof that the Fire Nation is capable of immense cruelty and destruction.
The Gaang travel all around the world and meet different people affected by the war in different ways. So when Haru, Jet and Hama narrate their own stories, Katara sympathises with them and talks about Kya's death in lieu of "I understand, the Fire Nation hurt me too."
After they got separated, Aang, Sokka and Katara each had their visions and after they get back together, they all mention their visions and so does Katara.
When left alone in catacombs with Zuko, whom she considered as the face of the Fire Nation— the same Fire Nation that had her mother killed and forced her father to leave to fight in the war, she has a meltdown where she rightfully accuses him of all the bad things he's done and then breaks down while talking about how the war has cost her i.e., by causing her mother's death.
The Southern Raiders is the episode where Katara hunts down the man responsible for her mother's death. If you think mentioning Kya repeatedly in this episode is uncalled for, then I don't know what to tell you.
In all the incidents mentioned above, Katara mentioning her mother's death is a very natural occurrence is the respective conversations. She mostly talks about Kya's death to either extend her sympathy or to use it as an example of the ruthlessness of the Fire Nation.
Another fact to be noted is that 70% of the Gaang's storyline is followed via Katara from a narrative point of view. Plus, being the mom-friend, she acts as the spokesperson. Considering that Kya's death is a major event that played a huge role in shaping Katara's life and is also the source of her severe, unresolved trauma, which acts as the driving force of her story, it is only natural that she brings up this topic whenever she is engaging in a deeper conversation.
It is us as the viewers who have seen her from the start and already know about her mother's death and we see her talking to multiple people about it. Which is why it might come across as repetitive to some people.
While, Kya's death is not necessary information that everyone needs to know, Katara talking about it never comes across as a forced or unnatural.
2. Katara invalidates others' pain because she thinks she has suffered the most:
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First of all, if anything, Katara is the most empathetic person of them all. As the mom-friend of the group, not only is she their constant moral support, she also helps them untangle and sort out their own feelings. She is also able to tap into issues that aren't said out loud.
Instances of Katara helping and supporting Aang, emotionally are uncountable.
She is the first one to notice Sokka's sour mood in B3 Ep4 "Sokka's Master". And even though his insecurities seem baseless, she validates him (by saying "I'm sorry you're feeling so down" instead of something like "That's a dumb thing to say") and knows exactly what to do to cheer him up.
In B3 Ep7 "The Runaway" she has the insight to understand that Toph's unruly behaviour is caused by the mixed feelings she has about her parents even though Toph's herself never talked about it.
She even reaches out to Zuko in B2 Ep19 "Crossroads of Destiny" even though she used to think of him as the face of the enemy.
But then there's The Southern Raiders.
Ah yes, that episode where Katara is extremely OOC and a total b*tch.
Agreed that she said some things that she definitely shouldn't have said. But like, she's just 14?? And has been hurting on the inside since she was 8?? And pretended to be fine just for the sake of other people?? Like, there's a limit to how much she can have her shit under control?? And she did a real good job of Sokka's upbringing and taking care of the village and taking care of Gaang on her own?? Some people out there are really willing to forget everything she has ever done just because she was mean for 5 minutes?? A traumatised 14 yo shouldn't be villianised and called toxic because she got mad and lashed out at people that one time??
But here's my take on the scene anyway:
When Aang gets to know that she's going to go face her mother's killer:
Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?
Katara: I knew you wouldn't understand. 
Aang is a non-confrontational person who prefers running away from difficult situations as opposed to Katara who firmly stands her ground and is never afraid of confrontations. Katara had approached Aang only hoping that he would understand. But going by his dismissal, he obviously doesn't understand the burning need that she has to confront the man who had single-handedly destroyed her childhood. (Most people infer that what Katara means is that she thinks that Aang doesn't understand the pain of losing people. And so does Aang, I guess)
But things start getting even more tricky when:
Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.
In all honesty, this is probably the most insensitive thing that she could've heard from anyone right then, let alone one of her closest friends. Hearing herself being compared to a homicidal maniac just because she wants to avenge her mother's killer. (No, I'm not justifying murder but there's a clear difference between homicide and avenging someone's death. And Aang may not be my favourite character but I do love him but this wasn't really a good thing to say either. And he wasn't even mentally distressed in the very least to be completely lacking tact or a filter.)
And then the situation escalates:
Sokka: Katara, she was my mother, too, but I think Aang might be right.
Katara: Then you didn't love her the way I did!
After 6 long years of Katara bottling in her dark feelings and letting them fester inside herself, she is finally letting them out and the first things she faces in a span of few minutes are outright rejection, invalidation of her feelings, comparison to a homicidal maniac and nothing akin to the unconditional support that she has provided to everybody. Her own brother tells her that he is siding with the boy who just compared her to a homicidal maniac.
Yes, accusing your own brother of not loving your mother enough is a very cruel thing to do. But both Sokka and Katara know that she doesn't entirely mean it.
But also, there is one very important factor in here:
In B3 Ep7 "The Runaway", Sokka says to Toph:
Sokka: I'm gonna tell you something crazy. I never told anyone this before, but honestly? I'm not sure I can remember what my mother looked like. It really seems like my whole life, Katara's been the one looking out for me. She's always been the one that's there. And now, when I try to remember my mom, Katara's is the only face I can picture. 
Katara overhears this conversation just as Sokka had meant her to.
This dialogue lets us know that Sokka's coping mechanism has made him suppress all memories of Kya and replace them with memories of Katara in order to attain a semblance of normalcy.
Both Katara and Sokka had very different ways of coping with Kya's death. Katara pressed down her feelings and tried her best to pretend to ignore them while Sokka partially succeeded in forgetting her.
When Katara first hears these words she is shown to be crying. But if she were to remember these very words while she was justifying herself infront of her own brother and a close friend for wanting to avenge her mother, it would've had a negative impact on her.
In her rage, she would've thought: "Of course he doesn't want to avenge mom. Because he doesn't think it's worth it and that's because he doesn't even remember enough of her to be mad about her death."
And for someone who has spent each day of the last 6 years trying to fill in the shoes of her mother and experiencing her absence everyday, the idea of forgetting her mother is a ridiculous concept to her.
Her thoughts would have quickly derailed to: "He didn't love her enough to remember her."
In light of these thoughts, saying "Then you didn't love her the way I did" doesn't feel out of the blue.
No, I am definitely not justifying what she said, I'm just laying out a possible explanation to why she said what she said.
Yes, she should've apologized to Sokka for this and I think that they definitely should've had a long conversation about their mother's death and how it affected them. Between Katara supressing her feelings and Sokka supressing his memories, i don't think they ever had this conversation.
But sadly we are given neither of these scenes.
Tl;dr: Everytime Katara mentions her mother, it's with good reason and I don't think it's fair to call a character toxic when they lack a mind to mouth filter for 5 minutes and say some mean things. And considering all that Katara has done for everybody, it isn't fair at all.
Peace out!
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swanimagines · 3 years
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Congrats on 2K, Jenni!!!
I would like a self-ship, please.
name: kit
pronouns: she/her
sexuality: lesbian
appearance: fair skin, blue eyes, dirty blonde hair that's slightly below my chin, glasses, short (5'2)
personality: nice, kind, responsible, shy, introvert, MBTI is (INFJ-T - Turbulent Advocate). I'm shy and quiet around new people, but once I get to know them I open up a little more. I'm also really creative.
pets: a black cat who is a scaredy cat with big eyes who is cuddly towards me (Max), and two orange kittens, one is a scaredy cat who is kinda friendly if there's not a lot of noise around (Thor), and the other has some white on his face and chest, and he's so sweet (Loki).
likes: kind people, art, cats, watching movies and tv, listening to music, video games, daydreaming, sunny days, blankets. My favorite video game is Stardew Valley, but I also love Little Big Planet and I love Lego Star Wars as well as Lego Batman (I'm not really into the heavy games at the moment). My favorite bands I like to listen to are PVRIS, Paramore, and Against The Current. My favorite tv show is The Legend of Korra and my favorite movie is The Princess Bride.
dislikes: bullies, being late, bugs, large crowds
hobbies: reading, writing, drawing. I've been reading for most of my life, and I'm currently trying to get through The Shadow of Kyoshi by F. C. Yee and Michael Dante DiMartino. I really like writing, especially fanfiction, and I started drawing again last year.
I would like to be shipped with Donna Troy and I would like fluff in third person, and you can choose what it's written as.
Thank you so much!!
"Hi, Jenni!
I would like a second self-ship, please.
I would like it to be platonic with either Dick Grayson or Jason Todd with fluff in third person and you can choose what it's written as.
Thank you."
I made your ships to cross with each other because all of your characters were within the same fandom, I hope that's okay!
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Kit met Donna at a party held by their mutual friend. Donna found Kit all by herself in a room where there were just a few other people, but Kit was sitting on a armchair with her drink in hand, just observing. Donna sat by her and started a chat, feeling bad that someone was alone there, when parties should have been fun.
She got to know that Kit doesn't really like being at parties full of people she doesn't know. She was quiet and shy, and Donna spotted a blush reddening Kit's cheeks when she complimented her outfit.
When the party was over, Donna offered to give Kit a ride home since she looked tired. She tried to decline, not wanting to be a bother, but Donna assured it wouldn't be a problem and soon Kit noticed herself sitting beside Donna in her car, feeling herself dangerously developing something towards Donna. They had just met that night, and she was already falling for her - something had been triggered, and Kit couldn't help but already hoping that she'd see Donna again.
And it didn't take even a week before Donna called Kit, asking if she'd be up to grab a coffee together. "We had a lot of fun at the party and while I was driving you home, so I was wondering..."
Kit accepted in a heartbeat, Max immediately jumping on her lap to beg for some cuddles. He probably heard it how fast her heart was thumping, and Kit gave him a little laugh, giving him a rub he loved so much.
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Shortly after getting to know Donna, Kit naturally met one of Donna's closest friends, Dick Grayson. He would have easily felt like a third wheel as Kit and Donna clearly had feelings for each other, but he made some teasing comments and gave the two knowing looks.
It didn't take long for those two to become friends too, and Dick was there to give Kit advice when she felt too insecure to be worthy of Donna's feelings, if she would even return them. He invited her over to a dinner a couple of times to the Titans tower, and Kit met Donna's other friends. Kit was unaware that they were actually superheroes at that point, and Dick was calming Hank down behind the corner when he thought Kit is too much of a risk to bring there, being a civilian. But they all quickly grew to like her, and soon she was a regular sight there, usually cuddling somewhere with Donna.
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BONUS: THEM TOGETHER
When it wasn't a busy day, three of them just chilled on the sofa, playing a video game or then Kit's head was on Donna's lap as she was reading a book while Donna's hand slowly went through her hair and occasionally rubbed her scalp. If they were spending time at Kit's place, then her cats were there too, Max and Thor had grown to like Donna and Dick after a while and now they both settled themselves on either side of Dick if he was daring enough to sit down. They often watched a TV show or a movie when they were at Kit's place, just a calm evening when Dick and Donna could feel like ordinary people. Jason came by once in a while too, bringing some treats with him if they would watch a movie, and he was always welcome to join.
They would also listen to music together every once in a while, jamming to it or then just relaxing. Kit wouldn't have believed it when she first met Donna, but she now had a strong safety net around herself - stronger than she even knew. One day, they'd tell her about being those masked superheroes, but for now it was unsafe. But they knew she'd understand, she was kind and understanding. Donna definitely hit a jackpot when she got to know Kit.
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softer-ua · 4 years
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in regards to what you pointed out a few posts ago, ngl one of my least favorite fandom things is when they make Kaminari the Har Har Stupid Joking ADHD Bi Playboy Who Is Never Serious Trope. like, he's very smart, 'worst in ___ area of a UA course' is very impressive and I don't remember if it even said that or just that he was studying with some other students, worried about his grades overall, calls himself stupid with implied insecurities about it, and didn't think he was very smart compared to the other people in the course. quirk overuse makes him loopy, incoherent, and think everything's funny. and yeah, he's a bit of a flirt and made a few perverted comments and actions that he clearly didn't think through that well. I'm pretty sure he's not ever stated to be bi in the manga because it was written by a coward, so I think people should think more about why they're associating and pairing together the idea of "hot flirty playboy who if legally able would sleep with everyone he meets" with emphasis or joke in the captions of whatever the content is on him being bi. I don't think this is inherently bad, even put together, but the execution feels kind of :/ and shallow. and I mainly just wish they'd pause to consider if there's any reason (subconscious or intentional) why one of those makes them think about the other, and at the very least lean back to see if they're blatantly making those traits centric around each other and tweak how they're showing them a little. Part of this is also because it's basically his fanon sexuality, but then they stick together "oh he's bi and everyone thinks that" and "he's made flirty or perverted comments and actions in canon at some point" and then mentally exaggerate and have this Canon Image of him as *waves hand at above* and I don't think that's happening consciously in most cases but. again. Cookiecutter Bi Party Playboy Who's Made a Date Offer to Everyone In The Building. not a flirty Person or a Playboy who is bi and flirts with more than one genders
I myself headcanon him as adhd and while the exact sexuality depends on my mood I think of/have him as bi in a lot of my content, but it's the same thing with why non adhd people see how he acts and label "adhd!" Especially about comprehension speed and derpy acting and intelligence and attention span jokes/tropes. Again, not bad in and of itself, but the specific parts of his behavior that make them think he's adhd, or that they start making jokes about or Ha Ha ADHD'ing, or that they think is why we project ADHD on him, (which they aren't necessarily wrong about, but like right in a really disrespectful look at how funny this is oh look squirrel way that's only funny when adhd people are doing it and it isn't all mocking like that) when they see other people calling him adhd, are the wrong ones, I think, and it shows in their characterization of him.
I'm not saying that any of those traits are bad in a character, but as a queer adhd girl with very high annual test scores and Gifted Kid Intelligence but extremely poor grades, focus, and brain damage (admittedly nothing like his, it was a longterm passive thing that mainly just made me have a Lot of Really Bad headaches, and closest thing it did to me was make me sluggish and emotional on bad days and also techincally have the potential kill my language bit if left untreated or the surgery messed up, which it didn't, and it won't be a problem again. but even after explaining that it wasn't cancer or any sort of tumor, and after seeing it do very little at all to affect my behavior outside of irritability and performance, because y'know, constant migraines, gone after the surgery but this was before that, Certain People I Was Vaguely Kind Of Acquaintances With started to treat my like I was a fragile glass thing going to to drop dead and revive myself speaking like a comic relief cartoon crazy person at any moment which was. patronizing.) I've since had surgery for, the way the fandom combines them into stereotypes and portrays them really just rubs me the wrong way- "Flirty Bi(tm) Playboy" "Har Har ADHD Can't Focus Or Get Things After They're Explained To Him, He's Still Confused And An Idiot" "Stupid Person With Brain Damage Who Can't Take Care Of Or Think For Themself And Acts Stupid And Funny For People To Laugh At" which tbh is super ableist even and especially when people irl do fit that description, and also reminds me of the Autistic Person Freaking Out And Being Dramatic sense of humor. And I know it's not helped by canon, because it done for comic relief and to limit his powers, but explored more I think it as a limitation could have been used way more interestingly than canon did and also call me biased but that quirk induced brain frying sounds at least as concerning as Izuku's quirk's backlash.
And it's a shame!! Because he's so much more interesting than that! Instead, the fandom gives me the Cookicutter Funny Bi ADHD Flirt Who's An Idiot and I am sad about it.
tbh it reminds me of what happened to percy jackson, esp with the ADHD Idiot Trope thing. which sucks because apparently it originated in the author making up stories around characters like his adhd and dyslexic kid inspired by Greek myths to tell him after running out of actual myths because it was his special interest and he wanted more. and then the series got kind of all over the place and the fandom processed that the adhd and dyslexic main character who does dumb things sometimes but is very combat smart and great at strategizing and leading gets bad grades and has trouble focusing and has, y'know, adhd, and made him the ADHD Idiot and erased his Gifted Kid girl friend's traits and ADHD and dyslexia into No Nonsense Calls Him an Idiot And Thinks He's Stupid And Has To Tell Him What To Do And Manage His Life For Him and honestly that just kind of sucks and it reminds me of what happened to fandom Kaminari. and now that I think of it people have jirou like that around him a lot too.
im fine with you answering this publicly if you want or have something to add but probably tag as ableism and maybe a biphobia mention content warning for people who don't have the energy to deal with thinking about those kinds of negative things rn because I kind of Went Off About It
I love this! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences 💚(and double thank you for tag suggestions)💚
I couldn’t agree more that a lot of fandom has messed up Kami’s character, which is why I’ve kinda been posting more about him cause he’s just stuck in my head.
I think a lot of fandoms have trouble with characters like this, people have a hard time with duality in characters and fast/fun posts are easier to make if you flatten a character down.
The did it to Kami, they did it to Percy, they did it to Ron Weasley, they do it to Thor, the list goes on. If being the Smart One ™️ isn’t your thing and you can be goofy than you get pigeonholed into the idiot trope.
I feel for Kami a lot(probably because I have adhd/brain damage too)
It sucks when you’re smart but it’s not the traditional, measurable kind of smart(even if by national comparison Kami technically is).
I got terrible grades growing up, and I pretty much got the absolute lowest gpa you can get and still graduate. But absolutely no one would have known if I didn’t tell them, because I’m not dumb.
(It’s okay if you are “dumb”, I love me a head empty just vibes friend. You’re 100% valid, stil worthy of joining discussions, and should be listened to and taken seriously. This just isn’t about that tho)
I joke sometimes that I’m clever and witty but not smart, because that’s exactly what it feels like.
I have lots of thoughts and ideas that I think I articulate pretty well, I am excellent at finding the humor in things and expressing it in a way that’s funny to others too, and there is almost zero problems I can’t find a work around. And the people in my life love it, and they love to use it.
But eventually everyone in my life finds out that I’m not smart. They see the way I have to pause to Google how to calculate a tip, that I don’t know the name of all 50 states or even where to find them on a map, or I legitimately just can not spell (if you ever see a post where it looks like I used a weird word choice it’s probably because I tried 4 times and autocorrect+Google couldn’t help me and voice to text wasn’t an option)
No one ever questions my intelligence until they find out about my adhd and/or catch me struggling with it. After the mask comes off it’s like they can’t even hear me anymore, nothing I say could be true or matter because I’m now just the goofy accident prone spacy girl. My family literally calls me Spacy
And ya know what sometimes I just let people think that because it’s easier, it’s easier than explaining that I’m dyslexic and that I didn’t have a single geography/history clas until 10th grade and shocker the capital of Iowa doesn’t come up much by then. And it’s easier for me to laugh off losing my keys again than dwell on the fact that sometimes it feels like I’m losing my marbles.
And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if after this post I get a lot more “fact checkers” and push back on anything else I post.(not talking about people who want to genuinely engage,y’all are always welcome, I’m talking those people who don’t wanna look it up themselves but no longer trust me to know what I’m talking about)
Kami is a sweet brilliant boy. He’s in a nationally high ranking school, he loves the weather channel, he’s careful about his quirk that could easily hurt his friends in combat, he has a very high emotional intelligence level, he wears dorky shirts with electricity puns on them, and he pays attention to his friends and remembers a lot of little things about them.
He wants to be a hero and he takes that seriously, and the series has tried time and time again to tell y’all that smiling and laughter are an important part of that. Kami excels at this part! So what if his history grades don’t rival the top of the class, the top 5 students would struggle hard to do what Kami does.
Iida can’t relax, Momos rather shy, Todo struggles with social cues, Midoriya is canonically not funny, and jfc where to even begin with Katsuki. I’m certain they’ll all grow up to be excellent heros in their own right, but none of them are going to bring the level of joy and camaraderie that Denki can. You can’t test that into someone.
Kami also just notices people differently and has any easy way of joining in with them, he doesn’t struggle approaching Katsuki or Shinso. Sure he doesn’t hit the the nail on the head the same way Deku does but he’s the only one who has the guts and skills to try. Also he’s not that kinda friend, he’s not looking to a save these guys but pal around with them
I think Kami 100% realizes what a special case and tough nut to crack Bakugo is, I don’t think he’s just careless or too dumb realize his life’s at stake or whatever.
I think he’s purposely testing Bakugos boundaries all while trying to not be a threat to Katsukis actual ego and calling Bakugo out when he needs it in a way that not to serious. Kami knows how to be just goofy enough that he’s approachable. He’s also keyed in that the way to Bakugo is through Deku, meanwhile everyone else is stuck believing the opposite.
Kami also realized how important music is to Jiro and saw an opportunity to let her display her skills and combin the two worlds she lives, and he wasn’t afraid to get some back lash from her for it.
Like Deku Kami isn’t afraid to be uncomfortable. You really can’t teach that level of social ease, you can teach the posture and feed people a couple of lines but it’ll never hit the same. Funny approachable people have spent a lifetime learning the craft, usually out of necessity.
It’s actually what gives me the biggest adhd vibes from him, because adhd is (speculated to be) a dopamine deficiency disorder. People with adhd are constantly trying to raise their dopamine levels, and that means looking for praise and reward and nothing makes the human brain light up faster than postative human connections.
Adhd children struggle a lot with connecting with peers and often find making people laugh a fast way into people’s circles and makes it more likely people will overlook being interrupted or spaced out on.
Also adhd people are pretty much forced by their own brain structures to be genuine in all they do, low dopamine levels make it very hard to do things you don’t enjoy because there no promise of dopamine from the activity and you don’t have enough to spare, plus impulsiveness makes it really hard to not show when you do or don’t enjoy something.
I agree that Kami is also painted as overly perverted at times, he’s a little flirty but in a fun casual way but it’s not the foundation of his personality and it’s really mellowed out over the course of the series.
And while I subscribe to the bi hc from his interactions with Jiro and Shinso, we should all be very mindful that we don’t lump these characteristics together. The are separate facets of his personality that are not dependent on each other in anyway.
Kami deserves all the respect and love, I can’t wait to see our electric king again 🖤⚡️🖤
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rohad93 · 4 years
Text
Moonlit Masquerade: Full Circle
Part 12 of The Moonlit Masquerade Series
The first free day they both have together after Luz proposes, Amity all but drags Luz to the market so she can buy her fiancée her own ring. Luz groans as Amity pulls her out of bed at the crack of dawn.
Though it's less pulling and more slipping out of her grip in bed to get dressed and refusing to come back to bed when Luz moans for her to come back and snuggle with her.
"Vuelve a la cama, quiero acurrucarme," she moaned from face down on her pillow.
Amity rolled her eyes even as she kneeled over the bed to press a kiss to the back of Luz's head and rub a hand over her back, trying to rouse her quickly without having to toss her out of the bed as sometimes was the case.
"We can snuggle later, querida."
"Or, and consider this…. we could snuggle now…" Her head popped up from the pillow to look at her sleepily.
"We need to do this now," Amity said firmly even as she grinned at her. Luz groaned, head dropping back to the pillow.
"When you said we were gonna spend all day together, getting up at the crack of dawn to go to the market was not what I had in mind…," she mumbled.
Amity sighed, rolling her eyes fondly as she crawled fully back into the bed and wrapped her arms around Luz, lips pressed against her ear.
"We have all day, Luz. I'll take you to breakfast after and I promise, I'll make it worth your while later." The statement was punctuated by a kiss to her neck as Amity threaded her fingers through her hair. "...but we have to do this now."
Luz sighed into her pillow
"...fine," she mumbled. Amity smiled and pressed another brief kiss to her neck before rolling out of bed so Luz could push herself up only for Amity to toss a shirt and pants at her.
Luz grumbles as she flips back the blankets and starts getting dressed.
"Do we have to?" she asks with a sigh as she changes.
"You don't want a ring?" Amity asks, brows furrowed, and she's in the middle of pulling a shirt over her head, so Luz can't see her fiancée's face, but she knows the slight hurt tone when she hears it, she's intimately familiar with all Amity's tones of voice.
"Of course I want everyone to know I'm engaged to the most beautiful witch on the Boiling Isles, mi amor, but do we have to go to the market before dawn?" She finally pulls the tunic over her head and turns to Amity.
"Yes, the stand I want to go to gets there before the sun comes up and he sells out of his wares by breakfast. We need to go now," she says, turning and walking out of their room, Luz following, grabbing her staff off the hook on the wall as she does.
"Why don't you just buy one for me…?" she asks between a yawn.
"I want you to have the one you want." is the answer.
"Are you saying you don't like your ring?" Luz asks, and she's teasing, she knows Amity loves her ring, she'd taken every opportunity to show it to her siblings and their friends over the past week, but that doesn't stop her from spinning around on the stairs, eyes wide.
"What?! No! It's beautiful, Luz," she hurriedly assures.
"Hey, hey, I was teasing, I know you like it…"
"I love it," Amity corrects. "I just…," she sighs. "I just want to get you something you love just as much, and I haven't a clue where to even start… you don't wear jewelry except earrings…," she says and Luz shrugs.
"Never had much interest in it," she agrees with a shrug, stepping down to the step just above the one Amity is standing on so she can lean down over her. "I'd like anything you gave me, Amity." Luz reminds, cupping a cheek in her hand and leaned in to press a soft kiss against her mouth.
"I know you would…," Amity hums against her lips as she pulls back. "But, please Luz, let me do this?"
Luz couldn't say no to that pleading look even if she wanted to.
"I'm already out of bed and dressed so we might as well." She grins and Amity smiles at her.
The morning is warm and it promises to be a hot day, but they've set aside the whole day just to be together, and no matter the weather, that makes it perfect. Those days were much fewer in between since the rebellion. They were both busy often. They had played such pivotal roles in starting and ending the rebellion that people often looked to the two of them and their friends in the past year. There are always problems to solve and people to help adjust, but not today.
They have plenty of time to spare, so they walk, hand in hand to town. Glad to enjoy this unhurried moment together.
"Have you thought any about what you want to do for the wedding?" Luz asked her.
"I've… had some ideas…" Amity hedges, not willing to admit how much she's actually thought out in the one week since they got engaged whenever she had a few minutes between duties.
But Luz knows Amity. She's a planner, and if there was ever anything she'd be eager to plan, it's their wedding.
"You already have a whole notebook full of stuff don't you?" She grins knowingly and watches Amity's cheeks pink.
"It's not full… just like… half," she mumbled and Luz laughed. "They're just ideas! I wouldn't do any actual planning without you… though…," she trailed off. Luz squeezed her hand.
"We haven't really talked about a date yet, but… I have one in mind if it's alright with you."
"Shoot." Luz smiled at her.
"The 31st of October," Amity says.
"Halloween?" Luz can't help but grin at that. To her great surprise, her first October in the Isles, they did in fact have Halloween, though it looked a little different than in the human realm. No one dressed up as witches or werewolves, except her, since all those things existed here. They dressed up as humans. Doctors and lawyers and just everyday human objects. She'd never forget the two years Gus went as a toaster.
Amity smiled, she had a good feeling Luz would like that.
"Yes, but that's not the reason I picked it, querida. It's the next blue moon," she said.
" The bl- the blue moon!" Luz lit up. "That's perfect, amor!"
"Yeah?" Amity smiled.
"Yeah! There's something… hmm, not ironic, but you know what I mean, like, coming full circle." Luz tapped her chin, trying to think of the right word.
"That was my thought exactly." Amity nodded. "I also know how much you love Halloween." she grinned.
"It's true, I do." Luz smiled. "Though I get a distinct feeling that you're not going to let our wedding be costume themed…," she trailed off suggestively.
"No," is the deadpan answer.
"Fine…," Luz pouts. Amity rolled her eyes for the third time since waking up; forty-five minutes ago.
"So, October?"
"October" Luz agrees. "Could I wear an orange suit?" She tries and Amity laughs.
"If you want… but please don't. Orange is not your color, Luz."
"I know, I just wanted to see if you'd let me."
"It is your wedding too."
"Yeah, but you get kinda controlling when you're in charge of planning things, amor," Luz smirks at her as they walk through the market.
"I…!" Amity's mouth closes with a quiet click. She knows it's true, the first blue moon masquerade she'd had to throw after she'd turned sixteen had been a little tense, not the party, but the planning, she'd been a little hard on their friends and Luz, with her anal-retentive tendencies. Luz described her as "type A" and after she actually explained what that meant Amity had to admit it was true.
"I… am going to try very hard, not to do that. I want us to do this together," she said after a moment. Luz smiled at her and lifted their interlaced hands to lay a kiss on the back of Amity's hand in answer.
Amity pulls them to a certain stall in the market and she recognizes him.
He's large and scaly with four eyes and a tail. The same merchant Luz had bought Amity's broach from years ago. The one she still wears pinned to her shirt, under her cloak.
"Miss Blight, Miss Noceda!" He greets happily as they approach.
That's something Luz is still getting used to, people recognizing and knowing her. They and their friends had been pretty front and center during the rebellion after all.
"Good morning, Mr. Azbar." Amity greets him.
"How can I be of service to you today?" He asks looking between them, all four eyes blinking.
"We're looking for a ring," Amity tells him. He hums and gestures to a section of his wares, where some are sitting in their cloth slots on display.
Luz looks them over carefully. They're all pretty, but nothing she would really describe as her style. They're either too big or too much, more in the style that the upper class of Isles society would wear. Very showy, which once, Luz would have jumped at, but her flair for being bright and loud had settled some with age. She doesn't need to be loud or over the top for people to look and pay attention to her. She's not an insecure teenager anymore. She has the attention of all the people she needs.
She's still over the top at heart, but only with those closest to her.
"They're nice," she finally says. "But nothing really jumps out at me." She shrugs and Amity looks disappointed, while Azbar hums, looking at her thoughtfully.
"I do have something else, it was a special order, but the gentlemen who ordered it was a loyalist and met a rather… unfortunate end last year…" he says, tail swaying behind him.
"Sure, let's see it." Luz nods.
He digs under his stall before pulling out a little black box and pops it open.
"Oh, wow," Luz breathes.
It's a silver band with little scrolling patterns engraved into the sides, but the gem inlaid atop it is obviously the centerpiece. It's a bright plum color, with a vaguely star-shaped white pattern on its surface.
"It's beautiful." Amity agrees.
"It's a plum star jewel." He says and Amity's eyes widen at that. "Ahh, I see you're familiar with the stone, Miss. Blight," Azbar says.
"Plum star?" Luz questions.
"They're quite rare, something about their composition and how they're formed, only on the head, allows them to act as conduits for the natural magic of the Isles," Amity explains to her. "That would be perfect for you actually, Luz, it would probably increase your glyphs powers by letting you more easily draw on the magic of the Isles." Amity smiles.
"It's really pretty too." Luz looks at it with starry eyes and Amity sees how enamored Luz is with the ring.
"How much?" she asks him.
"Three-thousand-five hundred"
"Ay dios mio!" Luz shouts, standing up straight, eyes blown wide.
"For the two of you, however, I would take two. I'm certainly not going to make any money from the dead man who ordered it."
"We'll take it," Amity says, and Luz's head whips to her.
"What, No!" she half shouts at her.
"You like this one, I know you do, Luz," Amity says.
"That's a ridiculous amount to spend on my ring, Amity," she argues.
"How much did you spend on my ring?" she asks, planting a hand on her hip, and Luz pursed her lips.
Amity may not know for certain, but she grew up in the upper classes, she knows what a fine piece of jewelry looks like, and what it costs, and she knows her ring is just that. So she has a pretty good idea, and highly suspects Luz paid more than what she's proposing to spend right now.
"I don't have to answer that question." She crosses her arms and turns her nose up.
"Mhmm…," Amity hums knowingly. Luz huffs. "Luz, you said you'd let me buy you the ring you wanted," she reminds and Luz grumbles.
When they were young, Luz had always been weird about money, she never had any qualms about spending her own, hard-earned money on Amity, but never liked it when she spent money on her.
It wasn't until they were older that she admitted that she just never wanted it to seem like she was taking advantage of the money Amity came from. Which she personally thought was ridiculous, she was quite happy to spend her family's money on Luz. It made her mother angry and she liked to make Luz happy; both wins in her book. Especially so long as her father still funded her and the twins, when they asked, and even if he didn't, Amity would still be glad to work just so she could make her future wife happy.
This however was not funded by her father, this was money Amity had been saving for some time, just for this. Luz had simply beat her to the punch. After the first time they had talked about marriage, several years ago, she had started a separate savings fund just for this, and had been quite diligent in putting into it over that time.
They had worked it out, but sometimes, Luz still got a little skittish about it.
"This is the one you want, I know it is, so please?"
Luz sighed, looking at her before glancing back at the ring.
"Alright, yes. That's the one I want," she finally admitted, and Amity smiled, turning to Azbar, who grinned, showing off a mouth full of sharp teeth.
"Excellent!" He closed the box and Amity spun a finger, a sac of snails falling out into her open palm, which she gladly traded off for the box.
"A pleasure to do business with you both, and congratulations." He nodded.
"Thank you," they both said before they walked down the street.
Amity popped it open and pulled the ring from its box and held her hand out.
Luz set her hand in Amity's and let her slip the ring on her finger. She flexed it experimentally, testing the new weight into her hand.
"Well?" Amity asked.
"It's beautiful, amor," she agreed. "Thank you." She smiled, looking up at her. Amity smiled back before leaning down to kiss her.
"Come on, I promised you breakfast," she mumbled against her lips.
~ ~
Two days after their trip to the market Luz is standing in the kitchen brewing potions when Amity and Lilith come home from the Council headquarters, formerly Emperor Belos' castle, at mid-morning.
"Hey, you two are back really early." She grins at them, and they both smile back, but there's something off about it. "Something wrong, was the council such a pain in the ass you left early?" She cocks a brow as she stirs a large orange batch of something.
"No, we've been digging through some of the Belos' more secret places in the depths of the castle, and we found something yesterday, we've been doing some tests on it and have found it to be in perfect working condition…," Lilith trails off. Amity is biting her lip, which makes Luz frown. She only does that when she was worried or nervous.
"What did you find?" Luz asks curiously.
Lilith and Amity share a glance.
"We brought it home, I think it would be better if we showed you," Lilith said before turning to Amity. "Get Eda."
Amity nods before hurrying up the stairs to the younger Clawthorne sister's room.
"Now you're scaring me…" Luz frowned. "Why is Amity upset?"
Lilith frowned.
"She's not upset, just… anxious, I suppose," she hedges.
Amity then returns with Eda.
"So what did you find in that Bozos' castle?" She crosses her arms.
"Come see for yourself." Lilith looks at her seriously.
She leads them outside and around the back of the house and the second it comes into view both Luz and Eda stop cold.
Sitting there in the grass, it's one golden eye staring back at them, is the portal.
Luz is breathless as the door from her dreams and nightmares looks back at her.
Eda's shock doesn't last as long, but then her worried eyes are on Luz, along with Amity's and Lilith's.
"The portal…," she breathes, finally taking a step toward it.
Amity is twisting her fingers anxiously in her cloak as she watches. Her ring feels heavy on her finger.
The door looks like it has seen better days, it's pieces patchworked together with bits of metal and who knows what. He somehow fixed it after she destroyed it.
"You said it works?" Luz finally looks at Lilith, who nods.
"We've been testing it's magic extensively since yesterday morning, and it works every time," she said. "We brought it back, so you may use it, if you wish." She glanced at a fidgeting Amity.
Luz blinks at that.
Her mother… she could finally see her again, tell her where she's been for the past six years.
Slowly she nods.
"Yes,...I...I need my staff!" She turns around and ran back into the house.
Amity feels like she's on the verge of hyperventilating as she stands there, motionless in the yard. Luz needed this, needed to see her mother after all these years.
But what if she decided she didn't want to come back to the Isles?
What if she decided not to come back to her?
The thought is ridiculous, but the fear remains, bubbling in her chest anxiously.
Luz comes running back with her staff in its holster on her back and she still looks shocked and bewildered, but determined.
"Are you sure you're ready, Luz? You don't need to go right this second..." Eda tells her cautiously, she feels much like Amity but is better at hiding it than the younger witch.
"No… " Luz shakes her head. "but it's been six years, I can't make her wait any longer." Eda is frowning but nods.
She takes a step toward the door but stops to glance at Amity and can immediately tell by the hunch of her shoulders and the way her brows furrow between her eyes as she clutches at her cloak that she's scared. Of what, Luz isn't sure, but her fiancée's apparent discomfort beats out her other roiling emotions for the moment and she moves to her.
"Hey, what's wrong?" she asks quietly, reaching out to take hold of her left hand in hers. Their rings make a quiet clinking noise.
Amity shakes her head.
Truthfully, as soon as she had seen the portal in the dank nether regions of the castle, she had wanted to destroy it and never tell Luz about it.
It makes her ashamed to admit that she probably would have if Lilith hadn't been standing there with her. She and Lilith had discussed this at great length since they had found the portal, and as much as she didn't want to, she had to give Luz the choice, because she loved her; it wasn't fair or right to take that choice away from her.
She had to have faith that the woman she loved would come back to her.
"Nothing, Luz… just…" she can't think of anything to say that wouldn't sound selfish or admit how she feels because guilting Luz into not going would be selfish too, and even if she wasn't trying to guilt her, she knew Luz, and Luz would stay if she thought she didn't want her to go.
Luz seems to understand, at least a little bit.
"Hey, it's okay. I'll be fine and back soon, mi amor," she gently assures her with a kiss.
Amity just nods, and then Luz pulls away and turns to the door. She takes a deep breath and with a final glance around at the gathered witches, she opens the door and a blinding light fills the door frame and lights her silhouette as she steps through and it closes behind her.
Amity takes a shuddering breath and spins a finger and her staff appears.
"I'm going back to the castle…," is all she says, and then is flying off before Eda or Lilith can say anything.
"She's worried…" Lilith frowns, watching her go.
"Me too…" Eda frowns at the closed door.
~
The moment Luz steps through the other side she's hit by an assortment of sounds and smells that tug at her memory but also assault her senses.
Even standing in the doorway to the rickety shack in the woods, she can hear the sounds of traffic, something almost foreign to her now, and smell the slight unnaturalness in the air from the everyday pollution. She wrinkles her nose at it.
She also feels strange… like she's been cut off from something, it's hard to put it into words.
She pulls a glyph from her pocket and when she tries to cast the simple light spell the paper disintegrates into dust.
Frowning, she reaches for her staff.
She pulls it from her back and gives it a test, her palisman's eyes glow and a few light spells pop into existence and she sighs in relief, not only because at least the magic of her staff works, but because when she feels it's power course through her, she realizes what the strange feeling is.
Being cut off from the magic of the Isles.
Having learned and trained the last six years to use the wild magic that came from the island itself, she had a deep connection to it, going into another realm and cutting herself off from it feels like losing an appendage; like a phantom limb. she can almost feel it and she knows it's supposed to be there but it isn't and she can keenly feel its loss.
She slips her staff back into its holster and walks down the rickety wooden steps of the abandoned house and follows the path till she's standing next to the street and looks around as cars drive past, their engines loud and cacophonous.
She guessed that the human world really was always this loud, she'd just grown used to not having all the noise of industrialization around her all the time in the demon realm.
She turns and freezes.
There it is, the small house on the corner that was her childhood home.
She swallows thickly.
What if her mother didn't live there anymore? What if she moved away after Luz had disappeared?
As she stands there worrying, a car pulls into the driveway and a woman steps out and Luz's heart stops.
The woman is a little older now. With far more gray in her hair, but it's her mother.
She stands there motionless, watching Camila Noceda walk into the house.
Luz squared her shoulders. It was time.
She walks quickly up to the house and stands on the porch.
She thought about this moment countless times over the last six years, and she had always thought she knew what she was going to say or do when this moment came, but now that she's standing here about to make it a reality, she has no idea.
She takes a deep calming breath and reaches a shaky hand up, hesitating only a moment before finally knocking on the door.
It feels like an eternity, but it's probably only a minute at best before the door clicks open and her mother is standing there, looking at her from the other side.
"Yes, how-" she starts but stops as she stares at the young woman standing on her porch, looking so strange in her cloak, with leather pouches hanging off her hips and a long stick with a carved owl on top hanging off her back, but she looks so achingly familiar it makes Camila's heart twist and she tries to stomp down the hope rising in her chest. How many girls had she seen from behind over the years and hoped had been her little girl? Y-yes?"
"Hi, Mamí." Is all Luz can think to say.
Camila sucks in a sharp breath and her eyes glaze over as she shakes her head.
"You… you can't be…," she says shakily, gripping the doorway tightly.
"It is. It's me." Luz smiles, her own eyes starting to burn with tears.
"Luz… I… tell me, tell me something only Luz would know!" she demands but it's more begging, pleading with this familiar-looking stranger to please be who she says she is.
"Something only I would know…," Luz repeats, thinking. "Um, when I was ten you had to pick me up from school because I blew up a glitter bomb in science class and claimed I didn't need science because I had ma…"
"Magic…," Camila chokes and the tears are suddenly pouring down her face. "Luz!" she wails, throwing herself on her, and her grip is so tight Luz can barely breathe, but she holds her back just as tightly, her own tears finally dripping from her face as they sink to a pile on the porch.
They sit there for a very long time, till her mother can't cry anymore and neither can she.
Camila finally pulls back to look at her, eyes red and puffy and she cups Luz's face in her hands.
"You're a grown woman…," her mother sniffles, looking at her so sadly, even as she smiles at her. "You never came home… I looked for so long…" tears are still sliding down her cheeks. "Where have you been, Mija?" she finally asks desperately.
"We better go inside so you can sit down… you're not going to believe me…," she says and Camila frowns at that.
She doesn't believe her; at first.
Luz tells her where she's been and Camila thinks she's gone crazy, until she proves it by doing some spells with her staff and pulls her old phone out of her pocket she grabbed when she went to get her staff, and begins showing her the photos and videos she's taken over the years of the Isles, of Eda, Lilith, King, and Hooty. She carefully avoids the ones of Amity for now. She doesn't want to overload her mother by telling her she's engaged, as though that would be the hardest thing to believe in her story…
Camila sits amazed and silent for a long while as she explains Belos' and having to destroy the portal to save Eda, even though it effectively cut her off from the human realm. She talks about going to Hexside, graduating, and her friends, which makes Camila smile.
Eventually, she starts asking questions and Luz is happy to answer them all. They sit there for hours, talking. Luz gestures wildly as she tells her stories and Camila can see it clearly.
Her excitable little girl, in this older, mature, young woman sitting next to her, and for the first time in years, doesn't feel the hollow ache in her heart that had been present since the day Luz had disappeared.
It's when Luz is gesturing wildly with her hands that Camila notes the glint on her left hand and gasps, making Luz stop.
"What?" She blinks and Camila grabs her left hand and is looking at the silver ring and it's glinting violet, and white, oval stone.
Oh
"You're married, Mija?!" Camila all but shouts. She missed her daughter's wedding?!
"Engaged, actually…" Luz grins. Guess she was going to tell her about Amity now. "Just a week ago in fact."
"Engaged! Tell me, tell me all about him!" Her mother is smiling.
"Her, actually," she says nervously. Her mother had known she was bi, but she had been fourteen at the time and this was a totally different thing.
"Tell me about her." Her mother still demands and Luz smiles.
"Her name is Amity… we've been together six years, since that first summer…"
Luz then launches into what she refers to as an epic tale of romance and adventure.
Even if it starts with Amity not liking her very much. She goes through it all.
Their first meeting at Hexside, the covention, Grom, grudgby, the masquerade and so many of the little moments in between up to Luz's proposal last week and then the finding of the portal door.
Camila asks many questions about Amity and everyone and makes faces throughout. Exasperated at so many of her daughter's antics and happy for all her triumphs.
By the end of it all, tears are welling up in her eyes again.
"I've missed so much of your life…," she says sadly.
Luz grabs her hands and holds them tightly between hers.
"You've missed some, but I promise you won't miss anymore." She smiles.
Camila nods but is frowning.
"You're not coming back to stay are you?" she asks and Luz frowns.
"No…" Luz shook her head. "The rest of my family… my friends… the love of my life... they're all back on the Bolling Isles...I've made a life there, besides, we both know I never fit in here… that's why you sent me to summer camp in the first place…"
Camila flinches at that. How often over the last six years had she wished with all her heart that she had never sent Luz away?
"You could have…" Camila starts but Luz shakes her head.
"Mamí, everyone at school hated me. I never told you about it because I didn't want you to worry, but no one wanted to be friends with me. They picked on me constantly. I was never going to be like them, but back home… I get to be everything and do everything I ever wanted. For my part in the rebellion, people respect me, I have friends that would do anything if I asked them and a fiancée who loves me," she says and squeezes her mom's hands. "The Isles are my home."
Camila sniffles but nods sadly.
"You really have grown up, Mija," she says.
"You can still be a part of my life. Now that the portal is working I can come to visit you anytime and you can come to visit me."
"I would like to meet your friends and Amity." She smiles and Luz grins brightly.
"You'll love her!" Luz promised.
Camila tells her about the very hard two years just after she disappeared and all the time she spent looking for her before finally giving up, and it makes guilt swell in Luz's gut, but she knows there's nothing to do about it now. She never stopped trying to find a way, it just never panned out anytime they thought they had a lead.
They talked for hours until Luz realizes the sun is coming up. She's been here since yesterday morning.
"Mierda!" She jumps up off the couch. "I've been here a whole twenty-four hours, Amity is probably worried about me!"
Camila stands, and though the last thing she wants is to see Luz go, she knows she must.
"Come back soon, please, Mija…" she says and Luz smiles and hugs her.
"I promise I'll be back in a day or two, I'll take you to meet everyone."
"I'd like that…" she smiles and squeezes her daughter tightly and walks her to the door.
Luz bounds down the steps and turns to smile and wave at her. Camila waves back, and then Luz is running down the street toward the woods. Camila stands on the porch, watching her go until she can't see her anymore.
She hops up the steps and opens the door and is relieved when she steps through into the demon realm. There was a small fear in the back of her mind that the door might not work.
As soon as she steps back out, into the backyard of the owl house, she can feel her connection to the Isles return, like stepping out of a stuffy house out into the cool fresh air. She breathes deeply and smiles as she runs around to the front of the house.
"Luz, your back!" Hooty stretched out to greet her, wriggling happily.
"I'm back," she grins at him and steps inside.
Lilith is sitting on the couch and looks up when she walks in.
"You're back!" She sounds relieved.
"Of course, is Amity here? I have a lot to tell her."
"No, she left early this morning, she… seemed upset." Lilith hesitates to tell her, but Luz deserves to know.
She frowns but nods. She would have to make up for that. She was gone longer than she meant to be and never meant to worry her.
"I'll talk to her when she gets home,"
"How was it?" Lilith asks curiously and Luz grins.
"Great. We had a lot to talk about but... I think my mom's gonna be okay. She just needs some time to soak it all up I think." She shrugs and Lilith nods.
"It is a lot to take in."
"Is Mom home?" she asks. And Lilith cocks a brow at that but nods.
"In the kitchen."
Luz walks into the kitchen where Eda is standing at their brewing station, working on something.
"I'm back!" she announces, making Eda look up, she looks relieved to see her.
"Hey, kid. How'd it go?" she asks cautiously.
Luz smiles and tells her all about it. Eda nods along, listening to her story.
"I think things are going to be kind of interesting, introducing mamí to everyone and the Isles," she chuckles.
Eda nods and Luz hums, walking over. Eda has been kind of quiet.
"Something up, momma?" she asks, hopping up on the counter next to where Eda is working. She shakes her head, the word stings her today.
"Come on, tell me." Luz nudges her with her foot and Eda sighs, knowing that Luz isn't going to go away until she speaks.
"Lilith had me looking at the seating chart she's helping Amity with for the wedding, had me in the front row, but now that you got your mom back, she should have that spot, kid," she says.
"Huh?" Luz blinks at her owlishly. She can read between the lines. Is that what has her all down, she thinks that Luz isn't going to look at her as her mother anymore?
She has her mamí back, it's true, but Luz isn't going anywhere, and no one, even her birth mother could ever take the place Eda has claimed In her heart, just as Eda could never really take Camila's.
"Your mom should be in the front row at the wedding, Luz," Eda says, not looking up from the potion she's working on.
"You will be." Luz says, "and Mamí will be right next to you."
"Luz, it's ok…," she says quietly, and Luz's frown deepens.
"She's my mom... but so are you." She asserts.
"Luz you don't need to-" Eda sighs.
"You are," Luz affirms, cutting her off and hopping off the counter to stand eye to eye with the older witch. "You didn't have to take me in, take care of me, or teach me magic, but you did, for six years you did all these things you didn't have to. You certainly didn't have to love me, but you did, and I love you. You'll always be my mom, and you'll sit right next to mamí in the front row at my wedding where you belong," she tells her, leaving no room for argument, and for the first time since Luz can ever remember, tears are starting to drip down Eda's cheeks. It's been some close calls over the years, but this is the first time she's ever openly shed tears in front of Luz.
Eda wraps her arms around her, chin on her shoulder and Luz squeezed her back just as tightly.
"I love you too, kid." Eda sniffles and Luz smiled, burying her face in Eda's shoulder as tears stung at her own eyes. She's been doing way too much crying lately.
She pulled back and Eda wiped at her eyes just as the front door opened, and they can hear Amity and Lilith talking.
"Hey babe, in here!" Luz called and a second later Amity is standing in the doorway, gold eyes wide.
"You're back!" A bright smile broke out across her face as she hurried to close the distance between them and wrap her arms around her.
Luz laughed, squeezing her fiancée tightly.
"Of course. I told you, I would be." She pulled back enough to kiss Amity's cheek.
"I know, I was just… worried about you, that maybe you missed your home more than you thought you would… that you might not come back..., " she admits sheepishly. Luz can hear the 'to me' in her words.
"I missed mamí, but my home is here, with you, Amity," Luz assured her with a squeeze.
Amity pressed her smile into Luz's neck and squeezed her back.
Once Amity was thoroughly reassured Luz pulled back and grinned at her.
"She can't wait to meet you!"
"Meet me?!" Amity squeaked.
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whimsywit · 4 years
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HAI BABES-
I'm immediately going to jump in cause hehe I'm a sucker for matchups.
Can I have a Truffle for Fairy tail (male) please?
Appearance and style:
I'm a female, 5'1ft and 110lbs (154 cm and 50 - 52Kg). I have short black hair and dark brown eyes. I'm also baby faced which can be annoying at times. I'm slight on the chubby side as well but a lot of people tell me I have an avarage body. My body type is rectangle. I'm in between pale and light brown skinned and my skin is littered with moles and scars. I'm a pure Filipino and I have prescription glasses but I can see fine without them. I've often been called a "soft girl" but I really don't have a certain styles. My clothes are often t-shirts, off-shoulders, (of multiple color and style) and any type jeans. But skinny jeans are my favorite! Hoodies and jackets are a must in winter season. Cause my skin is quite temperature sensitive.
Personality:
I'm often described as a chaotic motherly type of person. But really, it depends per person. I love to tease others but it's not often. And I won't tease them if they are sensitive or short tempered. I can be loud and obnoxious at times but I prefer to stay quiet. But with people I'm very close with, I'm just naturally loud. I can also be such a flirt if I wanted too but I only reserve those skills when needed. It's kinda rusty now but I think I still got it! My patience is very long and I don't get annoyed easily. Though push the right buttons, it won't be pretty.
Affection, teasing, and words are my love language. I tend to get just a tad bit grumpy when I don't get affection. I'm a really observant person, so I'm able to pick up emotional cues, habits, and body language. Though it's does take me a while to get the hang of it. I use that to check on people I care about. I try to act tough and strong so I would be a role model, since I'm the oldest child. I also tend to suppress my emotions and even fake them just so no one would be burden of me. I do share them if I trust you enough. I have the habit of subconsciously changing how I act depending on the people I'm with. I can changed from tye baby of the group to the mature mother to the trouble maker and to the quiet child. It usually depends with the group of people I hang out with.
Flaws and strengths:
I can be really insecure and really clingy. My insecurities are usually my body and my abilities. Not only that, I can also be moody, especially on that time of the month. I overthink things a lot. I sometimes even wonder if my friends actually are my friends or they are just tolerating/pity me. Some say I have trust issues (but honestly I don't think I have trust issues I just overthink things). I'm not afraid of material things or the supernatural. I'm afraid of being judged and left alone or abandoned. I also have a slight fear of falling, both literally and metaphorically. I hate the feeling the loneliness.
But I do give good advice, that's what alot of people tell me. My optimism and energy almost always lifts the mood up. I'm great with talking to people. May it be comforting them, persuading, I can do that. I'm also quite good at reading people. Especially if they are close to me and I've been through things alot with them.
Significant other:
Whenever I like someone, it usually ain't obvious to anyone else, since I'm known to be clingy. But, I would be in TOTAL denial of my own feelings and theirs. It takes me about a month or so to realize my feelings WITH help. My closest friend always has to tell me that I like the guy before I would actually realize it for myself. However, towards them, it seems as if I'm normal. But whenever they are gone, my fan girl self comes out and I'll squeal.
In terms of WHAT I want in a significant other. One of the things that is needed is that they don't mind me being clingy. They should also be willing to put up with me in general. As I can be moody and an overthinker, they just have to be able to either deal or tolerate it. However, in terms of their personality, I don't really mind how they would act. As long as they are morally good. Possessive? Sure just don't go over board. Protective? Same as the last one, no over board. I know that relationships aren't perfect so whatever flaws they have. I don't care. Being mean for no reason, not open minded, inconsiderate all the time, are an immediate turn off though.
Random facts:
I usually listen to pop or ballad but I like almostvall types of music. Songs like IDK you yet by Alexander23 or This is gospel by Panic at the disco are some of my favorite. My star sign is Cancer but I don't really believe it but I love learning about it. I'm an INFP-T (The dreamer) and my Hogwarts house is Ravenclaw! I love learning and doing new things. Science is my favorite subject, specifically Biology/Zoology. I sing and write stories as a hobby.
Thanks! 💕💕 If you need any info please don't hesitate to ask me :DD
HAIIII TYSM okay so this one took a bit of thought since you could work well with a lot of people! But I eventually decided you’d mesh best with...
Natsu Dragneel!
«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»
Yep, the big fireball of power himself :D but really he’s the opposite of intimidating, and ngl you’re gonna have to end up playing mother to him a lot, but when you’re in your loud and chaotic moods you’re the b a n e of the whole guild and an unstoppable force of mischief!
Some of the things that’ll put you on his radar are your optimism and your ability to act strong even when you’re struggling, both of which he’d deeply admire, but he also thinks all your little marks are cool as hell! He calls them your own personal dragon scales >:D
You want someone with good morals? This slayers got the strongest moral compass around. Able to handle your clinginess? He’s already super affectionate maybe to the point of forgetting personal space is a thing so there’s no worry there! Plus he’s got his own temper, so he wouldn’t judge you for being moody, and though he might come off as close-minded sometimes, he’s really just hard-headed. Once you explain something to him he’s on board with anything and everything!
Though, with you being oblivious when it comes to love and him being oblivious..... period, it’d take a while for your relationship to start up, and likely some extra intervention from your friends too. But once y’all are together, trust, you’re practically inseparable.
Natsu thinks you’re the cutest thing around, yea he’d have a bad habit of teasing you for your size, but he’d make up for it with his constant blind protectiveness, and the way he’d pick you up and carry you around all the time uwu. It’s actually a really good balance, since you overthink and he doesn’t think enough (have fun with the braincell custody), but he simplifies things for you so you don’t get too caught up in your doubts, and you make him more conscious of others by example. (also just.... you getting cold in the winter and him warming you up or EVEN WRAPPING HIS SCARF AROUND YOU gosh... good stuff sorcerer weekly eats yalls shit up)
Honestly it’s a bit of an odd pair with you two being so different, but Natsu’s always going to support you, whether it’s relieving you of your insecurities or helping you with your science stuff whenever he can (he won’t get it but boy will he help)! And one thing’s for sure, his loyalty is like no other, so you never have to worry about him leaving you alone.
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felishaaa · 5 years
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story time; SEP
Hi y'all it's story tiiiime.
It was started 6 months ago when my cousin invited me to join this event. I didnt know about SEP whatsoever which to me- kind of surprising once I found out what the event was all about.
SEP; Sekolah Evangelisasi Pribadi, is a private evangelization school which was found by Pastor L. Sugiri van den Heuvel SJ back in 1988. Long story short, I attended this event and there we talked about a lot of catholic stuffs and christianity. It helped me much to grow and learn myself better spiritually. I can see myself developing in the process of the whole event, I am now calmer and happier than I can ever be. I am much more of a grateful person. I also learned a lot about having faith not only in Christ but also myself.
Honestly, the first time I came to the class I was feeling insecure cuz I didn't have friends at all, I know no one there. And everytime my cousin picked me up for the classes I just didnt wanna go but I forced myself to go cuz I didnt wanna disappoint her. I kept thinking that it was a waste of time. I have to come on Wednesdays and Thursdays just sign a paper of students presence. I could've spent my time on more youtube videos or twitter.
But after the a month and two, I started to make friends with a lot of people and surprisingly they were like v v cool and fun people which is great. I started enjoying every single classes I attend. I didn't even recall the days when my lazy a** self wanting to just stay home and eat chips. I feel like I have a brand new fam and they're all lit. I never ever ever regret the time I've spent cuz bruh I spent it w my fammmmm.
Edit:
✨ here's an appreciation post for all the people above✨
Cik Nindy (the girl in the 1st pic)
SHE👏🏻 IS👏🏻 A👏🏻 MOM👏🏻. She's a sister. She's a friend. She can be everything to me basically. She's just as random and weird as me. Yes, she is. We're like sisters. I'm grateful for knowing her. She is my life saver everytime my mom was too busy to give me a ride to Shekinah (the place where all the classes are held). She's the kindest and also the craziest.
Ko Goldi (the guy in the 2nd pic)
It's my brain he got in his head. We have a bunch of similar ideas of jokes. We can literally tell the same joke at the same time and that's super weird but also kinda amazing. I mean we'll always have each other to laugh at each other's joke. LMAO
Ko Hanunk (the guy w the baloon)
OK so this guy is my brother for real. He acts like a brother to me more than my brother does. He sucks at times but he is the wisest, smartest, yet the craziest. We shared a lot of thoughts on basically everything. He's got this beautiful gf which acts as craycray as him lol. Music? We got the same tasteeee ayeeeeee. 🔥🔥
Cik Benita (the girl in the 4th pic)
She's married. That's it. JK LOL. She is the most straightforward person I've ever met. She speaks her mind. She is the BOSS. Yes, she is. And you can't complain. She can be really cute yet she can be as cold as the north pole I swear. She's fun tho.
Ko Risal (the guy in the last pic)
He's Cik Nindy's bf haha lovebirds haha. Cinlok gitu. He's my ride ehe. He's so kind and so fun to be around. But he can be really suck sometimes. And just like Ko Hanung, his closest buddy, he's the smartest at life and the wisest. He buys me a lot of dinners lol thanks for that k Ko I really appreciate it.
So yeah, that's that. I'm very thankful for them all. And hoepfully we'll stay in touch and be together as a fam forever. Love y'all!
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bootisimo · 7 years
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I absolutely can not figure out how to do a read more on here & I've had too many drugs not to post so I'm so sorry
Honestly.....thank god I started drinking & doing drugs before college for many reasons: a) I've made some rlly close friends through it which sounds bad but my actual best friend, who supports me so much & who I'm always thinking abt & trying to support, I met earlier this year by getting stoned & drunk together b) since I'm staying in town next year I'll already know who to buy from bc those aforementioned friends have taught me how to buy drugs safely & given me good contacts c) I already had my "this is my third time being drunk so I can handle it oops I spent the night vomiting" moments so I don't need to worry abt not knowing my limits at some party d) the reason I'm making this post: ive discovered that the best outcome for me is when I only take a few shots in a night & just smoke some weed bc otherwise my stomach is delicate af & throws a fit, & a couple shots + a blunt rolling around is the perfect level of fucked for me e) I won't feel like I need to prove myself to people I don't know when we drink bc I'm not insecure abt being inexperienced, which I absolutely would be if I was going in without my experience f) it's the reason I tried adderall which helped me figure out that I probably have undiagnosed ADHD & helped me start the conversation with my doctor abt it, like even if a diagnosis & prescription are a long way down the road & too expensive rn then at least I know that it's probably the reason I have trouble with homework & that a script is something I want to pursue (((note: I'm absolutely anti self-dx, I'm not saying I for sure have ADHD, & the only reason I say I probably do with this much certainty is because my licensed psychologist told me that she is pretty convinced I have it, PLUS I have an identical twin who also exhibits all the symptoms & that's a big part of the reason my doc is convinced, since ADHD is so highly genetic))) g?? Fuck I don't remember what letter I'm on I'm buzzed & happy) senior year has been a shitty shitty ball of stress & learning to (kinda) party has made me need to be more thoughtful & responsible (bc if I don't go out I generally don't do my work @ all, but if I'm do then it gives me a timeline of "ok tonight you're drinking so that means you have to start your homework before you leave, or even bc I need to have my shit together to keep my parents from knowing something's up, it's just made me more aware of my actions), plus it's just been really good for my confidence & helped me feel like I'm not so clueless about the world anymore, which I always used to be incredibly insecure abt Anyway yea there's probably more reasons but I cannot sort them out rn & all I want to say is even tho I left my senior prom early & drank with friends instead of staying, I did it to support a friend who was having a hard night, I did it because I was bored at prom anyway & wanted to save another friend from having to drive me after, and I did it knowing that I would be happy where I ended up, and I was right: I spent the first half of the night with half of my closest friends/my family, and the second half with the rest of my closest friends. I couldn't have planned it out better tbh I wouldn't change a thing
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