#like can’t make my brain trust my friends even tho that’s so egotistical

[pasteljeon]

Egotistic (m)

Summary: The timing was never right. He loved you when you were kids, knees scraped and cheeks red. You loved him when pimples bloomed across his skin, voice cracking and he found solace in the scribbled lines in his notebook. The stars never seemed to align for the two of you, but perhaps it was because you were meant for someone else.

Childhood friends!AU, college!AU, friends with benefits!AU

Pairing: Namjoon/Reader, Yoongi/Reader

Warnings: a n g s t, fluff, non-penetrative sex (dry humping), thigh riding, finger kink (?), switch!yoongi, switch!reader, oral (female receiving), rough sex, namgi is bad at feelings & oblivious, unrequited love, daddy kink

Length: 4.4k

Notes: so this wasn’t really smut, mostly a mess of emotional constipation sorry sdkjsk i promise blood bound & crystal snow are still upcoming tho!! they’re both just much longer & will take more time to flesh out. hope you enjoy this, and please lmk what you thought of it!!

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Now

Yoongi hisses, jerking away only to be forced back as your hand grips his jaw tightly, though your touch is surprisingly gentle as you dab at the cut on his lower lip. Crimson tendrils seep through the frays of cotton, and you let out a faint sigh as the bag rustles, fingers reaching for sterile fabric.

“You idiot,” you fume, smoothing over ruffled ebony locks and cleaning the wound trickling from his temple. He reaches up silently, enveloping your hand, wincing when you press at the adhesive with slightly more vigour than necessary.

“I’m sorry.” His grip tightens as you flinch. He’s quiet, sorrowful. There’s a darkness wallowing in his gaze as he stares down at his lap. You can count on one hand the amount of times Yoongi has apologized. He never does without good reason.

“He deserved it,” you say firmly. He looks up, startled. “You know you don’t mean that.” He’s being kind. Yoongi has never pitied you, and you know he’s not going to start now. Still, you can’t deny the sting.

“I do.” You pull away from his grasp gently, and his arm drops to his side awkwardly as he watches you busy yourself with packing away the First Aid kit.

“But you’re mad,” he states.

“Yes, Yoongi, I should be mad. But I can’t. Not when you put yourself in that position for me. How can I possibly be mad at the fact that you wanted to protect me?” Your voice cracks, and you run a hand through your hair in frustration. Setting the medical equipment to the side, you pad toward the kitchen, footsteps muted.

“Because you didn’t need me to protect you,” he says, trailing after you.

“No, I don’t.” You agree, pulling out a cutting board. He takes a seat behind the island counter, grimacing as he slouches, bruises still tender over his ribs. He offers you a weary smile when you throw him a disbelieving look.

“But after everything that’s happened, the idea that you still wanted to baffled me,” you continue, shutting the refrigerator door close with your heel. Water soaks into the wood and the knife sinks into the peel, two thin scores set at the edge and wrapping the remainder to return to its cooler.

“Why?” He asks absently, propping his chin up. You drop the lemon slices into the warm brew, squeezing a line of honey before swirling the liquid with a spoon.

“Because you’re an idiot,” you mutter, sliding the mug toward him.

“That’s not answering my question,” Yoongi points out as he accepts the cup, sipping tentatively.

You don’t reply, hip resting against the counter as you hug yourself, blinking down at the hardwood floor.

“___.” His voice is suddenly pleading. The stool creaks as he pushes it back and makes his way around to stand in front of you.

“Please, I can’t do this anymore.” And it absolutely devastates you, the way his fingers tremble slightly as they take yours. “I can’t be with you like this. It’s all or nothing. I can’t be your remedy anymore. And the truth is, I haven’t been for a long time already.”

At that, you wrench yourself away, squirming out of his hold as you take a shaky breath. “Stop, Yoongi. Please. I can’t do this. Not tonight.”

“Then when? Because every time I’ve tried to bring it up so far, you’ve avoided me like the plague. If you don’t want me, then just tell me straight,” Yoongi exclaims, aggravation clear in his tone.

“Why are you doing this?” You ask, voice small.

“Doing what? Being honest with you? Someone has to, because clearly you can’t do it yourself. I’m tired, ___. Tired of playing pretend. Tired of dancing around the truth. You say you care about me, but you just can’t let go of him, can you?” He laughs, the sound hollow and exhausted. He grabs his hat from the counter, stuffing it on.

“I’m done, ___. I love you, but I can’t go on pretending that you do, too.”

The door clicks shut quietly, so unlike the thunderous slam you expected him to leave you with.

But then again, Yoongi has never even raised his voice against someone before.

And yet he raised his fists for you.

You clap a hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs.

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12 months ago

Love can be a poison as much as it is a balm. It does nothing to weaken the beating of your heart, rather accelerates it alarmingly, the yearning that blooms deep within that makes the nights away unbearable.

You are in love with Kim Namjoon. It is one of the many inevitable truths of this world; you are enthralled by the boy with a dimpled smile and boundless kindness. You have been since you were children. You watched him grow, voice cracking before evening out into a smooth timbre, every word that fell from his lips carefully chosen.

You remember the scarlet leaves fluttering around you, your head resting on his lap as he scrawled lines upon lines of poetry, claimed they were lyrics and said they were for you. You were young then, and scared. You should’ve kissed him when you had the chance, him looking down at you with those soft eyes.

The aching in your chest wraps itself tightly around your lungs, and it’s when you meet his gaze that it loosens for the first time in almost twenty years. His hair is tousled, a striking mint-green, and something in you seems to be familiar with the shape of his nose, the cat-like structure of his eyes. You cock your head, wracking your brain as you try to recall if you’ve ever bumped into him on the morning bus at any point.

The afternoon light streaming from the windows had his amber irises glowing a molten gold, and there is a flicker of recognition, mouth forming a smile as he stands from his chair –

“___! Meet my new roommate, Yoongi. Yoongi, this my best friend I’ve been telling you about.” Namjoon’s cheerful voice echoes from where he shoulders into the room behind you, one arm bracing around your waist as he squeezes in. You can feel yourself growing warmer as your cheeks darken furiously. Your hand comes up to press against your chest, and suddenly Yoongi’s lips are pursed and eyes distant as he offers you a shallow nod instead.

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6 years

“___!” You turn, and the boy collapses next to you, breathless and clutching the stitch at his side, but the way your luminous brown eyes sparkled and the beam that curved on your lips.

“You always leave me behind,” he sniffles, arm coming up to swipe at his face messily.

“Silly, I’d never leave my dumpling behind,” you tease, helping him up. He starts blushing again when you link hands with him, and you giggle to yourself, pulling him close. “’M not a dumpling,” he mumbles, pouting as he skips along.

“C’mon! Let’s get that gross green ice cream you like so much!”

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11 months ago

Namjoon falls in love in spring.

She’s from your physics class, a tall girl with long, slender legs and a doll-like complexion. She’s sexy, just the way he used to describe his ideal types. She also has a 4.0 GPA, so there’s really nothing about her you can really hate. She’s nice, and her teeth are blindingly straight when she smiles.

She’s probably a model.

You see Yoongi more often now. He and Namjoon have been working on their composition final for weeks now, and he seems to have given up the cold shoulder because he sends you a small smile whenever you drop by with takeout.

But you stop doing that, too, because it’s more of a girlfriend-appropriate thing, right?

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Now

Your voice trembles. “You lied to me. You’ve been lying to me this entire time, haven’t you?”

Namjoon sucks in a breath. “Yes. I have.” He’s extraordinarily calm, a strange gleam that almost resembles acceptance sparkling in those mellow brown irises you always thought housed a wise soul.

There are bandages littering his skin, too. Once, you would’ve been the one wrapping them for him.

“I trusted you. Fifteen years, Namjoon. How could you?” You cry, and he’s unerringly silent.

“I’m sorry,” is all he says finally. Is all he can really say. He’s stupid, has made all the stupid choices, made all the wrong choices, and it inexorably meant he would lose the one thing he’s been desperately grasping for this entire time. Should’ve used his heart, not his mind to play the games he wasn’t supposed to.

In the end, it made no difference.

“I wanted it to be me. I thought if it was me, it’d be different,” he says helplessly.

“It was,” you whisper. “I loved you so much. Loved you like there was nothing left of me. And even if you didn’t know, nothing you ever say will justify what you did to me. You played me for a fool.”

“I love you,” Namjoon buries his face in his hands. “I’m so fucking sorry, ___.”

“You have no right,” you say. “You have no right to say that, Kim Namjoon. And him? What about him? Did you ever think for one second how this would affect him?”

His head remains bowed.

“We can’t go on like this.”

“I know,” he nods miserably. “I know.”

You say goodbye to him, then. The boy you thought was your everything. The way he sits in the dark, silver locks outlining dimpled cheeks, it strikes you how unfamiliar he looks. Like a stranger, perhaps it is also true that you know nothing of him at all.

Namjoon watches you go, the way your fingers hesitate as they touch the bronzed metal, the way your shoulders twitch, as if wanting to turn around and offer him one last reprieve.

He lets go of you. The girl with pigtails, who held his hand at recess because he kept tripping over his two left feet, bumbling along beside him as he waddled around the playground, your soft humming of nursery rhymes lulling him into a wanderlust daze.

The girl who breathed life to his words, weaved his lyrics into stories, gave rhythm to his beats, carved light into his melodies.

The girl who grew her hair out, freed them from those plaits and hung them in silky waves, who brought him food when he forgot to eat, the 3 am McDonald runs during exam season.

The girl who helped him gain confidence during his teenage years, a mass of awkward, gangly limbs and pimpled forehead, an awful block style cut and perpetual sunglasses indoors because he was afraid he’d be judged for his eyes.

He says goodbye to the girl he fell in love with at the tender age of 8, the girl he stole from the boy who deserved her the most, the girl he deceived and the girl he’ll always regret losing.

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9 months ago

It starts at a party.

It’s a small one, with just your close group of friends. Spin the bottle is played, and it ends on him.

Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and suddenly they’re making out. Namjoon’s fingers are pressed against her waist, she’s on his lap and his tongue flicks hers lazily.

“Don’t look.” A husky voice whispers in your ear, and a hand covers your eyes. “Focus on me.”

Your heart leaps, and you nod.

“Oh! Can this be? Do I see my ship sailing?” Jimin cries out, and his hand slips off. “Spin the bottle, ___,” the dancer smirks.

You roll your eyes but obey, staring pointedly at the glass container despite the way Namjoon is drilling holes into your camisole with his eyes.

And of course it lands on the Slytherin-dyed composer.

He wordlessly leads you to the closet, blatantly ignoring the obnoxious cheering from your idiot friends.

“Thank you,” you say shyly when the door locks firmly behind him. He grunts. “Don’t mention it.”

His leans against the wall, hands stuffed in his jean pockets. He notices you studying him, and you squeeze your eyes shut when he reaches forward. You exhale when his warm palm cups your cheek. It’s calloused, fingers willowy and he thumbs your cheekbone.

“Don’t force yourself,” he murmurs. His voice is raspy, an edge of something like affection coating it sweetly. It does something to you. Makes you squirm a little, makes you nuzzle him and now he’s looking at you with half-lidded eyes, pupils blown out and he wets his lips. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, ___.”

“Yoongi,” you say, tangling the cords of his hood, pressing yourself close. “Yoongi,” you say again, the syllables of his name ghosting across his neck.

He dips his head and fits his mouth over yours. He kisses you languidly, as if committing the moment to memory. His fingers curl around your hip and he cradles you against the wall, his arms cushioning the fall.

For the first time, your heart beats fast for a different reason, head spinning and feeling a fuzzy kind of dizzy.

Your leg hitches over his thigh and you stifle a moan when he flexes, grinding against him. The coil in your stomach tightens and you nibble at his collarbone in order to smother a whine.

“Ride my thigh, baby,” he pants, and you swear you can feel the head of his cock brush against you. You rut against him, pace quickening as he suckles stars into the column of your throat, a breathy gasp escaping you as you come hard, head thrown back.

“W-what about you?” He gives you an embarrassed smile. “I kind of … came in my pants,” he admits. “You’re so incredibly hot, ___.” Though it strangely looks like he wanted to say something else.

You think he whispers something between kisses, and but it’s lost to you when the door is yanked open and there’s a round of hollering and whooping.

He takes your hand, and you let him.

You miss the way Namjoon’s jaw clenches.

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8 months ago

It escalates weirdly. Yoongi somehow becomes your not-actual-lover. Nothing written or discussed in real time, and yet you always somehow find him in your bed, legs intertwined and mouths attached.

Sex with him was usually wordless, the room filled with sighs and moans, silently communicated all you needed with your eyes alone. After a month, he could read you like an open book, play your body like a seasoned musician.

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6 months ago

You start finding more than just comfort in his body.

He begins texting you more often. He used to send you small things, reminders. It starts feeling domestic when he scribbles a grocery list at 3 am, silk sheets slipping from his bare torso as you kiss his bicep, peering down at the paper over his shoulder.

If you could pinpoint a moment of turnabout, it must be the morning he bashfully asks you to visit him at his studio after your classes. He mutters something about needing a second opinion, but you know better than that, not when there were six pairs of perfectly experienced ears out there to lend.

Instead, you smile brightly and kiss his cheek.

You swear he leaves with a little bounce in his step.

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5 months ago

It all comes crashing down one night.

The club is surprisingly classy, sweaty bodies crowding a vast expanse of a dance floor, the glass bar stretching horizontally from the side.

They should be charged with public indecency with the way her hand slips beneath his slacks and he’s fingering her rather conspicuously with that ridiculous slotted dress she’s wearing.

You beg Yoongi to take you home. You thought you were getting better. Distance was healing you, as was he.

He knows. He always knows.

Yoongi is merciless this time, tongue fucking you until you see galaxies blossoming against the lilac ceiling, kissing you with his mouth smeared with your juices.

His fingers dig into your soft flesh, leaving solemn reminders as he makes you scream and cry, daddy slipping out like second nature and suddenly his hips snap at a brutal pace and your fingers scrabble at the comforter, mattress creaking loudly.

He growls filth into your ear, obscenities that make you blush and you’re clenching around him and he’s gasping your name in a way that will haunt your darkest fantasies for nights to come.

He doesn’t stay, but he tucks you in and kisses your forehead anyway.

He dyes his hair black the morning after.

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4 months ago

Namjoon and the girl break up.

Your heart doesn’t leap at the news, and you just hug him sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Joonie. She’s the one that’s losing, not you.”

“I broke up with her,” he says flatly. He looks wrecked, hair mussed and clothes haphazardly thrown on.

“Oh,” you say, surprised. You’re at a loss, unsure of what else to add. He waits patiently, almost expectantly.

“So you and Yoongi, huh?” He asks abruptly.

You flush. “Yeah, it kind of just happened.”

“Are you guys together?”

“Not really,” you say awkwardly. You shift in your seat, uncertain of the maniac gleam in his eyes.

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Namjoon says suddenly.

“You’re the last person who should be saying that,” you tell him quietly. “He’s your friend, and I’m your best friend. I shouldn’t have to say anything more.”

He visibly wilts, fingers twitching. “I-I’m sorry. That was overstepping. And really rude of me. I have to go.”

His hurried departure and erratic behaviour worries you as you watch him practically sprint away.

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3 months ago

Yoongi lets you use him to drown your sorrow, quiet your demons. You know this. But you also know that it’s already begun to change. You’re just afraid of what it’s turned out to be.

“Damn it, ___,” he snarls, slamming you against the bed. You bounce harmlessly, arms pinned above your head. “Why do you think I let you use me? I wanted it, wanted you. Just for a moment, I could pretend you felt the same. Because while your heart beat for someone else, I couldn’t stop being yours for a single second. My eyes never wandered, stubbornly glued to you. Just aching to be a part of your galaxy.”

“Why do you sound like you’ve suffered all this time?” You whisper, lifting your chin up to brush a kiss under his jaw.

“Because I have,” Yoongi murmurs. “Because while you want me to fuck you senseless, all I want to do is worship you like the fucking queen you are.”

“Then do it. Show me, Yoongi.” You hook a leg over his waist, flipping him over, hands resting on his chest. His fingers trail down your arm, and he says, “I want more.”

You kiss him instead of answering, and he makes love to you. Movements gentle and gaze never leaving yours, his amber orbs soft and luminous. He threads his fingers through yours, and you ride him until dawn breaks.

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1 month ago

“Have you found your mystery boy yet?”

“Mom, what are you talking about?” You laugh, phone tucked between your ear as you swept the floor of your bedroom.

“The boy from the photo you used to always gush about!” She exclaims. “You used to be so adamant about finding him, saying he was your soulmate and that you promised you’d marry each other.”

You shake your head, chuckling. “That’s Namjoon, mom. I thought we established this already. He’s the only boy I’ve known since I was a kid.” Dumping the particles in to the trash, you stretch your arm underneath the frame to swipe at any missing spots.

“___, honey, what are you talking about?” She says slowly. “You didn’t meet Namjoon until you were eight.”

You stare down at the picture in your hands, gripping the cheap metal frame as you scrub the dusty glass. Your knees give out as you collapse onto the floor, the box lid rattling beside you.

“___?” Your ears are ringing.

“What was his name? The boy, what was his name, mom?”

“Hmm? I believe it was Yoongi.”

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6 years

He’s glued to his mother’s side, unerringly quiet as his eyes dart around, knuckles whitening. He’s a small thing, short and cute with a button nose and chubby cheeks.

You like him instantly.

Bounding up, you beam, sticking your hand out. “Hi! I’m ___. Welcome!”

His mother smiles down at you, nudging her son forward. He staggers toward you, cheeks ripening as he takes your pinky with his hand. “Hi,” he whispers. “I-I’m Yoongi.”

“Yoongi,” you echo. The boy flushes harder, shuffling his feet shyly. He kind of likes the way you say his name.

“C’mon, Yoongoo! Let’s go play!” He nearly flies across the room with the way you’re tugging at him, but the way you’re laughing has him forgetting all about his mom, who watches fondly as his lips slowly curl into a smile.

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2 weeks ago

“Do you remember what I used to call you when we were kids?” You peek up at him, body hot and chest pressing down uncomfortably. You’re lounging on his bed, picking at the loose threads of your sweater.

It’s the first time you’ve been over in a while.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket, filled to the brim with texts and voicemails from a boy you never thought you’d see again. You don’t know how to process all of this.

“Yeah, of course,” Namjoon says distractedly. He’s fiddling with his cell too, hunched over at his desk.

“What was it?”

“Just Joonie, wasn’t it?” He finally looks up, smiling.

The taste of copper fills your mouth.

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2 hours ago

They’re glaring at one another. They’re spitting at each other, anger filling lines of red, every word tightly laced with venom and underlying glass.

Yoongi throws the first punch. Sends Namjoon sprawling, clutching his cheek, eyes wide. Then he’s on his feet faster than either of you can blink.

It’s a bloody tangle of limbs being flung, and you’re begging them to stop, arms wrapping around Yoongi’s torso, pressing your face against his back as you implore, “please, Yoongi. Let’s just go home. It’s not worth it.”

“Stay the hell away from her. You sick piece of shit,” he chucks the words like wildfire. It burns Namjoon inside out, leaves him alone as you fuss over Yoongi, not bothering to spare him any further glances as you slip his arm over you and the two of you begin you trek home.

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Now

You pace nervously at his door, soles rubbing the wayward feline carpet raw as you rub your arm apprehensively. Chewing your lower lip, you can make out the distinct tones of the demo he sent you months ago, though you can barely afford to dimly register the surprise at the return of what was supposed to have been scrapped. You know he’s fiddling with it, with multiple windows popped, mouse clicking rapidly and headphones tucked firmly around his neck.

Taking a steadying breath, you press the doorbell rather timidly, the echoing bell trilling to let you know it has at least submitted your request. The music pauses, the sound of a chair rolling back, and slow footsteps.

You take a step back, heart racing and stomach roiling uncomfortably. Your body twists, thrumming like a livewire and you need to escape—

“___. What are you doing here?” His voice cuts you loose. Your lungs fill once more, and you exhale shakily.

His eyes seem to soften as he takes you in, the flush in your cheeks, the wild look in your eyes, the way your fingers clutch your chest, peeking from the sleeve of an oversized black sweater. His sweater.

“Y-you knew. This entire time, you knew,” you whisper.

“Yes.” Like Namjoon, the composition major doesn’t hesitate. But he’s not sorry, either.

“It was you all along,” you say with wonder. He nods again. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know if you remembered, or still cared,” he says simply. “Never could I have imagined that Namjoon would deceive you like that, though. If I had known, I would’ve told you.”

“I love you,” you say. “I’ve loved you since I was 6. I waited for you. All this time, I’ve been looking for you. And you were right here. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize. But I love you, Min Yoongi. I love you.” And he kind of staggers for a moment, blinking rapidly. And then suddenly he’s rushing to you, smashing his lips against you and it kind of hurts for a moment but then he gentles and he’s desperately trying not to lose it –

“I love you,” you repeat breathlessly when you part. His answer beam had you shoving the door closed with an elbow and pushing him back into his seat, straddling his lap. “Let me make it up to you, dumpling.”

“Fuck,” Yoongi laughs shakily. “I always hated that nickname.”

You kiss his embarrassment away, and he knows by the end of it, you’ll make him love it once more.

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“If I wake up and this was all just a dream, I’m really going to fucking cry,” Yoongi says matter-of-factly. He’s slurring his words, blinking at you sleepily, but you heart swells at the sight.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you promise.

He smiles.

[hermionesterrier]

More Than Human: Chapter 9 Liveblog Pt. 2!

Something about it made her look very feminine, and Butch held his breath a little longer before exhaling. He stared at her awhile, then realized she had just asked him something. 

He lets her playfully shove him. He's not even high but he's letting her think he is. He thinks it's the only way she'll open up to him. But he's watching her and observing her and he's focusing on every little move she makes. He's so painfully aware of her presence, of her proximity. He's thinking about how easy it would be to kiss her right then and there and he's careful enough not to blow the smoke he knows she doesn't like in her face. Oh Butch....he's so head over heels for her that it's just painfully obvious at this point.

Those quiet Green moments are part of the reason why I'm so in love with this ship. It doesn't need big love gestures to be epic. The text just lets them...be. The writing for them specifically is so unique that they make every scene they're in comforting yet electrifying. Kudos to SBJ 💚 PLEASE DON'T TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME

BOOMER WANTS BUBBLES TO SING AND PLAY FOR THE BOTH OF THEM I'M C R Y I N G

Protective Brick, battling the creeps away, one glare at a time xD

AHAHAHAHAHAHA BLOSSOM WANTS TO LICK BRICK OMG

BRICK AND BLOSSOM KISSING. HE. KISSED. HER. KISSSING. I CAN'T. DEAD. SEND. HELP. I REPEAT. BRICK AND BLOSSOM K I S S I N G!!!!!!!!

I am commenting from the grave kbye

Brick's gonna be very upset the guys ate his cereal

Despite the length, her hair still curled in circular, wavy patterns against the carpet, like black ink on a blank canvas. Butch is very artisty when it comes to his Buttercup thoughts isn't he xD

This scene KILLS ME I AM TALKING FROM THE GRAVE RN OKAY I CAN'T WITH THIS DAMN CHAPTER

Butch completely fascinated with Buttercup like wow too fucking cute

Mitch had said that they'd never done anything worth mentioning, which sounded stupid to Butch. He didn't understand how any guy could stand to keep his hands off her when Buttercup looked like this. Except him. But Butch was different. He didn't know how, but he was different. Uh huh sure Butch. It's definitely not you who can't stop staring at her and you're tooootally not attracted to her that you actually have to force yourself to stop looking nopppe not at alllll

Reds are a mess...more so Brick tho hehehehe 

Fuck it begins...watch as I curl into a ball and wrench my own heart out...

SHE IS SO HAPPY SO FUCKING HAPPY I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS NOPE SORRY NO

Buttercup, after a horrified moment's contemplation, reached for Blossom's glass of milk and sniffed it. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Smooth Bubbles lol xD

"No part of my brain is in that girl's body, I swear." The suspicion is real tho hahahahahaha

Awww @ the boys showing genuine concern over Brick ❤

Yea sure Brick because hormonal kissing totally normally shifts the earth like something heavenly and puts puzzle pieces into place like duh ofc....fucking idiot gives me headaches why are boys so stupid?

Boomer & Butch barged into Brick's room to keep him company and cheer him up with some weed even though they don't know what's wrong with him SINCERE BROTHERLY MOMENTS ARE MY BREAD AND BUTTER OKAY

Oh my god Blossom is so hopeful and waiting and making excuses for him and it's breaking my fucking heart 

This part is so triggering for me ngl I fucking hate it

FUCK YOU BRICK FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID PLAN HOW DARE YOU GIVE HER HOPE JUST TO CRUSH IT LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

SOMEONE HOLD BLOSSOM PLEASE THIS IS TOO PAINFUL I'M NOT OKAY

Crying does help

How could he ask her to just forget a moment in her life that was one of the happiest she'd ever experienced? I thought, she started, and then tried to stop, but it finished itself. I thought he liked me. FUCK MY LIFE I AM BAWLING

Oh man Buttercup's so concerned and Blossom's trying to get herself together and fuck I can't handle this

Stop stop STOP THIS FUCKING HURTS PLEASE STOP

Is it wrong that I feel just as betrayed and excluded as Buttercup? I feel so much for Blossom but that's her sister! And it's really unfair to exclude her like that especially since she knows she went through her own emotional breakdown after Mitch so she would understand....she IS her sister too :/ i'm very protective shhh

"...Okay. Is she okay?" Both of his brothers looked up at him. "Who?" Butch said sharply. "Is who okay?" Brick stared at Boomer, wide-eyed, one hand still on the doorknob. Can we just take a moment to deduce that Butch was definitely asking if Buttercup's okay? He got worried about Buttercup and no one can convince me otherwise nope na uh....AND BRICK YOU FUCK YOU BETTER BE WORRIED ABOUT BLOSSOM

And the first person Buttercup chooses to go vent to is....? #besties

Butch's "Whoa, whoa, whoa" totally reminded me of Noah Centineo, that's like his catchphrase! Anyone else think he'd make an awesome Butch? I already casted him in my head sorry not sorry xD

Buttercupppp :'(

Brick suddenly hated himself, more than anything. GOOD YOU SHOULD

IT'S THE ASTEROID SCENES I AM CHOKING GREENS WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME I SWEAR I LOVE THEM AND THESE SCENES SO FUCKING MUCHHHHH

Oh he's pissing her off real good oh god

A+ to Butch for instinctively knowing exactly what she needed 💚

"No boys are smart when it comes to girls." Truer words have never been spoken

"Why doesn't he like me?" Blossom mumbled, her tone childlike, plaintive. / Instead she kissed her sister on the forehead and whispered, "To Hell with him. I like you." I AM FUCKING C R Y I N G this is one of my absolute F A V O R I T E sister moments it is FUCKING PAINFUL AND BEAUTIFUL AND BUBBLES LET ME LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER ❤❤❤

Buttercup panted for breath, her muscles aching and joints sore. Butch was draped on top of her, his elbows shaking as he propped himself up; he, too, was panting. Her fist opened against his stomach, skimming along the tense muscle before gliding over that chest of his, rising and falling in an incessant, almost calming pattern of movement. She bumped her forehead against his shoulder as she pressed her cheek to his sweaty neck and whispered, "Thanks. I needed that." I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE SBJ I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE :D this totally threw me off the first time I read it ahahahahahaha panting sweaty touching muscle aching greeeeens *_*

I love how after they beat the shit out of each other they still have to make sure the other's okay xD

A small, slow smile worked its way onto his face. She watched it form, almost mesmerized at the gradualness with which it appeared. Like how Butch stared at her smile in those photos and videos? Is this his head over heels in love smile? :D

"Don't see your bra showing." "I like to let it all hang out there, you know." That cracked me up hehehehe

Butch actually apologizing for staring at a pretty girl's boobs? That's a first xD

SHE SAW THE STARS REFLECTED IN HIS DEEP GREEN EYES LIKE WHO THINKS THAT ABOUT SOMEONE THEY CONSIDER "ONLY A FRIEND" HUH???

Butch reeeeeally doesn't like her hair long...and what it represents to him.

This whole scene is everything okay like they're just (ironically considering what they'd just finished doing) so fucking gentle with each other and so quietly comfortably touchy and total comfort zone like I LOVE EVERY LITTLE THING ABOUT THIS SCENE E V E R Y T H I N G greeeeeens 💚💚💚

Yup Buttercup knows, Blossom. She gets it. She understands

I'm better than that, she thought again, jaw set and face hard. I'm stronger. DAMN STRAIGHT LEADER GIRL!

Oh my god Brick fuck off and grow up! You chose to reject the best thing that's ever happened to you so deal with the consequences....idiot.

I still feel bad for him even though I harp on him so much ngl xD BUT WTF IS WRONG WITH HIM LIKE HE'S ACTUALLY UPSET THAT SHE DOESN'T LOOK MORE UPSET WHAT DO YOU EXPECT YOU EGOTISTICAL MORON WTFFFF

Only Blossom would use the 3 day rule to force her sisters into doing their homework hehehehe

Brick you grinch, leave the Blues alone not everyone has to be as miserable as you are.

Brick almost went after him, ready to beat some God damn sense into him, because fuck, what did Boomer know? What did he know about anything? He didn't get that this was all his stupid teenage emotions getting in the way of rational thought, that he was blinded by affection for her, and she had no idea, she wasn't looking at him, she wasn't talking to him, no matter if she was only doing exactly what Brick had suggested they do— STOP PROJECTING YOUR ISSUES ONTO THE BLUES YOU ASSHOLE YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF AND BROKE MY BABY'S HEART....this was so well done and human though kudos sbj :D

Wait is that the first time Boomer's said the L word seriously? B A B I E S

"Something tells me Brick's not going to get a lot of things," Bubbles said cheerfully. Like a girlfriend. Shots fired :D

Oh my god Boomer is KILLING MEEEEEE LITTLE BOY BLUE LET ME HUG YOU

He's so insecure and he feels like not even Bubbles trusts him to be strong enough to handle shit. I see where he's coming from and him being so upset is making me so upset :'(

She hadn't realized how much of a little boy Boomer was, how much he bought into this idea that he was the dumb one who couldn't do anything, to the point where he assumed everyone thought that of him and resented them for it. :'(((

He is a little boy who actually doesn't know any better. Man the boys' upbringing was so messed up and they're still teenagers.

BUT SHE DIDN'T TELL HIM TO GO HOME AND HE FOLLOWED HER ANYWAY AWWWW BUTCH YOU BIG SOFTIE 💚

Aaaand Boomer told Bubbles. Now the only one who doesn't know about JS Inc. is the one who probably shouldn't know....I feel like this is gonna blow up when she finally finds out.

SAY BYE TO YOUR MULLET BRICK AHAHAHAHAHAHA

All the haircuts though...symbol for the boys' character evolution or a big change coming up?

ROBIN WEARING MIKE'S JACKET!!! I love these little throwaways for them. THOSE TWOOO ❤

Sidenote: 3 guesses who Mike was looking for in the prom chapter :D

Watch as Brick turns into a big baby craving attention *rolls eyes*

"I'd rather kiss Brick than you," Butch sniped at Boomer. "Holy crap, I'd pay twice as much to see that happen!" Buttercup shouted, raising both hands, and the rest of the girls whooped and hollered. HOLY SHIT YESSSS PLEEEEASE GIMME *_*

I would also pay to see Butch and Buttercup kiss just putting that out there...

Buttercup's inner panic at the possibility that Butch might kiss her tho xD

HER SHOULDERS GOT TENSE WHEN BUTCH KISSED ANOTHER GIRL TELL ME THAT ISN'T A SIGN OF JEALOUSY I FUCKING DARE YOU

Butch licked his lips thoughtfully. "Cherry soda." He winked at Julie as he sat down, and as Buttercup stared furtively at him it seemed to her that he was avoiding meeting her eyes. Hmmm am I overthinking or is Butch feeling kind of...guilty or ashamed that he kissed someone else?

Coincidence or use of powers that Butch's spin landed squarely on Buttercup?

SHE'S DOING IT! SHE'S ACTUALLY FUCKING DOING IT OH MY GODDDD THAT'S SO LIT HOLY SHIT

A few of the other guys voiced their hearty thanks to him. Butch, meanwhile, stared at the full bowl, the image of Buttercup's jaw, open wide and with her cheeks slightly sucked in, playing over and over again in his memory. He suddenly felt a strong, strong craving for cherries. SCREAMS INCOHERENTLY!!!!!!!

Buttercup kisses Brick. Was talking about Brick contemplating the kiss with my best friend (shoutout! 💚). She was saying she's hoping it doesn't turn into a cheesy love triangle or some shit like that but I really don't think SBJ will travel down that road....hopefully xD

Butch is pisssssed af hehehe...wonder if this will come back later.

Let Him come, Bubbles thought, her face hardening for a second, for one brief moment where she forgot to keep it inside, to herself. He can bring it. Let Him try. She focused on Boomer's bright expression, on that happy smile, and summoned up a cheer. Let Him come, she thought again. Her hands tensed, gripping the cushion of the couch. He won't take Boomer from me. I won't let Him. I swear to God, I swear, if He lays a hand on Boomer, if He so much as touches a single hair on his head, I swear I will make Him regret it. I am very much looking forward to that point in the future where Bubbles goes all ~haaardcooore on Him's ass to protect Boomer :D

TEENAGERS HAVING FUN YAYYY

That ended on a pretty depressing note though :(

AND NOW COMES THE NEWEST CHAPTER THAT I HAVEN'T READ YET

God help me when I'm done with it because I will probably be a m e s s

Time for you to join the dark side!

[tumblunni]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tfw u have another game idea AGAIN i think my brain hollowed itself out for more idea space at the expense of everything else like ability to actually create my ideas or ability to remember to eat :P

this kinda isnt a NEW idea, its just something floating around in my brain that ive now got more of a concrete idea for, i guess? playing Oxygen Not Included reminded me of it and made me feel maybe people would actually be interested in it, yknow? and its probably not something i could ACTUALLY make, cos it’d require like.. a lot of my own programming. not really easy to just make in a helpful gamemaker enginey thing like rpgmaker. tho it is an rpg... kinda...?? ehhhh im not feeling very good today, sorry my writing is... bad

ANYWAY WHAT WAS I SAYING

Well the idea I has was for kind of a roguelike tower climbing rpg, like Azure Dreams or Persona 3 The premise would be that there’s a mysterious underground civilization, trapped for generations with no memory of the surface world. Between them and sunlight is this potentially-infinate magical labyrinth that nobody has managed to make it through. (At least as far as anyone knows. Everyone wants to believe that friends who dissappeared in the labyrinth actually made it to the other side, rather than.. well.. the other side.) So the game would be about tackling this labyrinth in multiple short sessions. My favourite genre: roguelikes that actually have some form of progression in them! Even though you’re dying a lot, you retain a small amount of what you gathered each time in the form of townbuilding progressyness and ~friendship routes~ and ~ETCETERA~!

But then after playing Oxygen Not Included I kinda have a burning desire to see a game that has the good bits of that and not the... Frustration. To say its a roguelike without progression is understating it, gahhhhhhhhhh! Roguelike sim game of 8 hour game sessions that get destroyed cos of one stupid mistake and you have to be all perfect and lucky and YOURE ALWAYS STARVING and gahhhhhhhhh THIS IS MEANT TO BE MY GAME IDEA NOT VENTING ABOUT THAT GAME Anyway I was thinking how it’d be really cool if a game like that actually DID have a sense of progression. And an actual end goal. Like.. if you were actually digging towards the surface! With periodic savepoints and characters that dont die so easily and have more personality to them and you get all attatched! I already got all attatched to my dumb sim characters and then just got really upset how they kept dying and the game seemed to not give a shit :P

But yeah its not like I can just completely copy that game, lol. Even if I wanted to, I dunno how to program a simulation type engine thing from scratch! So i was thinking like.. a regular roguelike randomized dungeon generator actually IS possible in Rpgmaker, so I dunno.. I could find a way to make that work with some kind of ‘you are actually creating the dungeon’ type thing. i really like the idea of being able to dig your own path through the thing and have it permenantly etched there forever. I was thinking it could be an awesome idea if in the postgame you could come back to the now-empty labyrinth after everyone’s escaped to the surface, and be able to walk through it and have a big ol nostalgia trip. One that’d be unique to every player! And like.. maybe even be able to see changes, like it being reclaimed by nature and flowers? And you could upload a dungeon seed for your own personal dungeon, so that other players could play it, and that could be the postgame replay value~!

game name ideas i guess Catacomb Crawl Boundless Down

and I was thinking the protagonists could be two kids and be a grumpy older sibling who’s a jerk to their well-meaning-but-immature lil sib, but loves them deep down, and has to learn a lesson about becoming a more responsible sib, and etc like.. yeah.. basically inspired by over the garden wall i didnt really like that show, and i felt bad about it cos everyone was telling me it was a masterpiece. alas! :P aaanyhoo they’re not very developed yet, except older sib being a bit of a comical greedy coward type of person and lil sib actually being quite wise but always underestimated. Like, they have more common sense than their big sib even though they are a lil naive sometimes cos theyre so optimistic. Both sibs get each other into trouble pretty often, but they balance out perfectly to save each other each time! And lil sib is kind of a pushover who just obeys big sib unquestionably and can never stick up for themself when big sib is being all ‘ugh ur so immature im totally better'. They’re just like... the sort of person who’s so scared of their friends leaving them that they let anyone hurt them as much as they want as long as they stay. Very relateable to Bunni! Also they sorta try and pretend to be the dumb sidekick and class clown. Cos again theyre worried if they disagree or try and stand out too much then their sibling will hate them. Quite often their ‘dumb mistakes’ are actually the older sib’s fault, and they’re stuck like ‘AAAA I CANT TELL THEM TO STOP COS ITD BE OUT OF CHARACTER. I NEED TO BE THE CUTE BABY.’ And its all super complicated cos older sib acts like they resent them for never growing up too, its like.. cant ever win. This whole thing has kinda turned them into an anxious mess deep down. part of big sib’s whole redemption arc would involve them having to realise that their actions arent harmless, and treating such a young child this way actually has a permenant effect. And like... big sib doesnt know how to take care of little sib on their own because they’re immature themself! Being able to admit that instead of trying so hard to be all fake ultra mature and infallible, thats another big character arc. As well as aknowledging that lil sib is indeed growing up and becoming someone intelligent and independant. And realizing that the reason they keep putting them down is so they can try and deny that, and the reason they’re denying it because theyre JEALOUS! Jealous that little sib might have their emotions more alltogether than them, scared that their emotionless facade of perfect big sibness will be broken, and scared that without that they’ll have nothing left. Need to become more comfortable with trusting and relying on your lil sib, need to actually talk to them about this stuff, yo! Ideally I’m gonna try and write it in a way that doesnt make big sib seem like a completely hateable villain. Their backstory is gonna involve being from not exactly the nicest family, and both struggling to escape what they’ve been shaped into. And trying to learn how to take care of each other as a real family, when they have no real frame of reference for what real love looks like. And also climbing a bigass tower to save humanity from being entombed underground, but that’s comparatively easy, lol! But yeah the idea is that big sib kinda absorbed more of their bad parents’s ideals, and like... they love their sibling so utterly and deeply because they just did not know what family love felt like until they came along. And it really REALLY hurts them whenever they realise they’ve been subconciously being neglectful or hateful towards the lil fella, but theyre so distracted by like.. the greed of being free now. And doing anything and everything, drunk on that freedom! And not really being capable yet of caring about other people when they havent even learned how to care about themself. They keep being all decadent and delinquent and it seems like theyre egotistical but still deep down they HATE themself and this is all just like a ‘fake it til you make it’. And its so easy to get caught up and go too far to try and put on this facade, and they feel they cant really vent their real feelings to anyone. Cos they’re super cynical dont trust anyone except sibling loyalty like. Only way to survive! And like... cant talk about it with the sib either, because little kid wouldnt understand, and if they do then that means theyre not little anymore. They dont wanna ruin lil sib’s childish innocence cos like.. that innocence is their only reason to live. Innocent stupid bastion of family love, came into their life and gave them the courage to deal with those shitty parents gahhh! And part of them ‘knows’ that the only way to love anyone is to be deluded and innocent. You have to be too stupid to realise that the world is awful and everyone sucks and loving people just gets you hurt! And big sib is toooootally smart cos they know that life is meaningless. But they’re entertained by seeing a stupid person stupidly believe in optimism. Totally. Thats the only reason they wanna protect that innocence. Totally. sooooo basically imagine a very mentally ill mess of a preteen that’s curled up in the corner crying perpetually within their own mind, while on the outside they’re all HA HA I’M AMAZING, BITCHES And also imagine that bunni is able to write good enough to explain these damn characters aaaa im very tired im sorry

anyway summary: protagonist is a jerk, Character Development: The Game, you will cry for little sib whom is basically like penny from inspector gadget also I was thinking maybe this could be the one and only time I do the Amnesiac Protagonist Cliche Setup. eeeexcept not really?? well i mean I think it’d work cool if these characters were new to this setting, but I wouldnt actually do 100% amnesia thing I was thinking more like... they are the only two people who came from the outside world. And they just can’t remember how they got here, they wake up trapped in this place and everyone thinks theyre crazy for talking about being from somewhere aboveground. So you have an even more desperate motivation to escape compared to everyone else! I mean of course everyone wants to return to the surface, but its been so long that no-one remembers what it’s like, and so many attempts have failed that they’ve all given up. So you can act like a beacon of hope and lead the people even though you’re just a child. Like, this is about a morally bankrupt trash protagonist being dragged kicking and screaming into heroism, lol And of course we can have some good ‘ol mystery amnesia reveal type plot thingies! But without having to have a protagonist who’s COMPLETELY clueless, and a game beginning with no direction whatsoever. Its more like a ‘trapped in another world’ story except its the same world just a few thousand miles underground, lol. And revealing how exactly they got there and what they’ve forgotten is gonna be a plot, yes, but also there’s the bigger mystery of what on earth this doom labyrinth is and what caused these poor people to be trapped in it! And what they’ll even find when they finally reach the surface again, will it really be the sort of paradise they’re all hoping for? also many tears for sad dysfunctional tiny family of awkward childrens, ye also (hopefully) fun dungeon gameplays

so yeah bunni is tired and delirious and rambling Thoughts at you dunno if anyone was interested in any of this, but there you go!