#let's try this again since it didn't work when i posted from my drafts

[lunarmothim]

a thing of beauty - kyle garrick x reader

It had always amazed you, how easily you could bring Kyle to his knees, this beautiful man who could've been a model but chose to take down terrorists for a living. A man who killed people at work then came home and looked at you with warm eyes through long, dark lashes you'd always been jealous of like you hung the stars in the sky just for him. He's absolutely breathtaking. Living proof that God has favorites, every inch of him a work of art.

word count: 1.7k tags/warnings: i tried to do some plot what plot? but here we are with some fluffy head instead :D established relationship, oral (m receiving), afab/fem presenting reader (brief mentions of periods)

When you pictured your future as a kid- the kind of life you'd lead, the kind of person you'd marry, grow old with, you never once imagined Kyle.

If anything, Kyle was the antagonist in your otherwise picture-perfect story, the annoying boy next door who ran after you with worms, laughing while you screamed, who shoved handfuls of snow down the back of your coat during snowball fights, who liked to tease you by tugging your hair when he sat behind you in class.

He's just doing it because he likes you, your mum had cooed when you complained to her about him, even well after you'd passed the age where that logic would be something believable. At the time you'd huffed at her in irritation, telling her she didn't know him like you did, that he was mean and would she please just talk to his mum and make him stop?

He did, eventually, when you grew older and chasing you with worms turned into chasing you down the hall, giving you his jacket to tie around your waist when you unexpectedly got your period during history class. When hands shoving snow down your clothes turned into hands awkwardly holding your hips while he kissed you in a closet at Maggie Luwin's fifteenth birthday party, your friends jeering at you through the door until your seven minutes were up. When tugging your hair became pulling your hair, one hand fisted in the strands and the other over your mouth while you both tried not to wake his roommate in a tiny uni dorm room.

No, those were not moments you had ever imagined Kyle being involved in.

And you certainly had never imagined him grinning up at you from one knee in the middle of a Tesco, telling you that you were the only person he could imagine doing something as mundane and domestic as debating over cereal choices with for the rest of his life, so would you please do him the honor of marrying him? No plan, no ring, just that pretty smile of his you'd never thought you'd fall in love with and a promise to do it right, do it better, if you'd only say yes-

Which had brought you here, perched on his lap with the ring he'd picked up on his way home from the airport four months after the proposal on your finger while he presses soft, lazy kisses to your throat, the dinner you'd started for your engagement party forgotten in the slow cooker.

("I'll get you somethin' bigger," he'd promised, down on one knee again with a tired smile.

"Don't you fuckin' dare," you'd replied, dragging him up off the ground to kiss you.)

"So pretty," he sighs against your skin, large palms warm against your back through your shirt. "And all mine. How'd I get so lucky, huh?"

"I'll let you know when I figure it out," you can't help but tease him, soft and breathy, and he chuckles low in his throat, pulling you tighter against him. He's hard beneath you, sliding those warm hands down the velvety fabric of your skirt while his nose nudges gently against your jaw, a silent request to give him better access to your neck. The tilt of your head to the left comes without argument, but with a soft warning. "Kyle, we don't have time for this."

"We can make time," he murmurs, grazing his teeth over your pulse with just enough pressure to make you melt into him, his voice a low rumble against your throat. "They'll understand. Should've celebrated together first, anyway."

"You have the rest of your life to celebrate with me," you try again, but there's no real fight to your words, no move made to stop him from slipping his hands beneath your skirt and up your thighs.

You both know that you'd caved the second he tugged you into his lap.

"Even that's not enough time," he laments, dragging his mouth up in search of yours. You taste the icy edge of a menthol on his breath under the sweet mint gum he'd tried to hide it with, probably bummed from the neighbour despite his promises to quit, but you don't care to chastise him for it right now- not when his fingers, long and impossibly delicate for his line of work, are creeping up your outer thighs to catch on the thin lace of your panties, giving them a playful tug. "C'mon, love, just a little taste."

"'Just a little taste,'" you mock him, retaliating with a nip at his lower lip that has him laughing, tugging the plush flesh between your teeth as you draw back. "Last time you said that you missed drills and John came by for a wellness check."

"Hey now, no need to bring him into this," Kyle responds, tugging at your panties again. "I can be quick-"

"You said that, too. Think we have different definitions of the word, babe."

"Oh yeah? What's yours, then?"

It's the wrong thing to say- or maybe the right thing, if his reaction to the way you shift back along his thighs in response is anything to go by, pupils blowing wide when you drag your nails down the hard planes of his abdomen to the edge of his belt. He inhales, slow and controlled, when you tug his blue button up out of its neat tuck, but his exhale when you trace the shape of his belt buckle with one knuckle is shaky. A shudder melts down his spine, the sweet dark honey of his eyes following every steady movement of your hand.

It had always amazed you, how easily you could bring Kyle to his knees, this beautiful man who could've been a model but chose to take down terrorists for a living. A man who killed people at work then came home and looked at you with warm eyes through long, dark lashes you'd always been jealous of like you hung the stars in the sky just for him. He's absolutely breathtaking. Living proof that God has favorites, every inch of him a work of art.

You look at him sometimes and can't understand how someone like him could want someone like you. But he does, and it leaves you breathless.

The button of his jeans slips out with ease, followed by the rasp of his zipper. He lifts his hips to help you work the dark denim down his thighs until you can pull his cock free, trailing your fingers up the length of him. He moans soft and low at the touch, the whisper of your thumb grazing over the head.

Dark eyes, wide black circles ringed with honey, find yours when you slowly raise your thumb to press it into your mouth, the tip salty with his precum.

"Christ, love," Kyle groans, sucking in a harsh breath when you slide down out of his lap, settling on the floor between his knees. "Thought you said we didn't have time?"

"Oh, now you care?" you tease him, looking up at him through your lashes. His hips jerk when your hand circle the base of him, those pretty eyes half-lidded and hazy, the column of his throat stretching taut when his head tips against the back of the couch. Beautiful. You tell him as much, murmuring it against his knee and feeling him pulse beneath your hand.

You whisper it again if only to hear the soft noise he makes in response, something like a purr rumbling in his chest. His fingertips brush over your cheeks, gently caress your jaw, catch under the edge of the bone and press in to guide you forward.

"Fuck," he sighs, hands sliding back to gather your hair at the nape of your neck, out of your face, when you take him into your mouth, salt-slick and heavy against your tongue. His thumbs sweep over your hollowed out cheeks, groaning again when you hum softly in thanks. He already sounds utterly wrecked, raw and undone and you haven't even done anything yet. "Fuck, love. Look so pretty with your mouth on my cock."

God, he even sounds pretty, letting out the most delicious little whimper when you reward his praise by throating him to the base.

The tick of his watch by your ear reminds you of your purpose here, your demonstration of the word quick. Five minutes from start to finish is your record, a skill he'd learned you had in a cramped supply closet on base one day when you'd brought him lunch, your mouth wrapped around him damn near dropping him to the floor.

Bracing one hand against his thigh, you reach up with the other until you feel the stretch of his throat beneath your palm. The tip of his tongue swipes over the pad of your finger when you hook it into his mouth, using the leverage to pull his head down until he meets your eyes.

He's gone, mouth falling open in a deep moan that has you squeezing your thighs together, the anchor of his hand against the back of your head becoming a steady hold as he bucks up into your mouth. Neatly trimmed, wiry curls scratch at your nose as he spills hot and thick down your throat, fingers flexing against your skull in a stuttered clench-and-release until he goes still, breathing hard.

You draw away slowly, hollowing your cheeks as you drag back up his length. You think he might shove you right back down when you swirl your tongue around the head, lapping up every last drop of his release, but his hand falls slack to his side instead, squeezing against the couch cushion.

"That wasn't fair," he wheezes around your finger still in his mouth, biting down gently just above the metal of your ring. "Gonna be the death of me."

"Not yet," you tease, squeezing his thigh and using it to push up to your feet, withdrawing your finger as you lean in to kiss him. You can almost feel his smile when you drag your lips up to his ear, nipping at the lobe. "But maybe when our guests leave."

mdni banner by @/cafekitsune line divider by @/gildui

please like/reblog if you enjoyed! :)

[mistymisfit]

Hounds of love

Summary: Jason wakes up from a bad dream, lucky for him he's got you to make him feel better. Based on the song Hounds of love by Kate Bush (and that post I made in april)

warnings: hurt/comfort, established relationship ,I think it's gender neutral but lmk if I missed anything.

wc: 1,5k

a/n: sorry for the --summarized-- psychoanalysis class lol (this has been in my drafts since april idk why I didn't post sooner)

Jason had always yearned for love, any type of love he could get. Ever since he was a child, afraid and hiding in the dark cold streets of Gotham, he's always wanted to be loved- to be so full of love he wouldn't be able to take it anymore. But he's always been a coward, every time someone would get close enough he'd start fighting it, self-sabotaging as if he subconsciously knew he did not deserve it. His own father, his mom, his stepmother, Bruce, he'd been let down time and time again by the adults in his life supposed to protect him. If they couldn't give him what he wanted, love him, who could?

The dread, or rather the certainty he had over being unlovable shadowed over him, as much as he tried to push it down and pretend he didn't need it. His own biological parents left him, they never wanted him. The very people who were supposed to love him, he was their son. They brought him into this world, it was their responsibility. Then he'd say he didn't even like Bruce to begin with, who cares if he chose to adopt him? Who cared if he looked up to him so dearly once as a child? He had died under his care, Jason had almost everything he wanted and went ahead and ruined it-- all because he was too afraid to accept it, because he was too stubborn. You just had to go after him on your own, he'd blame himself.

Now he keeps having this recurring dream; he's being chased by something in some woods, and he keeps running. He wants to ask for help, he really does but his mouth won't open. Then he gets to a lake, takes his shoes off, throws them in the lake and takes two steps on the water. Some days that does it, he feels like the thing is no longer chasing him. But most days he wakes up before he can feel he's lost the thing chasing him.

Tonight he's holding a wounded fox in his hands, attacked by bigger animals, in the midst of escaping. The poor thing looks at him with kind, almost human, eyes. He feels its little heart pounding fast on its chest, the little animal feels familiar. He knows this fox from somewhere else. How else would it let him hold it? Why else would he stop running, too guilty to leave it alone? He feels ashamed of running away, but he has to. He's too scared to be there, he doesn't know what makes him so afraid to leave the poor animal on its own. None of this was real, there was nothing following him, he's never seen what's after him. So why couldn't he stay with the fox?

This night he wakes up sweating, agitated and with his heart kicking his ribs. He immediately kicks off the covers, and takes off his shirt when he feels the cotton starts to itch and stick to his skin. He knows he should try to calm himself down before he wakes you up, you had to be up in a few hours.

"Jay?" You slur, barely a whisper.

"Sorry my love," He apologizes, looking back to you rubbing your eyes "I'll go sleep on the couch"

"mmm, stay" you hum, still groggy with sleep but a hand of yours reaches out for him "bed's too cold"

He takes your hand in his before cuddling back next to you under the covers, limbs getting tangled together once again. And before he knows it he's got his head on your chest as you wrap your legs around him to keep him close.

"Where'd your shirt go?" You mumble, hands softly going across the expanse of his back.

"You complaining?" He teases to distract you and it works because you shake your head no with blushed cheeks. His hands sneaked under your clothes to hold you in a way that was almost a tradition now. He'd reach for your skin just to feel you there, to make sure you're safe and next to him and you weren't some hallucination he'd made up in his loneliness. If Jason had to he'd die and come again, crawling out of his coffin if it only meant he'd get to hold you like this one more time.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You ask

"About what?" He hums, too comfortable in your embrace to even be bothered with remembering what he was so stressed about.

"Why you are awake" There's a beat of silence after the sentence has come out of your mouth. The only thing that can be heard is the city's never-sleeping traffic in the distance. He doesn't want to burden you with something as measly as a dream, so what if it made him wake up in a sweat? It made no sense so he had no reason to be upset.

"Had a bad dream, wasn't really a nightmare..." He confesses after the silence." 's stupid go back to sleep"

"It's not stupid, tell me about it"

"Baby" He sighs, hoping he sounds pissed off enough for you to drop the subject.

"What? A dream can be your subconscious trying to get something you can't when you're awake"

"Mine must hate me"

"It doesn't, but it may want something youre not aware of"

"Since when do you know so much about dreams? Nerd" He teases, nuzzling his head to you. Realizing you're just as stubborn as him, he accepts defeat and tells you about his dream, "There's a thing chasing me and I'm running through some woods"

"What's the thing?" You ask

"I don't know" He scoffs, quick to dismiss it.

"Just think about it," You hike your leg higher up his waist and squeeze him closer to you if it was possible. "how did it feel?"

Tangling himself with you to the point where he can't tell where you end is where he feels like he can be vulnerable. Only when it feels like he might just become one with you he can let his guard completely down. So he sighs and takes a moment to do what you ask. He knows damn well what is after him, he's always known.

"Me, I think," He hides his face even further into your chest."my feelings"

You only hum in response, so he asks "Is it hard to love me?"

Now you understand where the dream came from. The moment he connected the thing chasing him with its meaning awoke an insecurity, something he was trying to keep buried down. So you waste no time in your reply.

"Loving someone has never come easier to me"

He finally lifts his head up, big blue eyes swelling up with tears. He looked so helpless but at the same time so full of devotion for you. He's loved, you love him, so it must mean that he can be. If he's deserving of your love, your selfless and pure love, then he's not unlovable. He kisses your jaw, and then your neck hearing a soft sigh of his name coming out of your lips. Knowing he's handed you his own heart in a silver platter, that he is yours to do as you please, Jason can rest at ease that you'd never harm him.

"Why do you ask?" You don't let yourself get distracted by his kisses.

"It's just that-" He sighs, maybe he can be vulnerable one more time with you. So he fights against the need to push you away and tries to find the right words "Don't think anyone's ever felt that with me, ever"

"Jay, your father became a henchman to provide for you," you point out, holding his face with both of your hands "Catherine raised you like her own, and believe it or not Bruce loves you, even if he's too emotionally constipated to show it"

He scoffs at that last part, blinking away the tears brimming his eyes, which, in your opinion, made them look shiny like a tainted glass panel in a church.

"Your older brother, loves you too, he calls me to see how you're doing every other week 'cause you won't answer him" You continue, "So does Alfred"

"Let's go back to sleep, okay?" He stops you; the sudden reality check is much more than what he could process at the moment. He's been so deep into his own thoughts, what he believed to be truth, that he didn't even bother to see it from a different perspective.

"You didn't even tell me what happened in your dream" You insist with a pout.

"I'll tell you tomorrow, I'm sorry I kept you up"

"I'm not" You smile, giving him a quick peck on the lips. A hand cups your cheek, making the kiss longer. You know that if he was on a better mood he would've said something along the lines of it not being a proper kiss. You giggle against his lips, and Jason just wonders how was he ever able to function without you.

[skulkingfoxes]

A post-mortem of "Good Morning, Rose"

A few weeks ago, I posted my addition to the comic anthology GLIMM*R, a short comic called "Good Morning, Rose".

The reaction to it has been so uplifting and exciting. It really seemed to struck a cord with people, which, really, the best thing for me to hear as a creator. I absolutely love writing and making short comics, you can do much with so little, explore such interesting stories. The feedback I've gotten has been very heartwarming! It makes me want to explore short stories even more!

But, first, I want to talk about some of my feelings and about the process of making "Good Morning, Rose". This got a bit long, so you'll have to indulge me a bit. You should also read the comic first before reading this. Don't worry, it's only 8 pages.

Now the preamble is out of the way, lets go back to the beginning.

The idea of "Good Morning, Rose" was a nugget in my brain for a long time! Originally it was actually from the Dreamwalker's point of view, where she was a faceless entity who had a long term relationship with Rose and was trying to figure out how to explain that their relationships only were in Rose's dreams. It was a story about seeing, accepting, and loving each other truly and fully, and the trials and tribulations of getting there. Also a cute girl with an ancient eldrich being is always fun to explore.

A lot of it was too convoluted, emotionally and storywise. It also required to get into what the Dreamwalker actually was, which I ended up really not liking. So, ultimately, the idea didn't work, and I put it down. I ended up going to do my short comic Twigs instead.

When I was invited into the wlw anthology GLIMM*R and was told that the theme was "dreams", I decided to take another stab at the concept. This time, I inverted the pov, it's now Rose's story. And instead of a long term relationship, it was about the powerful first feeling of a perfect (maybe even too perfect?) first date.

One of the hardest thing to write in romance is getting readers to care about the relationship in the first place. To have the readers believe in the character's feeling, to be invested in their romance. This is even harder to do when you only have 8 pages to do it. Focusing it around a first date helped a lot in that case. There I'm not trying to sell that these two character will love each other forever and forever, just the fluttering first butterflies of realizing you're developing feeling for someone. It's why I leave it so open-ended about whether the two of them meet again at the end of the comic, or even if it was real in the first place. It's just not the point of the story.

That's something important about writing short stories, I find. You really have to hone in on an idea, on a thought. Take a simple idea and try to find all of the interesting layers. It's too easy to try to stuff a short story with too many ideas that ultimately go unfulfilled. In fact, the first draft of the comic, at the time called "Dream Date", there was a big problem with this and the pacing.

Here, take a look at the first stab at the roughs:

(BTW, there is something so fun about roughs for me lol. The art is so kinetic and loose, all about just getting the story across)/

As you can see, a lot of the ideas and imagery made to the final version of the comic. But both the initial readers and I agreed that the beginning and end were good, but the middle was messy and slowed things down. You can also see that I got stuck in the same problem I did when I first conceived of the story, it's bogged down trying to understand the Dreamwalker in a way that actually hurts the story. You simply dont have any room for bad pacing a short comic like this. I need to focus more on the character's and their emotions and exploring their actual relationship rather than blandly trying to explain the situation. A friend also suggested that I should hone in on the fluid dream-like aspects of the first couple of pages, especially since it's so fun to explore in the medium of comics. So I got to work gutting it out and trying again with the new, much stronger imo, direction.

Also there were some issues with the page format that needed changes for printing, thus the final spread had to be split up. Which is a shame, but oh well, it still works. I also honed in a lot more on Rose and her insecurities. I ended up putting a lot of myself into Rose. I'm glad readers seems to able to relate to her.

After figuring out the the story and the pacing, I went and, well, made the comic. Once you've done as many comic pages I have at this point, once you figure out a process, the actual drawing is fairly straightforward. Eventually, after thinking, and drawing, and toiling, and revising, and thinking hard about my life choices, I come out of the other end of the tunnel with a comic. One that I ended up really liking. One that other people ended up liking, which is always crazy to me.

I got a lot of interesting reactions to the comic. One demographic thinking it was sweet, wanting more of it (always a flattering thought), and enjoying the romance. Other remarking on the bittersweetness of it all, finding your soulmate in a dream, maybe never to see them again if they were even real in the first place. There were a lot of people remarking how they had a similar dream, one where they met someone they seemed totally and completely convinced that they were real and told the dreamer so, until the dreamer woke up. There was one person who asked if I had met the dreamwalker myself. Alas, my dreams are not this romantic and straightforward.

But all of us can hold hands, nod at each other, united by one universally true statement: big eldritch lady hot.

There's a lot of little bits I can talk about, like how Rose's dress is actively modeled after selkie dresses because I think they're cute, or some other trials and tribulations. But I think I've finished all I have had to say. I hope you enjoyed this and will stick around for my future projects! I definitely want to explore more short stories in the next year, especially as I am illustrating big graphic novels for my day job and don't have the time or energy for huge projects.

Till then, thank you so much! Happy holidays and have a good new year!

[compressingsins]

|| Mismatched

Yandere Grimmjow x Chubby f!reader

Warnings : Insecure reader, obsessed Grimmjow, body worship, aftercare, very touchy Grimmjow, little plot, detailed nsfw, marking. This is a nsfw 18+ fic, minors please do not interact.

“I want you to be mine, woman.”

Hello all! So I’m back (I’m not dead!), but this is just my comeback post! I know I haven’t posted in an entire year, but now I’m back and I’m gonna try to post more! I have a bunch of drafts I need to finish, so this is just like a post to show I’m still posting! Even if it flops which it might, I wanted to post something and here it is! Grimmjow is a hottie with little recognition, so here ya go!

Please do not copy or rewrite my works without my permission. 🫥

How'd you end up in a cave in Huecho Mundo with an Espada, was a long story. You're a Soul Reaper, yet he hasn't tried attacking you, not even once even if you did attack him. You were previously injured and when the Espada took you away, he treated your wounds at the best of his abilities, which honestly confused you. You've seen this Espada in action before, Grimmjow, one of Aizens strongest subordinates.

He frightened you of course, and you were even more petrified as you didn't know what he was planning on doing with you. What's even weirder is that you could sense no intentions of harming you, from him, his body sitting across from yours seeming carefree. It's almost like the Espada was... protecting you, or whatever you honestly had no idea. You weren't going to let your guard down to him completely, still watching him closely from afar.

The light of your Kido spell displaying your shadows, both of you sitting on opposite sides of the cave you were in. There was no fear in your body, but you had kept your eyes on the cyan haired male, though he was looking at the ground in silence. With a low sigh, you gulped to question him but you were cautious and simply wanted to know one thing. Once you cleared your throat, Grimmjow looked up at you across from him.

"Why... why am I here?"

Your body tensed from the sharp glare he sent you, and your nerves went into overdrive once he stood up. Still sore and injured from your previous battle with a Hollow, you tried your best in just backing away from the Espada, unaware of what he was doing. You flinched and pulled your hands in front of your face, shielding yourself as he crouched inches before you.

You were surprised since he didn't do anything, slowly dropping your hands from your face to see him looking unexpectedly calm. When you've seen him, he was always loud and aggressive, energetic and dangerous but for whatever reason, you didn't feel in danger right now. Why he was being this way with you was so unknown, as you didn't dare question him for it may upset him.

"Put your hands down, I'm not gonna hurt you, woman."

Only being able to look at him, you slowly let your hands drop to your sides and eyed the male who continued staring into your eyes. There was something in his eyes, like a hint of peace, sadness and concern but it was odd to you. If he was feeling like this, why, you didn't know but still you didn't want to cut him off. He was inches away from you, though, and it didn't fail to make you flustered.

"What's your name?"

An arched eyebrow displayed your confusion, Grimmjow still waiting patiently for you to say something. That patience, however, quickly ran out as his aggressive voice rung in your ears.

"I said tell me your damn name, girl."

You jumped from that, your words almost instantly coming out but it didn't help the second of fear that penetrated your body, stuttering a bit over your words.

"It- it's ____..."

"____."

The way he repeated your name was... well something you didn't expect, something cute and honestly you wanted to hear him say it again. You weren't being weird with yourself or anything, but you just wanted to hear it again because he said it, like it meant something to him. Your name wasn't a name that was big or important, so that's why it made you feel the way it did.

You didn't want to upset him or anything but you had a question for him, biting your lip before your eyes trailed back to his face. The mask on his face interested you and it failed to scare you, and you found him particularly... sweet, in a way? He treated your wounds when he didn't have to, and with his clothes that he shredded to patch up the cuts amongst your skin.

Gulping harshly on your spit, swallowing the lump in your throat, you prepared yourself once more to question him.

"May I ask... why did you, bring me... here?"

An ice cold glare was shot at you, making your breath hitch and your body once again began to try and instinctively retreat. Once he saw that, his blue eyes softened and stared you down like before, calm and collected. Still, he didn't seem of a threat or like he was going to harm you so almost instantly, you relaxed.

"I want you to be mine, woman."

You couldn't believe how straight forward he was, a gasp of air escaping you a second after hearing his bold words. Was he serious, you're a Soul Reaper and he's an Espada, that was near impossible. Besides, you think you're basic and he's particularly handsome, so you didn't understand why he supposedly wanted you.

Also as a different race, you would expect him to want one of the same as him and not an enemy. You were honestly going to deny it but you didn't know how to, maybe he'd get upset and aggressive like he usually is when you see him in the World of the Living. You knew you couldn't match him at all, so you didn't want to risk that besides the fact that you're still injured.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

You couldn't tell if he was serious or not but you were all ears right now, curious as to why he wanted you to be his. You didn't know what he really wanted and maybe his words were true but it too made you think that it was all a trick, a trick to give up information. You really didn't have any but you had enough, some that would be very futile to give up.

"We're enemies, why? That doesn't seem... logical."

For a brief moment he was silent, observing your face that was slightly contorted in confusion. A growl emitted from his throat, overflowing through his mouth once it opened to speak.

"You interested me, when I first saw you. Originally, I was just supposed to bring you back with me but seeing you on multiple occasions made me fall for you. Aizen wants me to bring you back for information, but I don't give a shit what he wants. I want you here with me even if you or anyone else doesn't like it."

"Why me? I'm a Soul Reaper and you're-"

"I know what the hell I am!"

His outburst caused your entire body to shudder with slight fear, but he calmed once he saw how scared you looked after that.

"I can't explain it but when I first saw you, something about you attached me. That's never happened before, with anyone, and I hate myself for feeling this way about you. Can't even fucking focus... just because you're on my damn mind."

He seemed like he was dying to tell someone this, specifically you, and it was kinda nice knowing someone felt like this about you. Still you didn't know if it was real or not, but you found your heart warming from listening to him speak. He was kinda... cute acting like this, making your body heat up with comfort that unexpectedly indulged your body.

"You're staying here to live with me, ____."

That shot a dart of fear through your body, hoping he wasn't serious with his words. You didn't want to leave your home and live in a World full of Hollows, though he is an Espada, a strong one at that. That still didn't make a difference because you didn't know him, nor did you want to stay in this hell of a place, leaving your friends.

"But I have a life in the Soul Society and the World of the Living..."

Your words were quiet, shallow and it's obvious why they were. He seemed to have expected your timid and shy behavior, staring into your face with a sense of worry, worry that he'd have to force you to stay here with him. He didn't want to have to do that but he would, if you wouldn't willingly come. His question though, grabbed your attention...

"Come on, can you honestly say you're happy living there? Yeah, letting people talk shit and treat you any type of way isn't living. That's tolerating that shit..."

You could honestly say you agreed with him, gasping and looking into his eyes that shined with a certain sparkle your heart couldn't handle. He seemed genuinely concerned for you, like he actually wanted to be with you but you still couldn't trust it. He's of the enemy which makes it hard to believe anything he said to you.

His words seemed legit though, but that could've just been you being gullible and vulnerable to anyone, like most of the time. His face was unreadable and you didn't want to play yourself, just because he was the one responsible for some of your friends injuries. Nearly killing two of your friends was even worse, the thought tightening your chest.

You just couldn't come to terms with what was true and what was not, how could you trust an enemy? Even if he is telling the truth, how could you be with someone you've never acquainted with, let alone always fight when you saw him. You were surprised when his hand took a hold of your chin, tilting it up to meet his gaze before he let his hand retreat back to his side.

"You're too damn stubborn, letting those people run all over you, ____. I wanna protect you from all their bullshit, keep you here... safe with me. Honestly, I'm fucking desperate... desperate for you and if you don't willingly stay, I'll force you to so make your choice."

His face was contorted in anger but you could tell he wasn't upset, no bad energy radiating off of him which relieved your tension just slightly. Maybe he was right, you were gullible, because you were honestly believing everything he was saying to you. Disappointed as you were in yourself just for believing him...

"Those damn idiots don't deserve you." You didn't understand why he was being this way, only seeming to want to kill everything he came across, "You fucking let them push you around, just because you're weaker than them. You shouldn't be scared of those pieces of shit..."

He wasn't lying when he said your supposed to be friends talked shit about you, but you always just thought it was on a joking level. Even if it occured nearly everyday, you still just took their words as jokes. When he called you weak though, it made you gasp out in shame and disappointment, though you do need more training.

Just haven't realized you were as weak as he made you seem caused a wave of embarrassment to flood your veins. A growl that emitted from his chest averted your gaze back to his face, seeing him a little closer to you, on both his knees with his face closer to yours. Your entire body tensed, your cheeks ghosting with crimson shades that changed your skin nearly entirely.

He didn't seem phased by how close he was to you, taking in your flushed face. You could easily forgive people but him, Grimmjow, he wrecked havoc on so many of your friends but... he also seemed genuine, and you didn't know if you were desperate but you were considering it. Now that he said what he said previously, you realize that you do get pushed around more than you thought.

Your eyes went to his face, hearing a slight uneasy breath escape him, his cheeks quickly fading as red faintly appeared. Maybe you weren't desperate, maybe he was meant to take you away for some reason, a reason you couldn't pinpoint. Your heart kept jolting for the male, the enemy and you didn't think you would feel for someone who's done so many bad things to you. Not specifically but to your... friends?

Were they really your friends, you didn't know because everything he said was true. Maybe you were just tolerating them since you really didn't have anyone else, though, you did have other friends that genuinely cared for you. Most of them do push you around, but then there is that one group that loves and cares for you.

That's why you didn't know if you should stay...

"Even if you're not as strong as most, I can protect you... keep you safe."

When his hands went to your body, you were surprised with how calm your mind and body seemed to be, practically inviting him to touch your figure. His hands were going to your thighs, just before slowly ghosting to your hips which brung your bodies close together. Your breath did catch in your throat, though.

He just let his hands rest on your hips though, softly sinking his claws in your flesh which finally made you tense. Still, he was looking into your face with that same expression but he wasn't mad, like it was his normal expression. You were practically being pulled to his chest only a few inches away, fortunately.

"So what, you gonna stay wimme or not woman?”

You bit your lip, letting your mind go into a frenzy of scrambled thoughts, trying its best to find the correct words for you to speak. You wanted to see your friends but you also didn't want to get hurt, considering how he confirmed that he'd force you if you don't. Maybe he'd even hurt your friends back home and you honestly didn't want that. You had your answer, the one you didn't think you'd pick, in the beginning...

"I'll... I'll stay with you... Grimmjow."

As you said his name, your eyes averted to his face that turned calm, a wicked grin spreading across his face before he latched his lips onto yours. It was so surprising that you barely took in a breath but easily melted into his lips that were somewhat rough, though, it drummed your heart. It wasn't a minute after until he let his long tongue slip into your mouth, letting his thicker muscle dance and caress your own that barely had any control.

Your hands instinctively went to the big set of shoulders before you, digging your nails in the flesh as your eyes shut to succumb into the kiss of Grimmjow. He was growling into the kiss, flushing his body with yours to maneuver his hands to your ass, grasping handfuls of it that made you flinch and push at his chest.

Almost instantly, Grimmjow released your soft cheeks to stare into your eyes, like he genuinely was concerned for your timid form.

"What's the problem?"

The way he acted was how he already was so it didn't really bother you, but you didn't want this to escalate far more than it should. It was obvious as to what he was trying to do and you didn't want to act on this so quickly, considering you've only just agreed to staying with him.

You didn't even get the chance to properly introduce each other, yet he was so determined to strip you and himself from your restraints. He was already half naked since he used his clothes to patch you up, earlier, thus leaving only his pants and footwear upon his body.

Your body was getting hotter from his touch, however, which he could physically feel underneath his fingertips. You were grateful that he was giving you a chance to speak to him, as it didn't seem like that's something he'd do in the beginning, just from his attitude you've previously observed.

"I'm just... this is moving too fast, for me. If you want me to stay with you, you can't just rush me to do this with you. We've only just properly met each other..."

A glare was shot at you, a growl submerging from him but his grip on your hips tightened, keeping your body still. He obviously didn't want to harm you, though, and you felt a sincere sense of warmth seek throughout your blood, flowing to your brain that was mushy from his feather touch.

"Your body says otherwise, baby. After all, I've been straining myself the entire time from just being near you. I can't really contain my want for you anymore..."

You couldn't lie, when his hands touched your body, a wave of heat ran through your body, sending shivers through you, pleasurable ones.

"It'll be a low thing to force you to have sex with me, so I'll let you decide. But, your scent is... intoxicating..."

His voice sounded strained, almost painful as he spoke those words to you. It's like he's literally been dying to do something with you, but you were still confused on what you really wanted and what you wanted to do. Besides, you've only partake in these kind of acts a few times, three to be exact, and you never got to finish...

Just because the guys you did it with only did it for their pleasure, as they didn't honestly want to stay with you. It hurts you to think about it, so you can't really make up your mind if you even want this or not. He seemed extremely desperate, though, and if that was the case being the person you are, you wanted to help him.

You couldn't even get a word out, before he snarled out something... extremely vulgar.

"I've been wanting to fuck you full of my cum, for a very long time, ____. Being in a rut without someone to fuck, is so fucking annoying..."

He looked so defeated and fed up with it, you just can't help but wonder how long he's been in a rut. But still, that wasn't as important as your decision for him, if you wanted to do this or not. It was an understatement to say that you weren't somewhat turned on from just his touch, and that kiss added fuel to the flames.

Your mind was telling you how much you wanted this and so was your body, but your heart had a trust barrier that he didn't break through yet, still not believing him all that much. You wanted to because he seemed so sincere, so you had to bite your lip to brace yourself for your answer. Looking at him and placing a hand on his arm, he looked up at you which caused a gasp to escape you, suddenly.

"Well, if it'll help you then... we can do it."

In the blink of an eye, you were pinned underneath the bigger male, his lips latched onto yours as deep groans escaped him. Your eyes were wide, feeling as he grounded his hips with yours and began humping into your soft body, unintentional whimpers and moans escaping you.

His hands were gripping tightly around your wrists, holding you completely still against his warm body. Your eyes instinctively shut, melting into the warmth of his body, feeling your heat spasming around nothing. His lips on yours was taking your breath away, literally.

You didn't even realize you were panting into the air, until you heard a chuckle rumble from the male on top of you. Your eyes opened, seeing a smug smirk on his face as he stared down at your flushed crimson face. You could feel his heartbeat on your heat, the pulsing being violent that twitched tingles into your body.

He loved the way you squirmed underneath his body, you hardly realized his hands weren't on your wrists anymore. His voice grabbed your attention, though, your heart pounding from his words.

"Show me your neck, baby. I wanna mark you as mine."

You saw how sharp his teeth were already, so your body tensed just a bit and he saw this. His hands went to your plush hips, squeezing them in his hands to sooth your nerves. You gulped just before tilting your head to the side, exposing your neck that made Grimmjow lick his lips.

It wasn't even a minute after, until he latched his mouth onto your neck, really close to the lob of your ear and you nearly screamed once his teeth dug in. He was like a vampire, feeling a trickle of blood escaping from the punctured holes that were bubbling from your neck. His hands went back to your wrist to keep you still.

You bit your lip to conceal your shrieks, feeling his tongue working on the blood that was streaming from the mark he made. He seemed to be enjoying your taste quite well, for a minute you'd think he was actually a vampire. Though, his lips created suction around the mark, pulling at the flesh and the wound electrifying more than pain.

It was a pleasurable pain that made you broken-ly moan, your body shuddering and writhing underneath him, and it made Grimmjow smirk as you shifted your heat agaisnt the tent in the front of his pants. That movement electrified his hips back into motion, pressing himself harder agaisnt you as you felt his covered length slip between your folds.

A gasp escaped you, feeling how heavy and twitchy it felt, obviously he wasn't a small man. The thought nerved you, gasping and mewling due to the liquid you could feel streaming down your leg. Your own fluids escaping you and Grimmjow could feel it too.

Once he was sure he imprinted his mark into your neck, he pulled off of you with a popping wet sound, a string of saliva breaking off as he pulled away. You shivered when a breeze of air tickled the freshly made mark, Grimmjow grinning at your current state, flushed and trembling.

It wasn't long until he started tugging at his pants, your eyes widening in panick that he all to well seen. He didn't care, though, continuing to work on his confines that was tightened extremely around his length. He's never been this hard before, feeling like his cock would explode as soon as he grazed you with it.

"Wait, Grimmjow?"

"What now, woman? You wanna stop?"

In all honesty, you didn't, but you haven't done this in a while so you thought a little preparation would be necessary.

"It's just that, well... I haven't done this in a while, so can you prep me first?"

A growl emitted from his throat but he could understand, although he couldn't contain himself any longer. He just wanted to claim your body as his and that alone still brought tension in your veins, slightly shaking at the thought. You were confused when his hands went to your hips, lifting you up to suddenly be on your hands and knees.

He was behind you which made an sound akin to a herd of buffalo stomping in your ear. You could feel the heat radiating off of his body, sending a warm chill to electrify throughout your veins. He was pressed up agaisnt you and hard too, you could feel the pulse of your cunt beating agaisnt his length that felt extremely thick.

"Just relax, baby. This'll feel good for the both of us and," He layed his chest agaisnt your back, placing his hands beside yours while his hips were now flushed with yours, "I know you haven't felt that delicious orgasm you've been craving, in years. But, I can bring you to that point.”

Your face heated from his words and it took you a moment to realize he was completely naked, and you could hear the smirk from his words. A shiver ran through you from his hot breath that fanned over the side of your face, his lips grazing your neck and back before he sat himself up. You tried so hard to look forward but you turned your head, trying to see what your body was in for.

You caught a glimpse of it, being so stiff and practically pouring thick substances of pre-cum. You didn't know but it looked like he was so hard that all the blood in the organ turned his length purple, enticing a harsh gulp in your throat. You nearly shrieked as his claws shredded your clothes, now being bare to his eyes, even your underwear tasting the same fate.

Your body tried balling up, since you were completely exposed to the handsome blue haired male, behind you. You thought he would stop here, until you felt his hands roaming your body, quiet praising coming from him.

"Damnit, so fucking sexy... so damn soft..!"

Instantly, your eyes beaded with tears that stung the corners, just because you've always wanted to hear those words from someone. At least something like that. His nails were digging into your skin, slightly letting them drag across to feel you shivering and tingling underneath him. A smack to your ass made you shudder, jolting forward from the sting behind it.

He grinned to himself, loving how your cheeks jiggled with every little movement he made you do. He wasn't one for preparing but he wanted you to feel good too, not only that, but he wanted to make you cum. He wanted your orgasm to be intense and that's what he's intending, as he knows he can give you that intense high you so desperately and obviously wanted.

"I'm more bigger than these average little shits, so you may wanna prepare yourself~"

"Grimm-"

Your words were short once you felt his tip sliding in, feeling quite thicker and bigger than it looked, when you saw it. Your chest fell to the ground, feeling Grimmjow lay his chest agaisnt your back, carefully thrusting his hips to get you to open up to him. You didn't know it, but Grimmjow was struggling to keep his composure, his eyes tightened shut and his teeth gritting the more he slid in.

"Shit..!"

His hands were now on yours, balling up and squeezing your smaller hands in his. You let out a hoarse cry of slight pain, feeling how wide you were being stretched from his thick length. Grimmjow was literally moaning agaisnt your neck, trying his best to latch onto you but failing as your walls struggled to let him in.

You were far tighter than he'd think you'd be but it was a bonus, tensing up his body as he tried to push himself into you. He couldn't though, your walls squeezing extremely tight around only the tip and some inches, his right hand going to your hip to pull you back on him. He didn't expect this extreme tightness, his eyes nearly tearing up from how good this felt.

"____! You needa... you gotta relax, damn..!"

You were trying your best to relax, pressing your arms on the ground and laying your head on top of both of them. That was kind of a mistake, now you could see him entering your body, being way bigger than he seemed to be a moment ago. This sight only made you tighten around him, vulgar moans escaping the both of you.

He rested his chin on the nape of your neck, placing both hands firmly on your hips before he naturally began prying your insides open. Instant near screams escaped you, and rumbling moans secreted pass his gritted teeth. You didn't know if it was from pain or pleasure, your noises only seeming to encourage the male to sink more wildly into you.

His pace was slow, but the thickness of his length made it all the more pleasurable feeling those pulsing veins dragging agaisnt your velvet walls. You tried suppressing your moans but his hips began snapping harshly into yours, now that he was fully inside of you, feeling how his balls lightly tapped your already drooling clit.

You wanted to scream, when his arms wrapped around your waist, quickly guiding his big fingers to your sweet neglected pussy, rubbing harsh circles into it. The obscene sound of his hips slamming agaisnt yours made your walls clench around his cock, almost trapping him inside of your overly wet insides. You couldn't believe the warmth trailing down your cheeks, hearing the deep growls and groans of the male fucking into you.

His arms were extremely tight around your body, making sure he pulled you back to meet his thrusts, feeling the full force of his cock that collided with your spongy sensitive spot. You couldn't help the lewd screams escaping you, feeling that bubbling heat boiling in your abdomen, ready to burst as he seemed to repeatedly began bashing into that spot.

Even with his cock hitting every pleasurable spot inside your soft walls, he still managed to find a spot that spilled tears from your eyelids, feeling his warm breath fanning the side of your face. He was moaning directly into your ear, his chest rubbing agaisnt your back which both were sweaty from the intense session.

Grimmjow, however, took note of your tightened insides, angling his hips to fuck you in an upward motion, making sure his cock kissed that spot each time. He didn't know he would but when he heard you let out a howling moan, you could feel your cervix give way to him, Grimmjow gritting his teeth as it clamped down on the head of his cock.

His blue locks were sticking to his forehead, layed out from this situation, though he didn't even know someone could give him this much pleasure. He could feel fluids escaping his slit, massive amount of pre-cum accidentally slipping out and into you which felt so good to him. You didn't notice it but he was still making you feel good, too good in fact as you felt that hot coil in your stomach wind way too tight.

It didn't want to break which annoyed you, causing you to move your hips back against his, meeting his thrusts that nearly broke you. He could feel how much tighter you were now, gradually picking up pace and force that knocked the wind out of your lungs. You didn't even realize his fingers weren't on your clit anymore, but you felt the pressure of his body removed from yours.

His voice snapped you back into reality, listening to his broken moans as he tried to speak through the pleasure and the loud clapping sound made between the both of you.

"Cum for me..! Cum for me, ____! Fucking cover me with your sweet juices..!"

His hands were on your hips, harshly pulling you back on his cock before your body took note of what was happening, almost instantly feeling that high you desperately wanted arising. His eyes were trained on where he was entering your soft body, loving how he could see your juices sloshing out and around his cock, dripping onto the ground beneath you.

"Scream out my name, woman! Let these fuckers know I'm claiming this pussy... ngh!"

Not even a second after, you screamed exactly what he demanded you say, feeling that delicious orgasm electrify your nerves, frying your brain nearly from how intense this was.

"GRIMMJOW!"

He smiled devilishly at this but that smile instantly went away from how much tighter you became, feeling his own orgasm approaching and quickly. He could tell you couldn't really take this, seeing as your body desperately tried retreating from his massive cock and thrusting hips. That made him wrap his arms around your body again, holding you tightly to his warm chest that rubbed agaisnt your back.

You wanted to scream feeling him hitting even deeper inside you, your pussy fluttering and quivering around his thick length. From the uneven breaths that came from Grimmjow, you could tell that he was extremely close. He was slowly dragging his cock in and out of you, in return, you could feel the twitching and throbbing of his cock.

"Fuuuck..! I'm gonna fucking cum in you, baby..! I want you to take it all for me, don't spill a drop..!"

"I can't... can't take it..! Anymore, Grimmjow..!"

Another knot formed in your abdomen from his methodical thrusts, slowly yet deeply pushing into you, clearly lost to his own pleasure. You felt a cool substance on your shoulder, Grimmjow drooling as he nearly became delirious from the orgasm that broke over him. The force behind his orgasm hit a bundle of nerves inside of you, causing your overly stimulated pussy to gush all over him again.

This orgasm was more intense than the first one and he could honestly say that his was more intense than any past fling he's ever had. You're not a fling, however, Grimmjow wanting to keep you more than anything. As his seed seeped throughout your body, he continued to slowly piston his hips in a circular motion that stirred your insides. You could only twitch, your body spasming with every movement.

You barely registered his tongue slowly stroking your neck, placing kisses agaisnt it before he plunged himself deeply inside you, staying stationary to make sure all of his fluids got into your body. Both yours and his juices were streaming down your leg, leaving you relaxed but concerned for one thing. You couldn't say it though, soft sobs escaping you that shot a gasp from Grimmjow before he stopped licking your neck.

Sitting up but still buried to the hilt inside of you, the little movement causing you to moan softly, feeling him pushing his cock inside of you to stay there. A growl came from him, before he once again placed his hands on the sides of your head and his abdomen agaisnt your ass.

"What's wrong?"

"This is it..?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're gonna leave me, after this... it's okay, I'm used to it..."

He could hear the pain in your voice, a snarl escaping him and a gasp of shock slipping past your lips, as he wrapped his arms back around your body to hold you close to him. You could feel the rapid beating of his heart agaisnt your back, listening to his words that seemed... real, for the first time.

"Fuck that, I'm staying with you and you're staying with me. You're mine, you're not going anywhere I've already told you this. Whatever those assholes did to you doesn't matter, you're only gonna be with me, no matter what."

Your heart jolted, listening to him. This was right, this choice was right there's no doubt in your mind, anymore. He seems to genuinely care for you, feeling his lips kiss your neck again before he slowly pulled himself from your abused core. You felt a pleasurable chill run through your body, suddenly being on your back with your legs hitched up around his hips.

He was looking down at you, smirking as he took in your confused expression. Entrap-ping your body with his hands, Grimmjow inched his face closer to yours as he enclosed on your lips. Both your eyes closed in a sweet and gentle kiss, him pulling away to look into your eyes. You could honestly say that you believe him, and your heart is expanding for him far faster than you'd thought.

"We're not done yet, baby. I want you to look in my eyes, while I pound into this tight pussy of yours. You may wanna save your voice, we'll be here for a while."

You tried denying him since your body was overly sensitive, but a harsh thrust of his hips cut you off, already feeling his cock bashing into your cervix. Your eyes sealed shut, but his was staring down at your lovely face, bottling up the cute expressions you made. He knew you didn't know but he honestly loved you, and he was determined to keep you safe.

He wouldn't let those 'friends' of yours come in tact with you, ever again, though he wasn't going to keep you locked away. He had a plan for everything, though, he wouldn't allow anyone to be near you as they used to be. He doesn't trust anyone with you, wanting to keep you by him forever.

Truth be told, he'd possibly quit all of his evilness just to keep you safe. Yes, you were mismatched, but you were meant to be.

[sakuraryomen01]

Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Fem! Reader/ .11 [Slight Nsfw]

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, ec project with Nickolas the transfer student, drunk sukuna shows up at the dorm(!?), a small makeout session, some sexual touching and mentions of grinding/humping at readers thighs, caring for this stressed out man-slut, ooc sukuna.

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 5.036k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20

a/n: hey guys! sorry for the delay ^^ i've been wanting to get some chapters drafted before posting them! ty sm for the patience i hope u enjoy and r ready for the upcoming drama between sukuna and y/n!

a/n 2: so so sooooo sorry for being three days later after saying i'd be posting right away!!>< I was with family and the wifi was being iffy the last few days. I couldn't access many of my socials and much less work on the final draft of the chapter!! i powered thro until i was satified and it's finally here! i hope you enjoy!!

chapter/idea cred to: @misslauravillanueva i needed to give credit for the help! i was struggling on what to do!><

. . .

Thank you for reading this! Enjoy!

“Achoo!”

“Ah, are you alright?” Geto’s cool tone echoed from the kitchen, his brow raised with a curious expression written on his face. “Coming down with something? I told you to relax from studying for a while–”

“It’s not that!” You huff, cheeks burning with embarrassment. ”I just sneezed. I don’t know why though..”

“Okay, relax. I’m not gonna get upset.”

With a pout, you leaned against the armrest of the couch. Bowl of mac and cheese with little hot dogs in hand and a Coke on the coffee table. Eyes returning back to the TV screen and watching the current crime show playing, listening to the crimes that the murderer committed as he was handed a death sentence. 

Sometimes, when I let my mind wander to Sukuna.. It feels like that.

The idea that he’s now stuck on your mind despite all the anger he had towards you. The almost strange obsession and addiction to the idea of him. While you’ve been repetitively trying to control these new emotions and thoughts, you couldn’t help it. Seeing Sukuna that day in Ec class all those days ago. Having to tutor him. Even dealing with his weird smirks and teasing.

..That kiss too..

“Your face is doing that thing again, Y/n,” Geto’s voice chirped out of nowhere, causing you to jolt in your spot. “So jumpy over a guy? You know therapy exists, right?”

Returning a rather poorly chosen burn, Geto stood from his spot on the couch and waved a hand at you. Grabbing his things and his shoes from the carpet near the door, he sent you another telling look.

“If you're this upset, just ask what's up. Seriously, seeing you get stressed over this is kinda.. sad.”

There was a stabbing pain in your chest. You knew.

“Good night to you too, Suguru,” You hum, leaning on your fist as the door closed with a click. Leaving you alone in the dormitory for a few moments.

Your thoughts clouding your headspace until you decided to go to bed. Unable to understand this dreadful lil thing people called love, unable to understand why Sukuna Ryomen had crawled his way into your heart just by being an ass.

Tomorrow is another day.. Right?

. . .

“Today we'll be picking partners for class projects!”

Eh?? Ehhhhh????

You blinked a few times at the announcement, looking down towards Toji as students began to groan and complain a little. Quickly these were silenced as Toji lifted a stack of papers and chuckled deeply in his husky voice.

“It's not my problem, just get them done. You have two weeks to do it, so get your partners. The class is uneven so be ready for one of y'all's groups to have an extra person. It's a self-pick topic type of thing so start discussing today or tomorrow your topic and go with it!”

Toji tapped the papers on his desk and sat, letting his tie loose as he started relaxing for the rest of the period.

“If you need suggestions for your topic, there's a list in here along with your presentation requirements. I expect all names and correct citations with these as well.”

You let out a small groan and rub your temple. Not only were you stressed, now you had to deal with this? Extra shifts at work couldn't save you from this type of annoyance. It's not that you hated group projects, it's just a small tick when half of them throw the work onto you.

Pros and cons. Pros– none. Cons– work was usually tossed onto you.

You stood from your desk and began making your way down the steps to grab a paper. A strange chill ran up your spine as you passed Sukuna’s. Sparing a glance over, your cheeks warmed almost immediately.

Some bits of hair were pinned back and a pen rested on an ear. His shirt had a few buttons undone with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Black pants tight enough to have made a bakery spawn on the seat he sat upon. He looked really handsome, daring to battle even Toji’s good looks, and it was getting to you. 

What hit the nail in the coffin is when he just so happened to catch you ogling with your tongue practically hanging out of your mouth. His eyes sharpened at your expression as a smirk curled at the corners of his lips.

An almost playful yet teasing smile you weren't used to seeing on his face caught you off guard. It made your face hot, and your shame grow a few beats in that moment.

“Stop creeping” was basically what his face was saying.

Letting out a strained cough, you covered your face and made your way back up to your desk. Positive that his eyes had followed you all the way up the stairs before you sat in your spot. Hiding behind the paper and some random book you grabbed from your bag.

You couldn't be more obvious, could you?

While fellow students started to shift in their seats and partner up with friends and just random buddies from in the room, Sukuna was swarmed with a small audience of girls as he stood from his seat to also fetch a paper. The guys that sat around him gave him annoyed side-eyes and snorts as he absorbed the attention from all the women in the room. 

“Sukuna, do you wanna partner with me?” One asked, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose and letting the blush on her cheeks show.

“Me too, we could all do it together!” Another spoke up, poking her button nose into their conversation. Her bright green eyes staring up at Sukuna with a needy gleam.

It makes you confused to an extent, making you press your brows together as you look to the side. Sukuna probably thought that's what you looked like every time you saw him. It makes your heart ache and head throb, another grand headache to your already upsetting day.

Just let your mind be normal for once in your life.

You begin to gather your things and part from the room, the hustle and bustle of the classroom quietly fading into the background. Letting out a relaxed sigh as the sight of your bed creeped into the corners of your mind– oh, how you wished to be relaxing in bed with your favorite stuffy.

“Hello, miss? Would you like to be my partner for the project?” A voice suddenly called from behind you, somewhat echoing throughout the quiet hallways. It startled you since you didn’t expect anyone to follow you out of the classroom asking such a thing, it piqued your interest.

Lifting your head, you come face to face with someone you didn’t know.

His dark hair was up in a bun with his undercut showing behind his pierced ears, a kind smile flashing behind yet another piercing on his lip. Tanned skin that seemed to glow like it was pampered with the best beauty products around, not a scar or pimple in sight. Cute dimples at the corners of his lips adding to his boyish charm while his honey eyes gleamed at you. It reminded you of Yuji in a sense, but this was not Yuji.

You’ve never seen this guy before– a really cute one at that.

“Hello,” you say, momentarily stunned at the stranger, letting your hand weakly wave. “Uhm, partner?”

There was an adorable chuckle that furthered your stunned silence before you heard a response. “Yes, I saw you walk out here alone and thought you might need one.”

You take in a deep breath, regaining your composure quickly and patting yourself down. “Ah, right. I actually don’t like having a partner, my past experiences have led me to conclude that they’re not the best option for a project. Besides, I’m a big girl, I can handle one on my own.”

“I can see why,” He starts, looking back at the classroom with the still clamoring students before returning his attention to you. “That horde in there was after one guy, they don’t care about this project. I was actually about to do the same as you when I saw my choices were so low.”

Rubbing a big calloused hand over his nape, the strangers’ almond eyes looked from the empty halls and to you, his smile sheepish. “Please? Don’t make me beg now.”

There was a small silence between you and the stranger as you considered walking off and letting him go with his original plan before the Economics class erupted with whines as Sukuna and a girl walked from inside. The color left your cheeks, seeing the girl’s arm wrapped tightly around Sukuna’s. Looking as if he was protecting her from the growing crowd of the class, engaging in an active conversation as they walked on by.

Your heart sank sharply, seeing Sukuna letting someone else into his circle. He used to be so cold, so annoyed with people when he was younger. Only letting you really hold him that close, giving you nuzzles of appreciation since he didn’t like to say it aloud.

Now, he gives you the cold shoulder and holds others that aren’t you close.

Without letting your head finish its last thought and your eyes still trained on the back of Sukuna’s head, you gave a nod and looked back at the stranger. “Sure. I’m Y/n L/n, by the way.”

“Really? That’s great!” He smiled, the warmth of his company lightening your mood sufficiently more than it was a few moments ago. “My name’s Nickolas Alveres, it’s nice to meet you, L/n.”

The both of you share a smile for a second before Nickolas nods down the hall, motioning for the both of you to head to your next classes. He doesn’t wait for you to join him, but you do anyway. Trying to make small talk with him as you try to get to know your partner, letting the smile on your lips stick.

While you wore a smile, someone else had a frown. A deep scowl, if you will. You didn’t feel it, but Sukuna’s partner saw it.

She raised a brow, cheeks tinted a slight color as she cast her gaze in the same direction. Seeing you close to another man, only escalating the befuddlement.

“What’s wrong, Sukuna?”

A disgruntled look was plastered all over said man’s face, his frown so prominent it was a waste of time to even attempt to hide it. A chasm of wrinkles forming on his forehead as his brows pressed together at the sight before him. Watching the way you and some kid walked side by side with a smile on your face, not a care in the world.

When did you get so chummy?

“It’s nothing.. Let’s go, Haru,” He said, not sparing a second to look back at you. With a huff, he pulled his work partner, Haru, with him to the nearby library to find a good subject for this project.

It’s what he wanted anyways.. right?

. . .

“Wait, wait.. He punched Gojo in the face?!” Nickolas laughed, holding his cup up to his lips quickly to cover his giggles and chuckles. His nose crinkled up as they continued despite his obvious resistance. “He must’ve been drunk too to get so defensive!! I thought he was just a jerk most of the time.”

“Usually he is,” You start, crossing your legs under the coffee table. Looking over some of the notebooks the both of you had sprawled out onto the wood to look for any good topics to talk about in the presentation. Quickly, you scribbled out one, taking a sip from your cup and looking back up to Nickolas. “Recently though, he’s been alright. Not as mean as he used to be, but not one-hundred percent rude and annoying.”

A calm silence filled the air as Nickolas rested his work in his lap, taking a moment to look from them to you. “Speaking of, how long have you known this guy? You talk about him like he’s an old friend.”

The corner of your lips twitch upwards for a short second before you let your face relax. “He was. Not really interested in joining forces again recently.”

Nickolas nodded his head in understanding, eyes glazing over somewhat on what response to give. Seeing that the idea of this guy somehow hurt you, it got him concerned. Why bother letting him get to you so deeply if this is the result? It doesn’t make sense.

“Don’t let it get to you too much, Y/n,” He mustered after a short silence, placing his cup on the coffee table and letting his ring tap against the plastic. “If he’s still letting you be this close, even helping you care for a friend, that’s gotta be something.”

You nod numbly, knowing the obvious has been said too many times. Talk to him, ask him how he’s doing about the relationship, what does he want from you? The same three things that you always wanted to say when you were with him, but how. Other than tutoring, other than being near each other in class, you and Sukuna spent little to no time together.

All you remember about him is that he was the tough kid in school with home problems that liked to play tag and hide and seek. That he scared you with bugs and frogs while at the lake or near the Willow tree. The fond memories you shared with him couldn’t be the only factor that you had to use to judge what you wanted, you had to be around him more.

How was going to be the hardest puzzle to solve.

“Oh well,” Nickolas yawned, stretching his arms over his head. “It’s about time i get headed to my dorm. I have an early class tomorrow. I’ll leave you my number so that we can plan meetings for the project!”

Jokes and laughter filled the room as you and your partner exchanged information when there was a loud commotion at the door. You glanced from Nickolas to the dorm door and let out a light hearted chuckle, waving your hands next to your head.

“Ah, I’ll go get that! Gather your things, okay?”

Nickolas nodded and turned to his open binder and mess of notebook paper splayed on the coffee table, humming to himself as you rushed over to the front door. Hair stood at attention when you opened that door, seeing a messed up man laying on the hallway floor. A big wine bottle squeezed tightly in his right hand, the other placed next to his head on the floor.

His voice came out in gentle hums of some random rock song, lyrics jumping out from his mouth every second or so in a drunken daze. His fluffy hair was messy and almost unrecognizable until you realized who it was.

It was Sukuna.

“Wh.. What are you doing here?” You shout, shocked at his arrival, but there was not really a response. Only his hand raising to wave his finger around to the hum of his song. “Sukuna, answer me!!”

“..rather be.. Than lonely..”

Letting out a sigh, you look back at Nickolas and see his confused face staring at the gap between you and the door down at Sukuna. He stood there ready to go with his bag strap on his shoulder and keys in hand, giving you quick glances for some semblance of an answer. You give a small shrug, looking back to the immobile man on the ground.

Gently, you kick at one of his legs to try and get something out of him. “Sukuna, get up!”

Not a single thing, just a grunt and a tussle before your eyes finally connect with glazed ones. Maroon pools that were foggy beyond belief, not having a thought behind them. Nickolas tilts his head to the side and shakes it, giving you a pat on the arm and a sheepish smile.

“I'll get out of your hair, Y/n. Good luck!”

You step out of the man’s way, looking down at the disgruntled Sukuna and give a weak chuckle. Parting ways with Nickolas for the evening and kneeling down to Sukuna and shaking his shoulder. “Sukuna, you’ll get sick, get up.”

“..Doesn’t matter,” Sukuna mumbled, closing his eyes and taking a sip of his drink. “F’m sick, I’ll just be sick..”

“It does matter, now get up.”

You did your best to pull Sukuna up by his arm and into a sitting position, hooking the limp appendage over your shoulder and lifting him up onto his feet. It was a struggle since Sukuna was so heavy, but you managed. The stench of alcohol reeked from his breath and shirt, mixes of dirt and some stains that you didn’t feel the need to ask where they came from. 

Stumbling into your dormitory you freed the near empty beer bottle from Sukuna’s grasp and pulled the door close. He wasn’t giving much fight– probably due to the amount he drank– and just leaned his weight onto you. Mumbling to himself about things you weren’t going to pressure him into answering. Still, it made you wonder.

What the hell drove him to come to my place?

Surely, he wouldn’t mind answering that.

With a huff to your lips you plopped Sukuna’s heavy ass onto the couch and folded your arms. The beer bottle in your hand swirling around as you rotate your wrist ever so slightly, brow raising at Sukuna’s nearly asleep form. It was odd to see the big, strong and mean Sukuna Ryomen on his last leg from intoxication. 

Despite this, you found it cute.

“I’ll go get you some water and maybe a change of clothes,” You announce, tilting your head to see if that gauges a reaction. Sadly there was nothing but a huff and some finger taps on the couch’s cushions. Letting your arms fall to your side, you grunt and place the beer on the table. “Whatever, I’ll be right back.”

You grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and some extra sheets from your bedroom before making your way back into the living room to Sukuna. A fresh set of clothing was provided, thanks to Geto’s many late night bang sessions with Shoko, and some cooling pads were placed next to Sukuna on the couch. He didn’t do much but glance at the items, turning his face away in– what you assumed– was a quiet protest.

Sukuna never acted this petty and spoiled before. What’s gotten into him?

“Let’s get you changed, yeah?” Gently, you press your hands to his chest, earning a reaffirming nod and proceeding to undo the buttons of his collared shirt. 

It was strange to be in this position. On your knees, undressing the man you’ve pinned for for so long, only to be seeing this messy and unkempt side you didn’t like to imagine him being. The feelings in your chest that you wanted to put away were making your heart race once more, every glance you got to see from the mess you called Sukuna.

His hair made him resemble his brother more than anything else now, hanging over his sweaty forehead and tattoo. Arms hanging loosely at his sides, man spreading for all of the world to see. Shamefully, you enjoyed the calm attention. Even though it was unsightly, you liked getting to touch all over Sukuna’s body.

“There,” You mumble to yourself, having officially released Sukuna from his shirt. “N-Now, onto your..”

Trailing off, you look down at Sukuna’s pants. Swallowing thickly at the idea of pulling off his trousers, you took a deep breath. I’m never going to live this shame down!

Gently, you began to undo his belt. You face burning ever more as the air began to tense, wishing that anyone but you would be this bashful over something so silly. Still, regret hit you harder than the embarrassment or shame ever could.

Sukuna was watching you. Watching your hands slip the belt loose, pulling his button undone and pulling at his waistband. You tugged, unable to yank them down and free his lower half.

“Sukuna.. Can you lift your hips?” You ask in a soft voice, startled by the quick response. But what was it really, he was watching your every move. You felt like you were being examined in some office and not helping Sukuna undress. “Thank you.”

“Mm.”

Making haste of the situation, you pulled down the fabric of his trousers and grabbed the loose shorts you had found from earlier. Ignoring all thoughts of Sukuna and how perfect his legs looked, the thick black bands of his tattoos on the fat of his thigh. The way the bulge in his briefs was much a cause for distraction, even denying that it twitched once freed from it’s confines.

Yep, never happened.

“There, all better,” You sigh, satisfied. “Now that your ready for bed, I’m going to do the same.”

It took a few minutes, but you had completely reclothed Sukuna and he now looked more sleepy and ready for bed rather than drunk off his ass and about to black out on the couch. You had struggled to even get him to take a sip of water and sober up, but to no avail. You figured you’d have to try again tomorrow morning and explain the situation once he woke up in a confused fit.

Getting him comfortable on the couch too was another ordeal you didn’t think you’d go through, but you did. Tucking in the large male until he was all cozy and warm, safely resting his head on one of your spare pillows.

“I’ll see ya in the morning, Ryo,” You mumble, letting your mind wander for a moment and tracing the outline of one of his tattoos on his bicep. Feeling the muscle twitch under your touch momentarily.

“Mgh,” Sukuna muffled out, cheeks warm to the touch.

Letting out another sigh, you stand from your spot next to the couch. Only to be pulled back towards the culprit at hand, falling ass first next to his lap. Sukuna didn’t make a sound, just grasped onto your hips and pulled you in for a hug. His arms anchored around your lower stomach, pressing into the arch of your spine and forcing you to press against him as well.

His nose was pressed into the crook of your shoulder, but you continued to crusade for answers from the sudden affection. “AGH! Sukuna, that was highly uncalled for!! What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Answer me, dammit–!!”

“Who was that guy?”

You flinch, caught off guard. The clarity and conviction in Sukuna’s voice was strange, seeing as he had been stumbling and leaning into you for the last few moments. “Uhm, my Economics partner Nickolas. It shouldn’t matter, you need to sleep!”

“I don’t need sleep,” Sukuna grunts out, lifting himself off of the couch and trapping you underneath him. Using his big arms like a cage, eyes locking you in place with a vice on your heart. “What was he doin’ hanging here?”

“Sukuna, this is childish,” You start, ready to defend yourself for a confrontation. “He’s my class partner, you shouldn’t be upset over it.”

Wait.. why was he upset?

Previously, he had never seemed to give a flying fuck what you did or whom you did it with. What’s with the sudden change of heart? It made yours ache at the possibilities, wondering what could it be that made him so hostile all of the sudden over Nickolas.

“I barely know him anyways..”

“And you let him sit here on this couch?”

There was a small slap sound as skin met skin, Sukuna’s palm and fingers grasping your chin and cheeks. A gentle but firm squeeze sent shivers down your spine, your hand reaching up to try and pull Sukuna’s off but to no avail. His eyes scanned your face for anything, a sign.

Something. Anything that would make this ache in his chest stop.

“What is he to you, huh?” His voice came out rough, deep. Intimidating. 

It was scary, but a shudder was sent up your spine. A lustful and unneeded shudder, one that sent ideas to your brain. That made your mind wander, but you held them back. 

Even as Sukuna’s lips captured yours, as his teeth grazed and nibbled at your lower lip, your hands reached up to tangle themselves in his pink locks. You had to deny, because the Sukuna that was here wasn’t really him. It was a drunk and dissociated version of him, a side that you normally didn’t see. 

A side that he probably didn’t like showing.

“Did you let him do this, mh?” Sukuna muttered, pulling away from your mouth. A string of saliva connecting the both of you for a moment as your lungs fought for breath. Chest rising and falling heavily, your hands hold onto Sukuna’s arms, trying to find something to stabilize yourself in this mess of kisses.

“N-No, we just.. Talked about class–”

“Talked? About class? Me? You?”

Sukuna retreated his touch from your face and instead placed them on your thighs. Laying beside you on the couch, keeping you trapped against his chest and making sure to dress the blankets over you.

“Sukuna, seriously, this isn’t funny anymore,” You whimper, covering your face. How could you push this away? You’ve wanted nothing but to be closer to him, haven’t you?

Desired, pleaded. You wanted everything.. But this wasn’t the way.

Feeling Sukuna’s hands wrap around your waist, having his hot breath on your neck and shoulder as he rutted his hips against the fat of your ass. You felt utterly guilty, like trash. Wanting to crawl away from Sukuna and save him the little grace he had, to avoid giving him something to wake up and regret tomorrow.

“Y/n.. look at me.. Look at what you’ve done,” The man in question ordered, hooking your top leg over his elbow. Letting the bulge in his pants grow more and more, his voice becoming ragged and deep as he got harder and harder. “You’re making a mess of me, can’t you tell?”

You nod, wanting to pull away and sleep in your bed. But the desires in you only wanted you to fall deeper. The strings of your heart being plucked as Sukuna’s lips found the sensitive skin of your neck. Marking and sucking, lewd sucking sounds erupting from his lips as he made harsh hickeys form on the skin.

Mewl after moan escaped you, your pussy wet and slick under the confines of your panties and pajama bottoms. Sukuna could tell, releasing your leg from his hold and slowing his hips for a moment until his hand migrated to your front.

Grinding the flat surface of his palm against your clothed cunt, whispering naughty words into your ear that you had to drown out. Even if the wants in your belly wished for Sukuna to be there, to fill up your insides and make a mess. To be closer than he’s ever let you been for the last month or so, you had to stop this.

And you did, with much regret.

“Sukuna, stop,” You whimper, pulling Sukuna’s hand away from your body. Breaths coming out in baited huffs, you sat up. Not taking a moment to let yourself get lured back in, feeling Sukuna’s hand find your waist again as you resisted further.

“Stop what?” He mutters, annoyance in his voice. Laced with an emotion you wished to unhear. “Didn’t you want this too?”

“Not like this.” Cold, respectful. You had to be this way, to give Sukuna another chance. Letting him have his way now in such a drunken state, you wouldn’t be able to recover a good relationship. “If I was like anyone else, you’d be taken advantage of.”

Sukuna’s touch softened, his glazed eyes clearing for a moment as he looked at the back of your head. Seeing a shimmer of something on your cheek, his fingers trembled. He desired to reach up, to brush those tears away. It was against his very nature, his very being.

He didn’t like the idea of being all cuddly and cozy, being soft and vulnerable with someone. The idea of it made his stomach churn and made the urge to vomit impending. 

But, with you. Seeing those tears form, for his sake. He felt irritated with himself. He caused it. Him.

“I’m going to bed now,” You say, voice shaken up. “Get some water, sleep.”

You stood from your place on the sofa and walked over to the small hallway, entering your bedroom and letting out a shuddering exhale. A weight was now firmly sitting on your chest. It ached, it hurt, it burned.

Everything that pain felt like was exploding in your chest. Reaching up a hand to try and comfort yourself wasn’t worth the effort either as you slid down the wood of your bedroom door. Curling into a feeble position as the tears fell from your eyes, finally free after holding them the whole time.

What you wished you could do about the man on your couch.

. . .

a/n: y'all i literally have a crippling addiction to crime videos and all that shit it's just so interesting for no reason oml (crying inside) also sorry for the month long pause (i say sorry too much) i was creating new characters and working on ideas for the next few chapters!

Chapter Song Them: — Granite - Sleep Token (Lyrics)

taglist: @mageyboo, @mzladyd , @mysticwonderlandangel, @sukunaspersonalfleshlight, @kawaiipenguin20, @k-indie, @okkotsufav, @cafeinthemoon93, @pulchritxde, @bontenbunny, @deepinballs, @kleebloomed, @fiierytearzx, @wo-ming-bai, @instantgalaxysheep, @watyousayin, @z3r0art, @sukunaobsessed, @lik0, @sukunasfirstlove, @princesstiti14, @nemoyr, @ladywolf44005, @cat-mak20, @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn, @hxlalokidottir, @domainofmarie, @the-moongoddess, @dark-n-dirty-duchess, @agentdedf1sh, @sukunastoy, @lyn-soso, @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9, @heyitstacy, @lost-in-tokyo, @marksassybanana, @bozos-r-us , @p-3-4-c-h, @chaoticqueen33, @dxxny-loves-u, @l0tus-in-l0ve , @jiordeci, @opossum0-0, @gumisgirl, @mommasbigd, @heyitstacy, @misslauravillanueva, @fallenlostarchives, @infinitivesearch

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[kanmom51]

Like Crazy - new insights

*This is a reposting of my latest reblog due to issues with that specific post.

***This has been sitting in my drafts since April 2023!!!

This is the post I reblogged and the basis to my own post.

Yep. I had some of a post written way back in April 2023, but the pieces just didn't come all together for me.

After Muse's release and specifically after the BTB yesterday where JM discussed Who, Muse and the lyrics, we also saw the change made to Who's lyrics from "you" to "she" things started to clear up for me. But then, a friend also shared a picture of the original lyrics of Like Crazy, which were subsequently altered before recording. We discussed these changes and I now feel that this is it! This is the missing piece to my post.

I mostly left what I wrote over a year ago in tact, adding the missing pieces to this puzzle that makes this post with what I feel is a little more insight into Like crazy.

Needless to say, these are my opinions, how I see the lyrics, the ones that made the cut and the ones that stayed in JM's lyrics journal.

So, let's get started:

Here I was thinking I'm the only one who was seeing this...

I do hope I'm reading this right, before going off motormouth about something that maybe isn't what is being said, but to hell with it, this is something I've been thinking too and I'm just gonna come out and say it.

We're all over 18 here right?

This is a subject we can talk about?

The more I listen to this song, the more I think it to be true too.

First of all, before starting off, I want to link this ask:

**Shock and awe... "she" wasn't part of the original lyrics for Like Crazy . Colour me surprised to learn the same is true with Who (even though JM didn't actually write the song himself). Oh, and if we are on that subject already, how not surprising to see the process of writing the song with John Billion, who happens to be one of the writers of SNTY as well (me sitting here thinking of several words and references that could have been somehow suggested and inserted into the song. No idea who (nah, I'm telling lies, I know exactly who). How shocking (NOT) to see that the artist actually had input with the song lyrics of which he is not credited in writing.

Again, the depth of the song, the layers to the song and the multiple interpretations too.

JM told us this song is about him struggling. He told us he was going through a period where he was drinking too much. He was finding fulfillment in ways other than performing, as performing is part of him, he is a performer, someone who needs the stage to express himself. The stage is where he is at peace, the stage being a piece of him that he was missing.

We saw his outburst of emotions in the first day of MOTS ON:E (that was my first experience of BTS and he literally broke my heart - and later seeing him being mocked for it infuriated me).

This was October 2020, around 6 months into the pandemic. The uncertainty. This is their first online performance and from there until Muster another 9 months go by. We know from Festa 2022 that the pandemic screwed up all of their plans. The uncertainty, working on and releasing BE and then Butter and PTD everything leading up to the PTD online concert, a year after MOTS ON:E. For those that performing is their life, standing in front of an audience and giving it their all, it's a hard pill to swallow. The unknown, if they will ever get back to perform on stage in front of a live audience, when this is who they are, their essence, it can be unbearable. JM wasn't the only performer to go through this. It's just that he shared this with us. He showed us his pain and vulnerability and was mocked for it by many. Shame on them!!!

So, again, JM told us with Like Crazy, that he was filling in that hole. Alcohol was mentioned by him specifically. But listening to the song, I think it's quite clear that sex was a very big part of it as well. Looking for that rush, that high. It's clear as day, for me anyway, in the lyrics.

(I think we could last forever I'm afraid that everything will disappear Just trust me)

[Verse 1] She's saying Baby, don't think about it There's not a bad thing here tonight Baby, you can leave it Stay with me until today

[Verse 2] Watch me go Wet me all night (Away) And morning too Don't come if you're drunk

In this loud music It fades me It's a drama-like story I'm get used to it Have you come far to find me that you used to know? Yeah, I know You know, I know (Ooh)

[Chorus] I'd rather be Lost in the lights Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind It holds to the end of this night Every night You spin me up high The moon that embraces you Let me have a taste

[Post-Chorus] Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') It's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever you and I

[Interlude] Mmm-hmm Yeah, hey Mmm-hmm Ooh-woah Mmm-hmm Mmm-hmm (Forever, you and I)

[Verse 3] Me reflects in the mirror I'm going crazy without hesitation I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time

I'd rather be Lost in the lights Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind It holds to the end of this night Every night You spin me up high The moon that embraces you Let me have a taste

[Post-Chorus] Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') It's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever you and I

[Outro] This will break me This is gonna break me (Break me) No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)

Those are the lyrics he recorded.

But you see, there were changes made to the lyrics he was working on originally, and we got to see some of them.

This specifically:

Reading this draft and the final ones there are a few things that just fall into place for me (and I'd think for anyone that reads them), loud and clear:

First of all, obviously JM is singing about drinking too much alcohol. If the final lyrics hinted to losing himself in alcohol, the draft lyrics are ever so clear regarding that point.

Second of all, the sex. I think JM was pretty straight forward using the wording he was using. "Give me a good ride" can be other things, if you twist it around to try and explain it away, but bottom line, those lines within the context of the lines in the draft, like "just go turn off the light, you and me..." not to mention the whole chorus, to me the reference is obvious.

Next, I talked about the many references to JK in this song in this post:

This is all also relevant when it comes to my next point being the fact that to me it's clear that JM wrote this song referencing a special someone with whom he shares a high level of intimacy. A special someone that was there by his side when JM was struggling. A special someone that was struggling seeing JM going through everything he was.

To that person JM wrote (in the draft): "oh baby don't you cry, just wanna see your smile..."

These lines, they were too much. Too obvious. Too intimate. And they were left out probably because of just that.

So JM went with other lines. A little less obvious perhaps, and yet still very telling. The finale of the song:

No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)

Now, you could claim that the song is about an inner struggle. JM struggling with himself, talking to himself, and yes, that could very much be part of the message JM, the king of layering, is going for. But see, that's exactly the point. JM is the king of layering, of having several meanings and messages within his lyrics and creations. And this is not different. There is no mistaking the reference to another person, not JM himself, in the lyrics. The way he uses the "you" in the lyrics, at times could pass as you being the alcohol, at times the you being himself in the mirror, but at times it's clearly a third party he is talking to. Especially in that finale to the song, that someone that wants to lift him out of that stupor he is in, to wake him up, to save him, when he is unwilling, not ready to accept that help just yet (same person he asks not to cry, knowing that he is making them sad). There are also the clear JK references in this song. The "you are me I am you" being the loudest of them all.

But JM being JM, he showed us in his own way what this song was about, opening up and allowing us to see his drafts.

And then he gave us Letter. Hidden, and private and intimate. Addressed not to us, but to that person that was always there by his side, that person he addresses in Like Crazy telling him "forever you and I". Now, in Letter, being in a better, healthier place, he can repeat the sentiment of them together forever. A sentiment JK had mentioned in the past (omg, that was so very awkward).

And now using lines like : "I sincerely hope we are forever" and "But don’t forget that we’re always together"...

The lyrics, the sentiments, the drafted lyrics that never made it, like the use of "Dangshin", I have talked about it all. Letter was for JK. Period.

When seeing Like Crazy again, the lyrics, the struggle, the person by his side, the intimacy, and Letter, I'm kind of thinking that not only is Letter a love ode to JK. That is stating the obvious. But it's also JM's acknowledgement and thank you to that person that stood by his side in his most difficult of times.

JK.

Bottom line:

Like crazy is about JM struggling and self medicating with alcohol and sex.

It's personal about himself, his struggles, but also includes a person that is there by his side, one he is highly intimate with, one who is there with him together. That person is there, spending the nights with him, in that escape world JM created for himself. Sad seeing JM struggle, trying to find a way to help JM out of that pit but being unable to do so, staying by JM's side all the same.

We know who that person is.

Same person he addresses Letter to.

[maddiedott]

It Will Come Back

Pairing: Logan Howlett x GN! Reader

Warnings: Very rushed ending, Logan through various different movies/timelines, gn! reader, fluff and tad bit of angst, sexual implications but not explicit, alcohol consumption (let me know if i missed anything)

Hi! Hope everyone is having a great day! I've been struggling with some Wolverine hyperfixation and Deadpool Wolverine being released on Disney+ like 2 days ago didn't help much. So, I decided I would finally post this fic thats been in my drafts for like a month now? It's heavily inspired by Hozier's 'It Will Come Back', so please enjoy!

Time was always a fickle thing for someone who could never age, who had lived centuries and watch as it affected everyone you loved and yet hasn’t graced you with the same courtesy, a long stretch that dipped into the horizon and melted against the inevitable void. There were times when you yearned for the ice cold grip of death, the blissful eternal sleep that most try to run away from, to prevent. But that was before you had met him, before he whispered life back into your hollow bones.

It was a fleeting encounter, words exchanged in a fraction of a second. You couldn’t recall how long this cat and mouse game played out, but you eagerly waited for the next moment you would see him, even if just for a glimpse. It started out slow, the long pull and stretch of time that came with his absence.

The first time you had met was in 1932, a time where many longed for the cold, dark Earth to envelop them so they wouldn’t have to suffer much longer. The interaction was brief, a swift knock to the shoulder as you passed down the street. He grumbled an apology, his voice rough and with an accent that didn’t quite stick in your head enough to name. There was a hesitation in his step as his gaze met yours, more of intrigue than anything else. He stopped completely as you called out, brows furrowed in annoyance. He turned towards you, apology leaving his lips. He introduced himself as James Howlett. An odd last name. You gave your name in kind with a smile.

He looked exhausted, although there wasn’t anyone in This Depression that wasn’t. So, despite your better judgment, you offered him a place to stay and some lukewarm meals to hold him over until he could find work. You never were much of a cook, even now you struggle to prepare much of anything, but it’s not without lack of trying.The rundown country home had been your home for a little before the dust bowl and the drought begun since you had moved into it, trying to busy your lonely mind with farm work. You had set the loft in the barn on your sparse and dusty property for him, giving him plenty of blankets and cloth that would make for a functional and maybe comfortable bed. He mentioned a brother who you had seen only briefly every now and again entering the barn before leaving a few minutes later, always snarling. And even though your instinct was shouting at you to question it, you never did.

There was always an objection to the kindness you showed him when you would bring meals, to leave him to the land as that’s all he knew- how he sleeps, to not be kind. But each time he only came back. It was routine until you found a small note etched in charcoal with the words ‘I come back’. And just like that he had vanished as if he had never existed, disappearing and leaving a strange ache in your chest.

You couldn’t tell when the next time we met was as the years turned to decades. People like you had gained a name; ‘mutants’ and they were becoming more and more common around the world. As narcissistic as it sounded, you thought you had been the only one, cursed to roam the Earth for eternity while watching everyone grow old and die around you. You hadn’t expected to run into him, not after 3 decades, and you surely did not expect for him to look just as the day that you last saw him, nor to recognize you.

You sat beside him on the barstool, not speaking until a whisper of your name fell from his lips as if he had figured out the answer to all of the prayers he’d whispered in the dead of the night to an unseen God.. A smile graced your face before you could stop it, turning in the seat to give him your undivided attention.

“You shouldn’t smile at me like that, you know better.” He gruffly spoke.

You didn’t realize how easy it would be to miss someone’s voice until you heard his. It was as if his words were a melody and you had been searching for the right tune all your life. Just the sound of his voice had been enough to cure you of any ailments for the day. You continued to show him the kindness he so desperately wanted to refuse. To offer him a hand and a soul, one that he feels less deserving of. This time was shorter than the last.

A few drinks, some chatting, walking, and a stumbling mess of feverish, open-mouthed kisses as we reached your apartment and found your way to the couch, the floor, and then the bed. He had ruined you, that much you knew from the very first press of his lips against yours, from the whisper of your name in the bar just a few blocks away, or perhaps it was the very first time his shoulder hit yours.

Towards the end of your euphoric highs, you had noticed the extension of bones from between his knuckles as they dug into your mattress and utterly destroying it. It led to a pensive conversation that eased as you revealed your own curse, your lack of morality. He showed off his claws, explaining his own hyper senses and regenerative properties. You admired the bone that extended from the divots between his knuckles, fingers ghosting over the claws. The night morphed into day as you both recounted stories, although you could tell his were vague and lacking details, keeping them for the darker parts of his mind away from the light.

You hadn’t realized him to be an army man before that night, but sure enough he was being shipped out that next day. So the reunion was cut painfully short and you had to wish him farewell from the comfort of your apartment’s sheets, tangled and damp with cold sweat from the previous night.

It was the middle of winter the next time. You moved from place to place as to not raise suspicion on why one of the neighbors never aged, stuck in a younger body than that hasn’t changed in the last few years of where you stayed. You could never forget James, he was always a lingering thought, a distant wish to run into him once again. As the seasons transitioned from to another, that wish slowly fizzled out.

It burned brighter one particular night, when there was a strange howling outside your door. There had been wolves hanging around, but they sounded nothing like this. So, with little fear to your well being, you opened the door.

He looked different, scruffier and wild. There was a metal contraption on his head that wired down to two boxes on either side of hips. The machinery and mechanism was complex as if he were some part of someone’s cruel experiment. There was a snarl sound emanating from his throat, sitting on his haunches. But his state of undress in the dead of winter was not what caught your eye but the sharp metallic ‘shik’ as metal drew from the divots where bone once did. A sharp gasp left your lips as he slowly stood to his full height, eyes locked and unwavering. He sniffed the air like an animal before taking a step forward, his instincts fueling his muddled mind, the movement subconscious.

He had found his way back, but at what cost? What had this poor man endured to become this way? This feral?

As he took a step forward you mirrored in a step backwards, crossing the threshold of your home and he simply followed. His wild eyes darted from corner to corner, sniffing once more and then taking a deep inhale. He visibly eased up, although still had the behavior of a cornered animal. You let him into the warmth of your home, let him wander and orient himself with his surroundings despite your conscious telling you not to.

It took multiple hours of gentle coaxing and many more attempts of snapping from him until you managed to get him to sit and settle down enough to remove the headpiece and electroids from his body, having them fall to the floor with a thud onto the carpeted floor. He just stared, even a whisper of his name had his head cocked to the side like an animal in a state of confusion.

There was dried blood under his nails, hair greasy and filled with mud and- you didn’t think you wanted to know what else it contained. Bathing and feeding him was no easy feat, metal meeting flesh and red decorating the floor; but, you eventually got it done and even had him dressed in sweatpants that were a bit too tight and the cuffs raised to his mid calf. It would have been comical if he wasn’t so out of his wits.

The next few weeks were awkward, each time you tried to leave he would grab your arm and tighten his hold in an attempt to get you to stay, but you needed food and he needed clothes that actually fit him. He still didn’t speak, just low huffs and grunts. When he finally did speak, it was low and broken as if he had forgotten how.

“Lo… gan…”

The words confused you. Why was he saying a stranger’s name?

“Is he the one that did this to you?” You ask softly, swiftly sitting beside him on the couch. You received a shake of his head in return and another mutter of the man’s name.

“I don’t understand.”

He ruffled into his pocket until a small clink of metal emerged and he withdrew dog tags with the name ‘Logan Howlett’ engraved. It was his last name, but the first one made no sense. On the opposite side it read ‘The Wolverine’. Was that his army name? You had heard of getting nicknames when in service but had no real idea about it.

“You’re Logan?” You clarify, eyes moving from the metal within his palm to his own eyes, still wild but tamed for now.

You received a nod from that, signifying you were correct in your assumption. That would make sense why he had never acknowledged me when you had called him James. So, from then on you referred to him as Logan.

You try not to think about the time during which you helped bring him back to a state of humanity, finding out his memories were scattered and he held no recognition in his eyes other than finding the smell of your home, of you, familiar. You cared for him, allowed him a place to stay and took him with you until he suggested a RV bed for an old truck. With the stash of cash you had dwindling, not expecting to care for another person, you hastily agreed. From there you traveled. City to city, province to province, finding cage fighting bars for cash while trying to bring peace to Logan’s mind and retrieve the memories lost or stolen from him.

Finding Rogue was a blessing, even more so when Scott and Ororo had rescued you both. You had been given a home and a lead on Logan’s missing memory and a chance for him to be a part of a team. So, when he was given information on a location that might jog his memory and insisted he would go alone, giving you his dog tags as a promise, you held some worry of course, but knew that he will come back.

[endearng]

Home

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Summary: Emily always comes home to a nice surprise. WC: 1k Warnings: A little suggestive by the end but that's it :) A/N: This is my first time writing for Ems!!! Can you guys tell that I have a thing for 'coming home'? lol This has been sitting on my drafts for the longest time, so I figured I'd post it. Hope you guys enjoy it! :)

| masterlist

You'd gotten a call from your girlfriend, Emily Prentiss, telling you she was coming home that night. You felt instantly better, because the week had treated you very poorly, having dealt with major mistakes from people at work to having a flat tire mid-way home. Even through the phone, her cheerful tone was contagious to you, making happiness pump through your very bloodstream. You knew she worked really hard and other problems were probably one of the last things she needed to think about once she got home. So, you always went out of your way to make sure she felt welcome when she got back from her cases, so tonight it wouldn't be different.

Well, tonight would be very different. You decided you would propose to her as soon as she got home. You've spent some fair share of your time thinking about it and it made perfect sense. The two of you were together for three years now, and since you moved in together to a new apartment, which was now yours, you had no doubts that she was the love of your life. The one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Emily gave you all the safety you could possibly long for in a relationship, not to mention that she was the most loving partner ever. Her absences made you feel incomplete, but seeing her come back to you made your heart flutter every time like it was the first.

On the way back home, you got flowers — daisies, to be more specific, a personal favorite of yours and Emily's. Once you entered your apartment, you tidied up the place and cooked her favorite dish as you listened to one of your favorite albums, all the while thinking about how it'd feel to see her, to be in each other's embrace again, how would she react... You weren't nervous, of course, you knew she loved you just the same, but what if she wasn't ready to get married? What if she wasn't there yet? What if she didn't want to marry you? The thought made you shudder.

When you finished your cooking, you got ready by dressing yourself in one of her favorites looks on you, a set of pajamas that clung to your body — you felt comfortable, the cotton material against your skin felt great, but Emily's hands on you when she first saw you in that set felt heavenly.

You smiled to yourself, already anticipating her reaction.

You sat on your couch, mindlessly scrolling on your phone and answering a few texts from your friends and family, desperately trying to ignore the anxiety bubbling inside you. You were watching a puppy video when you heard the door unlock, which made you dash to the door in an instant, "Emily, my darling! You're home!" You said, throwing yourself into her arms. She grinned softly, thinking that she'd never get used to you, let alone to how you reacted everytime she got home. It was so nice being safe and feeling loved and wanted.

"I missed you, my girl," she said when you slightly pulled away from her arms. Both of her hands carressed your cheeks and traveled to the sides of your neck, thumb gently ghosting over your earlobes. Her gaze was intensely fixed on yours and you could feel the love in those beautiful, black eyes. After silently admiring you for some time, for her eyes expressed something that words failed to, she captured your lips in a kiss that told you just how much she had, indeed, missed you. Her kisses always made you feel like the luckiest woman in the world, not only because you had her attention solely on you, but also because you were the one who truly held her heart in your hands. "I'm sorry I took so long, my girl, but I'm here." Another passionate kiss. "I'm home."

"That's what matters." You mumbled, lips pressed to her cheek. She smiled.

"That," she chuckled, "and the fact that you're always waiting for me. Coming home to a house without you in it makes no sense to me anymore."

You chuckled, absolutely delighted by the effect you had on your girlfriend. Soon to be… "I have a surprise for you."

Placing her hands on your waist, she chuckled, "That's sweet, darling. But I don't think it's as nice as mine."

You laced your hands together at the back of her neck, asking while grinning stupidly, "You have a surprise for me, Em?" To which she nodded. "Okay. We can both surprise each other on the count of three."

“Okay."

Deep breaths. She loves you. Be brave. "One, two, three—Will you marry me?"

As you finished the countdown and blurted the sentence nervously, Emily was down on one knee, having let go of your waist at breakneck speed once you said the word "three" and pulling a ring box from her pocket. You gasped and Emily's mouth hung agape, like a fish out of water.

Once the surprise of the moment washed away slightly, you burst out laughing with pure bliss, soon joined by your now fiancé — if her being down on one knee and holding out a ring for you meant anything, it definitely meant that she would, in fact, marry you. You got down on your knees to hold her in your arms, relishing in the moment of sheer joy between you two. Your heart felt safe and complete and everything was because of the woman who held you in her arms and carried you so dear and near to her own heart.

"I love you." You muttered, kissing the top of her head, voice slightly muffled by her hair.

"I love you, darling. So much. I... I can't believe we're gonna get married." She said, breaking in the biggest grin you've ever seen on her face.

“I can't believe you said yes." You smiled.

"Technically, I didn't..."

"Shut up, Prentiss."

She pinched your chin, smiling devilishly. "In a few months, I'm gonna be saying that to you, too.” She quipped. “Now, come on. Let's see you out of those pajamas, hm?”

[scar-lie]

Their First Love [Natasha]

Summary : What happens when someone come back to get what's them.

Pairing : Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader, Natasha Romsnoff x Bucky Barnes

Warning : None, I guess

Word Count : 2,642

A/N : Hi everyone so sorry that I didn't post the chap 9 of Omega and the crossover oneshot, my school ends right before Christmas eve, then my Mom got admited to the hospital and well next is new year so it's kinda busy, sorry again but this oneshot is in my draft for over a month or week now so this is my sorry token for you all

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE 🥳🎉

{THEIR FIRST LOVE PT. 2}

No one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.

You sigh, getting off the elevator in the compound to visit Natasha. You two have been friends for over two years now. You two met in the coffee shop nearby your company building. She sat at your table with your permission because, at that time, the shop didn’t have any vacant seats left. Since then, you two have hit it off and become friends. After a year, you started to date, and you courted her until today.

But once you get off the elevator and pass the two doors that lead into a common room of the Avengers quarters, you frown at seeing everyone gather around and see Natasha clinging to a guy.

“What’s happening? "You question walking forward; everybody looks at you.

“Oh, Bucky, the winter soldier, Steve’s pal back in the days, and the Bucky I’ve been talking about—uhm, he's back and sided with us,” Natasha explains, giving you a hug and a kiss on your cheek.

“Hi, Y/N, nice to meet you.” You offer him a hand, but he just looks at it without emotion, so you take your hand back.

"Ok,” you mumble, and sit down on the couch and just look at them, especially Nat and Steve, who have pampered this new guy with questions and appreciation that he’s here now.

You just let them have fun and enjoy their time. You understand why, especially Steve and Nat. I mean, that’s Steve's pal or brother, and that’s Natasha’s first love, the love she found in the red room and KGB, where torture and killing grow, where she trains to be a black widow. But you’re not going to hide the fact that you’re jealous and scared that what you and Nat have will end soon.

You let it slide the first few weeks, where Natasha was constantly clinging to Bucky and having quality time, and set you aside, but when the 5th week struck, you confronted her, where she just got home from a 2-day mission with Bucky, Tony, and Sam.

She’s tired and exhausted. Their mission goes south, which comprises a lot of people's lives, and all she wanted to do was go home, get the dirt and blood off of her body, and hope the frustration and self-blame will go down the drain too with the rest of the dirt, and sleep the night off.

But that’s not what’s waiting for her; instead, you’re in her bed, sitting and looking at the wall in front of you. When Natasha enters her room, she sighs and comes to kiss your forehead, then goes off to go to the bathroom.

“Be honest with me, Natasha... Are we still dating, or will you and Bucky go back together? "You asked before she could close the door, not looking at her form, which was frozen in her spot.

Natasha frowns, slowly turning back at you with a confused look. She doesn’t know how to answer it, and she herself doesn’t know either. All she knows is that Bucky is here; she wants to spend time with him, but at the same time, she’s building a relationship with another person, which is you. She just sighs, trying to look into your eyes, but you keep your eyes straight.

“I-uhmm….I don’t know…I-” You didn’t let her finish her sentence; you already heard enough, so you stood up, took your bag on the sofa, and headed out to her front door. Natasha quickly followed you.

“Call me if you already have an answer,” you mumbled enough for her to hear, but Natasha never let you get out that easily.

"Hey, hey, hey! No, you’re not going to walk out on me; we’re going to talk this out like a mature adult.” She pulls you inside and closes the door of her room.

“Ok, I admit that I spend more time with Bucky and that I’m putting you aside, but that doesn’t mean that I will end things between us.” She started searching for your eyes to look back at her too.

“And there’s a "but" coming, right? "You look at her; you already know how this is going. Well, you should have known better.

“But I don’t know, I... I still yearn for him... I don’t know, ok, please understand,” she whispered, and you just nodded. You can’t do anything about it, though. I mean, you two don’t put a label on who you both are, so she’s still free to choose him over you.

"Ok.” That’s all you said, and you walked past her.

“That’s all you’re going to say? "You sigh again and turn around, giving her a small, tight smile.

"Yeah, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to be angry or what? I mean, we’re not together, Nat; we’re just dating. I’m your suitor, Nat, so I don’t have the right to be angry or tell you to distance yourself from your first love, so yeah, that’s all I have to say.” With that, you leave her room and go back to your house as soon as possible to sleep it off and get ready for your endless meeting tomorrow, but God has other plans because you met Bucky on the way.

“Hi…..Y/N right? "Bucky, stop you before you can leave the two doors in the lounge where he sat, with snacks in his hand and a coffee table, so you stop and turn around to look at him tiredly.

“Yeah, that’s me. Why? "You sigh when he stands up and stands in front of you, trying to intimidate you, but honestly, if you’re not tired and don’t give a fuck, you’re probably intimidating him too.

“I don’t appreciate you getting close to Natasha, so could you please distance yourself? "I scuff at him, standing straight, grasping my handbag in front of me with my two hands.

“Maybe I should be the one telling you that, because before you come along, we’re dating,” you calmly said, giving him a tight smile.

“Well, are you two together? "He challenges you, and you clench your jaw, looking up at him.

"No.” You didn’t back down, and he smirked, satisfied at your answer.

“I suggest you start moving on, because I’m courting her.” He gives you a sly look and pats your shoulder, then leaves.

You clench your jaw and give him a dirty finger, leaving the building with irritation and annoyance, and go straight home to wash away all the stress and tiredness in your body since this morning, when your day started to go south.

You didn’t bother to go to the compound for a week now because of a hectic workload, meetings here and there, and some dumbass who can’t do their jobs properly. Even though you missed Natasha and wanted her hugs and cuddles, you couldn’t visit her, so you just kept gifting Natasha food or flowers and texting her, but most of the time she ignored you, and you just rolled your eyes at that, thinking they were probably having their time together, so today you’re going to visit her.

But once you get to the compounds quarter, your mood quickly drops seeing Natasha leaning toward Bucky while watching some movies, but you put your jealousy and irritation aside and great her.

"Hey, Nat,” you say. She looks at you and quickly stands up and greets you with a hug and a kiss in the check that makes Bucky look at you dirty.

“Hi, how are you? You haven’t been here for a week now.” You give her a smile and show her the Chinese takeout you brought.

“Just busy in the office, that's all. Are you hungry? "You asked, taking her hand to drag her into the kitchen to eat.

"Sorry, but she’s full; we just got home to eat lunch.” He smirked at you, and you gave him a glare while he stood up and took Natasha off of you.

“So if you wouldn’t mind, we’re watching a movie," he says, then guides her back to the couch while Natasha just looks back at you, looking for your reassurance, but you keep neutral, which makes Natasha worried.

"Uhm, wait, Buck, actually, I’m-” Before she can get out of Bucky's grasp, you walk straight back to the kitchen, putting down the paper bag, and go back to leave the building.

“In case you..." you point to them with a tight smile.

“Get hungry or just give it to someone who wants it; I’ll be heading out now.” Then you leave with a sigh; you’re losing hope; well, he’s her first love; you can’t fight with that; that’s her greatest love; and now the only option you have is to accept it, because sooner or later, you’re expecting Natasha to talk to you and end things between you two.

And you’re not wrong, because the next time you visited, you saw them together in the gym, sparing, well, more intimately; they kissed passionately, savoring their time together, and that broke your heart completely into pieces.

And you don’t have the heart to ruin it for her, so you just give yourself a smile, nod, and turn back, going to her room to get some of your stuff you left there, and well, wait for her there to have a talk. You know she’s not going to say it to you right away, so you’ll confront her.

Once Natasha entered the room with a big smile on her face and a tint of red in her check, saying goodbye to Bucky, you didn’t look up at her; you just looked at her waist until you heard her gasp, shocked to see you sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Y/N," she mumbles, not moving a single inch in her spot until she clears her throat, having the courage to tell you something.

“Glad to see you here, cause I need to talk to you too,” she carefully said, reading your dementor, but she failed, so she just gulped the lump on her throat and just blurted out.

“I need to end things between us because I know it’s not fair to you if I keep this hidden, but... I'm getting back with Bucky.” Her heart beat faster. Looking at you, you scuffed and nodded. At least she had the courage to tell you.

Natasha quickly became tense and gasped when she saw a few bags already packed. You looked up at her with a neutral dementor, the one you always wore before you met Natasha, and this made Natasha feel uneasy.

"Well, I guess it is my cue to leave now, since you already dropped the elephant in the room.” You stand up, taking your bag, and walk past her.

“I’m sorry,” she shouts, running to you. She feels guilty and hurt, even wanting you to look back at the eyes that she’s been searching for.

“Don’t be; you don’t owe me an apology or explanation…..and so do I, when I'll make no exception to anyone, including you, and when you don't have the same privilege you had before.” This makes Natasha’s eyes go wide; she knows how you are around in your company; you’re cold, strict, and scary.

“Excuse me, Miss. Romanoff, I still have a company that needs someone to run with.” With that, you leave the building and sulk yourself to work, declining every call and knocking on the door, letting your assistant be the only one who can come and go in your office, and rescheduling all your meetings for a week.

If you will move on, Natasha is no exception. You need to distance yourself from her and treat her like everyone else around you, even though she’s still your friend.

This doesn’t settle Natasha very well; sure, she’s happy that she’s with her first love that the KGB ripped out of her, but the unsettling feeling deep in her bothers her.

Sure, she’s happy going on dates, cuddling, spending time together, and having sex with Bucky, but it still feels wrong to her. It feels wrong deep inside her, and she tries to set it aside, but the feeling keeps building and building up, like she’s going to explode one day.

"Hey, are you ok? "Bucky asked her with concern. He just got out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, while Natahsa just lay down in the bed, lost in her thoughts, and only the covers were covering her naked body while the morning sun started to rise.

"Yeah, yeah, I’m ok, just thinking.” Natasha looked at Bucky with a smile, so Bucky quickly lay beside her and buried his face in her neck.

“You’re thinking about her, do you? "Bucky whispers, looking up at her while she scuffs and shakes her head.

“What are you talking about, and who’s “her” you’re referring to? "Natasha, just look at him for a few seconds and go look somewhere else.

“You know what I’m talking about; I can feel it, Nat. You want her; you’re looking for her even though you keep saying to yourself that you’re okay." Natasha didn’t answer right away, thinking carefully.

"No, you're wrong,” Natasha just said and stood up, taking the cover with her.

“I already have what I want,” she said, trying to convince Bucky, but the truth is, she’s trying to convince herself more than Bucky.

Bucky didn’t argue with her; he knows Natasha is a stubborn one. Sure, he doesn’t know her very well now; things change, and he doesn’t want to push it.

But Natasha thought of it all day, and Bucky observed her the whole time, accepting that sooner or later Natasha would need to talk to him.

That day, Natasha went out to walk, think, and clear her head, letting her feet take her wherever they took her. That said, now she’s standing in the cafe shop where she first saw you, your memories of her flash in her mind, missing how you smiled and how soft you were to her, how you looked intimidating the first time you two met.

Then Natasha went to your favorite flower shop, where she most likely saw you before you courted her, buying different flowers every 3 times a week or maybe 4, then she visited the fast food chain you always whined to go to because you loved their onion rings and twisted fries there, then she went to your favorite burger food chain until she went around the town buying things that you always whined about.

Until she’s standing in front of your company building, frozen in her spot while looking up to the high tower where you are probably in and on one of the floors at the top, this makes her heartache, and she misses going here ever so often to visit you and spend time with you.

She sighs and decides to go in. Reasons? to give you the stuff she bought from different stores around the town, and she hopes that you will let her in or meet her.

But once she got inside, the receptionist wouldn't let her in with the reason—Ms. Y/L/N is busy and doesn’t want any visitors—she closed her eyes, cursing to herself, knowing she couldn't just walk past security or make her way around to get to you. She knows you already hate her, and doing the dirty job to get to you will fuel you more.

Natasha started to walk back, but not until someone screamed your name. That’s when she turned around and saw you, looking beautifully in your sexy business suit that shows all your assets with three bodyguards, and let the woman in your right arm. This broke Natasha, especially seeing who the woman is—it's the woman you talked about to her, your first love.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

So, in addition to a preview of the Norm one-shot, I've got this look at part one of a long-form two-shot that's been sitting in my drafts since I was about halfway through my first run of the show. I have a (now quite old) ask that fit the vibe of it perfectly, and I've been whittling away at it when the inspiration strikes. I still have quite a bit of work to do on it, including edits, as I'm predicting a final length between 13k-15k words. Could end up more, as I'm really terrible at this sort of estimation, but I wanted to let everyone know I'm still hard at work in the smut mines even if posts have been light lately. Please enjoy a preview from this upcoming Cooper Howard/The Ghoul piece:

Faim Pour Deux

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Reader

Warnings: smut (18+), angst, drug use, jealousy, mild violence, age gap, sexually rusty old men, amateurish strip teases, nipple play, fingering, dry humping, reader not-so-subtly trying to tempt Cooper to fuck her until he snaps.

"Why don't you get a little more comfortable, darlin'?" Cooper asked, his tone brighter now, a step closer to the normal, cocky timbre you'd known him to have, but still soft as the patter of the rain on the dilapidated roof as he gestured to your unzipped vault suit. "Hop up and take that off for me."

You didn't hesitate to follow his instructions, though you struggled to figure out how to back up off of his lap as your feet dangled off the floor. Cooper offered no assistance, sitting back to watch you slide yourself backwards towards his knees, your cleavage spilling out of your undershirt as you pushed yourself with your hands. Once you found your feet, cheeks already hot from your fumbling dismount, you toed out of your boots before clearing your throat, hands coming up to your navel to grab at the cool metal zipper where it hung, half-undone.

"Take a couple steps back so I can see all of you."

This command took you somewhat by surprise, but, again, you obeyed, double checking the floor behind you before taking two steps back, avoiding his eyes. Rethinking your approach, you grabbed your left sleeve by the wrist in your right hand, tugging it awkwardly to free your arm, jerking the tight material down over your sore bicep in a rather unsexy move before twisting to repeat the move on the right.

Twilight was quickly turning to night, and the few chem lamps you'd set up only provided enough light to see well a few feet in front of you. Shyly, you stole a quick glance his way, struggling to make out any details at this distance, save for the shape and slight glint of his flask as he lifted it to his mouth and took a long draw off of it. His entire upper body was almost completely shrouded in the deepening shadows, but you could see those eyes, sunken deep into that face, glittering darkly at you, trained on you.

"Slowly, now." came that rough voice once more, slightly muffled by the back of his hand passing over what remained of his lips. "Gimme a little show."

You felt your face instantly flame up twice as hot as it had been, your already fluttering heart shifting up another gear into a full-on thunder. You had no idea what he meant—undressing itself wasn't enough of a show? Were you supposed to sing and dance while you did it? Recite US Presidents?

A handful of heartbeats passed, and you realized you were hesitating, but the ghoul in the corner didn't say anything. Your focus shifted, warily, back to removing your remaining sleeve, choosing to work it down from the shoulder instead, this time, focusing on the "slowly" until you could figure out the "show" part. After a few moments, you'd worked the top half of the grimy vault suit down to your hips, letting the arms hang loose at your sides.

If Cooper objected to the way you were going about things, he kept quiet about it, which would be uncharacteristic. He sat, still staring at you, reclined back in the chair as he reached for something else on the table beside him. The familiar sound of a shaking Jet container filled the air as you grabbed the stained, barely-mended tank by the hem, peeling it over you head, leaving you in nothing but your now sad, ratty bra above the waist. The hiss of the canister buzzed down your spine as the material passed over your eyes, giving you goosebumps as you looked to him once more, feeling drawn to that gaze. Your hands moved back to your waist to push the garment the rest of the way down, brushing across your soft abdomen on the way.

The ghoul interrupted you, wordless, his mouth fixed in a sort of pucker as he held the hit of Jet deep in his lungs. He snapped quickly, sharply, his free hand raising up off of the scuffed chair arm, his sewn-on index finger pointed to the ceiling, drawing a series of tight, quick circles with it. You'd seen that gesture before, you realized, feeling that squirming feeling in your gut again. Quickly, you turned to face the door, your back now pointing at your companion.

The feeling of his intense stare still burned into your back, but knowing that, at least for a moment, he couldn't see your face, couldn't read every single thought and emotion off of your like he seemed to so often be able to, let you breathe slightly easier. The arousal that simmered between your thighs was rolling into a boil as you pushed your rear out, back towards him, bending forward ever-so-slightly at the waist as you slowly, slowly rolled the increasingly restricting suit down over your buttocks.

You could swear you heard him sigh in the dark.

Shimmying until the entire garment hit the floor, pooling around your ankles in a faint cloud of dust, you stepped out of it as delicately as possible, sliding it beside your bag with your foot. As you straightened back to your full height, you decided to turn and face him, making eye contact as he took another hit from the inhaler, setting it aside as he leaned back fully into the chair. He tilted his head sideways at you, studying you for a few quiet seconds.

"Let your hair down." he said, voice strained with exhalation.

It took a moment to wrestle your hair down from the old elastic that kept it out of your face, but when the tendrils tickled down your back at last, it made you shiver, your body tingling.

The old man was silent for several seconds, looking you up and down with an expression that was tough to decipher. You'd almost begun to worry that he didn't like what he was seeing before one of his hands snaked down from the arm rest into his lap, palming at his crotch visibly. The other hand extended towards you, that deadly trigger finger crooking towards you commandingly, his gaze never leaving you.

"C'mere, kiddo."

[4dkellysworld]

Real talk: When I gave up

Okay real talk here. This journey isn't always easy, especially at the start when you've just learned everything and you're identifying with an ego. Near the beginning of my journey, I came to understand a lot of the teachings intellectually and even instinctively. There was only one thing left. To realize Self. And I would keep trying with all these practices but felt like nothing was "happening" (even though intellectually I already knew there was nothing to achieve since we are already Self!). It was frustrating (but of course! I was still looking at all this from the identification of the ego).

Then one day I was sick of trying, sick of feeling desperate, sick of being on this goddamn mental pilgrimage, that I decided to give up on trying altogether. I already AM Self. From that day on, I decided I would always identify as Self and never again as the ego. And that's when things started naturally unfolding without me even doing anything and I gained more understanding experientially. Probably an unpopular take (for realized gurus lol) but I also threw away self-inquiry as a practice because I found it to be the least helpful for me personally and why do I need to ask "Who am I" when I already know I Am?

Abandon all imaginings and know yourself as you are - Nisargadatta Maharaj

I stopped seeking. I stopped trying. I stopped asking questions (including self-inquiry yay!). I stopped doing any practices to "get" or "understand" or "realize" anything. I stopped caring about understanding more of the teachings or gaining more understanding intellectually. I stopped thinking of Self-identification as some goal to reach, something that I need to progress on. I stopped waiting for anything to happen and just enjoyed being in the Now. I didn't realise at the time and only now upon reflection I realise that I gave up on all ego activities on spirituality lol. All of that is the ego looking for something to do and trying to achieve something. Only through my experience, do I now understand more deeply the things that realized masters have said. E.g. Robert Adams said something like "stop trying and seeking to be liberated and you will be because you already are". We've imagined our prisons but we are actually already liberated and always have been.

I decided (because it's true!) I already AM Self, it's not something you need to become (or understand in order to become). And because I AM, there is nothing to do but be.

edit: I found this passage a day after writing the initial draft of this post and Robert Adams said the same thing! But giving up was something I was led to by listening to Self. Truth is Truth :)

There is nothing you can think of in this Universe that can tell you what you are. It is beyond words and thoughts. You can never with your finite mind understand who you are. So do not try to do this. It works in reverse. It is when you actually stop thinking about who you are, or wanting to know who you are, and you stop analyzing, and you stop trying to figure it out, that the truth about you is revealed. Self-Realization from Silence of the Heart - Robert Adams

Two things I didn't stop doing: observing as the witness consciousness and sitting in silence in the awareness of being. But both "practices" are things I as Self naturally do because it's my very nature! It's not the same as when I used to identify as the ego and did them because I was trying to achieve something. Sitting in silence & stillness is literally my favourite activity now haha. I'm not sure whether to describe witnessing my ego progressively dissolving or merging into Self because both feel correct? Ah but that doesn't matter. Another thing I stopped caring is to label things as well and just let everything be and unfold on its own - there truly is so much peace and beauty in just being Self! I'm only trying to use words to describe this to share with others in case it's helpful for their journeys but of course words are limiting and you can only understand this when you experience it yourself.

There is nothing to get, only just BE. And it is soooo freeing and wonderful once you understand this. Give up on trying to make the mind and ego understand you are Self, that is a fruitless task. Leave them be. Stop trying to make things happen and just let things be. The more you stay in silence with this understanding, the more the light of awareness shines through and the more you will experientially understand this. Allow things to be and happen on their own, including the permanent identification with Self. Have no desires, expectations or judgments and just surrender to the Now. Just keep being Self.

Only look at who you are, over and over and over until it becomes the permanent identification and replaces the ego. - 4dbarbie

Remember to listen to your own Self above all. Everything else is simply a guide to point you towards Self. You are your greatest teacher! So listen to your Self and do what feels right for you.

Your own self is your ultimate teacher, the outer teacher is merely a milestone. It is only your inner teacher that will walk with you to the goal, because he is the goal. - Nisargadatta Maharaj

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

you're gonna go far

eddie & wayne picture fic based on this post

(long post ahead, but bear with me)

4/10/1984 Eddie,  I’m starting this letter after you came home with the letter from the school saying you’re not graduating this year.  I could tell you didn’t believe me when I told you it’ll be alright, that it’ll all work out in the end. That it did for me when I had the same talk with my pa.. but you eventually stepped back from the edge, I think, you’re in your room now. There was something else there too, which is really why I'm writing this now. You have the same look in your eye that I saw in my own reflection long before I got drafted, the look I saw in your dad’s when Lizzie told us she was pregnant.  You’re already planning your escape.  And I won’t hold it against you when you do kick rocks, I just pray you give me a little warning so I can say goodbye. And I ain’t a praying man. I’m tucking away some cash with this for when you go. Don’t have much, but I have you. And I wanna make sure you have the best start you possibly can.

10/11/1984 It’s been rough for you again. Working at Merrill’s has been good for you. Getting fresh air, sunshine, shit, even your gangly noodles you call arms are looking less noodley. But they just sent you home early today.. something wrong with the crop and they won’t need the extra hands this season. That, starting school again, even Ronnie leaving last week.. I know you two kids were close. You ain’t even getting all excited for halloween! Adding some more cash for you, little more than I could last time.  Just hang in there kiddo. 

6/5/1985 I think you think you don’t know, and I’m willing to let you pretend for a little while longer, but shit, Eddie, you think I wouldn’t know when graduation was supposed to be just because you weren’t the one to tell me? You know I won’t be mad at you. If you don’t say anything for another week, I will. 6/7/1985 - There it is.

7/22/1985 I was able to talk you down again that night, and you ‘re getting back to your old self again. I still can’t believe you had your whole room all packed up like that. I’ll give ya that speech all over again as many times as you need, but I’ll write it down here for you: You’re gonna go far, Eddie. You’re gonna tear outta here next year and you’re gonna knock ‘em all dead. You are so talented, you are much more than any of us Munsons have ever been or will ever be, and you’re gonna be the biggest star in the world. You mark my words. And I know you’re gonna fight leavin’ when the time comes, thinking you need to take care of me or some crap but I promise you: The birds’ll still sing, the trailer will still creak, the leaves will die and fall like they do every year, but I’ll be here whenever you need to come back. I’ll be here as long as you need. If that’s forever, so be it.

8/15/1985 I’m taking you up north this weekend. Just to get away, y’know? Before your LAST senior year starts. Might be cutting it a little close on funds, happens when you’re trying to survive, but we’re overdue for a change of scenery. We ain’t living just to die. Only a little going in this time, but I’ll be damned if I don’t add something along with a new note.

10/5/1986 Been a while since I added to this, huh? Well, it’s finally happening. You are leaving tomorrow and boy did you make a stink before you did. Went on a whole tirade about needing to get out of this damn town, about not being able to get anywhere when everyone except me is against you. I wanted to point out that you’ve got your band guys and that Harrington boy in your corner too, but I didn't think you’d like me interrupting your whole big speech about who it is you love and being queer and all that with a “Yeah. I know. You and Steve make moon-eyes at each other all the damn time.” I’ll make sure to pass on your info to him when I get it. He doesn’t seem like one to hold a grudge (or at least not hold it long), so I'm sure he’ll be the first in line to greet you the next time you find yourself in our neck of the woods. Those kids’ll miss you too y’know. They’ll be college age before you know it. I’m gonna pack up this envelope and stash it in your stuff somewhere I know you’ll find it again. so you can find it when you need it. Can’t believe I managed to save you close to a grand. Not enough by a long shot, but it’ll help ya for a while. Been saving for a years now, y’know..  Now Eddie. I told you all this last year, and just now before you slunk off to bed, but here it is again, just in case you need to hear it: - I’m proud of you. - I love you more than you’ll know. - You love whoever it is you want to love (as long as i’m on that list somewhere) - I’m glad you’re getting out of here when you can. And I’ll continue to be glad that you did even when things get hard. When I’m doing all the chores around here myself, when I go visit Al in county even though I know all we’re gonna do is fight… I’ll be so grateful you’re making your own way in the world far from here. I’m not angry at you, Teddy. But you’ll be the greatest thing I’ve lost. I’ll always be here if you need me. Wayne

some notes!

-i hc wayne as a military man ofc and bc of that, my own sloppy, all caps, post military handwriting is perfect for him!

-i like to think eddie thinks he's slick and wayne didn't know he liked boys until he was about to leave but wayne knows. of course he knows. al told him why he kicked eddie out, wayne just didn't think it was his place to bring it up before eddie did.

-didn't think too much farther after this, but let's just say that steddie happens when eddie comes back to hawkins in a couple years when the shitheads graduate.

[heartofwritiing]

Safe with you

paring: (siren) clinic!wilbur x fem!civilian!reader

summary: reader does stupid things to get siren’s attention.

author’s note: I am completely obsessed with siren. every couple months he works his way back into my brain and takes over. this is a little darker than my usual stuff so feel free to skip it, I just felt like trying to write something different for once. this is so shit. i found this in my drafts from a few months ago. i needed to post something so, throwing this at you enjoyyy 🫠

warnings: please read the warnings before reading. reckless regard for safety, suggestive content, unhealthy obsession, alcohol, stalker behavior (both reader and siren) no spoilers for the fic if you haven’t read it, if I forgot anything let me know, unedited!

You knew it was wrong, so, so wrong. He was a villain, a terrible person in every way. but the small voice in the back of your brain told you otherwise. You couldn’t deny the pang in your heart that told you the opposite. For once your heart and brain were getting along on one subject.

It was late on a Saturday night. People on the upper east side of the city were out after another exhausting week of work. Getting drunk, laid, whatever.

Only a month ago it was a night like this you met him.

Wandering home late from a company party with coworkers at a bar. It was stupid to walk home alone, especially in this city. With all the criminals running rampant, and the heroes and villains getting into public brawls that caused city-wide damage, it was a wonder why anyone still lived in L’manberg. For many people, it was home, including yours. You never imagined living anywhere else, you grew up in this city, and it was all you knew.

A man had followed you for two blocks and you only noticed when you could hear his footsteps padding behind you. You had never been so scared of what this person might do to you. Trying to lose him by turning down a busy street, then getting turned around and ending up in an alleyway. The man had cornered you against the wall of one of the buildings.

Then he was being yanked away from you roughly. Another figure had appeared, dragging the man away from you before he could do anything. Scrambling away and mumbling incoherent words, he didn’t even look back twice. He ran and disappeared around the corner.

Allowing a shaking breath to pass your lips in relief, you began to thank whoever your savorer was when you finally got a look. He was tall, he dawned a dark trench coat and fingerless gloves. You caught the eye of the dark blue bandana that covered his eyes and it clicked in your brain. After watching countless news broadcasts it became clear and unmistakable who he was.

Siren.

Part of the supervillain group known as the syndicate, he was the most feared apart from The Blade and Zephyrus. The ability to control minds made him unpredictable. Unexplainably, he didn't seem to frighten you like the man who was following you. Siren's odd behavior fascinated you to a degree that since then almost every night you've skipped taking the bus and chosen to walk home alone in the dark. Determined to find him. It was foolish despite something inside giving you a rush to see him again.

For two weeks, you waited for him to show up and help you in dangerous situations. You got into trouble two more times, but each time you saw him, you felt better because you knew he would be there for you.

Tonight was no different. You had purposely gone into the bar with a mission to find the sketchiest man you could. Luckily, you didn’t have to look very far since there were creeps everywhere in this bar already giving you stares, licking their lips like you were an object, something they could take. It made your stomach turn, but you sat down two seats away from one guy who was drinking what looked like a rum and coke.

He eyed you up and down, his gaze lingering on your legs. You internally grimaced but kept your act up of seeming like you liked this man's attention. You ordered a drink and began to sip it slowly through the straw when a presence sat beside you.

A knowing smirk pulled at your lips, the plan worked.

after a about a minute of chatting the stranger put his hand on your thigh. bold move.

“what do you say we get out of here?”

So you pay for your drink, slip out the door with the stranger, taking off down the road as he pulls you into a dimly lit alley way.

He presses you against the rough wall of the building, hot breath fanning across your neck as he leans in. It makes bile rise in your throat the reeking smell of rum lingering on his tongue. He tries to whisper something seductive in your ear, it doesn’t even come close to being sexy. His words slur and his hands wander down your body.

Before you could try to push him off, he’s being yanked away in the blink of an eye and shoved to the opposite building wall with a grunt.

A tall figure stands tall over the stranger, and your breath hitches in your throat.

“We just keep meeting like this, don’t we sweetheart?”

Siren had the man from the bar pinned up against the opposite wall with a hand wrapped around his throat. You could practically see the creep's face shade growing purple by the second, Siren's knuckles white with his grip tightening, all while giving you a sickly sweet smirk that made your knees buckle.

The man from the bar was still struggling to breathe as you and Siren had your little exchange. You had completely forgotten his existence until he made a strangled noise. Your eye shifted over to him before they moved back to Sirren again.

"Please, don't hurt him, he didn't get the chance to do anything."

Without even looking away from your gaze Siren released the man as he slumped to the floor clutching his throat, sputtering out coughs. The guy had taken off before you could even blink.

Siren inched closer to you with a swaggering step that made your breath hitch. You could make out his features faintly through the glow of the street light casting against his jaw, handsome, just as you remembered him. Taking him in as he towered over you. His hair was longer than the last time you saw him, and a scar was healing over his cheek. No doubt from the fight two nights ago with him and Dream that was broadcasted on the news. Still, he was as handsome as ever.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’ve been up to.” Siren's voice modulator makes his voice sound rough almost like he was warning you.

Your heart pounded in your ears, mainly from the adrenaline and anticipation of seeing him again, you swallowed and tried to keep your breathing steady.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you tried to play it coy, but he could probably tell if you were bullshitting.

“Don’t play dumb, you think I didn’t notice all those times I found you in a situation you couldn't get yourself out of was by accident? I know you’ve been looking for me, sweetheart.”

How would he have known?... unless.

"Have you been following me?" your voice sounding annoyed.

Siren scoffs and shakes his head in disbelief at your words.

"If you think I have time to babysit, then you clearly have no idea what really goes on in this city after dark."

"that still doesn't answer my question."

His lips were thin.

"let's just say I've kept an eye on you." he says. "weren't sure if you were hired by the heroes committee to find out information for a while, but turns out you're just a civilian with a death wish."

It seems like he was talking down to you and treating you as if you were a child. Maybe for good reason. He should turn around, and leave you in this ally like he did last time. However, there seems to be a force preventing him from moving away from standing just a few inches away from you.

“I mean what are you thinking? Don’t you know how stupid it is to get yourself into trouble like this? you could get hurt, or even worse end up dead.” his words are sharp. "There are other villains out there that would take advantage of you sweetheart, and I don't say that lightly."

He was right. You were this fucking dumb. All to get the attention of a supervillain.

“I wanted to see you again.”

You can’t see his eyes due to the fabric covering but you’re sure he’s blinking at you in surprise. His mouth parted in shock, like a fish out of water before his lips hardened into a snarl again. Never once had you noticed him falter like that. Even for a moment.

He leaned over you before he spoke.

“Forget about me. Go back to your civilian life and stop trying to find me.”

Your eyes narrow at him. Pushing away from the wall to stride towards him until you're tilting up to try and be level with him, but his tall height makes that challenging.

“Don’t you think I’ve tried? I can’t stop thinking about you. Ever since you saved me all those weeks ago. I couldn’t understand why,” you took a step closer. Siren wanted to back away, but something was keeping his feet glued to his position. “why, would a villain of all people help someone like me? maybe, I am dumb, maybe I'm insane for thinking all those times you helped me you actually cared about me in some sick twisted way."

You can feel his hard stare under the mask. He says nothing as you go on your tangent. Your breath heaving, tears streaming down your face. Maybe it was better before you knew him. At least you wouldn't feel pathetic for crying over someone who disregarded you as nothing more than a fool with misconceptions.

"I'm sorry I burdened you with my stupidity. I was delusional to ever think a person like you could ever change.”

“A person like me?” his tone was challenging.

He looms over you walking closer until your pressed back against the wall, trapped.

“You don’t understand what a person like me has to do in order to survive.” he spits.

Pushing off your toes, you grip the back of his neck and pull him into a searing kiss. You just had to know what he tasted like. Shocked, Siren didn't move. Your soft lips pressed to his, your hands threading through his hair made him lean into you. He couldn't deny how intoxicating you were.

Practically throwing yourself at him. Your hands carded through his soft curly locks, slipping under his silk bandana almost uncovering his eyes. Siren didn’t care in the moment. He kissed you back with just as much frustration and passion. His hands gripping your hips, pulling you closer as he groaned into your mouth when you parted your lips to let him in. The taste of him had you reeling and seeing stars. Everything you had yearned for since the moment he saved you all those months ago.

When he had separated himself from you, disconnecting your lips you couldn’t breathe.

When you finally open your eyes in a flash he was gone.

taglist: @trashcanduck @ax-y10 @mysticalsoot @idontreallyexistyet @loonalvjy

if anyone wants to be added or removed please let me know!!

[swannieluv]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖꩜ (Almost) free – (PLATONIC) Wriothesley x Teen!Reader

✦⸼࣪⸳𝐆𝐍!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐜: 1,5k

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆!!: Mentions of torture (?) and food poisoning.

✦⸼࣪⸳ A/N: HII! This was my first time writing a request and writing for Wriothesley, so I hope you can enjoy it!! Tumblr ate my last (three) draft before I posted, so I had to put an screenshot </3.

✦⸼࣪⸳ @wenutted

╰┈─���Wriothesley was certainly a man with a lot of work to do. As the Duke of Meropide Fortress, his duty also extended to the most "troublesome" prisoners in the place. Among them was none other than [Name], a juvenile offender bold enough to steal from authority figures in the city of Fontaine.

It was during a summer afternoon that he met them. Wriothesley was on the wait for the arrival of a criminal on reports of serial thefts of jewelry and priceless possessions. There were no witnesses or traces that could lead to the identity of this thief, so even the Marechaussee Phantom was unable to follow their tracks, coming to the conclusion that they were someone ingenious and extremely experienced at what they did.

Well, what he didn't expect was that the notorious bandit he had been waiting for was a teenager with a bad sense of humor and terrible acting.

The "menace on the loose" who was giving the Fontaine authorities such a headache was right there in front of him, caught after falling asleep in a very comfortable seat inside the Court of Fontaine. It could be said that their carelessness had handed them over to their own hunters.

When asked abouth how they had managed to flee so fast from the crime scenes and hide themselves. The only answer they gave, with a straight face, was:

“I was literally just going in and out through the front doors.”

Quite the unexpected answer.

"Your Grace?" Wriothesley was cut short from his thoughts by two fingers snapping in front of his eyes. The only person brave enough to do that, without a doubt, was them. "What are you thinking? I thought we were going to have tea together."

"Me? Well, I was remembering the first time you set foot in this place." He crossed his arms and let out a little sigh. Their sentence was running out with each passing second, and he didn't want to admit that he would miss them if they left.

"Oh, when I gave you the middle…" He quickly shushed them with a hand right in front of their face.

"Yeah, I know. You were terrible to deal with back then." He ran his fingers through their hair playfully, messing it up.

"But I'm better today," they retorted with a simple sentence that carried a deep weight behind it.

A few months had passed since the incident with the Beret Society. [Name]'s behavior had changed drastically since they had been invited to join the group. In the end, it had all been a tremendous lack of humanity on Dougie's part; recruiting the youngest prisoner in the place and putting them through the same punishment he used with adults while handling the Aqua Doloris.

Before, they were sharp in their comments and too relaxed for their own good, one of the reasons that led them to this place after all. It quite amazed Wriothesley at how they ended up avoiding being caught by the Marechaussee, when they definitely didn't even know how to hide or lie.

They played a big part in their little game against Dougie, making Wriothesley start to pay more attention and spend some extra time supervisioning them.

"If I leave, Your Grace will miss me so much that you'll want to lock me up in that cell again. But guess what? You won't,” they sarcastically declared while jumping down the stairs.

“If you fall down those stairs, you won't be able to leave here before recovering; You know that, right child?” Wriothesley could imagine them falling. It wouldn't be their first time hitting the ground hard.

But contrary to expectations, it was Wriothesley who tripped and almost fell down the stairs, holding on tightly to the banister; trying his best to act as if nothing had happened. An embarrassing silence between them.

“Pfft…”

It was all that could be heard, them laughing at him, who remained motionless in place. Maybe he really was going to miss that little pest who, until now, had given him nothing but trouble. There was only one day until they're officially a free citizen again, but even though they joked about the possibility of leaving, their final decision had not yet been made.

"You really are fearless, aren't you?" He chuckled and looked straight into their eyes. "Not everyone has the nerves to joke like that, maybe I should ask for your sentence to be increased or something..."

Click, click.

Soft footsteps approached them, a sound they were both used to hearing through Meropide.

"I brought tea."

From the top of the stairs, Sigewinne had a smile on her face, carrying a small tray with her. At the sight of it, their faces instantly paled. As Sigewinne didn't have the same senses as humans, her cooking was peculiar, to say the least.

"Did you ask her to do it?" Wriothesley whispered to the teen as he watched Sigewinne walk down to them.

"Definitely not. She must have heard we were supposed to do it today."

The two exchanged glances, as if in telepathic communication. The current plan was to escape from the tea without hurting the feelings of the melusine in front of them. So as soon as she got close enough, the lame excuses began.

"Well, Sigewinne, I'd love to enjoy this wonderful drink with you but," she said in a pained tone, a terribly fake performance, "my tummy hurts, so I'll pass this time. You can give my cup to His Grace, he loves tea after all."

They held their belly, pretending to be in pain. But as always, Sigewinne knew how to get around the situation.

"Hm? There's nothing to worry about, this tea is good for the intestinal flora."

"Wonderful news, right, [Name]?" Wriothesley nudged Sigewinne lightly. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold. "Unfortunately, I won't be able to join you two. Duty calls, child.”

Their jaw dropped. That's it, there was no way out of this. Wriothesley could only grin at them and walk away while [Name] was being forced towards their usual tea-time spot. His grin had the exact following translation: "You're doomed."

And so, [Name] had to drink the cursed beverage.

Knock, knock.

Wriothesley's head rose to look at the door. He was just finishing his paperwork, something he could do another day, but which he needed to pretend he was doing so as not to make it so obvious why he wasn't drinking the tea Sigewinne had made.

"Who's there?"

"Someone who’s going to be outside the Fortress as soon as they can," the familiar voice on the other side of the door mocked, sounding like [Name] had finally made his choice, "I don't really like the part about being a juvenile offender or something like that."

Wriothesley let out a low laugh and let them in. He was genuinely not surprised by such a decision. [Name] was a thief on the loose around Fontaine and never stayed in one place for long. Name's preference to not remain contained within the walls of Meropide Fortress was certainly not surprising.

"What made you not want to stay here?" He crossed his arms and leaned further back in his chair; it was a rather comical situation for him.

"Here is nice. I've got food, a roof over my head, people to talk to," they mimicked his action and crossed their arms, "and you're here. But I do miss my true freedom outside those thick walls."

He stared at them with a fond smile on his face. He was quite sad that he would need to say goodbye to that child. Even if selfishly, Wriothesley secretly wished they wouldn't leave Meropide yet. Maybe he did have a favorite prisoner, after all.

“Now, can I get my ‘ultra mega hyper master favorite prisoner’ title before I go?”

They looked at him with stars in their eyes. To be honest, it was quite laughable.

“We’ll see how it goes.” He placed down the papers in his hand, waiting for them to speak more. Wriothesley definitely couldn't do that, even though it would be hilarious to see the other's reaction.

He got up and walked over to them. Unlike expected, Wriothesley hugged them and patted their head. And with a big smile on his face, he could proudly say:

"Enjoy your life out of here, little prick.” He gave them a playful, painless smack on the head.

“Thank you, Your Grace; but…”

They smiled mischievously at him and pointed to the door. Through it, came Sigewinne with her snack tray.

“To show my appreciation towards Your Grace and the great time I had here, I kindly requested my little friend Sigewinne to prepare the best pastries ever.”

The snacks presented to him had a suspicious smell. Maybe Sigewinne was also voluntarily partaking in this small prank. It was hard to say because of her usual smile.

“Just for you.”

In the end, even he couldn't escape getting a taste from his own medicine.

✦⸼࣪⸳♡ BONUS:

“I thought you would be free. What happened, [Name]?”

Sigewinne put a finger over her mouth, trying to understand the reason why they would stay inside such a place when they wanted to be free.

“I got sentenced to more time for ‘murder attempt through food poisoning’.”

“Towards who?” She tilted her head in confusion, an interested look in her face.

“...”

They silently pointed towards the Duke.

“Oh.”

[writergirlll]

I'm sorry (JJ Maybank)

Outer Banks - JJ Maybank

Ok, I found this in my old drafts when I first looked at obx (I was 12, so sorry if it wasn't good enough to post)

Summary: You've been a Pogue since birth and are friends with a notorious gang. John B, Sarah Cameron, Kiara Carrera, Pope Heyward and your big best friend - JJ Maybank. You always thought that Jay would be there for you, but in certain circumstances, you messed up...and you got kidnapped...

You slowly sat up on your bed with your body constantly throbbing and breathing deeply. Or weird, you had a panic attack after everything you went through. You tried to find the gold and when you finally found it and were happy, someone took it from you and you looked for some key instead. But with that unknown key that the Heyward family is supposed to have, comes danger..Carla Limbery and her henchman Renfield.

You found the key, but she tried to take it from you. And several times. And it was never a nice meeting...

The longer you breathed, the more your vision blurred and your head shook. Every time you had a panic attack, there was someone there to calm you down. Who brought you back, but no one was here now. And so one thing occurred to you..

With the last of your strength, you pulled your phone out of your back pocket and dialed JJ's number.

It rang for a while and you prayed he would pick it up. After a while it rustled and JJ's voice came out.

“Y/n” he asked almost as if you had woken him up. It's not surprising when it's around ten in the evening and everyone is already in bed after an exhausted day.

“Hi Jay” you said trying your best to sound okay.

"There are many hours. Is something wrong?" he asked with concern and you could hear him sitting up.

,,Not..only. I was wondering if you would like to come? Have a beer and chat for a while"? you said because you didn't want to worry him about having an attack.

"Well..it doesn't really suit me now..how about tomorrow?" he asked and you closed your eyes tightly.

"Oh..yes, of course. Sorry for bothering you. Good night…” you whispered and hung up. You hoped he would come but he didn't..and now you don't know what to do.

"Okay, just breathe" you said to yourself and tried taking deep breaths once more. But unfortunately it didn't work and you fell from your place on the edge of the bed to the floor.

You rolled there for a while until you heard footsteps in your empty house. You lost your parents when you were little and you hoped so badly that it was JJ after all..

But you must have been wrong, because instead of a handsome blond boy, Renfield came to your room. The Nasty Guy by Carla Limbery.

You quickly got up with the help of the bed and since you had nothing to defend yourself with, you grabbed a pillow. "Oh, but let's see who we have here. And you're alone right now. What a coincidence” he smiled evilly and walked right over to you. Before you could move or do anything, he was immediately at your side and something sharp stabbed you in the neck.

You slowly reached for the place where it stung, but before you could reach it, you fell to the ground.. until you felt nothing at all. You couldn't move, couldn't speak, and your eyes were slowly closing. Until they closed completely..

NEXT DAY |JJ POV|

"Come on guys, we need to come up with a plan to keep the key safe" I said climbing up to the porch of y/n's house with the gang. We agreed to meet here to discuss our plans and options.

"Y/n, we're here!" Kie called, knocking on the cottage she lived in. It wasn't a very nice house, but definitely nicer than mine.

When she didn't answer or opened the door, Kiara tried pounding on the door again. But again no response..

“Ok something is definitely wrong here” I whispered to myself because y/n always answered or answered immediately. Absolutely immediately.

"Y/n!" Pope yelled to Sarah and started looking in the porch windows. "Let's go in, okay?" John B yelled and slowly started to open the door with me at his back. But at that moment, I knew something was DEFINITELY wrong.

All the things she had in the house were scattered everywhere, things thrown from the shelves, an open refrigerator, a trash bin dug up.. "Someone was here" John said and started looking around.

“Y/n? Y/n?" I called when I couldn't find her anywhere. She wasn't in her room, the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room, nowhere at all. I slowly began to panic. Where can she be?

"Guys, I found something!" Kie shouted from behind the kitchen and we ran to her. "There is a piece of paper" she showed us the piece of paper she was holding and read aloud what was written on it.

Hello everyone. I'm glad you're reading this because at least I know Renfield did his job well.. As you may have noticed, something essential is missing from the house..And you won't get her back until you give us what's ours. The key. Otherwise, I wish you a nice rest of the day. - C. Limbery

"This bitch!" I shouted and snatched the piece of paper from Kie's hand. I tore it to pieces, took the cap off my head and grabbed my hair.

"JJ calm down. We'll go get her" John reached for my shoulder, but I shook him off. "She called me last night. I knew something was wrong, that she was probably having a panic attack, but I couldn't come. Someone broke my motorcycle engine, but if I had gotten off the fucking bike and driven here, it wouldn't have happened"!

"Shall we give them the key?" Sarah asked cautiously, looking primarily at Pope, to whom it was an inheritance. "What do you think if we give it to them? Of course it does! They have y/n and god knows what they are capable of” I hissed at Sarah putting my cap back on.

"Jay, he's right this time. If we don't give it to them, we don't know what they will do to her" Kiara said in my defense and looked at everyone.

"But Carla Limbery lives in Charleston, and Twinkey is broken from the last trip. We have no chance of getting there today" said John B, in which he was right. On the last trip, we set up Twinkey properly.

"I have an idea. My parents have a car" Kiara said walking out of the house. “They're not killing you for this?” Pope asked, walking right next to Kiara. "There is nothing left to lose. And to save y/n I will. Wait on the north bridge ok"? she asked and we all nodded and made our way to the bridge.

---

After a few minutes of waiting for Kie to bring the car, she finally arrived, we got in and drove full speed to Charleston.

"Are we really going to give them the key? Don't we have a better plan?" Pope asked, still nervous about handing over the key to someone who would use it.

"Nope. We have no other chance. I don't want to do it either, but this time we have no choice. This time really no"..said John B and he was right. Every time, and I mean after every time, we had a choice. But now? Either y/n's life or Pope's legacy.

Before long we reached Charleston and Carl Limbery's house. Or rather a villa. She really wasn't feeling well..

"Jay calm down. We are here to give them the key. She'll be fine" Kie smiled at me and squeezed my shoulder. I returned the smile, albeit a strange one, and we slowly got out of the car.

We reached the gate and the bell rang. It wasn't long before Renfield stood before us. "I really didn't expect you here..Why are you even here? Are you seriously sure you're in the right place?" he asked us stupidly and I wanted to wipe that stupid smile off víš face.

“Where is y/n?” I asked straight away and his gaze shifted to me. "Aww, so you're taking care of her..that you weren't there yesterday huh?" he laughed. I couldn't take it anymore and ran out on him. I would have punched him so hard he'd forget who he was, but John and Sarah stopped me..

"We have the key. We just want y/n” Pope said pulling the key out of his pocket. "Well, that changes the whole thing...come on. You are welcome" he said, opening the door and motioning for us to go inside. As I walked past him, I stomped on his foot and spat on his shoe.

We headed straight inside the house to the living room, where Carla Limbery welcomed us. In the corner of the room was y/n. But not fully healthy and glowing energy as always. But tied up, covered in bruises and blood..

"We have a key," Pope said again, showing it to Carla.

"Oh, great," she said, yanking it from his hand. She took a good look at it to see if we were cheating on her again and when she found out that we weren't, she motioned for us to go towards y/n.

I rushed to her, removed the tape from her mouth and untied her hands. As soon as I did, y/n burst into tears uncontrollably. But as much as I haven't seen her in a long time. Not even during a panic attack.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to give her the key because of me" she whispered and I cupped her face in mine hand. I stroked her back and wiped away a few tears while stroking the horrible bruises on her face.

"You don't have to apologize at all. That's me. I should have known something was wrong with you last night and if I had been there nothing would have happened to you..” I whispered for a change and she looked at me.

She completely stopped crying and took my hand, which I was caressing on her face, in mine, while squeezing it tightly. "Don't apologize, I told you I was fine. You're not to blame" she smiled slightly at me and I returned the smile.

"Well...that doesn't change anything. I'm still sorry" I smiled at her even more, he helped her up and she and the others hugged, while we were still holding hands..

[starfishthestarfish]

𝕴'𝖑𝖑 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖕 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖋𝖊𝖊𝖑 𝖇𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗, 𝖔𝖐?

Sub!Felix(Skz) x Dom!Male

Word count: 517

Warnings: NSFW (minors dni), pwp, pet(kitten)- owner relationship, rough sex, crying, hair-pulling, fingering, aquaphilia, overstimulation, waterboarding? (I don't think so cause there's no non-con but I wanna warn correctly TT) breath play, torture, established relationship, idk if i forgot smth, ok bye. but did i forget something?

Second kinktober post! Why isn't tumblr saving drafts correctly? :,D

This smut belongs to one of my unpublished book, edited to fit Felix.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

Kinktober 2024 - Week 2: Aquaphilia/Torture

"He couldn't help to let out a high-pitched moan underwater, forgetting completely how to hold his breath and even breath when his release hit him. It felt just as good as choking; but maybe even riskier. His whole body felt on fire, struggling every now and then in fear to breath."

"F-fuck..." Felix mewled, back arching and gripping tighter on the edges of the tub, knees open on the bathroom floor with his ass sticking out while two of his owner's fingers quickly moved in and out of him. What his owner planned and Felix thought was a warm bath quickly turned into a mess when his owner undressed him in the bathroom; he didn't take long to touch him. The tub was full to the brim though, even when no one was inside.

Yet, Felix's hair was dripping wet due to previous disobedience. It sent pleasant shivers down his spine when he arched his neck, hot water dripping on his back and sliding over his asscheeks and between his legs, mixing with the cum from past orgasms used as improvised lube.

"A-ah," Felix whined, moving forward to get rid of some stimulation when he felt his release approaching again. It didn't work, since his owner's fingers moved forward with him and pressed deeper inside, curling up every now and then to hit his prostate and keep him in the edge.

"P-please, I-I'm gonna-," his words were cut with his own squeal when his owner yanked him by his hair to make him look at him, all while his fingers kept moving relentlessly. His eyes bored into Felix's red eyes, lashes decored with a mixture of small droplets from his tears of pain and pleasure and the water, mouth open just a bit to moan freely and regain some air.

"You can take it for me, right, kitten...?," he told him, pushing a third finger inside of him forcefully since his hole was squeezing tighter than usual, signaling he was close, in fact.

Without further warning, he pushed his head into the water inside the tub, enjoying how Felix's whole body tensed and his hands tried pushing against the edge to breath. His owner kept a firm grip, not allowing him to budge from his position underwater, all while he worked his fingers to rub on his prostate vigorously. After a few seconds, Felix began moving his hips, unsure if to move closer or away.

Felix let out a high-pitched moan underwater, forgetting completely how to hold his breath and even breathe when his release hit him. It felt just as good as choking; but maybe even riskier. His whole body felt on fire, struggling every now and then in fear of breathing. He couldn't help but inhale some water, struggling just a bit more when he did. His owner pulled him by his hair outside of the water, and Felix gasped deeply right before coughing due to the water inhaled, mixing with whines in between when his owner wouldn't bother to slow down. It was all such a disgusting mess, and Felix had to admit he loved every single bit of it.

His owner slowly pulled his fingers out, to Felix's relief. He was still panting heavily, trying to regain his breath. His eyesight was blurry, but he felt his owner comb his wet hair back and couldn't help but curl his lips into a small smile.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

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