#like YOU ARE AT A DOG PARK ma'am like wtf is wrong with you?

[foxyloueh]

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[bleedingcoffee42]

Absent- Part 25

I can’t believe this is at 40k words.   All because I was avoiding editing a finished chapter or two of another fic.  WTF.

Prev Parts.

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“What should I be looking for when I go into the library?”  Riza asked as they drove past Central Station and knew they would be in front of the National Library in less than five minutes.  

“Are you sure you don't want me to go in?”  

“I think I will have a better understanding of military procedure and be able to get by without question.  If someone starts questioning you, about anything from your assessment to your specialty, I think there are more possibilities of you being discovered.  This is less about alchemy and more about the military, unfortunately.” Riza answered.  It would be easier to just send her in and get whatever information she needed out of her brain that way.

“No, that's rational.  I'm not sure what to really send you to look for other than the Alternative Medicine book.   However after reading this one, I am leaning towards sending you for some more research on this topic.  Maybe some transmutation circles will stand out, you clearly know more about alchemy than you give yourself credit for.   Perhaps not the execution, but the science you have seen before.”

“What do I need to look for?  Beyond the dreams and manipulations of those dreams?”  Riza tapped her finger on the steering wheel.   She really didn't want to think about possibilities beyond it all being in the library, but if this was on going research there was a higher likelihood it would be locked away in a lab somewhere along with the scientists researching it.  

“If we believe this is a medical treatment turned weapon, you are probably in an induced deep sleep. Which makes sense since sleeping issues usually accompany this sort of trauma, if you can't sleep you can't conquer your dreams.  Without sleep your productivity level is lower, your reflexes off.”

This was true.   Sleep was elusive and with it the much needed rest from all the worries of the waking world.  This coin altered her body's chemicals to put her to sleep and then her body reacted to that by fighting to wake up.   It was all simple chemistry, simple as far as the concept but complicated in actual function.  How the body worked was still a mystery.  

“These studies aren't top secret.   I think there should be medical journals and plenty of research within the library.  However, you are going to have to piece together the puzzle and become the alchemist.  You have to decode these runes, every time you see them you have to take note of everything.  Studying alchemy is like taking all these part and making something new out of it.  One alchemist's focus can be so narrow they ignore some vital information, but yet another's might be so disastrously wrong all his findings are dismissed despite having a small stroke of genius.  It's just like digging through someone's trash.   That's what you're going to have to do.”

“Except I'm not an alchemist.” Riza said as they pulled up in front of the National Library.  

“So you won't be distracted by all the information.   You can look for what is most important to your task instead of just soaking up useless knowledge.”  the alternate Riza said and shrugged.  “I admit my weakness, it's really hard to not want to know everything.”

That was what this was about, sorting through all the unfiltered information in her head.   The information from the doctor's office or Roy's notebook he doodled in.  Perhaps it was from her father's scrawl all over the chalkboard in his study or something she listened to while sitting in the park with Ed and Al as they fed pigeons.  She wasn't an alchemist but she certainly swam in the knowledge they lived and breathed.  

“You just...have to do it real fast.” the other Riza reminded her.  “I am worried your body will give out under all this stress.  Not just what happened in East City, but the fact that you're fighting some alchemic hold on your brain.  Your body is producing counter chemicals to override that and flooding your system trying to wake you, trying to shift that balance back to normal.”

“You're right.”  Riza said.  The real and perceived danger were all the same right now.   Worries in here translated to a burden on her body and she had no idea what state her body was in at the moment.  Was she out for days or minutes?   “Stay in the car and listen to the radio.  This is a military car so these channels here will be the military bands and will let you know if they are starting a search here in Central.  The civilian frequencies will have call ins and reporters until the military shuts them down and calms the populous with assurances that everything is under control.   Let me know if something develops, OK?”

“Sure.  If you hear fire alarms, you know it's me.”  

Riza nodded and took her jacket out of the back seat. Then she unbuttoned the epaulet and pulled her rank insignia off and replaced it with Roy's.  She tried to not think about it too much, tried to just methodically place it where it belonged like she had just picked up uniforms from the dry cleaners, however her hand shook as she buttoned it closed and drew her hand away.  She wasn't putting this on Roy's jacket, she was placing it on her own.  Something that offended her professionally and morally, something that she knew he would have been yelling at her to ignore and keep doing what the mission needed.   She shook it all off, it was symbolic and nothing more. Symbolic of the weight now on her shoulders.

She finished quickly and opened the door, stepped out and put her jacket on.  She righted it and buttoned it up, adjusted her gun belt and brushed off her pants.   Then she put her hand in her pocket and felt for his watch and ran her thumb over the crest on it.   The watch was such a source of pride for those she cared about most, a mark of their achievements even if it was also a heavy weight that kept them teetered to the State and reminded them that their services were to the military and not the people.  Still, they both cherished it as a marker of their success and maybe too often flashed it for the sake of vanity.   Roy had been the youngest State Alchemist to be certified until Ed came along;  it was not a new precedent that they set, but a an exemption because of their outstanding ability.   They deserved to be proud of that.

And now they were gone.   At least to this world.  

She took a deep breath and let her hand clench the chain that was clasped to the watch and let it run across her palm as she found the clasp at the end.   Their loss was not just personal, the world was now less three great men who made such a measurable difference in so many lives and made the world a better place.    No matter what the Roy, Ed and Al of this world was focused on, the fact remained that they were capable of anything and would never turn their back on someone needing help or a wrong that had to be righted.   If anything it made her desire to go back to them even greater and she clipped the end of the watch chain to her belt loop before giving the signal for Hayate to join her.

She was not leaving her dog behind. This damned world could fall apart around her and she would be there shielding her dog from it all with her own body.  

The other Riza gave her a good luck wave from the passenger side of the car before going back to reading and she climbed up the marble steps like a soldier, her dog obediently at her side.   She had been here so many times so she knew the layout and she knew procedure, the key to making this work was to assume the authority and shoot down any questions with a glare...the glare of a Lieutenant Colonel.  

That was probably the reason for her stomach churning.   Assuming the authority was one thing, assuming the identity of a Colonel was another.    She worried that would be her undoing, there were so few women in the upper ranks and even fewer among the State Alchemists, any officer who followed and studied the staffing and promotion bulletins would certainly ask questions having never heard of her.   Thankfully that was more of an item for those trying to climb the ranks, officers who tried to requisition rising stars to work under their command in order to be affiliated with them or hinder them, or the gossips in the personnel department who liked to read between the lines of reassignments.   These types would never be caught dead in the library, their research was done in the lunch room or on the phone.   It still worried her because she knew about it from being close to Roy, how he was monitored by upper level officers around the country for promise or weakness and Hughes made a hobby of collecting this data and contributing to it.  It was a possibility and knowing about it meant it could be a fear that materialized here.  

As she reached the door a sergeant held the door for her and for the first time she heard herself addressed as “Lieutenant Colonel.”

It took a second to realize it was directed at her and she hesitated and she saw the sergeant look uncertain.  She had to think quick, she needed a reason she wouldn't just walk past him with the arrogance of her rank and why she would even acknowledge the presence of a NCO.   “The State Alchemist library? What floor?”

“Fourth.   There is an elevator by the service counter.  Ma'am.”

She nodded, that was enough to give an explanation for her hesitation and remind her that she shouldn't know where anything was here.    In this reality she had never been to this library and the staff would certainly recognize a woman patron who was an alchemist walking towards the glass encased elevator in the center of the building.   She could not know her way around here but had to remember to act according to her rank, perhaps if she was a Major she could play it off as a newly commissioned Alchemist who was only bestowed the rank and understood very little of protocol or behavior, but she was a rank higher and that was something earned.    

Lieutenant Colonel Riza Hawkeye. She had to remember that.  

She walked with authority towards the elevator, eyes locked on her destination despite many eyes on her.   This would raise no suspicions, she should not show even the slightest uncertainty in her moves even if they were wrong, that was what Roy would do.   And that was how she was able to play the part, because she had watched and studied him for years and appreciated his presence and the power he commanded because of it.   Of course he would always crack a smile to her in private when he pulled something like this off, because he usually fooled her as well.   She never got angry, she encouraged him.   God she was proud of him for it even if she didn't tell him that enough.   He was the perfect commander, able to convey more without words than most could do with a riveting speech.  She had picked up more than a little alchemy being by his side and it was paying off.  

“Sorry, sir, I need to see identification before you can proceed.”  The Sargent at the elevator stepped forward to the stanchion and waited.

Riza removed the watch from her pocket and watched the magic unfold.  She watched the man's demeanor instantly change to awe and felt the stares and silence in her vicinity.   This was the power they felt when they held out this watch, this thrill that puffed up her chest and made her tingle.   She could see where it would be addictive.  

“Thank you, Lieutenant Colonel. Please proceed.”

The Sargent hit the call button on the elevator and the door opened.   She stepped inside and turned around curtly to watch the doors close and get one last glimpse of all those civilians and military personnel alive watching her in silence, mouths agape and eyes wide.   She touched the button to go up to the fourth floor and waited for the elevator to ascend.  

The elevator itself was designed to be the most ridiculous display as possible and with the sole purpose of putting the State Alchemists on display for those people enjoying the privileged of using the free library provided to them by their government.   It was situated at the center of the building, right behind the main desk and in the center of the spiral staircase that went from floor to floor.  It was the only passenger elevator and it only went to the fourth floor, making it an exclusive mode of transportation for Amestris's prize alchemists.   As the elevator ascended up the visible shaft, patrons stopped and watched her go by, not out of frustration for having to climb the stairs but because she was one of them, a State Alchemist.  The elevator served it's purpose, and quick and easily transportation was not one of them.   As far as elevators went, this one was slow, which allowed for more visibility and side-show attraction time.   She was certain the engineers received a bonus for that.  

The third floor disappeared and finally the shaft was dark again.   When the doors opened she would see the main hallway where her journey usually ended.   Now was the time to compose herself and figure out how she wanted to play this.  She had to remember that this was her first time being here, but she could only let on a minor bit of uncertainty and the key would be in deflecting that and somehow make it seem like the lesser officers fault for not providing her with the information.

The doors opened and she took a few seconds to survey her surroundings, like a good soldier.  Only after she noted the officers and NCOs on duty and the location of the ornate doors to the alchemist library did she take a long stride and exit the elevator.   Hayate was beside her and she walked up to the desk and looked at the clipboards and ledgers on it, biting her tongue to force herself to let the Captain to address her first despite her training.

“Lieutenant Colonel, how may I help you today?”

“This is my first visit to the library, what forms do I need to sign?”  She let loose an audible exhausted sigh.  Forms, documents, signatures would be part of her daily routine.   Accepted and anticipated, but also acknowledged as annoying.  It helped convey that it wasn't just part of her job, it was the part that was a nuisance and a hindrance to the real work she wanted to get done.    She pulled her watch out and set it on the counter, that was something no alchemist would hesitate to show off.

“Just log yourself in.”  The Captain said.  “Unfortunately staff is not allowed in the library so we will not be able to bring you coffee or tea.   That will be in the break room down the hall to your right as well as a rest room. We do close the doors at 10pm.”

She nodded as she signed her name and then wrote 'Flame Alchemist' in the title section.   She was just about assuming all his titles today, she really hoped Roy would appreciate this story when she finally was able to lay in his arms and tell him about every last bit of it.   She could hear him now, whispering in a husky voice, “I am absolutely comfortable with the option of role play if you want to play the Colonel...as long as you are careful what you stroke with my gloves.”

God, she missed him. That dull ache returned, that worry and fear....that feeling of loss and heartbreak.  She heard Hayate's tail thump on the floor as he wagged it and it all was pushed away for later.  She turned the clipboard around and pushed it back across the counter for the Captain to scrutinize, the offer of him checking up on her right in front of her face was enough to make sure he didn't do it until she was in the other room.   “Anything else?”  

“No, sir.  If we can be of assistance, please let us know.”

That was it. No questions.  No phone calls.  Not even a questionable glance at her dog.   Normal soldiers didn't question the State Alchemist, no matter how quirky or curious they may seem.   They wouldn't research her name or moniker, that was not their job and was above their pay grade.   The final walk through of the library at night was done by an alchemist, one that worked in Basque Grand's office.  The log sheet would be taken from the clipboard and brought back to the Alchemist Corps office for filing and documentation.   This may have been a perk of the job, but nothing went without being recorded by the military for use of it's resources.   She would be fine until that officer arrived tonight, that was the one individual who knew every certified and active alchemist in the military, as well as the ones decommissioned and retired.   That was her only threat here.

She walked over to the doors and looked at them, a beautifully carved mahogany door with the crest of Amestris on it.  She put her hand on the handle and pulled, they were heavy but the hinges were heavy duty and well greased and there was a hydrolic piston at the top to assist in the opening and closing of the heavy door.   She and Hayate stepped through the door and onto an expensive rug and waited for the door to close before letting herself take a breath.

She took a few soft steps towards a card catalog in the center of the room, the alchemist library took up the entire fourth floor of the library and the shelves went from floor to ceiling.  The amount of books here were staggering and the oak cataloging system was evidence of that.  It had to be as big, if not bigger, than the one downstairs for the normal library.      

She was quick to move over to the drawers that designated cataloging for books under the topic of “Drea-Dreg” and pulled a piece of paper from a bin to write down call numbers.   Once she found the section that housed the books on dreams she could make her way through the shelves and find what she needed.   She had to work quickly, there was a time limit and she had a lot of material to cover.  Section written down she looked up at the signs hanging from the ceiling to see where she needed to go and off they went.

She didn't worry about who she might meet in here as nobody would recognize her and alchemists did not talk about their research.   Luckily it was mostly empty, probably because the news of murders in East City had already reached Central HQ and most alchemists were reluctant to leave the security of the massive structure just in case the suspect fled to Central.   She found the aisle and noted a table close by where she could bring her books for scanning.   She and Hayate entered the aisle and once she found the section she immediately began running her fingers down the spines of the books for titles.

Anything and everything related to dreams and sleep studies were pulled off the shelf and held in her left arm.   She had to pull a few spiral bound research notes off the shelf to see the titles and then shoved them back when they were deemed unworthy of attention.   It was the only noise she made, reshelfing, and she heard someone move a chair or drop a pencil in another section of the room.  She paused and listened to the pencil roll off the table before returning to her hunt.   After her arm told her the chosen books were heavy enough, she took the selections and went back down the aisle, eager to dump them on the table and get started.

Then Hayate darted in front of her and stopped, braced himself and got his cackles up.  She had her arms full and could do nothing but stand there as the perceived threat materialized around the side of a bookcase.  He heart sped up and the hairs on her neck stood up as her dog growled at the man before them, Solf Kimblee.