#let's be honest - idgaf about my job most days anyway ><< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[adventuresinfarming]

IDGAF about work today, I just want to be home playing the Stardew Valley 1.6 update!

[theglowworm2008]

57 Facts Tag

I was tagged by @alienshootlove (I hope I can think of that many facts about myself. Lol.) Thank you for tagging me. :D

Rules: Post 57 facts about yourself and tag at least ten people. When posting include the tag “57 facts” in order for people to find out more about you and perhaps find a kindred spirit to talk to. :)

1.) I just turned 30 years old.

2.) I’m a mother of four, three boys and a girl, all under the age of ten.

3.) I’ve never been married and I’m not sure if I’m ever going to.

4.) I have a serious distrust complex about people, but I act really nice anyway.

5.) I curse like a sailor as much as possible when my kids are finally out of ear shot. Lol. I miss swearing so fucking much!

6.) My favorite food is sushi (Mostly because it’s expensive and I can’t have it all the time) and Chipolte rice bowls. 

7.) When I can drink, I always go for a dark beer. I love it! I can’t deal with fruity, girly drinks.. like, at all.

8.) I have a fiance who I love/hate all the time. Secretly, though? I love that we argue as much as we get along. Arguing is honesty, and honesty is HUGE for me.

9.) I lost my virginity at 16. And duuuuuude... guys take forever to get good at sex. I didn’t get an orgasm from a guy until... I don’t know.. my early twenties? Lol. Just a note, watching porn doth not a sex god make, mkay?

10.) I’ve always had guy friends; I was into video games and playing sports and girls my age were into... not that stuff. Plus.. girls are fucking mean, lol. 

11.) My best friends are also family members. I don’t really trust people and I just never clicked with anyone that way. My two best guy friends growing up.. one turned into a douche drug addict that was in and out of jail and the other, his wife was the jealous type and so we stopped talking. And then having kids.. well, you pretty much lose any friendships you have that existed once you have kids. 

12.) I have too many favorite books, lol, but one series that I’ll never get bored rereading is The Sevenwaters Trilogy by Juliet Marillier. 

13.) Growing up, I never lived in any home longer than a couple of years. Now, I hate sitting still too long. I don’t know if I’ll ever buy a house.

14.) I have never stuck myself into anything for long. As a kid, I tried out a lot of the stereotypes. Music, I have songs I like out of all of them. Religion, I like hearing all kinds of ideas and theories, but don’t like being stuck in one. Etc, etc.

15.) I’m insecure about myself (But who the hell isn’t, honestly?)

16.) My fiance calls me “The Ball Buster” because I am sarcastic and playfully fling insults at him when his ego gets too big for my liking. Lol. He says it’s how he fell for me. <3

17.) I used to be a correctional officer and I liked it, but kids and that profession really don’t go together. All U.S. jobs are insanely unsupportive of family vs jobs. 

18.) I got pregnant at 19 and, having no resources, I had to give up on college. 

19.) I still struggle with “what will I be when I grow up”. 

20.) I have been homeless once and I never want to go through it again. I am, now, obsessively on top of my bills as a result.

21.) My name is Bryanna.

22.) I can type without looking at the keyboard since my grandma wouldn’t let me touch a computer for any reason other than to play keyboard learning games. 

23.) My favorite video games will always be Zelda related, but I’m also into things like Dragon Age, Mass Effect, KOTOR, Horizon Zero Dawn, Super Mario, etc. When I was younger, I was really into Final Fantasy and Legend of Dragoon and .. god.. so many others. Most of my games had like.. four game discs. Lol. 

24.) I am an insane coffee addict. Seriously, I will get huge migraines and throw up when I go a day without it. Even when we’re broke, I will scrounge for loose change to keep myself stocked. Haha. 

25.) If I’m honest, I’m afraid of the dark.

26.) I’m also afraid of mirrors, especially in the dark.

27.) Because of those things alone, I avoid all horror movies. I just can’t even...

28.) I love Cheese-Its.

29.) I am deathly afraid of Spiders and bees/wasps/hornets.

30.) In fact, I hate most bugs.

31.) I was the type of kid who grew up with iguanas.

32.) I’ve literally beat boys up for trying to harm animals. Idgaf! 

33.) I feel trapped in my life sometimes, as a mother and as a girlfriend. I wish I had more time for myself to just be Bryanna. Hense, this Simblr obsession! Lol.

34.) Although I’ve played Sims forever, this is the first time I’ve ever made stories with my sims and shared them. It’s made the game so much more fun. 

35.) I hate being picked up or tickled.

36.) I love fall and, of course, all the pumpkin flavored shit!

37.) I really hate feet.

38.) I have never slept naked... ever. 

39.) I really want to have a career involved in computers.. one that I don’t have to deal with people in that.. fake friendly way.

40.) My father died when I was 15.

41.) My mother has struggled with chronic pain for most of my life; it’s made things kind of hard in ways I’m still trying to understand.

42.) When I was younger, I did nothing but write stories and draw. I don’t do as much of either anymore.

43.) I have freckles everywhere and I love them.

44.) I hate that I have brown eyes.

45.) I never put the toilet paper roll on the holder. Ever.

46.) I have a small dog named Atlas. She’s more like a cat than a dog, though. And a total brat.

47.) I can deal with all kinds of stuff; blood, poop, pee, etc. But I HATE throw up. Ugh..

48.) I am honest to the point of almost ruining my life. Lol.

49.) Unpopular opinion; I am not a fan of Apple products.

50.) I have never been outside of my country. Traveling is something I’m going to do as soon as my kids are old enough to live on their own.

51.) I love to sing; I used to be good enough to be in choir and get paid to do Christmas carols... but lack of use has kind of killed my voice. Lol.

52.) I think farting is freaking gross. Lol. And rude. Do it somewhere else! 

53.) My nick name ‘glow worm’ comes from the fact that I’m so white I “glow in the dark”. Me keeping it was a big middle finger to those that made it. Idgaf! Lol.

54.) I hate cake; I prefer ice cream cake on my birthday, with whipped topping.

55.) I am really blunt; sometimes I can hurt people’s feelings.

56.) When I’m sad, I will turn on Christmas music (Any time of the year) and sing along. I freaking love Christmas!

57.) I used to live in Florida; I moved to the top of the U.S. and now I can safely admit that snow is only good until Christmas is done, then it needs to fuck off! All the good it does, at that point, is keep all the bugs dead.

I tag: @mellocakes, @jupidella, @tigerellasims, @sparkiemonkey, @elliesimsx, @all-harlows-eve, @okruee, @oakella, @oakglow, @aharris00britney, @hiddenspringss

[suprisinglysweetsociopath]

Let’s start with honesty

Seriously I do not want to be honest, I absolutely love lying about my feelings to everything and everyone. But fine. Fucking fine. I am increasingly a mess of anxiety because despite my myriad schemes and theories I am increasingly terrified that none of them are going to work. Several of my friends are “essential employees” and I am fucking terrified for them - shit my mom finished chemo a year ago, she’s coming up on when cancer’s going to come back if it will, and she’s gotta work as an RN. I’m also dealing with a massive inferiority complex - and if you’re thinking “oh shit where did that come from I thought he had a giant ego.” congratulations, you are one of the literally hundreds if not thousands of people who I’ve successfully lied to. Not even meant as a taunt - I’m a really, really good liar. Guess what? I absolutely fucking hate myself. My family are well off, as you might expect from the mentions I’ve made here and there on my main that my mom’s a nurse and my dad’s a surgeon. We didn’t get that money by fucking anyone over, but holy shit I am such a silver-spoon piece of shit and I cannot begin to explain how much I fucking HATE that I am still relying on my parents. Never had to worry about being hungry, never had to worry about being able to maintain a work schedule to keep insurance or keep a roof over my head.  I’m 25 years old and have actually never had to really worry about the things that plague almost everyone I love. Yeah, I should be grateful. I know. And I am, in a way. But the tradeoff is that I know, on some level, that I do not have the understanding I should. Because emotional empathy isn’t *really* a thing I’m capable of, and while i’m capable of worrying about my friends I often worry that I’m not capable of understanding them because I don’t share their experiences. I also know, clearly and painfully, that I have never actually proven my worth in any capacity that matters in regards to taking care of myself or really earning my place in the world. I don’t need to get a job to go to grad school, much less a shitty, minimum wage one in an “essential” field, but guess what? I’m going to anyway. Not because it’ll be good for me - it almost certainly will not - but because it’ll let me feel a little less like the silverspoon little cuntfuck I have always been. My parents are worried about my grades if I do it but you know what? Fuck it. I can manage. I have the discipline. Sure, I’ll wind up screaming incoherently about the frustration and the tension here, but if it soothes the absolute fucking hatred I feel about being this goddamn sheltered and safe and fucking bourgie, worth it. Oh, and let’s also add this on: I frequently realize I scare people with my reactions to things. Example. I said, to the face of someone not wearing a mask, that because they were putting people at risk by their selfish jackassery, I thought they should be summarily euthanized to avoid them infecting anyone who actually mattered. And I was really, really hoping they’d take a swing so I could. You know. Have a bit of stress release. I have said, previously, that idgaf about the old people in the retirement home a friend works in because “fuck it, they’re old, they’ve had a good run, all of them together are not worth risking you.” Apparently, that’s a cold blooded and offensive opinion to have, and I guess that makes sense that it would be once it was pointed out, but you know what? I’m only attached to so many people and I would happily drown the world in it’s own gore to keep all of them happy and healthy. Then there’s the constant seething rage and bloodlust I feel about politics. Yeah, let me be honest about that. For no other reason than that I want to see my friends and loved ones taken care of and the Republican party is in the way of the progress needed to do that, I want to maim, kill, pillage and burn my way across the entire goddamn country and slaughter every single motherfucking right winger in existence. Fuck, even now I’m working on infiltrating QAnon and seeing if I can’t get them to meet up and kill each other or better, use them as pawns to kill some of the super rich assholes who keep fucking everything up for the rest of us. And I’ve bounced around incel forums in earnest efforts to make sure the black pill winds up being “suicide” not “rape and homicide” because fuck it, I know exactly zero incels but as far as I can see every single on of them is a potential threat to people I do care about. So if they reform? Great. If they die instead? As long as it kills zero people I love? Not my problem. Ditto neo nazis and white supremacists. Them being dead does nothing but make the people I count safer. Oh, and any of the optimism you’ve seen me express in my main on the stories? All lies. All of it. I think humanity, at its core, is a race of stupid, selfish ignorant assholes with few to no redeeming qualities that it can claim on anything more than an individual by individual basis and I think our extinction at our own hands will do little more than prove Darwin right. Why do I write those? Because I feel like SOMEONE probably deserves to have hope about our species and fuck it, why not? I enjoy fantasizing about better worlds and writing about a cast who do generally have redeeming qualities and if it gives people the hope they need to continue, so much the better. Me? I’m animated by desire to be there for the people I love and an absolute refusal to die before everything I hate. That’s the only reason I get out of bed in the mornings most of the time. Oh and did I mention that ASPD and manic depression have this weird synergy where I either feel nothing or everything at fucking once? Or on the “balance” days I feel my emotions exactly the way I want to, with them there and identifiable but comfortably distant from my decision-making process, where they belong. Okay maybe my therapist was right. It does feel good to get all that out there.

[alyjojo]

The bereavement woman from the hospital is one of the sweetest people alive, she keeps calling to check on me and see how I’m doing.

Some angels are disguised as people 🙏

I’m trying to declutter my mind along with the house. But my headphones need charging so...hello internet.

Yesterday I was trapped downstairs mostly, so I got the trash room, outside and the pantry done...the food side not storage side. Place is set up so awkwardly. I gotta clear the whole house before I mess with all that Xmas stuff.

Lil girls room is done, working on redoing the hallway full of board games and bullshit. WHO put 200 melty beads in a puzzle tin?? That 1000x really. Sigh.

He came home yesterday, after spending hours on the phone hashing shit out the night before. Calmly. I agreed to counseling...again (cough course I’m not the one that said we can’t do it reason reason reason but lettttt it go cough).

Our families need to know wtf is going on anyway, I’m pretttttty resentful of the Facebook lifestyle and everyone cares so long as it’s happy, but no one actually knows who tf you even really are from day to day.

I’ve seen some of my most solid friends suddenly break down in posts with things no one ever knew. Especially lately. Drug abuse in the family, racism, major bullying with their kids, death of children, health scares and emergencies, deep depression, job loss & struggles, marriage issues etc etc. I’m always shocked, and I’m usually one of the first to respond too...hello not a hypocrite actually do care 🙄❤️🙏

I’ve been on the stop talking to me if you’re fake af bandwagon for years, I hate that shit. Seems to be a white thing, and it’s retarded. No one cares about your new rug Sharon if your kid just overdosed, the people the love you care about that, stopped being ashamed of your life...it’s what makes other people talk about theirs.

I come out of my cave when people get real 💯

Sure be a bitch crying about spaghetti cakes omg favoritism today, whatever. When you lose your fucking mom, I’ll be really nice, even though you’re a total bitch 9/10 😒

I get humbled too.

Us...long conversations, apologies, what’s next.

He had a major health scare and I panicked. Wouldn’t let me call an ambulance (bc it was midnight) taking aspirin clutching his chest with tingly face. Making him an appt today, might not go to a hospital but he’s going to a doctor dammit.

Our issues seem like the past because the past comes up a lot. It’s the behavior that leads to the bullshit. I feel invisible, ignored brushed aside, put down...so so much more losing my daughter...because of behavior throughout. The subjects change but the stupid bs doesn’t.

He feels overwhelmed, grieving, called out both wrongly and truthfully (wrongly stresses him tf out...kay stop giving me little to no info and getting upset when I flip tf out..Gma hates that shit too..wholeass family does it...maybe she needed to say it)

Things said and done in anger no one meant. Both of us need boundaries. He says he wants me to more of what I like, I say he won’t let me how could I? Let me GO and I’ll come back, fuck. He wants to communicate via sighs and grunts, ignoring but if you let it go and try later he’s more pissed and I no longer give a damn...eye rolls, slamming cabinets and crap, I find so petty. I’m too heated and impatient for the bs, truly a fault, I expect um...speak. I’m not tiptoeing around a damn thing ever again 🤨

Past people no. Bunch of conversations, nothing happened anywhere with anyone and the whole thing is bs and wouldn’t be had everyone just been open and honest. Me too.

The reasons don’t matter when you hurt someone, and I was wrong to even talk. Having any options is wrong if their intention is clearly bs and your intention is to fix it. And mine was. I should’ve saved myself the contradictive judgments and been open. I’m staying and idgaf what y’all think. Who is a real friend vs... brew. Separate issue. I was wrong. His can burn for all I care 💯

Was I upset at losing my car, job and freedom over a guy? Hell no. I was resentful of being forced back into the same role I desperately tried to escape only because of behavior, again. Had you not been this when I needed you because of my health, I felt he’s so cruel.

Told him if you’re feeling vulnerable then you need to act vulnerable, not storming in a room booming this or that expecting me to jump, noooo sir. I would have no idea you’re feeling vulnerable, and that behavior doesn’t get nice in return.

Im not going to apologize for my shit when you’re standing there defending yours.

Same for me flipping out on him. My mouth is venomous. I jump to conclusions. I stay quiet for so long, dancing around the ignore game don’t wanna approach admit or apologize game, I friggin explode. Or retaliate with the same shit, totally helps.

These things need to die. We don’t. If you still look at me like that, and I still feel like this when I see you, it’s worth another appointment...

This week is car ins though so no cars are getting fixed and no appts are happening.

Till next week. I’ve got a house to overhaul.

[moiraineswife]

What proof do we have that Eris is abusive, other than that characters have said he is? Most held a similar opinion of Rhys, what's the difference? That we have a first person narrator who is privy to the backstory of one but not the other? I'm not trying to be aggressive but I want to know your thoughts. I thought showing was more important than telling in storytelling.

Okay then, like, what ‘proof’ have we got for literally 90% of the things in this series???? Feyre is a 19 year old human girl in a world full of immortal fae. You want an eye witness account for everything in this thing, do you?

 How do I know the war happened the way they said it did? Feyre never saw it, she’s only had characters tell her about it. How do I know Rhys actually hated what he did with Amarantha and didn’t just swap sides right at the end? How do I know Rhys’ dad sucked but his mother was a good person, I’ve only heard him tell me about her, I’ve seen it. How do I know Tamlin’s brothers were awful? Never seen them either. How do I know Beron is really that awful either, I mean maybe he’s wearing a mask too and all the characters are just wrong. How do I know Mor is queer? I’ve never seen her with a girl before, I just have her word for it, maybe she lied. How do I know literally anything in this entire series because WE GET TOLD MOST THINGS NOT SHOWN THEM. 

This is what happens when you have a limited first person pov. The character HAS to get told things in order to tell us things like ???? A little bit of common sense please, do you want me to like, historically fact check Prythian for everything that Feyre tells us about it??? 

And tbh SJM has a pretty crappy habit of doing the whole ‘telling over showing’ thing anyway. See: the entirety of the Throne of Glass series, Mor’s powers in ACOTAR (she’s awesome, really, we promise, we just haven’t actually SEEN her do anything), the assertions that Rhys and co are ~the most powerful ever~ have I actually SEEN that? Can I actually see that? No.  Do I really question these things? No. Because I understand that this is the only way I can actually get some information out of this story and if I only went with what I ‘saw’ and disbelieved everything else I’d have literally nothing?? 

And when it comes to the whole Eris thing, like, dude, it’s not just a couple of characters who’ve said he’s abysmal it’s like, wait let me make a list: 

Tamlin: “His father had her put down. Executed, in front of Lucien, ashis two eldest brothers held him and made him watch.” That would be Eris. So at best you’ve got conflicting statements here. 

Lucien: “Lucien crossed his arms, leaning against the back of thecouch. “I have to agree with Cassian. Eris is a snake.” M, yes, Eris, HIS OWN BROTHER. If anyone was going to know Eris was ~not a bad person~ it’d be Lucien. Lucien who lived in that court. Who knew him. Who Eris apparently cared enough to protect/save, according to him. Eris who apparently cares so much about his mother (as we have seen Lucien does SEEN that is SEEN with our own two eyes) Why the hell would Lucien not know Eris was ‘wearing a mask’. Or maybe...Eris really does suck. 

Rhys: “Eris refused to marry her. Said she’d been sullied by abastard-born lesser faerie, and he’d now sooner fuck a sow. [...]Rhys said withsoft wrath, “Eris left her for dead in the middle of their woods.” Idgaf how he tries to spin it later, this is what happened.  

Cassian: “You’re working with that prick,” Cassian cut in, whatevercatching-up now over, apparently. He moved to Mor’s side, a hand on her back.He shook his head at Azriel and Rhys, disgust curling his lip. “You should havespiked Eris’s fucking head to the front gates.” 

Amren: “Your whole family is despicable,” Amren said to Lucien.

Mor: AtMor, whose face went white with dread. [...]Or at Eris, heirto the Autumn Court, as he strolled into the room. 

[...] 

And I had the terrible sense that Mor had gone somewhere far,far away as Eris set down his goblet and said, “You look well, Mor.”

The sight of him triggers actual real panic attacks and flashbacks that we can literally see from Feyre’s POV. Five hundred years after the fact and Mor is still traumatised enough by what he did to her to react like this even after all that time. 

Then we have Feyre’s POV herself. Through her we’ve seen Eris laughing alongside his other brothers as Lucien was tortured and nearly killed. 

“I don’t suppose your handsome brothers know, Lucien,” shepurred.

“If we did, Lady, we would be the first to tell you,” said thetallest. He was lean, well dressed, every inch of him a court-trained bastard.Probably the eldest, given the way even the ones who looked like born warriorsstared at him with deference and calculation—and fear.

 Ah, yes, that would be Eris actively promising help to Amarantha in order to damn Feyre and continue her reign. Then there’s the way Eris hunts down Lucien and Feyre in the Winter Court, actively harms them both. So that’s like...Basically every single main character in this book who’s told you Eris sucks. 

What’s the basis for believing that he doesn’t, out of interest? I mean what ‘evidence’ do you have that he is actually wearing a mask, what do you have that’s so strong it goes against the testimony of multiple characters? Oh I know! You have Eris’ word for it and that’s it. Wow. So unbiased. So convincing. Eris tells us he’s not really a bad guy and that outweighs the half a dozen people who tells us he is! That’s just. Damn. What logic. Can’t argue with that. 

Also, like, I’m sorry, but Rhys’ arc was done properly, Rhys’ redemption wasn’t a retcon it was a followed-through on plan. There were hints UtM that Rhys was not as black as he was painted (He killed the Summer Court faerie outright rather than leaving him to suffer, he repeatedly came to visit Feyre in her cell when no-one else would, he was honest with Feyre about the treatment he received at Amarantha’s hands (a vulnerability on his part), he told her why he was making her dance every night as well as the steps he put in place to protect her, he sent music to her and saved her life, he saved her life and Tamlin’s with the kiss (which Feyre is aware of), he tried to save Feyre’s life while Amarantha was torturing her) 

Rhys was a complex, morally grey character UtM and it’s possible to show a different side to him and a ‘mask’ because there were always hints of him wearing one. What if Ianthe told Feyre she was actually a secret agent working for Prythian but she was forced to act the way she did to keep her cover? What if Amarantha said she’d only dominated Prythian that way to save it from something worse and she too was wearing a mask and working for the greater good? What if Hybern said there was a bigger threat facing them and he had an ulterior motive to this war (and also, I mean, how do you really know Hybern is that awful, we’ve only ever had people tell us about him, maybe he’s misunderstood too!!!!)  @valamerys wrote this out far better than I could in this post, read it too. 

My thoughts are pretty simple, tbh: SJM decided to “”””””redeem”””””” Eris, likely to have him set-up to take over Autumn, now Lucien isn’t an option for that before what with the whole dramatic lost son of Day thing and she did a crap job of it. Like this isn’t some grand morality based character debate that’s going on here, SJM just handled this poorly. In order to make him seem not so bad she had to undo all of the canon that she’d set in place before hand and offer ‘alternative’ explanations for what happened that we’ve never heard about. 

If she planned this all beforehand, if Eris was always wearing a mask why weren’t there hints of it before? Why didn’t she have Tamlin tell Feyre he got an anonymous tip-off the day he saved Lucien’s life from his brothers (which is what Eris claimed). Why wouldn’t Lucien defend him a little, say at least he cared about their mother/was sometimes kinder to him than the others? Why wouldn’t Rhys say that in the arranged marriage that petrified Mor, Eris was as unwilling as she was, that he argued against it? (Eris would have gone through with this marriage regardless of what it did to Mor if she hadn’t slept with Cassian) Why wouldn’t Eris stay quiet UtM or not show up to watch Lucien’s torture (which he does repeatedly)? Why, why, why, why, why would SJM not do something to show us that there might be more to Eris? Unless this was just a sloppy, last minute retcon to redeem a gross, abusive character who still to do this day petrifies his victim? 

Like, if you consider showing to be of more importance than telling in stories....You’ve picked a mighty weird hill to die on here with Eris. Because this is literally the worst example of telling not showing in this entire series. There is no basis for anything that happens with Eris’ character in ACOWAR and the only thing we have stacked against the evidence of two and a half books is what Eris says and how he personally spins the story like ????

 Idk dude, we can have a convoluted, let’s bend over backwards to redeem this guy and show he was misunderstood and has been wearing a mask so convincing it’s never ever ever cracked even once this entire time, to anyone! Even people who’ve known him for centuries....Or we go with the simpler: SJM really didn’t plan or execute this story very well at all. Which seems more reasonable?