#let's all cross our fingies ok?

[mod2amaryllis]

doing a good job of being zen today not looking at any news like it's outta my hands now, anxiety is unproductive, just chill! then the moment my beloved long time barista opened the drive thru window he's like "HANGING IN THERE??? IF WE CAN JUST TAKE NEVADA I THINK WE'LL BE OK" and I'm like ANDREW STOP

[memzhay]

Phrenology

People sent them the craziest things! Cool things. Wacky things. Weird things. They hadn’t done an episode where they opened mail in a long time, but they still got it, and the cooler or weirder things often made their way into Rhett and Link’s office for at least a while.

Today, Rhett was sitting on the couch and examining a colorfully painted phrenology skull. A fan had mailed it to them thinking it would be good inspiration for an episode. Rhett had spent some time that morning reading about phrenology, and wasn’t sure. Turns out, back in the day, phrenology was used to justify a race or a class of people as being superior to another based on how their skulls felt. Rhett was disappointed by that, but maybe they could point out how wrong that part of it was and still explore the other sides of it.  The stuff about determining someone’s personality characteristics based on the bumpiness of their skull was kind of interesting. Could be something there.

“You and our new friend getting along?” Link asked coming into the office.

“C’mere a sec,” Rhett instructed. “I want to see what kind of personality you have.” He gestured to the floor in front of him. Link shook his head, chagrined, and sat down cross legged on the floor between Rhett’s legs, facing forward. Rhett handed him the painted skull.

“Ok,” he said placing the tips of his fingers on Link’s scalp. “So, we just move our little fingies around and search for prominent rises.  He gently tapped his fingers from the front of Link’s hairline to the back of his head. “Hmmm,” Rhett mused.

“Give it to me straight, doc,” Link said dramatically. “Do I have a personality?”

“Oh, loads of it!” Rhett chuckled. “I think you have a protrusion right about here,” he said tapping Link about 2 inches above his right ear. “What does that mean?”

Link turned the skull in his hands. “Sublimity,” he read from the skull. “Sublimity? Does that mean I’m sublime?” he asked with a pleased smile. “I’ll take it!”

“This back here feels like it might be something,” Rhett said exploring the back of Link’s head with his fingertips, “But I think that’s just how skulls are.” He put one of his hands on the back of his own head for comparison. “Yeah,” he decided. “I think this area back here,” he tapped the back of Link’s head with his fingers, “Is more pronounced on you than on me. What does that mean?”

Link turned the skull to the back. “Philoprogenitiveness,” Link pronounced haltingly. “What the heck?” He pulled out his phone to look for a definition. “A particular feeling which watches over and provides for helpless offspring, or parental love. Awww! That’s sweet. My skull says I love my kids,” he said happily.

“That is nice,” Rhett agreed. He ran his fingers through the salt and pepper locks. “Hmmm.”

“What?” Link asked. “Did you find something that says I’m really charming and good at things?”

“No,” Rhett clarified. “Just noticing your hair. It’s a lot softer than it looks.”

“Thank you!” Link said. “I didn’t put any product in it today because I’m going to wear that hat on Ear Biscuits. When the grey first started coming in, it seems like it was all wirey and crazy. Now it mostly just feels like hair.”

“It’s real nice,” Rhett said dreamily. He came back to his senses. “When I put my fingers in your hair like this, does it make you feel like spiders are crawling on your head?” He quickly wiggled and crawled his fingers around Link’s head.

“Eeee!” Link squeaked as a shudder ran down his spine. “It does now!!” He shook his shoulders and got off the floor. “Ok. Switch!”

Rhett sat on the floor as Link settled himself on the couch behind him, handing Rhett the skull. Link stroked his fingers through Rhett’s hair front to back a few times. “You’ve always had such great hair,” he said with admiration. “So thick!” He brought his hands to Rhett’s hairline and began gently circling his fingertips working slowly from front to back.

He took his thumbs and ran them back and forth across the base of Rhett’s skull where his head met his neck. He paused and increased the pressure in his thumbs slightly, using his fingertips to encourage Rhett to lean his head forward and stretch his neck.

“Mmmm,” Rhett hummed deep in his chest. “That feels incredible! It’s a lovely scalp massage, but I’m not sure what you are going to learn about my personality that way.”

“Well,” Link said, “We’re learning you like to be petted. That’s something. Besides, I have a sixth sense for these things. You must have missed that when you were reading me. I now know everything about you.” He spoke low and hypnotically, going back to making small circles with his fingers and working his way around Rhett’s scalp.

“Yeah?” Rhett said in a trance. “What.. do you… know.. about me?” He was losing the ability to speak. Link’s hands soothing and relaxing tension he didn’t know he had.

“Well,” Link intoned while bringing the slowly circling fingertips to Rhett’s temples, “This right here means you’re a deep thinker.”

“Mmmm,” Rhett hummed.

“And a bit of a know it all at times,” he added with a grin. He started running is fingers in straight lines through Rhett’s hair on both sides of his head. “This here means you have highly developed musical skills and creativity.”

“I knew it,” Rhett said with a smile.

“And this here,” Link said bringing his hands down to Rhett’s shoulders and kneeding deeply into the tissue on both sides of his neck, “Means your best friend is awesome!”

“Mmmm. Damn right!” Rhett agreed as Link crawled his thumbs from Rhett’s neck to his shoulder blades, working slowly and methodically like he had all the time in the world.

After some time, Link gathered Rhett’s long hair in his hands, smoothing it out like he was putting it in a ponytail and letting it fall from his grasp. He let his hands fall to Rhett’s shoulders and kept them there.

“Ok,” Rhett said. “Switch!”