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nanasarea · 5 years ago

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Lee Donghyuck/Haechan as your bff

Genre: crack fluff

Pairing: Haechan x reader

Prompt: Haechan being a brat but you love him that way

Word count: 1001 (currently the longest in the bff series omg)

a/n: what is proof reading? i dont know her

Jaemin / Jisung / Renjun / Haechan / Chenle / Jeno

no one asked but this is my fave fic I’ve written so far 🥺

there’s this cafe you always went to

and so did he

you always fought for the best seat

you don’t know when it happened

but both of you would race to get to the seat before the other

sometimes something would come up

and you’d curse at it

bc now you can’t beat him to the seat

but it’s okay

bc the next time, the same happens with him

first it was just about the seat

but then it was about being competitive

he’s a gemini sun and a leo moon what do u expect

so being able to see his pout when you beat him to it

was the small victory you craved for

and the smirk he had on his face when he beat you

was the most annoying thing you’ve ever seen

one day, you saw him come into the cafe

and you were ready to flash him your victory smile

until you saw that he wasn’t his usual bratty self

so you ended up calling him over

“this has gone on for way too long, don’t ya think? there’s no reason why we can’t just share this table.”

his face lights up

like a kid on Christmas

you end up working on your own things

while enjoying each others company

next time, you see him at the table

and you hesitated going to him,

but then he called you over

“i saved you a seat, thanks for last time.”

he said with a warm smile on his face

“I also got you your usual to repay you.”

“Aww, you do have a soft side.”

“Tell anyone and I will deny it.”

You end up talking about your little rivalry

“It was nice, seeing you angry about missing you buss and all.”

it turns out you learned each other’s schedules pretty well

when you usually get here on which day, which route you go on, when you leave

it was a bit creepy that you both knew those things about a complete stranger

but you weren’t strangers

not quite

“I’m Haechan, by the way.”

“y/n.”

he sometimes waits for you outside the cafe, knowing you’ll be arriving in exactly 2 minutes

“softy.”

“only for you.”

platonic flirting

you don’t necessarily mean it

ok maybe just a little

but it’s mainly just teasing

one time you end up getting to the cafe late

both of you

and the table is already taken

and you end up being so offended

“i can’t look at it, it’s making me sick.”

so you end up going to his dorms and playing overwatch

if you don’t know how to play, he will gladly teach you

but be prepared to get calls at 4am

bc he wants to play

“and Jeno is a bitch”

“wow, i love being your 2nd choice.”

you weren’t

he called you first

but was too proud to admit it

he doesn’t acknowledge your wins tho

“what game? we didn’t play a game last night, you were dreaming, I never lose”

you have to make it up to him

by pretending he beat up next time

not your best idea

his bratty ass ends up talking about it for a month

but then you beat him again

and he’s a pouty baby again

you end up being scolded by Johnny

lightly

for keeping him and his roommate up

he’s just joking tho

you end up meeting his hyungs

and you accidentally diss one of them

it just so happen to be doyoung

“of course, I expect nothing else from donghyuck’s friend.”

it’s all for jokes tho

and he knows it

but Johnny ends up stealing your diss

and clowning doyoung whenever he can

“Can i use that?” “Copyright.” “I’ll buy you coffee” “What copyright?”

Next thing you know, all of them are clowning dy

and you lowkey feel bad

but not really

we all know he needs his skinship

so if you’re not into that

rip bro

you are his teddy bear now

he cuddles you daily

and when he doesn’t get his cuddles

he turns into a pouty baby

“y/n, taeil doesn’t want to accept my cuddles.”

he fake cries

so you have to cuddle him now

not that u mind

yknow that video of hyuck cuddling taeil when they were in brooklyn?

that is you and hyuck 24/7

i mentioned platonic flirting

but did i mention platonic dissing

he is a little shit

of course you two are going to have dissing battles

“shut up, you annoying brat”

“At least I have something smart to say, unlike your dumb ass”

*his hyungs come to pick him up for his schedules*

“Love ya, call me when you get home!”

“Love ya too, see ya!”

*confusion noise from his hyungs*

they get use to it tho

Mark’s just happy he’s not hyuck’s target anymore

anyway,

you know that 24h relay cam they had?

and hyuck and johnny played games and then ordered food

that’s your sleepovers

you end up beating him when he goes to get the food

“oops”

“you’re lucky I love you”

“i know”

“you’re suppose to say it back, idiot.”

“it back, idiot”

rip man

have I mentioned he ends up taking you to the amusement park

and wins you a stuffed animal

to show off

and then he steals it

“you’re just gonna have to cuddle me then”

let’s say you can’t sleep

you call him up

and he ends up singing to you till you fall asleep

and then he takes screenshots of you sleeping

half bc he thinks it’s cute

half bc it’s blackmail

cute nicknames

you sometimes call him Duckie

bc D(onghy)uckie

sometimes you call him yuckie

depends on the mood

he either calls you something really annoying or something really sweet

nothing in between

and you love it that way

so does he

you wouldn’t have it any other way

Lee Donghyuck is basically just a bratty little shit, but you wouldn’t want anyone else to be your bratty little best friend.

hyuck would be such a good bff now i’m big sad

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happikattwuzheere · 4 years ago

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the one where gansey befriends a deer: the au

hey remember that time ronan dreamed up a deer that was described with language suspiciously similar to how adam’s described, because i sure do!!! anyway

OK.

ok. so. this au’s actually evolved a lot since its initial already-pretty-fleshed-out inception one sleepless night, so me talking about it’s gonna be more than one post, but here’s the first one well actually the second technically yesterday’s warmup doodles were also from this au but i didnt talk about it at all so

and I’m gonna start with more or less the same pitch I gave to a couple people on discord

SO. starting out: it’s standard fantasy times, vaguely medieval but no specific time period because I don’t care enough to be digging into that quite frankly, but it is somewhere in England where this is happening. Story starts with just Gansey, Ronan, and Noah. Fey are very real and known entities and there’s been a conflict in England between the fey and humans, if not in the whole country then at least in the lands that the Ganseys are the lords of but probably the whole island tbh, and Gansey’s not inherited the lands yet but he’s going to and wants to maybe find a peaceful resolution to the conflict. It’s not open warfare by any means but it’s been a big problem.

To the effect of solving that, he heads to some little village that I haven’t named but it’s right next to a known fey forest called Cabeswater. This village has avoided being stomped by the local fey because, despite witches not being particularly liked by the nobility of the time, there’s a big old coven (the psychics of Fox Way, essentially) situated right by this village that’s kept things in check. Gansey’s made his excuses to his parents about why he’s officially going there but really he wants to talk to the witches and get a better grasp of the conflict from the people actually dealing with it. He and Ronan set out from home together, pick up Noah along the way--who is not a ghost in this AU, he’s a fey who owes Gansey a life debt, that’s a whole other post and THIS post is mostly about gansey and adam--but anyway they get to this village and NOBODY gives gansey the time of day.

the witches don’t let him into their house because they don’t like the nobility right back thanks and the next time he tries to visit Cabeswater won’t even let him get to the coven’s dwelling, the one witch’s daughter who regularly stops by the village for supplies and to check if anyone needs anything has a big argument with him the first time he talks to her so that’s going nowhere, and, well, the villagers are polite, but they clearly don’t take him seriously. He’s just the lordling playing at things and potentially meddling in their business to them.

So he starts hanging out just barely within Cabeswater, even though he knows that’s not wise, because he finds this perfect spot by a stream, and he’ll sit out there and think and work on the journal he keeps of all his thoughts and plans, and one day while he’s there has a straight up Disney princess experience when a deer stops by the stream and seems incredibly unafraid of him. he cherishes the experience but accepts that it probably won’t happen again.

and then it does. several times. gansey’s losing his mind. this deer??? apparently likes listening to him info dump?? it’s very therapeutic and also very magical and he’s amazed

a few times in, he names the deer “Pryderi” after a character from a welsh legend, because “such a handsome creature deserves a princely name,” [[muffled blue laughing and whispering “princely” in the distance]], and he tells ronan and noah about this experience but ronan doesn’t believe him at ALL.

one time after gansey’s particularly upset at how bad his attempts at getting along with the villagers, Pryderi actually lets Gansey touch him for the first time and gansey cannot shut up about it to ronan who’s finally like “i think you’re bullshitting me about this deer thing. im coming with you next time” and gansey’s like “well he’s a deer he might not show up if a stranger’s around and he doesn’t come every time i go down there anyway” and ronan’s like “this sounds like a lot of excuses, dick, you’re not making me believe you any more with this” and gansey’s like “>8\”

but pryderi does show up, and gansey is delighted, and ronan stares really hard at him and then goes

and gansey’s like what? nooo. but ronan keeps arguing it for the duration of the visit and the deer actually starts to look annoyed and at the end ganseys like ok maybe but i doubt it. and then hes like “well since you are a fey apparently (/sarcasm) i ought to say farewell with respect” and bows very mockingly and then the deer makes direct eye contact with ronan and bows back and gansey loses his shit

gansey continues meeting up with pryderi but even while his infodumping still happens it does so now with the knowledge that He Does Actually Understand What Im Saying, he may be a fey but he seems like a friendly one and hey that’s way more than gansey thought he would get out here, and also this deer is his friend now thanks,

he, ronan, and noah (who’s amused by Pryderi but keeps his main thoughts to himself for now) make some excursions into cabeswater, but the thing is noah’s not really native to england, he’s from the european mainland, again i’ll get to it in another post sometime, but. he can sort of help navigate cabeswater but not all THAT well so they get lost a couple times, and every time it does happen pryderi shows up and helps guide them out. there’s some very funny moments of a very jealous ronan getting into weird conflict w/ a very smug deer

anyWAY one day there’s like a festival, everyone’s drunk because its the middle ages and there’s not really a drinking age, gansey’s making another effort to make friends with anyone, and this one guy about his own age is like “ok look here i’ll teach you the folk dance everyone’s doing ok?” and gansey spends the night dancing w/ a handsome stranger, yes he will recognize the irony in the morning, but for now it goes. well badly because they’re both drunk but it’s fun, and then the guy says “ah, fuck it, i’ll finish teaching you next time we see each other” and gansey’s like “thats a little forward but ok!” and the guy (adam. its adam) panics and leaves while gansey’s back is turned and gansey doesn’t remember that last snippet of conversation the next day nor can he quite recall the stranger’s face. ronan does, because he was watching and not sure which of the two he was jealous of, but neither of them has any idea who the guy actually was.

and then like, 3 days later, gansey falls asleep at the spot he usually hangs out in in cabeswater and wakes up in the early evening just in time to hear people yelling and for Pryderi to burst into view with an arrow in his flank. he collapses in a bush. gansey snaps into “protect friend” mode and gets the hunters off his trail by being all “oh a strange buck? i saw it pass that way over there friend!” and then when they’re gone he comes back and is all “alright pryderi they’re gone, let me just--” except pryderi’s not a deer anymore. it’s a boy.

(Adam. its adam. the deer is adam.)

gansey takes him home, gets the arrow out, noah’s like “i mean he’s not a fey, i dont know what turning into a deer is about but if he were fey the iron in that arrow would already have him dead. he might be partially fey but so little that he’s human in the ways that really matter”, over the next couple days they figure out that pryderi is in fact from the village and is a young man named adam parrish who’s been labelled a changeling and is assumed dead since he was yknow shot, gansey decides for now its probably best to keep him that way, but adam’s not getting better--apparently even having had the arrow in him as briefly as he did has poisoned him, he’s desperately ill and on the third day is finally like “get persephone” so gansey tries again (he’s tried several times over these days, they’d worked out that to have survived this long he must have someone else with a small degree of fey blood teaching him the ropes and the most likely suspects are the witches, but he’s hoping adam specifically asking him to will grant him permission enough to go in) and runs into a very frantic blue en route who as soon as he makes it clear he’s got adam is like “move your ass over on that horse im climbing on too”

they get persephone, who turns into a fox rather than a deer, she saves adam, everythings cool except adam’s pissy now because he cant go back to the village and he has to give up on the attempts he had in the works to get out of town by working his way out and he takes it out on gansey who doesnt deserve it because this friendship is a mess, he’ll feel bad and take it back eventually but thats yet more posts ANYWAY YEAH theres our starting point

(also worth noting: due to cabeswater being Right There, p much everyone in this village actually has a small degree of fey blood, adam just won the genetic lottery)

tl;dr adam’s a fey-blooded witch’s apprentice and he’s been the deer the whole time and thats the start of this au ty for coming to this ramble

#longpost #trc #the raven cycle #lolsketch #gonna make separate posts w/ just the art in a sec #anyway i love this au with all of my heart its extremely self indulgent #deer boy au #because thats what ive been shorthanding it to

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dreamingofhypno · 5 years ago

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Getting Back to Nature

[A young man finds himself lost in the jungle and encounters a strange serpent]

The jungle heat was immense with hot and thick air. The jungle was more lush than he could’ve imagined with dense leaves and colourful flowers. Chris followed his tour group step by step through the bends and curves of the path. He was a good-looking guy with a strong jaw and brow bone, slightly neanderthalic, but in a hot way. He had found his way onto this tour during a backpacking trip across Asia just after finishing university. He wasn’t a conformist and liked going his own way but, decided it would be best to explore the Indian jungle in a guided group lest he cross paths with the dangerous creatures which lurk inside.

“Legend has it that strange and powerful creatures reign over this jungle” the tour guide announced while the group followed, “many from the local villages pay homage to these creatures by making offerings, they are like deities to them”.

Chris pondered this. What about a jungle animal would be so fearsome to consider it a deity? After all, mankind can dominate nearly any creature it sees fit?. Still, he didn’t want to have to fend for himself out there. This dense jungle was a world away from the quiet English forest he had grown up around. As the group trailed on he daydreamed about the woods and fields from his boyhood. When he was young he liked nothing more than to run free in the natural surroundings of his hometown. No conformity, no rules, it felt like there were limitless possibilities when he was around nature. As a young boy it took him a while to conform to the normative rules of society when he was so used to following his more simplistic, natural inhibitions. Because of this, he was often thought of as an imaginative guy with a vivid imagination, with a tendency to get lost in his thoughts. It came as a surprise to him then, when he reached a fork in the road and his tour group nowhere to be seen.

It took him a second to gather himself. He hadn’t realised that he had slipped so far behind the rest of the group. “It’s ok” he thought, “they must not be far.”

“Hello?...Hello??....HEY!...”

He shouted after them. He listened to hear a response. A few long seconds passed. All he heard in return was deafening insect chirps and bird calls. His eyes darted between the 2 paths in front of him. He had no clue where either of them went. “Fuck ok, 50/50 chance” he rationalised, and legged it down the left-hand path. He knew he was ‘supposed’ to stay put but he didn’t like the thought of himself being a sitting duck for some carnivorous predator. He continued to jog through the jungle, passing countless trees, boulders and shrubs all the while shouting out for his tour group. As the pathway became more and more overgrown he began to think that he had made the wrong decision. He was a fit guy but even for him the think humid air wore him down faster that he expected. His already warm body was now sweating through the loose tank top he was wearing. He hoisted the top over his head and felt some relief as his bare torso was exposed to the open air. The hair on his chest and stomach blew gently as he moved forward.

“Dead end” he thought. Frustratingly, he turned around and began his way back the route he came. He checked his mobile. No signal. He began to panic slightly. Before he reassured himself that he wasn’t that far from the group but now the thought that he might actually get lost out here was becoming dangerously real. This panic made him step up his pace as he passed through trees and bushes followed by trees and bushes followed by…the same trees and bushes? He could swear he had already passed these trees before. His heart sank.

He was well and truly, lost.

Chris breathed deeply in and out. “It’s ok” he reassured himself, “it’s ok, they’re gonna notice that I’m gone and they’ll send someone out to find me”. He looked up to the sky, it was still mostly light out but it was starting to ever so slightly turn. “It’s probably best if I stay put somewhere”. He had reached a small opening that seemed like a good place as any to stay put. He took a seat at a conveniently placed tree stump. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. It was strangely peaceful being out here in nature, feeling the air against his bare skin. His shorts were stifling after all that activity and he wasted no time in taking them off. The air cooled his hot thighs and he was now only left in his loose red boxer shorts. His thumb hesitated around the elastic waistband of his boxers. Chris looked around. He knew no one else was around but getting completely naked still felt so risqué even if it felt wonderful. What if there was someone was watching? Indeed, he almost felt as if the jungle had eyes everywhere.

Chris pondered the futility of this whole situation. Even out here, with no one around for miles he still couldn’t quite bring himself to just let go, to be completely naked and free of inhibitions. Just as he had that thought he could hear rustling in the canopy above and a strangely familiar sound.

"Sssssay now, what have we here? Has a mancub wandered into my domain?"

A voice came out of the foliage above. Chris, shocked by hearing another person immediate jumped up, hoisted his shorts back up and reached for his vest.

"Ohhhhh, have I caught you at a bad time?" the voice said playfully.

Chris had just managed to get back into his vest before turning around to face this stranger but, much to his surprise, he saw only the familiar jungle scenery. He looked around trying to find the source of his intruder.

"erm, I'm so sorry It's just I thought I was alone and er..." he trailed off trying to defend himself. "God, the only other person around for miles and they probably think I'm some kind of pervert" he thought, as his face turned red from the embarrassment.

"Well that'sssss nothing to be ashamed of, mancub hss hss hss" the playful voice above responded from above as it grew clearer.

"Sorry um, where are you exactly?" Chris asked as he searched the leaves above.

"Of course, where are my mannersssss..."

A green python with bright yellow eyes slithered down slowly from a branch above Chris, "my name, is Kaa. Nisssssse to see you, mancub".

Chris was stunned. What is going on? Had the heatstroke set in?? He watched in disbelief as the talking serpent gently dropped down to his eye level. Not only was he talking to a serpent, but one with an attitude??

"In fact, it's nice to see sssssso much...of you hss hss hsss!" Kaa laughed.

Chris blushed, suddenly aware of how much this snake had been eyeing him up.

“oh er...right, sorry, I thought I was alone and….”, he trailed off, embarrassed that of all things, a talking snake, had intruded on what he thought was a solitary moment. Chris took a second to take a look at this new acquaintance. He was clearly a sizeable python, long enough to hang comfortably from the branches above. But what stood out the most about Kaa was his large yellow eyes. They were bright, almost luminescent which stood out against surrounding jungle. Chris wondered, with eyes that bright how he could’ve missed them peering down at him from above.

"I'm Chris by the way" he introduced, offering his hand, then quickly returning it when he realised that he was talking to, well, a snake. Kaa chuckled at the manners of the mancub and brought down the tip of his tail from the canopy above. It wrapped itself in a loop around Chris's hand and gave it a gentle shake. He watched the cool scales of the serpent brush against his palm and returned to meet his gaze. His eyes were truly captivating, so large and bright that they almost demanded to be looked at.

“Pleasure to meet you mancub”, Kaa responded.

“Umm, I don’t mean to be rude but...

“Yesssss?”

“You can...talk?”

“Hss hss hss, i can do many thingsss mancub, the jungle is home to many experiencesss most humans...could only dream of”, Kaa looped a coil and draped himself over Chris’s broad shoulder, cozying up to him. “you know, it’s such a shame we don’t get more humanssss in these parts don’t you think Chrissss?”

He pondered what Kaa had said. What kind of experiences was he talking about? And why would Kaa want more humans in these parts? It was pretty obvious why there weren’t any other people around.

“I mean, jungles are pretty dangerous, you’ve got tigers, bears, snak-”

Kaa raised a brow.

Chris gulped. “I mean er...panthers?”

Kaa didn’t look convinced.

“Shit”, Chris thought. He is a predator. I should keep him on my good side or else I could end up his next meal. He was still perplexed over how a literal talking python could remain so unknown. Anyone who came in contact would surely notify the media or scientists…unless? In order to do that one would actually have to get back to civilisation which means...

Chris gulped, brushed off Kaa’s coil, and took a few steps back.

“So er, would you happen to know how I could get back to my tour group? I’m sure they’re looking for me and I’d hate to keep them waiting and it’s getting a little late and-”,

“Oh? Leaving so ssssoon?” Kaa interrupted, “and here I thought we were starting to find sssome common ground”

“No no no! It’s nothing like that I just I-I really need to be getting back and yknow I’m on a whole trip so-“

“And to think you were so clossssssse, tsk tsk tsk…”, he shook his head and turned away, as if disappointed.

Chris was confused. Close to what exactly? What was this snake talking about? Now was his opening, Kaa wasn’t facing him and he could easily outrun him. He told himself to turn around and get out but, a little morsel of curiosity was holding him back. What did Kaa know that he didn’t?

Against better judgement, he asked “close to what exactly?”,

“Well, let me assssk a question mancub, when was the last time you felt truly free?”,

There were a few moments of silence between them as Chris thought of what to reply but before he could respond, Kaa already had his answer.

“I’m willing to bet it was a few minutesssss ago, wasn’t it?”

“W-what do you mean?” he said, a little stunned.

Kaa laughed, he was constantly amazed by the inability of humans to recognise even their most basic urges.

“Hss hss hss, when I sssaw you from above, I saw a mancub getting in touch with what he really desires...being his most natural sssself....you were so closssse to having your whole manhood proudly on disssplay”.

Chris gulped and started to feel blood rushing to the growing bulge in his shorts. He didn’t know what to say, it was as if this strange serpent had looked right into his innermost desires that even he was too embarrassed to admit to himself. He turned away, looking at the ground shyly. He didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t want Kaa to be right, he didn’t want to be some kind of exhibitionist...but he couldn’t deny how good it felt. How free, excited, and aroused he started to feel when he had stripped off like that. He knew what he really wanted was to be completely bare, out here in the open, for all of nature to see his nakedness.

“That’sss a kind of experiencssss...I can offer you”

Chris’s mind was getting increasingly fuzzy. He didn’t know what to say or think. His inner, primitive desires had been spoken out in the open and he didn’t know how to process it. What did Kaa mean? What kind of experience? His mind started running with possibilities about what that might feel like. The kind of pleasures it would hold. His cock was getting stiffer and stiffer as his curiosity was piqued.

“...h-how could you do that?”, he asked, raising his head back up to face Kaa.

He smirked a knowing grin.

“Oh, I have my own ssssubtle ways. Now…look into my eyes, won’t you?”

Chris looked forward at Kaa’s bright eyes and watched in amazement as they began to pulsate rings upon rings of colourful rays. Green...purple...yellow. It was as if he was watching the most beautiful display he had ever seen. So captivating and enriching, the colours blended into one and other in ways he couldn’t believe. He just had to keep watching to see what beautiful rings would pulsate from Kaa’s eyes next.

“Thaaaaat’s it mancub, jussssst keep looking into my eyes”, Kaa told his new subject.

Chris felt his eyes widen uncontrollably, as if his unconscious mind was forcing him to take in as much of the beautiful display as he could. His mouth fell agape at the sheer surprise of such an amazing illusion. He gazed onward and started to feel the pulsation of Kaa’s eyes to be matched in his own. In doing so, his field of vision became completely saturated with the dazzling colours. In every direction there was a stunning display.

“Kaa wha....what is....”, Chris trailed off. He could barely string a sentence together. His mind was getting increasingly fuzzy and difficult to think. He had no idea what was happening. What on earth this display was. But his body knew. And it knew that it felt incredibly good. The bulge in his shorts was getting bigger as his cock got more and more stiff with each colourful pulse.

Kaa’s playful smile had now become sinister. He had the mancub right where he wanted him. He knew how mancubs functioned. How intelligent they thought they were. How much they denied their animalistic desires, how just teasing the smallest primitive pleasure, was enough to crumble all of their restraint. Kaa knew from when he first saw Chris what he had found. A lost boy, looking to find that youthful sense of freedom once again.

“Thaaaaat’s it mancub, it feels, sssso good, doesn’t it?”.

His slacked jaw slowly twisted into a smile. Chris’s mind was slipping away from him. It was like the messages sent in his brain were now traveling slower and slower through an increasingly dense fog. The problem for him was that this included those little precautions that had previously told him that he was face to face with a dangerous predator. They had been completely dwarfed by the only thing that was now on his mind: pleasure.

He nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on Kaa’s gaze. He didn’t even think of his response. He was asked if it felt good. And he nodded. Because he felt very, very good.

“Good...it felt so nicssssse to be naked again didn’t it? so nicssssse to be free and natural” Kaa reassured Chris. He nodded his head again, this time a little more sluggish. Kaa knew he was reaching his cliff of restraint and that before long he would only need a little nudge to tip him over the edge.

“So why don’t we take care of these pesky restraintssss shall we? hss hss hss...” Kaa gestured to Chris’s clothes with the tip of his tail. He nodded sluggishly and without thinking, lifted his vest over his head and pulled down his shorts.

That instinctive freedom was coming back to him. He was once again that young boy at peace in nature, free from rules and restriction and curious about the wonders of the natural world.

“Aren’t you forgetting a little ssssomething?”, Kaa’s tail caressed up Chris’s bare thigh and gently snapped the waistband of his boxers. “Don’t you want to get naked?”.

Chris nodded. His last gram of resistance was the only thing stopping him. His deep subconscious knew that this pleasure was undeniable. This feeling was coming for him no matter what.

As he continued staring into Kaa’s eyes he could feel it approaching. A feeling of absolute freedom, submission and bliss.

A peak.

A cliff.

It was coming.

Closer.

And closer.

Whether he embraced it or not.

Either way.

He was going to pull down his boxers.

Let his manhood spring out and…

*PING*....

Kaa’s eyes stopped pulsing colours as he swung back to admire his latest catch. He couldn’t believe his luck! A sizable and lean male specimen was standing in front of him, upright and stiff, as if standing to attention. While Kaa had ceased his hypnotic stare, Chris’s eyes were still wide open, pulsing the same colours he had been gazing into just moments ago.

“There now...that wassssn’t so hard now was it?” Kaa asked playfully.

Chris shook his head. His smile was beaming as if he was so utterly happy and joyful to be in this wonderful state. Kaa knew that at this point the mancub was completely defenceless. He had no weapon. He had no clothes. He didn’t even have any free will. He was just a mindless, naked mancub so overloaded with pleasure he couldn’t do anything but stand there, arms at his side, cock upright and stiff, and bask in this bliss.

Kaa smacked his lips and appreciated his latest capture. This mancub was certainly going to become a part of nature very, very soon.

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invinciblerodent · 7 years ago

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Propositioned by the Billionaire Moose - A moose(!!!) shifter romance liveblog (part III)

Links to part 1 and part 2 are here!

Good morning everyone, did you miss me? Remember where we left off?

Yep. There.

Also, worth living again. Yikes. Double yikes at her starting to bring up her “inner feline” every second paragraph, which is grrrrrrrrrrrreat.

Listen, I have read Fifty Shades. Anyone’s inner anything can stay as far away from me as humanly possible. Goddess, feline, subconscious, whatever, just.... as far away as possible.

She also admits that him finding out her phone number and where she lives is the definition of a stalker, although that goes like, well....

And…. really, just fuck right off with that. I… no. No, that’s not funny, or clever, or… really anything that deserves recognition from me, or anyone. That’s mildly insulting at the very best.

They also in this scene talk about meeting his family with her as his fake bride- and I’m gonna be honest, I just. Cannot see why this woman is still here.

I mean. She’s a shifter cut off from their community (because apparently in this book they have one and Grandpa Moose is the head of it for some reason) (man, a lot of things happen in this book “for some reason”), he has told her NOTHING about it being a widespread thing and just makes cryptic references to his family smelling her and being okay with her immediately (which she has no clue means that they can smell that she too is a shifter, as far as she knows they’re just creeps, all of them), he stalked her, literally stalked her, like “tracking down her phone number and following her home” stalked her, and then proposed to pay her for marrying him and then divorcing him once his grandpa dies- all while saying that this is a business arrangement, but how difficult it’s gonna be for her to keep her hands off him, winkyface.

Like. Not only would I not be tempted to touch such a creepy, arrogant douchebag, I would run for the hills. In fact, I would have blocked his number the first time he called me, and changed my route to work.

Romance novel heroines seem to have no instinct of self-preservation.

Also, while I feel kind of bad, this mother character… is really just. Unbelievable. And not in a good way, I mean that I just can’t believe that a mother whose only diagnosed problem is liver cancer (and I know, “only” is a weird word to use here) would start yelling about how ungrateful their adult child is and how they must’ve stolen from her if they go out for less than two hours in the morning (even though Melanie has like a couple part-time jobs? I think? It’s not clear what she does for a living, but she does…. some stuff), and say that a friend invited her for breakfast… With every scene, it just feels more and more like this woman is really deeply psychologically damaged, which is all the more reason why she should not be treated at home by her unqualified daughter. So I’m… a little conflicted about the next scene, when a nurse sent by Creepozoid shows up.

Like, on one hand, that’s great, someone with actual medical training to handle a person who needs both psychological and physical care. But on the other… this is by far my least favorite romance trope, the Rich Guy Spoiling Heroine Despite Her Firm Rejection Of Him Spoiling Her. I know it’s supposed to be romantic in the “yay expensive luxurious stuff!!!!! he’s so thoughtful!!!!!!!!!!” way, but… it could just be my queer ass not understanding The Straights, but I value respect way more than expensive shit.

Like, way to overstep every goddamn boundary that she sets by overwriting her order on what to drink, sending a paid stranger into her home despite her having told him no, buying her expensive clothes without her consent (how does he even know her size????), and just… starting to joke around about something what clearly has her feeling humiliated and like she’s “selling her soul” (her words) to get the only family she has left (who verbally and physically abuses her but nonetheless) out of squalor. It’s just… fucking insensitive, and even if the intent was actually to just be nice (which I dooooubt~~~~~)

Seriously the only three things he knows about her are 1.) what she looks like, 2.) that she’s a shifter, and 3.) that she’s poor. And apparently the first two things are enough for him to want to marry her, while no.3 is what he’s exploiting to get her to agree. Which is just fucking slimy.

Lesson of the day, if you do a nice thing by blatantly disrespecting the wishes of the person receiving said nice thing, chances are it is not a nice thing anymore, and this trope needs to die in a fucking fire.

And oh god, Melanie, please stop mentioning your “inner kitty”. It’s giving me serious Ffity Shades flashbacks, and I would like that part of my life to be well and truly over. It’s enough that I have to sell those books on the daily still.

Also she can smell the moose on him. Which. She describes it as “something untamed and wild” but I just assume he smells like a stable.

Arrogant. Selfish. Creepy. Disrespectful. Inconsiderate of people’s wants. The list goes on.

CASE IN POINT.

This is the sort of shitty romance novel male protagonist that I loathe with a passion, your Christian Greys and whoever elses because you bet your ass I did not finish another novel that was like that who think that flinging money at a person despite them saying “no” is endearing, rather than insulting.

Ugh. So glad I decided to call him Creepozoid instead of whatever his name was, it’s much more fitting. Anyway, chapter ends with the “Rightfully Angry Woman Silenced By Unwanted Physical Affection” cliché, only he doesn’t actually kiss her. Which I welcome, because my god, she has done nothing but tell him no so far, so that would have been probably even worse than it was now.

Chapter 9 is back with the flip-flopping POVs and the unnecessary and, as much as I detest that word, CRINGEWORTHY hashtags- this time, it’s #blueballed.

Just. Can we please not. Can we just not. Please. No. It’s painful. It actually hurts my soul when I see a hashtag in a book, you guys. It actually hurts. Those things have purpose, but only on like twitter and instagram, tho. The functionless hashtag hurts my heart, it really does.

So. Anyway. Driving her to dinner (I still don’t quite remember when they even agreed to go out, besides the “I’ll pay you if you pretend to be my wife” scheme), he’s hard all the way. Which is odd, because she’s supposed to be wearing a knee-length pencil skirt, a blue sweater, and low-heeled shoes. Decidedly not sexy clothes. More cozy, imo, casual. Even if she’s a fucking goddess (which is, y’know, subjective, especially if you have to listen to her) and even if physically he thinks she is the most beautiful woman in the world, her attitude.... should have been an utter turn-off? Like, I just don’t understand why he’s still into her.

Okay, I didn’t understand why he was into her in the first place because WHY WOULD THE SMELL OF A PREDATOR, A FELINE, BE APPEALING TO A PREY ANIMAL.

HAVE WE TALKED ENOUGH ABOUT HOW MOOSE ARE BIG, DUMB DEER WITH WEIRD HEADS, BECAUSE I DON’T THINK WE HAVE.

MOOSE ARE BIG, DUMB DEER, AND THIS BOOK THINKS THEY’RE LIKE THE LIONS OF CANADA???????? WHICH IS WEIRD FOR ITS OWN HOST OF REASONS??????????

Anyway, they continue the charming conversation they were having (bleh) about how Creepozoid is SURE that Cousin Rory is not his cousin (and tbh at this point whether he turns out to be his cousin or not, I just don’t think there is any way to make this plotline interesting because I really just do not give a single hoot), and he remarks in his inner monologue that he doesn’t plan on telling her that getting her pregnant is part of the deal. Then he drops this charming line:

Do I have to remind everyone that so far she has done nothing but tell him no?

Then the conversation veers into Exposition Dump territory, because even though the readers know all this shit about the protagonists (each chapter being narrated by one of these two dipshits), they have had two, individually two minute conversations and know fuckall about each other, so quickly the writer somehow had to cram them revealing to one another their Tragic Backstories.

And I know had this not happened I would probably have poked fun of how they somehow magically know everything, but like this, as I read, I kinda just felt my life ticking away. This is the kinda shit that, I think, most competent writers would just skip and say that they talked about their lives and families, told one another what they should know to be able to sell the concept of being smitten with one another, and not repeat it to the audience as well.

Of course, again, I wouldn’t point any of this out if these two weren’t such charmless dingbats. Bryce is nonchalantly listing off facts, Melanie is bitter and unpleasant (with reason, but still), and in the end, she drops a bomb about how lonely she is, which, fuck, I would NOT tell this creep.

In fact, I would not sit in the same car as this creep, much less reveal to him that I’m in a vulnerable position emotionally.

But, yknow, you do you girl.

He also tells her to be herself, but his inner monologue says that

Am I the only one who thinks this sounds like he’s grooming her for something? No? Okay then.

This tedious and honestly kinda gross chapter comes to a close with the car pulling up to his family mansion, only to see Rory’s car with his name on the license plate, because Creepozoid is apparently dumb as a rock and could have not recognized the car itself, it had to have Cousin Dearest’s name on it.

Guys, I need to rest my brain for a minute. These two chapters were long, and bad, and just. Full of creepy things. I’m working overtime so much this month, I need to read something actually good for a while.

I guess you could say it’s costing me……… deerly.

And I’m only 48% through, jaybus christ.

Okay, I’m done. Next 2-3 chapters are to be expected next Wednesday! <3

#propositioned by the billionaire moose #book review #book liveblog #shifter romance

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ocelukas · 8 years ago

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Updates and a Theory

(( SHIT THIS BLOG’S BEEN DEAD

anyway hi guys, sorry i abandoned this blog, but yknow, ive gotten into other things recently, plus school and family drama has NOT helped, but yknow.

anyway, i got back into mcsm, and ill update this blog a lil, to start out with a theory!

a theory about a certain redheaded, abandoned girl

WARNING: its long af but at least there’s a lukas picture in the end))

I was talking with my bae today, and we were talking about MCSM’s Episode 6, and she linked me a thing that said Telltale thought out this episode a little more than we think, and I realized something

I THINK Cassie might be self aware. Meaning I think she knows she’s in a game, an infinite loop.

Think about it: To add to a few posts about her behavior that she literally set up a LOAD of traps and somehow miraculously ‘estimated’ every person doing this and that, it must’ve taken her a LONG time to do all this.

She literally built a HUGE mansion, that is RIGGED with traps, mechanics, secret passageways, you name it.

She managed to get ALL These traps WORKING, first of all. Obviously this is GOOD redstone. VERY good redstone. You’ve gotta be an EXPERT at this stuff. Even if you were, it’d still take a while to set up EVERYTHING in the RIGHT places. Not to mention dig out those massive caverns we see in the damn game.

She trained a cat, as mentioned in this post. And that HAS to take a long time.

She made a COSTUME that needs to make sure you can MOVE in it, be athletic in it. FIGHT in it. Not to mention she needed to make sure she could GROW a RARE, WHITE pumpkin that she could FIT her head in and make it last a long time.

But the kicker is the traps. She KNEW where everyone would be, right? How?

“But Rose! If she was self aware, why wouldn’t she just take the flint and steel from Stampy?”

That’s the thing: She never finds out Stampy has the flint and steel. She only knows YOU do cause she saw it before. That’s why she makes the fake portal, to lure YOU, Lukas, Petra and Ivor down to the trap and try and pry it from your cold, dead hands.

It also explains WHY she thinks she has to kill everyone for the damn key in the first place. Obviously, she was an old builder, based on Hadrian’s, Mevia’s and Otto’s reactions to you pulling out the White Pumpkin instead of the Redstone Heart in episode 8. So she’s very smart. She obviously would’ve asked at first for help.

But she didn’t get it. Because the Youtubers said NO. And uh, I don’t know if you guys noticed, but the Youtubers obviously weren’t friendly and willing to help a random stranger, especially if they ask for a RARE ITEM that even THEY’RE looking for.

They denied her.

Which is why she thought they needed to be dead if she could get home.

“But why wouldn’t she ask YOU?”

Think about it. Every player is different, and not everyone wants to go the SAME ROUTE.

What if when she asked, she got a MEAN, SELFISH Jesse?

Who said NO?

She obviously lost hope to make friends, to have them HELP HER.

And she thought that one thought. You want something done right, you do it yourself.

It also explains why she likes Winslow better than anyone else. At least when she TRAINS him, HE helps her.

The first time she realized she was in a loop, everyone had forgotten she asked obviously. She was confused about it at first, then she got it. It CLICKED when she saw you come through again. But it’s been done so many times, we don’t actually see her ask for help. She already knows your answer, and thinks “Okay, that’s it.” At first, of course, she probably got stuff done slow and wrong, but she quickened up, remembered her pace, remembered the steps.

Realize this: It takes you five episodes to get to her. That’s a little time, but not much. She needed to get shit done FAST. And as mentioned before, building a mansion rigged with functional redstone traps and features, digging out caverns, training a cat and making a perfect working costume with something RARE isn’t exactly something you can do quickly. Unless you already remember your steps and materials.

Plus, the end trap when she ‘falls’ into her sand trap. She got out somehow. Which obviously, she knew if someone would’ve walked on that trap, she wouldn’t want them getting out.

There had to have been a connecting corridor for her to escape. She HAD to have known no one would activate that ONE, SPECIFIC trap so that she could escape. Or else, she would’ve died if she didn’t know.

However, you’re basically a cubey version of Frisk from Undertale. She can’t predict what you do, so that’s why she’s anxious and jumpy at times around you, she doesn’t know what you’ll say, how you’ll get through everything. Undertale made a good point with games. Characters can’t predict your actions, if you’ll kill everyone, be nice. This includes Dishonored as well, no one can predict your actions, the ingame characters are just less aware.

Basically, what I’m saying is Cassie deserves more recognition than she gets other than “just a killer/crazy person.”

But hey, [mattpat voice] THAT’S JUST A THEORY.

and now, lukas:

im back, nerds~

#mcsm theory #mcsm episode 6 #mcsm cassie #mcsm cassie rose #;Cassie's Tag #immmm baaack #;ooc #;Mun Arts

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sparklball · 7 years ago

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pokemon green part 28: ｊｕｉｃｅ　　ｆ　ｒｏｍ　ａ　ｗｏｕｎｄ　ｔｒｅｅ

ok i'll play engreen after im done reading this book preview on amazon

i wonder if anyone's actually finished engreen?? probably but im gonna pretend im the first

....he says, after i beat him

quibble

MACHO MAN BEATS STICK - WATCH NOW ON GREENTUBE

oh boy a new friend (to put in a box forever)

there arent any numbers in engreen's nickname screen so i had to get creative

why the fuck is it called "wetlo"

what do i name the wetlo btw

!!!!!

fucking incredible だね

we caught a psyduck too

holy shit it's a second fart

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

electromagnetic waves from... the constitution

(i named it FHead)

so i guess "MAKEUP" was hp up? ok

you mean the legend of sparklball and onetesticl? yeah dude, who hasnt

I JUST WON YOU STUPID SACK OF SHIT

i just noticed this recently but there's a little border around the emulator. it's cute

whoa.... so aside from sparklball there are two others

sheld's missed hitting this thing like three times in a row get your shit together sheld

we meet again, ANGRY

oh no what if he steals my HACTERIOLYSIS

malum... uh.... marumain????

hell YEAH wait why is it yellow. did someone piss on electrode too

oh no

same

NO BECAUSE HMS ARE THE FUCKING DEVIL AND IM NEVER USING THEM ON MY MAINS AGAIN

see, finally one of these assholes can admit it

left or right

gcio: any guesses as to what the hell whdra is bru: mewtwo tricky: seadra

tricky: well fuck you all bru: why are you such a sore loser tricky: i just feel like i'm being cyberbullied even by fate itself

alright i oughta fuck off to bed soon

we didnt get too far in engreen today either but we caught like five pokemon which is good

ok im gonna get some food and then engreen i guess. even though it's already almost midnight whoops

i have.... ice cream. good thing it's not a yoof night

......so it's blowing in your face? wouldnt that slow you down

i still cant believe this thing's fucking mouth. jesus christ

?????

same

why. is there food

wow check out this birdfucker :////

ok nevermind it's just a birdkin

yay

happy 29th hourversary

fuck

it's ok i dont understand much of engreen either

im 22

that's more fuckin like it

umm :/// pokemon didnt have genders in g1? smh fucking casuals

SIGH

finally, a place to set all this silverware

oh... great... just what ive always wanted...

SWEET JESUS

i could totally just bypass all of these trainers on the bridge

im not gonna though--

uh is that really something praiseworthy. are you an ojousama

finally, it's trank's time to shine

(....now im kinda hoping he gets knocked out so i can say "I SAID SHINE NOT 死ね")

BURN NIDER

this is a bad screenshot but ice beam yay

surf also

......why the fuck is the water orange. is it raining piss from the 'bove

is this another birdfucker

that's great eridan

throwback thursday: the good ol' days before levitate

[hey, today’s thursday too] [does that make this whole update a throwback]

[no because you took too long to finish it and it’s not thursday anymore fuckass]

priss just hit level 27 and she's trying to learn fucking growl

FUCK.

buddy youre looking in the wrong place

whoa there pal you need to watch your fucking mouth

yeah uh maybe try checking, yknow, the moon

FUCK!!!

what does this mean. he likes fishing to some extent being unable to control?? so does he like fishing to some extent, but not that much, and cant control his general apathy toward it? or does he like fishing so much that, to some extent, he cant control himself around.... fish....????