#let's end the burgeaousi

[the-unofficial-rakun-piratequeen]

My not very communist manifesto about productivity and self exploitation

I used to think that as long as "you give your best", it'd be enough even without succeding. But now I realize that the idea of "giving your best" is honestly bullshit. Giving your best 24/7 is extremely tiring, and even if you do succeed in anything, the difficulties for the next step are higher, so should I be eternaly giving my best in a pointless way? and, me giving my best for something, is it truly for myself if in the way I sacrifice so much? I doubt that if you give your all the reward will be fulfilling, after all whats the point of winning something if the other things are gone.

With that I mean wasting time, energy, effort, putting yourself in awful situations, blah blah blah. If something you are fighting for is so tiring that you feel that'll never end, or you feel that it's slowly taking away your will to live, then I can't help but doubt if I'm really doing it for myself. But if not for myself for whom?

Maybe some sense of trascendence after death, maybe for social approval, maybe to prove that I'm not all the bad stuff that has been said about me.

All the bad tags that were put into me when I was little remain in a very painful way. Whenever I do something wrong or miscalculate my next move, I can't help but think "Maybe they were right, maybe I'm useless". And now I realize that the more I try to fight it, the more useless I become, because sacrificing my mental health, my wellbeing and wasting time of my life only leaves me with less than what I had when I just started. So I do not plan on keep giving my best, not for anyone, I'll just give enough to pass through.

I prefer to be mediocre and not sacrifice anything if at the end a big part of the effort's reward won't even be for myself. Maybe one day I'll look back and regret that I didn't do enough, but I think that I'll regret more doing too much to end up with nothing. I only want to invest my time now in stuff that give me some sense. The problem is usually that type of stuff it's not something that 'll give me enough money to live. I truly think if at least there were still forest, or more public places with native species where I can forage, or some way to survive without being so dependant on what the higher ups give me access to, everyone would have it easier. If there were such places where one could still take enough for oneself of what nature gives without having to worry so much about ownership everything would be a lot better.

Did my rant into the social expectancy of productivity and the unfulfilling self sacrifice become a sort of slightly communist manifesto? I kinda think it did

But sadly I can only say it is what it is. And that kind of idealistic thinking can only be put to work if everyone agrees into not taking advantage of the system and give at least a little bit of selflesness to the world, but I see it kinda hard.

Thinking about it, when the church did good things (like xenodochiums or the hôtel-Dieu, social work and progress in general), usually it came from a sense of compassion, empathy for the other, community and union. When the church fucked up it was mostly because of the personal intrests of some specific parties.

I'm not a communist, I'm not christian nor religious, but even so I must admit that truly some of their ideas should be quite universal. If we think of our begginings as humans and the fact that we are gregarious, and one of the basis of our survival is being there for the other, when we act in a way that benefits no one but a small percentage that doesn't represent at all the population, when we fight with each other for the favor of the one who is in power, we loose part of our humanity. When we allow someone this god-like status, we are no better than ants , living only so the queen can pass on her genes, meanwhile the rest can have the bare minimum to survive.

We stop taking into account the individual while at the same time we hyperfixate on the individual. It's quite paradoxical because the individual we hyperfixate usually isn't ourselves, no matter how egoistic we are, the one we hyperfixate into is the same one we seek aprovation from.

It's like when we talk about the cult towards Elon Musk. Usually the profile of the people who follow him is slightly "selfcentered", or to put it in another way, the stereotype of a straight white man who thinks poor people are poor because they want to. So no matter how selfcentered they are, they still lose their individuality becoming nothing but an ant working for their queen hoping one day they can become her. Saddly that's exactly why things don't change. People don't want to beat the system, they want to get to the top of it, and it's understandable, no one wants to go to the bottom by trying to derrocate the state powers. No medieval noble would like to offend the king and become a slave.

in synthesis: FUCK GIVING YOUR BEST, FROM NOW ON THIS BITCH IS ONLY GIVING BARELY ENOUGH TO PASS

AND A BIG MIDDLE FINGER UP TO EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE (including myself and the person reading this, with all my love, go fuck yourself, tehe~ <3)