#like I said it would be insane if the show could even tackle homophobia in a not-jokey way

[theinfinitedivides]

this is so random but i would love to hear your opinion on mydramalist as a fellow asian drama lover. because it’s obviously well known as a reliable wiki of sorts in dramaland but i beg to differ. (the only plus i feel being the summary and cast list for info)

i mean, i’ve not seen a single comsec w more than two brain cells as a whole? there’s always complaints about female leads rooted from misogyny, they are never happy about story progression, and i just find so many of them kinda dumb sorry lol. like zero media literacy to be found, insufferable arguments, etc. the star ratings are rly just given to popular dramas w high profile actors too.

and i personally find it disheartening that so many ppl end up referring to mdl when considering dramas because so many gems are then lost and not given appreciation.

anon. anon anon anon if you know the way i sat straight the f*ck up when i saw the notification and then read through this ask bc yes. yes to everything here that is exactly it. almost three fourths of what i've watched this year was either 1. not received well by the general MDL crowd (Moon in the Day. where is the taste brethren to not like MITD and not even for reasons that actually make sense), 2. received well but had a good chunk of people bitching in the comment section, or 3. received well but had the main point of the show (and its relevant characterization) go over their heads. (The Worst of Evil aka TWOE comment section, i am f*cking looking at you. i can count on one hand the number of people who understood what that show was supposed to be about) the one fourth that managed to escape was bc the toxicity did not reach the comment section and everyone was pretty f*cking civil. alas if only it could be like that all of the time

case in point for the ratings example, since we've already briefly tackled the lack of media literacy—j-dramas on MDL are notoriously rated much, much lower than either k- or c-dramas. half of the time that's bc there are less users watching (and rating) them therefore the average is lower but the other half it's bc people simply do not understand good media when they see it. don't get me wrong there's some freaky ass sh*t in the j-drama world that i would not touch with a Grinch level pole but to see MDLers out here talking about how slow j-dramas are and that nothing's happening. have you considered that you are either watching the wrong genre or you shouldn't be watching j-dramas in the first place bc their entire setup and general narrative framing arcs are not your style. have you even thought about that for six seconds or are you too busy expecting it to read like a typical tropey rom-com k-drama with your trending oppas. (no hate on my tropey rom-coms with [most of] said oppas, i need them when i don't want to think i just want to see sh*t on my screen and scream about hot people and the Hand Umbrellas in the Rain and the Back Hold when the male lead catches the female lead before she falls and you have the fifteen second focus on their faces just looking at each other)

and the misogyny. oh God do not get me started on the dichotomy that was the Cult, as we affectionatly called ourselves, on the feeds while THEE sageuk of the year My Dearest was airing (beloved show [that i still need to finish. JangChae i'm sorry ily life hates me like the mf it is 😭], beloved commentary on the feeds. they saw the vision on the feeds) vs the sh*tshow that was the landmine field of the comment section (the takes i saw on Gil Chae, Eun Ae AND Ryang Eum respectively.......... the misogyny wasn't enough we had to add the homophobia into the mix. buy one get one free deal fr fr). you mad man. that sh*t was insane there was a point i banned myself from scrolling farther than the cast section until the show finished airing. i kid you not on average they didn't have even half a braincell. maybe a quarter of a quarter of one. f*cked up just say you are not decent people and go

this is not to say that all of MDL is like this. i have gotten tuned into absolute masterpieces of content (and have tuned others, amen) bc of a comment comparing a show i'm watching to another one or a review being posted in the feeds about a film with less than 500 people interested. i have reconsidered my choice to not watch something after having spirited discussions in private messages discussing the pros and cons of the premise and whether they managed to get it done without f*cking sh*t up. i still contribute semi-regularly by adding relatively unknown actors and crew members to the database so they can get the credit due them. if you know where to look, you can get some good sh*t out of that place. problem is most users who are new to both the site and East/Southeast Asian cinema as a whole don't know where to look, and the cycle continues, and the ratings continue to be skewed/bloated and no one pays attention to the plot, if there even is any to pay attention to.

tl;dr: begging people to not let MDL be the be all end all for their drama recs a la 'well MDL doesn't like it so i won't watch it'. babe we have said MDLers complaining about how the ratings on Viki are too high but in my entire time watching dramas i've found that in the past two to three years the Viki ratings are making more sense than the MDL ones. sit with that for a sec. when you're done branch out and see the world (literally and cinematically), i promise you will be a better person for it

[sonicgetsrawed]

Love is Love

All I gotta say is fuck homophobes!!! 💁🏻‍♀️ warnings for homophobia!! Enjoy!!!

Rapunzel’s squeal could be heard from a mile away, the blonde quickly scooping up the two younger boys in a fierce hug. “You guys look adorable!”

“Thanks, but I’d like to be able to, you know, breathe.” Hugo grumbled, trying and failing to get out of Rapunzel’s grip.

“At this point you should just accept it.” Varian laughed, bringing his arms up to return the hug as best he could.

“You know, Sunshine, ponytail is right, they do need to breathe.” Eugene said, patting Rapunzel’s shoulder gently telling her to let go of her victims.

“Right, sorry!” Rapunzel laughed, finally releasing the two boys. “But you do look adorable.”

Varian beamed, placing a kiss to Hugo’s cheek before the older spun him in a little circle. Hugo smiled down at his boyfriend, Varian wearing a pair of cuffed jean shorts, knee high rainbow socks, a grey tank top with the sleeves tied up with blue, purple, and pink ribbons that read ‘bi disaster- stay clear’ in bold print, his cheeks sporting small painted bi flags on them. Hugo was dressed similarly with the same shorts and socks, but his shirt was a grey crop top with pink, yellow, and blue ribbons on the sleeves which read ‘pantastic’ across the front, his cheeks sporting the pan flag on them, his hair tied up in colorful ribbons.

“Thanks! It was hell getting this one into anything that wasn’t a flannel.” Hugo said, slipping his hand into the back pocket of Varian’s jeans as Varian stuck his tongue out at him.

“Believe me, I know.” Eugene said, rolling his eyes as he pulled Rapunzel to his side.

“This is honestly so rude, I feel so attacked right now.” Varian teased, Eugene reaching forward to ruffle his hair.

“You know we love you.” Rapunzel said, trying and failing to hide her laugh behind her hand. “But we can’t show our pride on an empty stomach! Let’s go get some breakfast!”

Rapunzel ran ahead, Varian following quickly behind her, they did have the biggest appetites of the small group so Hugo wasn’t particularly surprised. He was surprised, however when Eugene placed a hand on his shoulder, a questioning look on his face. He couldn’t help the small swell of panic in his gut, he’d gotten more than one shovel talk from the man already and he didn’t expect them to stop anytime soon. “Hey, kid, you think you could paint those little flags on our faces too?”

Hugo smiled brightly, it seemed the holiday of sorts brought out the best in even Eugene. “Does Rapunzel have a makeup palette I can borrow?”

“Hell, I got my own.” Eugene said, clapping Hugo’s back and sending the young man pitching forward as he tossed a small makeup palette into the air. Hugo barely caught it, shooting a glare at Eugene’s back as he sauntered into the restaurant. Hugo took a deep breath, he wasn’t going to let anything ruin his mood today, and followed the group inside.

The diner was one they’d been to numerous times before, a quiet little place on the side of the road, not many people paid it much mind, but it was one of his favorite places. The worn out leather seats and the outdated tables have it a certain charm, and he had spent many nights both alone and with Varian in those booths. It held many special memories and now there’d be another, their first pride festival. Hugo had been many times in the past, but this was the first time he’d get to go with Varian and their friends. He slid into the booth next to Varian, his hand finding a spot on Varian’s thigh as soon as he was settled. Varian smiled at him, his hand resting on Hugo’s knee. Hugo returned the smile, rubbing their noses together.

“Gay.” A group of people snickered from a few tables over, the tone harsh and demeaning. Hugo shot them a glare over his shoulder, Varian giving his knee a light squeeze and shaking his head.

“Ignore them.” Varian said, placing a soft kiss to Hugo’s lips. More snickers sounded behind them.

“They’ve been doing that since we walked in.” Rapunzel said, angrily dumping an insane amount of sugar into her coffee.

Eugene pried the sugar out of Rapunzel’s hands. “It’s not worth it, Sunshine. Besides, Hugo agreed to give us little flags.”

“Really?” Rapunzel beamed, already sliding over to Hugo and Varian’s side of the booth. “Me first.”

“I’ll leave you to it.” Varian laughed, moving over to sit by Eugene as Hugo pulled out the makeup palette. He made quick work of adding their respective flags to their cheeks, almost wishing he’d used makeup instead of face paint for him and Varian solely for the fact that Rapunzel and Eugene’s flags had a slight hint of glitter to them. By the time he’d finished their order had been taken and Varian was back at his side where he belonged.

“So what do we do when we get there?” Varian asked, spooning more whipped cream into his hot chocolate.

“Have fun.” Hugo said with a wiggle of his eyebrows. He intended to say more, but another snicker caught his attention.

“I bet it’s real fun giving it to him up the ass.” One of the girls at the table said.

Hugo was seeing red at this point, those insensitive assholes kept making jabs the whole time they were there. Varian placed a hand on his cheek, lightly shaking his head. “Ignore them, they’re not worth it.”

“I bet you wish your guy gave it to you up the ass!” Eugene yelled across the dining room, standing up in his seat.

“Eugene.” Rapunzel hissed, pulling him back down. “Don’t give them the satisfaction. Let’s just go.”

The group slid out of the booth, not wanting to waste any more time there. They could always grab breakfast somewhere else, somewhere less hostile. They were almost to the exit when another voice echoed behind them. “Ah, I guess we know who wears the pants in the relationship, and I bet you let her peg you too, Eugene.”

Rapunzel froze, a look of anger crossing her face like Hugo had never seen before, her hand twitching at her side. “On second thought-“

“Blondie-“

Rapunzel moved quickly, spinning around and picking up a frying pan that just so happened to be sitting in the middle of the counter, sending it flying through the air. There was a brief moment of silence, an odd second where the pan seemed to be moving in slow motion as it soared through the air, and then it hit its target. The poor unfortunate, well not unfortunate in Hugo’s opinion, the idiot more than deserved it, sap at the center of the table of homophobes got hit square in the forehead with the pan, sending him flying back, his chair tipping over. There was another moment of silence and then all hell broke loose.

“You little bitch!” One of the girls yelled, lunging at Rapunzel, Eugene putting himself between the two. The girl had a smug look on her face, her voice mocking. “You wouldn’t hit a girl.”

“I’m an equal opportunist, cunt.” Eugene said, kicking the girls legs out from underneath her.

Hugo watched the situation unfold with a shocked expression, he hadn’t expected Rapunzel of all people to start a fight and yet here they were. He hadn’t even noticed another one of those sorry excuses for a decent human being sneaking up behind him until the sound of a plate breaking reached his ears. He turned to see Varian with the broken remains of a plate in his hands, the food on the floor with the person, a proud smirk on Varian’s face. It didn’t last long, the boy being tackled to the floor by another assailant. Hugo wasted no time jumping onto that person’s back and wrapping his arms around their throat. He didn’t know where Eugene and Rapunzel were, but given the sounds of the frying pan swinging through the air it couldn’t be far.

“Duck!” Rapunzel yelled, Hugo barely having time to follow the instruction before the frying pan collided with the person’s head, sending them pitching forward. Hugo rolled off their back, his head spinning as he hit the ground. He quickly pulled Varian to his feet, the younger looking a little dazed and sporting a freshly spilt lip, but otherwise in one piece.

“Are you okay?” Hugo asked, cupping Varian’s face as he checked for any more injuries. Varian hummed, nodding his head as he did so. Hugo placed a soft kiss to his forehead, opening his mouth to say more, but Rapunzel interrupted them.

“Well, I think that’s the last of them.” She said, dusting off her hands and tucking her frying pan underneath her arm.

“You did amazing, Sunshine.” Eugene said, wrapping his arm around his wife as they admired their handy work. Hugo and Varian joined them. The group shared a look, each of them knowing exactly what they meant.

“On the count of three?” Varian asked, a smirk already working its way onto his lips. “One, two, three!”

“Fuck you, homophobes!” The group shouted, each sticking up their middle fingers. The small diner erupted into applause. Their victory was short lived as the sounds of sirens reached their ears.

“How the fuck did I know you all would be at the bottom of this?” Cassandra said, pulling her sunglasses off, her arms crossed over her chest as she stared down the group, her badge glinting in the sunlight.

“Yeah, yeah I know the drill.” Eugene said, leading Rapunzel away from the scene and into the cop car. Hugo smiled widely as they left the diner, they’d probably never be allowed back but it was so worth it.

*********************

Twelve hours later they all sat in a holding cell. After hours of processing and three failed phone calls to Nuru, they finally had a moment to relax. Rapunzel was on the women’s side, a line formed around her as she chatted to the other women and braided their hair. Eugene was currently playing a harmonica he’d taped to the underside of the bench a while ago. Varian rested his head on Hugo’s shoulder, their hands linked together.

After what seemed like an eternity Nuru burst through the door. Her sparkly rainbow skirt doing nothing to dim the petite girls fury. “I swear if I have to bail you guys out one more time-“

“I’ll buy you ice cream.” Hugo cut her off, a wide smile splitting her features, the small bi and trans flags crinkling on her cheeks.

“And Amber too?”

“Sure.” Hugo agreed with a tired sigh.

“Great she’s in the car.” Nuru said, stepping to the side so the guard could let them out.

The car ride was silent, Rapunzel and Eugene chatting quietly in the back, while Varian rested his head on Hugo’s shoulder. Hugo placed a soft kiss on top of his head, Varian turning to look up at him, a goofy smile on his face despite the tiredness that lingered in his eyes. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to go to your first pride festival.” Hugo whispered, Varian gently brushing Hugo’s stray hairs out of his eyes.

“It’s okay, I still had fun. Nothing better than telling off a bunch of assholes, right?” Varian said, yawning as he returned his head to its previous position. “Besides, there’s always next year.”

“Yeah, and it’ll be the best year ever.” Hugo said, kissing Varian’s head again as they slowly drifted off to sleep.

[marnz]

pausing my “”productive”” evening to be briefly insane with rage at this extremely stupid, imprecise, and ignorant essay about garth greenwell and ocean vuong, holy shit, i guess punching down is quite easy when you don’t even feel the need to make a point. 

i haven’t finished On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous so I cannot speak to that aspect of the essay other than to say 1) the prose is amazing 2) writing to reach someone is the main function of a writer, you need to approach an emotional work in an emotionally open and receptive manner, 3) the critiques of the novel come across as jealous and a purposefully mean spirited reading. however,

if you READ What Belongs to You, if you READ Cleanness, you understand WHY these books are so sincere and WHY there is so much “”gay suffering”” and it is because the narrator fucking hates himself. This is not a secret. Greenwell’s primary aesthetic project in these books is tackling the intersections of shame and desire. What causes intense shame? The fact that the narrator’s father treated him horribly for his entire life because the narrator is sexually attracted to men--and so Greenwell explores gay sex and intimacy. I don’t think this could have been made more apparent? In the middle section of What Belongs to You the narrator reflects on his relationship with his dying father, and begins by discussing the innocent and familial intimacy between the two of them that vanished immediately when the father realized the narrator was gay, as a child. 

The narrator is “”sincere”” and confessional about everything as a way to convey the intersections of shame and desire using prose that mirrors the looping, sometimes ponderous thought process of the self loathing. He is capable of reflecting on his terrible qualities and unsafe sexual choices, his obsession with self endangerment through sex and his self blame/culpability, because he thinks there is something not only inherently wrong with him, but inherently unlovable. This is something he obsesses about and it is why partially why the book reads as confessional (the other reason is it is the contemporary modern style. Almost every celebrated litfic novelist is doing it nowadays.) Sex is linked danger, shame, and rejection over and over again for the narrator and he struggles to move on from it because it’s all he thinks he deserves! The craft decision to use sex as a way to explore not just shame/desire but the narrator’s character is incredible! More people should do this! In one of the most harrowing chapters of Cleanness, “Gospodar,” the narrator goes to a professional dom and confesses to wanting to become “nothing.” He explicitly engages in humiliation play. Enough said!

The whole “gay suffering gay man sad” thing is NOT done as suffering for shock value or because it’s a sincere belief in what gay people deserve. This was a common critique of What Belongs to You and I agree it’s thankless to read if you went into it expecting gay Pretty Woman or a happy ending, l m a o, especially since one of the other craft projects of the novel is using Mitko to symbolize Bulgaria post iron curtain/””communism.”” Greenwell then uses Cleanness address the gay suffering critiques by exploring the narrator’s relationship with R....and these chapters are absolutely beautiful and moving and healing for the narrator, he finally gets to say shit like:

 “Sex had never been joyful for me before, or almost never, it had always been fraught with shame and anxiety and fear, all of which vanished at the sight of his smile, simply vanished, it poured a cleanness over everything we did” and 

“I caught my breath at [something R did for him], I felt a weird pressure and heat climb my throat. I felt like my heart would burst, those were the words for it, the hackneyed phrase, and I was grateful for them, they were a container for what I felt, proof of its commonness. I was grateful for that, too, the commonness of my feeling; I felt some stubborn strangeness in me ease, I felt like part of the human race.”

I don’t think it’s ever confirmed that the narrator in What Belongs to You is the same narrator as Cleanness but I think they must be because of the social implications of cleanness as related to gay sex and to aspects of shame, especially because in part 3 of WBTY the narrator learns he has syphilis, which is a very publicly disfiguring disease if not treated. It’s sexual leprosy, it is disfiguring shame. We read all of Cleanness understanding certain actions he takes as being because of what happened to Mitko, like insisting on condoms. I think the choice of it being syphilis as opposed to AIDs is purposeful but that is another post i will not be making.

The relationship with R is doomed to fail partially because R also experiences immense shame connected to being gay for a different reason and because the narrator is predisposed to self sabotage and other various reasons. It does end, the narrator goes back to his dangerous sexual practices, and Greenwell is careful to show that part of the reason the narrator does this is because he finds social as well as sexual gratification from it. With R the narrator did not do any form of kink except body worship, but body worship is not what the narrator craves because he craves humiliation play! I think the thing that is most interesting about Cleanness in particular is the way it explores different avenues of intimacy, different modes, you can be with someone for a very long time and feel felt and loved and understood and then be with someone else and feel felt and loved and understood in different, equally important ways. Every single relationship in your life is a trade off of these and your own prioritization of your own needs. Greenwell shows that the narrator’s sexual practices and his love for kink is an important need just as it is a self destructive one because of the linking of shame and desire. This is all made explicit in “The Little Saint” (which we are given to understand is post-R) narrator acts as a dom for once and explores being on the other side of the coin. He gets into it and later finds it very upsetting because for him all shame and humiliation is linked to being gay, which circles back to his father, and the sub ends up explaining to the narrator that you don’t have to dominate someone by humiliating them like that. Like what’s not clicking here!!!!!!! 

My other main frustrations with this essay are:

the linking of sincerity = gay trauma when good art is often about sincerity and sincerity of emotion, either exploring it or eliciting it, even satire, even fucking...marvel movies, lowest common denominator writing wise, try to make their fans feel something

the fact HE CLEARLY DIDN’T READ THE BOOKS. i know Cleanness is set up as a collection of short stories so you have to take it apart line by line  but WBTY is not like that. The shame = bad dad aspect could not have been more clear if it was underlined.

The fact that the essay says Ocean Vuong “is an artist of the memorably obtuse one-liner” as a derogatory thing which is SO rude and comes across as incredibly petty and jealous. Ocean Vuong is a fucking genius. Go after Rupi Kaur if you want to critique a poet who is actually over celebrated, damn

the idea of sincerity = cringe and the inability of many modern critics to moderate their response to a piece of work based on the project or any of its other qualities it is doing instead of like, how it made them feel expressed as sarcastically as possible. I am not a critic but I do not think this is difficult to do. What Belongs to You made me incredibly uncomfortable and sad for much of the book but I was still able to appreciate it? Even when I was like “ahhhhh i hate this” I could understand and appreciate aspects of craft/characterization/emotion/prose/whatever. This is basic shit.

the fact this essay doesn’t even explore the craft genius of Cleanness? it is really subversive to use sex like that in litfic, let alone gay sex...like I understand not liking something just based on your personal tastes but I’m like ?????????? so shocked that the whole craft thing and aesthetic project just doesn’t come up???????? At all?????? ALSO YOU WOULD THINK in an essay that tries to cash in on the outrage of ‘all gay art is suffering’ would explore why the wealthy, straight, white publishing industry and literary elite does invest in gay suffering and the homophobia/history behind it but no! this essay doesn’t even do that!

the fact this got published at all

anyway this essay is stupid and i am stupid for typing up basically an essay about it but like! where else can i do this! if you read all the way to the end pls read Garth Greenwell and Ocean Vuong thanks bye

[cautelous]

arcane bellyaching & whatnot feel free to look away it’s mostly rambling and the result of me being up early for other reasons. also talking about politics i guess if that isn’t your thing

damn they really did pull the “what side are you on? the oppressors or the oppressed? both sides are weighted as the same by this statement, and also here’s some animated police brutality!” thing huh

like yeah sure of course i’m not saying that piltover pre-the-present-day has to be perfect and whatnot (nor does present-day piltover have to be perfect either, but... idk, not a fan of this direction!) and of course that is me speaking about old, independent, single-city piltover - i guess this new one can be as corrupt as it wants for as long as it wants - but like, insanely uncomfortable to have just talked about the way that caitlyn’s outfits and abilities and general thing have become less “detective” and more “militarized cop” and how everyone is eating that up because it’s hot that she has more clothes and it’s hot that she has a SWAT outfit only for. ok here is our trailer with a scene of policemen physically breaking up protests! (of course people do seem to be cringing somewhat at that, which is good, and i am not saying that a work of art/piece of media can’t talk about such things, but like. do we trust riot to?)

like even if that scene is from the past (which considering that arcane seems to be both in the past and present, eh, 50/50) then the implication is just that current piltover hasn’t solved whatever issue caused said protest and also hasn’t stopped brutalizing, because current piltover lore has such delightful color stories as “caitlyn electrocutes someone with a bola net” and “vi lectures rich pilties and physically threatens them for breaking windows for the ~zaunite cause~”. the latter is literally just repeating the message that all property damage in protests is the work of outside forces and actually good real actual protesters are completely peaceful :), you see, and so any property damage during a protest immediately discounts its legitimacy. so like. (and secondarily, child of zaun portrays zaunites as easily swayed by a demagogue, unlike those Very Smart Piltovians and Vi, Who’s Not Really Accepted As Fully Zaunite Anymore You See And That’s Her Character Struggle.)

so either a) nothing has gotten better since however many years in the past that scene in arcane was or b) this is the present, and the present in this work of fiction is just. mirroring reality’s present, which is just... i dunno. i think that a fictional world so apart from our own (to the extent that there’s no homophobia, at least from word-of-god, but idk i also have thoughts on that declaration) can do better than 1:1 mirror our world’s police brutality and class struggles. but i’m always an idealist who’d like to see media do more than darkness for the sake of darkness, or repeat reality for the sake of repeating reality and nothing more.

anyways idk man hope they don’t impart absolutely horrid themes in their multi-million-dollar project (or however much this ended up costing) but considering this starting point i am not very sure of that!

anyways idk x2 there’s totally a way to do a piltover-zaun "cities at war” narrative in old lore framing that shows both the struggles of piltover and zaun and compares and contrasts them. piltover “wins” in that framework because zaun is a hypercapitalist hellhole and old piltover’s implications are closer to a steampunk utopia than anything else, but i think the point of that narrative wouldn’t be “see, both sides are bad! and good! equally! just a big old moral perfectly-balanced scale!” like this seems to be shaping up to be, but like. showing that there is goodness and good people even under the most soul-crushing of states (zaun. and also a narrative that i think is important, considering how often we confuse being a citizen of a country for being a follower of that country’s government’s ideology) and that a good nation* and good lives for its citizens has to be worked for with blood, sweat, and tears - and even then it is so easy to fall back into old patterns of behavior and fall upon old prejudices and backslide into a “more comfortable” (for some), but worse society (piltover. and, again, also a narrative that i think is important).

*i have many thoughts about if a nation can be “truly good”, but i would be mad if i thought league or most media would touch the idea of a stateless society with a ten-foot pole. so we’re just working within reason here.

i dunno. tl;dr not very excited at riot choosing to tackle police brutality in their fun animated series for fans when their track record with revolutionaries is what it is. (yes xayah and rakan are portrayed in a positive light yes that’s the gottem everyone uses for when people bring up how xerath and sylas are treated. there are multiple types of revolutionaries and the lovebirds are of a stripe (a feather?) that is easier to market.) not very excited (still, what a surprise) about zaun being squeezed into entirely being the poor underclass, because i feel like that nukes a lot of narratives you could have done with old zaun that would, you know, be directly critical of capitalism and whatnot. there are very interesting stories to tell with these two cities, and i’ve told some of them and my friends have told some of them, and i am just tired of this... bottom-of-the-barrel gritty-to-be-gritty low-hanging-fruit take that riot has chosen. i think that a company, even one making a mass-market game, who tries so hard to convince everyone that they have serious lore for serious people can and should do better than this.

what do i close this ramble with. go play disco elysium? yeah. let’s go with that. go play disco elysium. i like it and think it does a variety of complex themes that other works can only dream of.

[robertjacobsugdens]

Or: Robert nominates aaron for queer eye but the fab 5 show up and are like “actually his wardrobe is p great u on the other hand... let’s do some work” and manage to get the floral print shirt resurrected

Okay so, I know you sent me this beautiful ask, but also you get partial writing credit because this is based on the chat we had about it the other day.

I imagine Aaron would get like, nominated as a joke by Charity, because she’s Charity and she didn’t think he’d ever do it. But guess what Charity??? Robert thought it would be good publicity so here they are. Some more willingly than others.

Usually, it’d be just Aaron, but lbr, going to Emmerdale and not trying to fix Robert’s life is a missed opportunity.

Anyhow, Karamo would be like, immediately tackling Robert’s internalized homophobia, everyone would cry, it would be beautiful and poignant. I got no jokes about that. It would just be straight up great television. He’d try to tackle Aaron’s mental health and immediately realize Aaron’s actually got a pretty good grasp on it already, so he changes course.

Karamo, a man who doesn’t know RJS that well: you know, you could tell your husband he’s hot every now and then

Aaron: nah

Because Aaron knows that a Robert who’s given a compliment by his husband is a too powerful Robert. Who even knows what might happen??? Nothing good probs.

Bobby immediately goes in and cries because the Mill is perfect??? There’s nothing to change??? Except at some point he’s gonna flip a switch and the entire place is finally gonna be bathed in light and Aaron’s gonna be “good job, mate, never could figure out what that switch was for”. Robert was just a fan of mood lighting and never said anything about it. Bobby is just about to live his best week on the show when they decide to send him to re-do Vic’s living room. He doesn’t deserve this, but life isn’t fair.

Jonathan is so easy going and fun that he even manages to charm Robert and Aaron. You think that’s easy? That’s not easy. But Jonathan is just like That. He immediately throws away all of their hair gel, because the man understands the value of not looking like you submerge your head in a vat of glue every morning. But you also know he’s going to give them a morning routine that’s easy and quick for the modern gay dad on the go, yk? Like. Especially considering that Robert and Aaron are probably gonna have seven thousand more children. A man’s gotta be quick in the morning. 

Poor, sweet, beautiful, La Croix-loving Antoni was not ready for this. He and Robert immediately argue about pasta consistency and it’s a massacre. Why does Robert think he knows more than an actual real life chef? I don’t know, but he does and Antoni, being a person who values his own sanity, immediately decides to focus on Aaron, a man who can make three things. When the time comes and the Fab Five are all huddled on the couch watching Aaron prepare a romantic meal for his husband, everything goes wrong and Antoni has a deep moment of personal reflection where he genuinely considers a change in careers. Maybe he’ll go herd sheep instead. Sheep don’t get snarky when you try to talk them through simple meal prep and then completely botch it. Sheep are chill. And then Robert comes home and he’s like, genuinely loving Aaron’s meal and Antoni’s like “you know what, these people are insane, this is not my fault” and boy was he right.

Tan, a beautiful angel, tries to get Aaron into a patterned shirt and it’s just. It just doesn’t go well. The first full on five minutes stare-off ever aired on tv, unedited. Poor Tan in the end has to admit defeat and just cry at the fact that Aaron’s wardrobe is half cheap garbage and half expensive ass clothes for whatever reason. With Rob, on the other hand, Tan is living his best life. He gets him into some nice fitted jeans that don’t make my eyes bleed, and then he finds the secret stash of loud and beautiful/hideous floral shirts Robert keeps buying but never wearing. NEVER AGAIN. Every beautiful shirt is going back into rotation baby. The entire world watches with baited breath as Robert wears that one floral shirt again. We finally, collectively, know peace.

In the end it’s difficult to say who’s been changed more by this experience, but I’m gonna go with the Fab Five, because at least three of them have seriously considered quitting the show while filming this episode. Meanwhile, Robert and Aaron are more insanely in love than ever.