#let's get my long dany rants going shall we

[daecaerys]

beware that this post constaints sensitive content (!)

discussing mereen, astapor and yunkai and the plot threads of book V, not including her marriage to HIZDAHR and how awfully wrong it was portrayed in the show:

the  book  makes  some  things  quite  clear  about  the  slave  masters:  first,  is  that  there  is  no  distinction  between  the  ‘guilty’  and  the  ‘innocent’  in  a  systematic  system  of  slavery,  and  that  is  proved  by  how  the  noble  in  special  react  to  the  fall  of  said  system.  second,  that  dany  personally  hears  and  asks  the  families  to  deliver  the  responsible  for  crucifying  the  children  outside  of  the  city  and  that  it  did  not  happen  arbitrarily.    she  did  not  need  anyone  to  make  her  question  that  decision,  though,  and  did  so  herself,  coming  with  the  conclusion  that  it  was  time  the  take  the  bodies  out  of  disposal  too  and  constantly  reminding  herself  of  why  she  is  doing  it  to  begin  with  (her  terrible  decisions,  or  as  we  can  put  out,  her  acts  of  extreme  violence,  often  come  for  a  reasoning  that  leaves  her  worried  about  her  own  morals  and  the  perception  some  might  have  of  her  considering  her  family  but  as  she  often  does,  she  comes  to  the  conclusion  it  is  necessary  to  shown  straight  against  oppressors  —  though  i  believe,  personally,  that  she  shows  more  restraint  than  not  and  that  it  is  something  which  will  change  in  the  next  book  as  seen  by  her  admission  to  fire  and  blood  by  the  end  of  ADWD).  

dany  first  preoccupation  is  restoring  peace  in  mereen,  yet  the  nobles  murder  the  former  slaves  as  punishment  against  her  new  regime,  something  that  is  never  discussed  or  brought  up  in  the  show.  much  of  her  decisions  about  mereen  come  from  her  advisors  instead  of  herself,  so  we  don’t  get  a  glimpse  of  her  politics,  or  how  she  uses  religion  as  a  political  coin  to  ensure  the  rumors  about  her  dragons  are  true ( something to be discussed in another meta).

Every  morn  the  sun  rose  upon  fresh  corpses,  with  harpies  drawn  in  blood  on  the  bricks  beside  them.  Any  freedman  who  became  too  prosperous  or  too  outspoken  was  marked  for  death.  (ADWD  Daenerys  II)

These  Meereenese  were  a  sly  and  stubborn  people  who  resisted  her  at  every  turn.  They  had  freed  their  slaves,  yes  …  only  to  hire  them  back  as  servants  at  wages  so  meagre  that  most  could  scarce  afford  to  eat.  Those  too  old  or  young  to  be  of  use  had  been  cast  into  the  streets,  along  with  the  infirm  and  the  crippled.  And  still  the  Great  Masters  gathered  atop  their  lofty  pyramids  to  complain  of  how  the  dragon  queen  had  filled  their  noble  city  with  hordes  of  unwashed  beggars,  thieves,  and  whores.  (ADWD  Daenerys  I)

still,  though  her  actions  were  violent  they  did  little  result  in  solving  the  biggest  issue  in  the  slave  bay.  and  that’s  what  makes  her  even  more  stubborn  to  make  it  work  by  marrying  without  love,  yet  again,  and  constantly  sacrificing  her  views  in  trying  to  end  slavery  in  a  way  that’s  non  violent ( such as allowing hizdahr to make an agreement with yunkai and astapor, returning ''commerce'' in the city ).  but  what  does  the  universe  itself  say  about  her  crucifying  the  masters?  is  it  too  much,  a  sign  of  her  cruelty  and  tyranny?  well,  not  really.  there  are  rumors  about  those  that  speak  against  her  being  killed  violently  yet  that’s  not  true  because  it  is  established  that  collective  punishment  is  considered  fair  in  mereen,  as  show  by  the  children  themselves.  and  she  did  not  do  it  out  of  bloodthirst,  but  revenge, which she tries to justify ( of course, it is up to the reader wether the violence was justified but, in sum, it was an act made out with hurry and anger):

She  had  them  nailed  to  wooden  posts  around  the  plaza,  each  man  pointing  at  the  next.  The  anger  was  fierce  and  hot  inside  her  when  she  gave  the  command;  it  made  her  feel  like  an  avenging  dragon.  But  later,  when  she  passed  the  men  dying  on  the  posts,  when  she  heard  their  moans  and  smelled  their  bowels  and  blood  ...

Dany  put  the  glass  aside,  frowning.  It  was  just.  It  was.  I  did  it  for  the  children.

and  it  was  not  an  isolate  act,  but  an  alignment  to  her  bigger  goal,  ending  slavery:

The  cedars  that  had  once  grown  tall  along  the  coast  grew  no  more,  felled  by  the  axes  of  the  Old  Empire  or  consumed  by  dragonfire  when  Ghis  made  war  against  Valyria.  Once  the  trees  had  gone,  the  soil  baked  beneath  the  hot  sun  and  blew  away  in  thick  red  clouds.  “It  was  these  calamities  that  transformed  my  people  into  slavers,”  Galazza  Galare  had  told  her,  at  the  Temple  of  the  Graces.  And  I  am  the  calamity  that  will  change  these  slavers  back  into  people,  Dany  had  sworn  to  herself.  (ADWD  Daenerys  III)

which  is  supported  by  her  actions  towards  the  former  masters  as  they  continue  to  commit  crimes,  act  against  her  people  (though  she  considers  them  her  people  too  in  an  attempt  of  union)  and  constantly  try  to  bring  slavery  back:

“Kill  them  all  and  take  their  treasures,  I  say.  Whisper  the  command,  and  your  Daario  will  make  you  a  pile  of  their  heads  taller  than  this  pyramid.” “If  I  knew  who  they  were—” "Zhak  and  Pahl  and  Merreq.  Them,  and  all  the  rest.  The  Great  Masters.  Who  else  would  it  be?" He  is  as  bold  as  he  is  bloody.  “We  have  no  proof  this  is  their  work.  Would  you  have  me  slaughter  my  own  subjects?”  (ADWD  Daenerys  IV)

first  and  foremost,  daenerys'  crucifixion  of  the  masters  was  a  powerful  message  sent  to  the  slavers  who  had  oppressed  the  people  of  meereen  for  generations.  it  was  a  demonstration  of  her  resolve  to  break  the  chains  that  bound  so  many  innocent  lives  and  a  stark  warning  that  the  days  of  unchecked  cruelty  were  over.  by  taking  such  decisive  action,  she  not  only  sought  retribution  for  the  countless  lives  lost  under  their  rule  but  also  aimed  to  create  a  climate  of  fear  among  those  who  profited  from  the  slave  trade.  though, perhaps, it wasn't so calculated as one would think.

if  her  goal  was  to  rule  through  cruelty  and  oppression,  she  could  have  continued  her  campaign  without  attempting  to  negotiate  with  the  masters  or  exploring  non-violent  solutions.  instead,  she  chose  to  engage  in  diplomacy,  offering  compromises  and  seeking  peaceful  resolutions  through  marriage  alliances  and  other  means.  this  approach  demonstrates  her  willingness  to  avoid  unnecessary  bloodshed  and  her  desire  to  create  a  just  society.

[sunsetstarving]

hi!!!!! long time no.. encounter :)

next quarter may be fucking myself over by doing an eight am but its for global horror (texts) so liiike

also puh-leeaaasse rant to me. i’ll use it as motivation to do my reading

HI!! as we know the entire response to this got deleted and i am. deeply disappointed i should have just left it open fuck tumblr. i also am doing an 8am but it is for CALC II because i didn't have TIME ANYWHERE ELSE 😔😔😔 and semester style instead of quarters so it's the entirety of fall semester rip. i am wishing you the best of luck with yours though that honestly sounds so fun??

and UHHH MAN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RECALL WHAT I WAS SAYING. i'm gonna paraphrase but you also didn't know what i was going to say so it Works. i shall not be talking about the ocs i originally was thinking about bc i am now organizing the lore and if i have to talk about it before it's ready i will lost it BUT! i have magical girls lore i have been meaning to tell u about!!

currently i am deliberating over whether or not to make dani and nefise a romantic thing or just queerplatonic because on the one hand romance is just simpler (pinterest refs abound) but on the OTHER hand they're sooo fucked up at one point and it would be so much fun for them to be platonic specifically for that part + i'm losing my touch w writing full romantic chemistry and am scared to fuck it up so in a sense a qpr would be the easier one.... we'll see lmao

also dani is now bigender (queer projection time but also! this fits i think) and kora and nefise are close friends due to the irony of kora having had the worst friends before them and nefise being the best friend ever to everyone all the time (side note: surely this will not end in disaster)--kora knowing nefise inside and out because ze WAS that friend once, the one who would do anything for anyone if they showed even an ounce of care about her, and nefise being honest with kora about where they are in their friendship and how bad zir friends sucked! they are the designated Cool Friends of the group with a level of care they maintain in spite of everything they were ever given

anyway kora the everything that she is.. don't you ever go from being the least important person in your friend group to the glue that sticks everyone together in approximately a week and suddenly u are showered with love and affection and understanding....

ALSO re: fucked up parts, dani and nefise go through this point during/after the masque arc where they become deeply and horrifically codependent due to the cult-like structure of the masque's leadership and domain which nefise was like, JUST ripped away from, and now they have to Act Normal and Be Herself again?? there is something in you that breaks in that kind of environment and it's like a bone, right, if you set it correctly and you let yourself rest it'll heal, but if you don't set it right u set yourself up for more pain in the future. dani and nefise at this time are the incorrectly set bone 👍 i have been thinking about this for the past week 👍

nefise also gets a haircut after this as part of her recovery! like they already had one but this one is cooler obviously. don't tell tater i am blasting them with the mullet beam

but yeah this is the lore update many months later! my kids be upon ye i hope you enjoy the brainrot

[hikarimiyanaga]

I loved your Marvel x Resident Evil Village crossover

Thank you! It was so much fun to write!

And since even @theuselesslezbian wanted a part 2.

Here you go!

After your phone call with Tony. You fell asleep with a lighter heart. The constant fear that you would get transported out of this world and back to your old one, gone like the wind.

You wake up and hum as sunlight comes through your window. You smile at your phone then get off your bed. You stretch your body before changing your clothes. Ones that you bought from the Duke weeks ago. You go downstairs and see that Donna is already preparing breakfast.

"Good morning, Donna." You greet and she turns to you.

"Good morning, Y/N." You nod then clear your throat.

"Donna, I have-"

"That can wait till later." She gives you a tray and you look down on it. "Breakfast first." You follow her and look around.

"Where's Angie?" Donna hums.

"Playing with the other dolls."

"Oh. That's nice." Donna nods then sits. You place the tray on the table. You sit across her and begin taking the plates off the tray. You and Donna begin eating in silence. She seems so relaxed while you were tense. Donna finished first and she was waiting for you.

"I-"

"You-" You clear your throat.

"If you don't mind it. Please let me stay!" You bow your head so much that it hit the table with a thud. It hurts but you endure through it. "My friend who teleported me said that I could stay and well I-" you blush and look at her. "I have to be honest if you don't mind."

"I don't mind."

"I actually like you! Like really like you! And I... I would like to stay here if you don't mind." When you don't get an answer for the next few seconds. You begin to panic. "If you do mind, of course I can leave!"

'Shit was that what she was going to tell me??? Fuck! And I interrupted her! Damn it! Kill me right now!' Just then Donna cries and you panic even more.

"D-Donna!? What's wrong? Do you-"

"I was actually going to convince you." She wipes her tears and you calm down.

"To what?"

"To stay here with me." She smiles and you felt your heart skip. "When I'm with you, I just feel happy and safe. Like I could do anything." She blushes and you suppress the urge to squeal nor hug her. "So I wanted you to stay."

"Do-Does that mean? Do you like me too?" She blushes even more then uses her hands to cover her face.

"Yes. I do." You sit right next to her then hug her.

"Then yes. I'll stay."

"Finally! It just took you fucking forever!" Both you and Donna turn and see Angie... With most of the dolls. They were all watching and both you and Donna blush. "We've been waiting for days!" You groan then hide your face on Donna's shoulder.

"I hate and love Angie at the same time." Donna giggles as she rubs your back.

-

You're with Angie as Donna tasked the both of you to buy some stuff from the village.

You were just looking at something when all of your instincts just screamed at you. You turn to a direction and gulp. There was... A giant lady. Angie squeals then gets off your back.

"Alcina! Long time no see! Where's Bela, Cass and Dani!?" The tall woman, Alcina, it seems, picks Angie up carefully then chuckles.

"They're resting today, dear. They just finished hunting yesterday you see."

"Oh! Then can we come visit them today!? Or tomorrow!? They can finally meet Y/N!"

"Y/N? And who may that be?" You clear your throat and they both turn to you.

"That'll be me... Erm... Lady..."

"Dimitrescu, dear. At least you know proper titles." You chuckle.

"Donna kinda warned me about that. Nice to make your acquaintance."

"You as well. Then shall we expect the three of you tomorrow?" Angie nods eagerly then jumps to you. You thankfully manage to catch her.

"We'll definitely go!"

"Then we shall get to know each other, Y/N." You nod.

"See you tomorrow."

-

You gulp as you look at the looming castle. You didn't even know that it existed?? How the fuck did you miss this??

'Oh... Right. I was too busy admiring Donna.'

"Let's go! Let's go!" You and Donna look at each other then laugh.

"You're too excited for this, Angie."

"Oh shut up! It's been too long since I played with Dani! Also Cass is very fast! And Bela is gentle with me! I like them!"

"Does that mean that you don't like me?"

"I do, idiot! You play with me! You act like you're not but you're really fast! And you're gentle with Donna! I like you for her!" By the time her rant was over, you were blushing and hiding your face. Donna giggles as you all continue the hike to the castle.

"Isn't this a little big though? Although to be fair, Lady Dimitrescu is a tall person."

"Yeah! But it's okay! The mazes are fun! And the library is so cozy!"

"Oh, nice! A library. I already read all the books back at home." Donna stops for a second and you don't even notice. You called her house your home. The thought makes her blush but thankfully Angie lets it go. And you were too busy admiring the view to notice.

-

The three of you finally arrive and a maid greets you. The same maid also escorts you to where the Dimitrescus were.

The first one to spot the three of you were a redhead who immediately squeals and lunges at Donna. You quickly switch places with her so she tackles you instead. You groan as you hit the floor. Angie laughs as Donna panics. You look at the redhead and she smiles.

"A new person! Who are you!?" You sit as she gets off you and sigh.

"I'm Y/N. Y/N Y/LN. Donna's... Housemate?"

"Housemate!? You liar! You're her girlfriend!" You and Donna blush because you did confess to each other but haven't decided on labels or anything yet.

"Angie!" Donna scolds Angie who just shrugs. Angie gets off Donna then sits on Bela's lap. You stand then glare at her.

"Y/N. Donna. I'm glad you both made it today." You and Donna turn to Alcina. You both smile and nod. She gestures to the couch and you both take a seat.

"Dani! Let's play hide and seek!" Dani, the redhead squeals then quickly gets out of the room and Angie follows.

"That was Daniela. My youngest." You hum as a maid pours both you and Donna a cup of tea. "This is Bela." She pats the blonde's head who smiles at you. "The eldest."

"I'm Cassandra. But you can call me Cass."

"You're the middle child, huh?"

"Yep." You all hear Daniela's scream or laughter? You then see Cassandra turn into a swarm of flies? What? Then said swarm go outside the room. You look shocked then turn to Alcina.

"That's one of their abilities." Oh.

"Is the other eating people?" Alcina chuckles as she sips her tea.

"That we need for survival."

"Oh. How unfortunate." You sip your own cup.

-

You were carrying Donna and Angie home. Angie got tired because she was playing the whole time with the three sisters. While Donna got drunk quickly when Alcina opened a bottle of her finest wine.

'She's such a lightweight.' You smile as you hike back to your home.

A/N:

Meeting the family!!!

Yes, I'm going to do everyone.

Yes, even Mother Miranda.

An Avenger vs. A cult leader.

Also, what is reader's powers/abilities?

Comments and thoughts are always welcome!

Thank you for reading!

If you can, please buy me a coffee.

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Alma Mater (S2, E3)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading. 

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:20 - There’s no way Martin is actually going to escape Claremont until AT LEAST the season finale.

0:55 - Anyone else annoyed that Ainsley isn’t in Martin’s fantasy? I mean - it’s completely in character but it still pisses me off. 

1:49 - I’m sorry - what? How will pouring Malcolm a drink help this fictional situation?

2:00 - Malcolm ruining Martin’s fantasy dream is honestly such a mood. 

2:10 - “That little kill joy.” haha 

2:21 - Malcolm has a stationary bike. Of course he does. But why does he listen to the personal trainer lady (who I assume was a recording programmed on the bike)? Malcolm doesn’t seem like he needs praise or motivation to exercise. He probably does it the way I do - mindlessly as a habit. A habit built from the knowledge that if I skip a morning workout I will feel more unsettled and anxious than usual before lunch....and don’t even get me started on how quickly my depressive thoughts escalate. 

2:24 - ....I’m still convinced/hoping that this is a false memory Martin has planted in Malcolm. I’m all for Malcolm whump and Malcolm trauma...but the thought of Gil, the team, and Jessica finding out that Malcolm committed a crime terrifies me. I don’t want him to go to jail. I don’t want Gil and the team to turn their back on him. I don’t want Jessica to blame herself (more than usual).

2:39 - I love that the “Malcolm pretty much only feeds himself liquorice and lollipops” is still canon this season.

2:42 - OMG. That is not a helpful affirmation. Like maybe for anyone? If you’re traumatized/depressed/anxious “consider the past and you shall know the future” is not comforting or inspiring. It’s the opposite.

2:48 - I’m loving how confidently Malcolm has been shutting down Martin’s manipulation. #soproud

2:52 - Anyone else super upset that Martin is the person with whom Malcolm discusses his mental health the most honestly? 

3:12 - Check out the way Mr. David looks at Martin here. Does Mr. David already know about Endicott? Or is he just like, “Bitch, spit it out so I don’t have to keep guessing your current family drama.”?

3:17 - “Let’s have another session today.” .....Does Martin really think he’s Malcolm’s new therapist? DOES MALCOLM THINK THAT? IS THAT WHY HE ISN’T SEEING GABRIELLE? HAS MARTIN MANIPULATED HIM INTO THINKING THAT HE DOESN’T NEED GABRIELLE?!?

3:22 - hahahaha OMG. Mr.David is so done with Martin’s theatrics.

3:32 - Ok so two things:

Martin’s insight on Malcolm’s mental health/coping mechanisms is disturbingly on point. Almost like he’s an attentive, caring, father (which he isn’t). 

How long was Gil outside Malcolm’s door before he knocked? Do you think he overheard Malcolm’s side of the conversation? I kind of hope he did. But only if it means I get to see Gil asking Malcolm about it.

3:50 - “Put me on speaker.” I’m torn. Part of me is so proud of Malcolm for denying Martin’s need for attention....but part of me is living for a Martin/Gil showdown where they fight over Malcolm in front of Malcolm.

3:54 - Ok. So Gil was a jerk last episode but I forgive him. Gil just showed up at Malcolm’s apartment to tell him about a case instead of calling Malcolm. Gil knew Malcolm would be upset. Gil knew that Malcolm needed to hear this in person. <3 My heart is full. <3 

4:12 - Concerned!Gil is everything. Look at how much he cares about Malcolm and what this case will inevitably bring up for Malcolm. You can almost see how badly Gil doesn’t want Malcolm on this case. 

4:13 - “What if I said I need you?” Damn. Gil knows. He knows that Malcolm desperately doesn’t want to ever disappoint Gil. Gil is Malcolm’s hero and, when Malcolm is thinking straight, he’d do anything for Gil. 

4:17 - <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Gil looks so sad when he notices Malcolm’s hand shaking. Can a heart simultaneously break and heal? 

4:23 - Oh yeah. Gil definitely wanted Brumback dead for what he did to Malcolm. He doesn’t even try giving Malcolm the “you’re being insensitive” look. 

4:42 - Wow. That school is nicer than my university. 

4:47 - Do you think Gil’s been to the school before? To visit and/or pick up Malcolm? ....I really want to believe he did. Gil looks like he’s leading Malcolm through campus. Gil looks like he’s familiar with the campus. Surely that means he visited Malcolm there. Right?

5:17 - So...was the “office under water” thing officially a prank? It’s brutal. Forget the murder, Brumback would’ve expelled kids for that prank. 

5:27 - I love how Dani looks at Gil for clarification here. She’s like, “Malcolm is upset, ranting, and making no sense. I’m not going to set him off further by asking more questions. But I need to know what the hell he’s going on about.”

5:40 - Soooo is JT texting Dani? Or is Tally? I really hope it’s Tally. I hope Dani’s texts are all reading something along the lines of “He won’t stop pacing and panicking. If he doesn’t calm down I’m going to slap him.”

5:43 - I love the look of disbelief that Gil shoots Dani when her phone goes off. haha

5:52 - hahaha Gil so heard Edrisa the first time. He was just giving her a chance to conform to professional social standards. 

6:03 - hahahaha OMG. Edrisa is a treasure.

6:56 - awww Malcolm, baby. :( This boy has so much trauma. I love it. 

7:07 - I’m assuming Malcolm’s ‘high school’ was grades 10-12 (not 8-12 which is common in the area of Canada where I grew up) so that means Tom Payne is currently being passed off as a 15-16 year old. It kinda works. But ngl - I spent most of this scene thinking “could they not hire a kid because of COVID?” 

7:12 - I’m not actually mad that Tom Payne was allowed to play high school Malcolm though. His performance in this scene is really moving. “Be someone new.” :( <3

7:45 - Sooooo Malcolm changed his name before he was legally an adult. If it’s his legal last name (we see “Bright” on pill bottles in S1 so it’s his legal name now at least) Jessica had to have signed the paperwork. Damn. I wish I was there to see that process regardless of when it became his legal last name.

7:49 - Baby Malcolm looks so comforted by Martin’s acceptance of his new name and new school. It breaks my heart. 

8:00 - Wait. There was a teacher who liked Malcolm at this school? The son a serial killer? AND the teacher recognizes Malcolm 15 years later?!? Nah. I don’t buy it. I love Malcolm but I feel like the teachers would’ve avoided developing any sort of relationship with Malcolm even if they didn’t have a problem with him. 

8:05 - Hold up. This school is so fancy. Are you telling me they don’t have outdoor security cameras? Surely those would’ve told you who the suspects for the desk thing were at least. 

8:15 - awwww poor Malcolm looks shattered here. :( 

8:31 - “Easy. Let’s keep an open mind.”  That is pure Dad!Gil energy and I’m here for it. 

8:39 - Of course. Of course Jessica is involved in the rich school. 

8:51 - I’m on Gil and Malcolm’s side here. Jessica is putting her reputation over Malcolm’s mental health. Shame on her. No no. I will not stand for this - and neither will Gil. Damn. Look at how pissed he is on Malcolm’s behalf. <3 So sweet. 

9:06 - “Pop-pop’s aquatic center”!?!? Soooo is Pop-pop Jessica’s grandfather or Malcolm’s? Either way give me more information about the extended family. Are they dead? Did they disown them after the Surgeon business? I WANT ANSWERS FEDAK. 

9:15 - I swear. Malcolm is the best son/brother ever. The sacrifices he makes for his Mom/sister are unreal. Also - how much do you want to bet that Malcolm was thinking about the Endicott murder coming out when Jessica said, “how soon until they connect that back to me?”. Malcolm looks so sad here. 

9:23 - Nah. I don’t like Delaney. Even on the first watch I was put off by him. Something about him just creeps me out. He’s showing a weird amount of affection for Malcolm 15 years after Malcolm finished school. IDK maybe I was just upset that someone was trying to mimic Gil’s relationship with Malcolm? 

9:27 - oooooooohhhhh Mom and Dad are fighting. hahaha Malcolm looks so uncomfortable. Gil looks livid. Is Gil pissed because Jessica dumped him or because she totally just neglected Malcolm’s well-being for her own? Probably both. Either way, it’s endlessly entertaining. 

9:53 - I’m on Gil’s side here. She dumped him (like a f**ing moron) because she “doesn’t want to hurt him” and because she’s “broken” and “cursed”. Yet - she manipulates her way into cases. Making her business Gil’s. Gil should be pissed - she broke his heart. Again. Like he’s literally been choosing to hang out with Malcolm, Jessica’s (let’s face it) broken son, for more than 20 years. Jessica’s crazy if she thinks that she’s going to get Gil killed or hurt just because she’s a Whitly. Malcolm’s technically a Whitly - Gil hasn’t died yet. 

10:15 - “Not usually.” Dang. That was icy.

10:50 - Yo this is one messed up bible study. Take it from someone who has attended many young adult/teenage bible studies. This is crazy. Usually it’s: read the bible for 5-10 minutes as a group, discuss how you interpreted it for 15-20 mins, pray as a group for 5 mins, then like an hour of tea/coffee, cookies, board games, and general chatting about normal stuff like romance, school, and personal drama. 

11:44 - “Poor Tally.” hahaha I’m willing to bet that Tally is texting Dani - not JT. I just can’t imagine a panicking, first-time father, texting his little sister with accurate medical details about his wife’s pre-labour experience. He’s probably way too panicked to remember the medical jargon that is “foley ballon”.

12:00 - I’ve watched this scene about 30 times. I’m in love with it. Tom Payne’s performance is haunting and I’m a sucker for emotional whump. I love how Dani is concerned about Malcolm but respectful enough to pry until he shuts down. I love Malcolm’s little speech about the hand tremor (even though it doesn’t make sense because baby Malcolm’s hand was shaking when Shannon interrogated him - but that’s a whole different can of worms I’m not going to rant about).

 12:39 - Does anyone else think it’s weird that there’s a bolt on the closet door? Why isn’t there a lock in the door handle like every other interior school door? I mean, I guess it’s because they can be unlocked from the inside and Nicky would’ve needed a key....but still. The things I forgive for the sake of plot. 

13:25 - Damn. Brumback was a real jerk. “I know what you really are.” Do you know how painful that would be for Malcolm to hear? Regardless of what he almost did to Nicky? Everywhere Malcolm goes people accuse him of being just like his father. Is it surprising that in a moment of weakness, with teenage hormones, Malcolm snapped and said, “Eff it. They think I’m a murderer anyways.”

13:26 - OMG. How bad were the kids at this school?!?! Brumback expelled so many kids. Holy hell. Also - Brumback is wearing a wedding ring. Did he get divorced before he died? Did his wife pass away before him? Why was his family not part of this investigation at all?

13:31 - Brumback writing “Malcolm Whitly” instead of Malcolm Bright is....ouch. I just. My heart breaks for Malcolm.

13:37 - OMG. Traumatized people going through PTSD flashbacks should not be unattended next to a pool of water. Honestly - I thought our boy was going to drown. Which the whumper in me would’ve loved but also I don’t think it was right for the plot on this one. 

14:38 - Martin is such a liar. He definitely thinks he’s God’s gift to the Earth. 

15:02 - Martin knows a lot about the security zones. Something tells me this isn’t the first time he’s contemplated escaping. 

15:04 - Oh shit. Daryl has an imaginary cell mate. I know that’s a serious mental illness and I shouldn’t laugh but OMG. The moment Martin realizes that Daryl is delusional is priceless. hahahaha

15:25 - How much to do want to bet Mr. David has a red key card? Martin’s grin confirms it. 

15:40 - Wow. The classrooms in this high school are really big. I would’ve thought this fancy private school would have smaller class sizes.

15:49 - YES. OMG. Malcolm walking into that classroom soaking wet is golden. *chef’s kiss* Look at Gil’s face - it’s a mixture of concern and disbelief. He’s soooo worried about Malcolm right now. <3 

16:07 - It’s a good thing Malcolm’s rich because that phone is never going to be useful again. 

16:20 - ahhahahaha OMG. WTF. Gil’s little twinkle-finger wave is hilarious. 

16:38 - This whole scene Gil is just staring at Malcolm with so much concern. It warms my cold, dead heart. <3

16:46 - Do you think Malcolm looked for his name in the book? Is it the same book? Do you think Brumback expelled enough kids that this is a new black book?

17:08 - Ok. So I immediately don’t like Louisa. That level of confidence and self-absorption is very unattractive. 

17:25 - Louisa volunteers in the library. That’s how she got access to the poison. 

17:35 - “Dude. You’re dripping.” “Yeah. Water does that.” Can Malcolm be this sassy every episode?!? I’m living for it. 

17:57 - “Boys right? Oof” haha I love Malcolm talking to teenagers. I want it in every episode. ALSO - the jock’s story about the two girls - I’m sorry, but I just don’t see how that an expulsion level offence unless the kid is leaving something out of the story. 

18:31 - Of course they talked about this before they came there. DELANEY WARNED THEM. But mostly to keep his little cheating ring hush hush. 

18:55 - And just like that we’ve been blessed with Malcolm in casual clothes. Wish I could’ve seen Gil question Malcolm’s swim though. 

19:26 - OMG. Edrisa is such a cute little nerd. <3 Protect her at all costs. 

20:00 - Gil and Jessica arguing is amazing. I’m loving it and hating it. Because I want them to live happily ever after in a fairytale world but I do enjoy the drama. 

20:06 - hahaha look at how Jessica just pushes Gil to the side and plows on to Malcolm. This woman is fierce.

20:11 - Yes. Yes Malcolm. Tell Mom she has unrealistic and insensitive expectations of you.

 20:18 - What kind of school is this?!? The board of trustee members are buddy buddy with the students?!? 

20:22 - “They’re all from impeccable families.” “So was I” Mic drop. Watch Malcolm drop the truth bombs. This is maybe the best line in this episode. 

20:30 - “And just like you - none of them is capable of murder.” .....well this sentence is going to come back and bite Jessica in the butt later this season. 

20:44 - The fact that these kids think Edrisa is a freshman is actually hilarious to me. 

20:50 - OMG. “Welcome to boarding school. Bitch.” I was ready for Louisa to die right here. She just punched Edrisa and then called her a bitch. No no no. Edrisa is a quirky treasure and we must protect her. 

21:00 - Damn. I wish we got to see the team’s reaction when they found out one of their teenage suspects assaulted their favourite M.E.

21:10 - Why is it soooo attractive when Malcolm wears casual shirts under a suit jacket? 

21:53 - “My vote is for Louisa. The girl’s got a heavy fist.” hahaha I love Edrisa. SO SO much. 

22:05 - Soooo is Jessica some sort of consultant now? They used her to interview cult extractors and now rich, teenage murder suspect. Is she the “rich person investigator” now?

22:11 - Does Louisa know that Malcolm is Jessica’s son?

23:04 - Louisa is a bad liar. 

24:15 - Delaney should be ashamed. He told Nicky who Malcolm’s dad was. He is the reason that Malcolm got locked in a closet for 3 days. He is the reason Malcolm is claustrophobic. This man should have his teaching license seized and be charged with child abuse. What he did was absolutely despicable. 

24:35 - “My mom’s sending a car.” It’s nice that Malcolm doesn’t always refer to Jessica as “mother”

25:00 - This is heartbreaking. I hope Nicky got expelled. If he didn’t - Malcolm experience a bigger injustice than we were lead to believe. Look at Nicky walking away from Malcolm. That kid has no remorse. I don’t blame Malcolm for seeking revenge. Malcolm keeps getting burned by people. Something had to give eventually.

25:30 - The biggest crime this episode committed is that we only saw Malcolm getting comfort from DELANEY. Honestly. Where was my papa Gil moment?!? Or a Dani+Malcolm moment?!?

25:51 - I doubt Delaney tried to stand up for Malcolm. He probably encouraged the expulsion. 

26:05 - “Please.” Yikes. This has been torturing Malcolm for years. Who sold him out? Who ruined his last chance at a happy childhood? Who allowed him to be traumatized further? Who gave him the hand tremor (assuming we’re ignoring the S1 canon). 

26:38 - What. A. Getaway. This school is full of crazy rich kids.

26:55 - “This time”?!? Doesn’t Martin always root for the killer?

27:05 - I love everything about this interaction between Martin and Malcolm. I love how upset Malcolm is. I love how Malcolm calls out Martin for being a bad dad. I love that Martin just sits there and takes it. Martin even looks a little sad. It makes me wonder - did Martin know about Delaney’s cheating ring? Did Martin manipulate Delaney into thinking Malcolm was a threat and convince him to get Malcolm expelled? I can see Martin doing it. If for no other reason than to tarnish the “Milton legacy” at Remington. 

28:04 - UGH. I want to see how Malcolm got out of that closet SO BAD. Who found him? How close to death was he? PLEASE TELL ME IT WAS GIL. Why didn’t Jessica investigate when Malcolm didn’t show up at the Hamptons as planned? 

28:13 - “How you wish that were true.” Ouch. Martin is a real asshole. He knows just how to destabilize Malcolm’s confidence. 

28:56 - Even now, Martin is trying to manipulate Malcolm. Their relationship is so dysfunctional, beautiful, heartbreaking, and complex. I could watch them interact forever. 

29:31 - Look at that little head shake from Mr. David. Martin’s cell is not soundproof. Mr. David heard everything. Mr. David always hears everything. Mr. David knows about Endicott. Istg. 

30:12 - Delaney is a scumbag. He might not be a serial killer but he’s another male, adult asshole who gained Malcolm’s trust and then stabbed him in the back. 

30:37 - OK. So I know, I’ve been hypothesizing that Mr. David is an ally to Martin’s crazy schemes, or that he worked for Endicott, or that Martin is going to try to kill Mr. David. BUT YO. IF MR. DAVID DIES I WILL THROW HANDS. HE’S SUCH A GREAT CHARACTER. 

31:40 - This is a weirdly fancy room for video games. Also I miss JT. He should be here. I wish he was here. He would’ve been so good in this episode. Can you imagine his facial expressions and comments when he finds out little tidbits about Malcolm’s teenage past?! It would’ve been comedic GOLD. Couldn’t Tally give birth during a less interesting episode?!?! 

32:15 - I’m convinced that Malcolm isn’t actually upset that Delaney’s crime is running the cheating ring. I think Malcolm’s upset because he just realized the only positive male role model (aside from Gil) that he had as a teenager was a manipulative liar who betrayed him. Malcolm just realized that this dude never cared about him and he’s crushed.

32:27 - Wait. Does Delaney make the kids pay him for the answers? Because that actually makes sense. 

33:08 - This whole scene where Molly runs out of the back room and Dani says, “who are you running from?” is really cringey to me. 

33:19 - Oh great. Now the guy who betrayed Malcolm is touching the back of Malcolm’s neck. JUST LIKE GIL DOES. Well....something tells me that’s going to taint how comforting Malcolm find’s that gesture coming from Gil for a while. Malcolm just isn’t allowed to be happy. Even for a moment. It’s a shame. I also love it. 

33:40 - Awww...poor Malcolm is claustrophobic and he gets locked in the vault with a dying man. Look how desperate he is to get out of there - to save Delaney and to save himself more mental distress. 

33:53 - Look at Malcolm panicking here. He tries to hide his panic as concern for Delaney but he’s clearly freaking out about being trapped in a smallish space. 

34:25 - Yep. Malcolm didn’t think he could trust Daryl because Daryl is delusional. SO Martin threatens to murder Daryl and then metaphorically stabs the dude in the back. This is perfectly in character. 

35:25 - Damn. Louisa is seriously mentally ill. She has zero empathy. 

35:57 - Malcolm projecting his mental issues on the killer du jour is always simultaneously cringey and amazing to me. 

36:26 - I’m not going to lie. Daryl screaming “He’s a Judas” as he was dragged away was hilarious. 

37:04 - Holy shit. This took a turn. I’ll be honest - I don’t blame Malcolm for almost killing Nicky. But it does scare me. 

38:35 - That story must have been haunting Malcolm for 15 years. I bet you he’s never told anyone not even Gabrielle. He’s had nightmares about it. Because he knows he’s capable of murder. Just like Martin. That terrifies Malcolm more than anything in the world. 

39:12 - sooooo Delaney just heard that whole confession. Delaney lives. Something tells me this is going to be a problem for Malcolm when Endicott’s murder is investigated later in the season.

39:35 - “Are you insane?” “Maybe.” That’s it. That’s the show. 

40:00 - Two questions: 1) Where is Dani? 2) Why does Gil not know where Malcolm is right now?

40:22 - Look Fedak screwed us over. We didn’t get to see Gil find Malcolm half-dead on the floor of that library vault. BUT this scene almost makes up for it. 

40:24 - Malcolm wrapped in a blanket is so so cute. I just want to hug him. I want Gil to hug him. Ugh. <3 

40:28 - I love that you can tell that Malcolm and Gil have had this sort of discussion about Malcolm’s sense of self-preservation numerous times in the past. Gil looks sooooo pissed. And concerned. 

40:35 - Malcolm’s imitation of Gil makes me so so so so happy. I just. Ugh. It’s adorable. Look at how exasperated it makes Gil. Look at Dani’s reaction to it. This might be the greatest “found family”. scenes this show has given us to date. 

40:55 - “All in a day’s work.” Oh yeah. Gil is super concerned about Malcolm’s mental state. Gil is Worried. I want to see more of it. 

40:57 - I love that Dani just can’t wait anymore. She’s so precious. Look at how excited she is about JT’s baby. <3 I’m in love. She’s so soft here - it’s beautiful and rare for this show to let the audience see this side of Dani. 

41:00 - GIL’S REACTION. <3 OMG. I LOVE HIM. HE LOOKS SO HAPPY. I HOPE JT AND TALLY DUB HIM THE BABY’S UNOFFICIAL GRANDFATHER. 

41:02 - MALCOLM’S FACE. <3 <3 <3 IS THIS THE FIRST TIME HE’S EVER SEEN A BABY? HE’S SO ENAMORED WITH THIS CHILD ALREADY. LOOK AT HOW MUCH MALCOLM ALREADY LOVES JT’S KID. <3 <3 IT’S SO SOFT. I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO MUCH. 

41:22 - I can’t decide about this scene. On one hand - I think it’s really mature of Malcolm to apologize to Martin. It’s a courtesy that Martin doesn’t deserve. ON THE OTHER HAND - I wonder if Malcolm is only apologizing to throw Martin off balance. I wonder if this is Malcolm’s attempt to manipulate Martin for once. Either way - I love it. 

42:25 - Martin always gets the last word. He always worms his way into Malcolm’s brain and screws with Malcolm’s sense of self. I hate it. But I also find it so captivating. 

43:05 - Sooooo is Martin committing the murder next episode? Or is he just manipulating someone else to commit a murder? Either way - I’m excited. 

If you read this far - I’m flattered. I also think you’re a little crazy. But thanks for hanging out. 

[felix-sullivan]

HOMECOMING 2020

Tammi // "I can't believe it. Look at them," Tammi exclaimed, looking over at Paddy and Mina who were currently at the bar getting something to drink. "How ridiculous." She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink.

.: Aly //Aly, who was watching Charlie and Dani from across the room, was snapped out of her day dreaming at Tammi's voice. She turned to look at the two at the bar and rolled her eyes at Tammi as well, though her annoyance was minimal in comparison to Tammi's. "Honestly? Her whole appearance just looks a little try hard." She scrunched her nose up so Tammi would see. "Why do boys fall for that so easily?"

.: Cari // "Don't you look so uncomfortable, Mister!" She elbowed Roman in the side, grinning from ear to ear. Her face got a conspiratorial expression. "I got some Vodka in my purse. Really takes you back to senior year, doesn't it? You ready for a shot?"

....: Roman // "Hello, I'm not uncomfortable at all. Maybe a little, alright, but it's weird being back here. Also seeing Mr. Garrison again, after all this time.." Roman laughed and shrugged. He eyed her at her second comment, once again feeling a sense of nostalgia as he grinned. "Have you? You really haven't changed a bit. If tonight doesn't call for a shot, what does."

.: Freya // She finished pouring them both a drink, handing Chris a cup when she as done. "They really did play a good game today. Really felt on the edge of my seat for the last bit. I just hope they behave now and we don't have to intervene much tonight, they deserve a bit of a party after that."

....: Trevor // "Alright, Lucas and I put a little bit of vodka into the punch. A small amount. Barely noticeable. Mostly me, but he helped," Trevor admitted to the group that was still at their table with a shrug, "I'm simply helping everyone to have a good time. No harm done."

.: Cari // "It is weird, isn't it? I talked to Garrison earlier and he barely seemed to remember me.. I feel a little offended? I thought we caused enough trouble back in the day." She was still grinning at him, already fishing for the flask in her purse. "And neither have you, it seems. Still as easily swayed.." She cocked her head at Roman, standing closer to him as she held the flask between their bodies. "I'm thinking so, too. You first?" She asked, as she looked around her shoulder once, as if they were actually students again. "I don't want any of my younger siblings seeing this." She explained.

....: Chris // "Cheers," Chris said, clinking their cups together once Freya's finished pouring them both their drinks. He looked into her eye as he did and then took a big sip, if not even two. "I felt the same way. What a good game. I don't know much about football, so I was surprised how invested I was. They really did good. Especially Benji; I had no idea he could play that way. It was my first time actually watching," he admitted, not shameful but as a matter of fact. "Let's hope so, yeah. I feel like it's going well so far, though."

.: Andy // "Yeah, boys!" He exclaimed enthusiastically, going for a high five with both Trevor and Lucas. "But do you think we should tell people who are gonna get any? Maybe they don't wanna drink.." He added, a little thoughtfully.

....: Tammi // "I really don't know? Especially Paddy. I thought he was better than that. Right? We both thought so but they're all the same," Tammi complained annoyed, "Her dress is terrible. It doesn't even fit the theme. Ugh. Anyway. We shall not let that ruin our night. Speaking of, know who keeps looking your way?"

.: Freya // " I never thought I'd be into American football, either. I had to watch a couple Rugby championships in my time, but this is feels actually exciting. Maybe because they're our students. Yeah, he was good!" She gave him an amused smile, swaying in her place a little. "It did only just start. So for now, I'd be inclined to agree. I'm always so scared about parents here, is that the same for you? Or is that because I'm secretly afraid of Americans?"

....: Roman // "Talk for yourself, because he definitely remembered me," he said, grin still in place as he watched her fish for the flask. "You're an adult, you know, you're allowed to drink alcohol," he said, looking down at her as he took the flask into his hands. He took notice of their height difference; it was still the same as back in the day. He put it to his mouth and took three sips, his face grimacing after. "Uff. God." He hands her the flask.

....: Trevor // "No, what the fuck, of course not," Trevor said to Andy, as if it was the most obvious thing. "We'd get in trouble if someone snitched on us. And also, like said, no harm done, it's not like we put a whole bottle of vodka in it. Just a small amount. Don't worry, Ands." he said, leaning forward to ruffle through Andy's hair.

.: Aly // "Yeah, I guess they are all the same.. Kind of." She was fixing Charlie with a longing stare again, daydreaming about how she would act as his date to Homecoming and wondering whether she could compare to any of his friends.. or his actual date.. At Tammi's comment, she looked over at Mina again. "Honestly, I know. She's one of the ones who wouldn't get dressed up for Halloween because she's too cool. It also doesn't really fit her? It's so short." She joined in on Tammi's rant, looking back at them and scrunching up her nose. "What? Who?" She asked, genuienly stumped.

.: Cari // "Well, I'm not the slightest bit surprised he'd remember you. I think you and Brandon were in his office every two weeks at one point during senior year." She coyly shoved him again. " I do know that!" She excalimed, looking around once again. "Once again, my siblings are here. They're /babies/. Also, I weirdly feel like I'm gonna get in trouble again being here." She grinned as he took his sips, making a little face as he handed the flask back to her. "You really still haven't got used to these?" She took a swig and another one with ease, suppressing the need to scrunch her face up in disgust. "What have you been doing all these years?"

....: Chris // "That's right. I probably wouldn't have cared as much if it wasn't for our students." Chris smiled at that realisation and looked across the room, his eyes falling on Felix for a second, before looking back at Freya. "The parents?" Chris had to laugh, "It is the same for me still, yeah. I like to think it's gotten better, but it's still a thing. I don't think it's an American thing. It's a parents thing. They can be ruthless and will also blame for absolutely everything."

.: Paddy // "You got something on your face," he said reaching to wipe at Mina's cheek. He didn't realise it was glitter she had put on earlier. "Right there."

....: Chelsea // Chelsea's eyebrows were raised at the conversation between Andy and Trevor, but her expression was light and she was fighting a smile These boys. She sat next to Toby, her hand intertwined with his, both of theirs resting on his lap. She started playing with his fingers and leaned forward to rest her head on his shoulder. "Hey, do you feel like dancing?"

....: Mina // "Oh," Mina giggled, watching Paddy remove whatever she had on her face. "Thank you," she smiled at him in a bitter-sweet manner and grabbed his hand to look at whatever was on her face.

.: Andy // He ducked Trevor's ruffle through his hair, laughing a little. "Yeah, but like. I just think, like, if someone's not wanting to drink, you know." He eyed the punch again before getting distracted by Trevor's attempt to assure him. "Imma worry about whatever I want to, Trevor. If you only put a bit, have you got any tp spare?"

....: Tammi // "She also didn't? If you remember? She simply straightened her hair and put on black eyeliner and said she's going as emo. There was nothing emo about her," Tammi rolled her eyes again. She watched as Paddy, from her point of view anyway, reached to caress Mina's cheek. Her blood started to uncontrollably boil, so she had to take another aggressive sip from her punch, and another, and another until the cup was actually empty. She took a deep breath and put the cup down on the table. "Nolan Kellerman. He's over there with Finn, and he keeps staring." Tammi nods over to where they are stood.

....: Nancy // "Hi boys!" Nancy sing sang as she approached the table with a cup, quickly letting herself down on Andy's lap. "I was just on the dancefloor, and let me tell you, I'm feeling this punch a lot," she said as she smiled widely and took a sip.

....: Chelsea // Chelsea watched as Nancy let herself down on Andy's lap, eyeing them for a second before averting her eyes back on Toby.

....: Roman // "If you genuinely believe they haven't done any of this, then high school must be farther away for you than I thought," Roman joked with a smirk, thinking back to their High School days. It stayed plastered on his face this entire time as he watched her drinking from the flask. "I'm not that much of a drinker these days," he admitted with a laugh. "Work usually takes up most of my time, so I barely get to drink, or attend school dances. You still seem like a natural though," he teased with a laugh.

////: Freya // She weighed it for a moment before shaking her head. "I think I have to disagree. I think it's an /American/ parents thing." Her voice got a little quieter towards the end, though she smirked jokingly at him. "In the least offensive way, because it's great! I feel like barely anyone cares in the UK."

//// joined the chat 13 hours ago

....: Chris // "Maybe I should've been a teacher in the UK, then." He said with a smile. "Are you going to go home over the holidays?"

////: Toby // He was idly holding Chelsea's hand, not really participating in or even really listening on the conversation going on around them. His eyes were lost at nothing particular in the crowd and his mind elsewhere. Perhaps he was keeping an eye out for someone in particular, perhaps he wasn't at all. When Chelsea spoke up, he turned to look at her, craning his neck a little awkwardly, but giving her a toothy smile. "Yeah, we can dance." He brought their hands up to his mouth to kiss her knuckles. "But.. let's wait for the next song? This one's kinda.. he's not amazing in my opinion."

////: Paddy // "No, wait, it's still there." Only then, upon looking more closely between her face and his finger did the realisation dawn on him. He laughed. "Oh, I think it's actually.. supposed to be there. Whoops. Here. I'll put it back," he joked, teasingly pushing his thumb on her cheek again.

....: Chelsea // Chelsea smiled at Toby when he kissed her hand, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Sure. We can wait for the next song. Are you feeling okay? You seem to be zoning out a lot."

////: Aly // She laughed into her cup a little as Tammi recounted last year's Halloween. She noticed the annoyance on her face multiply, following her line of sight and seeing Paddy and Mina having a seemingly flirty interaction. She looked back at Tammi, who was throwing back her drink now. She thought of what to say, but came up short, so she was glad when Tammi pointed out Nolan and Finn in the other direction. "Oh god, I know.." she said, her cheeks getting a little hot but not being able to suppress a smile. "Oh, he's looking again! Tammi." She pushed her in the side a little to prevent Nolan from noticing they were looking back at them.

....: Mina // "Paddy, you're going to destroy the make up if you keep that up," she giggled and moved out of his touch, momentarily turning to the beverages in front of them. She put a strand behind her ear and reached for an empty cup. "Would you pour me a punch, please?" She handed it to him, her eyes glistening.

////: Andy // He laughed good naturedly as Nancy sat down on his lap, momentarily fidgeting with his hands, unsure where to place them. He ended up with one arm around her middle, the other one resting on his own leg. "Yeah, we saw you! You looked so good, you have to teach us. Girl's got those moves." He looked over to Chelsea for a second out of the corner of his eye, but quickly averted his attention back to Nancy when he noticed her and Toby having a moment. "Yeah!" He exclaimed with a laugh. "Got our boys Trev and Lucas to thank for that." He leaned over her shoulder and stole a sip from her cup while she was still holding it.

////: Cari // She looked at him with furrowed eyebrows but an amused expression. "Oh, please. I don't believe that for a second. I know for a fact that's not the case.." She said, raising her eyebrows with an expression that meant to say there was a lot of moments she remember that she wouldn't mention. "I just mean, I'm like the responible sister, you know. I don't wanna be the bum that crashes their dance and then gets fucked up. But.. that's what we're gonna do, so." She eyed him with a glimmer in her eye, teasing but friendly. "Yeah, I can tell. You're really out of practice, aren't you. So responsible. Need to get you back in shape now." She shrugged at his last statement, neither confirming nor denying it, but pointedly taking another swig from the flask. "Okay, two more for you, Sullivan. Let's go." She held out the flask to him.

////: Freya // "You can definitely be a little more creative with your teaching over there." She said with a nostalgic smile, though she wouldn't change being in the US right now for anything. "Oh, most likely, yeah. I was talking to Kian and we've been talking about New Year's as well, which he said he might enjoy spending that across the pond." She told him with a happy smile, swaying in her place for a moment. "What are your plans? You have any yet?"

....: Lucas // "Hey, hey. First of all," Lucas started, leaning forward. "I had no idea Trevor was going to put vodka in the punch until it was too late. I'm not an accomplice by choice," Lucas corrected, raising his cup as if to drink a toast to something before drinking.

////: Toby // "Huh? Oh yeah, sorry, totally, yeah." He gave her a reassuring smile and went to kiss her cheek. "I'm not really zoning out, I'm just.. yeah, I don't know." He grinned when he blanked for a a good excuse, hoping his smile was glossing over it enough. Alright. Wanna dance?" He got up, still holding her hand and looking at her expectantly.

....: Trevor // Trevor let out a laugh and flipped Lucas off, followed by a slight shove with the elbow from their seats, almost making Lucas' drink spill over. "Fuck off, I thought we were brothers and shit?" He shook his head, but the playfulness evident in both their features. He turned his attention to Andy and Nancy, "I put a little bit of Russian water to the punch." He raised his eyebrow for a moment and then winked. "Glad you're enjoying it, Nance."

////: Paddy // "You don't need the make up anyway." He said rather matter of factly. "But it looks nice. The colour dusty thing on your eye is really cool," he said with a grin, holding his hand up for a second to show he was stopping and pointing at her eyeshadow without touching her again. "Yeah, sure." He grabbed another empty cup for himself, holding it between his teeth while he fixed up Mina's drink.

////: Dani // "I know! This boy has a kick." She scrunched her nose up at Charlie and momentarily took his chin into her hand. She was standing with Charlie, Alex and a couple other people talking about the game. "So proud of him. Of ALL of them," she added importantly, looking around at everyone and slipping an arm around Charlie's waist to lean into him a little bit. "Alex, you played, didn't you? Do you still?"

....: Tammi // Tammi bit back a giggle. She looked past Aly, but there he was, looking over again. "He's still looking! Can he make it any more obvious?" she screamed at her best friend in a whisper. "Oh God, I think... he's coming over," Tammi warned, again in the same whispering manner. "Aly.. he's coming. He's. He's coming." Tammi watched as Nolan approached. "He's here." Tammi said to Aly and then proceeded to put on a smile. "Hi, Nolan!"

////: Aly // Her eyes widened at Tammi and she looked at her best friend imploringly, shaking her head the slightest bit but not being able to suppress the giggles. "Oh Tammi.." She stayed focused on Tammi until the last second, her cheeks still growing a little hotter, when Tammi greeted Nolan behind her. She turned around as well, smiling. "Heyyy. How are you doing, Nolan?"

....: Nancy // "I try," Nancy thanked, throwing her blonde hair behind her shoulder in a swift motion at Andy hyping her up. "Practice, Andy, practice. It really does make perfect," she winked at him and then looked over to the three boys on the other side of the table, Benji, Lucas and Trevor. "Oh," she exclaimed a little dumbfounded, looking down at the cup in her hand to examine it. She shrugged and downed the drink in one quick go. "That explains it." She grinned and leaned forward to poke Trevor's nose. "At least someone wants everyone to have a good time." She got off Andy. "I'm getting some more. Anyone else?"

....: Chris // Chris smiled. "I guess it'd be a complete culture shock," Chris said as he thought about it. However, the thought was also interesting. "Oh, really? That's great, I had no idea. He hasn't told me. Then again, we've only been texting back and forth these days. He's quite busy with the club. But, wow! That's huge. Meeting your family?"

////: Finn // He gave Nolan a friendly push to his shoulder when the other had already turned to approach the two girls. "Go." He stayed behind, watching Nolan for a moment and tapping his foot to the music. He eyed his cup's contents, then back up to look around the room. He felt a little awkward standing around by himself now, so he started wandering aimlessly, taking a sip from his drink every now and then. He saw a girl standing off to the side also by herself, transfixed by her phone. He recognised her as Hazel Caldwell, a senior and from what he could tell, pretty cool. Nice and not quite as intimidating as some other people. He wandered over, trying to seem casual and came to a stop next to her, still keeping a good distance between them. He swayed on his feet for a moment, trying to think of something to say. "Hey." He blurted out after a moment. "Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to.. Hi. I just wanted to say hi because you were on your phone and I was thinking.. that.. I would just say hi." He said all this very quickly, closing his eyes for a second when he realised how everything just came out of his mouth.

....: Noah // "Felix and I!" Noah announced loudly as he swung his arm around Felix's shoulder, "We'll be getting drinks. Anyone else feeling anything?" He asked into the group, already pushing Felix towards the buffet. He didn't really wait for an answer as he continued, "No? Alright, we'll be right back!" He smiled big at his friends, gave Liam a a quick kiss. "Love you," he professed before walking away with Felix. Once far away enough, he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Okay. You're ruining the whole night."

////: Benji // He watched his friends' interaction with a grin, leaned back into his seat and sipping his spiked drink happily. "You're never an accomplice /by choice/, and you still always let this guy rope you into shit, man," he joined in on the joke, shoving Trevor back when he'd shoved Lucas prior. "Stop picking on people smaller than you." He laughed loudly when Trevor also almost spilled his drink. He looked over at Nancy, holding his cup up at her with a shake of the head. "I'm good, Nance, thanks."

////: Andy // "Yeah, can do with a refill." He hopped up with her, smiling at her. "M'going with you. Who else then? Trevooor, yes. Finish that, we'll get you another one."

////: Freya // "Yeah, he's so busy recently." She agreed with a slightly disgruntled look on her face, though she shrugged a few moments after. "Yeah. Yeah, possibly." The grin was back on her face at the thought of Kian coming for New Year's. "We've only talked about it, nothing's actually set. But he might.. Like you said, he's super busy with the club and he's not sure he can just not be on site yet, but we'll see. It'd be nice, that's for sure."

////: Felix // Felix let Noah push him towards the drinks a little reluctantly, looking at him with a slightly confused expression. Once his intentions became clear, he rolled his eyes at him. "Uh, you're ascribing me a bit much power here. I don't think I'm ruining an entire night. And also, I'm just not?"

....: Charlie // "Thanks man," Charlie thanked the person complimenting him on the game. As Dani spoke up, he turned to look at her and he couldn't fight a smile when he felt her arms around his waist. He reciprocated the affection by slinging his arm around her middle as he planted a kiss to the side of her head. "You played?" He asked, turning his attention to Alex, genuinely surprised by the information. "I had no idea, I didn't take you as a player," He mused with a grin.

....: Nolan // Nolan turned around to his friend when he pushed him, giving him a 'what the fuck was that for' face. "Okay. I'm already on it." Shaking his head, he ran a hand through his hair and made his way over to Tammi and Aly. Definitely feeling more nervous than he'd admit. "Hi, you two," he said, his voice friendly. "You look beautiful tonight." He looked at Aly with sincerity but his gaze momentarily dropped to his feet. "Uh. Your brother's DJing, right? Do you know if he takes song requests?"

....: Hazel // Hazel was so focused on her text conversation with Nick, she barely took notice of her surroundings. She bit on her nail as she watched Nick typing, an habit she's unsuccessfully trying to get rid of for years now. It wasn't until she saw someone from the corner of her stop next to her that she looked up. She only looked up for a split second and then returned her attention to her text conversation. Nick had stopped typing, but no new message. She eyed the person who's came to a halt next to her again when they started to sway. Who was he? Hazel had never seen the guy. "Hey." She said a little confused, but her features were soft and warm as she locked her phone and put it away. One second later, she felt it vibrate in her pocket, but this time she ignored it. "You're fine. Don't worry. I also don't like being the girl who's on the phone. I'm just. Trying to make a friend come." With a nod, she looked over the dance floor and then back at the guy. "Why are you by yourself?"

////: Aly // "Oh, thanks," she replied coyly, dropping her gaze and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. She looked at Tammi for a second out of the corner of her eye before smiling at Nolan again. "Oh yeah," She nodded at him, momentarily looking at Tammi again like she was entirely sure how to navigate this by herself. "Yeah, he is. Uhm.." She looked at Tammi once more. She knew Caleb was quite uptight about his music sometimes. "Yeah, I'm sure he would. Yeah, definitely. You can just ask him. What song do you want?"

[nightqueendany]

Daenerys in Winterfell Promo(s) Breakdown

Because of course I was going to do this, right? Close look at the promo(s), what we can see in the background, analysis, comparison to Robert’s arrival at Winterfell, and pretty anti-Jonsa because they’ve been posting the wildest bullshit all day and I’m not here for it.

1) The “King” Greets the “Lord” of Winterfell:

And they hug it out:

The difference in the above scenes is in 1x01, Robert is very clearly the King of the Seven Kingdoms and is a visitor in Winterfell. Jon, however, was King in the North - briefly - currently is Warden of the North, and Winterfell is his home. He is not a visitor here, he is returning.

Yet because even the angle of the shots is almost exact between the two, we’re most definitely meant to draw a parallel between them. And of course. according to D&D, Jon is the rightful King of the Seven Kingdoms (whereas Robert was a Usurper), he just doesn’t know it yet, however Sansa is undeniably the Lady of Winterfell no matter which way you look at it.

2) The Entourage

In the 1x01 scene, Robert has a whole slew of people behind him holding up both the Baratheon and Lannister banners. However, in the 8x01 scene, Daenerys is flanked only by Jorah - a disgraced lord from the north - and the only banners visible in the scene are Stark banners. Now, there are Stark banners visible in the 1x01 scene as well, but I think it’s interesting we don’t see the Targaryen banner in 8x01. Perhaps they are there but we just didn’t get them in this little clip.

However, under a Stark banner in the background is an Unsullied soldier:

That’s not a Northerner. Very different armor. Distinct Unsullied cap. So while there are two Northern soldiers in back of Dany and Jorah, Dany’s still got at least one of her men in the castle with her aside from Jorah. Jorah also seems to be entering beside Dany as her protector. His position to her left and a little behind mirrors Brienne’s position behind Sansa, and of course, Brienne is Sansa’s protector.

Which is interesting. Sansa is a Northerner protected by a Southerner and Dany is, for all intents and purposes, a Southerner, protected by a Northerner.

I think Jorah’s position at Dany’s side as she approaches Sansa and Jon is totally purposeful. It could have been Varys by Dany’s side, it could have been Tyrion, her Hand, it could have been Missandei announcing all Dany’s elaborate titles, it could have been anyone. But it’s Jorah. I think Jon, Dany, and Jorah would have decided on this entrance as it would show Dany’s connection to the North - a connection she’s had throughout the entire series since 1x01 - and that she isn’t just some Southern Queen who only wants to conquer and rule the North. She actually cares about the Northern people, enough to make one of them one of her closest friends and advisors, and is showcasing what he means to her by having him at her side. Again, it’s not Tyrion or Varys or Missandei. It’s Jorah.

Now, Side note:

I’ve seen lots of comments about Brienne here and I have to say, the Jonsas just don’t fucking know how to look at things from another character’s perspective! Like seriously, all they put forth are their dream headcanons and don’t even consider the facts.

So, Brienne. Let’s talk about dear Brienne for a moment.

First off, this could have gone one of two ways - either Brienne traveled back up the King’s Road with Podrick after the Dragonpit meeting as we didn’t see her after that scene OR she traveled with Jon and Dany back to Winterfell. I’m really curious to see which it is because honestly it could have gone either way.

Secondly, let’s talk about Brienne’s last encounter with Sansa, shall we? Last Brienne saw of Sansa, Sansa was essentially giving Brienne the boot, ordering her to go to King’s Landing - which, hello, could have been dangerous for Brienne as well as I’m sure Cersei would want Brienne dead for being close with Jaime and being Sansa’s protector! So there’s that. Also, Sansa was forcing Brienne away so Brienne couldn’t step in and protect Arya if she and Sansa escalated their feud. And lastly, this was at a time when Baelish’s tricks were at their most prominent, to the point where Brienne feared for Sansa’s safety should she leave Sansa alone with him. However, Sansa coldly dismissed Brienne to represent her interests at the Dragonpit meeting.

My thoughts? Brienne would likely not be too happy with Sansa. At the very least, she should be irritated with the way Sansa dismissed her like a common servant, not the woman who has attempted to keep her safe the last three goddamn seasons. At the most, Brienne may even have known about the drama with Arya and is disappointed with Sansa’s behavior, you know, almost killing her sister.

Anyway, moving on.

What are Brienne’s thoughts on Daenerys? Daenerys, unlike Sansa, showed up at the Dragonpit meeting in person. So plus 1 for Dany. Also, Daenerys was the epitome of calm and collected and fair during the meeting. Yes she rode in on a dragon, but she’s dealing with Cersei here. She’s got to show her strength. And not like Brienne has any love for Cersei anyway.

Brienne learns during this meeting that Dany has seen the army of the dead - all 100k of them. She may not know the circumstances under which Dany saw the dead, but that’s got to leave an impression. It tells Brienne that Daenerys cares enough to go see the enemy for herself and confirm it’s real and it’s serious. She knows that Daenerys is willing to put aside her quest for the Iron Throne so that she can help the Northerners fight the dead. And of course Brienne finds out that Jon - whom she’s described as “honorable” in the past - has bent the knee to Daenerys - under what circumstances, she doesn’t know.

But given what Brienne has found out about Dany in the span of this single meeting - she’s a badass bitch with dragons that could level the Red Keep at any moment should she wish - but that she hasn’t - that Dany has taken it upon herself to go North to see the Army of the Dead, and that Dany is willing to put aside her aspirations of becoming Queen of the Seven Kingdoms in order to fight the dead, it wouldn’t be difficult for Brienne to guess why Jon bent the knee - Dany’s a powerful ally, she cares about this fight, she’s willing to help. Of course Jon bent the knee.

Now, Brienne might take issue with Jon not lying to Cersei, her “fuck loyalty” line to Jaime seemed to point to as much as Jon’s loyalty to Dany was why Cersei left, but it doesn’t mean she would hold any hostility toward Daenerys.

So when Daenerys arrives at Winterfell in quite a different fashion than she did in King’s Landing, no entourage, no announcements, no dragons, Brienne should see the effort Daenerys is making in order to appear as an ally to the Northerners, not a threat. So all this talk of Brienne looking at Daenerys in disgust or looking at Sansa like she’s a queen, blah blah blah....is bullshit. No she fucking isn’t.

*Anyway, end of side note/rant on Brienne*

3) Entrance of a Queen

The differences between Cersei and Daenerys here are so striking. For 1) again, as stated above, Cersei, like Robert, has an entire entourage behind her, including her children. Dany’s dragons are nowhere to be seen - they’re likely flying above our chilling outside the castle gates but still, it’s an interesting contrast (more interesting given Dany’s likely already pregnant in this scene and doesn’t even know it yet). 2) Cersei is dressed in warmer clothing for the climate but she is still unmistakably showing off her Lannister pride. She’s in gold and red - Lannister colors - and it’s very obvious. Whereas Daenerys’ Targaryen touches are much much more subtle. She’s only got her red ascot/scarf thing and her red gloves, plus the red tint to the grooves of her coat. That’s it. She’s wearing her usual chain of status but her hair is blocking the three-headed-dragon on said chain. And of course, the majority of her outfit is the white coat.

Michelle Clapton, GOT costume designer, has said she designed Dany’s coat in such a way that it served two purposes: she wanted Dany to be a “vision” when she saved Jon beyond the Wall, a fierce warrior queen, and she wanted Dany’s outfit to call back to the white furs the wildlings wear, making Dany “one” with her surroundings - one with the Snow. Haha, get it. It’s a sex joke.

But anyway, the fact that Daenerys arrives at Winterfell donning this look, not the exact coat from 7x06, but a similar one, most definitely shows her continued affection for Jon and makes this excellent book parallel:

Then Ghost emerged from between two trees, with [Val] beside him. They look as though they belong together. Val was clad all in white; white woolen breeches tucked into high boots of bleached white leather, white bearskin cloak pinned at the shoulder with a carved weirwood face, white tunic with bone fastenings. Her breath was white as well … but her eyes were blue, her long braid the color of dark honey, her cheeks flushed red from the cold. It had been a long while since Jon Snow had seen a sight so lovely.

Sorry, I just love that quote. And if we don’t see some Ghost/Dany fluff in 8x01 with Dany in her pretty white “warrior queen” coat, I’m gonna fucking riot.

They are all convinced she is a princess. Val looked the part and rode as if she had been born on horseback. A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.

This coat of Dany’s is not just out of practicality because it’s cold. Her other coats seem equally warm, lined with fur and whatnot. No, this coat is sending a message, that message being: I’m with Jon, we’re in love, we are one, and I’m likely his new baby-mama. JK...but not really.

4) The Royal Couple

In the 1x01 scene, we don’t get a shot that has both Cersei and Robert in it. And in the shots where the two do address one another, their bodies are angled away from each other with only their heads turned in the other’s direction. The looks on their faces are ones of disdain and we can already tell, especially by Robert’s dismissal of Cersei’s “surely the dead can wait,” that there’s is not a happy union.

Daenerys and Jon however, are show standing side by side and they take up the majority of the shot - Cersei and Robert’s shots were from further back and were messy, cluttered with many other people - key characters - in the background, not just a few extras so far away we can’t even make out their faces.

Whereas Cersei and Robert were shown clearly at odds with one another, Daenerys and Jon are shown as a united front in front of Sansa. I wouldn’t go so far as to say this is structured in a “them vs her” type situation. But we’re most definitely meant to see Jon and Dany as a single unit - they’re even standing so close together you can’t even tell if they’re touching or not, which they may very well be - Jon could have his hand on Dany’s back, presenting her to Sansa or something, as he did in the EW cover, etc.

Their bodies are angled toward each other, especially Jon - only his head is turned to Sansa, the rest of his body is turned toward Dany. And of course, everyone is going to make of Jon’s expression what they will because hey, it’s fandom. But I think the body language says it all. He’s facing what he cares about and wants to protect most in this moment: Dany.

One parallel I would DIE if it happened...is if right after the intros in the courtyard here, Sansa - or someone - told Jon that Bran/Sam wanted to meet him in the crypts. Robert ignored Cersei to go see Lyanna’s resting place. It would be RIDICULOUS if Jon is pulled away from Dany to go to Lyanna’s resting place, to find out then and there who exactly he is....what would make it better still? If, unlike Cersei, Dany accompanied Jon - either because he wanted her to come with him or because she wanted to go and pay her respects to the Starks her father had killed - Brandon and Rickard. Like honestly, just thinking about this possibility gives me goosebumps. Please please please! Yes it would kick start the drama right from the get go but damn, it would be an incredible parallel.

5) The Nod

I’ve seen lots of posts already about Dany’s nod to Sansa, some neutral, most of it terrible. Either Dany’s “intimidated” by Sansa and is “gulping” and fearful after Sansa’s icy welcome and Sansa “putting Dany in her place” or “murdering” Dany with her look or whatever...OR Dany is “smug” and “stealing” Sansa’s home and is an “entitled bitch” for waltzing into Winterfell and “taking” what isn’t hers, etc. etc.

Which, for one, dumb fucks, make up your mind. Which the fuck is it? Is Dany scared of Sansa? Or is Dany smug that Sansa is “giving away her home” to her? Pick one. You can’t have it both ways. They literally contradict each other.

Dumb fucks.

Anyway.

What I found interesting, was that Dany’s nod seemed to parallel this moment with Olenna from 7x02:

Dany’s nod to Sansa isn’t Dany being intimidated or being entitled or whatever other nonsense the antis have cooked up. It’s the same exact nod she gave Olenna after Olenna told her the people of Westeros wouldn’t obey her unless they feared her. This is Dany’s nod of acknowledgement. This is her “I respect you” nod while at the same time remaining regal yet possibly at odds with the person in front of her because of fundamental differences in their beliefs.

The only difference between Dany’s nod to Olenna and Dany’s nod to Sansa is that, with Olenna there was no awkward element of Dany trying to pretend she hadn’t just spent the last month fucking Olenna’s brother who’s standing right next to her and likely has his hand on her ass. JK JK...but seriously.

And last but not least

6) The “Wedding” Set-Up

Special acknowledgement to THIS Jonsa post about this topic for doing nearly all the work for me.

Dany is in a white frock - very wedding-ish

Jorah is at Dany’s side as she walks up to Jon and Sansa, as if “giving” Dany away to Jon.

Jon and Dany stand side-by-side before Jon’s eldest relative (since his father’s dead and in Northern weddings, the father conducts the wedding ceremony). So Jon and Dany standing before Sansa appears as if she’s the one who’s marrying them. Which, in all likelihood, she will be. 

Now, of course the Jonsa post argues Dany is “interrupting” the Jon/Sansa moment and she is “coming in between” the two of them, that Jon and Sansa appear as a “unit” here as Dany walks up but..

^^This^^ Looks way less “unit-y” than this:

Also, the argument that it appears Dany is “coming in between Jon and Sansa” and is interrupting them...uhh...

Next we have ^^This^^ where Sansa is literally in between Jon and Dany.

The Jonsa post says Dany looks “insignificant” in the above photo of her walking up, as if she would be “insignificant” to Jon and couldn’t possibly shake the solid and sure relationship he has with Sansa and that Sansa is an Amazon goddess and Dany is a puny nobody.

But yeah, no. Even in the shot with Jon and Sansa looking at Dany as she approaches...that’s the thing. Jon is watching Dany approach. He turns his body fully away from Sansa to watch Dany walk up. And even gives his little head nod of approval as he sighs:

Jon is like, Yep, that’s the woman I’m gonna marry right there.

And as Kit said, they return to Witnerfell as “not-so-secret lovers.”

But anyway, throughout the rest of the clip, he continues to have his body angled toward Daenerys and is presented as one with her, on the same level as her, not Sansa.

It’s as if, after their hug, Jon distances himself from Sansa to put himself closer to Daenerys. Because of course he would. Because he’s not fucking in love with his sister, he’s in love with Dany.

If we don’t get the parentage reveal right after this scene, I imagine the scene following it will be one which first brings mention of a potential “marriage alliance.” The way Jon and Daenerys stand before Sansa is just too perfect for it not to be brought up. Hell, out of context, it almost looks as if Jon and Dany are asking for Sansa’s blessing. And of course, Baelish didn’t utter that line in 7x07 for it to never get brought up again. A marriage alliance will get brought up, and haters can hate all they want, but it will likely be a discussion prompted by Sansa.

Anyway, that’s all I have guys. Tell me your thoughts.

[toaquiprashippar]

“daenerys is a villain, she burns things and executed people...”

Honestly, I don’t know how people are not tired of using this argument. Should we make a list of everyone that has executed or send someone to execute people? 

Jon Snow executed the people who killed him, and he also executed Janos Slynt for not obbeying his orders as Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch.

Arya Stark executed Littlefinger, a room full of Freys and Walder Frey himself, not to mention everyone else she has already killed. 

Sansa had Littlefinger executed, also let’s not forget how she sent Ramsay’s dogs to “execute”/eat him alive. (not that I wept for any of those deaths)

Robb executed Lord Karstark and he killed a whole bunch of people at war. 

Hells, even Catelyn Stark wanted to execute Tyrion, but he was too smart to let himself die like that.

Brienne killed a lot and we know it. She did become a Kingsguard and you don’t become a Kingsguard without some decent amount of blood on your hands or at least the ability to kill. 

Podrick killed, let’s not even discuss Bronn. 

Cersei burnt down THE FUCKING SEPT OF BAELOR, YUP. Like the Vatican, bae had the audacity. Not to mention everyone else she had killed, from a veery young age *melara hetherspoon*

Jaime executed the mother fucking Mad King. Not to mention everyone else he’s killed his entire life both as a Kingsguard and as Jaime himself. 

NED executed the Night’s Watch deserters and I bet all of yours asses how he killed a bunch of people at Robert’s Rebellion and also at the Greyjoy Rebellion.

Tywin Lannister would send someone to die for breakfast.

The Mountain executed as a midnight snack. (Do you call what he did to Elia and the kids execution? I call it murder.) 

The Hound is a fine killer, I have no idea of his body count but damn is bigger than most... 

Gendry has killed. Davos has killed. Meera has killed. Lysa has killed, she was the one to poison Jon Arryn... and oh so many others I can’t recall rn... 

Oh, let’s not forget Littlefinger, shall we? If we’re counting bodies, we just know he was the one to cause the War of the Five Kings so he might have the highest number rn... 

Oberyn Martell has killed a lot, he was known as the Red Viper. You don’t get a name like that unless you’re lethal af. 

HELLS, TYRION KILLED SHAE AND HIS OWN FATHER. 

The list is fucking long, most of all your faves have killed more times than I’ve changed my clothes and I do it a lot. This is Westeros, sweeties, everyone kills everyone. Don’t go ranting on how murderous Daenerys is because Daenerys is a fucking survivor. We’re not discussing everyone’s motives to kill whoever they killed or sent to be executed, so why would you discuss Daenerys’? 

She was persecuted her entire life, just for being alive. She survived all sorts of horrors one can imagine: she was raped, beaten, used, sold, manipulated and all sorts of things you can imagine. Don’t you dare call Dany a murderer because she executed two people who decided to die instead of bend the knee to the cause of a deserving Queen instead of a crazy bitch (whom I love, Cersei is that bitch you hate to love and you love to hate, Martin is brilliant with his villains) who blew up a Sept full of innocent people MEANWHILE DAENERYS WAS AT WAR. 

Don’t blame Daenerys for burning men who live for rape and kill who thought themselves worthy of deciding what her life should be like. 

Don’t blame Daenerys for making the best out of all the shit life threw her way.

Daenerys is not just a survivor, she’s a fighter. She fights for her rights but she also fight for what is right. 

“She freed slaves only to slave them again”. Well, fuck you. She is not the Master of the Unsullied or the Dothraki. She freed them all and they decided she was worthy of their loyalty. You doubt me? She asked Missandei if she wanted to go home because she would send her home in a blink of an eye. Instead, she stayed, not because she was made but because she wanted to. Missandei loves Daenerys, as does her followers. 

AS DOES JON SNOW, sorry for your bitterness, but Daenerys is not just the Mother of Dragons, she is the BREAKER OF CHAINS, BRIDE OF FIRE, SLAYER OF LIES, THE UNBURNT and she and Jon will rule Westeros, not just because they can conquer the Throne their ancestor built, but because they deserve it. They earned it. 

You can bitch about it but nothing you say can take away her merit, hon. So, why not just stop it? It’s 2019, get over it. 

[argentvive]

Dany’s Alchemist Illyrio: An Alchemist for Tyrion Too? Pt 1

I’ve just started A Dance with Dragons, and who turns up again--finally!--but Illyrio.  It’s been a long time since I talked about him and identified him as one of Dany’s alchemists, so for recent followers, here’s what I wrote.  

Illyrio Mopatis is a rich merchant of Pentos, who shelters Daenerys and Viserys at his home.  He then brokers her marriage to Drogo, fulfilling the alchemist’s  role of putting her into the crucible.  (Does anyone think Viserys has the smarts or negotiating skill to make that arrangement?)    

What is Illyrio’s motivation for helping the impoverished Targaryen heirs?  All we’re told is that he is seeking the Targaryen restoration in hope of being named Master of Coin.  (This is actually a bit of an alchemy joke.  A real alchemist would be the best possible choice for Master of Coin, since he could  use his transmutation skills to produce all the gold and silver any monarch could need.)

I wonder whether there is more to the story.  How do the two come under his protection in the first place?  And where exactly is the house with the Red Door? How was Daenerys educated?  Jon was taught duty and right from wrong by Ned Stark, Maester Luwin and the rest.  Who did the same for Daenerys?  Maybe we’ll find out more when the final books are published.  As of now, though, we can definitely say that Daenerys had far less guidance than Jon–and terrible guidance actually when you think of Viserys’ endless I am the dragon rants.  It’s no wonder she acts erratically from time to time.  

Illyrio turning Dany over to Drogo and the scythe-wielding Dothraki formally places her in the NIGREDO (black) stage.  (The scythe is standard iconography for the god Saturn, who is a symbol for the nigredo; see my earlier post.)  Illyrio doesn’t leave her defenceless.  As her alchemist he must give her a gift–and it’s a doozy.  He gives her three dragon eggs as a wedding present, though as far as we know he doesn’t realize they are alive and hatchable. 

The eggs eventually become not only her children but the source of her power.  Illyrio’s gift is even more significant than Mormont’s gift of Longclaw to Jon, though in both cases our heroes receive a weapon.  

After playing his crucial role selling Dany to the Dothraki in GOT, we don’t see Illyrio again until Tyrion I of ADWD.  Jaime and Varys rescue Tyrion from King’s Landing and have him transported in a round wine cask across the sea.

The world went round and round as the cask rolled downward....

Tyrion ends up at Illyrio’s house.  On the show, Illyrio doesn’t appear and his role in goading Tyrion to change his life is taken by Varys.

 I will discuss the scene as it appears in the book, not the show.

Tyrion’s name is quite alchemical, as I’ve discussed before.  (Tyrion is a homonym for Tirian, the king of Narnia, and both spellings refer to Tyrian purple, the red-purple color of the Philosopher’s Stone.) But until now, I haven’t noticed Tyrion going through the usual stages and experiences of being an alchemy hero.  He loses his nose-a minor dismemberment--but that’s about all.

In Tyrion I, however, alchemy is everywhere.  He wanders into the walled courtyard and sees a woman “washing clothes at a well.”  This is promising: washing clothes symbolizes the washing of the Stone.  You may remember Mrs. Weasley washing the Trio’s clothes in the final Harry Potter book.  Laundry day didn’t add anything to the plot; Rowling simply included it as a nod to Plate 21 in the famous Splendor Solis series.  

http://www.hermetics.org/solis/solis21.html

Tyrion talks to her about what he should do now, join the Night Watch perhaps? 

“...Do you think I might stand taller in black my lady?...Shall I atone for old sins or make some new ones?”

This is very clever.  GRRM has already established the Night Watch as the nigredo experience for Jon Snow: the brothers all wear black, they are called crows, most live in Castle Black, and Jon undergoes the Black Death there.  Is Tyrion experiencing his own nigredo now?   He is certainly questioning his past life and thinking about his life to come.  He speaks to the laundry “flapping on the line.” 

Next he spies some mushrooms.  After a glancing mention of black, we now get white and red.  Albedo and rubedo?  

...he saw some mushrooms growing up from a cracked paving tile.  Pale white they were, with speckles, and red-ribbed undersides dark as blood.  The dwarf snapped one off and sniffed it.  Delicious, he thought, and deadly.

As far as I know, mushrooms are not a symbol of anything in alchemy.  Adam McLean’s website identifies only one use of mushrooms symbolically, in Shigeo Otake’s Kinoko Tarot of 1995, which includes 22 paintings, each associated with a species of mushroom.  The chance that GRRM knew about this is close to nil, I think.

GRRM needs a way to test Tyrion, however, and poisonous mushrooms is a way to do it.  He makes sure to let us know that Tyrion believes them to be “deadly.”  

Up to now, Tyrion has been consistently portrayed as a drinker, whoremonger, and master of sarcasm and cutting insults.  But after his time in the wine barrel, this begins to change.  He refuses the bedmate Illyrio has sent him, and swallows the insult that comes to his mind: “The words were on his tongue, but somehow never passed his lips.”  (Something similar happened with Jaime along his path to transformation.)  Instead, he asks for a bath.

Yes, a bath--the easiest and most common way GRRM incorporates the dissolution stage of solve et coagula into the books.   After the bath, we see a few small changes in Tyrion.  A stark realization--I despise myself--and a confession to his murder of Shae.  

He is now ready for the dinner with Illyrio that will forever change the direction of Tyrion’s life.  Illyrio is revoltingly fat, but among the many rings he wears are a ruby and a sapphire, symbols of the Philosopher’s Stone.  He wastes no time in getting to the point:

“There are troubles in the east. Astapor has fallen, and Meereen. Ghiscari slave cities that were old when the world was young.”

When Tyrion points out that “Slaver’s Bay is a long way from Pentos,” Illyrio responds with a metaphor that recalls the most basic idea of alchemy, the One.

“...the world is one great web, and a man dare not touch a single strand lest all the others tremble.”

Or as the English metaphysical poet John Donne puts it, “No man is an island.”

No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. 

[emsondraeling]

GoT Episode 8x05: A Super-Long, Edited Edition

Soooo....I read ASoIAF when I was 14-16, because my parents were reading them and Hey Look, They’re Making a Show and It Looks Real Good. Aside from short clips, I didn’t actually watch the series until about season 6. I’ve always enjoyed the dragons and morally complex characters. I’ve liked the rape and latent misogyny quite a lot less. 

I usually try to stay away from particularly “I’m mad at the creators and here’s why they’re canceled” fannish content, partly because I quite literally don’t have time for it and also because I just kind of...think individual interpretations are good as long as we don’t get too entitled about it. Everyone has a version of the story they want to see, and sometimes the best people to tell a story aren’t the ones doing it, and we just sort of have to live/let live/make fic to our heart’s content if we really can’t get behind canon.

ANYWAYS--this has all been to clarify the fact that I’m not just going to be bashing the show runners here, even if I didn’t enjoy the last couple episodes (and sometimes the GoT world as a whole). Plenty of other people are doing that. It’s a hard show to run, to be sure, and I’m not interested in yelling about them online. Instead, I’m more interested in other ways things could have gone in the episode, considering the characters, their arcs, and general themes of the show.

Tl:dr: these are just the things I would have changed about the most recent episode without completely rewriting it, because I have a lot of angry feels about canon and this is a productive way to channel it/exercise my storytelling muscles, while I procrastinate on Real Work.

Beware spoilers and pure wish-fulfillment fantasy below the cut

Varys Gets Toasty

this part I’m actually ok with. Am I sad to see Varys, as a pretty unique and influential character, go? Yes. 

At the same time, he’s...kind of a shitty ‘servant to the people.’ I would have liked to see him called out on that--more explicitly, I’d have liked a Dany Jon Tyrion scene discussing his treason, and pointing out the fact that he jumps ship as soon as a ruler heads in a direction he does not approve of (this would also re-establish complexity in this trifecta of relationships beyond “Scary ruler and the two men who alternatively serve/betray her”). 

Varys has, by his own admission, served the most kings out of anyone--but he keeps trying to play the game, rather than make real change by improving an existing ruler. 

^These are things the show has already pointed out, but I think they need to be re-emphasized. Dany might not be the crown’s best option, but Varys would really jump ship for Jon “Knows Nothing Stop Giving Him Unqualified Leadership Positions” Snow, and that doesn’t help anyone in the realm, imo.

So...Let’s Talk About Missandei

Um. So the bit with the collar was good and symbolic. 

But can someone MENTION her??? Jeeeeeeesus.

Again, a little tweak: have Jon try to bring her up, recognizing the (crazy) amount of loss Dany has suffered over the past few weeks (yeesh). Maybe have Tyrion allude to it as well, in more explicit terms.

More on this later.

The Queen and her Hand

Rather than just a “If you fail me again [it’s hinted that I’ll murder you]” I would have changed this to:

Dany: “I know you’ll find a way to see him. It seems increasingly difficult to keep the surviving Lannisters apart.”

Tyrion, internally: shit.

Dany: “I am running out of allies, Tyrion. Even fewer are the number of people I still have some modicum of faith in.”

Tyrion: double shit. Also, Jaime, you idiot, I finally got you a good gf and you give me this?!

Dany: “I trust that when you return from visiting your brother, I will still be able to count you among those few.”

Tyrion: ?!

Dany: “Do we understand each other?”

Tyrion: “...yes, your Grace.” *insert one of those half-smile things Peter Dinklage does super well* “I shall endeavor not to fail you. Again.”

Dany: “See that you don’t...If you were to fail me, it might be the last time.”

^This would both re-establish their relationship (who else does Dany have in corner?! Seriously?!) and keep the implied threat.

THE SIEGE

(oof, here’s where I really go off the rails)

The Build-Up

Actually pretty good. Not a lot of critique.

Melted Iron Fleet

Have a missile fired by Euron come scarily close to Drogon. Maybe a couple close up shots of Euron all angry and Dany smirking before she roasts the goat.

Bell-Toll

The thing I have the biggest issue with, tbh

Keep Dany on a landed Drogon, having that beautiful crisis of conscience as portrayed by Emilia

But when Drogon takes off again, make it clear she’s made her decision to burn everyone... 

Fire and Blood

...but don’t. (Like, seriously, so many better ways to have her be a mad queen. Logically this didn’t make sense to me. She’s pissed at Cersei, pretty traumatized, very paranoid. This =/= torching King’s Landing.)

Zoom in on Dany’s face. Cut to the flames and burning golden company. 

Closer on Dany’s eyes, then back to the flames. She opens her mouth to say, “Dracar--”

and then we shift to a flashback. Missandei, riding alongside her, smiling gently. Grey Worm looking at her best friend with eyes full of love. Jorah. The Mhysa moment. The Dothraki bowing as she emerges from fire not once, but twice. Missandei again, this time correcting her pronunciation.

Dany’s eyes fill with tears instead of fire. She stops, pulls the dragon around, and soars back over to the outer wall. Away from the Red Keep.

Surrender?

The Bell keeps tolling. More swords are dropped. Jon looks relieved. Except.

Cut to Cersei. Her lip curls at Dany’s retreat.

 “She could have made it so easy,” she tells Pycelle. “Do it.”*

Cut back to Jon. The ground shakes, the air rumbles. Jon looks around in confusion. Drogon isn’t back? So what...?

The building next to them explodes with Wildfire. Daenerys’ forces are shocked, as are Cersei’s. 

More explosions wrack the city--Cersei did not give up every member of the Golden Company to a frontal assault, nor did she use up every reserve of Wildfire--torch-bearing mercenaries set long fuses of oil alight, deep beneath the city.

Age-old structures burn to ruin. Families are incinerated where they cower.

Cersei won’t let Daenerys be queen of anything but ashes.

*(I think it’s ridiculous that Cersei had no backup plan. Really? She already said she doesn’t care much about anything anymore. This includes the common people. She would have them burn anyways--and fire is such a convenient thing to blame on the Dragon Queen)

A Blood-Soaked City

No one knows what’s happening, what with all the confusion and explosions. A panicking Northman runs forward, towards the Lannisters, yelling about betrayal. He’s killed as a Lannister soldier grabs a sword from the abandoned pile.

Grey Worm wastes no time, sending the Unsullied back into the fray. 

Jon yells for the Northmen to stop, but he has no control. No one does.

Similar events as to the show, but besides saving a Landing woman from rape, Jon watches as his men die, as innocent bystanders die, and hears Cersei’s words echoing back: “He will remain in the North where he belongs. He will not take up arms against the Lannisters.”

Cersei releases more members of the Golden Company into the city, where they kill indiscriminantly.

Grey Worm responds with equal ferocity, fighting like something inhuman--even cutting down the common folk that get in his way.

there is a moment where he pauses, sees slaughtered civilians alongside the dead soldiers. He blinks. And then he turns around and keeps killing.

Jon yells for order, for something, for Dany, maybe. It doesn’t matter.

-I might followup with some more ranting, but these were the thoughts off the top of my head that I wanted to release into the universe. Apologies.

[phantombreadproject]

Christmas Truce Gift

@squirrelgirlesbian I'm so sorry! I explained breifly in my ask why this was late, and all I can say now again is sorry. Technically, this is a little later than midnight eastern time, but here it is! I hope I did your prompt justice here!

***

“Now, Dani!”

“I'm trying!”

“I am Technus, master of all things technological! I'm here to take over the world with what you call innovation!” Technus shouted. The trio of people looked on, frozen in their battle positions. Their faces didn't contain determined looks after the ghost shouted. They all had bored expressions as they looked at him.

“I just shouted out my plans again, didn't I?”

“Yeah! And we thank you for that!” Dani Phantom said, a smile growing on her face. She summoned an ectoblast and threw it at the nearest floating electronic device. Like most electronics do when they're smashed, it broke. Technus didn't mind, though. He had an army of them at his disposal. With grins on each side, the fighting continued.

Danny was on ground support duty this time, along with Jazz. He was taking a much needed break, and as a bonus he got to train his new sister to help fight the ghosts with him. The Fenton family hadn't officially adopted Dani yet, but Danny had stopped thinking about her as a cousin long ago. There was no use in denying the strong bond they shared.

Technus grinned before going invisible. An ectoblast that Dani had just fired hit the side of a building. Technus gained visibility again, appearing behind the team. He shot a shield of electronic devices at Jazz, and a ghostly one at Danny.

“Let them go!” Dani shouted as the shields wrapped around their targets. Technus paused, as if considering doing what she asked.

“I shall not!” He finally responded. He then put out his arms and summoned all of his technology to make a giant robot around him. Dani gazed up at its face. It was bigger than her, Danny, and Jazz all standing on top of each other. She kept her doubts internal, and continued the fight.

Meanwhile, Danny was happy and proud of his sister. Jazz was still enclosed in her technology shield, so she couldn't see what was happening, but Danny could easily see through the translucent ghost shield around him. Better yet, Technus had forgotten to make the shield extend into the ground, so he could just phase out whenever he wanted. He decided to let Dani have her moment, and intervene if things got too bad.

“You'll never control the world, or Amity Park,” Dani said, throwing a remote control at Technus. She took after her brother in the pun department. Danny was proud.

Technus caught the remote, and stared at it for a few seconds.

“You're using my tech against me, child?” He asked.

“Well yeah. I use what I can find.”

Technus stared at her for another second before shrugging. “Fair enough,” he responded, resuming the fight. Dani recovered as quick as she could, but Technus was faster. She was swatted into another wall. Luckily, she remembered to turn intangible. She went straight through the wall.

Danny decided he was lonely and bored, so he sunk into the ground and joined Jazz in her technological shield.

“She's doing really well out there,” he said as he came up from the earth. Jazz nearly had a heart attack as he solidified once more.

“Danny, you can't just do that! Also, not everyone can see what's happening out there,” Jazz replied, still shocked by her brother’s sudden appearance. Danny smiled sheepishly, and phased his head out of the shield so he could see outside. He had switched into his ghost form to provide Jazz with light in her dark prison. He caught sight of Dani suck Technus up in a Fenton thermos. He smiled and saw that his shield had disappeared with Technus.

Dani turned over to Jazz's shield, and pointed the Fenton thermos at it, with the full intention of getting it removed from Jazz. Danny realized what was happening a little too late.

“Wait!”

Dani activated the thermos, catching Danny in the beam along with the technology. When everything was in the thermos, Jazz and Dani were left laughing. A faint cry for help sounded from the thermos, but the girls ignored it.

“Good job out there, little sister. How about we go get some ice cream to celebrate, just the two of us?” Jazz asked, saying it louder than normal so Danny could hear. Dani grinned and changed back into her human form.

“Sounds like a plan!”

***

Bonus because I'm so sorry that this is as late as it is:

“I can't believe the boy didn't even beat me! A clone. A freaking clone. She even dared use my technology against me!” Technus ranted. The mechanical ghost next to him smiled.

“I'll make sure to capture the whelp and his sister next time I hunt him.” Skulker said. Technus smiled.

“I knew I could count on you.”

[comradecowplant]

WELL it was an easy read and I finished the book already. I gotta do a classic Dani Vents About a Story post that will include significant spoilers, so be careful if you are reading/want to read The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargraves. I’m about to bitch about it a lot, but overall it was an interesting book that I’d still (mostly) recommend if you have an interest in historical fiction surrounding the Norwegian witch trials.

Most of it was really good, although a few theme threads and character arcs completely fell apart in the final act. I knew it was going to be dark-- again, 17th century witch trial shit-- but the actual “murder my favorite characters” bit thankfully didn’t begin until pretty late in the story, which lets the focus remain more on the lives of the women vs their horrific deaths. The author does a (mostly) great job at creating interesting characters you fall in love with, and succeeded immensely at bringing the landscape and village of Vardo to life.

BUT 

IN THE LAST LITERAL FOUR PAGES, THE NARRATIVE TOOK ALL THE MEANING THAT THE PROTAGANISTS HAD CREATED OUT OF THEIR HARDSHIPS AND THREW IT OVER A CLIFF (LITERALLY! & EACH USE OF THIS WORD HERE HAS BEEN THE PROPER USE. although i guess a fictional event cannot be truly ‘literal’ BUT WHATEVER I AM NOT GETTING LOST IN THE WEEDS WITH PEDANTICS). I am so fucking mad, and it serves as a reminder to why I typically don’t read/watch many period pieces these days, unless it is a period setting in a fantasy/sci fi world. So many people think that in order to bE rEaLiStIc when writing about periods in history, you simply MUST be as grimdark as possible, especially with conclusions, but I find that perspective boring and uncreative as hell. Bitch it’s already fiction! it’s already lies! you are god in the universe you write, have some courage and don’t concede to established tropes that center on garish suffering to define the experiences of historically (& contemporaneously) marginalized people! At least in a medieval-set fantasy story, you get the vibes of the historical setting, but also your friends can swoop by on a dragon and rescue the innocent pants-wearing fisherwoman who is about to be burned alive by the racist woman-hating church.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love a story with a messy & unhappy ending. I even love an occasional grimdark story! But as I get older, I see & feel more the evils which inspired these historical events and how they still burden our world today, and I do not enjoy spending my free time reading/watching movies that are centered on suffering for suffering’s sake-- if I want a story about senseless violence & the underdogs who never win, I will just turn on the fucking news. SO, for me, the dark stories I do enjoy cannot just be traumaporn in a difference shell, the darkness has. to. make. sense. You can’t spend 300 pages on a woman overcoming her grief of losing her brother/father/fiancé/half her village & learning how to be a #StrongIndependantWoman, then have her just kill herself on the last page. It just isn’t narratively good, it just isn’t! And to be clear, the author could have gone WAYYYYYYYY darker in many places throughout the book & did not even come close to going full grimdark. I think overall she greatly succeeded at balancing hope & hopelessness. It was done so well in fact that I was lulled into a false sense of security that maybe just maybe there might be a way out for our ladies, a conclusion that didn’t end with the kind of complete misery that historic fiction tends to skew towards. But there is this overwhelming sense in the final few pages that, probably due to the aforementioned loyalty to perceived “historical accuracy”, she hadn’t included enough suffering (even though there is PLENTY of tragedy to go around by that point) & she didn’t know how to finish the story. So when in doubt, kill 👏 those 👏 gays 👏 (although we don’t know the fate of the other woman, who has entire chapters given from her perspective, but Meren just says bye & we never hear about Ursa again 😤)

Which brings us to, yeah, it did have gay shit like I thought, and up until the garbage of the last four pages, it was a very touching romance. But it too concluded in a way that is only satisfying if you squint, and adds to the inconsistencies that I mentioned above. I’ve never in my life said this before, and it makes me ill to even type this, but, *sob* it probably would have been a better story if the two women had remained platonic friends and no touch-a the booba. I know a lot of people think I’m One of Those cringe queers who will read/watch absolute garbage just if there is a queer person (which tbf I definitely also do sometimes, & it’s actually very valid of me, thank u very much), but if that were true I would have finished that awful Warming Trend book that I blogged about like 2 years go, or read any of the hundreds of stupid “subtext” trash that folks like to recommend, or ship Supercorp (no offense to anyone who ships them, I get it, Katie McGrath is hot, but come on, there is a perfectly good lesbian already on the show), or watched Glee. No, I do actually have some standards--  Are they super high, as a love-starved reader/viewer who uses romantic fiction as a primary means of escapism/coping with my shitty life? No, lmao. But as a writer, and as a queermo, nothing grinds my gears more than a badly executed lgbtq+ storyline.

Anyway, I just finished the book an hour ago so my crankiness & disappointment is raw and thus I am all over the place with this rant. I hope I’m not coming off as being too hard on the author, because despite it’s flaws, I am very glad to have serendipitously found The Mercies, and I look forward to checking out KMH’s other works. It’s been a long time since I’ve dug into a book and read it in just a few sittings like I did this, repeating “just one more chapter” for hours until it’s suddenly 3 am, and despite the fuckery to my sleep schedule it contributes to, the feeling is good-- it brings me back to simpler times when I actually was able to experience an ease from the constant uneasiness I always carry in my chest. Idk, moral of the story is that reading is fun, & when I get stuck in my Bad Turns & don’t read for months, it becomes easy to forget how much solace can come from a mid-quality but seductive (not in a horny way. but sometimes also in a horny way, lol) novel. Like, most of my reading these days is miserable 20th century theory or other academic/non-fiction writing related to our depressing capitalist hellscape & impending climate disaster, and The Mercies helped me remember that my roots lie in fiction. It also has me inspired to revisit a couple of historical fictions projects I have laying around, aND MAKE A WOMAN-EMPOWERMENT, ANTI-RACIST, QUEER AS HELL PERIOD FICTION PEICE THAT DOES NOT END IN COMPLETE GARBAGE! And in the meantime, I shall be revisiting the works of Sarah Waters, the only bad bitch I know of who writes queer historical fiction without relinquishing her characters solely to the suffering they experience ✌ 

If anyone has read this far and has any books/authors to recommend (wlw focused preferably, historical fiction or any genre as long as the story itself doesn’t rely on the tropes I touched on, recently published also preferably bc I have a long list of older books/authors but i don’t keep up with new releases like I should, & a lot of the ones I know are white & cis so PLEASE send reccs for more diverse stories/authors if you have them) 

[blogthelongnight-blog]

My full crazy review of Beyond the Wall

WARNING! I’m going to be ripping into this episode. If you can’t take criticism of the show this is not the review for you. You have been warned. Also, sorry for any typos. I was pissed when I wrote this.

---------------------

So, we start off with the most pointless five seconds of table top action then cut straight to beyond the wall were our not so intelligent heroes (I thought this was stupid from the beginning. At least take an army or some shit. What were you guys expecting? A walk in a fronze park) wander through the frozen wasteland in search of wights.

Now, I can actually say that I enjoyed some of the dialogue in this scene. That being said, there is a very stupid piece of dialogue in this that made me facepalms so hard it left a mark. But that's later. Next we get a great sense between Arya and Sansa talking about Ned. I really liked the talk about Ned. I even teared up a little. Until, of course, Arya decides to go full crazy and ruins it with a level of stupidity that legit gave me a headache.

I don't care how cool an assassin is. When they are acting this stupid and their motivations and emotions are this fucking easy to manipulate and change, that idiot does not deserve my respect. Arya is utterly insane and intolerable this season. She's a bully, she's a psycho and I'm pretty much done with her which is a pity because she used to be one of my favorites "I'm going to forgive these rando Lannister soldiers because they have families and stuff. But the sister I saw screaming, crying and begging for my father's life? Nope. She's a traitor. Fuck Sansa." - Arya, season 7. Hypocrite... Fuck you, Arya.

Now we are back beyond the wall and Tormund and the Hound give the best set of dialogue in the whole episode. I love their talk together. Especially the talk about Brienne. I will ship Tormund and Brienne forever and hope that they have awesome giant ginger badass babies together. Sadly, that's when it turns from my favorite piece of dialogue to my least favorite. "You don't look much like him. Your father." - Beric Dondarrion, Episode 6, beyond the wall. That's TOTALLY why they believed he was Ned's bastard forever without question and TOTALLY why Cat couldn't even look at him without getting pissed. Totally. Makes perfect sense. -sarcasm- After this we get a scene with "The most morale man in the universe" and Dany. Nothing really to complain about beyond Tyrion hypocrisy again.

"You don't want to be the queen of the ashes," Tyrion, season 6-7 "If anything happens to you we burn King's Landing to the ground." Tyrion, season 7 episode 6 "if we want to create a better world I don't think deceit and mass murder is the right way." - 10 seconds later. I did kind of enjoy the "he's too short" line though. I laughed a little. Such bad dialogue. I can't even. I do agree that burning the Tarlys was necessary in that situation and that Tyrion is right and she needs to start thinking like her enemies more so I'll give them a bit of credit for mentioning those at least. Otherwise it's just pointless bickering again.

Back beyond the wall and all of the sudden unimpressive jump scare bear! Has GoT really sunk so low that they need to use that boring horror trope? Yup. Looks like it. I felt like I was watching the Revenant again only you could actually see what was happening in that movie. Not so much here. That's not the only with this scene though. After the first red shirt goes down, Thoros of My gets attacked by the bear before it gets taken out finally. That bear mails the hell out of his arm and all Beric needs to do is use his flaming sword to burn it shut and it's just fine. Thoros gets pulled up like it ain't nothing and he's walking around like it's a flesh wound. All searing does is close the wound. Thoros would be in agony but this is only shown when he's being THROWN ABOUT BY THE POLAR BEAR. Why is he all of the sudden just fine!? Jesus fucking Christ D&D. How stupid do you think we are? How much crap do you think we are going to take before we feel like our intelligence is being insulted? Anyways, back at Winterfell Sansa and Petyr are talking. It's a pretty legit talk but I'm wondering why Sansa is doing it with Petyr. All season she's been treating him like he doesn't matter and now she's giving him an opening for his bullshit. At least he's trying to be intelligent about it this time, choosing the supportive route rather than the "they are the enemy" bullshit. It's clever manipulate in a way. Good on you mate. You aren't a complete waste of screen time anymore.

And beyond the wall again with the fellowship of the wight (ugh...)! Thoros backstory. I approve. But then the wights come in and an epic battle starts! Or not... The White Walker commander gets killed and most of them crumble except for one. Well, isn't that strangely convenient and very lame? Why, yes. Yes it is. And trust me. That's not the only problem I have in relation to the wights and white walkers this episode. I am not impressed or intimidated at all and that's a HUGE problem. So, they catch themselves a wight and tie it up. Cool. Whatever. You have what you need. But Snow hears something coming and sends Gendry off to... Send a letter to Daenarys? -headdesks and shakes head- Are you serious? Seriously. Are you fucking serious? Why the fuck would you send Gendry for Dany? Daenerys is on the other fucking side of the world and you have no fucking clue if she will come or not!! Do you know how long it would take a Raven to reach her in Dragonstone? Days! Fucking day! Why didn't you just have Gendry go get the Wildlings at eastwatch? Oh, I know why. Because that would be the smart thing to do and the story doesn't need to be smart anymore. Just awesome as will be proven in further rants down the line in this review. So, they start running (in the complete opposite direction from Gendry mind you) and come up upon a frozen lake. This is about the time when things go full stupid. So, they are on the lake and it's cracking. This already doesn't makes sense to me. It's been winter for how long and that lake hasn't completely frozen over? With White walkers walking around? I highly doubt it especially with the White Walker walking around in that area. But whatever it's your lake. Do whatever the hell you want with it.

So, they run across the lake to a rock thing in the middle of it and the ice breaks under the weight of the wights after a bunch of the tackle a red shirt. Because that totally makes sense. You'd think the weight would be enough but nope. It took a tackle. Now they are surrounded on all sides. Whatever shall they do!? But don't worry! Because Gendry is here to save the day and gets the message to Dany like really stupid fast. Magical raven are a go! I repeat! Magical teleporting Ravens are a go! We are still with the idiots beyond the wall after this Gendry scene (to my great displeasure) They wake up to find the wights still waiting on the edge of the broken part of the lack and they quickly learn that Thoros is dead as a doorbell. Now from this scene we quickly learn that wights can't swim and that they are on ice. The smart thing to do would have clearly been to shove the body in the water. What do they do instead? They burn the body using Beric's sword. It doesn't seem very practical but I'll give them a little break because at least they'll freeze a little slower. I'm still wondering why the White Walkers didn't just make a bridge to them in the night though. It's a known fact that they can freeze shit and make shit out of ice. I guess they thought it was just funner to stand around. It's not like they could have known Dany was coming but they were sure as fuck prepare for that shit. Ain't that ironic? Anyways, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's get back on track.

Anyways, so they burn Thoros, Beric points out the obvious and then we are back in Winterfell again. This actually starts with a scene I like. Sansa gets a letter from King's Landing requesting a envoy from the North and she goes to Brienne knowing she can't go. This is literally the smartest thing Sansa could have done. Brienne is the most loyal and honorable person surrounding her current. Sansa has faith that Brienne will do will and I one hundred percent agree with this. On top of that this is more proof of how strong she has become as a character. Brienne is the only one that would defend her if Arya does decide to be a petty bitch and does let everything go to shit. This is a great sacrifice and choice for Sansa and I respect the shit out of it. All the way over in Dragonstone the letter reaches Dany and she decides to fly after the idiots of the wight. But of course the most moral man in the universe has to get his tearful two cents in and he's making more sense then anyone else at this very moment. But naturally Dany the hot head doesn't listen to the wise dwarf and takes the utterly pointless flight that she'll soon regret cause lurve! I actually like Tyrion's part in this but the whole situation is just so dumb. Anyways, back beyond the wall the Hound is throwing rocks at the wights. A funny scene. But then my boy misses and hits froze water and it skitters across the ice. The lack if froze and the wights start charging as slow as inhumanly possible (D&D: it makes total sense! I promise!). Seriously. They should have been over ran based on Hardholme but nope. The dudes gotta live.

Things are moving fast. Bros are taking on dead bros in every direction. The last red shirt falls off the rock thing and gets torn apart by wights. Tormund gets over ran but he's fine because he's a red shirt. Jorah is using tiny little daggers to stab at wights and somehow doesn't die. Jon stands behind them, the only one watching their back, as the horde rushes them from behind. Then the dragons and Dany come swooping in as they are about to get completely over run. All three dragons are blowing fire everywhere and the ice doesn't melt. Yay magical ice now! Dany starts pulling bros on Drogon's back but instead of following suit Jon stupidly charges more wights for no reason at all. While this is all going on the night king very slowly picks up his spear and aims it at the smallest dragon even though Drogon is on the ground much closer. With awesome super strength we didn't know he had he Spears the dragon and the ice is suddenly not magical anymore and breaks beneath him. The dragon dies and sinks beneath the ice into it watery grave. Poor Viserion and stupid NK. As the NK pulls out another spear, Jon does not run to the dragon and jump on real fast. Instead he shouts for Dany to go. Reluctant she does and manages to swerve out of the way of a spear neither her or Drogon knew were coming (Go watch the scene again. They were both looking straight ahead.) They escape but Jon falls into ice and dies from shock and drowning. No wait. That's wrong. My bad. He miraculously survives and pulls himself out of the freezing water. Only to be saved by Benjen ex Machina who just happened to be in town because plot demands it. Benjen gives Jon his horse and sacrifices himself pointless (that is a undead horse. It can carry two people no problem) because we need to end his character somehow.

He gets back to the wall (still alive somehow) and Dany is waiting there because she's in lurve. The watch take care of Jon at Eastwatch (because even gods get hypothermia). This is also where Dany learns that Jon really was stabbed in the heart and takes it pretty well when she realizes she's in love with a corpse. Finally we cut back to Winterfell for more stupi-... I mean, great Arya/Sansa time! Sansa decides to take matters into her own hands and tries to find the letter in Arya's room. Instead she finds the lamest plastic looking faces ever in a bag underneath Arya's bed. Sansa is rightfully freaked out. When did her sister become a mummer!? That's no job for a lady! But of course Arya finds her and goes full psycho again. I'm pretty much done with Arya's shit by this point... I hope she grows a brain soon or this is her own trick on Littlefinger because this is fucking stupid. Now Jon and Dany are in a ship sailing off to King's landing or whatever (I kinda stopped caring at this point). They have a moment, Jon verbally bends the knee and we cut back to the wights pulling on four enormous chains that seem to be attached to something in the water. But wait... Where did they get the chains? How did it get attached to whatever's in the water? This is a question that will never be answered. Why? Because it's cool. Cool things don't need answer. Answers are for suckers. Just shut up and enjoy the bullshit (says David and Dan and half the world who can't take criticism).

So, they pull up whatever's in the water and it's Viserion. No surprise there. Just surprised they did it the hard way. The NK can raise his hands and bring the dead back to life so this scene was pointless and stupid. Would have been cooler to see the NK just raise his hands and the dragon burst out of the lack but we aren't allowed sensible cool things anymore. Just the stupid shit. Anyways. That's my review. Like it. Hate it. Whatever. These are my honest feeling and I'm tired of hoping for something better and kissing D&D's asses. If they give me a shiny shit I'm going to call them out on it. I'm done.