#like a man can be mean and brooding and horrible. that doesn't count

[twilight-good-yall-dumb]

my weakness is that I will suffer through bad fiction if there's a mean, brooding, possibly violent, bitch of a man who is secretly in love with girl. i will suffer through a lack of plot, bad writing, other boring characters, etc. just for the chance that i get to read mean man kiss girl. yes, i need to work on this. what do you want from me?

[sparkledfirecracker]

Mob Steve.

Is there anything more beautiful to look at?

(forever grateful for Nix's edit)

You're the wife of the most notorious mob boss in the history of New York. He's gorgeous. Well hung. Owns every room he walks in. And has more money than you could ever dream of spending.

He can all be yours, you just have to choose which life you want to have with him. You love him, but...

Too bad he:

Has sex with every woman but you. He's not even discreet about it. He dips his dick in everything and anyone that moves. You're his wife on paper alone. You can spend all his money - so long as he doesn't have to hear from you. But you better not embarrass him if you seek sexual comfort elsewhere. They'll be hell to pay - and divorce. And you signed a prenup that will leave you with practically nothing. But if you don't stray - you'll have all the money you could ever desire.

It sucks that:

As often as you two have sex - you never cum. He's well endowed, but just can't seem to find a good rhythm. But if you're hoping to get off during oral - think again - this man doesn't do oral. Thinks it's beneath him. But he absolutely expects to have you suck him off.

You wish:

He wasn't so frugal. You have a great sex life but fuck he watches his bank account like a hawk. You get a monthly allowance which he deems more than enough to play with, but it really isn't - not with the crowd you both hang around. You feel choked to be under his thumb so much but he won't allow you to have your own job.

Damn, you could use a breather

He keeps you barefoot and pregnant. Heirs after heirs pop out of your cooch. The sex is absolutely amazing. He caters to every whim you have and loves you unconditionally. You get help with a nanny, but he expects you to always be present with the kids. You have free reign of funds, but you're always pregnant and never get to wear the clothes you buy. But he still fucks you each and every night.

😘

Since “he can be all mine”, means I can just pass his offer to be his whatever it is I am to him and go straight for his bodyguard instead, right? I mean his bodyguard be looking damn fine in my opinion. I would wolf whistle if I could, but I can’t really.

(Nix is very much missed, so I had to give you an alternative option made by the wonderful and only - Nix.)

Ugh fine, apparently I love him, but these scenarios CHRIS, bad you! I can’t weasel my ass out of this and I’m squirming, because I don’t want to pick, because they’re all so mean and horrible.

The first option, he literally can screw around and I would always have to get myself off since I can’t fuck around elsewhere. Nope, wouldn’t be able to handle that, I would try to poison him out of jealousy, frustration or something else.

Second option, it’s not even an option, I get to finish too. He’s a red flag, showing his insecurities through toxic masculinity. This Andrew Tate nonsense is not welcome in my house.

Third, I had a family member like that. When he died, the wife (grandma’s sister) found out she was a millionaire. Great story! But I know how tough and hard that life was on her, so no, a definite pass for me. I’m worth more than be kept on a chain like that.

So that leaves me with option 4, me and my brood of Rogers mob babies. 9 mob babies and counting. Poor uterus, stretched to the limit and working overtime of being constantly filled.

Being the baring horse seems to come with a horrible price the longer I think about it. So I have some thoughts and questions even though this is the last option I have to choose anyway,

Would he stop when it would become a health risk for me, like a true matter of life and death? How far does this unconditional love go? Or is it his initial plan to end up like Captain Von Trapp just him and his brood of mob babies? I know there’s one nanny involved, but would he banish them to boarding schools? Where are we at with this? 😩

This was a tough one, but I guess I’ll have to deal with my choice now. It was nice knowing you all, but I’m off to warm up some buns in my oven.

[eastendies]

Alright so imma weigh in

So if at this point you can honestly defend ee's writing all the time, you're either an exceptional lawyer or blind. Ee messes up a lot. It botches up characters and story arcs for the sake of cheap drama or wanting to bend into a certain narratives the show runners want bc they think it's gonna be cool. We know this bc it's a British soap opera and the writing has to be constantly added on and spun around to keep people coming back every day of the week w enough drama that people will watch it. So "EE writer bad" is a bit of a neutral statement at this point.

Ben and Callum out of the coming out sl was really good! The coming out sl itself was very good writing and the characters built up enough chemistry and background to make a very compelling couple that people wanted to root for. That's great, you say. But they kept fucking with it.

They kept having Ben be this brooding mafia type to have the Ben and Martin feud make sense bc again, cheap drama. They wrote Callum being obtuse and blind and barely having any time on his own, they wrote Ben's wounds from all his fights out of the story even after a day so Callum wouldn't notice the fact that his bf is a criminal. They should have had a conversation abt Ben's criminal dealings and Ben should have stopped them BEFORE Callum wanted to become a police officer, and that's not even getting into how realistically Callum being a police officer grossly misunderstands his character who essentially is a very kind, even a bit cowardly man who hates confrontation and seeks to avoid conflict even at the cost of his own happiness in some instances. But the ee writers wanted a feud and they didn't care how this all affected Ben and Callum's relationship until they brought up a plot point that forced Ben to act in a way that accommodates Callum but not in the obvious way of "Hey my bf thinks blackmail and money laundering is bad, maybe I should stop" but rather "my bf really wants to be a cop and that means I can't do crime anymore."

This show is obsessed with Ben being on screen and involved in every plot point, I assume because Max Bowden is a hell of an actor and KO likes him or KO just really wants this character everywhere. The lack of development for Callum is what really hurt the relationship as it led up to the point where Callum can't even have about 5 minutes to process that his bf is a murderer (yes, Keanu counts as murder) before ee decides they want a tear jerker ending of the week and make Callum instantly love Ben again with no strings pulling him back.

This Keanu arc has been horrible for Ben's character bc it took a character that was becoming a better person and made them into a murderer, an idiot (seriously, Martin? That's who you choose, Ben?) and someone that can't feasibly be in a relationship with someone like Callum who the show has built to be an exceptionally kind person who fell in love with Ben because he saw that Ben was, deep down, a kind person too. They wrote this arc in such a horrendous way that their current actions don't really make sense, none of the interesting pathways are explored (Callum and Ben actually talking about it, I mean serious communication?? Coming to an agreement or just anything more than one scene?) and the audience has to just try to ignore the fact that this all doesn't make sense as the writers choose not to portray them as a functioning couple.

Do I think Ballum is toxic? No. Do I think Ben and Callum right now are bad people? Yeah. Ben tried to murder someone and Callum knew and forgave him anyway with barely an explanation. Do they deserve what Keanu is doing to them? That's an interesting debate, but it's one the show will never have. Do I still ship them? Sure. The coming out sl was that good. I ship them and like their characters while understanding that this is all from the writer's negligence and that these characters are bad people because of the way the show portrays them. I support them with the hope that maybe the writers will try and fix the damage they've done, or come back next week with a new storyline that addresses their issues or kicks it out of the park like the coming out storyline did.

That's my two cents 👏

oh dear