#let's talk about comic book characters as if they're real m'kay?

[beastandwolverine]

Dentition

Poll results:

Thank you to everyone who answered. I really appreciate it!

Let's get into it, shall we? With commentary. Okay, with the occasional mildly adult commentary.

Lower fangs 31% Assuming these are Hank’s “canine” or cuspid teeth, and assuming they’re only on his mandible, they’re going to be tusks. Possibly ever growing tusks. Maybe, in the case of swine, his upper cuspids rub against them and keep them 1) shorter +/- 2) sharpened. Maybe he files them to keep them shorter and smooth.

Either way, the presence of lower tusks is going to realign his lower jaw. When they’re present, they’re usually shown overlapping his upper lip. Here’s an excellent example. Several, in fact:

Supporting tusks of that size is going to also require some restructuring of musculature along his jaw, including up into his temple. Extra bone density too, if they’re going to stay solid. He typically has a beard or thick sideburns, so the increased heaviness of that lower jaw may not be visibly notable. But it could be felt if someone cupped his face! Of course, all the weight of extra bone and muscle to support his mandible means he’ll have increased temporalis muscles along the sides of his head as a counterweight. Again, hair on his head will help cover that. What’s all that mean? He’s going to have a hell of an underbite.

Quick and off topic side note: I added the above pic because I like it and because anyone who knows me fully knows:

Maybe this is why Krakoa Beast is such disgusting guest at dinner? He didn’t forget or lose his table manners, he simply cannot eat without making a mess.

Final note on Hank having elongated lower cuspids. Those types of teeth are good for several things, but one of the best is defense. Sure, by strength alone he could literally tear you in two, but get those tusks anywhere near your frail, thin-skinned body when he’s ready to do some damage and you’ll be doing your best to keep precious organs that should never see the light of day inside your torso.

Recap: lower fangs, 10/10. A nod to Orc lovers.

Upper Fangs 12.1% Vampire Hank? Nah. Vampiric folklore doesn’t mention upper pointed cuspids, if they mention teeth at all. There are few animals that have only this type of tooth without a full set (we’ll get to that below), so this will have a little more conjecture.

There are some deer that have upper fangs, Chinese water deer (left) and Reeve’s muntjacs (right). Cute little fellows. While I’m interested in knowing if Hank has a tongue that can do that, I certainly hope he doesn’t have the scent glands that Reeve’s muntjac sports below its eyes.

Other than that, there aren’t many other mammals that sport upper-only fangs. You’ve got to go back 8,000+ years to get to the most famous: the sabre-tooth cat or sabre-toothed tiger. Smilodon, if you’re nasty.

Obviously, Hank’s upper fangs aren’t nearly as impressive, although with the way he likes to monkey around with his own genetic code, I could imagine some variation has them . . . So long as they don’t protrude, he wouldn’t have to overtly worry about cutting his own lips, although that would be something to watch for. He also wouldn’t need additional bone to keep them from shifting. The maxilla has a bit more integrity to work with with than the mandible. No more muscle would be needed either; the entire weight of his skull could be used to jam those suckers into some(one)thing.

Recap: upper fangs, 10/10. A set for the vampire lovers.

Full set of fangs 55.2%

Woo boy. Now we’re talkin’. This is by far the favorite of fans and artists alike. Classic. Make biological sense. A full set is balanced. 

Maybe the uppers are longer.

Maybe the lowers are bulkier.

Maybe they’re even all around.

But in any of those cases, they’re mostly even and would provide the easiest way for Hank to talk, eat, and bite (if need be/if asked).

Question remains, however, how did they become fangs? When he threw OSHA rules set in place to prevent this sort of thing from happening and drank the chemicals to become grey and hairy, did his cuspids fall out and new ones grew in? Did his original teeth just . . . become longer? It’s the conundrum that divides the werewolf fan community too. 

Recap: full set, 10/10, makes sense

Other 1.7% Here’s the miscellaneous category. Not gonna lie, Beast doesn’t have the same impact with fully human teeth. Looks a little creepy--with a caveat: unless he’s fully human. Although if there was an image inducer glitch that kept his fangs while the rest of him was a good-looking, corn-fed American guy, that’d be cool.

The exception to the rule is I like these even though he’s a lipless zombie:

As for fully animal teeth to match a mostly animal Hank, that works. No notes.

Recap: other, 5/10 (human teeth = 0, animal teeth = 10, hence the average)

If you stuck all the way to the end of these ramblings, thanks! I’d love to hear what you think. And if there are any other physical aspects of Hank McCoy that you’d like to see given the same treatment (and we’re all thinking the same one, don’t deny it, wink), or cats vs human physiology, let me know. 🙂