#like damn i'd never realized at the time how much this man's life SUCKS | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fic-heaven · 6 months ago

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Feed me some gore

Yes ma'am

Duty's Price

2. John Price

⚠️GORE⚠️/ unedited/ heavy angst/ no happy ending/ assassination/ panic attack/ stillborn/ pregnancy/ break-up/ open ending.

🐥Part 2 of the Gorey shorts I said I'd do! This time featuring Price.

Part 1

-You couldn't expect everything to go right, to make the captain fall in love with you when you were just a tool for him to put his sexual desires at ease. It's only when you are gone that he realizes how much you truly meant to him and the future he lost with you when he kicked you out of the force.

Your last words to Price: "I'm pregnant... You can't do this to me, John."

Price is a very sharp captain. His abilities have never failed him, and you were not going to change that.

You two spent a year having casual sex. He can't remember well how it all started, that's how little he cared. After all, it shouldn't even have happened in the first place, he was you captain and you were one of his most trusted Sargeants. His right hand after Ghost.

But a few weeks back, you begun crossing boundaries you were strictly forbidden from crossing. John called you ungrateful and greedy because it was already very grave that you two were fucking in the first place and he was letting it slide, but now you were thriving for more. Often acting jealous when he shared a few heated looks with the nurses at the base or some gal at a bar, being all clingy whenever you two were out of sight along other things. Price told you he wasn't ready, he couldn't commit to anyone when his work required his full attention.

"But If I had the time, i wouldn't dedicate it to you, (Y/n)." That was your breaking point. That single line seemed to punch the words out of your mouth, so John kept talking to fill the silence.

If you could go back in time, you'd tell yourself to never fall for the man who treated you like you were the most precious thing only to, in the end, claim he never loved you back.

"You are a woman, a SARGEANT, acting unprofessional like a jealous, possessive teenager." He spat making you drop your gaze to your feet like a child getting scolded after you confessed your feelings. At your stubborn silence, Price continued not knowing why he even felt like he owed you any more than a dismissal from your confession. "You can love me all ye want, but it's interfering with your work performance. As your captain I can't let this keep on, specially considering lives are literally on our hands. So you either suck it up, pretend none of this ever happen and focus on your damn job or yer out."

This last quip made your head snap back to him, teary eyes widening and wobbly lip trying to still as you formulated a response, and said response was what got Price to stand abruptly from his chair and straight up expulse you from the force with a loud roar. You couldn't be pregnant, you were just using that excuse to soften him up and warm him into staying with you.

Could you really be so selfish and greedy to try and baby-trap him?

A few weeks passed after he expulsed you. John never heard a word from you and he was grateful for it. As for the few questions the others asked about your absence, he gave vague responses and that as it is, was very weird. What could you have done for John Price to kick you out of the force so suddenly when you were the most obedient and efficient out of all the five of you?

It didn't matter. What matters now is getting the team to adapt to your absence and focus on a new threat that tormented the streets of London. After Price had killed a terrorist a few months back, he had received many death threats from the terrorist's sons. The eldest, most known as Bones due his strange passion for collecting many bones from the bodies of his victims and decorate his hideout with them, and the younger many called Reggie, a fat, greasy man whose whole purpose in life was pleasing his father and brother by doing atrocious things.

Something that Price haven't acknowledge but Soap would always warn him about, was that ever since you left the force, the captain became more careless and distracted. Your departure took a huge tool on John even if he didn't want to admit it, and the fact that you went radio silent on him, as much as he thanked you for it, made his chest feel oddly empty and aching. It was because of his state that him and Gaz got captured so easily.

He woke up with his hands bounded together on his lap and his feet chained to a pole. Looking around he situated himself inside what seemed to be an abandoned sausage factory. Gaz was wide awake when Price turned his gaze to his right side, grimacing from the terrible headache he was suffering. When the younger man took notice of his Captain's awakening, he sighed relived and tried to explain the situation. Soap and Ghost were tracking their location using Gaz's phone he managed to hide from the brothers when they were ambushed and brought here.

"It's only a matter of time, cap. We just gotta wait..."

"Not for longer, we're already here." A stranger's voice surprised them both followed by a pair of footsteps approaching their trapped forms.

The introduction was short and very stupid. Price was confident, putting his whole trust and patience on Soap and Ghost who had to arrive soon. He was disassociating, Price's exhaustion from these months of heavy work and your "break-up", if he could call it that, was getting to him. He slumped on the spot until something picked his interest.

"I hope we're not boring you, John. We've got something you might like." Bones said using his cane to poke Price's bullet wound from his left shoulder making him grunt in pain. "Something we haven't told you, Reggie and I-" the slender man smiled giving his brother a side eye. "-is that we are not here to kill your Sargeant right here as payment for our daddy's death, as you would have expected." He pointed at Gaz with his cane. "No, we already killed a Sargent of yours. We avenged our father in our own way, it is done. And although it would have been great to do it in front of you, we got... Carried away. So we might as well show you the fruits of our work."

Gaz and Price perked up at this, the thought of Soap laying dead somewhere not sitting right with them when Ghost was with him this whole time. Then... Who?

"You made us orphans. We wanted to kill someone from your family but it was so hard to track 'em we decided to pick someone closer to you." Bones explained casually approaching Price holding a strange wrapped, round object he picked from a dusty table nearby.

A shiver ran down Price's spine. Thinking the worst, he replied to Bones with an equally calm voice as if they were discussing the weather. "Y'keep babbling n' beating around the bush we'll end up falling asleep before dropping dead, son." He licked his canines before lazily inspecting the dark cloth covering what the tall killer was holding.

"You're right. I'm usually pretty straightforward. I guess we have been waiting to have you here for so long I'm getting carried away, pardon my... Babbling." A chilly smile crossed Bones' face, his brother crackled urging him to show Price "the surprise".

Gaz was quiet through all this, he was young, intimidated by their capturers and surely blaming himself. He wasn't experienced like Price who had lived through so many assassination attempts and captures he didn't loose his cool even when he felt dread at the mention of one of his Sargeants being killed. He was hoping, no, praying, that they got the wrong person. But his worst fear materialized before him when Reggie rushed closer with heavy steps to take the cloth off of what his brother was holding as if presenting a trophy.

Your head appeared in between Bones' disgusting hands. Eyes lost, hair messy and cut short by the neck where they had chopped your head off. They did a messy work, as Bones said, probably driven by the excitement and lust for the kill, your jaw was seemingly broken and it hanged limply, your wide mouth showed broken teeth and a cut tongue, clear proof that you tried to fight back.

The smell was worse. It was the smell what hit his senses first, a smell of rot so strong it made the old captain almost puke on the spot. He managed to hold in his puke but his bladder emptied wetting his cargo pants, lucky him none of the men noticed thanks to the color of the cloth, it snapped him back to reality when Bones shoved your head closer to Price's head grabbing you by the hair. Price looked away, in shock, fear and disgust. This was not supposed to happen.

''Why don't you kiss her, captain? Don't you love your little whore? We cut her tongue, her lips are still intact."

To say Price was mortified was an understatement. His eyes, normally half-lid, were so wide they could have popped out of his skull. His bounded hands were violently shaking on his lap, wetting them with his urine.

"Captain-" Garrick cried, his voice wavering.

"Shut your mouth." Bones growled before snapping back to John "Kiss her, Price." He ordered the shock-struck captain whose wide eyes begun watering down a river of silent tears.

"She cried for you, you know. You should have seen her, a sweet thing whailing for her captain to come save her. Got me all hard every time I saw her cry like that." The cruel man informed shaking your head side to side as if you were some short of new keychain he had gained at a fair.

"Bet I did you a favor." He suddenly said, and Price lifted his wet gaze to the killer silently waiting for him to elaborate as the only sounds coming from his mouth were short wet gasps. "I doubt a man so bounded to his duties like you would have liked to settle and have a family so soon. Specially with a Sargeant as pathetic as this one."

Price's eyebrows knit in confusion. He was really fooling himself, as if he didn't understand what this monster meant. But it only lasted a few seconds before he collapsed letting his whole weight fall to the ground with a thump followed by a loud gasp, his breathing getting quicker and raspier. He was having a panic attack.

You died alone, in distraught, desperate to be back to him and worst of all, pregnant. You weren't lying. You never were.

"Reggie saw her clutching her stomach after a few beatings so I gutted her like a fish. That's how I know, if you are wondering." He chuckled. "Lil babe was so uncooked it looked like a small bean, but it was unmistakable. Congratulations!"

Kyle shakes his head violently in denial feeling his Captain's sorrow, just as unable to mouth any word out of the shock of this whole situation. Both men could only whimper and babble like small babes.

"I think it was a girl, but then again it was too small... Right Reggie?" He went on to ask his brother who was standing next to a bounded panicking Gaz with the biggest grins. "I can't recall. Uuhh... Hold up."

The redhead pulled out a jar from his coat's pocket. A fucking pickle jar. And Price's eyes followed the motion as if he was pulling a gun ready to shoot him the final killing blow. The jar was bloody on the bottom, a very small bundle of red meat was inside, it looked squashed as if someone had carelessly stuffed it inside and shook it.

Reggie crouched to John's squirming and heaving body lifting his head by the hair and showing him the glass jar. Price's face was a wet mess, sweat, tears, snot and spit bathed his skin and made it hard for him to focus his stare. His blue eyes managed to pick the very small meaty figure of what had to be your biggest gift to him. There, laying on a jar and small like a tadpole, laid a fetus only a few weeks old.

"What do you say, Cap? See any lil dick or kitty in there?" Reggie asked cruelly, Price let out a cry so uncharacteristic it didn't sound like it belonged to him at all, Reggie took it as a very acceptable answer "Nah, it's too soon to tell. Ah well I'll let it to your imagination."

The violent spams and squirms from John's tied body made Reggie step back as the captain let out animalistic sounds trying to headbutt the killer. At the sudden jerk from Reggie, the jar dropped to the ground crashing into a million tiny pieces, the small fetus lay squashed on the stoney ground. The sight caused Price to fall down again with a sob, his cheek pressed to the floor digging some small cristal shards on his skin. His head fell a few inches away from the fetus, his mind was a storm, running a mile per minute, the normal serious facade he had to put on every mission was amiss leaving instead a man crying loudly, whailing out in pain, both emotional and soon physical, John's body burned, the stress and grief striking him so fatally it left the other three men speechless at the sight of true, raw agony. For the brothers it was poetic, for Gaz it was such a traumatic scene it'll haunt him until the day he dies.

Kyle was shaking, he couldn't do much other than watch as his captain laid on the ground crying with your head and babe a few inches from him as he made sounds Gaz had never heard coming from anyone, much less his normally stoic captain.

During that, Price's screams and cries were so loud he couldn't hear a word from any of the others, his senses dulled in a mist of stress and panic. It didn't take more than three minutes for him to completely black out, his heart and brain almost giving out at such levels of stress and grief. Gaz thought he had a heart attack, wouldn't shy away from confirming that he HOPED his captain died of a cardiac arrest just so his suffering would have ended right then and there.

But after getting rescued by Soap and Ghost and taken to the hospital, a nurse confirmed John had a severe panic attack. A warning sign that his years of service were numbered.

This whole ordeal ended up with the unit capturing the brothers and recovering your body. You didn't have a family, so it was the 141 who celebrated your departure from life and gave you the final goodbye. John made sure to cremate your child with you as well. A day after, he'd be on his office with an urn belonging to his nameless child and his lover who he never appreciated until your passing.

And it was with deep emptiness within his soul that captain John Price left the base, never to be found again.

#call of duty modern warfare #cod #john price x reader #price x reader #captain john price #cw: gore #john price #price angst #angst

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irkimatsu · 7 months ago

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Rewatching Hazbin and I got to episode 6 and Husk’s line “I’ll admit consent is a good name for a sex club.” Words can not describe how happy that line made me. I love a man who values consent! :D

I noticed this in Loser, Baby as well! Husk always waits for Angel before doing anything. Example: Husk waiting for Angel to take his hand before dancing with him and encouraging others to let their walls down. You know for someone who is normally grumpy and standoffish Husk is really just a wholesome old man. (If you ignore his time as an Overlord that is.)

Husk is Consent King and we all love that for him. <3 Not even just from a sexual standpoint, Husk knows damn well what it's like to have little control over your actions. "Do you think I'd be here listening to you guys bitch and moan all the time if Alastor wasn't forcing me?" He's been spending the past who-knows-how-long bowing to Alastor's whim, and then he spends the first half of the season with Angel constantly getting in his space. The man absolutely knows that having your boundaries broken is fucking awful, so why the hell would he do it to other people? It's also why he understands Angel's plight so well; having an Overlord literally control you for their own benefit fucking sucks, he's not going to do that to Angel in any way, not even by forcing him to do something as minor as dance. Bodily autonomy, baby.

...which I do think sounds at odds with Husk as the type of man who would gamble people away as an Overlord, which further makes me wonder if his current emphasis on consent is a way of making up for some shit he might have done back then. I don't think Husk was the worst Overlord ever; even at his most selfish he'd still strangle Valentino if he could get away with it, and anyone who tries shit like drugging drinks in his casino will be beaten to a pulp and banned for life; but still, maybe a few mind games to get people to act in his favor, some strong whiskey to convince a business partner to make a deal that benefits Husk far more than the partner... you have to play some ruthless games to stay on top in an environment like Hell, I imagine. Too much power can turn people into something they never wanted to be...

But those days are over, and Husk realizes what he's done. He's gotten better. Getting better is the whole theme of the show, after all. I'm really looking forward to seeing how far he's already come and how far he'll continue to go.

Love my Consent King. <3

#irk blubbers about nothing #irk huskposts #irk got asked a thing #fluffycinnamon1

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slushi-chan · 8 months ago

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YOU GET IT

I get so pissed and annoyed with this fandom drawing art of Bo hating Vincent and being cruel as adults! Could I see Bo resentful or cruel at a young age towards his twin? Yeah, of course! But for near 20 years all they have is each other in a damn near toxic co dependent unhealthy way because of their shitty parents

BO WAS BLEEDING EVERYWHERE AND VOMITING IN THE SINK WITH AN ARROW IN HIM AND TWO VICTIMS ESCAPED ON THE RUN AND COULD ESCAPE FOR GOOD FOR ALL THEY KNEW AND VINCENT AS HEAD STRONG AS HIS TWIN WENT LOOKING FOR VICTIMS ALONE WHEN BO NEEDED HIM AS A TEAM

I'd be fucking pissed too!!!

And Bo STILL in that moment felt guilty for calling his brother a freak just to hurt him and tried complimenting and reassuring him.

Trust me, I am not good with forgiving ppl that can't apologize bc I personally suck up my pride and do it if I care but then again Bo goes out of his way to talk to Vince right away when my sister would've called me every name in the book, we would've argued and left without a word

And this man that suffered so much trauma and so much hate at such a young age STILL has a soft spot for his twin and STILL tries in his own fucked up way right away to make amends for snapping at him

I'm sorry, yes, Bo is shitty. He's a rapist, sadist, murderer, toxic, manipulative, controlling.

But I physically cannot see fanart of Bo abusing Vincent cruelly bc idc he would never. Istg ppl just saw Bo be mean to his brother in a shitty situation and since he didn't apologize (He tried in his way) then he must be abusive to Vince too! If anything they both resent each other yet if one dies the other might as well die too

No hate to the author who will be unnamed (I don't remember their name anyways 😅) but there was one fanfic of Bo beating his 'wife' reader because another man said hi to her and he does this regularly then ties her up when they got KIDS and I cannot see it. Not for a guy saying hi that was gonna get killed anyways. Could I see Bo 'taking what's his' to mark reader sexually? Sadly yeah his boundaries with women are non existent but a WIFE? He would have to be insane with jealousy and idc I can't see someone finally loving him and putting him first over his twin for the first time ever being his punching bag. A captive reader that develops stockholm syndrome and disobeys? Yeah probably bc he doesn't 'love' them. But a wife with kids???? Uh uh. That man would seperate his domestic life and violence as much as he could just my opinion. Everyone is entitled to their own renditions and dark material but I feel the fandom makes Bo way more hateful than he is

Carly was a woman he instantly looked at as prey and was a victim he knew was dying so if he had to have fun cutting off a finger or SA her in the basement then in his warped mind why not? That imo is ttly different than his brothers or fictional kids or S/o IM JUST SAYING!!

(Sorry for the rambling I have a hard time finding others that see Bo is more than the unreliable narrorator Carly is in the film that is done so subtly and Bo IS a pos that's its easy to overlook)

Also Vincent is shown to be strong and he kills more than Bo does in the movie, he could stand up for himself but he doesn’t, because Bo isn’t abusing him, not to mention him holding Bo’s dead beaten body and cry yelling to the best of his ability, they clearly care about each other.

I feel like people see that one scene and the opening and assume Bo is angry and abusive all the time (also people can write him however they want but I feel like I see a lot of people boiling his character down to just being angry and violent and mean) and he had behavior problems as a kid but just because he did and is mean in one scene doesn’t mean that’s just how he is, people change as they get older, I had anger issues as a kid (I now realize it was probably related to my ADHD I didn’t know I had back then) I acted out when I got mad, I was violent sometimes, now as an adult I don’t act out anymore, I don’t even get as angry, there’s no reason Bo couldn’t have changed or learned to cope as he got older, even with all the shitty toxic shit as a kid, once he was older he could have worked on it himself, we don’t know but like people just assume oh he was an angry kid with behavioral issues and he yelled at Vince as an adult and don’t take in any other context from the scene and decide he’s angry and has anger issues and that’s his entire character.

Also I agree he wouldn’t treat a wife like that, man was not given love as a kid he wouldn’t risk the person who actually loves him, plus we see he clearly cares about Vince, when he tells him ‘Ma would be proud’ he’d be the same way if he fell in love with someone I think, he’d try his best to make up when he did fuck up, he’d show he cares

Is Bo a bad person, yes he very much is, he does horrible things including heavily implied SA, and he has no problem murdering people, but he’s not rotten to the core with no redeeming anything who’s only bad with no good

No one take this as you’re wrong or bad for your interpretation of Bo, if someone wants to write him like that go ahead, you do you, it’s your writing and you should do what you want, I just wish more people looked deeper into Bo’s character and thought more critically instead of just accepting Carly, a victim who only sees a small window of the Sinclair’s life and behavior, as the truth

Actually I think it was one of your posts I saw that made me see Bo this way, you were the one who converted me lol

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madwickedawesome · 2 years ago

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mischa bachinski from rtc is literally so lovely and the dichotomy of his rage and passion is my fav part of the show honestly!!! there's kind of a gap in interpretation of the "passion" part of his character and that is so interesting to me [in this essay i will...] -- amongst other things !!

dichotomies and interpretations and why i love gus halper

as u probably likely very much know, the whole point of his character is that he's a guy whose life has sucked thus far, and he believes that as a ukrainian man he should experience two emotions--rage and passion ! (hes so great)

with the rage it's like "oh he's so full of hurt and closes himself off like a wild animal because he's been surrounded by pain and loneliness and rejection for like. forever!!!" and that's so simple to understand and play bc like. who hasn't been there??? and it leads to silly stuff like autotune and the mustard seeds part of his monologue, but it also emphasizes such a core component of the human experience, anger and hurt, allowing for personalization of his character and making him super fun to play as a dude who acts all gangster bc he doesn't want ppl knowing he's so so empty and lonely.

on the contrary, the passion side of his character is .. less straightforward . i've really seen 2 big interpretations of it, and i very much prefer and have a bias towards the latter lololol !! the first one is passion in the sense of deep desire and joy, overwhelming love for the object of this emotion (this being talia) .. a lot of mischa's actors act out his monologue at the start of talia to be him so overjoyed to be in a relationship w his natalia muruska bolinska. he's so happy and just loves his fiancée so much !!!! and it's adorable !!!!!! and i think part of this is the fact that they're directly playing into the dichotomy of rage and passion. rage is anger so strong it hurts you, what is the opposite but a happiness that heals the wounds left by your fury? he's exhilarated with joy just thinking about her !!

however, my fav interpretation of his passion is vulnerability and emotion so strong you feel it through every nerve in your body. "i can't hold enough of u in my hands," sorta thing. rather than happiness, i love when mischa's actors play him to be super emotional during his monologue. his love and joy isn't the dominating emotion, he's full of yearning and is actively coming to realize that there's a very good chance that he's never going to see the love of his life. never going to meet her or hold her hands. and we hear that as he breaks more and more thoughout !! i LOVE how gus halper plays him because he makes mischa break down into tears (or at least do a very poor job of holding back) fantasizing about his wedding to talia, rather than talk excitedly. the object of his passion is breaking down the walls of his rage and filling the void of his heart with the love he hasn't gotten from the cruelty of the world, but it will never truly happen, and he's realizing he's talking about what could have been. every time gus's mischa has the time to think about her by himself (think: him at the end of tsia, between songs, his monologue, etc.) he's always so vulnerable and emotional !! plus, let's be real, he is SO dramatic and emotional (literally me) just in general LMAO

my gangsta persona is just armor to conceal that i am naked child wandering through the wilderness, holding in my hands my wounded, fragile heart!!

adding on, another aspect of this vulnerability that i adore is the different ways in which it manifests and plays out. his catchphrase is the first time his walls break independently ("independently" because u could say he's pretty damn vulnerable in the opener LOL) and it can really be seen in 2 different lights. the first is more obvious; clearly it's comedic and it's to remove any status of "guy i'd be scared of" whilst simultaneously introducing his passion. however, if it is to be taken literally as his catchphrase, this opens so many doors. to whom is he saying this? and imo it can be both a thought to himself and him expressing himself to the object of his passion, talia !!

mischa is .. lonely. before the choir, who does he have on his side but his youtube subs and the hole in his heart left by his mother's absence? who does he have to talk to?? his "gangsta persona" developed upon his move to canada, upon meeting his new excuses for parents, upon realizing there was no one left for him. i think that before meeting natalia but while he was turning to rap, he would just have to talk to himself to let out these feelings (let's be real . he was too lazy for journaling). as he realized the persona was just a mask, he would begin to say his catchphrase to himself.

furthermore on him saying it to himself, it does sound weird and strange and everything because he doesn't really talk like that ! But! mischa is capable of being so eloquent and using really poetic speech to describe stuff throughout the show, why wouldn't this kind of expression come into play when he's at his loneliest? who is he afraid of judging him ? think of his words to noel during the birthday scene. he uses the phrase "moving poignance" as he's more open with noel ! he is so capable of talking to himself with metaphorical comparison !!!!!

to elaborate on the idea of him only also saying his catchphrase to talia, we have to return to the concept of talia being the object of his passion [i use that phrase a lot. my bad LMOA]. remember that talia is the stars in his sky, the fire warming his heart, the blanket of safety surrounding him upon years of cold cruelty. once he has her, he doesn't have to express himself on his own !! u have to keep in mind that before death, talia was the only person mischa felt really safe around. comedic effect aside, i do love to believe that that was his actual catchphrase and he used it regularly in his life. i also love mischa bachinski

all done!!!

i love the dichotomies and nuances of his character so much, especially in his two songs with one being a banger and the other being so beautiful it gives me chills (despite gus's mic being SO quiet😭)!! mischa bachinski is such a sweet and dorky character and these are just small thoughts i have abt him -- i'm deeply in love with and believe me i could go on and on and on !! but thank u for reading if u did :] !

#the mischessay #WHAAAAAT HES MISCHAPOSTING AGAIN??!!!!!#this is me adding onto a thing i wrote in my mutuals askbox #so if it looks vaguely familiar thats why #muhuhuhuhuuuu #mischa bachinski #rtc #ride the cyclone #why is juno always talking about this weird rapper guy

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noiwontsaythatabouthim · 9 months ago

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Hi, op here, some stuff happened recently.

One, I don't think I was TA, personally. Seems most of you don't think that either. I do feel bad, now, for not handling it better, though.

I texted K again later and said I was sorry for telling her that in front of everybody and then storming out. I probably should have just put my foot down harder on my refusal and told her privately how much it upset me. I also told her, like how most of y'all told me, that her whole men suck routine was really invalidating as a trans man, and that either she Included me in all men or didn't, a real damned if you do damned if you don't sort of situation.

She thanked me for apologizing and apologized herself for the men comment. She said she honestly wasn't thinking about it when she said it but she'd try to be more sensitive. She also said she'd found out that her most recent boyfriend was married with kids sooo. She was kinda down in the dumps about men and dating and whatnot.

As for bigger updates... L broke it off with her fiance after our brunch!! She realized he wasn't doing anything and just absolutely oozing weaponized incompetence. So after a big blowout where she said either grow up or I'm gone, he chose to stay a giant man baby. You know, I never liked him much. She's angry and heartbroken, but she's like, gorgeous, smart, and insanely sweet. She'll realize that he was an absolute nothingburger of a man soon and move on easily.

Anyway, seems like a lot of y'all have nice things to say about my husband, so I'm gonna tell you what happened when I came out to him because I'll tell as many people who will listen how perfect he is.

So for the past two years before I came out, almost our whole married life, we had been having difficulty. I'd realized I was a man shortly before he proposed to me, and I thought I would just bottle it up and keep it down for the rest of my life. Turns out that's hard.

Like I said, difficulty. We were rarely affectionate with one another, almost never made love, and when we did, it was so unenjoyable that usually I pretended to finish and he said he was fine without finishing. It wasn't healthy for either of us. I kept feeling like I was dragging him down with how mopey I was around him, so around 5 years ago I decided to just bite the bullet and come out. I had already been visiting with a gender therapist behind his back and had the go ahead from both them and my endocrinologist to start T. I felt very guilty about that at the time, doing it behind his back.

I took him into the bedroom to talk and ended up just sobbing into his shirt for 30 minutes before timidly muttering "baby, I think I'm a man. I wanna be a man."

He laughed so loudly it made me jump and then cried out "thank GOD" as he hugged me. He told me that he was a second away from coming out himself and that he thought he'd have to divorce me. He was so relieved, I don't think I've ever seen him that happy. He promised to be with me every step of the way, and he was.

He was there to kiss me when I changed my name. He held my hand as I got my first T shot. He was the first thing I saw when I woke up from both top surgery and my sterilization procedure. He bitched at the social security office because it was all bullshit, he got in long, annoying phone calls with the bank. He renewed his vows with me last year in front of all our friends and family. He's the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night. I would do anything for him. I love him so much.

Sorry, I know I'm gushing, this isn't what the blog's for, but I just... need you all to understand that when K asked me to shittalk my husband, how impossible that felt. How cruel it felt. And I also want any other trans folks reading this to know that you can find your person, you don't have to give up on love. Someone out there is gonna love you, they're gonna think you're so fucking hot, they're gonna bend over backwards to make you happy. And you deserve it, too.

Sorry about the rambling. Hope all yall have a good day.

AITA for not complaining about my sex/love life?

A bit nsfw. I'll try to keep it vague.

So I (31FTM) came out and transitioned about 5 years ago. My husband (34, cis M) and I were married beforehand. He was extremely relieved, as he had realized he was gay and didn't know how to tell me. It's like a fairy tale if Disney thought we were marketable 💜 just a bit of context to what happened next.

I have a group of friends, straight cis women my age, who knew me pretransition. They were relatively supportive, minus a few confused questions and a couple of comments early on about how hard it was to remember my name.

I was out to brunch with 3 of them (K, S, L, all early 30s/late 20s). L is engaged, S recently got serious with a guy, and K is perpetually single.

We were all chatting and eventually got on the topic of romance. S was complaining that her boyfriend never did the dishes. L laughed and said she had to essentially train her fiance to do certain household chores. K piped up with some sort of "men are the worst" comment, which I just sort of ignored, until she turned to me and said "So what gets on your nerves about YOUR husband, OP?"

I shrugged and said that sometimes he leaves his socks on the floor, but that's about it. K rolled her eyes and said there had to be SOMETHING that pissed me off about him, like "he's bad in bed or doesn't listen to you." I snapped a little and told her that no, actually, I don't care what you say about your partners but mine is actually really great, and I love him. He's great in bed, he's very caring and passionate, he listens to me all the time, and I won't be convinced to shittalk him.

It got quiet and I just decided to leave cash for my part of the bill and leave. I went home to snuggle into my husband's arms on the couch and tell him what happened. He just laughed and said I could shittalk him if I wanted. I don't think he really got why I was so upset.

That afternoon, K texted me and said I really embarrassed her in front of everyone and wanted me to apologize for what I said. I refused and told her that I wasn't gonna apologize because she assumed I didn't like my husband and I corrected her. She called me a bitch and went radio silent. I texted S and L and asked them if they were okay, no response yet.

My husband thinks I should just apologize, but I don't want to say sorry for refusing to talk badly about someone who supported me during one of the hardest times of my life, even if he'd be fine with it. It just makes me feel wrong.

AITA?

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flydotnet · 1 year ago

Text

Can't Have Shit in Okinawa

WHUMPTOBER 2023, DAY 8: “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” Overcrowded ER | Outnumbered | “It’s all for nothing.”

I didn't go into this Whumptober expecting to write so much comedy or comedy-adjacent entries, but oh well, may as well embrace it now.

I took the ER prompt because all of the others sounded too… hardcore for me, I guess? I'm way too damn soft. Even then, I decided I may as well make it humorous. Not sure I'm into the spirit of Whumptober this year.

I only recently realized that I had never written anything KojiMaki in my entire life… which is weird, since would you ask me, I'd tell you they're the best romantic character dynamic in all of CT. Yeah, I know, the bar is cosmically low, but it's true, right? Good parallels, actual chemistry, agressive support… it's got it all. WY really fed us well, man. They're not my fav ship (as my stupidly high number of MatsuYoshi fics will happily demonstrate for me), but they're the best written one imho.

------------------------------

Can't Have Shit in Okinawa

Summary: It's not because your date has ended in the ER that you can't bicker about it with your partner!

Fandom: Captain Tsubasa

Word Count: 1K words

AO3 version available here.

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It’s not where their date was supposed to end; but sometimes, you simply don’t have control over what happens. Sometimes, a last-minute idea from your partner brings you a good surprise! And at others, they get hurt and you end up in a spot that’s not quite as fun.

Or, like, the complete opposite of fun.

“I thought the emergency room was meant for that. Emergencies.”

She’s lost count of how many times her boyfriend has sighed since they’ve arrived here.

“It’s meant to be, at least. You’ve never been in one before?”

He stares back at her, very much unamused.

“I was unconscious the only time I did, how was I s’pposed to know they sucked ass?!”

“It’s a well-known phenomenon! I didn’t think I’d have to explain that to you!”

“Maybe you should’ve asked before, then!”

“Where else was I going to bring you anyway?”

“I dunno, just a regular doctor would’ve been fine!”

“You were bleeding buckets, you idiot!”

“Yeah, and?”

“Well I wasn’t gonna fix that myself, now, was I?”

“You could’ve, I dunno, tried!”

“I’m no doctor!”

“It’s just a damn scrape, Maki! No need to worry so much about it!”

“It’s a bleeding gash the depth of a ping-pong ball, Kojiro!”

“That’s the weirdest comparison I’ve ever heard.” He looks around. “Oh fuck, they’re all staring at us.”

“Gee, I wonder why.”

Don’t get her wrong, she loves him to bits, but her boyfriend is the loudest person on Earth. Oh, and also, he’s a world-famous soccer player. As in, “outstanding name in a list of outstanding names” famous. The guy is a world champion and stuff. That may not help much, in their case, because it did not grant them a priority queue, and also, people do stare at them. A lot.

The ER, as the legend foretold, is cramped and overcrowded. There are people who are here for all sorts of stuff, from terrifying bug bites the size of a softball glove to what Maki can only assume to be people who should’ve just to their local pharmacy. There’s always at least one of those and they will always get called before you, the legend also says.

Among the things Maki has in common with her boyfriend, one of them is a natural knack for impatience. She hates standing in one spot and waiting for things to happen. Powerlessness is an annoyance at best and a deep-rooted phobia at worst. Right now, luckily, it’s just a lot of annoyance at things being horrible, frigidly slow.

In short: the ER, with its awfully slow pace and dozens of people screaming, crying or even chatting very loudly on their phones, is stuff of nightmares for her. If she was here all on her own, a part or her would be terrified, yes – on the other hand, she happens to be here with someone else, who barely seems to care that they have to be there waiting on uncomfortable plastic chairs to begin with.

She glances back at Kojiro. He seems mildly bothered by everything around him, the now rust-coloured towel still on his thigh. Occasionally, he takes a sharp inhale mostly through his right nostril and looks even more mildly bothered. People are still staring at him.

“That stupid thing’s stopped bleeding anyway,” he says as he leans back. “Can we go back to your place, now? Fuck this ER shit, I can do a zig-zag stitch too.”

A mother with her snot-filled kid is glaring at him, her face oh so offended.

“You’re not for real, right?”

He now actually looks displeased.

“What? Do I look so, I dunno, like a brute that I can’t sew?”

“That’s not what I said! I’m just sayin’, you’re no doctor, so don’t stitch your own wounds close!”

Kojiro responds to that by getting his phone out.

“Eh, whatever. There’s probably a tutorial for that on YouTube.”

Maki can only gawk at him. That guy is considered the cream of the crop in his category but man can he be awfully stupid. She loves him for all of his highs and lows, but he’s really dense as a brick when he wants to. Also, for all of his ranting about his friends from the national team being self-sacrificing idiots, he has the tendencies as well.

Actually, come to think of it… Maybe if she tips the scales, she could make him realize how bad it’s getting. That’s what couples do, right? Communicate. They communicate so things don’t explode in a big ball of fire.

“Hey… Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah?”

The woman with the snotty kid are called. Their turn may finally come soon; which, God, not too soon. The air here is stale, cramped and overall suffocating.

“If I was gonna do the same thing to you, which is having a bleeding gash the depth of a ball and say it’s no biggie, I’m gonna stitch it myself, what would you do?”

Now, he looks downright pissed.

“Why’re you even askin’ me that? It’s damn obvious!” His shoulders rise even further. “I’m bringin’ you to the hospital no questions asked!”

“Yeah, that makes sense, right?” She pokes his chest. “So why won’t you get it through your thick skull, hmmm?”

His anger changes into surprise.

“Dammit.”

“See? Not hard to understand! I’m worried and I don’t want you hurt even further, so be a good lil’ kitty and stay put until we get called!”

“Did you just call me a kitten because of my—”

“I’ll call you a tiger again when you’re back on your feet and not profusely bleeding in my backyard!” She breathes out and tries calming down as best as she can. “I know it’s annoying, I don’t like being here either, but it’s for your own good, I swear. And, if you don’t wanna think about yourself… then think your mom would be much more reassured to know you got to see a doctor and got it stitched right!”

He scratches the back of his neck a little sheepishly.

“You’re right there, I guess.”

“I just know you, after a while!” She leans against him. “You should stop being all rough like that. You’re supposed to also lean on me when you need help.”

He leans back in the other direction, his head softly landing on top of hers.

“…Yeah.”

Eventually, a nurse comes and calls their names – finally.

#whumptober 2023 #no.8 #overcrowded er #captain tsubasa #fic #kojimaki

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convenientalias · 2 years ago

Note

now do prince yu

OH BOY

I swear, like.... I obsess over Seon-ho and MCS on an intellectual level and write fanfic about them and stuff but is there anyone that makes me go "ITS HIM, THE GUY" like Prince Yu??? I really don't know.

Some notes:

-I'm sorry I made almost all the slidey things in the middle but listen, he's... a moderate guy.

Prince Yu is great company most of the time. He's polite, even flattering. He likes to chat and give presents. But then when he's discouraged he sits around and mopes and gets drunk and I feel kind of bad for Banruo dealing with it. That said, an angry or discouraged Prince Yu is honestly still easier to deal with than pretty much anyone else in the royal family, possibly including Jingyan. Like, he'll hear you out. He enjoys the feeling of being benevolent and gracious, he likes people to like him. So yeah I'd hang with Prince Yu. Any day.

Everyone SHOULD love Prince Yu but in fact many ppl do hate him. It's just bad taste. (Yes, MCS, I'm talking to you!!!!)

See below on trauma.... he has a lot of trauma but until he gets wrecked he also has a lot of good times and less tragedy than some in canon. Until. But let's not get into that for now, I'm in denial.

Prince Yu is sometimes very smart but I also almost filled in the box for himbo bc he can also be Pretty Dumb. This is a man who needs trustworthy strategists.

He tried really hard to play by the "rules" of court to become Crown Prince but when it failed, ahaha, we see that breaking the rules is hardly anathema to him. (And yes I am calling corruption playing by the rules; this is a very corrupt court where bribery, embezzlement, etc are honestly expected.)

-All things considered his tragic backstory isn't as bad as the backstory of many on the show but you do have to consider that being a prince in this royal family sucks for everyone. Constantly fighting for power and Daddy's love, constant paranoia. And then your dad kills your brother and makes you deliver the poison (which, opinions may differ, but I don't think Prince Yu was super happy about this, even if he benefited from Prince Qi's death in the long run). There's his parentage and his Hua heritage, of course, although Prince Yu didn't know that until way late in the game (does it count as a tragic backstory if it's a secret you didn't know about? maybe if it affects your current life despite your knowledge). Not to mention how he was tragically in love with Lin Shu who never realized his affections and then died (okay, I'll shut up).

-He does not give me violent urges in the sense that I want to hurt him but thinking about him does make me want to bang my fist against a table while wailing, "HE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL, DAMN IT!!!"

PRINCE YUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

#nirvana in fire #xiao jinghuan #thanks for the ask!

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moonyslove78 · 11 months ago

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KATIE!! OMG!!

I can hardly contain myself!! When you mentioned that you had wrote 5 pages in Google Docs and you had a good start on this chapter, I didn't know how to react! My favs were back in action!

And I know I've been telling you already how damn much I loved this but it's never official for me until I ramble on and on to Tumblr about it! So here's where that comes in. Also, I'm sorry for my child's need for the laptop every single time I had the chance to type this up, so am I doing this review now instead of doing my dishes, like I should be? Yes. Do I have any regrets? ZERO! So HOOOOWWWWLS it goesssss...

(Sorry, that was super corny... 😂👀)

🐺🏹SPOILERS FOR CLM - CH5 PT1 UNDER THE CUT🏹🐺

First off, I'm going to sound like a broken record here, but idc... the amount of pride you should have in your ability to scene build is outrageous. You have literally, in the brief first 2-3 paragraphs, have transported me from my living room to the cozy brown cabin in the middle of the woods. I could fucking smell the pine, Katie! Not many I know can do this... but you do it with ease and perfection. And because of that, I could easily get sucked into anything you write... Peter Parker related, or not. 👏🏽❤️

To explain just how thankful I am that you're back and writing again, I'm gonna quote the great @liz-allyn's reblog... because I couldn't have said it any better than this. Cause it really is such a gift to have the privilege to read your work.

Aylin's little conversation where she was trying to justify her NOT being in a discriminatory cult, only to realize by her own words that that may just be what she is involved in, was such a perfect set up for the rest of this chapter. The moment she started thinking just like they'd want her to (EG: "He's a stupid, low life, disgusting werewolf." -- "Who's been nothing but kind and graceful despite her attitude towards him.")

It sets the tone for how things are going to look from here on out and how things are going to unfold.

You already got my live reaction to meeting Kedi, to which I would've never known what the name meant had you not mentioned it! And to me it makes Aylin seem even more creative than I'd originally thought!

But this part had me cracking up because it's so relatable! Star was literally doing zoomies while I was trying to fold clothes earlier and when I went to hang dry a few shirts, she decided that was the best time to climb under the upside-down laundry basket (somehow? I still say she's magic✨). And the look on her face when I removed said laundry basket so I could continue to use it was as if she was saying 'how dare you!' So needless to say, they will put themselves in the strangest of places just for the attention it gets. 🥰😂

First, I love how Aylin's got this chaotic plan of hers and is packing for a weekend stay with Peter... It's like the polar opposite of what we would've expected from her at the beginning of this story.

And second, I can't say I didn't find some irony in the werewolf's company being of the feline species 😂 But also, aweeee!!! Because how freaking adorable would it be to see Peter cuddling Kedi on the hammock while they napped together?!?!?! 🥺

I died at this little scene depiction! 😂😂 I could just see this black kitty cat running out from under a patio chair to swipe a paw at this big ass black bear who's trying to enjoy his lunch... and Kedi just glaring at him for trying to steal his food. Then the tone got super tense when I realized this wasn't that kinda scene when Kedi stayed hidden. That could only mean one of three things.

YUP! I just got nauseous myself! 🤢 This man is something else entirely when it comes to creep factor. And add in an extra side of intimidation. He thrives on it, gets off on it, he wants to make sure anyone and everyone is fearful of him and whatever his next move is. That's a cult leader, if I've ever heard of one. He may put some of the others to shame.

(side note: I mean that in no disrespect to victims of those cult leaders, I'm just saying... Katie's ability to build a character as sinister as Sergei is absolutely mind blowing. His canon character is already menacing in his own right, but this version brings a whole new meaning of the word -devious-)

I'll give Aylin mad props here for choosing the 'I got sick from undercooked meat.' excuse here. I'd have probably froze up in this instance and not known what to say or do to talk my way out of it.

But it goes to show how disgustingly manipulative Sergei really is. Feigning his 'concern' for her well-being, while at the same time using the guilt of the worry, she'd put her mom through, by not returning home like she'd should have. (by his standards of the rules) Only to try and use his intimidation factor to his advantage, to try to get her to confess her way into something. This is also where I started noticing a fairly uncomfortable, but none too surprising, pattern with him when it comes to Aylin... and it makes want to skin something off him... and it's not gonna be a werewolf pelt, that's for sure... 😠

EWW! The 'safety baiting' and essential gas lighting! 😒 He makes me wanna reach through the screen and strangle him. But I'm glad Aylin is seeing the truth behind his lies. It's disturbing the amount of extremely intentional grooming he's doing when it involves Aylin. And I cannot wait till Peter gets a load of how Sergei is with her... I feel protective werewolf vibes? 👀🙏🏼

Again with the descriptions! I'm just fucking blown away by your ability to set the tone and atmosphere of a scene so clearly. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

And ugh... it's her... 😒 If there's another person I hate as much as I do her significant other, it's Cal. (And Kateri, but that's a rant for another time) I can't seem to figure out who is worse when it comes to the Kravinoff's. So I will choose to hate them both just as much. Equality.

They really are the perfect couple. Both equally as atrocious as the other. I definitely sense some sort of jealousy stemming from Kraven's unwanted attention towards Aylin emanating from Calypso. You can absolutely guess that this is probably a topic brought up behind closed doors (not that anyone necessarily WANTS to know what's going on behind their closed doors). And he's totally giving Fatal Possession vibes here with his 'important guests tea'. 👀😣

When I say, I gasped! 😱😨

I was literally like "oh fuck no! no! nonononono!!"

I really thought for sure he'd found out something MORE about Peter. Not that this wasn't bad enough... but I was ready to hear him say he had him chained up somewhere in some dungeon torturing him or something! 😩

But much to my surprise, it was because of something a little more relatable... and something I probably should think about before doing so too, before I tell my cat about my incessant obsession with a certain web shooting super hero and someone hears me that shouldn't. 👀😂

I really wanted to punch him in the face at this point... 😡 First of all the 'boyfriend' part should be none of his business, especially if he's looking at it in the way he's making it seem. Ugh! God he gives me the creeps... And I know that I haven't even scratched the surface on how badly I'll hate him by the end of this. But like, that's your dead best friend's daughter. You watched her grow up practically. If anything, he should be looking at her as a daughter of his own. Not like he's some star crossed jealous lover who isn't getting his way, so he's gotta make a scene about it! 😒 And then he has the nerve to bring up the Leah situation... when he obviously knows he's touching on a sore spot by bringing her up. Mainly because he knows HE was the reason it was a sore spot to begin with.

And with the fact that he mentions Calypso is bi just makes the 'grooming' vibes even more prominent. It's almost as if he's giving her this info in hopes (for lack of a better term, considering I don't think this monster has hoped for anything in his entire life, he probably just takes whatever he wants, damned the consequences or effects it has on others... 👀😩) that Aylin will somehow fall into his trap and he can have the both of them at the same time.

👀🥰 I think this just makes it even more obvious that Aylin is slowly (but surely) developing feelings for our beloved werewolf. Whether she realizes it now or not, these aren't just friendly feelings... And I am totally enjoying the fact that she's being protective over him, even if she thinks it's just in a friendly manner. 😍

YES!👏🏽🙌🏽 Hallelujah! She's finally seeing the truth for herself! I was hoping it wouldn't take much longer before she realized that this was not normal by a long shot. Even for a group that hunts Lycans... This was sick and twisted. This was unhealthy for everyone involved. If the suspicious behavior towards her alone on Kraven and Calypso's parts weren't enough to show it, at least the fact that they'd shown the other signs of it being 'cult like' (aka A CULT!!) made her realize that Peter was for sure on to something. I know it usually takes an outsider's prospective to make the victim's see those unhealthy patterns, so thankfully Peter hadn't held his tongue about the vibes he was getting from them, because who knows how long Aylin would've dealt with these conditions before it actually started to hit her. Or would it have hit her ever? And if it did, would it have been too late by that time? Luckily, we don't have to wonder about that because Peter planted that seed in her brain, it just needed a little rain water and some sunlight to sprout into a full on realization.

Nope! NOPE NOPE NOPE!!! RUN AYLIN! GTFO AND RUN! NOW!! 😩😣

Now see, Aylin, here's what were not gonna do... We're not gonna blame yourself, the victim, here! We're just gonna be strong and figure out a way out of here and back to Peter... he can help you... the two of you can help each other... we're also NOT going to DRINK THAT FUCKING TEA!!!! 😱😨 Also, 😭🥺 'Lycans' and not 'Werewolves' made me super duper smiley for some reason. Like she was finally accepting that they weren't always the bad guys in this case.

I could quite literally feel Aylin's skin crawling during this whole display. It's definitely been obvious how overly public these two are when it comes to 'affection' or just outright sexual acts. But I feel like it's probably a tad bit different for Aylin when those previous times have been in the company of others in the community. But this is more of a personal type of setting. Where it's literally just the three of them there and she really has no choice in the matter but to be forced to watch Sergei fondle Cal.

It also goes to show that a person's character definitely effects how others view their attractiveness. Because, and I could be completely wrong here, I feel like this Kraven kinda would have that rugged hard ass hotness about him. But his personality makes him disgusting to even think about and the same goes for Calypso. Badass bitch, who's strong and probably built very well. But her completely hideous personality makes her just as disgusting, in my eyes, as Kraven. So I feel like this scene, if involving 2 different of people, would've had a much different reaction from the audience. These two just make it unappealing. 😩 But also, I'm totally here for the sick and twisted...soo bring it on! 👀😂

Exactly!! They're so twisted and devious! And I absolutely love to hate them for it! For these reasons in particular, as well as many MANY others!

I wanted to grab the damn cup from her the moment Calypso sat it down! It's always the most delicious smelling drinks that are the most lethal it seems! 😣 So the entire time she kept nervously drinking, I was yelling "STOP IT, DAMN IT! DON'T DRINK ANYMORE!!" And now she finally notices that she's the only one touching the stuff... 😩🤦🏼‍♀️ Oh Aylin...

😩😩😩

Noooooo! I do not think you'll be fine, Aylin... Well, hopefully you will be eventually... but right now, it's not looking too promising.

Ummmm... no... nothing ever good comes from something you've gotta hide behind a bookcase! ...Unless it's a sex dungeon, and even then, in this case that'd be a hard pass for me. 😣😨

Ughhhh!!! Not the copper smell! 😭😱 This is definitely not gonna be 'fine'! I just really hope and pray that they didn't drug her to the point that they have her giving up Peter's whereabouts! 😨 He's already been through enough with Kateri... lord knows what would happen if Kraven or Calypso were to get ahold of him... 😣 And then he'd think that Aylin gave him up willingly! Nooo... my heart can't handle it!

Katie! Omg... I'm, once again, entranced and sooooo ready for part 2!

I'm most definitely scared shitless, but I also need it in the worst possible way! 😩👀 The possibilities are practically endless as to what these two twats have planned, and I am also thinking of all the possibilities that could happen as a direct consequence to that plan! So like, I just need to know!

But I will be very patient and wait for the quality that you manage every single time. Just don't be surprised if I'm messaging you everyday, 30 times a day, ranting about how much I love you and your amazing brain! Cause its literally untouchable!

I can always count on you to write anything that just blows me away and transports me to a place I didn't even know I wanted to be! 👏🏽🙌🏽

But that's probably enough of my rambling to last you a couple years 😂 I just can't help it! So, I'll just end it with telling you how much I adore you and that I'll be patiently waiting for the next update! 💖💓

(I know this random Peter gif is probably not a great 'sign off' type of GIF 😂 but he's so fucking hot and I wanted to watch him breathing heavily for a few moments... 😳😳)

CREATURE LIKE ME || CHAPTER FIVE (part one): YOU'RE IN A CULT

[TASM Peter Parker!Werewolf AU]

Story Summary: Kraven and his guild of hunters have been tracking and quelling the werewolf population for centuries. The time has come for Aylin to complete her first solo hunt to prove herself to the guild. It was supposed to be simple. One wolf, one death, one victory. She never expected to end up with a secret hostage on her hands.

Chapter Five Warnings (spoilers): mild sexual exhibitionism (fondling an exposed breast) in front of an unwilling person, being unknowingly drugged

[link to chapter index]

The familiar scent of pine soothed her worried soul as she stepped through the threshold of her home.

Their little, brown cabin, with its sturdy fireplace of stacked, gray stones, and pine needle covered roof gave off the illusion of a safe haven. She might be back in her guild’s territory but this was her house. Her home. Here, she could find respite.

It was quiet as she stood in her cozy living room. Everything was still. By mid day, her mother would have been in the communal kitchen preparing meals for anyone who might want to stop by for a free lunch. Their guild supported their members and made sure no one would ever go hungry. They functioned as a bunch of tiny parts all moving in unison to form a single, powerful behemoth. They worked on the bartering system and the good will of their neighbors. If something was taken, something else would always need to be given.

Mrs. Harkner, down the road, gave her time to teach the children academics, in return, the children would pick the crops from her garden so her focus could be spent on lesson planning. Mr. Jacobson, at the other end of town, couldn’t aim a gun to save his life, but was an expert in construction and could fix any housing issue that arose. In return, the hunters would make sure he was always provided with fresh game and a well stocked freezer. Eight year old Christopher Lennings would sell freshly made apple juice from the apple tree in his front yard every Saturday morning and all it would cost was the coolest looking rock you could find. Everyone had a job and everyone was taken care of.

As long as they followed the rules.

Aylin had formulated a plan during her five mile hike back home. She knew she would have the house to herself at this time. If she could quickly pack her car full of gear, staying out of sight, then she could head back to Peter for the next few days. During that time, she would get every bit of information she could about Kat’s pack. When she finally returned back to the guild, she could trade that information as an apology for not completing her ritual to become a full time hunter. Trading was how their guild functioned. Information could be traded for a lighter sentencing. Sergei would be more focused on taking action against an entire pack than dealing out punishments for her defiance. She could right all the wrongs before the situation got too out of hand.

It wasn’t a perfect plan but it would have to do.

The old floorboards creaked under foot to alert the only available member of the household to her presence. Her large, sleek black cat lazily rose his head off the sofa to see who dared to disturb his nap. When he caught sight of Aylin, his ears perked up and he gracefully leapt to the floor to greet her by weaving between her legs. He gave a piercing whine, begging for attention.

“Yes, yes. I missed you, too, Kedi.” Aylin bent down to scoop him into her arms where he proceeded to be carried like a baby up the stairs to her bedroom loft. “Has mom been worried about me? Have you been looking after her?”

Kedi purred, his golden eyes squinting up at her. It was a rarity to find him inside their cabin. He preferred to be out hunting for his next meal or clawing his way up the highest tree. Finding him willingly behind walls meant that he knew something was wrong. He had probably spent the night curled up next to Nesrin. Sometimes Aylin swore that he was actually a person trapped inside the body of a cat. She imagined him to be a grumpy, old man who would yell at innocent children to get off his lawn but secretly loved the attention they gave him. He was fearless, tenacious, and a ferocious serial killer of all rodents.

A family of killers. Is that all they were?

Peter’s words from this morning still buzzed around her thoughts like an annoying gnat that refused to leave her personal space.

“We’re not in a cult, right? I’d know if I was in a cult,” she mused down at the cat in her arms.

He responded with a deep, guttural purr that vibrated his entire body.

“Sergei isn’t Jim Jones or Charles Manson. He has a reason behind what we’re doing. There’s a purpose. A meaning. We’re helping people. We’re…” She paused and gave a long sigh. “My father wouldn’t have been best friends with a cult leader. He was smarter than that. He was a good man. Peter’s wrong. He doesn’t know us, does he, Keds? He’s a stupid, low life, pathetic, disgusting werewolf. He’s-”

She stopped to listen to the words falling from her lips. No one was around to hear them and she was still holding deep prejustice for a man who had done nothing but show her kindness and grace despite her attitude.

Lycans. That’s what Peter referred to himself as. Not a werewolf. A lycan. A person with the ability to shift into a wolf.

A person. Not a monster.

Good and bad people. That’s what Peter had said. There were always good and bad people regardless where you stood in the world.

Which one was she?

Aylin carefully dropped Kedi onto her bed so she could pack a bag, trying to pull her thoughts away from Peter’s grasp and focus them back onto the task at hand. Some extra clothes, camping supplies, her crossbow, and more food would be on her list of needed items. She quickly changed out of her dress and into something more practical for forest living. She began tossing clothes out of her drawer and into the waiting duffle bag. As she turned around to pack them more neatly, she stopped to see Kedi curled up under the growing pile.

“You’re not helping, Ked. You’ll suffocate under there if I zip it up,” she smiled softly down at the stubborn cat who merely squinted back at her. He was always able to lift her mood. “Okay fine, you can stay but I’m going to keep packing around you.”

She grabbed an unopened pack of spare toothbrushes and ripped it apart. Carefully, she glanced over the colors, selecting a red and blue striped one for Peter. She felt like he would suit those colors…and he really needed to brush his teeth. It had probably been a while since he had a toothbrush of his own.

With some basic grooming items taken care of and a duffle full of spare clothes, Aylin shooed Kedi out of the way to finish her getaway bag. He followed as she made a handful of trips from the house to her car, filling the trunk with everything her and Peter might need to survive for the next few days. She slammed the full trunk closed, tucking her keys into her pocket, and put her hands on her hips. A sense of determination settled over her.

“There! We have a camping stove, some canned food, extra water…I think we should be all set for a couple days,” she spoke down to the cat waiting patiently at her feet. “If you would like to come with me, Keds, I would be more than happy to bring you. I don’t think Peter would mind the extra company.”

Kedi’s fur raised along his back, his ears flattening, and he gave a long hiss before darting to the safety of the darkness under her car.

“Wha- he’s not that bad, jeeze,” she frowned at his sudden change of attitude, wondering what had set him off, when she heard the crunching of footsteps making their way up her dirt driveway.

“Going somewhere, Aylin?” The familiar baritone voice caused her skin to erupt in goosebumps. Her heart leapt into her throat as a wave of nausea overtook her. She suddenly felt faint.

She wasn’t fast enough.

The only other time she had seen Kedi display fear like that was when a black bear broke through their screened in porch one afternoon to try and grab a bite of his cat food. Even then, he had darted back out from under the safety of a chair to claw the bear across the snout before running away again. Today, he stayed hidden.

Aylin straightened her back, attempting to fix a warm smile onto her lips, and turned around to face Sergei standing in the middle of her driveway. He was dawning his signature werewolf pelt draped over his shoulders and giving her a grin that was stretched far too thin to be anything but forced. The sight of the pelt made her sick to her stomach when she thought about the person who it once was ripped from. Barbaric. He might as well be wearing a pelt of human flesh.

Where was she going? She tried to steady her fluttering heart as a million potential answers swirled around her panicked thoughts.

“I’m planning on going to the Catskills to hike along the Devil’s Path like I do every year,” she lied, thinking quickly. With the way her trunk was currently packed, it easily resembled a hiking trip. She could fake this scenario.

“Isn’t it a little early for that?” He raised his scraggly brow at her. He was starting to get flecks of silver among his dark hair. The silver stood out more prominently against the midday sun and made him look closer than usual to his age. It was rare to catch signs of him aging. He seemed to always be in his prime despite how many years have passed. “Don’t you typically do that hike closer to the summer?”

Aylin shrugged, trying to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal, “Last summer was too hot. Thought I’d go early this year.”

“In the rainy season, I imagine parts of the hike would be really dangerous?”

She held firmly onto her bluff, knowing he was trying to break her, and kept her eyes locked with his to help sell the lie, “Sure, but isn’t that part of our training? To overcome difficult feats despite the challenges that face us? Besides, it’s not called the Devil’s Path for nothing. It’s meant to keep you on your toes. I think I could use a good challenge. ”

Sergei squinted at her with a hard glare, “Yes. About that. I think we need to have a talk about exactly what challenges are facing you. Something seemed to bother you the other night, did it not?”

She could tell from his tone that he was carefully keeping his voice steady. Under the surface, he was boiling. He wanted her to pay for the other night. There had to be consequences. Aylin had not only gone against his direct orders but, in her defiance, belittled his authority in front of the guild. If there’s one thing to never do to Sergei, it would be to embarrass him. She was now caught in an unwanted game of cat and mouse and she was terrified of losing.

She widened her eyes like it was a shock to hear that and not a conversation she had been dreading, “Oh? You mean when I ran from the ceremony? I’m so sorry about that. Really. I must have eaten something weird. Probably undercooked meat. I got really sick. I spent the night on the toilet. I had to run before I had an accident in front of everyone. You know how it is. When you gotta go, you gotta go.”

He took a step closer, a dreadful smile flicked at the corner of his lips, “Really? I stopped by your house to check on you later that night. I wanted to make sure you were okay after that shameful display you pulled in front of everyone. Your mother told me you weren’t home. Poor woman was worried sick about you. She thought you might have run off and done something stupid.” He paused, closing the gap between them. The cold metal of her car door pushed against her back as he towered over her. He propped an arm against the roof of her car to pin her in place. “Well? Did you? Do something stupid, I mean.”

Her stomach flipped with nerves as she shook her head. She was going to lose this game. The cat was ready to pounce and she had nowhere to hide, caught in place, forced to face her demise. Sergei went in for the kill, sensing he was gaining the upper hand in their silent standoff, and threw a heavy arm around her shoulders. He had her locked tightly in place against his side and gave a loud, dark laugh as if that would expel the thick tension between them. She couldn’t run. Couldn’t hide. He had her exactly where he wanted.

“Why don’t you come take a walk with me, Aylin?” He started to drag her down the driveway. “Cal made rabbit stew earlier. We can have some tea and lunch and discuss our futures. I have a proposition for you. What do you say, kid?”

Despite his question, there was no choice to be had. She was going to be coming with him even if he had to throw her over his shoulder and carry her there.

“Uh, yeah, I guess that’s okay. I should go leave a note for my mom so she knows where I’m at when she gets back…” Aylin tried to dig her heels into the dirt but got shuffled along like she weighed nothing. Any resistance would be futile. She had lost the game. The cat had caught the mouse and was now boastfully parading her squirming body down the road as he carried it proudly between his salivating jaws.

“That won’t be necessary. I’ll inform her exactly where you are should she come asking. There’s nothin’ to worry about. You’re safe with me. You know that.” The weight of his words hung over her like a rapidly approaching storm. There wasn’t a single ounce of truth behind anything he said.

It was only a matter of time before the cat clamped down, piercing her flesh with his razor sharp teeth.

The Kravinoff residence was the largest house in their town. A two story cabin with breathtaking floor to ceiling windows to let in all the natural light. The eaves of the red gabled roof were decorated with ornate wooden details. They had been handcarved by Sergei Sr. when he rebuilt the Kravinoff home many years ago before his passing; his final gift to his spoiled son.

Their kitchen was larger than the floor plan of her entire house with brightly painted, red cabinets to match the color of their roof. A pot of yellow sunflowers brightened up the room to soften the red and create an inviting atmosphere. Calypso lounged against the double wide, walnut island wearing nothing more than a skimpy, silk robe. Her dark, tight curly hair haloed around her head and she flashed Aylin her infamous, pointy toothed grin.

“Ah, the weakling has returned, I see,” she slinked over to the younger woman, standing tall in front of her. “Such a disappointment you gave the guild last night, was it not? I don’t know why Sergei holds you in such high regards. You don’t look like much to me.”

Sergei placed a possessive hand over Aylin’s shoulder, “Now, now, Cal. Enough teasing. Everyone makes mistakes. She says she wasn’t feeling well. Ate some bad meat. Happens to the best of us. Aylin is our guest and should be treated as such. She’s here for a chat over drinks. Why don’t you make us some of your special tea?” His eyes flashed into his wife, giving her a silent command. “The kind we save for our very important guests. Aylin needs to be reminded how much her community values her.”

Calypso smiled and bowed her head, “Of course, dear.”

Aylin was led into the dining room with the sounds of Calypso rustling through the cabinets following her out the door. A long, black cherry dining table, lined with tall chairs, greeted them. At the head of the table was a throne, carved out of the trunk of a tree and adorned with giant wolf claws at the end of the legs. Kraven sank down onto the pelt covered seat. He looked like a true king of his castle. He waved a large hand for her to sit in one of the normal chairs beside him.

She took a hesitant seat, having stayed quiet this whole time, terrified that speaking the wrong words would get her further into trouble. It was better to play defense with Sergei. Let him take the lead so she could match his energy.

“It’s been a while since you’ve been in our home,” he mused, lazily scratching at his beard. “You used to visit all the time with your father. I believe the last time you stepped foot inside these walls was when you were merely 16 years of age.”

After Samuel and Emir’s funeral.

Sergei had held a repast at his home after the burial service. Everyone in town had attended, each bringing a dish of food or drinks, to show their support for the fallen members. Nesrin was too busy weeping in the bathroom to know her daughter was getting wasted off some stolen liquor. Aylin had snuck away from the guests with her bottle in hand to hide in one of Segei’s guest rooms. The rest of the night was a blur but she distantly remembered him finding her tucked away in the corner behind a bed and holding her while she cried. Everything after that was dark. That entire year had been dark.

She remembered a time when she felt protected in his arms. His presence used to come with a warm safety. Now, it came with a foreboding sense of danger, like stumbling upon a sleeping rattlesnake. If she was careful enough, she might get away without a fight. If she took one wrong step, all it would take was a mere second for the snake to strike.

“Things got bad after-” She stopped. She didn’t need to say anything else.

Sergei gave a solemn nod, “Yes. I can imagine. Sam was my good friend. He was an important, valuable member of our guild. It was hard for everyone.”

He was studying her face, trying to read every micro expression she held, but she kept her features stiff. She should have left sooner. Maybe if she hadn't spent so much time doting on Kedi, she would have escaped before Sergei arrived. She wished she was already back with Peter and wondered how long he would stay in her trailer before he started to wonder if she’d ever return.

“Who’s Peter?” Sergei asked with an air of innocence, as if he had directly read her mind, but kept a close eye on how she responded. He was carefully studying her every move.

Aylin’s eyes widened in shock for only a split second before she softened her face but there was no doubt that Sergei had caught it. Had he read her mind? There was no other way he could possibly know about Peter…was there? Her stomach churned with nerves at the question but she raised her eyebrows in feigned confusion, “What do you mean?”

He shifted on his throne, leaning towards her, and placing his arm on the table, “When I came to pick you up, I heard you say ‘I don’t think Peter would mind the extra company.’ So, who’s Peter?”

That’s what she got for speaking out loud to a cat. She should have kept her mouth shut.

“He’s my friend,” she lied, thinking on her feet. “Works at the gas station a few miles out. He works nights. I’ve met him a few times and we got to talking. He enjoys hiking as much as me. He was planning a trip of his own so I invited him on mine. I thought we could both use the company.”

“Is he your boyfriend?” Sergei’s tone was light but his tense shoulders gave off the impression of a possessive, jealous lover. Aylin was beginning to see him as an overgrown child who refused to share his toys with others. She felt like she was nothing more than his property.

She repressed a gulp, refusing to let her eyes wander from his, “No. He’s a friend.”

He ignored her statement. “After Leah Rivera, I thought you might not be not interested in men. It’s good to know you appreciate both sides,” Sergei leaned back to give off the illusion of someone who was casually lounging instead of someone fishing for information. They were both playing a difficult game of chess, each crafting their next move, while simultaneously trying to find their opponents weakness to exploit. “Cal swings both ways, too.”

“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just someone who enjoys hiking as much as me,” Aylin’s jaw tightened, giving him a stiff reply. She desperately hoped the heat burning behind her cheeks wasn’t outwardly noticeable. Her racing heart spiked at the mention of Leah. That was a name she hadn’t heard spoken aloud in years. “I don’t swing any way. Leah was nothing more than a friend, too.”

Liar. Leah was more than a friend. She was Aylin’s childhood best friend, her favorite person, her first crush, her first love. Leah used to be her everything.

Until she was nothing.

“Right, right,” he chuckled. “Cal and I were just friends once. I get it. But, Aylin, you know how this guild feels about outsiders. You can not trust them. It’s best you let that friendship drift away before it’s too late. I don’t want you going on a trip with that boy. It’s too dangerous. Cancel it. Stop seeing him. There’s more than enough eligible men here for you to attach yourself to. I can think of at least three off the top of my head who would love a chance. Stay within the guild.”

She had tried to stay within the guild until Sergei caught on about her and Leah’s relationship. She remembered his eyes flaring with hatred when he saw them share a quick kiss behind the school house one afternoon. Neither of the girls could understand why he would care what a couple of sixteen year olds got up to. It wasn’t long after that Leah’s entire family disappeared in the middle of the night. One day they were there, the next they were gone. Banished. No explanations given. No goodbyes said. Their empty house was demolished, as per tradition, whenever someone leaves the guild. Erase everything and build back up from scratch without the tainted memories. They were to never speak about the Rivera’s again. Every ounce of Leah’s existence in Aylin’s life was gone overnight until it was almost as if she never existed at all. If it wasn’t for the pictures hidden in a shoebox in the back of her closet, sometime’s Aylin might wonder if she dreamed up the entire thing. First, her best friend disappeared, then, her father and brother were slaughtered by wolves. Sixteen had not been kind to her.

But that was years ago. Leah was gone and so was the person Aylin used to be. She didn’t want Peter to become another pained memory added to the ever growing pile of forgotten people. She would protect this one. She wouldn’t let him be another soul for Sergei to steal from her.

Even if that made her a traitor.

She fixed a pleasant smile onto her face, “You’re probably right. I don’t know him that well anyway. I was just looking for a hiking buddy. Not a big deal and I’d better be safe than sorry. You never really know what those outsiders are like. Although, I do think I would be able to overtake him if it ever came to that. I’ve taken down werewolves. I think I can manage to get the upper hand on a random gas station employee. You’ve trained us well.” She threw Sergie her best attempt at a cheeky wink despite the anxious tightening of her throat. Her desperation for him to believe her was suffocating.

Outsiders. Traitors. Banishment.

Maybe Peter was right. She might be in a cult.

The truth hit her hard. She forced a smile onto her face despite wanting to slide under the table and crawl away.

Canceling fake plans with an imaginary boyfriend was easier than the truth of her deception. Outsider Peter was better than Werewolf Peter. One was a simple mistake at the hands of a lovestruck young woman. The other was direct treason against everything she ever knew.

He didn’t look impressed with her response.

Earthy, herbal smells wafted out from the kitchen door. She caught notes of lavender and chamomile mixed with some kind of sharp spice she was unfamiliar with. Sergei noticed her analyzing the scent.

“It’s not something we grow here in the mountains,” he remarked, blatantly ignoring her attempts to butter him up. “Calypso has family in Haiti. They send her all sorts of home grown products she can’t get here. She likes to think of herself as a bit of an alchemist when she’s in the kitchen. She makes the most wonderful tea. You’ll love it.”

As if on cue, Calypso burst through the doorway with a tray in hand. A clear teapot was placed on the table in front of them. Bits of loose herbs floated around inside the amber liquid. Skinny, swirling trails of hypnotizing white steam rose from the spout. She lifted the pot to pour out the delicious smelling tea into the delicate china cups. Aylin was handed the first one.

“For our guest,” Calypso smirked. “Made with love.”

Aylin ignored the snarky edge to her words and gave a polite smile. She took a small sip, happy for the distraction. It burned her tongue but slid smoothly down her throat. It was like nothing she’d ever had before. Warm and cozy with a sharp tang of spice as a lingering aftertaste. She took another big gulp as it gave her something to do with her fidgety hands.

Calypso perched on the thick arm of Sergei’s throne as she watched her guest drink, “How is it?”

“It’s wonderful. Thank you,” she feigned a smile. She wasn’t lying. It was delicious. She just struggled to make her voice sound genuine when her and Peter’s lives hung on her every word.

“Pleased to hear it.”

Sergei patted his wife’s thigh, “Aylin was just telling me about her gas station boyfriend. An outsider. They’re already planning a trip together.”

Calypso leaned against him, running her fingers through his hair, “A gas station boyfriend? Even she can do better than that.”

“He’s not my bo-” She was cut off by Sergei.

“I already told her that it would be best to let that relationship fade away. I think we could find her someone better. One of us. I would be doing Sam a disservice if I let his daughter run away with an outsider.”

Aylin bit her tongue and refused to mention that her mother was once an outsider. The longer they stayed on the topic of her lie, the more anxious she became. She didn’t want to have to keep thinking on her feet. It was exhausting her psyche.

“I said I would. It’s not a big deal,” she huffed, taking another sip of her tea. “He means nothing to me. I just thought it might be fun to have someone to hike with but I prefer being on my own anyway.”

Calypso smirked, “That’s what I like to hear. Outsiders are nothing. They don’t deserve your time of day. You have everything you need right here.” She shifted her body to lean forward, her deep brown eyes penetrating into Aylin’s very soul. “We’re all you need.”

She was most definitely in a cult. How could she have ever been so oblivious?

She might be the stupidest person alive.

This would be her downfall. The people she loved and fought to protect were the one’s holding the knife. They would be the ones to fatally stab her. Not the Lycans.

Before the realization could overtake her, Calypso’s loose robe had fallen open when she moved and her right breast had pushed its way out from the silky material. The sight of the woman’s freshly exposed skin caused her spiraling mind to halt. Sergei’s arm wrapped around his wife to grasp onto her breast, absentmindedly flicking her dark nipple with his thumb, as they both stared in her direction. Aylin’s ears heated up with a mixture of disbelief and horrific embarrassment. She quickly averted her gaze to the table. She got uncomfortable watching people kiss in public. Watching someone blatantly fondle his wife in front of her made her want to claw out of her own skin. They had always been overly affectionate with each other but it had never been as in her face as it was now. This was different. New. It was like they were challenging her. Like this was some kind of sick test she’d have to pass. From the moment Sergei showed up behind her, she was being tested. Her every move was stuck under a microscope and picked apart with a watchful eye.

These were not the people she once thought they were.

A new found hatred wrapped around her like a warm blanket. They were toying with her. Teasing her. Playing with her. They were getting off on watching her squirm. They liked this.

This was who they really were.

Aylin focused on her tea to keep herself distracted. She heard Calypso stifle a laugh under her breath. They were getting off on her discomfort. Her head was starting to feel dizzy and her heart felt like it was pounding in her ears. She suddenly felt very sweaty like there was a fire igniting in her stomach and spreading up her chest towards her throat. She hated them. That much was clear to her now. The guild was not a safe place. It never was. It had only felt that way because she was drinking the Kool Aid along with everyone else just like Peter said. Her whole life she had been fed a lie which she happily lapped down. Her world was crumbling down around her. Piece by piece it fell with deafening crashes and she was beginning to suffocate on the smokey rubble filling her lungs.

A headache was rapidly growing and her vision blurred for a millisecond before she blinked it back into focus.

“Ms. Aylin was just about to tell me what happened last night,” Sergei spoke, still massaging Calypso without any hint of embarrassment. His tone had flipped, losing the fake lightheartedness from earlier. He was serious. There was no more time for games. “She was going to explain exactly why she refused to kill a wolf in front of her entire guild.”

She was?

“For someone who claims to have killed two on her own, without any proof, you’d think a malnourished, caged bitch would be easy,” Calypso remarked. “It sounds to me like there might be a little white lie hiding somewhere in your story, dear girl. Don’t worry, darling, you can tell us. We won’t judge. We just want the truth.”

She took another sip of the tea to avoid having to answer them right away. Was she the only one drinking? Neither of them had touched the stuff.

Aylin didn’t want to look in their direction to check. She didn't want to watch what they were doing. They were making her uncomfortable on purpose. A power play. A way to prove that she was nothing but inferior to them. She didn’t want to be here. Her head felt like it was swimming with a million thoughts but none of them were making it to her lips. Her body was refusing to function. She couldn’t make her mouth and brain work as one.

“I, uh,” she stuttered over her words. “I…”

Her mind was starting to feel like it was slowly filling with sand. An hourglass at the verge of tipping. Her mouth felt dry so she downed the rest of her cup.

“That girl- she…she…was just…so…so young…” Aylin gave a slow blink, her chin bobbing down to her chest before quickly steadying her head back upright. “I…feel…”

She was suddenly exhausted. The empty tea cup slipped from her hand to shatter into pieces across the floor. She finally turned her attention to the couple, fearing that she was coming down with an illness. She was seeing double. Their forms wavered like rain in a puddle.

“Something’s not right,” she whispered.

“That would be the tea,” Sergei spoke, his voice steady. “Don’t worry, my dear. You’ll be fine.”

He pushed himself up from his throne to walk over to her. Aylin slumped into his arms, feeling paralyzed, as he easily lifted her to his chest. He cradled her there while he moved through his house, each room flashing slowly before her lagging eyes, until he stopped in front of a large bookcase.

“Wha-” she tried to speak but words were useless to her.

Sergei kicked his foot at something hidden against the side of the bookcase, tucked away from view, where the wall meets the floor.

With a low grumble, the bookcase slid slowly to the right to reveal a set of wooden steps leading underground. They creaked underfoot as he carried deeper into the abyss.

The musty smell of mildew and copper hit her nose.

“No…” Aylin managed to whisper, in a last ditch effort to protect herself before the drugs completely captured her mind.

“Sleep now,” Calypso purred over Sergei’s shoulder. “We have some important business to discuss. You’ll need your strength. Shh, drift off, little one. We’ll keep watch over you. Sleep.”

[CHAPTER FIVE (part two)]

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kiridarling · 4 years ago

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𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂!

izuku midoriya | tw!guns, single mom!reader, bouncer!izuku, domestic stuffs, tit sucking, mommy!calling ah, AND daddy!calling oh my, breeding kink, breaking the bed (futon). minors dni!

— 5.4k words

“When’s the last time someone touched you like this, hmm?”

The alley is dark.

There's a disconcerting feeling as you step deeper into the quiet darkness,

You turn to look at the door you entered this dank place from, but it's just as dark and grimy as the walls. You're almost positive that if you rested a hand against them, it would return pitch black, and if you stood in one spot for more than five minutes, the sticky booze would glue your heels to the floor. You're surprised when it doesn't.

"Hand over your wallet and no one gets hurt, pretty lady."

He's a smarmy looking bastard and as thin as they come. It’s clear this isn’t something he does on the regular, the pointed gun quivering so much you worry a trembling might slip and pull the trigger. And you fucking freeze, blood running below zero and heart plummeting because why you?

And fuck, you’ve got a kid at home with a babysitter, and there are many outcomes to this situation, none of them too cute.

"I said hand it over," he grunts, pressing forwards. Your back hits the grimy brick wall as your eyes dart to the mouth of the alley, where life continues, where cars race past, but no one sees a damn thing. Fuck. Fuck.

And it's not like you have much—hell, you may be a mother, but you know how to party. You squeeze your eyes shut, grip tightening around your purse as you clumsily fumble through it and the man steps closer. You toss all you have to his feet. A fucking twenty. He raises an eyebrow before eyeing your watch. He lets out an unimpressed snort.

"That it?"

You nod, taking a shaky step back.

"Well, that ain't fuckin' enough."

There's a click and you're positive it's him turning off the safety. His face twists like he's about to shoot a bullseye, and you squeeze your eyes as tight as they can go.

Until the looming shadow of the stranger disappears, followed by a sound that's distinctly skin on skin. Er—skin on bone.

You don't watch the fight. Frankly, you don't want to, and you still get to hear your protector spew a litany of curses and disrespectful phrases that should really only come from someone's mother. You don't even open your eyes, still screwed shut with a vice grip around your purse and wallet.

"Um, excuse me Miss? Are you alright?"

Your protector's eyes are much bigger than you expect them to be—and green. You realize you remember seeing those eyes, hardened from across the club.

He's hesitant to touch you, hands rising and falling and rising again. Though you suppose a hug seems like it'd be a little abrasive, it also sounds like the exact kind of thing you need right now.

"U-Um, yeah I'm..." you start, before noticing your attackers body bloodied and wrapped like a pretzel on the ground. "...Fine..."

He sounds like he's going to pass out—he doesn't.

"We should um, we should get you home," As he speaks, the greenette shuffles you out of the alley and into the streetlamp light, blinking himself out of something before holding a meaty hand out of formality. "I'm Izuku by the way. Izuku Midoriya."

For such a big guy, Izuku seems rather timid, and yet, seeing him at the entrance with crossed arms in a black tee and a scowl in the club doesn't give you much insight into his personality. Which makes you wonder why he became the club's bouncer in the first place.

"Um, nice to meet you," you nod, trying to suppress the shake in your hands as you take his. "Y/N."

Izuku smiles at that, and even though you're a regular, you've never actually seen him beam on the job. "Cool! Cool, so...um, I don't really feel comfortable letting you walk home...alone..."

You nod—he panics as if you aren't already on board.

"'Cause it's like, a conscience thing, you know? Like, I really won't be able to sleep tonight otherwise," Izuku defends, shoving a clumsy hand in his green curls. "B-But if you don't feel comfortable with it, or something, that's totally fine! I know what you just experienced was horrible, and you probably do—"

"Izuku."

"Yeah?" He perks up. It seems as if the circuit his mind runs finally comes to a stop.

"I'd...feel more comfortable if you walked me home. Too."

Your innards ache at the stiffness in both your voice and figure, but Izuku doesn't seem to notice. Instead, he beams, standing ten feet taller, and you think—yeah. You'd feel much safer if he did.

"O-Okay! Cool!" He confirms a bit stiff himself, and then, in a smoother motion, holds his hand out to take. "Shall we?"

Your red palm claps over his, and you snort quietly, "We shall."

You two walk in a surprisingly comfortable silence for the beginning of the walk—you lead the way and he silently trails behind, glaring daggers at any passerby with lingering eyes as you march on, unknowing.

"So um, do you come to Club 777 often?"

Which is a question you know he knows the answer to, completely aware you almost come every Saturday. But you smile at his attempt to start a conversation anyways, hands tucking underneath your armpits in search of warmth.

"Yeah, sometimes. Just trying to get out and stuff. Y'know, away from the kid."

"I get that," he nods with a smile, before tugging at the hem of his hoodie. "Oh! Are you cold? Here—wait, let me."

He shucks it over your head and your positive it messes up your hair. But you find that you don't care much, especially in favor of the warmth that it provides.

And then, "You have a kid?"

"Yep," you say, tucking your fists into the jacket pockets. "A big two-year-old potato waits for me back home."

"Oh," Izuku chortles at your description before tucking his hands into his jean pockets too. Licking his lips, his eyes dart to the street, "I...assume your boyfriend watches him for the night? Or husband or whoever."

"Uhm, not quite," you chuckle towards your feet, though it's a touch acrid. Izuku picks up on it immediately.

"Oh I'm so sorr—I didn't kno—"

"It's fine, Izuku really—"

"I—but I shouldn't even be assuming what if you had a wife or girlfriend or—" he takes a second to gasp, and your eyes widen in fear that he'll choke, "—or if they're nonbinary or—"

"Izuku," you knock him on the shoulder and he finally shuts up. "It's fine. I get it all the time."

He falters, but at least he seems to relax. "Really?"

"Yes," you giggle behind a hand, and the greenette smiles at it.

"O-Okay, cool."

Flecks of gold swim in Izuku's green irises and you find yourself noticing them now, suppressing the urge to advance closer for a better look. You stare long enough to watch his smile relax into a comfortable line, but you snap out of it once he kicks a rock, the sound of the gravel skittering across the floor tugging you out of your reverie.

"I'm not very good with kids, y'know," he says as an afterthought. You snort.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean," he scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. "Like what am I supposed to feed it? French fries?"

"Toddlers aren't it's, Izu." You can't tell if he flushes from the nickname or from what you said, but either way, it's enough to prompt another laugh. "And maybe start with baby food?"

"Ah," Izuku nods, and you guide him in turning a corner. "That would make sense.

"It would."

By the time you stop in front of your red front door, it's almost three am. You figure you caught Izuku right after he got off work, if the cheesy All Might sweatshirt you're wearing is any evidence of that, but either way, he looks like he's about to fall flat on his face.

"You can stay for the night, if you want," you offer, albeit meekly, and Izuku lifts two hands with insistence.

"Oh! No no no please, I'm fine," he shakes his head so quickly his curls bounce in a flurry, and you genuinely worry he's going to pass out when he tries to blink himself awake. "Just...not used to staying up this late is all."

"Then stay," you offer with a shrug, and your orange porch light flickers. "It's the least I can do. I've got a bed and a futon, and I'm fine with sleeping on either."

"I..." Izuku's green eyes flicker towards your door before back to you, "I really shouldn't. I'm a stranger an—"

"And I'm offering."

Izuku's eyebrows fold with the dilemma, but you grab his hand with a tug and a smile, while your free one shoves the keys into the door. "C'mon. Let's get you some rest, yeah?"

You can't tell if Izuku blushes or if it's just the lighting, but either way, his chest inflates in protest before deflating in resignation.

"Okay."

With a smile, you turn the doorknob. Your door has always taken some shoulder to get open, so you don't hesitate in shoving your collarbone into the hardwood. Izuku cringes at the sight.

"Mama!"

Your hit in the legs first, nearly stumbling back with a quiet oof. You look down to see Max wrapped around your legs like you're a fucking jungle gym, grinning with two missing teeth and a bandaid over his nose.

It's three am.

"I'm done," your babysitter grunts. "He doesn't listen when I tell him to bathe, eat, anything—I fucking quit."

And with that, they slam the door behind them, house rattling under the pressure. You sigh. There goes another one. Fuck.

"Well that wasn't very nice," Izuku grumbles under his breath disapprovingly. You smile at the arms crossed over his chest until Max peeks around your legs to see...

"A new daddy?"

"I—no, baby," you fight the embarrassment (and the urge to say you fucking wish) by picking the little one up by his armpits, smiling when he thrusts his hands in the air and goes weee! After he's comfortably cradled in your arms, you say, "He's just staying the night."

"Like daddy did!" Max defends with a giggle before rushing the greenette with open arms. Izuku just looks at you with a shrug before kneeling to take a hug to the chest as Max chants, "New daddy! New daddy!"

And, well. There's no stopping him now.

You peel your heels off your cramping feet and sigh at the fucking freedom, toes uncurling from the scrunched position it feels like they've been holding the entire night. You curse under your breath when you realize since Max is awake you've got to put him to bed too, and honestly, if you knew this babysitter was going to be just as useless as the others, you would've just let Max run fucking free while you lived life for a few hours. Not like that outcome would be any better.

"Alright Maxie, c'mon."

You take him away from his celebration with the greenette and though he pouts, he allows his mother to gather him in her arms.

"Do you um, need help?"

You turn to see Izuku awkwardly shifting in the doorway from the request, hands behind his back with pursed lips. You shake your head.

"Oh no, it's fine. I just have to put him down really quickly and then I'll be—"

"Mama, I'm hungry. I want chicken nuggies." Max loops his arms around your neck and tugs so hard you worry about your bones. You shake your head with a sigh and a pout.

"It's too late for you to be up, bud. You can have chicken nuggies for lunch tomorrow. Sound like a plan?"

But goodness. In this state, it'll take hours for him to relax—and you still have to unfold the futon for Izuku.

Max whines and kicks his legs but doesn't say no, meaning he's not really that hungry, he just wants to stay awake. "But—but what if new daddy's gone in the morning like the last one?"

Fuck.

"Max," you sigh, giving him a light shake so his matching eyes look into you yours. You speak a little softer, "Izuku's not your new daddy, okay? He's a houseguest."

Max's face drops. "Not eve—"

"No, Maxie," you sigh, squeezing him on the shoulder. "Now let's go to bed, okay?"

"I can—I can put him down if you'd like! So you can get into something more comfortable and stuff. I mean, I've never worn a dress but sweats are so much better, you know? Or shorts, or...whatever you wear to sleep."

You understand the many points he's trying to get across, one being that's he's not a creep, just a nice guy, and you suppose you and Max can live in your "new daddy" fantasy for a little longer. Even if you know this one will be gone by morning.

"Um, okay yeah," you say, voice a little thin, before handing your child over to the greenette—who bounces into his arms excitedly. "I'll be back, then? His room is down the hall to the right. The one with the race car bed."

Izuku's eyes narrow as he processes your directions. "Down the hall to the right—okay! I'll just go take this little guy to bed, then."

"Okay, thank you," you nearly bow, because Izuku just saved both of you so much time and he doesn't even understand how. "Oh! And good luck."

"Good...luck?"

"Yep!" You say with a wink and a pat on the back before scooping your heels and booking it back to your bedroom with a cackle. Time to get out of this dress. Fucking finally.

You realize that being alone is much more unsettling when you've had a gun held to your head today.

Every little noise just seems off, like it could belong to something more than it actually does, even the silence; you find yourself shoving your head through your t-shirt abnormally fast, eyes blinking to take a survey of the room to ensure that you're alone. You are. It's fine.

And that's what you tell yourself when you close your eyes to run a wet rag over your face, and again with the dry one. All of a sudden, you don't like the way your bathroom window faces the open backyard nor do you like how dark it is outside. You don't like how big your bed looks, and goddammit, you haven't even gotten into it yet.

Pushing all uneasy thoughts aside, you stumble out of your bedroom with a fresh face and a new outfit, stilling in Max's doorway when the greenette doesn't notice you. Resting against the frame with crossed arms, you smile.

"I do so like green eggs and ham! Thank you! Thank you, Sam-I-am. You know, when I was a kid I—oh, he's asleep."

Izuku tucks the snoring boy in his lap under the covers with a gentle grin, pulling them underneath his chin. The greenette takes a second, watches Max's chest rise and fall a few times, before ruffling the tuft of hair on his head with a snort, and walking away.

You don't even think Izuku sees you until he practically sashays out the door, winking, "Good luck, huh?"

To say you go red in the face from that is an understatement.

"How do you do this?"

"Do what?" You ask as you pulling the futon in your living room forwards. Izuku yawns before gesturing to the clock with a shake of his head.

"Take care of a kid, and work, and go to a bar every Saturday evening? It's four am, and something tells me you've been up for a while. I'm practically dead and I wake up at one pm every day!"

You chuckle at that, jumping on the bed with your hands and knees to ensure its lays flat...and ensure that it won't make an Izuku sandwich at seven in the morning. "You build up stamina after a while, I guess."

"No shit," he gestures to you as you utilize the entire length of your body to put the sheets on the mattress. He would help, but you told him no, insisting that he'd only make this take longer. "Are you sure you do—"

"Nope," you huff, clapping your hands together. "I'm done."

Izuku blinks at the made bed, to you, to the made bed again, and then back to you with wide eyes.

"Mommy magic."

"I—" you blink towards the ceiling to see if that even makes sense, but you figure fuck it, it's four am, with a snort. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you want to call it."

In reality, you feel like you're about to pass out.

"Um, so I don't really have pj pants and I don't think you'll have any that'll fit, so..."

"Yeah no, I definitely burned all the shit my ex left—"

"Aha okay, cool, um, so just boxers...are fine...?"

He looks down at his black jeans and back to you, raising an eyebrow. You toss a nonchalant shrug in return, and you hate to say it, but your inner school girl goes—dick outline.

"O-Okay, then," Izuku says, and you watch his hands curl around the waistband. "I'm just gonna—"

He shucks his pants so hard they hit the floor, and your eyes widen because...well...looks like he's just gonna do it then.

Until Izuku's hands rush to cover his crotch (which you weren't peeking at, you weren't) and you realize that maybe you should've stepped out of the room or something.

"U-Um—that was fast—"

"I thought—thought you were going to uhm, turn around," he flushes, a funny contrast to the way his muscles fold under that black shirt, and your feet move to turn around like he ordered you to do it.

"Sorry! So sorry," you try to apologize, but now his dick print is burned in your brain, and...it isn't that bad.

"It—It's fine! I'm in the bed now so, you can turn around."

You laugh awkwardly and scuffle to turn, as you do, and Izuku beams at you from the bed with a wave.

"Hi," he says, his lower half-tucked under the covers. You wave back.

"Hi."

Izuku's eyes dart to you living room tv before the come back to you. "So uhm, I guess this is goodnight?"

"Oh right," you perk up at that, hands rubbing the sides of your thighs like there's something on them. "Time to go to bed, right?"

"Uh, yeah!" He nods, chest shuddering before he says, "so uh, sweet dreams?"

You smile tight at the kind gesture, and your hands opt to pull at the hem of your shirt instead, eyes drifting to an old pile of records you haven't regarded in months. "Thanks! You...too?"

Izuku smiles, though his eyes drift, "Yeah..."

You beam back. You figure you should probably go now, or something, until you think of something and slam a fist into your palm. "Oh! Also, I meant to thank you for saving me. I'm not sure if I did that. Did I do that?"

The greenette shrugs, "Uh, I think so?"

"Okay! Okay. Cool," you nod, flashing a tight smile. "Mmk. Night Izuku."

"G'night."

And see, you would move—except it seems as if your feet are glued to the floor and won't move no matter how hard you try, to the point where it feels like your straining and they're going numb, and yet you're still staring at Izuku's pretty fucking face.

"C'mon," he chuckles, scooting over on the futon to make extra space for you. "If you take all day, the beds gonna get cold, and then I'm going to have to crawl into yours like a creep."

"Oh my fucking god," you snort one breath and move to flick off the lights before stumbling through the darkness for the futon. "You're so weird."

"Weird in a good way, I hope," he lifts the blanket and you slide under—and swear your knee grazes his before it's snatched away.

"There's no weird in a bad way," you say once you've settled comfortably, tucking your hands under your head as you lay on your stomach. Izuku mimics your position, though he takes up much more of the blanket, and you find that it drapes over you like a tent over his shoulders. Neither of you close your eyes, for some reason.

"Hi," Izuku whispers.

"Hi," you smile back.

"Okay," he huffs, face twisting in determination, "Now it's goodnight."

"Right," you nod, but your eyes don't close. "Goodnight. Of course."

"Don't let the bedbugs bite," he says with a chuckle, and you can't tell if his eyes flicker to your lips or if you imagine it. Either way, you look them just in case.

"I better not have bedbugs," you snort. "I clean this place like a motherfucker."

Izuku's nose twitches at that with a nod. Moonlight pours into your living room and colors his pale skin silver, though you figure it won't take the sun much longer to color it a strawberry pink. "You really do. It's...different when it's quiet."

"Yeah," you agree, placing your hands on his chest. It shudders under your palms. "Kinda personal, huh?"

"Mhm," he nods, and though his hands wrap around your wrists, they never pull them away. You lift an eyebrow.

"A bad personal?"

Izuku doesn't hesitate, breath nearly ghosting your lips as he says, "Hardly."

"Would you..." now it's your chests turn to shudder, and sliding a hand up to play with his ear, you bite the bullet. "Like to get more personal?"

Izuku's lips melt into a grin against yours, "I'd love to."

His lips are softer than you thought.

Maybe because you assumed all of him was a bumbling mess, including his chapstick application; but they're fucking pillow-soft, and you don't realize how deprived you are until his hold around your body turns from protective to sensual and you melt from his heat.

"Fuck," Izuku huffs between kisses, growling when your grip around his neck tightens. "Watching you from across the club for weeks can do a thing to a guy's patience, you know."

"Oh?" You snort as he presses enthusiastic open-mouthed kisses down the column of your neck, hot and wet, and painful once his teeth dig into your collarbone. "A-Ah, Izuku—no marks."

"O-Oh! Sorry," he pulls away, lips red and swollen, and shiny with spit. You smile at the reaction.

"'S okay, Baby," you giggle at the speed to which his muscles go lax, and his eyes droop to your chest when you scratch the back of his head.

"Can I—can I suck your tits?"

He asks so bashfully it's nearly innocent, and you find your eyes dropping to your chest along with his before you're ditching his All Might sweatshirt all together.

"God," Izuku's eyes flutter as he gathers your breasts in both palms, groaning at the sight. "They're fucking perfect."

You shudder as his thumb ghosts a nipple, and Izuku dips an experimental hand under your lacy bra and pinches. Hard.

Your thighs jolt and hands fist the sheets, and a moan comes from the back of your throat before you can stop it. Izuku's hand rocket to cover your mouth.

"Shh—you don't wanna wake him up, do you?"

You shake your head, but it's hard to keep quiet when your nipples are as sensitive as they are. Izuku doesn't seem like he really means that statement, though, lowering his head with a devilish grin as if he knows that for himself.

“Sensitive, Mommy?”

“O-Oh um,” you flush at the nickname, and even more so when his lips close around your nipple and suck. Tangling a hand in his hair, you sigh, “Yeah, a little.”

Izuku hums at that, eyes fluttering to watch you bite your bottom lip in a poor attempt to muffle a moan, hissing as his teeth dig into the hardened bud. He pulls off with a slurp and moves to the other, but not without a few kisses across your chest.

“When’s the last time someone touched you like this, hmm?” Izuku nearly growls out before biting into the opposite nipple, and you shudder as he dips a scarred hand down the waistband of your shorts and panties. He chuckles after sliding a finger through your slit. “So wet for me.”

“It—It’s been a second,” you sigh, grip tightening around his shoulders as he slides a finger in. Even Izuku has to bite a lip at your tightness in anticipation, mouth descending over your nipple once more to send frissons of fire up your spine.

“No shit,” he grunts around your nipple, curling his finger. You gasp. “Think I can fit another one in there?”

“Why don’t you try?” You giggle, but it dissipates into nothing but air as he does, his two fingers filling you up enough to elicit a sigh.

“How’s that?” He breathes, face hovering over yours. As your hands coil around his neck, his free one reaches for your inner thigh and pulls it back far enough to give him a better angle as he presses you into the mattress.

“Good, it’s good,” you nod, and your hips start to move on their own, bucking forwards as if there’s any more finger left for you to fuck. (Spoiler: there’s not.)

“Good,” he breathes, eyes going glossy as he watches you writhe under him. You're positive that you're carving painful red lines into his back, but considering the way his eyebrows fold every time you do, makes you wonder if he doesn't mind. "Fuck I can't wait to fuck you—I can fuck you, right?"

"No Izuku, I'm just letting you finger me for fu-u—fuck."

He slides in a third finger and for some reason, it burns a little—but the burn only makes your eyes roll further, and he's stuffing you with a chuckle.

"What was that?"

"I-I—you're not pla—playing very fair," you huff, chest shuddering as he tilts your hips higher for a better angle. You suppress a scream when his fingers curl, jolting forwards at such a speed it makes the futon creak. Izuku tightens his grip around your waist to keep you from going too far.

"No one said anything about being fair, Mommy," he teases, and you whine when he removes his fingers, tapping them against your lips. "C'mon, you gotta get 'em wet so I can fuck you, right?"

You nod at the idea, enjoying the idea of being filled up much more, and coat his fingers to the point where they're dripping when he pulls him out. Izuku's chest rumbles.

"So good for me," he purrs, using your spit to coat his cock before he's sliding his head between your folds—you shiver, grabbing onto his back again. "Ready?"

“Mhm,” you nod, spreading your legs further—though you swear they do that on their own.

“Oh my, you’re um...tight...”

You whimper from the stretch and look between your legs, eyes widening upon seeing that Izuku’s much bigger than you had anticipated. Or had been warned of.

“F-Fuck, I can’t—“

“Shhhh, it’s okay, just a little more, okay?” Izuku nearly whispers into your lips as his hands move to rub your shuddering sides. Your eyes screw shut, “Jus’ a little more, Mommy...”

Izuku pushes deeper and you’re being split in half—because what else could that burn be—but you’ll admit, the feeling of accomplishment you receive once he bottoms out is surreal.

“Good—Good girl,” Izuku’s nearly quivering and plants his hands on both sides of your head with a huff.

“I-Izu,” you whimper as he starts to move, feeling impossibly full no matter how far he pulls out. Izuku shudders, mouth rounding into an ‘o’ when his hips slowly start to gain rhythm, and though it’s loud, you know the creak of the futon is unavoidable. You squeal as his head hammers into your cervix, pulling out a wanton Daddy before you have half a mind to shut the fuck up. You nearly freeze, and yet, all Izuku’s hips do is speed up.

“Yeah? Want me to be your new Daddy?” He moans, and you dig your nails into his back with a nod. The greenette curses at that, biting his bottom lip and his hand drops between your legs to rub at your clit. With thighs seizing around his waist, you slam a hand over your mouth to keep yourself quiet.

“Fuck—I make you feel that good, Mommy?” Izuku nearly wheezes, eyes suppressing the urge to screw closed, “So good you can’t keep your pretty mouth shut?”

“Y-Yeah, I—“ you gasp when he lifts your hips off the bed for a better angle, hands fisting the sheets. “Harder, Daddy—“

“Oh Mommy, if I go any harder I think I might break this bed,” he says, borderline bashful, but you find yourself saying fuck the bed as your hips buck in search of a feeling he refuses to give you. Izuku’s chuckle strains as he says, “So needy, Mommy. You that needy for my cum?”

Clawing at his back, you try your damnest to stutter out a yes. Izuku chuckles at your desperation before he cuts himself off with a groan, eyes rocketing to where you’re both connected as you tighten around him.

“F-Fill me up, I wanna—“

“You want another baby, Mommy?” Izuku pants, and you’re so close you start to feel a buzz in your thighs, praying he isn’t too far behind. You nod vehemently with a gasp and his lips slide into an exhausted smile, "Fuck, of course you do—and you’re gonna take me so well, aren’t you? All of it.”

Izuku finishes his sentence with a growl, pressing you further into the mattress—it squeaks like a squeaky wheel, and when it thunks a level lower both of you yelp, the back of the futon thumping on your hardwood floor with each thrust.

“Told ya,” Izuku wheezes, eyes scrunching in a chuckle. You return it.

“It—It’s old anyway,” you reply, but your eyebrows fold as quickly as they unfold from the crash. The creaking futon increases in pitch as his hips pick up the pace, “Fuck—fuck Izuku I’m gonna cum.”

“What’s my name?” The greenette challenges, and you find yourself shivering at the dominance he exudes. The finger on your clit disappears and you whine, knowing damn well you can’t cum without it.

“Daddy—Daddy please—“

“Good—fuck, so good for me,” his hand returns to your clit and you sigh at the feeling. As the coil in your gut threatens to snap, his hips speed up, and Izuku pants, “We’re gonna cum together, yeah? Cum with me Mommy, c’mon—“

“Fuck!” You drag red lines down Izuku’s back as you quake under the weight of your orgasm, broken bed whining as Izuku thrusts all his weight into you. Digging his teeth into your shoulder, the greenette cums with a broken moan, hips stuttering into yours for the final time that night.

The room fills with a comfortable silence, minus the panting, and Izuku rolls onto the mattress next to you with a bounce. It creaks, whines, and then drops again, catching both you and the greenette by surprise. (Again.)

“I think—I think we broke it,” Izuku says towards the ceiling as he catches his breath. You giggle at that, hands laid across your sweaty stomach, and turn to him with your head in the pillow.

“Gives me an excuse to buy a new one,” you say with a shrug. Izuku chuckles back.

“I guess,” he teeters his head to both sides. “I can...also pitch in, if you want. Since I broke the thing. Technically.”

His offer sounds apprehensive as if he’s encroaching in your space, as if he hasn’t been all up in your space less than a minute ago. You smile. “I’d like that a lot, actually. Thanks.”

"And um, breakfast? I mean," he snorts, though it seems rather defensive, and his eyes rocket to the ticking clock on your wall. Your eyes follow: five am. "I mean—fuck um, I feel like this might be weird but I think you're cool? Um, yeah, so breakfast, I can make it if you want because you're so busy being motherly and stuff and plus, it's Sunday but again, if you don't wan—"

"Izuku," you giggle, wrapping your arms around his gut with a little squeeze. "Breakfast sounds nice."

The greenette beams and his chest stutters. "O-Okay cool! Cool, cool. Breakfast then?"

You snort, driving your palm into his face to shut him the fuck up. "Goodnight, Izuku."

Izuku giggles, getting the message, and coils his arms around your shoulders to provide a comfort you haven't felt in a very, very long time.

"G'night Mommy."

#— 𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔 #CLUB 777 #izuku smut #bnha smut #mha smut #midoriya smut

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katsukikitten · 4 years ago

Text

Hello friends! Here is my contribution to the Bakugou Birthday Bash! The master link will be linked here ! Please enjoy my bit of an angsty fic! And all of the other art and works that are on the master list! Enjoy the big bakugou blow out and remember to leave a comment on your favorite pieces! Happy birthday ya shitty man! (Lowkey become 3d please)

Warning: he's 28 btw 😂 (my fic says so also)

It shouldn't be this fucking hard to get groceries and booze. It's a quick and easy errand. Everything already pre-ordered for an important birthday that just needed to be picked up. And yet here you were crying in your car trying to get it together before the attendant asked for the order name. Honestly you had texted out "I can't do this today. Sorry." Several times before deleting it, telling yourself not to hit send. But you would have to be having the worst mental day of your life wouldn't you? Today of all days, how fucking selfish of you.

Especially with the amount of time and effort you and Kirishima had put into this idea. Since New Year's actually, months and months of planning after the two of you had gotten shit faced at Denki and Mina's new years party, creating the brain child. All after bonding over switching patrol partners six months before, you had gotten Bakugou and he had gotten Ashido. Kirishima and yourself giggle over stupid things to the side of the party, people watching as you took shots. Kirishima points towards a normally grumpy blonde.

"Wow I think he's actually having fun." You snort, as you watch Bakugou hide his rare cat smile behind a sip of his beer as Mina makes Denki the butt of a joke.

"He actually loves parties. He never says it so people just think he's a wet blanket." Kirishima laughs, pouring the two of you another shot. Bakugou lets out a particularly loud laugh after 'Dunce Face' proves Mina's point. I guess that would be the time that it started.

When you started to fall. His laugh makes your cheeks deepen in hue and burn, to want to hear it again, to watch it again and learn all of the other sides of your patrol partner that he obviously only reserved for his closest friends.

"Let's throw him a great birthday party." You say, holding up your shot as a devilish smile spreads over sharp teeth. The mountainous man clinks your shot glass before he adds.

"Let's." In unison the two of you down the burning liquid as the plan comes into fruition.

Four months, four months and nineteen days of you thinking of nothing but your patrol partner with whom you got extremely close with since New Year's. So why? Why today of all days were you struggling? Why would normal everyday tasks feel more as if you were wading through mud than the breeze they should have been? You flip down the visor, looking yourself in the eye through little square mirror as you grit your teeth hissing

"Get your shit together."

Your little pep talk helps you get the several cakes and the cart full of booze that everyone requested, planning to make this the best birthday ever. Helping Kirishima set his house up with decorations, setting out the snacks, catering and even pouring some drinks as guests began to arrive to set down their gifts and help with the last minute touches before hiding. Masking through the pit in your stomach as you smiled at all of your friends as they poured in through Kirishima's door. Through the weighted emptiness you felt as each one wrapped you into a tight hug, already praising you and Kirishima for the amazing effort, that Bakugou would be so surprised when it was more than just you and Kirishima here. . Finally you had to go and get the guest of honor just before sundown to catch him before he went to bed. A much needed breather from the constant smiling and forcing a laugh that everyone thought sounded genuine.

Enjoying the silence of the evening train as it pulled you across town to the unsuspecting blonde. And maybe you could have made it through the night from your shitty pep talk or at least through getting the freshly 28 year old to his party but instead you catch your reflection in the window. Your facial features weighted with exhaustion, shoulders hunched allowing your body to continue to produce cortisol. Tears prick your eyes as you deep low, too low. Remembering everything and nothing all at once, steeping in guilt as you beg yourself for just a few more hours. That the depression episode can happen when you're home and alone, after the party goes off without a hitch. Tears fall anyway and they do all the way to Bakugou's until you finally get enough control to step out of yourself for a moment. Ringing the doorbell several times as a smile is plastered on your face, the door swings open. Bakugou's eyes narrow as they take you in, he notices that something is off. Your smile is a little too wide, your eyes rimmed red but he says nothing about it. Instead he lets his initial anger come forth.

"Oi! I told you to fuckin' text me when you were on the train so I could meet you at the station!" He growls, slamming his door shut and pocketing his keys. Deadly and sweaty hands deep in the pockets of his leather jacket as his palms itch to hold onto something else. Garnet eyes track your own hands as you reach over your head stretching.

"Yea yea, I hear you Dad." You tease giving him a look, "I still made it okay."

"Kirishima should have come instead of you that fuckin hair for brains." He snarls keeping pace with you as he always does on patrol.

"I know Dad must be sad cause his favorite didn't come to pick him up." You try not to sound dejected, nudging him in the ribs to distract from the crack in your voice, "Happy birthday ya big lug."

Bakugou cuts you a glare, mind racing before his barks out a "Thanks."

Comfortable silence stretches between the two of you before you two hit the train station, passing a corner store.

"Was shitty hair burning dinner? Do I need to stop for back up?" His thumb hooks over his shoulder towards the neon as he stands idle waiting for you to jog your memory. Kirishima had burned the last friend's dinner making Bakugou so angry he walked six blocks to make something that was 'FUCKIN EDIBLE!' while you tried to air out his apartment. You laugh loudly, genuinely for the first time that day causing Bakugou's shoulders to sag with relief. In the ten months he had been working with you he had only seen you faking a smile or laugh once or twice. Then the time after that you were absent from work the next day or two forcing him to patrol with Denki but worse yet...making him worry.

"Guess I'll grab something just in case." He gave you his back so you wouldn't see his face or the faint blush that dusted his cheeks.

"No, no! I ordered out this time. From that famous chef you like." Bakugou glares your way, digging in his back pocket for his wallet.

"How much." He demands through gritted teeth while you show him the palms of your hands in surrender.

"Woah woah! It's your birthday gift! You can't pay me back for dinner! I'd sooner burn the money before I'd accept it from you!" Your watch dings with a message from Kirishima asking for an ETA. You grab onto Bakugou's hand pulling him along into a run as you shout over your shoulder.

"We're gonna be late!"

Oh how Bakugou wished you hadn't done that, he was already struggling to keep his heart beat even when you were around and now to grab onto him. To pull him along in a hurry like those cheesy insta posts that couples did on their "grand adventure" together. He swallows the lump in his throat as he reminds himself that you are nothing more than his patrol partner. His friend at best.

Even though the train was mostly empty Bakugou stood closely by you, as he always did when the two of you were in a crowded space. He had seen how most men took advantage of the situation and he hated the idea of that happening to you although he knew you were more than capable of handling it on your own. Hell you could kick even his ass but he would die before ever admitting that. Instead he watches you talk about what you ordered for dinner and how you got the cake from that bakery Sato works part time at, the same one he got your birthday cake from but he doesn't hear a word. Instead all he can see is the golden light from the setting sun worshiping you. Kissing your skin to make it glow, giving your eyes a hue that makes his heart fall into his stomach and illuminating you in a true light. A radiant ethereal thing is what you were and Bakugou was just lucky enough to be standing by you. So out of it he doesn't realize the two of you are at your stop.

"Uh Suki?" Your voice is soft paired with the setting sun has him acting weird. He leans closer to you, pulled by some invisible force before he stops himself as he watches you look up at him beneath long lashes.

"You okay?" You ask almost nervously from his proximity, the smell of spice and caramel wrap around you making you feel warm and fuzzy. Temporarily making you forget that you were trying to act on the train, making you relax as you just talked to Bakugou. He sucks his teeth as he picks up your bag to sling over his shoulder.

"Yea but you were gonna forget your whole damn purse like you always do." He huffs, this time he was the one pulling at your hand in a rush before the doors closed to trap you two on the train. His hand feels warm in yours, his grip tight as he drags you along before pulling you within his sight, another habit of his you happened to notice. Almost reluctantly he lets go of you hand as Kirishima's house comes into view.

"We better have a good time tonight patrol Princess or you owe me a special birthday gift." He laughs causing you to roll your eyes at his stupid nickname that stuck after your first day with him, adamant that the two of you take your route instead of his it was a huge argument. But it was a good thing he listened to the "princess", it put the two of you smack dab in the middle of a robbery. You stick out your tongue.

"Trust me. You're gonna have a good time!" You push him up the steps as he bats away your hands. Opening the front door before everyone jumps out of various and bad hiding spots.

"SURPRISE!!" All of the alumni of class A and some of B shout, a select few already slurring their words. Bakugou's scowl turns into a smirk before he looks over his shoulder at you.

"Aw you did this to me?" His voice is teasing but his eyes almost sparkle, you nod encouraging him to go deeper into the party. As he does people flock to him laughing and yelling out happy birthday until he's sick of hearing it. All the while your smile wanes with the night. Until an hour in that heavy episode hits you full force. Numbness setting in where happiness should be, rotting as it turns to shame and guilt as you watch your friend, your crush, enjoy his night. Bringing a glass bottle to his lips as he talks with Kirishima, who then presses a shot into his hands. Bodies dancing to the house music that beat out of the speakers competing with chatter and laughter.

It felt weird to watch everyone truly enjoying themselves while you felt low. It felt more as if you were standing outside of the house, looking in through the window to see everyone enjoying themselves, no one even knowing who you were as you stared in.

You felt distant, alone. What a shitty way to feel in a room full of people, none of it being their fault and so the guilt pressed harder. Eyes watering as they lingered on the blonde who deserved this celebration and more. Making you decide to give the best birthday gift of them all.

To slip away upstairs and onto the roof, to give the room space to breathe when you felt like suffocating.

Crying to no one but the moon.

And no one noticed. Two hours slip by before Kirishima insists that Bakugou make a wish and eat cake before everyone gets too drunk too. The entire house drunkenly sings happy birthday but Bakugou notices a voice missing. Yours that's just a touch off key, not to mention he didn't hear you say the stupid nickname 'Suki' where his name should be in the song. Plus you weren't one to miss out on dessert. For as long as Bakugou has been working with you, you never turned down the opportunity for sweets. Whether that was taking the long way back to the agency to try to catch a certain street vendor or to hover by the deserts at a party to pick the very best treat.

And if it was a birthday party, you never could shut up that y'all could not leave until after they blew out the candles and made a wish.

His eyes linger for a second longer, making sure he didn't miss you before his heart sinks. He takes in a sharp inhale, thinks on his wish and blows out the candles.

Meanwhile you hear the cheers of everyone down stairs and sob into your knees. You missed your favorite part of birthdays. Of hoping they make a wish that comes true, of watching their face as they think of something quickly or how some people tear up when they finally realize just how loved they are on their birthday.

It isn't long after that do you hear the sound of combat boots on shingles. Whipping your head up in the direction of the sound. Stomach clenching with guilt as you watch Bakugou walking towards you with a slice of cake.

"Brought ya some cake, since I didn't hear you sing off key to me." He says sinking down beside you as you furiously wipe at your tears.

"I'm-um."

"You don't gotta explain yourself to me." He snarls as you stare dumbly at your cake, "You know that."

"I know…" Silence passes slowly, the moon shines overhead and the party carries on below.

"Well, I'm waiting!" Bakugou says dramatically, "You gonna sing or am I gonna have to sing to myself?"

"Oh." It makes you giggle a bit before you blush, realizing he is serious. You take a deep breath before singing "just off key" when you don't, to him.

"Sukiiiiii!" Relief washes over his features when he hears the dumb ass name, "Happy birthday to youuuuuu!"

"Okay, now you can eat the damn cake." He grunts, his smile never wavering as he looks to the empty street below. You follow his eyes, chewing the inside of your lip, setting the cake down.

"What'd you wish for…" Curiosity gets the better of you and earns his intense gaze. He smirks, scoffing at the end.

"You always say you shouldn't tell or it won't come true." He laughs at your pout, before he finally admits "I wished for courage."

With a furrowed brow you give him a puzzled look, he just holds your gaze.

"Why? You're like the bravest hero I know!" Bakugou can hear the truth in your voice, you aren't saying it just to fucking stroke his ego.

You actually meant it, making this conversation that much harder.

"Yea except when it comes to this one thing I want to do. Its fuckin easy and I've done it hundreds of times just as I'm about to do it I fucking back down cause I'm probably fuckin reading into things too much." He leans in closer, again his smell mesmerizes you, causing your body to visibly relax, "Too much of a fuckin bitch, thinking she doesn't want me like I want her. So I wished for the courage to follow through. To fuckin' just do it."

Your heart is racing out of your chest before one of his hands finds the nape of your neck pulling you into a feverish kiss. Teeth gnashing from the passion, lips perfectly modeling to the other before tongues lightly dance around one another. Lengthening seconds into hours with just a few head tilts and plush lips. You moan into his mouth, he pulls away, eyes clouded with lust as a string of spit connects your tongues. He pants, face flushed and his hand warm, almost burning at the nape of your neck, the shingle by his hand charred from restraint as he pants out.

"I wished for you."

#bakugou x reader #bakugou birthday bash #bnha x reader #bakugo x reader #bnha au #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo #bnha imagine #bakugou birthday

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pettyvxbes · 4 years ago

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FUCKLUST (18 +) - {COLSON BAKER x READER }

Y'all, I got a little carried away on this one. 🙈🥵💦

Warnings: Smut (18+), cursing.

FUCKLUST

Intransitive verb: an insatiable sexual desire to fuck the hell out of that one particular special someone you think about all the time.

Colson towered over you, his strong arms pinning your hands over your head. Leaning down, he captured your lips in a heated kiss. You could feel his hard cock against your thigh, making heat pool in your center. You gasped as Colson pushed his body against yours, sliding his bare length between your folds. You could feel his hot breath on yours as a groan escaped his lips.

Colson took your bottom lip between his teeth, biting hard. You wanted to pull him closer, but he kept a firm grip on your arms which were still positioned above your head. You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him as close to you as possible.

"I'm going to fuck you so good you won't be able to remember another man has been inside you, you won't ever want another cock." Colson growled, reaching down to position himself. You could feel the head of his cock pressing at your entrance.

A jolt shuddered through you, making you jump. Your eyes shot open as you awoke from your accidental nap. You were immediately met with the familiar pair of baby blues that belonged to your co-star, Colson Baker.

You two had been working on a movie together for the last three months, and you were set to film your very first kissing scene, which you ultimately blamed for the naughty dream, even though you knew deep down it was much more than that. From the moment you stepped on set, the chemistry between you was undeniable, and the sexual tension was consuming. Colson was always making you laugh uncontrollably or making you wish you were underneath him. Unfortunately, you had both decided for the sake of the film that you would keep it professional. The closer it got to wrapping the first film, the harder it was to resist wrapping yourselves around each other.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Colson asked. Your cheeks flushed red, remembering the dream you were just in the middle of. Colson smirked at you once he noticed the rosy tint to your cheeks. "You were dreaming about me, weren't you?" He joked but had no idea how accurate he was.

You quickly tried to regain your composure, ignoring the intense need for his hands on your body. It took everything in you to not jump him right there in the lounge.

"Yeah, actually," You admitted, catching him off guard at your candor.

"Guys, we need you on set." One of the crew members popped their head in the room, interrupting your conversation. You got up from the chair that you had fallen asleep in, stopping in the doorway, you turned back around to face the handsome man.

"Thank you for the sex. It was mind-blowing." You smirked, making Colson's jaw drop. Although your dream hadn't gone quite that far, you knew it would have been amazing.

It sucked. Liking someone you couldn't have. Seeing Colson every day but knowing that he'd never be yours because of your stupid agreement. It was the worst feeling in the world. All you could do was dream about him and the things that he'd do to you. . .

. . . but you couldn't jeopardize the success of the film, your career, you worked so hard to get to where you were. You refused to be like all of the other Hollywood cliches. Two beautiful people playing two beautiful lovers who accidentally fall for each other in real life but eventually go up in flames. Completely ruining the on-screen chemistry in the sequels or worst-case scenario, one of them being re-casted, which you knew would end up being you.

Not long after stepping on set, you found yourself standing in the middle of a faux lingerie store next to Colson, who was helping your character pick out something to wear.

"Let me guess. You like garters and silk stockings?" You delivered your lines perfectly as you thumbed through the garments on the rack in front of you.

"Two for two, although I'd like you in anything you put on… or take off," Colson smirked, handing you a hanger adorned with a very sexy lace bustier set. You glanced towards the dressing rooms, then back at Colson with a scandalous glimmer in your eye.

"Help me try it on? Just to make sure it fits, of course."

"Of course." Colson mimicked you before following you towards the dressing rooms. After quickly switching scenes on set, you resumed filming in the tiny room.

You pushed Colson toward the bench in the dressing room, forcing him to sit. Looking him straight in the eye, you reached for the hem of your clothes, lifting slowly, exposing your bare skin inch by inch. Colson sat in front of you, clenching his fists in his lap, clearly holding himself back from reaching for you as you stepped out of the last of your clothes and into the lingerie.

"Well?" Does it live up to your imagination?" Your character asked as you looked at yourself in the mirror, adjusting the straps on the bustier and garter belt. Colson's body was pressed up against yours in an instant, meeting your gaze in the mirror. He planted a kiss on your neck, sending shivers down your spine as his hands found their way to your hips. You could feel him growing hard against you. In the moment, you almost forget that you were filming, clearing your throat to break the trance.

"I hope you like this one because I'm pretty sure I have to buy these panties now." You blurted. Those weren't your lines; You had no idea where that came from. You could feel Colson grin against the nape of your neck. Your face flushed in embarrassment, but before anyone could notice, Colson spun you around, threading his fingers through your hair pulling you into a fierce kiss.

You knew this wasn't how the scene was supposed to go, but even as you tried to remind yourself to stick to the script, you found yourself pulling him closer. After the last few months of tension and self-restraint, Colson's mouth, hot and insistent on yours, was a relief.

"Tell me to stop, and I will," Colson whispered against your lips.

"Don't." Was the only word you were able to get out before you melted into his arms. Wrapping your body around his. The kiss grew passionate and intense quickly. You both forgot where you were and what you were doing until the director screamed cut, startling both of you.

"That was phenomenal," the director complimented you two on your improv. The rest of the day was spent filming fill-in scenes with your other castmates; in fact, you hadn't seen Colson once since your little rendezvous in the dressing room. This was probably a good thing because, after that heated kiss, you were sure you wouldn't be able to resist.

Once filming had wrapped for the day, you made your way back to the dressing rooms, still replaying the kiss from earlier in your mind. You were so caught up in your thoughts out hadn't even realized that you walked right past your dressing room door, opening your co-workers as your own.

You were startled to find Colson standing in front of you. Freshly showered in nothing but a small white towel. You could see the outline of his cock through the cotton fabric. It was enough to make you salivate. His eyes locked with yours, the look of lust on your face was apparent, and he reciprocated. The desire absorbed you; you knew that resisting him was no longer an option. That no matter how hard you tried, you wouldn't be able to curb the ache you felt for him until it was satisfied.

Before you could make the first move, Colson's lips were on yours. His kiss was hard as his arms wrapped around you, holding you close to him. His passion was contagious and electrifying. Colson pressed his body flush with yours, sucking on your lower lip as he ran his fingers roughly through your hair.

"Stop teasing and touch me," You demanded. With a smirk, Colsons' hands found your backside lifting you up. You wrapped your legs around his back as he pressed you hard into the wall.

"It's about damn time." He breathed. With his free hand, Colson wrapped your hair around his fist, pulling your head back with a slight yank. He took a second, admiring the view before leaning forward to press a soft kiss to your mouth, so lingering that it made your knees week.

"If we're finally going to do this, I want to hear you say it, y/n." Colson said, looking into your eyes, and without hesitation, you spoke.

"Colson, I need you."

You had a moment to catch Colson's groan before he crashed his lips into yours. You moved frantically together, hands roaming each other's bodies and tongues exploring each other's mouths. Your dress was hiked up around your waist as Colson's hands wandered, feeling every inch of your body. His lips moved down your jaw, his hips grinding into yours. The rub of his bulge against the fabric of the lingerie you had taken from set sent a rush of need to your core, causing you to buck your hips into him.

"Do you feel what you do to me y/n?" Colson growled as he grabbed your hand, guiding it down to the space between you both. "What have you done to me every single goddamn night since I've met you?" He asked, rock hard against your palm. Colson let out an agonizingly sexy groan in response to your touch. You rubbed your hand up and down the length of him, straining hard against the fabric of the towel around his hips. You squeezed your hand around him, stroking slowly. Colson's groans quickly turned to grunts, deep and sexy, until his hand abruptly stopped yours.

"Y/n, you're going to make cum before I even get you naked." He admitted with a slight chuckle. With one smooth move Colson hoisted you into his arms, shifting your weight away from the wall. You locked your ankles around his back, and he carried you across the room. His mouth latched to the skin of your neck.

"Are you marking me, Colson Baker?" You asked seductively. Colson growled low in his throat.

"You haven't seen anything yet, princess." He avowed, tossing you on the chaise lounge. His eyes roamed the curves of your body, still covered in the fabric of your sheer dress. You leaned back on the chair, your skirt hiked up enough to show a peek of the panties beneath. Colson groaned as he dropped to one knee on the lounge so he could lean over you. His eyes were electric as he took in your body. Eyes locked with his, you slowly removed your clothes, tugging your dress over your head and letting it fall to the floor. Colson took in the lingerie that he had picked out for you, his eyes traveling hungrily over your body.

"Seeing you laid out like this in the lingerie that I picked out, it's hard not to feel like. . ." Colson trailed off in thought.

"Like you have a claim on me?" You guessed what he was thinking, and Colsons eyes darkened.

"Exactly like that. It's not a feeling I want to let go of." He remarked. "As much as I love it. . . let me see you without it."

You slipped the straps off your shoulders, watching Colsons eyes follow the movement. You slowly removed the lingerie as he watched your every move. Once you were completely naked, you leaned back on your elbows, biting your lip while looking up at him, waiting to see what he'd do. Colson leaned forward, his eyes locked with yours. His hands framing your body on either side of the lounge chair.

"I want to mark every part of your beautiful body," Colson went on, "after all of that teasing and waiting. . . I want you to think of me every time you look in the mirror." He said, running his finger gently down your neck, your chest, over your nipples. "I want you to see the places I've touched you."

"Do it." You begged.

Colson let out a deep, wild growl that sent a shiver down your body. He dipped down, running his tongue over your collarbone, punctuating the movement with a nip to your shoulder. He pressed a line of soft kisses over the line of your shoulder before his mouth slid up to leave another bite mark on your neck. You gasped at the feeling of his teeth sinking into the curve of your neck. Before the pain could register, Colson licked over the same spot, peppering your skin with kisses. You could feel the trail of marks he was leaving on your neck and down your chest. It stung with pleasure and a hint of pain. He slowly made his way down your body, biting the edge of your hip, almost hard enough to draw blood. A moan escaped your mouth, and you instinctively lifted your hips to meet him.

"Colson"

"Fuck y/n, you're better than any fantasy I could ever have." He marveled as he pulled back to look at you, his gaze full of lust and wonder. Colson tugged on your knees, dragging you to the edge of the lounge chair, your bent legs framed his hips. "I can't wait to taste you. Have you thought about that? What it'd be like to have my mouth on you?"

"I may have considered what it'd be like. . . or how good you'd be. . ." You admitted coyly.

"Trust me, I'm not one to disappoint." He promised. "I can't even tell you how long I've been waiting for this. How many dreams I've had with me between your thighs. . ." desire dripping from every word he spoke.

Colson hovered over you, connecting his lips with yours as your fingers moved down his back. He moved his lips down your body - your neck, your collar bone, your breasts - he left a trail of kisses down your stomach, over your hips, until he reached the place where you craved him most. You arched into his touch, wanting to get closer. Colson lifted his head, grinning wide.

"Eager, are we?" He smirked. Before you could even catch your breath, Colson'sColson's tongue was between your folds, licking you slowly. He looked up to meet your eyes, holding down your hips as his mouth found your bundle of nerves. He sucked your clit like a starved man, enjoying each moan and gasp that he pulled from you. Within seconds you were writhing underneath him as his tongue continued making you sing.

"Oh my god," you moaned, your hand finding its way into his hair. Colson slid a single finger inside of you, working perfectly in time with his mouth against your bud. It sent shockwaves down your body. The rush of pleasure pushing you over the edge.

"Fuck Colson!" You moaned.

"That's it, say my name." He coaxed you. Pulling back enough to speak, Colson used his hand to rub your clit in sharp circles, hard enough to drive you crazy. "Cum for me." He ordered, and your orgasm hit you like a wave, the pleasure shaking through you as you finally let go. You fell back onto the chaise lounge, spent.

Colson climbed on top of you, kissing you passionately. His fingers found their way between your thighs, teasing at your entrance before slipping, not one but two fingers inside. You gasped at the sensation. Colson rocked his hand in smooth, firm strokes, making you moan. He curled his fingers to reach the spot inside that makes fireworks explode behind your eyes. He pumped his fingers in and out of you at a faster pace leaving you breathless, hitting that particular spot every time.

You couldn't take it any longer. You ran your nails down his tattooed back, stopping at the only piece of fabric separating his naked body from yours. In one swift motion, you yanked the towel from his hips, making him grin.

"Since the day I met you, all I wanted to do was make you come undone around me," He said, sliding the underside of his cock over your wet center, giving your clit just a hint of the friction that you craved.

Colson pressed his cock over your clit one last time, making you moan before he positioned it against your entrance. He slowly pushed himself inside of you, one pleasurable, tantalizing inch at a time until you were completely full. Visibly restraining himself, Colson stayed still, letting you get used to the size of him. Both of you breathing heavily as you became familiar with the feel of each other. You rocked your hips up, pulling him in deeper. Tipping his head back in pleasure, Colson let out a groan.

"You're going to be the death of me," Colson mumbled before starting to move agonizingly slow, using all of his self-control. He slowly rolled his hips, pressing his pelvis down against your clit, making you moan.

"Do you want me to go faster?" He asked as he slowly pushed himself deep inside of you, brushing against that perfect spot.

"Y-yes," You stammered in between breaths.

"Tell me what you want," Colson demanded. You could see the tension in his shoulders; it was getting difficult for him to hold himself back. His strokes were slow and hard, sending electric sparks through your body - hot, but not enough. He was driving you crazy, and he loved it; you could tell by the smirk he was wearing.

"Want to hear your beg for it." He growled, sliding slowly into you again, stretching you, sending white-hot pleasure through your body. You could swear you saw stars.

"Please fuck me harder," You moaned. It was precisely what he wanted to hear. In a split second, Colson's self-restraint snapped. His hips moving faster, thrusting deep inside you. You let out a moan as you attempted to bring your hips down to meet his, but he set a frenzied pace, so hard that it took your breath away.

You gripped his shoulders, raking your nails down his tattooed back, hard enough to leave a mark. Colson let out a low growl as the knot in your stomach grew taut; you were so close. You closed your eyes, overwhelmed by the sensation.

"Open your eyes. Look at me while you cum on my cock." Colson's nails dug into your hips, and the mixture of pain and pleasure made that knot unravel. Your eyes shot open, meeting those familiar baby blues again.

Colson slammed into you hard and deep, making you scream his name as you fell off the edge, pleasure cascading through your entire body. Colson's lips found their way to yours, swallowing every sound you gave him. The feeling of your release around him causing him to cum even harder, your mouth engulfing his groans. He pulsed inside of you, releasing himself and all the built-up tension from his body until the only thing left between you was heavy breathing.

"Fuck." Colson groaned, lying motionless on top of you for a moment, too fatigued to move. Once he caught his bearings, he rolled off of you, laying on his back next to you. A quiet chuckle escaped his lips.

"What's so funny?" you probed.

"Before you walked in here, I was trying to figure out how I was going to keep myself from accidentally busting while filming our sex scene next week." He answered, still chuckling to himself. His response made you laugh out loud.

"And what makes you think you won't? The sexual tension could easily build back up by then." You challenged him.

"Oh, I have every intention of doing this again" He pointed between you two.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah," He responded, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek, "I thought that your laugh was my favorite. . ." He continued, moving to gently kiss your lips. "but now that I've made you moan. . ." He trailed off, moving down to kiss your neck, sucking just enough to draw a quiet moan from your lips. ". . .I plan on hearing it many times before then" He smirked, and just like that, the insatiable sexual desire to fuck the hell out of Colson Baker returned.

#fucklust #colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker x reader #colson baker smut #smut #insatiable #hot #mgk smut #mgk imagine #mgk x reader #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly smut #mgk x reader smut

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reigenhusband · 3 years ago

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Psychic Wedding Time!

Art by @/cowboyologist

After months of holding back, we finally tied the ole knot! Me and the conman are officially hitched today September 10, 2021!

This silly little blonde anime man means an awful lot to me and its really more than I can say. These months with him have been a great help.

When I went through some of the roughest things I've ever gone through, I had him to think about for comfort. He is a little part in what keeps me going and I wish I could thank him for everything. He sparks a lot of joy so I think I'm gonna keep him!

I've never been happier and I'm so lucky to call him husband! He's had such a positive impact and I love him so, so much.

Special thank you to my friends and of course our son Mob who carried the rings!

Under the cut is a little fic about getting ready for the wedding. Thanks everyone for your support!

Reigen squinted at his reflection, dark eyes hauntingly focused on a strand of hair that didn't take to the product he put in it. A grunt of dismay rumbled low in his throat.

"Um…Reigen?"

"Just a second, Serizawa. Almost got it."

The taller man's voice wavered but he managed to hold fast and keep his confidence. Reigen could almost hear his hands wringing.

"Er...Well. Its just...you've been staring at yourself for a little over 20 minutes now and you haven't moved and…"

Reigen sucked his teeth and pressed his palm firmly to the side of his head. Damned strand of hair! Slick like the rest of it! Don't you know know day it is?!

"What I mean is..! Are you alright?" Serizawa finally asked, his voice heavy with concern. "Since it's your wedding and all I figured you'd be nervous but you seem really on edge. Is something bothering you?"

The blonde twitched.

"W...what are you talking about? Of course not! I'm calm and-" He stopped abruptly and slammed his hands flat on either side of the mirror, his eyes wide and bloodshot upon inspection of his suit. A fleck of black thread pervaded his white vest and he looked around frantically for the lint roller. "You thought you could hide but you can't best Reigen Arataka." He muttered as he furiously went over his all but pristine wedding attire.

His best man scratched his own cheek nervously and looked on with clear uncertainty. "If you're sure."

Once he was satisfied after a thorough inspection and having Serizawa scrutinize the back, he dropped into a chair. Nearby was a table decorated in what was probably a thousand congratulatory flowers from clients. He exhaled and stared a hole into the arrangement of colors. His heart was pounding. His brow, coupled with his hands, were visibly slick with chilled sweat. His stomach was full of stones.

He met his own gaze in the mirror again. He looked well kept and yet...disheveled at the same time. Come to think of it, his face was flushed the shade of his usual pink tie. The last 3 days without sleep also hollowed out dark circles under his eyes. His shirt collar began to feel more and more constricting as time went on no matter how much he tugged on it.

Maybe he really was scared.

He didn't doubt that he loved Mitty. In fact, he wanted to be with him more than anyone. A case of cold feet wouldn't change that. It was himself he was wrestling with here.

Spirits, monsters, and deadly espers. He'd faced them all and came out on top. But they were nothing compared to these looming expectations to be a person to rely on. This wasn't something he could bullshit his way through. This was marriage. Mitty was going to see the warted underbelly of when he was Reigen the man instead of Reigen the psychic. His fiancé was going to experience sides of him he only revealed when he was alone. Would he still like him even then?

Reigen was good at a lot of things but this had to be the one that counted most. Could he really be a good partner forever?

Was he really going to cut it as a husband?

"Hey, Serizawa?" Reigen asked, not looking at him.

The man's shoulders lurched at his name suddenly being called. He straightened his back. "Oh! Yes sir?"

"Do you think we'll be good together?"

Silence sat heavily for a moment. Every second felt longer than the last.

His friend seemed taken aback by the question but nonetheless looked at the ceiling as though collecting the right words to answer. "Well…"

Another moment passed and Reigen waited with his hands clasped and breath baited.

"I've never been with anyone so I can't say for certain what a good relationship is but," A compassionate smile spread across the esper's face before he continued, visibly more sure of his words. "I think you and Mr. Mitty understand each other. You always seem to know what the other is thinking. You motivate each other to be better and you seem happy when you're together. And...and you trust each other too. And I think that's whats important."

Reigen looked at the velveted floor. "Then…"

"You've become more honest by being with him and he talks like you're really important to him. So please...get married if it makes you both happy! I think you can really be something!" His friend was beaming with

what Reigen could only say was genuine assurance.

"I really believe you'll take care of each other."

His co-worker actually really was resourceful. Maybe someday he ought to pay him more. The uncomfortable feelings waned slightly and his shoulders slowly slacked. Mitty was waiting for him so now wasn't the time to lose it.

After a few seconds of letting his feelings iron themselves out, he stood and smoothed his hands over his suit jacket. "Well alright then. If thats what you think then I guess there's no backing out of this one."

Serizawa pressed his hands together in delight. "YES! I've got your back, Reigen!"

The door into the hallway opened and a set of black eyes peered into the room. "Master, It's starting. Are you coming?"

The jarring announcement had him scrambling to fix the piece of hair he'd been fussing with.

"OF COURSE." He jabbed his thumb into his own chest to feign total confidence. "Right behind you, Mob!"

He held his breath. Alright, let's do this.

Mitty POV

Teal eyes darted around the room carefully.

"Hey...Dimple? You there?"

The whizzing of the spirit materializing buzzed next to his ear.

"Yeah whaddya want? You're on soon, aren't you?"

Mitty jabbed his right hook into the air where the voice was coming from. "AGH WHAT THE HELL?"

A swift flash of green dodged his reach.

"HEY, why are you hitting me?! You asked for ME, remember?" The ghost clucked his tongue in disapproval and floated a few inches away for safety.

"WELL MATERIALIZE WHERE I CAN SEE YOU, YOU BIG BOOGER! I'm on edge!"

"On edge? What for? You're the one who wanted this, right?"

"W..well….yeah, sorry." He looked at his clenched fist and opened it. "...sorry." He said again more thoughtfully this time.

Dimple raised a spectral eyebrow. "Whats wrong? Having second thoughts? I mean it's Reigen so who can blame ya."

Mitty scowled while straightening his tie in the mirror. "Hey! REIGEN'S…." His voice softened closer to a whisper. "A pretty good guy. Get off my case. Aren't you supposed to be my support? You're being kinda harsh!"

"Well kid, something is obviously on your mind so let's hear it. Wedding starts soon right? Yeesh. Once you do all this he's your problem forever."

"I'm not worried about him!! I'm more worried about...me."

"About you? What're you talkin' about?! You're too good for him!"

"Thanks for the flattery. You still can't have my body though."

"Well I didn't want it anyways, ya bastard. You're weak compared to Shigeo. I'm just being honest here!"

Silence.

"So? Out with it, What did you want anyways? You're talking nonsense here!"

Mitty wrinkled his nose in discomfort. "I just needed to ask something. But you can't run your mouth off like you always do, you old gossip. You're like a knitting circle."

"TCH. like I'd blabber your business to someone. It's all so boring."

"Yeah, yeah just listen, alright?!"

Another few seconds passed. "So? Say it. We don't have all day, you know."

He was looking at his hands again like he was somewhere far off. "Well. D...D'you think I'll be good at this?"

"Good at what, exactly?"

"Being married."

Dimple's form rippled with thought. "You're seriously worried about that?"

Mitty was going to make a sharp remark but his head dropped and his face buried into his knuckles. "Yeah."

Dimple deflated slightly in exasperated defeat. Humans could be so ignorant.

"Listen. That fraud never shuts up about you. You think you're not good enough? You should hear him talk. It's annoying how you both don't realize things."

"Realize things?"

He sighed and shrugged his tiny arms. "I hear everything whether you like it or not. You two idiots never stop talking and moaning about the other is too good for the other. It's getting old, really."

"HUH? He says that? No way! But he's always beaten me at everything! I always thought he was way out of my league."

"Kinda the opposite actually but...sure. What I'm saying is…! You're both seeing the best parts of each other. Keep doing that and it'll be smooth sailing."

"Yeah but...what if he stops seeing the best in me?'

"You planning on making things hard?"

"Not really. I just know I can be difficult to deal with."

"So is he. You really think you got this far because Reigen's all roses and sunshine? 'Course not. You've seen all the stuff he does and you still like him, right?"

He certainly was flawed, that was for sure. Mitty spent most of Reigen's antics with his eyes rolled up in his head but that didn't mean he wasn't enjoying the moment either.

"Right."

"Then it's the same for him. Sure it won't always be fun but that phoney won't give up on you just because you're annoying. He's way too persistent. It kind of ticks me off."

I'm annoying??? That stung but he shook it off.

Reigen was going to have to deal with him for the rest of his life once they said the right words. But if Dimple was right...would it be so bad to annoy each other for the rest of their lives if the other was willing to put up with it?

Reigen seemed okay with it so far. Mitty would just have to listen to him make a fuss about his coffee table clutter until he died. But really, he wouldn't have that any other way. His voice was kind of cute when he hit that inhuman octave he had when he was in disbelief.

The door from the hall swung open and a blond clad in what was perhaps the most blinding and loud suit he had ever seen poked his head in.

"Oh, You're still in here? It's bad luck to be late on your wedding day! Master Reigen is waiting. " He cocked his head to the side. "Or did you need some help with your suit? Its looking a little plain."

Hanazawa. This kid would try to accessorize his suit in the worst way possible. He put up his hands to wave him off.

"N-nah, kiddo that's alright. I'll be right there."

Hanazawa, after a few more attempts to get Mitty to let him help retreated back into the hallway. When it was quiet again he eyed Dimple. He was abrasive and unpleasant. He always had a motive for everything and rarely had something nice to say.

But he came through when it mattered.

"Hey Dimple?"

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Thanks."

Dimple wouldn't meet his eyes and levitated towards the hall. He didn't want to acknowledge he was helping, he supposed. It was in character for that tsundere blob.

"You ought to get out of here now if you wanna make it on time."

He stood and dusted himself off.

"Welp. Here goes everything."

#i only have access to mobile so the format for everything is so ugly but HIIII ITS MARRIAGE TIME #i wanna write a fic of the actual wedding or what it entails later.#thanks for letting me be cringe #to any non selfship blogs that might be seeing this i am so sorry #I'll show the rings i had made later!!!#wedding mentions

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multiland · 4 years ago

Text

Mr. perfect.

pairing: idol!Joshua x reader

genre: angst

word count: 1.5K

summary: what do you do when the one who was always there to comfort you, is the one who now has broken you?

warnings: mentions of cheating, denial and heartbreak.

A/N: this sucks. I’m sorry.

When you first learned about love, you always tried to keep in mind that everything about it was ephemeral, that no matter how many happy endings you had heard about, there was no way someone could ever meet such expectations. To you, fairytales were nothing but that, a fictional scenario people created to give themselves hope, to try to find something good even when the so-called love they felt, hurt them more than any physical harm.

But then you met Joshua, and suddenly you found yourself believing in everything you had convinced yourself was nothing but a lie.

You met him on a Friday night at some fancy party your best friend had thrown. Being from a wealthy family, it was no surprise to you that you found some famous people there. You were nothing like them, but being attached to the hip to her since you were kids surely took you to some places you would’ve never thought you’d ever see.

Dressed in a skin-tight navy dress, you were minding your own business, playing with the martini in your hands as your eyes traveled across the enormous house. The music wasn’t the same kind people your age would put in the background, instead, there were some violinists and pianists playing live. You felt out of place, the fact that your friend had left your side to keep greeting people not helping at all.

And that’s when you saw him, walking through the door with some other guys in a beige tuxedo, black strands of hair hanging over his eyes and small silver piercings decorating his ears.

Your eyes were immediately drawn to him, as he stood there across the room with his hands in his pockets, clearly enjoying the music and focused on the musicians. That’s when somewhere along the lines his eyes had landed on you, the previously blank expression on his face turning into the smallest but sweetest smile for you, and you swore you had never seen a man that beautiful in your entire life.

You knew it was over for you as soon as those round and beautiful dark orbs made your heart go crazy, wanting to look away but not being able to. He had an instant power over you, and you didn’t even want it to be any different.

Somehow you exchanged numbers that night, and although you thought you would never see him again, he proved you otherwise when he started texting you the following days.

You started spending time together every now and then, going to some cafes or meeting somewhere more private. Knowing the reality of his situation wasn’t something easy, but you were soon so infatuated with him that you didn’t even think of saying no when he asked you out.

Being with an idol wasn’t what you had expected at all, but Joshua always made everything feel so safe, warm, and comfortable that everything seemed to be just so easy.

He was so attentive, caring, and loving that you, not even once, felt neglected. He called you every single night before going to sleep or messaged you in the mornings or during breaks.

If you ever felt bad, he always knew the right words to say, and even though you felt insecure about him being around beautiful women all the time, he was quick to ease your fears and make you believe there was no way in the world he would ever want someone who wasn’t you.

You felt wanted, beautiful, and loved. He was a prince, he was everything someone could have ever wanted. So gentle, sweet, always there for you no matter what.

He was the only one who was able to set your body aflame with a single touch, always feeling like you were flying whenever his arms wrapped around you and the smell of his cologne, so familiar, filled your nose and made you feel like everything would be okay.

The way he held your hand and kissed your knuckles when he drove, the way he always tucked strands of hair behind your ear, or the way he kissed you in the middle of saying something just because he couldn’t help but being so whipped for you, making you lose your mind with such a simple action.

His sweet, raspy voice in the mornings after he had spent the night; the way his pupils dilated whenever you wore one of his shirts with nothing underneath, the way he made love to you as soon as he went back home, loving you hard enough for you to feel the trace of his fingers and the taste of his mouth whenever he had to leave again. Fingers through his hair as his mouth swallowed your moans, fingertips digging on your burning skin, teeth sinking on the flesh as he took you to paradise.

The way you found relief in his lips, kissing like there was no tomorrow and feeling like you couldn't get enough of each other. His tongue making you delirious, electrifying every inch of your skin.

Everything that came out of his mouth was dripping with honey, because he never wanted to see you upset, because he was your serotonin, because he simply was the best thing that had ever happened to you, and you were the same for him.

Or at least, that’s what you thought.

That’s why you couldn’t process the words that were falling from his mouth that night, after a month of not seeing each other for his comeback and promotions, he had come to your house, but as soon as you met his gaze, you knew something was wrong.

But you never thought it’d be something so horrible.

He had appeared at your place to tell you he had kissed a female back dancer a week before.

“No.” You laughed humorlessly as you shook your head. “It’s impossible. That did not happen.”

His eyes were filled with hurt and remorse, the more he noticed your denial, the worse he felt.

“y/n… I- I’m so sorry… Fuck I’m sorry. I swear I love you. I’m such an asshole.”

“Joshua, please stop. This is not a funny joke.”

“How can you think I would joke with something like this?” He asked in frustration, running his fingers through his hair.

And you were well aware of it not being a joke in the slightest. The way you could feel cold sweat running down your spine and your stomach churn kept trying to pull your feet back to the ground. But you would try to trick the fate and desperately conjure the truth you wanted to take place.

“Because there’s no way you’d do something like that. You love me, right? You’ve done nothing but show me how much you do.”

Joshua swallowed, tears burning his eyes and threatening to fall.

“I do love you. More than anything.” He assured. “That’s why I’m here, that’s why I can’t stand the idea of what I did behind your back. I kissed someone else while you stayed home and gave me all of your trust.” He repeated. “I regret it every second because I know how much I just fucked up… But I can’t cope with the idea of you trying to dismiss it. I don’t deserve it.”

"Joshua"

He shook his head, stepping closer and grabbing your hands in his.

"Please, please don't give me a chance to stay by your side because I will not hesitate to take it and I don't deserve to be with someone like you." His voice was so sweet, so subtle despite of him saying something so devastating. His hand moved to tuck a strand of hair behind you ear like he always did, retreating as soon as the guilt attacked him again. "You're so beautiful, so smart, sweet and bright and I'm so, so in love with you. It kills me to know I just ruined everything with the woman I love the most in such a dumb way."

You noticed the way his eyes were getting watery, another thing that made you realize how real it was. You wanted to hate him and tell him how much of a dick he was, but nothing came out of your mouth. You just couldn't, although you knew you should have, you could not bring yourself to hate him.

“You- No, listen Joshua…” You trailed off, heart finally breaking in a million pieces as you tried your best to convince yourself that everything was nothing but a twisted dream. “I know you would never hurt me like that. You would never cheat on me. Why would you? That’s ridiculous! You know that I'd do anything for you, right? You know that I love you more than anything. We’ve always had this chemistry, this peaceful and beautiful relationship. You’ve never given me any reasons to be jealous or to feel insecure, someone like that wouldn’t go against his own preach.” You tried to reason, a bitter chuckle slipping from your lips as you wiped your tears “See, I know you’re just such a gentleman that you’d rather put the blame on your shoulders than say she was the one who took advantage of you and kissed you. You’re a gorgeous guy, it must be hard for people not to throw themselv-"

“Why are you trying so desperately to excuse my actions?" He interrupted you in distress. "Babe, I- I don’t deserve it. I was the one who kissed her. While we danced the atmosphere got tense, the adrenaline did not help, and I just had the impulse.” Joshua said lowly, the knot in his throat becoming thicker and making it hard for him to breathe. “I’m so sorry... Why can't you just blame me for what I did? Just tell me how much of a piece of shit I am, slap me, tell me you don't want to see me again. Call me a dickhead, the worst thing that happened to you, I'll take it all, because I fucked up.”

You forced yourself to step back, the air in your lungs slowly fading away as the void in your chest grew bigger.

“No... I- I can't... Because you would never do something so vile.” You smiled, not noticing the way your tears were already streaming down your cheeks. "You wouldn't throw all the beautiful things between us out of the window just to get your damn dick wet. Not when you told me so many times how you'd never want anyone else but me and I believed you because you looked me in the eyes."

Joshua pressed his eyes shut and took a deep, shaky breath as he stepped closer, but you stepped back.

"I do not want anyone else but you, but I stopped thinking and just let my primal self take control instead of considering what I got to lose."

"No!" You shouted. "You wouldn't! You're perfect!"

Joshua lowered his gaze to the floor, hands ballin into fists.

“I’m not perfect… I never was, I never will. No one is.” He whispered. "That's why I need to go before I keep hurting you. If you ask me to stay I will, and I can not let you accept me back."

And then you knew. The idea you had engraved in your head about love being a real fairytale was long gone, cause all it did was break, burn and end.

Your sweet boyfriend, the same who used to whisper how much he loved you against your lips, the same who washed your hair for you, the same who looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing in the world, was the same one who had stabbed you in the back.

Your lip quivered, and Joshua wanted desperately to wipe your tears away and hold you in his arms, but how could he? When he was the one who had hurt you in the first place, how could he ever fix up a heart he let down? He did not deserve to touch you ever again.

With a shaky breath, you forced the words out of your throat.

“That’s where the problem is, Joshua.” You said, voice cracking as his brows pulled together in confusion. “That’s why facing the truth will destroy every part of my being, that's why I will never be able to trust anyone again, that's why I don't want you to walk out the door. If you do, everything will be real, and the thing that would hurt the most is to realize all this time I stopped believing in my instincts, because I thought you were different, because I've always known perfection does not exist…" You explained, a small sob falling from your mouth and cutting you out before you continued. "But to me, you were perfect.”

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