#let's not be afraid etc. sometimest things are just very funny

[museenkuss]

I hope you don't mind me asking...but do I feel less guilt/judgement about liking things in media that are 'dark' or not 'morally correct'. I want to let go and just have fun and not worry so much, but it feels really hard these days (especially with fandom). People who are very hardcore about morals or "purists" scare me a lot. There are people out there who will ruin other people's lives (doxxing people!) because they don't like the way they engage with works or famdom, and especially with darker material. This rise of moral police have me afraid of engaging with fandom at all these days (especially the constant war between the pros and antis. Why are there even labels for this...). I hate being labeled an awful or corrupt person simply because I like 'wrong' or 'gross' things that aren't even real. I know who I actually am and hearing people who don't know me decide that I'm scumbag who is on par with actually evil people hurts...

Its not real guys, its fiction. Why all this hostility?

I suppose what I am asking is how to let go and let live? I miss engaging with fandom. I miss the fun of messing around with fiction in any way. I want to be ok with the judgement and still have fun. I want to enjoy fandom again with worrying if I am being 'morally' enough for these people. Any advice?

Darling, I know exactly what you mean. I used to have a lot more fun with fandom and writing in general before coming in contact with those types of people, too. It’s really sad imo, but I've also decided to actively work against internalising the hateful atmosphere those groups cultivate

Firstly, what might help is making a sideblog. Separate it from your main, don't link it on main etc and just treat it as your personal corner. It helps with the fear of being attacked - especially if you get personal on main and fear that random weirdos will get nasty on there. It also helps because if you're active, you WILL find likeminded people and they will find you, so you can build your community and have fun in this secluded and safe environment.

Apart from that, what I try to keep in mind is that, as you said, it's fiction. You're not an immoral person for being intrigued by thoughts and concepts - that's the most important part. You said it yourself: You know yourself, they don't know you. Them attacking you has very little weight if all they base it on is "you enjoy trope x, therefore you're bad". In fact, it's plain laughable at times. The puritanism of it all. Of course there are very interesting and nuanced conversations to be had ("Can you enjoy Balthus art?" being a non-fandom example that intrigues me, for one), but I find it very difficult to have this kind of conversation with people who say that liking Hannigram is problematic because they have an age gap. And frankly, I don't see the point of trying to constantly have nuanced discussions about what I do and don't find intriguing about "problematic ships" with people who've made their mind up that fiction = reality = morality.

- But I also have to say that to me personally, aggressively taking the counter stance is draining as well. There are people that get very vicious and venemous towards the purity people (making fun of them, belittling them, writing essays in their bios about fiction and reality etc), but I distance myself from those as well. "Why all this hostility?" extends to this side as well, I think. I'd rather just ignore that whole mess and do my own thing in my corner.

So, in short, I get where you're coming from and I'm afraid as well, which sucks. So my recipe for enjoying ~problematic content~ is: I keep to myself, I create and interact for and with people who enjoy the same things I enjoy and I don't take myself or the counter side too seriously.

I really hope this helped in some way and I hope you can find your joy in engaging in a fun hobby again, unafraid of weird bullies on the internet 🌹