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biisexualemma · 3 years

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pretend pt.3. oscar diaz

word count: 1583

warnings: not really, a little sad and angsty, a bit of language but happy ending dw!

requested: 'Pretend pt.3?'

plot: oscar loves you, but you’re not convinced it can work

a/n: um thank u to those few who have waited literal months for this last part! i am struggling to write oscar atm but it’s here! and i hope you like it! oop ‘cause i kinda hate this and it took me months to figure out how to end this— anyway it’s here lol read and lmk what you think even if ye hate it

pt.1. / pt.2.

masterlist

"i think i'm falling in love with you."

you blinked, the rest of your body seemed frozen for a moment afterwards. that had been the last thing you'd ever expected from him. you could feel your head throbbing, whether it'd been from the aftermath of the party, or just your mind trying to keep up with what was happening. you furrowed your brows, your hand retracting from his palm, pushing yourself back against the seat of his car.

you couldn't process his words fast enough to respond straight away. instead you shifted your gaze out through the windshield, your mouth opening and closing every couple of seconds. you didn't know how to answer him.

oscar was watching your every move, his stomach twisting when you pulled away from him. your expression was changing ever so slightly every second, he could see you processing the information. he gulped, suddenly thinking the worst, shifting his eyes down to the space between you two. he should have kept his mouth shut and sat on his feelings. he should have let you out of the arrangement and left it at that. he hadn't thought any of this through. you had given no inclination over the past few weeks that you'd felt the same way. you were just helping out a friend.

you cleared your throat after a long silence. "you think?" your voice was still pretty quiet, like your mind was still working through what he'd said. "you don't know if you love me or not?" you were trying to make sense of it in your head, not able to meet his eyes yet.

"y/n—"

"i just think that's something you should be sure about before saying it out loud," you gulped. you were kind of annoyed with him for telling you this. a little part of you inside wanted to revel in his words, the part of you that had been in love with him for years when you were younger. but you'd moved on. you would have never had agreed to do his fake dating scheme if you'd thought you'd fall back into those feelings, you knew you wouldn't be able to put yourself through that again.

you had loved oscar for a long time, and you watched him for years treat women like they were nothing. delusional, you thought you were different and that oscar would never treat you this way, you clung to him. it took a long time for you to accept the reality, to fall out of love with him and realise he would only ever see you as a friend.

so oscar's confession now, wasn't as simple as you feeling the same way or not, it was far more complicated.

"the past few weeks weren't real oscar," you reminded him, you felt like he needed it. "you don't love me— you just love how i've been treating you. if you loved me, it wouldn't've taken you this long to realise."

he shook his head. "i was an idiot," you shifted so you were facing him again, watching how his eyes darted between yours desperately. "i was really fucking stupid— i didn't— i don't want to go back to how it was. i can't."

you shook your head barely, your eyes closing for a split second. oscar had been your best friend for years and he'd never lie to you like this. you just didn't want it to be true.

"i've seen firsthand how you are with girls, oscar. and i don't wanna pretend that you see me any differently—"

"no— this isn't— it's not the same," he was pleading at this point, desperately, feeling you slip away. "y/n, you know me," his eyebrows furrowed but his voice was soft, you didn't often hear him talk like this. it was hard to not get wrapped up in his words. "this ain't like those other girls."

you held his stare, breaking it only for a second when you felt your throat tighten. you couldn't bring yourself to fall into it, something was holding you back. it was too much to have him sat in front of you, begging you to believe him when it was too late.

"oscar, i loved you for a long time," your voice was quiet, all those years your feelings went unrequited. "and you fucked girl after girl, and i watched thinking one day you'd pick me and it'd be different but you never did, and it never was."

his lips were pursed, his hand gripping the seat of his car, knuckles white. he could hear the waver in your voice and it was hitting him like a brick. he ignored you for years, oblivious to anything you felt for him. he didn't realise, until now, how awful you must have felt.

"so, i'm sorry, if i'm not ready and willing," you tried to play off your confession, feeling the lump in your throat grow larger the longer this was strung out. "but i have been telling myself for years to move on— so it feels a bit late for you to be having this realisation when i've loved you my whole life."

he nodded. he understood, of course he did. he couldn't ask you to reverse years of heartbreak because he realised too late that you were the only thing that really mattered. he would just have to live with his mistake.

his eyebrows had knitted tighter together after sitting and listening. "if i could take back some of the shit i've done— mami— i'm sorry."

"yeah, well, me too," you shrugged, your lips tightening. you gulped when he shifted his hand over to yours, letting your palm set on top of his. he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. you were quiet for a while, enjoying the warmth of his hand against yours, finding comfort in his touch for just a little while longer.

"what made you realise?" you were almost whispering when you spoke again, everything was so quiet now.

oscar had to force himself to look at you. it was dark but the light from the streetlamp illuminated just half of your face, your eyes glossy. he clenched his jaw before speaking. "i talked to my ex."

"you did?" surprised he'd waited this long to bring it up. that had been the end goal all this time.

he nodded gently, his grip loosened on your hand, his thumb grazing the back of your hand now. his eyes were drawn to your hands, while your eyes remained on him. "yeah— made me realise she just wasn't you," he refused to shift his gaze. as did you. you felt your chest tighten. his sincerity made everything feel wrong about your decision.

"'cause you— you have these freckles on your nose that only come out in the sun," you watched the corner of his lips tug into a small smile as the image of you, sitting in front of him, sun in your eyes and wind blowing through your hair flashed through his mind. "and you make the same face every time you tell me off— your nose scrunches and you get a crease on your forehead," your eyes drooped listening to him talk as openly and honestly as you'd ever heard him talk about anything. it wasn't a side you saw often, but you could feel yourself soften, and your defence weaken. "and cesar— you love him like he's your own brother— i love that— that kid is everything to me— and he is to you too."

he huffed, the smile slipping from his face when he drew himself out of his head. he pulled away from you finally to run a hand over his face. he was angry with himself for messing this up. "and you're never gonna' forgive me," his heart was beating harder with the thought of losing you. "and i'm on' lose my mind without you."

you were quiet for a while, soaking in his words.

you hesitated, but moved your hand to his shoulder, your fingers grazing his skin, moving to the nape of his neck, urging him to look at you again. edging closer, you rid of the space between you two. oscar's eyes moved between yours, his eyebrows furrowed together softly. you moved both hands to his neck, carefully edging his face closer, your breath fanning against his lips before you kissed him.

oscar reacted, his body shifting closer to yours, his hand grazing your thigh to pull you nearer. your mind was racing, your hands curling around his neck and cupping his face as you leaned into the kiss. you were breathless when you pulled back, finally. his hand gripping your thigh now, scared you might retreat to the passenger seat again.

"you keep talking like that and i might love you forever," you mumbled, almost incoherent. your mind was foggy from this kiss and all you could feel was his thumb was now grazing softly over your thigh. his free had lifted, his forefinger and thumb touching your chin, tilting your head up so your eyes stayed locked with his.

"i swear, i'm in this until you don't want me anymore."

you shook your head, you bit your lip remembering the kiss. your eyes trailing to his lips again as you remembered the feeling. "never gonna happen."

oscar cracked a soft smile, his fingers moving to trace your jawline gently. "it's settled then."

you revelled in his touch, letting him trace over your skin, slowly feeling yourself lean further into his embrace. he pressed his lips against your forehead, lingering for a minute before pulling away and resting his forehead against yours. you tilted your chin up, kissing him for a second before pulling back again.

oscar's hand slipped from your jawline to the back of your neck, pulling you back and kissing you again. his lips moved softly against yours, for a few seconds until you reacted and kissed back. when he pulled away for air you felt yourself longing for more.

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nny11writes · 3 years

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Glitra for the shipping meme ✨🐱

Sorry for the late response, had my job interview this week and recovery from that took longer than expected! (Let's just say things went wrong, but I think I'm the top candidate in part because of it)

send me a pairing and I’ll tell you who:

falls asleep on the couch

makes friends with the neighbors

is the adventurous eater

hogs the covers at night

forgets to do the dishes

tries to surprise their partner more often

leaves dirty laundry on the floor

stays up til 2 AM reading

sings in the shower

takes the selfies

plans date night

Under the cut 'cause it's a lot of answer! :D

Catra falls asleep on the couch, she can curl up into a little ball on one seat but prefers to sprawl out on it once Glimmer has sat down. Glimmer physically can't fall asleep on it, and kind of hates that fact. Both of them make friends with the neighbors, although in wildly different ways. Glimmer is the more classic friendly neighbor who welcomes everyone (secretly in order to get dirt on them and gossip with Catra), while Catra is kind of the reclusive neighbors dream person. Glimmer will bring you tray of food when you aren't well, and Catra will shovel your drive free of snow and deny ever having done that while pretending to ignore you. Glimmer is the adventurous eater! She runs by a try everything thrice rule and delights in finding new combinations. Catra isn't adventurous (sensitive stomach and all) but people think she is because she eats combinations that most people find unpalatable. No Catra, adding mushroom powder to vanilla pudding does not make it taste like a cold cream of mushroom soup. And yes, Glimmer has tried to eat it three times over the years and banned it from the house. Glimmer hogs the covers at night. They start of sharing which is great since Catra is usually cold right before bed, but she'd overheat if her partner didn't steal the blankets. So Glimmer turning herself into a burrito works out perfectly. Glimmer forgets to do dishes more often than Catra. She never had to do them growing up, so it often doesn't cross her mind until a meal is done. By then she's tired and vows she'll do them in a little and just forgets. Catra does forget them on occasion but her nose is sensitive so she'll tackle it no problem either way. If Catra's done the cooking, Glimmer has no problem doing the dishes while she cooks so they can chat the whole time. Catra tries to surprise Glimmer more often. She's more nervous about how people perceive her giving gifts or doing nice things, so she prefers to do it as a surprise thing instead. This can be something as simple as leaving a sticky note in Glimmer's lunch with something sappy written on it, or as elaborate as planning a vacation. Glimmer likes to surprise Catra too, but Catra doesn't always do as well with surprises so she tries not to do it too much. Glimmer leaves dirty laundry on the floor. If Bow or someone else doesn't pick up after her, she genuinely doesn't mind clothes on the floor. Thanks to her super sniffer, Catra refuses to leave dirty laundry anywhere besides the hamper which is not allowed in the bedroom or bathroom due to smelling disgusting. Catra stays up til 2 AM reading. She has trouble sleeping a whole night through anyways and has determined that going to bed later helps her get more consecutive hours of sleep in. But she doesn't want a bright screen or sound keeping Glimmer up, so she reads by dim light (ah, the perks of cat eyes). They both sing in the shower, the only difference is that Catra sings quietly if she thinks someone is home whereas Glimmer often pretends she's on a giant stage and just belts it out. They both love hearing the other sing, and they're both damn good at it. It's complicated on taking selfies. Glimmer has the better phone camera, plans the shots, and asks for the selfies more than Catra ever would. But Catra has got slightly longer arms than Glimmer so she's often the one begrudgingly holding the phone. So technically it's Catra, but really it's Glimmer. They both plan date nights! Catra often plans surprise dates but simple and complex, but when they agree in advance to have a date night Glimmer demands to plan it. She often checks things with Catra when she does, surprise or not, to make sure it'll actually be fun. They've both had to change plans part way through and enjoy planning the rest of the night together.

#glimmer #catra #glitra #she ra #spop #ask game #ship game #thanks for playing!

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years

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❛ TWENTY ONE SECONDS ❜

Headcanon.

with Ezekiel ‘EZ’ Reyes.

Request: As for the request, I am so tired my brain isn't even functioning to give you one. So instead, I'm just nudging you towards our bargain. Post-prison sex with Ez?

BY @ly--canthrope

Warnings: NSFW, smut and feels, the best combination.

Word count: about 1.2k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to the author.

Masterlist. You can subscribe to my broadcast list, to be notified whenever I post a writing!

It's been a week since EZ came out from prison, passing the days by mostly sleeping and resting after eight long years with a firm schedule of tasks and activities.

You understand him, but you don't understand why he pushes you away anytime you try to go ahead.

Starting to think that maybe he used you to keep clinging to some kind of future out of jail, now he doesn't know how to break up with you after living together.

Anytime that he's not close, you can't help but cry disconsolately.

So you take your own decision.

Keeping the few things you have there into a small suitcase, you don't turn when you hear the door of the trailer getting opened.

“What are you doin'?” Angel asks confused, looking at your stuff over your shoulder.

“Leaving”. You just sob.

“Did my shitty brother… break up with you?”

“Not directly, but it seems what he wants to do, and doesn't know how. So I'm doing it for him”.

“Wait, wait, wait. The hell are you talking 'bout, querida?” Urging you to turn, he is trying to find an explanation.

“He just… pushes me away”.

“He is a prospect, he has to do a lot of shit”.

“Ain't talking about that, Angel. I know he has a job now, but… he… The last time EZ kissed me was two days ago. He doesn't touch me. He… waits for me to be asleep, to come to the bed. And… And… I don't know what I'm doing wrong”.

You can't help but collapsing into a bunch of tears. Angel hugs you tightly, stroking your hair as he tries to comfort you.

“Listen, just… give him some time. It's a big change. He's just… finding the way to deal with his new life, okay? But he really loves you, mami. A lot. You can't fake that shit”.

Ezekiel has heard you two.

But that night, he continues acting as always. Distant and silent.

You pretend that you don't hear him jerking himself off inside the bathroom, in the middle of the night, making you feel worse, insecure and unhappy.

Stepping out of the trailer, you light up a cig in your lips. Now, you know that he's not the problem, but you.

The next day when you come back from work, decided to talk with him, you accidentally listen to a conversation between the Reyes brothers.

“Man… she's a fucking goddess”.

“Thank you for the info, Angel, I ain't fucking blind”.

“Then what's the problem? No offense, but if she was my girlfriend… Jeez, I would be fucking her until my dick fell into pieces”.

“I am the problem”. EZ growls frustrated. “Eight fucking years in prison, without… having more fucking sex than using my fucking hand has broke… something inside me. I mean, I ca—I can't fucking last more than… twenty seconds”.

Silence inside the trailer, while you are freaking out outside.

“Okay, this is the first and the last time I'm gonna talk with you about sex... You should tell her”.

“For what? Angel, no matter how much she loves me, you need sex to make work a relationship. That… bullshit about being together is enough is… just bullshit”.

“Yeah, maybe it is bullshit, but she thinks that you want to break up with her”.

“I know, I… heard you last night… I don't wanna lose her, but… she doesn't deserve a man who can't please her”.

“You don't have to use only your cock. You know it, right, genius?”

“But it's not the fucking same, Angel. She will get tired. Finding someone bett—Fuck, I can't even breath thinking about it”.

That really breaks your heart.

Those words are making you feel devastated, knowing that it's not you.

You hide yourself when they come out of the trailer, starting to think about something.

And you wait awake for him, surprising your boyfriend who wasn't expecting it.

“Isn't too late?” He asks, trying to pretend that he's not nervous.

“I heard you talking with Angel”.

His heart jumps, gulping and putting his gaze away from you. Getting up from the bed, you walk towards him as soon as you discover that he's about to cry, ashamed.

“Zeke, lemme help you. Please…”

“I ca—I can't. I've been trying it… Shit, I've been reco—recording the fucking time”. That confession really melts your heart, leaning forward to kiss every tear on his cheeks. “I'm sorry… I swear that I'm trying… Don't leave me, ple—please… It will… It will work, I promise”.

You couldn't.

So, even if it sounds a little cold, you start to schedule your sexual encounters.

At the beginning, it's just about kisses. You two lie down on his bed, kissing for some minutes, until he cums in your hand.

The first time, he cries and tells you how sorry he is. But you don't care. It's okay for you, because you really want to help him. Not only for you, but for his insecurities that don't let him sleep.

Bit by bit, he feels a little more comfortable with the situation, aware that you're not going to break up with him just because he needs some patience.

After his first ride, being two days out of Santo Padre, EZ feels plenty. Ready to take another step ahead.

He knows how to use his hands with you, how to make you beg for him, how to make you stirr under his touches. He is lying by his right side, with his lips fixed on yours, drinking every gasp you utter. And his thick fingers hitting you. Until, to your surprise, he settles himself between your legs, without breaking the kiss. With a desperate slam, he digs his cock inside you, and you can swear to God that you have never felt this good. His pace is somewhat low, letting you mold your wet pussy around his hardness. Ezekiel's face is sunk in your neck, barely breathing, making the effort as your vocals become a little more loud.

“Oh, fuck, babe…” He mumbles. “You are so fucking warm… shit”.

“I'm… I'm gonna cum, EZ”.

“Fuck… yes, babe…” You can notice the proud tone hidden in his moans, speeding up every move he does rocking his hips.

You're close. Too close. Letting yourself go when you can't handle it no more. With your hands nailed on the back of his head, you can't help but cry out his name. The mix of feelings inside you is indescribable, closing your eyes strongly with a bunch of gasps stuck in your throat.

“Can I… Can I come inside you?” He whispers with a trembling tone of voice.

You don't need to say a single word, catching his lips between yours and surrounding his waist with one leg to push him deeper. Some furious thrusts after, he fills you up with a delighted howl flooding the trailer. The heat is wrapping your bodies, almost sweating while your sleepy tongues try to fight the other.

Hearing him laugh again is the best thing that could ever happen to you, hugging you excited because he finally felt like he was really pleasing you.

#mayans mc x reader #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #mayans mc #ez reyes x reader #ezekiel reyes #ez reyes #ezekiel reyes x reader

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ginkgomoon · 3 years

Text

Lucien's Iridescent- Analysis

Finally, some more Lucien-based content! I'm so sorry for the wait, Lucien stans! If you’re out there please let me know so I can say hello to you individually and ask questions about your fav!! I want to interact with the community more so I can expand my knowledge and perception on the different characters and aspects of the game. I’d honestly love to have a chat about MLQC anytime! I didn’t expect to be posting this today because this is one is a freshie! (Started working on it today, and posted up today, unlike the other hundred that I have drafted...) Lots of spoilers for the character of Lucien and for future content. Please do not read if you don’t want spoilers! Thank you! Hope you enjoy!! 🌈 💜

Iridescent definition-

“Showing luminous colours that seem to change when seen from different angles.”

Origins

The pen is originally brought over from England, where Lucien was studying when he was younger. It actually belonged to a Granny before Lucien, and she told him, "give this luck to the special someone when you meet her."

Lucien didn't really care for the pen that much other than that, though.

"Although I had always felt that he was not gentle with me, this time I knew he did care for me. My joy didn't last for more than ten seconds, when my owner took me back and gave me a faint glance, and then gave his full attention the girl."

Also, it's tiny bit ironic about how Lucien can't see colour and names the pen "Iridescent".

"A rainbow! It's my favourite scene- that's where my name came from. But my owner can't see the rainbow. he doesn't know how to appreciate these colours." -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

Iridescent and MC

“This is for you."

A silvery- white steel pen glinted in the sunlight with an "X" etched prominently into its surface. (The "X" refers to his Chinese name, "Xu mo")

MC: "Isn't this the pen you left in the set the first time you were on the show?"

"Yes, at the time I rushed back to the set. Everyone had left but one girl was still foolishly sitting there, just to give me this pen. For the first time I thought, compared to my own actions of running back there, she didn't seem that foolish at all."

His lips curved up in a smile, and his eyes softened.

"It wasn't foolish. I was slower than you, but afterwards, I saw."

I didn't understand what he meant. I tilted my head and looked at Lucien. His eyes were streaked with shadow and light by the sunshine.

MC: "Why are you giving me the pen?"

"The pen has a name. It's called Iridescent. It's a lucky charm that's been with me for many years. Now, this luck belongs to you."

Lucien opened my hand and placed the pen in it, then closed my hand back over it with an assertive force.

"It's just a pen. Take it."

Lucien turned his head and looked at me, the sunlight glistening on his lips, clear and warm. -Chapter 13-10

Lucien gave a lot of thought into giving MC the pen.

"He had been staring at me for so long his gaze almost penetrated me! My owner had always been very decisive and unwavering, but this time, I could feel his hesitation. What was it for?"

But why?

"At the moment I was a little dizzy, and thought, am I now a "love token"?" -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

I would argue multiple reasons actually. Firstly, as Iridescent itself stated, it was used as a "love exchange"- a silent confession that he loves her. He uses this pen for his work, and since this "work" was focused on the QUEEN and BLACK SWAN, it was almost like a declaration that what Lucien had owned- what Ares will soon gain, that no matter what, both personas would be by her side.

He knows that she's always in danger, from others and from himself, so he silently hopes that this pen in becoming that "lucky charm" would also help her so that she wouldn't really get caught and tied up in BLACK SWAN business.

It serves as a reminder for himself too, that a part of him will always be kept close to her. And like how its name is Iridescent, that aspect of him that can see colour is being surrendered back to her, because only with MC, can Lucien finally witness colours of the rainbow.

But of course, like all rainbows, they don't last forever, and MC uses this pen- in the name of colour- his weaknesses and the symbolism and connection of their relationship- against him.

MC: “Why?”

“I warned you before. You still had time to run too bad, you had no awareness of danger. Or one could say, you trusted me too much.”

He spoke in a tone that was provocative and mocking.

With ease, he ripped open a scar that hadn’t fully healed, and my tears came pouring out.

I don’t know why, but in that instant, I seemed to see a flash of sorrow in his eyes. But in less than half a second, he had resumed his composure. Then he pursed his lips and made a faint smile.

Thick blackness surrounded him. Even the brightest of setting suns couldn’t reach him.

But I still hoped that the hint of sorrow I caught was real. I hoped that he was still the way he used to pretend to be. But then why did his eyes seem so sincere?

Even now, I wasn’t willing to completely believe. My heart told me that it wasn’t lies.

Helping me save my final show was real. Rescuing me from danger was real. Every bit of encouragement and help was all real.

If all of that was real, how could the person in front of me now be fake?

I strained to find in his eyes any sign of pain, struggle, even a moment’s hesitation. But there was none.

There was nothing at all. We were like two strangers.

“Ares, what are you waiting for?”

I don’t know where my strength came from, but in an instant, I held something sharp to my neck. I tremblingly held the pen, sensing the bitter taste in my throat.

Seeing my action, everyone froze.

How ironic! He clearly gave it to me as a gift, and now it was carrying out its mission like this.

“You won’t do it.”

My neck was in terrible pain, and half my body was going numb.

I didn’t even realise that a trickle of blood was streaming down my neck. We stood there, neither of us was moving.

“Don’t do anything foolish.”

You’re right, I am too foolish. When I was at my lowest, he held out a hand of friendship to me and I took it in with full trust.

And now here he was again, saying that same voice I was so familiar with, that was all a trap.

He stood there, aloof and cold, with all those emotions swirling in his eyes that I never understood before. Now I final understand. It was the thrill of laying a trap and the joy of watching your prey take the bait.

MC: “Let me go.”

“You think you can negotiate with me?”

MC: “You still owe me a thank you gift.”

A tear rolled down my face silently. (This line killed me.)

He smiled mockingly.

“I can let you go, but next time, you won’t get such an opportunity. Don’t let me catch you next time.” (In other words he means, "pen you did well, now she can escape.")

MC: “Next time I won’t trust you, Ares. I will never trust you again. Because you aren’t Lucien. He would never harm me. They have nothing to do with each other!”

He turned but said nothing. That was the last time I saw a gentle look in his eye. Then he looked up at the sky as his whole body emerged into the shadows, and he continued onwards.

The pen fell from my hand onto the ground. The “X” etched onto it gleaming, seemingly telling me a story. -Chapter 13-19

"I saw the pain in my owners eyes and felt the trembling of the girl's right hand passing through me... grasping me as she left, she could not control her shaking body. She seemed to be holding onto me with all her strength, as if I was her only support.

I was accidentally dropped to the ground and rolling into the dust. but the girl didn't seem to notice, as she was in a trance looking up at the kites in the sky. But the girl crouched down to pick me up and gently wiped the dust off of me. Everyday at nightfall, I knew how much pain she endured and how much she cried in her sleep. I thought she would abandon me, but she did not... -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

n a way, it's also a silent promise, or a reason for him to keep returning to her. The tie that she always clutches secretly in her pocket that she, too, still cares for him and still thinks of him. MC still evens put the effort in the take care of Iridescent, making sure it doesn't get lost or broken. This is similar to how the ginkgo bracelet is a form of support from Gavin to MC.

As I put away my camera, I again reflexively felt around inside-

MC: “Oh no!”

A ball of sweat fell from my forehead. Where was that pen!?

A single possibility suddenly presented itself to me- but another thought immediately supplanted it-

MC: “It’s his anyway. The staff will give it back to him…”

Having confidently convinced myself with that reasoning, I left.

See how they're back to how they were from the beginning- where she was starting to get to know “Lucien”, but now she’s starting to view him as “Ares”. The two personas correlating to this one pen.

I banged my head on the table. I clutched my head in pain, and the metal pen rolled away, stopping before a pair of black shoes. Then I saw a slender hand daintily pick it up.

“You came back to find this?”

He looked at me with a playful look on his face. He raised his eyebrows and held the pen in front.

“Don’t lose it again.”

I reached out for it, but that sunny late spring day suddenly flashed before my eyes, and I started to regain my posture. Maybe I shouldn’t have come back for it.

MC: “Never mind, I’m always losing things. And it doesn’t belong to me anyway. At this point, it should go back to its original owner.”

He slowly and deliberately put the pen away, then gave as light nod. -Chapter 16-11

"With determination, the girl gave me back to my owner. The moment he took me, the last thread linking them together seemed to have broken. My owner withdraw his gaze from her and after a long time he said softly, "my little fool". The words sounded unfinished, with untold tenderness hidden behind them. But in my opinion, should the fool refer to my intelligent owner himself?

I couldn't help but think, did my owner lose his colours? Or will he find them again, someday? Because, those who have seen the rich colours of the rainbow, would not be reconciled with grey again." -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

But in the end, the pen was returned back to MC.

Lucien carefully took out the pen from his pocket and placed it in the girl's hand. The he leaned over and whispered into her ear-

"Next time, don't rush into danger by yourself. Especially on my account." -Chapter 16-22

Like how Lucien would always come back to her- Ares or not, because those are his true colours- that Lucien, like how he’s also “iridescent”, would show all sides of him to her, and that he would love MC no matter which side he's on.

#I CAN EAT DINNER NOW #literally typed out the whole of chapter 13 #proud of myself #恋与制作人 #love and producer #mlqc #mr love queens choice #mlqc translation #mlqc analysis #mlqc cn #mlqc en #mlqc Lucien #mlqc xumo #xu mo #Lucien #mlqc spoilers

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sk-lumen · 3 years

Note

Need serious advice about setting boundaries or communicating when dealing with a person who:

Is a parent

Has unhealthy communication methods -- it takes very little for them to start full-blown screaming, shouting out all your 'negative' things/mistakes/past, can continue to scream-criticise you even after you've gone silent, for WHOLE MINUTES even if you've shut up, will not accept anything that even hints at them making a mistake

You can't trust since childhood coz u made the mistake of confiding in them with a serious issue as a young teen --- mental related --- and they belittled and invalidated you, and since then pretended you never confided in them and have NO IDEA how you've been coping without them or ANYone else for years... Yeah thanks, parent, what u said back then made me think I was the one at fault and so I stopped trusting even friends coz yeah, when ur own parent doesn't give a damn, why would anyone else?

Is a master at silent treatments without explaining what EXACTLY they're punishing you for, then when theyre in the mood, will start talking to you as if they hadn't ignored you for days. Lol I'd rather be water boarded I think. Especially for all the damage this caused when I was a child

Won't openly talk about what they want, yet expects ALL FHE TIME others (in the family) to know what they want, then will complain/scream/angry for AGES about how no one cares, no one gives a damn... And when someone asks them what they want, they either say: nothing, or "you should know! Can't u see?"

Upon asking them to please talk normally, will blow a fuse, and lose it --- happened multiple times today

Literally will use me as a scape goat to unleash their frustrations upon. Even when I leave the room, I can hear them b*tch about how much of a failure I am etc. The trigger being anything that bothers them, from a phone call to something other siblings did, bla bla. I limit my time with them... But it's like, it feels impossible to have them treat me normally, without ridiculing or criticising me. I'm already a very low self esteem person... This doesn't help AT ALL

In short, refuse to tell/ask/discuss important stuff, and getting mad randomly that no one read their mind, bcoz everyone's 'old enough to have enough sense' to know what they 'should' do... Eg will not pikc up the phone when we call them from the store to ask when what the needed isn't available, so what other alternative can we get... And then when we get home, will instead blame us for being fussy and not getting the alternative, completelt skirting around the issue they didn't deign to pick up the phone... I mean, I don't get it. In the past I HAVE in fact asked them to just openly tell me what they want/expect from me to make them happy... Got passive aggressive answers like "don't you know? Are you dumb?" Bla bla

Passive aggressive to the max when they've lost it

Expect me to drop anything I'm doing and immediately cater to them, and expect me to help them in their hobbies (while simultaneously, as I learned many years ago to much heartache, not being interested or even pretending to be interested in my hobbies. The disinterest taught me very quickly how much what I wanted meant, leading to years of self-invalidation. Luckily I've learned it really is them, not me. My hobbies are valid)

Will not talk about why they're feeling angry, what causes it. Instead will blame me, who's like the golden scapegoat in our amazing family, by saying :YOU made me negative. They've said it many times now... It hurts a lot, when I'm also struggling with my own issues which I ofc can't confide in them about :)

Today I manned up -- the outburst of hatred happened again! Over a simple thing. It was NIGHTMARE and made me angry/sad/frustrated/triggered---, and so I told them to stop talking like that... Boy was that the wrong thing to say... I don't think I can accurately tell u what happened afterwards...

Usually children learn communication skills from the parents... I at least learned to recognize the unhealthy ones, and what NOT to communicate like lol. Like, other parent is even worse, believe it or not. But that's another complex situation

I'm not bashing on the parent. Lord knows I even have that much of a right huh? I hate myself eveb more when they invalidate me if I try to show how MUCH THEY HURT me after a 'communication session'. As in, heaven forbid me if I BE SILENT afterwards and DON'T wanna listen to their retardation. Nope. Even then they provoke me, rage at me, you know how sometimes enraged people hiss vitriol thru gritted teeth? Yeah, that's what they did today after I stayed silent and tried to ignore them an hour later after the 'session' when they wabted something. It's like they don't even need me to say a word and will carry on and on for minutes 🤢

I feel alone, helpless and at a loss what to do

I want to move out. Due to severe mental issues I can't even move out rn coz it scares me even more. But this has to stop. Things are only okay if I'm absolutely passive, say yes to whatever they want, kill my wants and needs, and become a perfect robot bred to cater to them (parent)

I hope you can help me out, dear

Hi darling,

It sounds like you’re in a considerably toxic environment. I'm sorry you're going through this. Know that this is not normal, nor is it how a parent/child relationship should be. In case there's any doubt, let me start by saying you deserve to be supported, respected, listened to, to have your needs met. You deserve to live in an environment that offers you all of these things.

With that being said, from the many scenarios you’ve mentioned you’ve already tried reasoning and setting boundaries, to no avail. There is only so much you can do on your own, if the other person in the equation is not meeting halfway or at all. After all, a healthy conversation involves two people, not just one.

Here's my advice, in this order:

Calmly and maturely asking the respective parent to have a serious discussion with you and to listen to what you have to say. Share how their actions and behaviour is making you feel, let them know you care, and make sure to mention several solutions for the issue as well. If this doesn’t work…

Bring up the subject of needing help from outside, such as the assistance of a specialist/therapist. Family counselling can shed a lot of light on toxic behaviours that are ingrained from childhood (both in their case and yours), on fears your parent may have, stress from their work, whatever is causing their outbursts and anger - because there is always a reason. Behind anger is sadness, and behind sadness is some need not being met, or an underlying fear, trauma, etc. This is not a justification for their behaviour, they are responsible for it; this is simply the fact of how energy dynamics work. People bottle up their frustrations, fears, etc, and let them out on those closest to them, to whom they feel superior. It’s not fair, and it’s not healthy, but it is frequently how this pattern works. If this solution doesn’t work either…

Then unfortunately, all you can do is focus on yourself. If they refuse to meet you anywhere along the road, you have to pack up your things and go your own way. Literally or metaphorically. They may be your parent and you may love them even in spite of their behaviour, but you cannot hold yourself responsible for anything they say or do; that is on them. In those cases, you have to prioritize your own mental health and wellbeing, and focus on moving out. If your (home) environment is toxic, you have to focus on first changing it. That’s vital. Only afterwards can you start healing, refinding yourself, reclaiming your self-esteem and confidence, your sense of worth. As long as you stay stuck in a toxic environment, you cannot really heal; if there is abuse of any kind (physical, mental, emotional), the causes are still there, leading to re-traumatizing.

If for whatever reason moving out is not (yet) an option, I would emphasize seeking some sort of counselling for yourself, if nothing else. You need an anchor, some sort of support that will help you along your path until you do get out.

Now, I don’t know how old you are. I am going to assume you are over 18 and of age, so only mind my advice if that is the case. (As disclaimer, I don't provide advice to minors as it's not the scope of my blog nor am I specialized/focused on that area.)

I understand moving out seems scary because it is unknown, but with that line of thought you may wait another 10 years in the same situation. Wouldn’t you wake up 10 years later already having done the hard work on moving out, finding your independence, claiming your sense of individuality and moving on from this sort of environment, this phase in your life?

Sooner is better than later, but do so with mindfulness and care over your mental health, of course. I know it’s scary. But being an adult requires some difficult decisions at times, and setting boundaries begins with choosing your wellbeing and doing what needs to be done, even if it is something uncomfortable short-term, but highly rewarding and beneficial long-term.

Hope this helps... and wishing you much luck, clarity, gentle guidance and comfort.✨

PS: Lately I've been receiving longer and longer letters in my inbox. As solution, I was thinking of having longer asks/letters redirected to my blog where there isn't any length limit, and readers can more comfortably browse both my tumblr and blog - and those requesting advice can share and receive a more in-depth response.

-Lumen

#mental health #toxic relationship #toxic environment #boundaries #parenthood #ask #tw? not sure what to tag just in case #tw: swearing #tw: mental health #tw: anxiety

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death-selfie · 3 years

Text

Put Your Head On My Shoulder

Chapter 3: Just a Kiss Goodnight

For the rest of the night, Gerard and I walked the streets of Belleville. We took a walk into town and pretended to window shop like it was midday. We even looked over the closed flower shop and maybe stole a flower or two. Outside of town, we skipped down a trail together, hand in hand. Our little journey ended at the Passaic River. Across the water, we could see the lights of Arlington. About a mile to our left was the bascule bridge. We could have gone there, but it was late and I'm sure Gerard didn't have the energy to go climb up a bridge with me.

We sat in the tall grass together on a small hill overlooking the river. Most of our chatter has been replaced by a comfortable silence by now. Exhaustion has got the best of us.

"Thank you for tonight, Frankie," Gerard murmured. This broke our silence. I shifted my gaze over to him. This exact moment brought me back to when I first met this man. The moonlight softly highlighted every sharp feature from his browline to his chin. I think I'm falling in love again.

"Of course," I replied. Oh, before I forget... I dug into the pocket of my jacket and produced the second corsage I purchased for Gerard. I took his hand so that I could slide on the corsage. It fit pretty well to my surprise.

"Oh, you-- you bought one!" He seemed genuinely surprised. He lifted his wrist slightly to view it better. I hope he noticed the flower I picked.

"I picked out the pansy," I explained. "It was the flower you liked, right?"

I never got an answer. Gerard was moved to tears at this point, but why? Was the gesture too nice?

"Gerard?"

Still no answer. Instead, I received a tiny cry.

"No one has ever been this nice to me."

Those words struck my heart. No one? I moved closer to him and took his hand into mine. As I laced our fingers together, he brought his gaze onto me. "I've lived the cliche unpopular high school life. I wasn't like the other guys, you know? I liked art, I liked music, I liked fashion. To this old-school town, I was just some weird kid, some outsider. I never felt like I belonged. On top of that, I could never find any friends. My only friend was my brother. He's younger than me, about 3 years. Only he understood me and liked the things I liked. And since I never had friends, I never got a girlfriend. I had thought girls never liked me, so maybe...maybe boys did. That was a mistake on my part," He frowned now and looked away. "Those idiotic jocks...you don't want to know what they did." His brows knit together. Whatever they did, it must've been an awful experience. I squeezed Gerard's hand. "It's why I dropped out early and became the mess I am today. I mean...look at me—" He gestured over himself with a disgusted look. "I'm wearing a skirt! Only girls wear skirts."

As soon as those words left his mouth, I shook my head. "We can wear skirts too," I said calmly. "Besides, I think it fits you. You look stunning." Gerard looked me in the eye again. This time something completely new was on his face. Was that love?

"I can't possibly look great," He muttered. Oh, what will it take to get through his thick skull? I was done with the "attempts" and the questioning. I wanted to feel something new. I'm sick of the doubt and worry that always held me back. This time I'm going all in. I gave Gerard's hand another squeeze as I leaned over to plant a soft kiss on those lips I had always stared at.

Kissing another man was different than I'd imagine. I always thought it would be the same as kissing a woman, but boy was I wrong. It almost felt as if I were kissing myself. Gerard wasn't just any normal man though. His lips felt soft yet a little on the wetter side. It's like they've never seen a chapped day. The only strange part about this was that it felt completely natural. I thought that if I gave in, the Heavens would open above us and the angels would smite us for a homosexual act. However, that never happened.

I parted our kiss now, and as I sat back, I noticed Gerard has been moved to tears. He was happy though. He wore a thin, curved smile at me, and it felt genuine. At that moment, I felt as if my feelings have finally been reciprocated.

"Where have you been my entire life?" He whispered. "I wish I knew you before..."

"Me too." My answer surprised me. For some reason, I did wish I had met Gerard before all of this. Though tonight was magical, I wished we had more time together.

Gerard let my hand go so that he could cup the side of my face. He still wore that thin smile. His eyes glanced over every feature of me. "You're always saying I'm beautiful, but I think you're the beautiful one, Frankie. You don't give yourself enough credit."

"Neither do you."

He laughed softly. "Oh, there's nothing to like about me," He said. Now his eyes focused on mine. "If only I could draw you right now. I think you'd see how beautiful you are then."

How I wish we could stay in this moment forever. I would be happy to escape the daily hustle and bustle of my everyday life to live a more carefree life with Gerard.

"Do you have a place?"

"Of course I do!" Gerard laughed at my question. "Do you think I just roam the streets like a homeless person?"

I blushed, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." Gerard waved me off as if to dismiss my apology. He stood up now, but our hands were still holding one another. Not a word escaped his lips as he led me back into the heart of Belleville. We took all sorts of twists and turns on the streets before coming across a small, rundown neighborhood. Although its appearance wasn't the best, it also wasn't the worst neighborhood in Belleville. It was livable, and that was all that could be said about this part of town.

Alas, we reached the place Gerard has been leading me too. Appearance-wise, I could tell it was in a much better condition than the other homes we passed. It had a new coat of paint on its siding and front porch. The roof looked reshingled as well. I took notice that the lawn was freshly mowed too. At least some people had some decency.

I followed Gerard up to the porch. Before we stepped inside though, I took a hold of Gerard's arm. "Is anyone else staying here?" I needed to ask in case I had to introduce myself.

"Yeah, just my brother," He assured. "I'm sure he's just sleeping right now though." With those words hanging in the air now, he stepped into the house and led me through the hallway to his room. Once inside, I closed the door behind me as softly as I could. Near the bed, Gerard shimmied off his skirt and grabbed a pair of raggedy jeans off his bed. There was an assortment of different clothes scattered on his bed. Something about it was more artistic than messy.

"Sorry for the mess," Gerard said quietly. "I'm not really tidy."

"Me neither," I smiled. An effort to reassure him. I took a seat next to him on the bed and took a glance around the room. His room isn't really that bad. I think it's comfortable. Of course, it could use some cleaning. I rested my gaze on Gerard now and gave him a smile again.

"Did you wanna sleep?" He blushed, his head ducking slightly. I could tell he felt awkward, and honestly, I did too. "Sure," I said. "I can sleep on the floor if you want."

"No, it's fine," He blurted. "I mean, my bed's big enough anyway." He got himself situated underneath the bed covers. His eyes met mine afterward, and he raised a brow. Taking the cue, I shrugged off my jacket and untied my tie. When I felt I was comfortable enough, I crawled over to the other side of the bed and laid down. We were both turned on our sides to where we were looking at each other. There was silence for about a good minute until he spoke up.

"I wonder how Mikey's gonna react to you," He said with a growing smile.

I shrugged my shoulder and I gave him a slight smile. "I don't know, maybe he'll like me."

"Heh, well, he's shy, so talk carefully."

I nodded. We fell into another silence but it was more comfortable than awkward. I wasn't sure when I dozed off...

#my chemical romance #gerard way #frank iero #mcr fanfiction #mcr fanfic #mcr au #1960s au #au fanfiction #original work #based on a song #wattpad #frerard fluff #frerard au #fluff #bittersweet #sweet love #lgbtq #bisexuality #Mikey way

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wreckofawriter · 5 years

Text

Stupid Dance, Stupid Teenagers

Pairing: Remus Lupin x reader

Word Count: 3,135

Warnings: Drinking, mentions of weed? Swearing?

Request: @twilightlover2007: Could I request an imagine with Remus? Bookworm/avid photographer Remus watches from afar until his mates push him to talk to her/ask her to the upcoming ball? :)

A/n: Okay, I am quarantined for a month so I should be writing more but who knows, I am a dumbass. Okay, umm not exscatly in love with this one but I've already re-written it twice so I'm done. So sorry it took so long

Remus felt himself get lost again, before about a month ago he never tended to wander from his classes, they were relatively easy to stick to as most of them were quite interesting, but recently something far more entertaining had caught his attention.

He watched as your fingers fiddled with the device under your desk two seats to his left and one down. He knew if McGonagall caught you she would give you hell, her patience probably ran out simply because of the sheer number of times she had caught you with the camera during class.

You weren't doing anything in particular, simply spinning the lense in your hand and clicking on and off the flash. Yet Remus was completely memorised as your fingers moved so gracefully with the object. He had completely forgotten his notes, only a few sentences scribbled down before his eyes found your form.

He began to wonder how your hands would feel in his hair, fingers ghosting through his curled locks. From there his mind began to wander to your own hair, his eyes following. It looked so soft and smooth, spilling like a waterfall from your head, its y/h/c hue shining in the dusty sunlight which filtered through the classrooms windows.

A jab in his side forced his gaze from you to his dark haired friend.

"Uh Moony if you don't take notes then none of us are going to have any and we are definitely going to fail Minnie's test on Friday." Sirius whispered to him.

"Since when do you care if you fail?" Remus muttered.

Sirius flashed a smile, and shrugged, "Since never but you do."

Remus couldn't exactly argue with that so he simply rolled his eyes and dipped his quill into the ink. But one desk down and two desks over you had taken to messing with your hair and that was far more intriguing so he let his eyes stay there instead.

Sirius took note of his friend's immediate departure from reality and let out an annoyed huff.

"Moony seriously," he began knowing just how disappointed in himself the werewolf would be if he didn't score his unusually high performance on the upcoming exam.

"I'll just ask Lily for notes." He responded, eyes never leaving the girl who sat a few meters away.

"She never gives anyone notes." Sirius shot back attempting to gain Remus' attention.

"Correction, she never gives you or James notes because you are idiots." Remus commented, still not tearing himself from you.

Sirius was fed up with the lack of attention he was accustomed to receiving and pouted, it only took seconds for that pit to turn to smirk though.

"Oh well I'm sure that y/l/n would like to hear you've been stalking her for the past month." Sirius' smile grew as his friend's head whipped towards him, eyes just a bit too wide, cheeks tainted a light pink.

"I have not been stalking her." Remus hissed.

"Sure you haven't, and I'm in love with Malfoy." Sirius grinned, pure ecstasy filling him as Remus turned a deeper red.

Remus turned away from the Gryffindor attempting to ignore him. In response Sirius plucked the maroon beanie from his head placing it on his own.

"I don't see why you don't just ask her out." Sirius shrugged leaning back as Remus made a grab for his hat.

"Give my hat back Sirius." He growled already fed up with his nonsense.

Sirius pursued his lips pretending to contemplate his answer before breaking out in a smile, "Nah, I think it looks better on me."

Remus once again rolled his eyes, "I don't want your grease on my hat Pads, now give it back."

"I don't think I will after that comment." Sirius mused.

Hazel eyes rolled in their sockets once again and he lurched forward in attempts to take the hat from a bed of shimmering black.

While his efforts did gain him back his beanie, in the process his elbow had found his open bottle of ink and successfully drenched everything on his desk.

"Shit!" The boy cursed pushing himself backwards to avoid the liquid before it dripped onto his robes.

"Mr. Lupin!" McGonagall snapped from the front of the class.

"Sorry Professor!" Remus called back glaring at Sirius who bit back a laugh.

"Black stop bothering your desk mate." The teacher added in with a glare.

"Why am I being yelled at?" Sirius questioned.

"Because you are almost always the cause of these issues."

At this point Remus' mind left the ink now dripping to the floor as his eyes connected to yours. You had a small smile on your face, clearly amused by the situation, your camera was now disregarded on your bag as a quill danced in your hand. The boy told himself to stop staring but it made that nearly impossible.

You only shook your head slightly and smiled widening before you turned back to your work.

Remus was sure he was still burning red even after his teacher's had vanished the ink from his desk and continued the lesson.

The Gryffindor avoided looking at you for the remainder of class. By the time they were dismissed his embarrassment had dulled but not disappeared. Sirius refused to apologise claiming it was not his fault and James thought the whole thing was simply hilarious. So when you appeared in front of the three boys as they exited the classroom different emotions were evoked.

“Hey Lupin.” You greeted ignoring the other two boys who stood at his side with wide eyes.

"Uh h-hey." Remus spoke cursing himself for stumbling over his words.

You coughed nervously attempting to ignore the fact that three extremely popular boys were now staring you down. Maybe you didn't think this through properly. "Um well I just noticed that your notes were ruined and I am pretty good at this unit so you can use mine if you want." You said shifting your weight from one foot to the other as you spoke.

The three boys all looked startled, James and Sirius turning to look at Remus who was a bit pale.

You raised your hand to the back of your neck your other holding the notes you had offered up, "It's cool if you don't need them, I'm sure you can get some from Lily or something-"

"No!" Remus said a bit too loudly, cringing at his own actions, "No, Lily would probably be pissed at me anyway."

Your face visibly brightened, you opened your mouth to speak but was cut off.

"Y/n come on! We are gonna be late." A girl down the hall huffed.

"Don't yell at her, she's finally talking to Remus." Another hissed quietly, but not quietly enough.

Your face erupted into color, "Well I've got to go." You spoke so quickly it was almost inaudible as you shoved the notes at the stunned boy before turning and running towards the group of housemates.

When you reached them you slapped the two who had spoken with your books you were holding and buried your head in your hands as you walked away.

Remus stared after you, his cheeks dusted pink as he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

When you disappeared around the corner James let out a laugh, "That was one of the most awkward things I have ever seen."

"I think you mean hilarious." Siriua corrected.

"Shut up." Remus groaned.

"Look on the bright side Moony, now you know she totally has a thing for you so you can ask her out already." James smirked.

"How do we know that exactly?'' the werewolf asked.

"Are you blind, deaf or just plain stupid?" Sirius mused.

"Yeah Moony come on. She gave you notes, blushed way too much and did you not hear the 'she's finally talking to Remus' conversation?" James giggled.

"Whatever." Remus scoffed despite the smile twitching on his lips.

"I can't believe you did that to me." Your groaned face is still hot from the conversation you had a few minutes ago.

"I'm so sorry y/n/n. I didn't mean to be so loud." The short blonde next to you apologized for the thousandth time.

"Well thank Godric you were Elle, that was the funniest thing I've seen in awhile." The brunette who sat on your other side laughed, the memory still pleasant in her head.

"Fuck off Nat." Elle glared, "at least she has the guts to talk to the person she likes, you cant even get within five yards of Alice without turning into a mess."

"That's not fair! It's different." She argued her cheeks tinting red. "Remus obviously likes her." She grumbled, "Everyone knows Alice has a thing for Frank."

Elle rolled her eyes, "I wish you would just get over her already."

"Don't we all." You agreed, happy that the conversation isn't centered around your awkward interaction with the Gryffindor boy.

Class took years but when it finally ended you and your two companions, who were still bickering, walked out to the quidditch pitch. Your camera felt nice in your hands again as you strolled across the bright grass.

As Natasha walked into the locker rooms Elle joined your side, looking a bit upset.

You looked through your device pointing it at the girl who looked on the verge of tears. You dropped the camera so it slung around your neck, pulling her into a hug.

"She'll get over her eventually." You sighed, "I swear she will."

"I just feel stupid." She whimpered, whipping her tears fiercely.

"Dont feel stupid, feel artsy." You giggled, "I wanna go a photoshoot with you."

Her mood changed drastically, "Really!"

"Yeah come on let's head back to the lake." You grabbed her hand walking her back to the lake and away from the pitch.

Remus watched as you left the pitch from his place on the stands, Sirius was beside him following his gaze to you.

"Her friend is pretty cute, I think I might ask her out." Sirius sighed picking at his nails.

"I'm sure she has taste." Remus spoke, rolling his eyes.

Sirius opened his mouth to state his offence but was cut off, "We should go down to the lake."

"I wonder why you would want to go to the lake?" Sirius hummed faking contemplation

Remus sighed again, "I'll just go without you."

"Okay, okay, we'll go, but only because watching James practice is super boring." Sirius agreed standing from his seat.

As the two made their way towards the lake the two could hear loud laughter.

Remus stopped glancing cautiously around the tree to see you knee-deep in water holding your skirt up with one hand and holding your camera with the other. Your friend was standing on the dock giggling.

Despite the fact that she was the one posing you managed to look like an angel. The sun was low in the sky giving you a golden glow as you photographed your friend. Your upper thigh was exposed, your smooth skin visible. Your hair was loose, a strand falling into your face.

“Tilt your head back.” You instructed, “Take a step towards me and pop your hip.”

“God y/n/n I feel ridiculous.” Elle spoke but she did as she was told.

“You’re not the one waist-deep in water.” You shot back closing your mouth and clicking the shutter.

“I’m also not the one who insisted on getting into the water to get a good angle.” She shot back.

“Shut up and let me take your picture.”

“Are we gonna just stare at them or..?” Sirius asked, causing Remus to jump from his daze.

“Shut up.”

“I didn't know you were such a perv Moony.” Sirius giggled.

“I am not a perv!” He whisper-shouted.

“You're kinda acting like one.” Siriys shrugged, smirking.

“Fuck off I cant just let her know I followed her.”

“Why not?”

“Okay, we're leaving.” Remus sighed beginning to walk back towards the quidditch pitch.

“I don't understand why you don't just ask her out.”

“You say that like it's an easy thing.” Remus sighed.

“Just ask her to the spring dance.” Sirius shrugged, “It's not that hard.”

“It’s not that hard for you.” Remus corrected him.

Sirius just rolled his eyes a small smirk finding the way onto his lips.

Remus narrowed his eyes, suspicion suddenly filling him, “Don’t give me that look.”

“What look?” Sirius inquired, face still holding the same expression.

“That look,” Remus spoke emphasizing the first word.

“There is no look.” Sirius insisted.

“You’re still doing it.” Remus scowled, “Its that look you always get before you do something idiotic.”

“I don’t have a look.” Sirius maintained.

“You have a look, James has the same one.” The boy said his look turned from annoyed to scary. “I swear Pads, if you and James plan to meddle in my business I will gut you.”

“I swear I’m not gonna do anything.” Sirius lied through his teeth.

The pestering did not stop. James and Sirius were relentless. They refused to let Remus rest in peace. He was completely fine with watching you from afar but his two best friends seemed to have other ideas.

“What about fireworks Moony?” Sirius asked.

“That's a brilliant idea Pads!” James gasped excitedly.

“If you set off fireworks around her I will kill you.” Remus hissed.

“Fine, but if you don’t do something soon, I am going to tell her.” James shrugged.

“You do and I will-”

“Kill us yeah we know.”

“This is a stupid idea.” You groaned ruffling with your neatly pinned hair.

“Don’t mess with that y/n, it took me years.” Natasha glared at you, her hands were currently buried in Elle's hair.

“But it's so uncomfortable.” You groaned. “Why are we even going to this stupid thing anyway?”

“Because you have done nothing but read and edit holed up in your dorm for the past week and we want to get drunk.” Elle replied leaning back into Nats touch.

“So now I'm gonna have to look after drunk babies too? You're right that is the perfect evening.” You spoke rolling your eyes.

“Whatever you’ll probably end up boning Remus anyway.” Natasha smirked.

“I will not!” You huffed picking up the closest thing to you which happened to be a hair brush and chucking it at the girl with red cheeks.

“Will too.” She mumbled, dodging the object with ease.

You slowly began to remove a few of the pins from your hair as your two best friends began an argument behind you. This was a bad idea. Remus was probably going to think you looked like you tried too hard or that you looked sluty or stupid. This was a really bad idea. But before you could bail the two behind you were standing.

“Ready to go y/n/n?” Elle asked.

“I guess.” You mumbled grabbing a book from your bed and following your friends down the stairs.

Remus could not belive he had been stupid enough to go to this dumb party. He figured it's what he got for being friends with the two most obnoxious party animals in the entire school. Sirius was already hammered and it was not even eight yet. Remus considered making a break for the dorms but before he could he heard a loud shout.

“Y/N!” Sirius cheered as you and your friends entered the room.

You jumped a bit flushing as Sirius threw his arm around you offering you a drink which you declined and the blonde next to you took.

You sighed shrugging off the shoulder as Sirius continued to slur nonsense into your ear.

Just as Remus had built up the courage to go talk to you James appeared out of nowhere dragging him off to help with his harassment of Lily. When he returned a bit less than an hour later you had disappeared.

He caught a glimpse of your friend Elle but to his surprise she was drunk making out with an equally drunk Natasha. He blinked a few times and sighed. You had probably ditched, he didn't blame you, he was going to do the same.

Checking over his shoulder he then quickly he bagan up the stairs unbuttoning the far too tight shirt he had decided to wear.

He bust open the door to the dorms closing it behind him before turning and freezing.

You lay on his bed, hairpins strewn around you, a large book in front of you as you sat in an oversized hoodie he recognized as his own. Remus suddenly had the urge to pinch himself, was this some amazing day dream?

You had a light tinge to your cheeks as you spoke, “Hey.”

Remus swallowed his mouth feeling very dry, “Hey.”

“I'm really sorry im up here, I went up to the girls room and they were smoking weed and I just can't stand the smell so I thought I would just come up here instead.” You squeaked out, your eyes suddenly lingered downward.

Remus glanced down at his shirt realizing he had unbuttoned it and blushed widely, quickly fumbling with the buttons. You refused to meet his gaze as he looked back at you.

“I’m actually kind of glad you're here, I thought you ditched.” He said walking over to you and sitting on the bed opposite.

“I would but my friends are drunk idiots.” You smiled softly.

“Yeah they were making out downstairs.”

“WHAT?!” You yelled causing Remus to jump, “Are you serious!?”

“Umm yeah.”

“Oh my god, finally, Elle has been in love with her since like forever, it was getting very painful.” You sighed.

“I can imagine.” Remus grinned.

The room fell into silence, neither of you quite sure what to say. You flipped a page despite not having read it.

“Hey y/n, I’ve actually been meaning to ask you something.” Remus mumbled picking at the end of his dress shirt.

“Shoot.” You respond, eyes leaving the book in front of you.

“Would you like to go to that stupid spring fling with me?” He blurted out face washing crimson as your mouth dropped slightly.

“Of course.” You respond, your heart beating so loud you were sure he could hear it.

“Really?” Remus asked.

“Yeah dummy, but only if we get to act like stupid teenagers.” You giggled and the boy felt his heart soar.

“Of course.” He answered feeling a heavy weight lift from his chest. “By the way you look really cute in my hoodie.”

You blushed eyes growing a bit wide. “I’m so sorry I had no idea it was yours, I was just really cold because of this stupid dress and it was just sitting there and-”

“It’s fine.” Remus laughed, “It looks better on you anyway.”

Taglist:

@evyiione

@accio-rogers

@roslea

@k3nz-doodl3

@theseuscmander

#harry potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter au #harry potter imagine #remus lupin ships #remus lupin ship #remus #james & peter & remus & sirius #remus lupin imagines #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin x oc #remus lupin #sirius black imagine #sirius black imagines #sirius black x oc #sirius black x reader #sirius black

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billyhargrove-imagines · 4 years

Text

Kindred Outsiders: Pt. 1

Pairings: Billy Hargrove x OC

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 2374

A/N: Hello! This story was originally posted on my fanfiction.com account but I decided to bring it to tumblr as well :) Anyhow, this story is going to take place in the beginning of summer & will later lead up to the events starting in the beginning of season 3. Gif used isn’t mine. Enjoy!

Indiana is…different.

I moved out here merely two weeks ago from Los Angeles, California. My father died from a plane crash over a month ago. He was on his way home from a business trip. My mother, on the other hand, isn't in the picture because she passed away from cancer 5 years ago. I was 15 years old at the time.

I couldn't stand being alone in my father's mansion any longer. It just wasn't the same without him. It caused me nothing but pain having to enter a home where I am not greeted a simple 'hello' from my father. Dinners were always lonely so I ended up resorting to going out with friends almost every night for dinner, followed by drinking at home from my father's in-home bar.

When it came around to bedtime, I felt a pit in my stomach whenever I passed my father's office and didn't see the light shining under the crack of the door. He always worked in his office late.

One day I made a bold move by giving my aunt Joyce a call and moved in with her in Indiana a month after the incident. Aunt Joyce is my father's sister.

Her small house is nothing compared to mine and lacked the useless amenities I was used to. But I didn't care. Living here so far with her, Will and Jonathan was much better than living back in California all alone. Sure, I had friends but it doesn't compare to family.

Since I am an only child of my parents, I inherited all of their money. I also made a selfless decision and paid off my aunt's mortgage. When I told her the news, I was thanked with a slap across the face followed by a tight hug. She never wanted any handouts from my parents in the past and still doesn't til this day.

It is 1pm and I just clocked out for my short shift at this clothing store in the starcourt mall. Yes, I have a great amount of money in my bank account, but I still wanted to keep myself occupied by working a part time job. I didn't want to just sit on my ass all day. Especially since I still don't know what I want to do for my career. I am 20 years old and time is ticking, but I don't want to waste my time and money on schooling when I don't know what the hell I want to do yet.

After every shift I've been stopping by the ice cream shop, Scoops Ahoy and I always see the same duo, Steve and Robin. I've become quite acquainted with them and I learned so far that they're fresh out of high school.

"Let me guess, rocky road?" Steve said with a grin.

"You know me too well, Steve." I replied with a smile, stretching my arm out to hand him cash.

"God Steve. Just ask her out already." Robin added, rolling her eyes playfully and crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the back counter.

"Can you not?" Steve snapped his head at Robin, cheeks flushed red.

"Very funny, Robin." I let out a chuckle and waved goodbye to the duo as I licked my delicious ice cream on my way out.

As usual, I took my time walking through the mall. I wanted to make sure I finished my ice cream before I arrived to my car and headed home. A variety of families, couples and friends seemed to be enjoying their shopping trips. Though word on the news is that many local business owners are enraged about the mall being built due to losing business.

A familiar female voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Hi Victoria!" Aria, my eccentric coworker greeted me, her shoulder-length blonde hair bouncing as she kept up to my steps.

"Hey Aria, I thought you're off today?" I asked, still enjoying my ice cream.

"Yeah I was just shopping around for a gift for my mom's birthday next week." She briefly lifted the shopping bag in her hand. "Did you just get off or are you on lunch?"

"Um, I just got off."

"Yay! I'm going to the pool after this. Join me so I'm not alone!" She suggested. "There's also this hot hot hot lifeguard they hired last week. I went to school with him!"

"Okay sure. But I'm not really into that."

"Come on, Victoria." Aria groaned. "I know you don't have any plans today."

"No I meant the hot lifeguard or whatever. Not into that." I gave a dismissive wave of my hand before taking a generous lick of my ice cream.

"Oh. You're into girls? So sorry. I didn't know."

I snorted in amusement, but internally I was rolling my eyes at her. She's always been quick to make assumptions.

"No no no. I like boys." I made known. "I just don't care to drool over a piece of meat. But I'm down to take a dip in the pool."

"Oh! Okay. Sorry. Sorry again."

"It's fine Aria," I dragged. "I'm gonna go home and change out of this and I'll meet you there."

"Yay! Okay bye!" Aria shouted with glee before going our separate ways. She sure can be annoyingly hyper sometimes, but she's the only real girlfriend I've made here so far. Robin is always working and when she is off, she's always busy doing god knows what.

Like clockwork, my ice cream was finished off before I made it outside to my car. Or should I say my late father's black 1984 Porsche 911. It's quite showy for someone who now lives in Indiana, but this car was my father's baby. I'm never letting go of this.

The Rubberband Man by The Spinners blasted on my stereo as I drove to Aunt Joyce's house. Music from the 70s has always stuck with me. On my face are my favorite pair of black aviator sunglasses.

After a moment of driving down the familiar roads, I pull into the front of my aunt's house. I take the keys out of the ignition, remove my aviators, hop out of my car and enter the non vacant home. "Hey Jonathan." I greeted my cousin who is watching television on the couch with a full plate and fork in his hands.

"Hey there, Vic. You're home early." He said with a full mouth. I hummed in response before scurrying to my bedroom.

I searched through my dresser drawers until I found the perfect bikini for my mood, which is a two piece. I paired my black cheeky bottoms with a neon green strapless top. After quickly peeling off my work attire and slipping into my bikini, I made sure to at least cover up my ass cheeks with denim shorts before throwing on a pair of sandals.

Now I am out the door, tossing my bag of pool essentials in the passenger seat and making sure not to forget my aviators. The sun is at its peak and I am ready to cool off.

Minutes later I pull into the parking lot of the community pool for the first time since moving down here. I've driven past it plenty of times but never had the need to go yet until Aria randomly invited me.

Exiting my car with my bag under my arm and my aviators on, I hear various sounds at a short distance of people enjoying themselves in the water.

The sun is beaming down at me as I'm making my way through the gate, glancing around until I find Aria. "Victoria! Hey!" She shouted with glee, waving her hand. I found her lying on the pool lounger.

"Hey Aria." I greeted, placing my bag on the ground.

"Go on in the pool if you want. I'm waiting for him to show up for his shift. It should be any moment now!"

"Really?" Sitting down at the foot of the empty pool lounger, I shook my head at Aria in disapproval.

She scoffed. "Oh don't give me that look, Victoria." I shook my head at her, dropping my shorts and tossing it in my bag.

Aria let out a gasp out of the blue, sitting up straight. "Speaking of Billy. There he is!"

"Where?" I asked, casually pulling a flask out of my bag. I'm not an alcoholic and I don't plan to get plastered, but a little buzz is well deserved.

Aria doesn't respond. Instead, I scan my surroundings until I spotted the only male lifeguard walking the grounds to my left. He is tastefully shirtless, wearing red swim shorts, a whistle necklace and brown aviator shades. His dirty blonde hair is styled into a mullet, which surprisingly fits his face perfectly.

Billy's head snapped my direction as I'm taking a swig out of my whiskey filled flask. I couldn't tell if he was directly looking at me due to the shades masking his eyes, but all of the women's eyes were on him. And by the swagger of his steps, I can tell he's reveling in it.

"Eh." I shrugged my shoulders, once Billy passed me and sat comfortably in the lifeguard chair. "He's alright." I lied.

From his perfectly tanned skin to his flawlessly sculpted muscles, it's as if his body was made by angels. Even from a distance, I could see that his plump lips could lose any woman in his kiss. But no, I had to feign being unimpressed because a man that looks like that is bad news for me.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" She briskly pulled her sunglasses off, shooting me a look of disgust.

"Are your sunglasses blinding you?"

I snorted. "Nope. I can see perfectly clear."

"Ugh! If you think that Billy Hargrove is just alright, then I don't even want to know what kind of men you consider perfect." Aria mentioned seriously to me as she laid back and placed her sunglasses back on.

"Don't care. I'm going for a dip." I threw my flask back inside my bag before rising to my feet towards the pool to swim a few laps.

Stroking through the water, there is no one alive who can stop me. It's a moment like this that makes me miss the beaches in California. But I close my eyes and lose myself, pretending that's exactly where I am.

Unaware how long I've been swimming to and fro, I do one more lap before I take a break and reward myself with another sip of whiskey.

As I am motioning out of the water and my feet are planted onto the cement, a deep, male voice captures my attention. "Here."

I look and it is the stud himself, Billy Hargrove handing me a towel. "Oh thanks." I accepted with a soft smile, almost hesitant because I have a towel in my bag but I didn't want to seem rude.

I begin pat drying my long, black hair with the towel and begin sauntering towards my designated pool lounger, but Billy halts me, "Hey sweetheart." I spun around to face him with furrowed brows. "What's your name?" He asked, removing his glasses to reveal his annoyingly beautiful, blue eyes.

"Victoria. And you?" I asked even though I already know.

"The name's Billy." He said, randomly placing a piece of gum in his mouth which caused me to catch a glance at his lips, then to his abs and back to his eyes. I swear I saw the corner of his lip quirk up when he caught me. "Nice to meet ya Victoria."

"You too Billy." The sun was so hot that I didn't even need to dry off my body anymore. Instead, I threw the towel over my shoulder.

"Am I mistaken or is this your first time here?" He asked, smacking his gum as he's indiscreetly giving me an elevator look.

"No you're right." Before Billy had the chance to speak any further, I pointed behind him towards the pool. "Hey, I think there's a kid drowning over there."

Just as I predicted, he cautiously looked over his shoulder and that's when I made a beeline towards my pool lounger next to Aria.

"You. Dumb. Bitch." Aria remarked with obvious displeasure as I'm searching for my flask. "I can't be friends with you anymore."

"What now, Aria?"

"Billy the hottie was obviously into you and you blew it! Ugh, the things I'd do to be in your shoes right now."

"Oh please. He's just another pretty boy that wants one thing." I implied before taking a sip. "Go over there and talk to him yourself then." Flickering my eyes, I am now seeing that Billy's back on his lifeguard chair.

"Um no. If Billy wants somebody, Billy always makes the first move. Do I look like I want to embarrass myself right now?"

"If you say so." I said, readjusting the pool lounger so that it was flat and I lied on my stomach, using my arms as a makeshift pillow. "Can you rub sunscreen on me and wake me up in 30. I'm taking a nap."

Being the good friend that she is, Aria stole the sunscreen from my bag and did as I asked. She knows I'd do the same for her.

"I know you can't see right now," she started after a minute of no words exchanged, "but he's looking over here. Probably at your ass." She paused. "I wouldn't blame him though."

She's right. I do have a nice ass.

"Billy can stare all he wants. What do I care?" I uttered lazily, eyes closed and ready to sleep.

"You're insane! If I can't have him, then can you have him for me? And tell me if it is big!" She whisper shouted, rubbing the last bit of sunscreen needed on me.

"Im not having sex with anyone, Aria. Especially not him. I'm taking my nap now."

Billy is just another handsome face with a Calvin Klein body which doesn't impress me because it seems like he's used to getting any woman he wants. But I'm not any other woman, so he can use that charm on the next one for all I care.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove fluff #dacre montgomery #stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x reader #joe keery #robin buckley #maya hawke #jonathan byers #joyce byers

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conaionaru · 4 years

Text

Honor and Blood (Ivar the Boneless)

Not all monsters do monstrous things

Synopsis: Vanya sees Ivar in a new light, makes up with Sigurd and gets an ominous revelation

Warning: Angst, forced marriage, mentions of rape,

Tagged:

@youbloodymadgenius @xbellaxcarolinax @heavenly1927

I don't own the gifs. Also, thank you for your support. I really appreciate it.

In the morning, when Margrethe came to help her get dressed, Vanya knew what she wanted to wear. The blue dress she made two years ago for her father's name day. Blue had always been his favorite color, and now she understood the appeal.

The dark blue fabric complimented her figure. Silas, always said it was too provocative. But mother said that if she looks pretty, that he won't hurt her. Even if Ivar promised to protect her, it wouldn't hurt to secure her safety.

The thralls kept complimenting her as they did her hair. Margrethe especially looked pleased with how she looked. Vanya did not care for the reason behind as much as she should. She wanted to charm the youngest son of Ragnar.

So she left her room, working up as much confidence as she could. Yet the moment she entered the Great hall, all eyes turned on her, and she stopped. All confidence is gone and replaced with a blush on her cheeks. "Good morning." She greeted clearing her throat and walking to her designed spot next to Ivar.

All the boys looked at her, shocked. Her favorite reaction is Ivar, who stared at her as she was an angel. The other eyes made her a little bit squeamish especially when Hvitserk stopped eating with the spoon resting in his open mouth.

Aslaug looked at her proudly, which made her happy. Her goal may have been to charm her son, but she liked the Queen's attention too. She admired the woman's beauty and strength for raising so many sons alone.

"You look great this morning, Vanya." Ubbe complimented her, making her smile proudly.

"I agree, the dress is beautiful. Whoever did it knows the craft well." Aslaug smirked from behind her cup of mead.

Vanya returned the kind gesture with a smile of her own and twiddled with her fingers underneath the table. "Thank you very much, My Queen. I did it myself."

This surprised the older woman. She commented on how Vanya could make her a dress too. The young Princess, of course, agreed. Ivar still kept looking at her with wonder in his eyes. He wanted to take back his comment about sewing being tedious. The dress is anything but boring.

The brothers conversed between themselves during the meal in their language. They also kept giving Ivar meaningful glances, that Vanya had no idea what they meant.

After breakfast, the boys went hunting while Aslaug spent time with Vanya. The two talked about the upcoming wedding and what dress she should wear. The Queen of Kattegat had a lot of ideas. It was nice talking to her. It reminded her of the peasant girls talking to their mothers back home. She always wanted to have that with her mother.

But queen Sifflæd never spends much time with either of her children. She married her husband when she was 16 to save her kingdom from poverty. Back when they were kids, Silas mocked Vanya that their mother cared for him when he was a child. But she didn't bother to care for Vanya. Wet nurses and teachers raised them more than Sifflæd did.

No matter how much the Queen claimed to love her children, they both knew better. She was too angry at her husband to function. Too jealous of his mistresses to even play or speak to the fruits of her loins. It was easier to ignore them than him. And when king Osmond died, and Silas took over the throne, she was free to do as she pleased. She was still young and pretty, so finding a new husband was always an option. So she spent her time with her many suitors while Silas terrorized Vanya.

But Aslaug talks to her kindly, smiling and giving her advice on how to behave during the wedding. How to deal with Ivar and to tell her if he does something she doesn't like.

"Us women must help each other. We cannot survive in this world all alone." The Queen said with a stunning smile holding Vanya's hand in hers. The young ginger nodded, utterly agreeing with her.

They departed ways soon enough as Aslaug had things to do. So Vanya was left alone. She decided to spend some time outside on the bench outside the Great hall. A thrall bought out her sewing utensils as she continued working on embroidery on her last dress. It was a bunch of white flowers on the bottom part of a black dress.

Time flew by quickly as the princes returned from their hunt. They went to take a bath and didn't disturb her. All expect one. Sigurd stopped next to her when Ivar was out of sight and leaned against a support beam.

He watched her small fingers stab the needle into the dark fabric humming a tune to herself. "That is a pretty melody, Princess." Vanya jumped in her seat, her head snapping towards him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I wanted to talk to you."

Vanya looked at him confused but made space for him to sit on the bench. The prince sat down next to her and smiled at her, which was weird considering their last conversation. "I wanted to apologize for what I said. I tried to make Ivar angry and attacked you in the process. For that, I am sorry."

Vanya slowly nodded, mulling his words over. She wanted to ask why he wanted to insult Ivar in the first place, but decided against it. It was none of her business. "All is forgiven."

"That is good. I meant what I said. The melody was lovely." He seemed kind man now. So different from the man she met yesterday.

"Thank you. My wet nurse taught me that song. Do you know a lot about music?" The older man shrugged at that and looked back down on her embroidery.

"I play. But I would not say I know a lot about music. I guess we are both people of art." He kept complimenting her, and she had a sneaking suspicion that it was another way to anger Ivar. Or maybe he is genuinely interested in her work."I wanted to tell you that if Ivar hurts you, you can tell me."

"Your mother gave me the same offer. And I am very thankful for it. But if that happened... What would you do?" It should worry her that two people offered her protection from Ivar. But for some questionable reason, she didn't dwell on it.

There's no way the man who promised to protect her last night, would be the one to hurt her. He may have a temper. But maybe it's just a front. Everybody fears a dangerous man. It commands respect.

"I would make him stop. Mother would just scold him, and it would not stick. He is her favorite, after all. Men like Ivar aren't happy marriage material." Sigurd looked so sure of his statement it scared her.

"You make him sound like a monster." She said softly, hoping he would tell her that he is joking. Or he was trying to scare her. Anything but that Silas chose the devil himself for her husband.

"He is in my eyes." Again that certainty. It made her uneasy. She hated this man. No matter if he spoke the truth. Why didn't he just leave her to her dream of Ivar being a good future husband?

"Not all monsters do monstrous things. Some just pretend to be evil to be less vulnerable. He is supposed to be a fearless warrior; maybe he pretends to be this way."

"He is a Viking. But he isn't like the other warriors. He killed a child when he was four. He torments the slaves. He is not a good man. He seems to like you. So maybe he will try to act kindly around you. But only the gods know how long that would last."

Vanya nodded at the warnings that the fellow ginger gave her. She was so overwhelmed with how he looked that she judged him for his beauty. How could somebody so handsome be so rotten on the inside?

Sigurd left her side to clean himself. And so she was left alone with her dark thoughts. How naive was she? She dressed up for him in her father's favorite color because it reminded her of Ivar's eyes. She said she would judge him for herself and she decided too quickly.

What frightened her the most was the fact that she would be alone with him again tonight. He asked her to come. If she didn't, what would he do? She was terrified of all the possibilities of how it may go. He could hurt her, talk to her, the treatment her, make her like him, rape her...

Why did she not think of that? He didn't want to talk. He tried to win her trust yesterday. And today he would have her in his room, alone, with her guard down. He could bed her against her will.

She could call out to Sigurd and tell him what Ivar wanted. It could be a plan B. Her father always said to have one. It is safer that way. Trust no one, always be three steps ahead of your enemy, and don't let your guard down. Granted, he said it to Silas when he was teaching him strategies. But it could help her as well.

To her horror, it was already late. It was time for supper and a bath. And afterward, she would meet with Ivar. She looked down at the embroidery and frowned.

Vanya lifted her sewing needle to her eye level and watched the pointy object in concentration. Women must protect themselves from men. And a weapon means protection.

She slowly pressed her finger against the sharp tip and applied pressure. A bead of blood rolled down the metal and hit the dress on her lap. She flinched and pulled her finger away and stuck it in her mouth. It gave her an idea. She did not have access to a weapon. But she had needles. She could hide a big one in her dress. And if he tried anything, she would stab him with it. Then she would r run to Sigurd or Aslaug.

With her reduction made, she left the bench and returned to her chambers. She put away her work and went to the hall to eat.

#Vikings #ivar lothbrok #ivar x oc #ivar the boneless #original character #original female character #oc

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thescarhead · 4 years

Text

Chapter 5: Or worse

"Mister Potter, Mister Weasley. Mister Longbottom and Miss Granger too! Why are you four out this late!" Professor Black exclaimed, looking at his first year students in surprise.

"Do you have any idea what could have happened if I wasn't here. You could have been hurt. You could have killed. I expected better from you." Professor Black said putting down a bucket of what Harry hoped to be raw meat as his professor's worried voice started to become calm as he checked to make sure they have no injuries.

Harry and Ron looked stunned by there professors actions while Neville whimpered in shame and Hermione bursted into tears.

"I'm sorry, I tried to stop them but they didn't listen and I followed along so they wouldn't get hurt and and and," Hermione sniffled trying to talk through her crying.

"Your not in trouble Miss Granger. You children could have gotten into serious danger, you should be very lucky," Professor Black said passing Hermione a black silk handkerchief.

"Ah, so you caught the troublemakers Professor," Mr. Filch said come there way after hearing the ruckus they caused.

"It's fine Mr. Filch, I'll take care of the troublemakers but I am more worried as the how they managed to get so deep into the forbidden corridor. To be able to use such basic spells would be a fault in our abilities if I must say. If you could be so kind Mr. Filch, would you inform Dumbledore that extra precautions are in order?" Professor Black said in a soothing voice as Mr. Filch looked at him with a nod and grumbled off to the headmasters office.

"Now then children, come along." He said as he started to walk off to which they followed suite. Ron was a little beyond worried at the moment because this was becoming eerily similar to the times his mother would drag him off from public's eyes and then proceed to yell at him.

"Professor, all those trophies, awards, medals; why didn't you work for the ministry?" Hermione asked still sniffling as they walked through the halls.

"Didn't want to." He said not wanting to bring up the conversation although is was a couple moments later that Harry spoke out.

"Is it because of your brother?" Harry blurted out.

And at that moment, they saw his Professor flinched and pause for a moment.

"I suppose I did it to please my parents, and to drag attention to me instead of my brother. Of course they always found a way to be angry at him, not to mention he had a natural way of being in the spot light." Professor Black said hesitantly as they arrived to the Gryffindor entrance.

"Now then, detention is in order; I won't take house points if that's what your worried about Miss Granger and this won't be on you record either, there is no need for you to shed any more tears tonight, the Saturday after Halloween would do just fine. But if you get caught out of your dorms again, I will not save you from Mr. Filch again. Now off to bed with you four." Professor Black said as the four went into Gryffindor tower.

"Oh, and Harry." Professor Black spike out getting Harry's attention, "Congratulations on making the quidditch team, I'm sure you'll prove yourself well." He said in a small kind smile he seemed to always carry around.

——-

"Why did they even have that thing in a school," Ron said still unsure what they experienced.

"Did you see, it was guarding something, there was a hatch under its paw." Hermione said already working out thoughts in her head as clenched the handkerchief.

"I was a little to busy looking at it head, if you didn't notice, it had three." Ron retorted.

"Is not one else going to question that the Professor had a bucket of meat with him?" Neville asked trying to stay out of Ron and Hermione's firing range.

"Probably feeding that thing." Ron said.

"But the meat was purple....."

"What so concerning about purple meat! What we should be worried about is that we didn't become dog food or worse." Ron said think of just what kind of punishment he would get if his mother found out.

"You two better get your priorities straight, especially if your going to get us killed again. Or worse. Expelled. Come on Neville; let's go back to are rooms. Hermione stated as she went off to her room and dragging Neville to his.

"Mental that one, isn't that right Harry?"

Harry wasn't sure what to think of Hermione because he was busy thinking of something else at the moment, something he didn't notice before. Professor Black; for a moment, gave Harry a feeling of familiarity.

But that's impossible.

Harry could have not met Professor Black before. Right?

"El Gasp, what are you two doing up so late." George said coming into the common room with Fred as they held several bottles of different colors of liquids.

"Are you causing trouble Ron, I'm so proud you're getting into the family legacy," Fred said pretending to cry tears of joy.

"No I'm not! What are you two doing up so late; what are you carrying." Ron said in bewilderment although Harry to was wondering just what the twins were doing.

"Oh you'll see."

"Isn't dangerous."

"Just causes a loud bang."

"I'll save you the trouble."

"Don't be the first to the Great Hall tomorrow."

"You can say it'll be a colorful day tomorrow," they said in unison as they let out a small laugh and went up to their room leaving Harry and Ron in concern.

——

"You should have expelled them." Severus Snape said as he stepped out of the shadows were he lurked, having made his presence clear after Regulus had dropped of the kids.

"Anyone can make mistakes, this is their first, it's only right I go easy on them." Regulus told as he took notice Severus appear out of nowhere dramatically as what seems to be a natural ability for Slytherins.

"Your picking favorites."

"I'm not picking favorites Sev."

"Then why watch over him." Severus said; Dumbledore must have told him, although Regulus didn't tell Dumbledore either; Dumbledore knows everything.

"You and I both know that I will take every opportunity I have to messing with his Muggle caretakers. Not only are they ill mannered, wear the most hideous clothes ever! Who in Merlin thought wearing pastel clothes with black shoes was a good thing??!! Did you know they lock him in a closet. They don't even bother to clean it. Not to mention it's a crime on its own to not tell him who he is, they have told him nothing, and fight me if you want; that's just as bad as what my mother did to me," Regulus said as he thought of all the times he watch over Harry, and all the counts of him having to obliviate people that saw to much of Harry's accidents.

Regulus tried to stay away; but he just couldn't.

They were alike; both having family that didn't like different, both having been abandon by the one person that could have saved them.

"It isn't Harry that took my brother away and it wasn't Harry that took her away either."

Extra

•if you read Snape's voice as Alan Rickman then you are a gift and thank you for reading my story

•I've always had that thought that Regulus would do everything he can to be the perfect son so Sirius could just blend into the background and there mother would stop hurting Sirius (it didn't work though, Sirius can NEVER blend into the background)

•funny how when the person that need help the most, always are alone

•The Weasley Twins put color droplets in the kitchen ingredients that will make people's teeth into different colors.

#regulus black potions master #regulus black au #regulus black lives #regulus black #harry potter #hermione granger #neville longbottom #Ron Weasley #fred weasley #george weasley #severus snape

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09yards · 5 years

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8 - When You’re Gone (days gone by - nct)

All the mystery and the magic You light up what once was tragic And I know that I will miss you when you're gone I could never have imagined All the heavens pour with passion But I know that I will miss you when you're gone

Johnny had been right about one thing tonight; it was indeed a family affair. What felt like just about everyone Mark was close to, was dispersed throughout Yuta's house. The parents had all congregated in the kitchen, about five too many bottles of wine left empty on the side for the number of people - the chatter and laughter rang in Mark's ears.

God, he hated being drunk. The smallest of sounds seemed to echo in his ears but at the same time it felt like he was hearing things underwater, his head was spinning and he was about six too many drinks in and he'd barely been there two hours. The air around him feels thick, muggy from too many people being crowded into the various rooms.

Jisung had somehow managed to get out of the whole ordeal, arguing with their mum about how it would be inappropriate for someone who is (even more so than the others) underage to be surrounded by drunk people and the possibility of him therefore partaking in said underage drinking would be increased and that's not good for his health. Johnny had called him a pussy under his breath and had promptly earned a slap to his stomach from their mum and a stern "watch your language John" who then turned to Jisung (whose face was now adorning the slight pout and puppy dog eyed look - aka how to get their mum to do whatever they wanted look), her face relaxing into a gentle smile before kissing the top of his head (on her tiptoes which made her pout) and telling him to rest well and not stay up too late studying or engrossed in whatever novel he was currently working his way through. Mark stuck his tongue out on the way out the door - the kid could get away with everything, he and Johnny had dubbed it the youngest child effect. Johnny was pretty upset that he'd wasted good chocolate milk and now Yuta was going to get to drink it.

Mark had been dancing around since he'd first arrived, back and forth between rooms in hopes of avoiding Donghyuck. Honestly, he wasn't entirely sure why he felt the need to avoid him, the younger was probably doing the exact same thing though since the lack of communication between the two since way back to Mark's birthday. Mark had spent some time pining and was okay about the whole situation now (as okay as he could be on the surface anyhow). Mark had been so busy with school - even with only being a month and a half in - he'd been spending lunches in the library, study periods with his tutor to talk about his personal statement and what felt like every second of his free time was spent pouring over his textbooks, homework and whatever else he could get his hands on. The only breath of fresh air was when he finally submitted his uni applications, nudging the whole ordeal to the back of his mind rather than playing the waiting game to see if he'd get accepted or not. He'd drifted apart from everyone in a sense but with Donghyuck it was weird. When he passed the others in the hallways, they'd spare a second to flash a smile or give a quick wave, things were normal, but with Donghyuck it felt like he purposefully averted his eyes every time, maybe Mark's mind was playing tricks on him, maybe it wasn't.

Renjun had ranted to him over facetime at three am one night about how Donghyuck seemed to squash any and all rumours quite quickly about whether or not he was gay, Heejin and him had made up somehow apparently and Renjun had seen the two of them spending time together - what for, Mark didn't know, nor did he want to. Renjun had said it was probably some sort of ploy due to Hyuck's parents. They all knew the story and they weren't the worst, but when Hyuck's older brother, Taeyong, had come out they just seemed to ignore it - they pretended like it hadn't happened and they never brought up dating around Taeyong ever again until Taeyong had gotten quite sick of it and had decided to bring his boyfriend (although he hadn't introduced him as his boyfriend, it was quite clear by the two's body language that Taeil very much was) to their annual family Christmas party. Not his proudest moment he has admitted on multiple occasions but, to Mark and the others it was quite the scandal, particularly as lovely as Donghyuck's parents were, they just seemed to not realise the number of people around them that were gay, much to the amusement of the majority of their friends. Just about everyone was gay, bisexual or pan between Mark and Johnny's friends, as well as a copious amount of people attending their school alone were part of the LGBTQ+ community and openly expressed their support of it and how the Lee's were yet to realise it no one would ever know, as well as how they've managed to live in their surprisingly accepting small town where political and social 'issues' weren't taboo. Taeyong had moved out the moment he was accepted into uni and promised that he wouldn't end their relationship for the sake of Hyuck, even if it meant the only time he spoke to his parents these days was when 'required' to at family events and the occasional birthday phone call. Mark and Donghyuck had grown distant over the last two months and Mark couldn't help but feel like it was to do with the rumours. Mark knew Donghyuck's parents wouldn't be happy about him being gay, if he was (Mark was still confused as to whether or not he'd come out to him that day) they would just pretend like it wasn't happening, make up a girl that he was supposedly dating to rely it to the family - it had happened before and it would more than likely happen again. But alas, Mark was far too drunk for him to be able to work up the emotional capacity to act like the best friend, if he could even call himself that anymore, he should be too Donghyuck.

- - - -

"Jaehyun, please stop, I'm too drunk for this-"

"Being drunk is the perfect time young padawan! As the expert on all thing’s soulmates, please remember I have known mine since I was a mere five years of age, I am the most qualified to educate you here."

"You're probably more drunk than I am right now-"

"I probably am, okay, I definitely am but, doesn't stop me from being happy and in love and married to the best person in the world."

"You aren't married?"

"That's what you think."

"Jaehyun, what on earth is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that just because I may not be legally married, yet, that doesn't mean I won't be anytime soon. I just need to pick a ring and then ask him but it's not like he's going to say no right? Having a soulmate, you are bound to that person for the rest of your life, that's the whole idea of marriage, is it not? Oh look, there's Doyoung, see you later Mark!" Mark was flabbergasted, apparently Jaehyun had turned into some kind of Tumblr drabble reciting robot when drunk off the dubious substance in his cup, although if you asked him he'd probably just say it's what happens when you're in love and then flash you the famous Jung smile - dimpled and gummy.

"Wait!" Even when he raised his voice himself it made his head pound, "You didn't give me your advice?"

"Oh yeah," Jaehyun could barely stand straight, gently swaying as he paused in his steps half turned to Mark, “Just confess already. The pining isn't doing you any good and there's no other way to find out if he's your soulmate or not unless he tells you he's the one who caused your tattoo. Right now, you're only hurting yourself, stop feeling guilty all the time and be a little selfish for once, not that telling someone how you feel is selfish. You'll only make yourself sick, literally, either way and yes it could end up worst case scenario but you could also end up happy. You deserve to be happy Mark, you've spent so long doing things for everyone else because you felt like you had to, do something for yourself." Mark let his weight sink to the floor, his back pressed against the cold wall of the hallway.

Maybe it's what he needed to be able to let go?

"Mark, hey," Jungwoo turned the corner, finding Mark still cuddled up against the wall where Jaehyun had left him earlier, "I was looking for you, you disappeared on everyone."

"Jungwoo... I want to apologise again about what happened at my birthday. I was drunk, wasn't thinking straight. What I did was wrong, so wrong and I'm so sorry for it and for upsetting you and-"

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm okay? Taeyong introduced me to this older friend of his anyway, very cute, very mature so no risk of him doing any classic teenage pining. Besides, neither of us were exactly thinking straight Mark. You and Haechannie will figure things out soon enough."

"Jaehyun told me to confess, that's why I'm here, debating whether that would be easier than yeeting myself off a cliff." Mark couldn't look at Jungwoo, he still felt guilty, sure they'd both been drunk and neither were exactly hoping to start anything in the future but it felt sucky, Mark never wanted to hurt someone else and in that moment he did, whether Jungwoo was okay now or not.

"Maybe you should, get everything out in the open rather than keeping all those emotions bottled up. You never know, maybe good things will come from it."

"Thank you, Woo, I know what I did was super shitty and I really hope you know how sorry I am."

"Shut up Mark, it never happened."

"Right, it never happened."

For the first time in a while, an actual smile threatened to appear on Mark's face. "Come on, lets re-join the party! Winwin got everyone dancing, even Johnny," Jungwoo grabbed his hand to pull him up from the floor, "let’s have some fun."

As Jungwoo and Mark joined the makeshift dance floor of Yuta's living room, more drinks were pushed into their hands as their friends whooped and cheered that they were back, all far too drunk to remember any of their actions come morning. Jaehyun and Doyoung were cooped up in a corner, speaking in hushed voices to one another, both of their eyes filled with complete adoration for one another. Lucas was twirling Yuqi, the two of them bursting into fits of giggles whenever they made eye contact, it was endearing, Mark thought. Yuta and Winwin seemed to no longer be hiding their relationship status when Sicheng was not-so-subtle, sitting on Yuta's lap, the two leaning in for an R-rated kiss that Mark swiftly looked away from. Jaemin's head was resting on Renjun's thigh as they sat down on the sofa, evidently Jaemin had drunk more than he could handle and Renjun's hands gently cascaded through the younger's hair. Mark liked seeing his friends together, it made him realise just what having one’s soulmate can do, how it can make you feel. But he couldn't help the pang in his chest at the thought, he was alone, his eyes somehow having found Donghyuck among the copious amounts of people dancing. Mark couldn't take his eyes off of him, he gravitated towards him, dancing with some girls from his class who dragged Mark to join them - pushing him towards Donghyuck.

The younger's head snapped up at the mention of Mark's name, no longer focused on perfecting the choreography to whatever song was playing with Yeri and Irene. Before Donghyuck could escape, Mark clasped his wrist, looking at him with pleading eyes. Now or never, now or never.

Donghyuck freed himself, flashing Mark a disgusted look before walking out of the room as fast as he could without drawing attention to them, Mark close behind.

"Hyuck, wait up please!"

"Leave me alone Mark."

"Come on Hyuck, at least let me speak," Mark's shoulders slumped as he let out a deep sigh, attempting to build up his courage, now or never. "J-just let me say this and then you can scream, yell, runaway or whatever it is you want to do," Donghyuck's resistance against Mark pulling his arm again relaxed, "just, please let me speak."

"Fine. What do you so desperately have to say?" His voice was wobbly, Donghyuck was telling himself that it was because of the cold October air and not his emotions getting the better of him. Donghyuck doesn’t even remember at what point they’d made it outside – nor does he see the audience of one they’ve gathered.

"Okay, right, here we go."

"I don't have all night Mark."

"Right, sorry. Of course, I just need a second." Was the air getting thicker or was Mark just having trouble breathing?

"Here goes nothing," Mark took one last deep breath and closed his eyes, he had this speech engraved in his mind ready to use it at any moment, "I like you Hyuck. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you and I'm also fairly certain that you're my soulmate.

I know that we're young and I'm definitely dumb and you aren't even eighteen yet but, I know that I'm in love with you and I trust that the universe made us meet that day in the library because you are my soulmate. I can't imagine my life without you, I can't imagine waking up next to anyone else. I can't imagine kissing someone else, holding someone else in my arms, running my hands through their hair, listening to them hum along to the radio. It's always you, in my daydreams and my nightmares, whether I'm asleep or awake you're always by my side.

Believe me when I say I tried to stop, I tried to convince myself that you're not the one. I spent so long crying myself to sleep, begging the universe to let me stop loving you, I tried, I really, really tried... but, I'm always going to love you. I think I've known that since the day we first met and I need you to know that, I'm always going to love you. No matter what. I've imagined me saying this to you hundreds of thousands of times and I was never going to say anything but I can't keep doing this. I can't fake another smile, I can't fake like everything’s alright all of the time, I can't fake that I'm alright. I love you Donghyuck."

"Mark," Donghyuck inhaled sharply, "I don't know what you want me to say..."

"Say you feel the same, say you can feel your soulmate mark showing up, whatever," the pleading in Mark's words was clear by his breathlessness, "Hyuckie, please, I know you can feel it too."

"I'm sorry Mark, I really am," his shoulders slumped and he couldn't meet Mark's eyes, Mark's pleading gaze, "I'm so sorry. I can't do this. I don't feel the same, I'm not in love with you Mark. You're hurting someone else by doing this, please get over me and stop - I know you won't be able to handle the guilt. I can't let you hurt someone else, I can't hurt you by lying like that. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

And with that he turned away, leaving Mark behind, hiccupping in attempts to breathe while he sobbed uncontrollably. A pair of arms wrapped around him, pulling Mark into a warm chest, a gentle hand patting his head and muttering "it's okay" over and over again.

Mark had never felt more sober than he did in that moment. Dizziness overtook him, the walls if the hallway felt like they were closing in around him, getting closer and closer, suffocating him. He sobbed and sobbed until he didn't have a single tear left to cry, his body spasming as he tried to catch his breath, hiccupping into the comfort of Johnny's arms.

Mark had never wanted to get drunk more in his life.

- - - - -

Donghyuck is peacefully absorbed in his history textbook when his attention is snapped away from medieval medical treatments and to Jaemin quite literally plonking himself in the chair over the other side of the table to Donghyuck, letting out an exasperated sigh as he does so, backpack discarded on the floor by his feet as his eyes meet Donghyuck's - they're inquisitive and Donghyuck feels himself shrink in on himself a little, out of apprehension, fear or embarrassment, Donghyuck isn't sure.

"What happened with you and Mark?"

There was a slight bite to Jaemin's voice, no traces of any gentleness or subtly. Jaemin wasn't for softness when it came to life generally, particularly when someone’s upset, he approaches situations with the grace of a herd of elephants.

"Nothing."

Jaemin tuts, rolls his eyes and lets out a deep sigh, clearly not satisfied with Donghyuck's answer - or rather lack thereof.

"Oh, that’s not what I heard?"

Donghyuck can't tell if Jaemin drew the short straw and is the one tasked with interrogating him over the events of the weekend or if he's genuinely doing it for himself. Maybe Mark is keeping quiet about the events of that night, however even with how good the two are at avoiding one another it is clear Mark hasn't been in school the last few days, they aren't that good at not having crossed paths remotely once. Donghyuck couldn't help the pang of guilt. Donghyuck also knows that Jaemin isn't giving up, he's tapping his fingers against the desk as if he's hoping that'll prompt Donghyuck to talk. Jaemin is nonchalant about most things in life (aside from anything Renjun related), yet he doesn't back down and is evidently undaunted when it comes to getting what he wants.

"Well, nothing happened."

"Bullshit." Jaemin counters, without missing a beat.

Donghyuck is taken back by the harshness of his voice. Honestly, Donghyuck thought they would drag this out for longer, more like he was hoping he could keep up his charade of 'nothing happened' for longer, staying in his little bubble where he could pretend like everything was okay - like that night hadn't happened and he hadn't broken his best friends heart. Jaemin was the type to bug you to just the right level of being ridiculously annoying to get what he wanted out of you - driving you to insanity bit by bit was more his style unlike the current look of utter despair lacing his usually kind features.

"That's utter bullshit and you know it. Whatever fantasy charade you're keeping up by pretending everything’s okay is ending right now. You keep sighing in lessons, I can practically feel the anguish radiating off of you from the other side of town and here you are straight up lying to my face and just about everyone else, including yourself."

"Why do you care so much?" Hyuck didn't mean to sound so cold, it was just a second-nature defence mechanism at this point as well as being caught off-guard by Jaemin's sudden outburst.

Jaemin looks at him again, staring dead into Hyuck's eyes like he's searching for Donghyuck's last remaining brain cell, jokes on him though because it's not there. "Because Haechannie, I actually care about you and want to make sure you're okay as well as Mark. The tension between you two is downright depressing and I thought all the melodrama ended when Renjun and I got together but clearly, I was wrong, the two of you are so much worse. Both with permanent pouts on their faces, avoiding talking about whatever happened so no one can do anything to help which again, is just," Jaemin let out some disgruntled sound in lieu of an adjective but laced with the same disgust he was attempting to convey, "you see? Everyone has been here before, we're not all Jaehyun and Doyoung, you're more like Johnny and Ten and the utter mess that was the start of their best-friends-to-boyfriends transition. We all care about you; we all want to make sure that you're coping and not making yourself sick." Jaemin's now looking at him with one eyebrow raised as if Donghyuck's now supposed to magically understand whatever Jaemin's word vomit was actually implying.

Donghyuck lets his eyes wander over Jaemin's appearance, his hand griping his hair in anticipation of Hyuck's reply, pupils blown, wide and gazing at Donghyuck's face for any hint of emotion, looking slightly manic. Donghyuck evaluates his current position and with a deep breath he feels calmer, his muscles have relaxed, a smirk graces his face and-

"Oh, I've been meaning to ask, how are Johnny and Ten?"

6 NEW MESSAGES FROM RENJUN

I don't know what you did but you broke Jaemin

I've been trying to get him to shut up for years and you did it in less than half an hour

teach me your ways

he hasn't said anything since he got back, he's just sat there staring out the window with his mouth hanging open

Jisung and Chenle are seeing how many blueberries they can get in his mouth until he snaps out of it

they're up to nine

let me know how many they get up too

and tell Jaemin I'm sorry and that I'll

talk when I'm ready.

Donghyuck smiles, its only small but it’s his first genuine smile in a while.

- - - - -

The rain is bouncing off the ground as he walks home, splashing his ankles and soaking the ends of his jeans. The temperature seems to have dropped by a million degrees since this morning and he's wishing he checked the weather app and put a warmer coat on. He's at the point where the harsh October air feels like it’s getting in his bones, just about every inch of him is freezing and just when he thinks things can't get any worse, as he turns the corner to his house he's met by a tall figure sat on the steps leading up to his door.

The rain is the last thing on his mind as he lets his umbrella drop to his side, tilting his head as if that would help him get a better look at the boy that's slouched over, flicking his phone between his hands.

Upon hearing Donghyuck let out a pathetic attempt at a cough in hopes of gaining the others attention, the mop of blonde hair moves until Hyuck is met with a heart-warming, lopsided smile he could recognise anywhere.

"Hey, Haechannie."

"Hello, what can I help you with?"

"I think you know why I'm here."

#cznnent #nct #markhyuck #nct fic #markhyuck fic #nct 127 #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct mark #dojae #nct donghyuck #johnten #luqi #renmin #yuwin

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: what are you actually doing Ronnie: having an orgy Ronnie: ain't you gutted you didn't stay Joe: was before Joe: however appealing or un that is Ronnie: cry to some other cunt Ronnie: I told you not to go Joe: I ain't interested in no other cunt, that's what I just said Joe: I had to, didn't I Ronnie: don't be a pussy Ronnie: you ain't gotta be a mummy's boy all your life Joe: it's christmas Joe: that's what has to be done Ronnie: and what? family's for life Ronnie: tell that to your ma Joe: you should've come Joe: it's a mess, you'd have had fun Ronnie: I don't do babies Ronnie: and I weren't invited Joe: me either Joe: and you are Joe: come now Ronnie: whoever the fuck your ma wants me to be ain't who I am Ronnie: try telling her the truth and see if I'm still given a seat Joe: you don't need to be anyone for her Ronnie: swallow your own bullshit sayings first Joe: alright so it's stupid Joe: but I need you here Ronnie: you can't have me there Joe: for fuck sake Ronnie: you want me or you wanna be her golden boy Joe: you know exactly which I want Ronnie: you think you know but one look at my tracks and fun's over baby Joe: I can have you and drugs Joe: that ain't mutually exclusive Joe: never has been Ronnie: you can't have fuck all around your family Ronnie: a uni degree and a 9-5 is your lot babe Joe: they'd not even notice Joe: baby central, yeah Ronnie: they'd notice me Joe: we could find out Ronnie: don't Joe: alright Joe: fine Ronnie: it's not all about you Ronnie: selfish prick Joe: I know you don't wanna be here Ronnie: then don't fucking ask me Joe: I know what I am Ronnie: you know who I am Ronnie: you're wasting your own time Joe: yeah Joe: and you know I don't care Ronnie: that's why you're there pissing away the day, yeah? Joe: what do you suggest? Joe: taken every pharmaceutical I could get into the country Ronnie: leave the country Ronnie: grow a fucking pair mckenna Joe: on xmas day yeah Joe: called a fantasy play the game Ronnie: you want me to show up Ronnie: why the fuck can't you? Joe: selfish prick Ronnie: I don't pretend to be anything else Joe: no, me Ronnie: it comes out of your mouth so easy for me Ronnie: just tell 'em Joe: tell 'em what Joe: I don't wanna see you no more Joe: bye Ronnie: any of the ugly truth will make her not wanna see you no more Ronnie: it don't take much Ronnie: pushed me out of her and right away, like Joe: that wasn't about you, was it Joe: selfish runs in the genes Ronnie: not deep enough when it comes to you Ronnie: you're fucking soft mckenna Ronnie: that your da's fault, yeah? Joe: yeah, you should be the favourite, we both know it but ain't gonna wish it on you Ronnie: nah she should've swallowed or got scraped Ronnie: did the next best though Joe: you want me to say lucky you so you can hate me for being privileged and ignorant Joe: I'll do it for you Ronnie: such a people pleaser Joe: you know it Ronnie: call me when you're ready to shatter your wine glass and put the pieces in your mouth Joe: you dare me? Ronnie: I'm not playing games here Joe: come on Joe: get your paper hat on Ronnie: you want me to get on some old bloke's knee too or is that where the fantasy ends? Joe: not got any grandparents Joe: sorry Ronnie: shame Joe: isn't it just Ronnie: but we don't have to let it die 'cause you're a letdown Ronnie: I know loads of old men Ronnie: some of 'em have gotta still be alive Joe: 🤞 the holiday blues haven't claimed them Ronnie: yeah 'cause you wanna be special Joe: but I am Joe: if I cared about it I'd say no old cunts Ronnie: I'll lick your brains off the wall when you pull the trigger baby, how's that? Joe: Better than Courtney, babe Ronnie: the bar ain't high then Joe: she might've pulled the trigger Joe: don't you want that? Ronnie: you know what I want Joe: you know what I can't give you today Ronnie: yeah and I know that's your fucking fault Joe: didn't ask for jesus to be born Joe: or for me to into this family Ronnie: stop having a tantrum and come back Joe: tomorrow Ronnie: today Joe: didn't drive Joe: what flight am i getting on christmas Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: I can't hack it Ronnie: drop a baby they'll kick you out faster than you can say merry christmas Ronnie: especially if it's one of your brother's Ronnie: gonna have limited brain cells as it is Joe: 😂 Joe: that would require picking one up and nah Joe: nope Ronnie: you've touched worse Joe: I don't know Joe: it's weird Joe: fucked Ronnie: they're just little bags of meat and bone Ronnie: get a fucking grip Joe: says you Joe: you ain't here Ronnie: for me it ain't about nothing but resisting the urge to shake 'em and how I don't reckon I've got that in me Ronnie: one of many negative impulses I fight or don't on the daily like Joe: like you said, be a kindness really Joe: they're all just pretending it's a good thing when it clearly ain't Joe: not got the energy Ronnie: jail ain't gonna be that for me Ronnie: and like I also said you ain't the only selfish prick that bitch spawned Ronnie: they don't know a good thing they ain't tried it Ronnie: shoot 'em up it'll be a decent christmas for everyone Joe: you've not got room for the gang tats Joe: I get it Joe: oddly enough I've not got 💉 on my prescription Ronnie: baby I'm nobody's bitch but 💉 Ronnie: and we're exclusive 💍 Joe: you wish Joe: making do every other time Ronnie: don't fucking remind me Joe: miss those student loans Ronnie: I'm gonna miss being a christmas temp Joe: not just for the lap sitting priviledges Joe: yeah Ronnie: knew you were into it Joe: just miss you Ronnie: don't say shit like that Joe: whatever Ronnie: I mean it, it hurts Joe: I'm sorry Joe: if I could go back and not find you Joe: I know I should Joe: I wouldn't but established Ronnie: fuck you Joe: yeah Joe: I know Ronnie: nah you fucking don't Joe: you reckon Ronnie: I said it Ronnie: you're the cunt saying shit you don't mean Joe: no I'm not Joe: just 'cos you don't need to hear it don't mean it ain't real Joe: it is, that's the issue yeah Ronnie: tell it to your ma Ronnie: well full of it Joe: why would I Joe: not trying to convince you of anything here Joe: it is what it is Joe: however fucked Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: yeah love you and all Ronnie: if you did you wouldn't have left Joe: ever Ronnie: shut up Ronnie: you're not funny mckenna none of you lot are Joe: who's trying to be funny Joe: what do you want from me Ronnie: you're a fucking joke either way babe Joe: make up your mind Joe: glad I amuse you now, apparently Joe: one of us should be having a good time Ronnie: laugh or cry, yeah? Joe: goes something like that Joe: could go full newborn and do a puke shit cry combo Joe: why not Ronnie: if you're rattling hard enough, anything's possible Joe: getting by Joe: making do is never the same as previously lamented but not gonna start convulsing in my plate Ronnie: shame Joe: 💘 Joe: dunno how you reckon on me ruining christmas Joe: sister just became a teen mum Ronnie: it's an od or a run out take your pick baby Ronnie: both have worked for me Ronnie: you say that like its not a badge of honor who wouldnt wanna follow in your ma's footsteps, like Ronnie: if she starts dealing too give her my number Joe: ha, I forgot to tell you Joe: there's one here already Ronnie: if you wanted me there you should have led with that Joe: I know right Joe: no one tells me anything Joe: you'd like him Joe: purely 'cos she hates him Ronnie: you don't tell me anything Ronnie: too late to ruin christmas now Joe: I know you'd be here if you wanted that more than you don't wanna be here Joe: but don't worry, atmosphere is awkward enough regardless Ronnie: could still show up for your brother's big birthday Ronnie: freckles is a no go but he's old enough now to be on the table Ronnie: work my way through by new years, yeah? Joe: hilarious, babe Ronnie: not joking babe Ronnie: fucking the dealer won't make enough of a splash Joe: you do know they know you're related, yeah Joe: even if he weren't gay Ronnie: didn't stop you Ronnie: and being a massive homo ain't ever stopped Charlie Joe: we all do trauma different don't we Ronnie: if you want some therapy for christmas we can roleplay that shit Joe: why would i settle for that when i've got drugs and you Ronnie: saying that ain't gonna make me not hate you Joe: good Joe: hate me Joe: don't be an idiot like everyone else Ronnie: baby brain ain't gonna be a thing over here Ronnie: 💔 Joe: my deepest sympathies Joe: can't say I'm sharing in your 💔 though Ronnie: when have I ever used an emoji meaningfully Ronnie: not a fucking kid Joe: damn Joe: I really thought you meant those 😍 Joe: 💔 Ronnie: fuck off Joe: 😂 Joe: you're cute Ronnie: count how many glasses you've had Joe: is that an OCD joke Joe: you're on 🔥 today girl Ronnie: you wish no lighters at the table baby Joe: Charlie really sticking to those rules hard Joe: how are you gonna light the pudding? Ronnie: afters ain't like that round here Ronnie: 💉💊🚬 Joe: it's minging Ronnie: you love it then, all the pain, like Joe: don't reckon we've actually got one either Joe: how passive-aggressive of them Ronnie: ma keeps bringing the disappointments, yeah? Ronnie: reckon your brother's golden boy now he's sprogged up Joe: I wish Joe: marginally less of a disgrace than Ali Joe: but still Ronnie: your sister is gifting those flashbacks for christmas Joe: Truly Joe: poor kid Ronnie: she should've picked a white lad Ronnie: calm your ma right down Joe: maybe next time Joe: 2nd time's a charm, eh Ronnie: yeah Joe: have you ever been knocked up Ronnie: could probably have got a freebie down the clinic how often I've been down to get rid Ronnie: none of 'em were yours though you can relax Joe: god bless the nhs Ronnie: you ever knocked anyone up? Joe: not to abortion stage Joe: just had to get plan b Joe: as far as I know, anyway Ronnie: cute Joe: thanks 💕 Joe: ours wouldn't be so thank fuck Ronnie: that kinda shit passes for a date for us scousers 💋 Ronnie: you don't want a kid with gills or two heads? Joe: hot Joe: least you could see what was up with it Joe: but 👶💀 Ronnie: can't and won't happen Ronnie: you'd have to fuck your fertile sister Joe: we can pretend that's why I like you Ronnie: you like me 'cause I'll always find a vein for you Ronnie: what else is there Joe: what ain't there Ronnie: 👶🍼 Joe: exactly Joe: one of the main things I look for Ronnie: are you on one knee right now or what? Joe: get you a rock worth having Joe: how's that for a proposal Ronnie: I don't trust it but I'll take it Joe: why not Joe: got that christmas cash Joe: not gonna waste it Ronnie: why would you wanna share with me, selfish prick from your own mouth, like Joe: 'cos getting high together is better Joe: deny it Ronnie: you know I can't Joe: gonna be a white christmas Joe: no need to trust just see Ronnie: when Joe: tomorrow Ronnie: don't fucking lie Joe: I ain't Ronnie: swear Ronnie: swear they ain't gonna guilt you into staying Joe: swear Joe: they ain't gonna even try Ronnie: make sure they let you on that flight Joe: 'course Joe: I'm totally legally medicated rn Ronnie: you're also a pussy Ronnie: bet all the younger siblings have drunk you under the table Joe: you're not wrong that lots of them pride themselves in their light alcoholism Ronnie: whatever gets 'em through the day, yeah? Joe: can't judge really Joe: not with a 💉 sticking out my arm Ronnie: that's tomorrow Ronnie: today anything goes baby Joe: I'll be the one to dish out the home truths Joe: that'd be unexpected Ronnie: someone's gotta your ma will be too busy trying to chuck the babies out Joe: playing hostess with the mostest 'cos can't keep playing the boy when she's got two kids here knocked up Joe: his ma is well smug 😂 Joe: *blaming Ronnie: one of us is having fun then Joe: take the small victories, ms cavante Ronnie: if she's not gonna kick your ma in the tits it'll have to do Joe: wish on a 🌠 baby Ronnie: I've got bad luck or no luck baby Ronnie: that shit don't work Joe: you won't care come tomorrow Ronnie: I don't care now Joe: see? Joe: lucky Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: seriously Joe: my head is Ronnie: I know Ronnie: mine screams too but I go louder Joe: I can't do anything in here Joe: need to go outside and none of those other bastards better take their 🚬 break 'til I'm done Ronnie: if you didn't give so much of a fuck you could do anything Ronnie: that's why I can't show up to your family christmas, you ain't ready mckenna Joe: just shut up alright Joe: let me fucking think Ronnie: you ain't keith richards how many more years of me do you need to stop having such a limp dick Ronnie: every junkie is on borrowed time Joe: you really thought you were gonna fix me Joe: come on now Joe: you're better than that Ronnie: I'm not better than anything Ronnie: lowest of the low baby Joe: then what Ronnie: you want answers from me? you're better than that Joe: no Joe: what the fuck are you doing Joe: you're the one wasting your borrowed time Ronnie: what, you're the only cunt who gets to hide from family christmas? Ronnie: I'm sick and they're sick of me Joe: I don't mean just today and you know it Ronnie: I don't give a fuck what you mean and you know it Joe: it's been years Ronnie: you want out, get out Joe: I don't Joe: but I'm the one with the limp dick Ronnie: yeah Joe: that's what I thought Ronnie: you think too much babe Joe: no shit Joe: don't wanna play therapy, thanks Ronnie: what do you wanna play then? Joe: you're sick, I'm sick Ronnie: no game Ronnie: it's how shit is Joe: fun never stops, babe Ronnie: if your idea of fun is making me wanna top myself, soft lad Joe: you can't Joe: you've gotta lick it up after Ronnie: can't I? race yous Joe: wait 'til I'm there Joe: don't ruin their day any more Ronnie: I'm already waiting for you to decide you wanna come back and be scum of the fucking earth with me again Joe: it ain't a choice to be made or not Joe: it's how shit is Ronnie: you made loads of choices to get there Ronnie: plane rides to dublin don't just happen Joe: basically Ronnie: pathetic Joe: yeah Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: don't agree with me Joe: disagreeing ain't gonna change that I'm here now Ronnie: you don't wanna change it Ronnie: you love it Joe: yep Joe: big time Joe: fucking hell Ronnie: you've got such a misery hard on, you shouldn't be near kids Joe: why don't you hit them up Joe: let them know Ronnie: you're the only cunt with their mummy on speed dial Joe: alright well I ain't up for telling everyone I'm a predator Ronnie: do you wanna fuck her too or what? Joe: do you? Ronnie: nah Ronnie: why I don't come running every time someone in your family blows their nose or whatever the fuck Joe: me either Joe: it's christmas fucking day Joe: how many times Ronnie: like this is the first and only time Ronnie: but I'm crazy, yeah Joe: you are Joe: you're nuts Ronnie: don't forget it Ronnie: I'll be crazier by tomorrow Joe: promises promises Ronnie: I promise I'll ruin your fucking life, prick Joe: oh honey Joe: that's not a brag Joe: not hard is it Ronnie: you ain't talking to fitz baby I don't brag Joe: you can't Ronnie: you think you can tell me what I can and can't do Joe: don't take it personal Joe: try it Ronnie: don't take it personal when I kick the shit out of you mckenna Joe: how can I not when I love it so much Joe: think on Ronnie: 'cause I still love you 😍💋💘 Joe: s'alright baby, the way I wanna go out Joe: 💀💀💀 Ronnie: call me when you've stopped pleasuring your ma, I'll make it happen for you Joe: so understanding all of a sudden Joe: who's got your phone Ronnie: fuck off Joe: there she is Ronnie: what now you miss me? Ronnie: running late there baby Joe: I already told you I did Joe: you said I weren't allowed no more Ronnie: I said don't tell me Ronnie: I can't handle hearing it if it don't change a fucking thing Joe: alright Joe: but it changes a fucking lot Joe: you know Joe: not just for you Joe: I promise I'm really fucked from it Ronnie: yeah? Ronnie: so stop fucking around and come back to me Ronnie: first chance you get Ronnie: 'cause it's shit Joe: I know, I really know Joe: you've got no reason to believe me but you will see me tomorrow Joe: regardless of what any of them have gotta say on it Joe: never wanted to be here so not prolonging it Ronnie: I wanna believe you Ronnie: don't fuck me over twat Joe: I won't Joe: fuck myself over too Joe: time to start being fully selfish prick, yeah Joe: there's enough going on now, don't need me Ronnie: tell the truth that you're threatened by the off their tits 18 year olds that birthday boy will be surrounded by Ronnie: got more game than you Joe: yeah Joe: not the one chatting about fucking the barely legals Joe: but sure Ronnie: you would if they'd give you the time of day mckenna Ronnie: come on Ronnie: one day in dublin turned you into an old dried up nun? Joe: I dunno, I've not scoped out the guestlist that hard Joe: unlike my brother, girls I've known since they were kids don't do it for me, what can I say? Ronnie: blood relatives only like Joe: only when they're you Ronnie: such a lost fucking cause Joe: don't worry, was before you Joe: not gotta add that to the tally Ronnie: our safe word can be trauma bonding Ronnie: loads in common Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you're alright Joe: when you're not a total raging bitch Ronnie: never then Ronnie: what am I when I'm a raging bitch? Joe: for me Ronnie: you sure you don't wanna party with the homos babe? that was proper gay Joe: fuck off Ronnie: write me a symphony next, yeah? Joe: and I'm the gay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: don't get an attitude 'cause I've fucked more lasses than you Joe: still time Joe: not as old as you Ronnie: you wanna make it to that age or what? careful how you talk to me Joe: wow, just like having a nan Joe: cheers babe Ronnie: fuck you Joe: 💘 Ronnie: we all know if you had a nan you'd wanna fuck her too Ronnie: step outside the family baby you might enjoy yourself Joe: doubt it Joe: do have one technically but she ain't all that Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you need the scouse accent to get it up, yeah? Joe: you or the beatles ain't it Ronnie: that was mildly funny calm down Joe: steady on Joe: might think you like me Ronnie: won't last Ronnie: due a mood swing in like 2 seconds Joe: s'alright Joe: all 23 of you love me Ronnie: 😂😍 here 'course Joe: yeah, never trusting your emojis again Joe: need photographic evidence, like Ronnie: [sends it cos that bitch but imagine her actual grumpy cat face bye] Ronnie: in proper stitches, alright Joe: should play poker pro Joe: you're too cute though, never believe that face is 21 or over Ronnie: call me cute again and I'll carve it into your chest Ronnie: capital letters Joe: [sends voice memo] Ronnie: I proper fucking hate you Joe: you knew I'd wanna so you clearly want to as well Joe: don't blame me you sadist Ronnie: you know what I want mckenna Ronnie: we ain't got a secret santa going Joe: take these socks back Ronnie: you'll wanna keep 'em for your misery boner babe Joe: you've not got me an escort then Joe: gutting Ronnie: crazy, remember? you could fuck her but I'd have to kill her Joe: alright, I'll keep your charges at manslaughter level Joe: for you Ronnie: 💋 Joe: when do you next have a shift or are you done fully now Ronnie: tomorrow but that ain't happening if you've meant a word you said Joe: I'll make it worth it Ronnie: not hard to beat out retail when there's sales on Ronnie: wouldn't have gone if you were here or not Joe: don't tell me that Joe: I was talking 💸 not the #experience Ronnie: you wanna be my daddy too now? these roleplays are getting hard to keep count of Joe: again, thinking how much gear I'm gonna get but you can pout about it if you wanna Joe: already earned the scars so I don't mind saying it again Ronnie: rain man ain't a fantasy, gutted for you, like Ronnie: doing my best here Joe: you do it well Joe: smarter than everyone I know Ronnie: the princess will be gutted Joe: you don't have to tell her, like Joe: but not too fussed Ronnie: no secrets among scumbags baby Ronnie: even if she reckons she's levelled up Joe: you don't? Ronnie: anyone can drop a sprog Ronnie: trap a lad Ronnie: didn't saint your ma, did it? Joe: nah Joe: just don't reckon she was ever really one of us Joe: surprised if you do Ronnie: she wouldn't fight it so hard if she weren't Joe: I dunno Ronnie: I do, seen it loads Ronnie: gutters such a good fit it scares her shitless so she's gotta cling to that poor cunt Ronnie: he's her life raft through the shit Joe: hardly dragging him down though, is she Joe: not gonna be complaining any time soon, I've seen a lifetime of that Ronnie: everybody needs a fix that's theirs Joe: guess so Joe: no sign of getting over it any time soon Ronnie: I'm more likely to get clean before she does of him and I've got a nosebleed from all the shit B's ground up to stop me puking up Charlie's christmas feast Ronnie: sent my boss a pic though so it ain't all 💔 Joe: ☁ Joe: so glass half-full you, baby Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: can't be trusted with an empty one Joe: why are you the only one who talks any sense Joe: least all they're chatting is just waves now Ronnie: I pay attention Ronnie: you'd have broke your rules and 💘 me as a kid babe Joe: yeah? Joe: charlie's told me stories but never fully know what's bullshit or at the least exaggeration with him Ronnie: a solid 85% at least Ronnie: I was fucking feral though he's got that coined right Ronnie: you think I'm crazy now this shit's nothing Joe: I should've known you Ronnie: everyone who touched me back then has got a bite mark out of them Ronnie: you wouldn't have made it Joe: nah Joe: shit was different then Joe: so was I Ronnie: still gonna have been too soft whenever Joe: not the point though is it Joe: she should've got bitten Ronnie: she should've done loads of things Ronnie: she didn't Joe: I know Joe: fucked Ronnie: you won't give a shit tomorrow Joe: well Joe: be too numb to chat about it and think about it Joe: good as Ronnie: deal with it til then Joe: 🤐 got it Ronnie: unless you wanna bite your ma yourself like Ronnie: whatever gets you off Joe: you too Ronnie: cheers Ronnie: swallowing too much blood to fit in a dick but I'll try again later Joe: are you alright? Joe: where are the lads Ronnie: don't cry Ronnie: they're enjoying the show Ronnie: it ain't christmas til someone bleeds, pukes or pisses themselves Ronnie: can't give 'em the other two I ain't a pussy 💔 Joe: adorable, some would say Joe: is it really so much to ask that they keep you alive 'til I'm back Ronnie: relax I've had heavier periods Ronnie: you'll have to kill me yourself Joe: be fun trying Joe: challenge accepted Ronnie: hot Joe: don't forget it Ronnie: not gonna black out this shit ain't working that hard Joe: good Joe: call me needy all you want just don't go Ronnie: if I wanted to take the piss I could better than that Joe: not that gone either Ronnie: what are you on? Ronnie: 🍾 Joe: and my meds Joe: managed to get some extra 'cos I'm terrified of flying, obvs Ronnie: you're the one who's gonna die before you get here Ronnie: basically sober Ronnie: baby that's fucked Joe: I know Joe: options are limited Joe: not like I can go in on whatever anyone else is having when one lot is off the coke and the others are off the psychedelics Joe: fucking babies Ronnie: I mean, you could suck on the princess' tits but that ain't gonna give you what you really need Ronnie: talk to the dealer at your table, he's a baby too but he'll be holding something Joe: she's not got 3 Joe: and shut up Joe: though the latter isn't a terrible idea Joe: like you said, not gonna have anything good enough but Ronnie: I know, she weren't fully clothed for the 3way Joe: what part of shut up don't you get Ronnie: make me bitch Joe: such a twat you Ronnie: stop being a little fucking girl Joe: stop chatting about bullshit for a reaction Ronnie: you wanted me to stay Joe: yeah Joe: don't need to talk about that Ronnie: what then Ronnie: how much you love me Joe: anything but that Joe: literally Ronnie: I've plugged the 🩸 you can dry your eyes Joe: good Joe: don't be wasting it on something so lame Ronnie: you reckon that's lame I'm gonna have to eat the 💊 like it's the fucking 90s Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: very retro Joe: see what throwbacks I can get from this kid too Joe: be a party Ronnie: get your brother some poppers for his birthday Joe: probably be appreciated Joe: hence I won't Joe: chuck the obligatory tenner his way Ronnie: 🌈🙌 Joe: 😬 Ronnie: such a prude joseph Joe: you didn't have to live with them/partially raise them Joe: not something I wanna think about and they insist on making me constantly, pretty much Ronnie: didn't get to, you mean Ronnie: we're all 💔 babe Joe: you can revel in how much of a blessing it is on that score with your commiseration toast Ronnie: yeah Joe: yeah Ronnie: now we're finishing each other sentences 💘😍 Joe: christ 😂 Joe: oh Joe: you know uni sophie is engaged now Joe: wanna go if they make it down the aisle? Ronnie: I really fucking do Ronnie: did I miss her engagement party? Joe: dunno actually Joe: I'll actually ask next time she tries to talk Joe: bet she's missed you almost as much as me Ronnie: ask her now she'll have wished you merry christmas Joe: how'd you know? Joe: hacked my accounts Joe: hot Ronnie: I could but don't need to Ronnie: a 💍 don't mean she ain't still 😍💘 for you mckenna Joe: still only human, after-all Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: awh come on Joe: you know you wanna see 'em all in their festive jumpers Joe: [sends post] Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: she one of your plan b girls like, she's got fat enough that you might wanna check she swallowed it Joe: ugh no Joe: any plan b baby of mine would be toddling by now Ronnie: reassuring Joe: if you want 99% on that front I'll sweep the old friends list Joe: make sure they've got no offspring with the 👂s Ronnie: you reckon I haven't Ronnie: living with such a computer whizz Joe: true Joe: his talents are probably better spent getting free netflix Ronnie: way ahead of you Joe: boxsets are what the season is really about Ronnie: gutted you ain't here, yeah? Joe: yeah Ronnie: you'll be back in time for the finale where the korean robots stop fighting to the death long enough to save the world or whatever the fuck Joe: 😂 Joe: can't wait Ronnie: 'course not Ronnie: edge of your seat shit Joe: do you ever think about going back Joe: to liverpool Ronnie: for what? Ronnie: am I losing the accent? 💔 Joe: not as bad as I have Joe: I dunno Ronnie: no fucker there I wanna see Ronnie: you'll have to do the mckenna childhood ghost tour on your own Joe: come on Joe: gear must be good Joe: fuss they made about it Ronnie: it's decent here Ronnie: take another swing babe Joe: cheaper there Joe: everything, like Ronnie: you know how to get freebies Joe: fine Ronnie: I'm not gonna play house with you in that shithole, shut the fuck up Joe: I said fine Joe: jesus Ronnie: couldn't hear it through your tears like Joe: piss off Joe: it ain't about you Ronnie: you asked me if I wanted to go back Ronnie: I ain't stopping you Joe: can't anyway Joe: doubt their orchestra pays as well Joe: assuming there is one Ronnie: if everything's cheaper they don't need to Joe: whatever Joe: be a stupid thing to do regardless Ronnie: and you never do anything stupid, yeah? Joe: it's the one area of my life I don't Joe: yeah Ronnie: don't be a prick Ronnie: you know you could join the philharmonic Joe: I ain't going Joe: forget about it Ronnie: fine Joe: funny Ronnie: feels like shit don't it, getting one back Ronnie: just 'cause you're surrounded by sprongs don't mean you can't use your words Joe: you don't wanna go, there's nowt else to say Ronnie: it ain't about me Ronnie: you forgot you just said that already? Joe: doesn't mean I wanna go without you Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: you can find another girl to shoot you up babe Joe: if you're gonna chat shit don't bother Joe: I love you Ronnie: give yourself a gift and hate me Joe: If I could, it'd have been on sight Joe: it's not like you charmed your way into my 💘 Ronnie: nah I injected myself into your veins Joe: don't give away your secrets Ronnie: not to shit on your christmas but it's only a secret for that lot where you are Joe: worst kept Ronnie: why keep it then? Joe: why announce it? Ronnie: you reckon she should get bitten, that'd do it Joe: 🥂 gather round fam Joe: they'd not believe it Joe: find a way to laugh it off, ignore the obvious Ronnie: roll up your sleeve, they can't fucking ignore that Joe: I'm pissing off mid-festivities Joe: that'll do it Ronnie: pussy Joe: what's it matter to you Ronnie: fuck you Joe: I mean it Joe: I'm coming back Ronnie: and that's all I give a shit about, yeah? Joe: obviously not Joe: but it makes no odds to you if I ruin their lives or not Ronnie: you're a cunt Joe: yeah Joe: but why specifically Ronnie: why the fuck do you think Joe: you want me to pick you Joe: to burn it all to the ground for them Joe: it ain't enough all the ways I've already done both Ronnie: you want me to be happy that you've had your cake and ate it Ronnie: nah, I hope you fucking choke baby Joe: I'll try my best Joe: I can't go back and make her keep you, there's shit I can do Ronnie: I don't want her, I want you Joe: it's been four fucking years Joe: you have me Joe: fucking Joe: I'd die without you Joe: I could get clean before I could leave you Ronnie: you did leave Joe: okay Joe: I did Joe: I left Ronnie: and they want you to stay Ronnie: these pricks want the princess here over me Joe: baby Joe: they want you Joe: they just need a chance to miss you, it's all it is Joe: we can go somewhere Joe: anywhere Ronnie: I'm fucking off to yours Ronnie: after that wherever Joe: I promise Joe: wherever you wanna Joe: and for how long Ronnie: wherever you want Ronnie: I don't give a shit Joe: it don't matter Joe: I just need to see you Ronnie: yeah Joe: you know I want you don't you Ronnie: show me when you drag your arse back here Joe: of course Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: it's like walking through a ghost town, you'd have such a boner if you were here Joe: shame Joe: is the cat there Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: singing carols for me Joe: she's talented Ronnie: shame I ain't a pushy stage ma Joe: why live vicariously when you can be a double-act babe Ronnie: you're not funny mckenna Joe: s'okay Joe: won't insist on being the warm-up Joe: not that kinda dad Ronnie: you need the practice though Joe: have to write my set on the plane Joe: impress you Ronnie: give you something to do besides cry and touch yourself Joe: not flying first Joe: or business even Joe: no blanket, no tissues Joe: 😿 Ronnie: poor baby Joe: I know Joe: tragedy Ronnie: I'm not doing the dance moves, like Ronnie: keep dreaming Joe: 💔 Joe: send me a video of your duet at least then Ronnie: [imagine that sassy cat please] Joe: I miss her Joe: shame she'd probably gouge our eyes out if we tried to take her with Ronnie: so will I but that ain't ever turned you off Joe: no one's going to ring RSPCA if they see me kidnapping you Ronnie: childline maybe Ronnie: I ain't forgot you said I had a fucking 👶 face you twat Joe: 😂 Joe: true Joe: but I'm banking on you being that offended you'll sort 'em out, like Ronnie: and you Joe: 💘 Joe: banking on that too Ronnie: 🖕💋 Ronnie: brb calling Briggs for a full face tat before you show up Joe: if you don't wanna kiss that bad, just say Ronnie: shut up Joe: so what's it to be Joe: spiders web Joe: skull Ronnie: see what the genius comes up with Joe: I look forward to the big reveal Ronnie: what time's your flight? Joe: [some ungodly AM 'cos xmas madness] Ronnie: fuck Joe: don't worry Joe: won't wake you Ronnie: all these pills will probably keep me up Ronnie: fuck knows Joe: n'awh, you wanna wait up for me Joe: how sweet 😏 Ronnie: kill yourself Ronnie: you've got more of my attention than korean death robots, calm down Ronnie: it's not a brag babe Joe: isn't it Joe: it's pretty epic if Bronson's livetweets are anything to go by Ronnie: it's the pills talking Joe: 😂 Joe: never have that affect on you 💔 Ronnie: deal with it Ronnie: I ain't gonna clean your flat, like Joe: probably enabling that, if you think about it Joe: so caring, babe Ronnie: how late did you leave packing there's shit everywhere Joe: I didn't Joe: only needed what I've got on Joe: got their presents in town Joe: easy Ronnie: you fucking knew you were gonna come straight back and still wanted me to beg Ronnie: maybe you ain't as soft as you were Joe: wanted makes it sound like I planned any part of it Joe: I knew I was coming back 'cos today was all I could stand Joe: being here, not being there Ronnie: don't ruin the fantasy Joe: poor baby Ronnie: yeah I am Ronnie: climbing the fucking walls here Joe: you or sid Ronnie: me and her Joe: babies Joe: what can I do Joe: need something to do Ronnie: do me Joe: alright Joe: call me Ronnie: [obviously does so we can end it there]

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geminidarksidehasawoken · 5 years

Text

Unbreak Me

Standstill

Thank you all for reading! I appreciate the feedback... Thanks

@fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @iplaydrake @drakesensworld @carabeth @sashatrr @blznbaby @debbw88 @hopefulmoonobject

And a special shout out to @ao719 for helping me navigate Tumblr! Also for your support, thanks a mill.

Standstill:

It's been weeks, I can hear Hana and Drake's hushed voices trying not to wake... But I'm wide awake I can't sleep, can't sleep a wink, yet I've locked myself in my room because it's too hard to do anything else, expect work and pretend to sleep.

I curl on my side, tears leaking from my eyes so I just want to be alone, but they won't leave they've appointed themselves my caretakers and God knows if I was in my right mind, as clearly I am not I'd feel happy for their help. The bed edge dips and I can tell its Hana, she smells like rose petals and sunshine and it makes me want to puke. She stays silent by my side laying with me saying nothing, and I grip onto that bit of hope, that even though the man I'd hope to spend forever with broke me, Hana who I hated and loved was by my side.

I stand in the shower and Hana stands at the door, saying nothing, I've been feeling weak lately maybe I was gonna die from the pain, maybe life would be that kind to me. "Come, Drake is making soup and crackers, you need to eat" she whispers, drying my hair after l'd found about robe. She pampers me, and I feel weak, too weak to protest so I allow her, but inside I'm dying trying to find the independent woman I once was, but maybe I felt her when I left because I can no longer find me and that, that terrifies me. Would I spend my days pining for a man I couldn't have? Maybe? Because I couldn't imagine a life without him. Shaking off the feeling I walk with her my feet feeling like led, as we made it to the sitting room. My heart stops and the little fragments that are left of me frazzle into nothingness as I see him and her, smile blindly at the camera.

"The Queen and I had a wonderful honeymoon, we are committed to our service to each and every citizen..." My eyes sting and my vision blurs, white spots dancing behind my rapidly closing eyelids. My knees buckle and connect with the ceramic tile, then everything goes black.

I've got the mother of all headaches, I try to shield my face from the blinding light, hoping to burrow back into the darkness. It's loud and people are speaking frantically and I dread opening my eyes. "She's coming around"

A face of a woman I've never see before looms into view. "I'm doctor Ross, how do you feel?"

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. She smiles at me her green eyes kind and soft. "You gave your friends quite the scare, but you and the little one are just okay, we will be keeping you for observation and ensure that you are able to eat and keep solids down before you are released.

My fuzzy head tries to process her words, but I can't seem to keep my eyes open and I drift off to sleep.

*Liam*

The sofa in my office has become accustomed to me sleeping here until the wee hours of the morning when I was sure Madeline was a sleep before heading to our shared quarters. It's not that she was an awful woman, she was in fact quite lovely, she was beautiful, and cunning, had I never met a certain someone then maybe we would have had a chance.

My train of thoughts are interrupted as Bastien announces that I have a visitor, I nod, bracing myself for whatever was to come, I dreaded it being Maxwell or Bertrand, they have made no secret that I was not their favorite person. "Hey, I thought you would be still making love to your wife instead of buried under a mountain of paper work" the beautiful redhead with green eyes belonging to my friend Olivia teases.

"Hey Liv" I say genuinely happy to see her I pull her into a hug and she kisses my cheek.

"What brings you by?" I ask sitting with her on the sofa.

She's looking everywhere but me, "You've lost weight, I'm worried about you" that's Olivia cutting straight to the point.

I'm not sure what to say, so I say nothing. "Li, I know its hard, but you can't keep doing this to yourself, this was the choice you made and you have to live with it."

Fury burns and snaps within me and I can't sit still so I pace, but I don't get far, she grips me by my shoulder and she's surprisingly strong, and turns me to face her.

"I know you miss her, hell I miss her and I didn't like her, but it's time to move forward."

Something finally breaks and everything that I've been holding back floods. "No, you don't know, I hurt the woman I love, I'm trapped in a marriage that there is no love, and my best friend isn't here, Liv, I-"

She pulls me into her and I sag against her small frame, hot tears spill from onto my cheeks and I hold her for dear life.

We are wrapped in that embrace until we are both all cried out.

"All right, so I hate to say this Li, but you need to decide, are you going to be a mere man pining after the woman he loves or are you going to step up and be the king we deserve?"

Her words were harsh, but it was what I needed to hear. It was the cold hard truth, I wasn't just a man I was a king with a kingdom to lead. We sit in silence for awhile then finally she sighs and stands to leave.

"Hey, I promise it gets easier" she says a remorseful look in her eyes but there is a conviction in her voice.

"How do you know?" I can't help but ask.

"I was once deeply in love with you" she whispers sadly, kissing my cheek and heading for the door.

On reflex, I grab her and she staggers back into me.

She lets out a frustrated breath.

"I was in love with you, but what I felt for you was nothing compared to what you shared with her, she was your soulmate"

I open my mouth to ask questions.

"Do you remember when I kissed you?"

I nod, as words failed me.

"I felt nothing no passion, because you heart had already belonged to another" she whispered kissing my cheek and leaving me there.

I enter my quarters, and Madeline is silently crying, as I enter she tries to compose herself, but it's too late. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" she responds and her voice is calm and hadn't I seen the tear tracks I wouldn't know.

"Madeline, don't make me ask again"

"I'm not one to admit defeat, but I'm not sure I can do this"

"This?"

"I understood your feelings for Riley, but to have you carry on with Olivia, that is too much, I've got my pride"

I'm confused, what the hell was happening here?

"Olivia?"

"Liam, don't insult me. I saw you and her tonight"

Realization hits, she was jealous, maybe she wasn't so cold and frigid after all.

1 Year ago

It was a bold move rushing after her, she had been crown queen of the day and Madeline couldn't let her have this one, she had to chose that moment to kiss me. I found her on the swing, she looked so small and defeated, I'd never really thought of the effect this was having on her. "Hey you didn't leave glass slipper for me to find" I say, hoping to get a chuckle out of her. But she only glares at me.

"Why are you here?" She asks clearly annoyed with my presence.

"I wanted to see how you were doing" I say honestly

"I'm fine, I'm always fine, now leave me alone before I start another scandal"

Not caring in that moment, I lift her chin.

"I know this is rough, and I'm sorry about Madeline, but know that I love you" she drops her head to my shoulder and pulls me between her leg for her hug.

"I love you too, now go back before you are missed" she says but she doesn't release me and I don't want to leave her. Cupping her cheeks I kiss her soundly, but one never is enough for either of us, our clothes become a heap on the ground and I am only content when I slide into her, she warm and always ready for me, and I love it. She straddles me, her nails carving into me, I swear I'll have scars as she rides out her pleasure, and I'm not far behind.

"What are you doing to me" I ask shakily as I hold her while we return to earth.

"You need to go" she kisses me and quickly hands me my clothes

I dress as quickly as I can, but I can't help but steal another kiss before returning to the people.

#choices trr #trr liam

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