#let me flood that character tag to show my love for this character (I can't stop hurting)

[khruschevshoe]

My Hot-Take/Controversial Ranking of Doctor Who Seasons (excluding specials bc my special order is really unhinged)

3 > 1 > 10 > 4 > 5 > 8 > 11 > 12 > 9 > 7b > 2 > 6 > 13 = 7a

Disclaimer: I have favorite episodes that come from every single season on this list, including 7a. For example, even though Season 6 is low on the list, the God Complex, Almost People/Rebel Flesh, and Impossible Astronaut are some of my favorite of the show. I do really love the Power of Three. These are based on season arc/average feeling per episode/rewatchability on a subjective level.

[caramelloss]

"you are my witch"

lilia calderu x reader • pure smut • 3.2k w/c

summary: you've been friends with lilia calderu for years. drunken from the poison of wine, you confess your love for the woman. although reluctant to admit her feelings, because she harbors a secret you don't know, you learn that lilia feels the same way. years of yearning come to an end, and you find yourself falling into your desires, unable to control what has been kept away for so long.

taglist: @setsuna1415 @honeypiperpizza123 @valarmorghuli @allseingeye @im-a-carnivorous-plant @worstendingever @ramblininsomnia @wandamaximoff-simp @mrsines @onlyv4use @kenzie-floops @screamsin-gay @numenamortenia @valkyrierain @babythere @inlovewithalcinadimitrescu @astrophilliaxx @giona45-5 @evilregal2002 @crescendoofstars @yourbasicqueerie @primalnight @darkangelchronicles @sapphic-girlss @thegoddamnfeels @doctormaviatorres @i-hate-most-insects @brisgayshit97 @iheartmilfzzsposts @redrouge7e7as @novavala @finnza @wandringlightsaber @romanoffsho @kingpreciouswrld @emilyprentitss @elobv10 @wandasreallover @kaypastore38 @thegayassbit-ch @marinalunaestrella @gryffindor-forlife @lorrainemylove @anais-casablanca @girlwithissuesworld @ofgoldandbraid @justgaygirlthings @beachhausu @deathly777 @confuseuniverse @eepyvampy @whyilovewomen @r-3-becca @roksana6448 @bugcolector @etw12 @heartsfromelle @zyguard118 @thelesbianapollokid4 @opossum-in-disguise @snoopyaah @amberwhale @marisacoulterswife @ionlylikefictionalpeople @derry-n @evie-101 @ganyulover123

author's note: so first i'd like to just THANK all of you for blowing up my post asking for who'd like to be tagged, because the taglist isn't even done, i can't fit them all in the blog. also, i tagged you if you liked or reblogged the tag ask post, because i bolded i would tag those who liked or reblogged. second; i'm sorry this isn't a longer fic. it was originally planned to be, but i don't want to use my idea i came up with in a one chapter fic, i'd like it to be used in a longer more meaningful one. i really hope you enjoy this. if you have any positive, negative, or general feedback, please let me know! i want to become the best author i can be for you guys. also, i'd love to receive any asks for fanfiction or one shots! i'm currently focused on my big multi character x reader fic, but im 100% open to and willing to write for your requests.

content includes: fingering, oral stimulation, biting, praise, hair pulling, pet name usage

you noticed the difference in her eyes like it was bolded in bright red ink. her smile fell, like an angel to descend from heaven. 'this is it' you thought, 'she’ll hate me.' you turned away in shame, your heart dropped. words flooded out, stupid, careless words. "i love you, lilia." 

you couldn't bear to look, you feared the disagreement would show on her face. your body tenses, and you scrunch the bridge of your nose with your fingers. you expect her to tell you to get out, or leave.. but you hear nothing. 

but you feel, oh, you feel. 

you feel her behind you, closer than when you had muttered those stupid, damning words. her fingers gently traced your neck, and you closed your eyes, the yearning in your soul up to its brink of expression. each breath you take is shaky, is heavy. you tilt your head aside, desperate to feel her warmth on your skin forever. 

you open your eyes when you feel her breath on your neck. she must've noticed your body's reaction, because she paused, and remained still. lilia traces her fingers down your body, to your hips. she stops here, her lips close to your ears, as her body presses into your back. 

you lean into her, your head slightly leaning back, at the pure and utter pleasure you feel being so close to her. her lips part, and with such composure, yet so little solidity, she delivers a line that would come to send shivers down your spine. "i have loved you since i saw you the first time, long ago. i am consumed and rattled by you at every waking second.." her hands pull you in, and you hum at the gesture. your eyes are closed, not because you hate this, or don't want to be there, but because the way you long for her in this moment now is too painful for you to bear. a lump forms in your throat when you feel her wet cheek graze your neck. she was in tears, and you needed to console her; but how? how should you console her now? you did not have much time to think. her lips, warm, soft, and gentle, were on your neck. the kiss she blessed your skin with felt like one that existed prior to the world, and forever past the present. it was torture, it was devastation, when she pulled away. it hurt, it was brutal.. so brutal, your lips parted, and you gasped quietly. your hand reached back for her head, and you enveloped your fingers in the curly, silver locks of her hair. you held her head close to yours, as her thumbs rubbed gently upon your hips. her voice broke as she completed her confession, and your heart broke with it; you'd do anything to protect her, to keep her from harm. "i'm a witch, y/n.. how could you ever love a witch?" 

your eyes opened, and you stopped breathing, for just a moment. you were sure you'd heard wrong. with a furrowed brow, and a worrisome expression, you broke away from her touch, from her hold. you turned to her, and your head tilted to the side, as tears began to form in your waterline. the sight of her, so weak, so doubtful of herself, so ashamed.. your heart shattered like a broken mirror. 

her face was lined with streaks of wet. she had cried for this, she suffered for it. she couldn't even look at you, her eyes were avert. 

your hands raced to cup her cheeks, and you gently wipe away her tears. her lips part, in astonishment, followed by her eyes meeting your gaze. finally, you saw those beautiful eyes again. your heart skipped a thousand beats at the sight of those irises. you smile, and your face softens. "lilia.." you whisper, your forehead pressed against hers now, "i've loved you since the sun rose opposite the moon. i've chased you in all of my wildest dreams. i've loved you in every moment and i would not stop because of what you are or are not." at your notation, her lips fold into a smile. she grabs your wrists softly, holding them. once more you spoke, "you are my witch, my little piece of divinity. you are mine, and my heart is yours." you watch as her eyes move from your eyes to your lips, and you wish for nothing but her to kiss you. 

after all these years, of being her "friend", you have never wanted anything more than for her to kiss you. it's like an insatiable hunger you cannot destroy. 

lilia bites her lip, and she grabs your chin with her pointer finger and her thumb. you start to breath heavy, and your heart begins to race. she brings your face to hers, so close that your lips graze against one another’s. you ache for her, you long for her. you need to taste her, to merge your body, your soul, your heart, with hers. you need her to kiss you. 

and she does. her lips mesh with yours in perfect harmony, like the melody of heaven’s sea. your mind is adrift, clouded. you cannot form a thought, you do not desire to form a thought. her unaccompanied hand caresses the small of your back, and you pull her closer with the hands you hold on her face. 

she slips her tongue along your bottom lip, and you moan softly into the kiss. her grip on your chin releases, and she holds your jaw instead. she guides you through the long, heart-felt kisses. her lips control your body, your mind. 

warmth builds between your thighs, and your head is still covered by nothing but a blanket of emptiness. lilia is the first to pull away, her lack of oxygen in her lungs being the culprit. you curse the living necessity of air. 

you yourself breathe heavy, panting almost. lilia’s lipstick is smudged, and you smirk at the notion that you've just kissed this marvel of a woman. she notices your cocky smile, and a single eyebrow lifts. she now wore a smirk herself. 

“you're looking at me like you've just seen me naked, y/n.” you chuckle when she says this. “while i wouldn't be opposed to that, i'm just a little satisfied with the fact that in the midst of kissing me, you forgot about your lipstick.”  

her smirk faded and her lips parted again, she pop looked offended, but you could tell it was just her beautiful sense of sarcasm. 

“fix it for me?” she asked this with a lower tone and a wink, and you felt your core throb at the sound of her voice. she wanted you to kiss her again. 

you ran your tongue across your bottom lip, and you couldn't help your smile. her hands guided your face close, and you pushed a curl behind her ear. she grew desperate, unable to wait. her lips caught yours, and you shut your eyes at the contact. in your head you pictured her eyes, beautiful and brown, like the rock embedded and shaded on the side of a mountain. your grip on her hair tightened as she pushed you back softly, making sure not to break the kiss. her lips were soft, so soft it felt like the comfort a pillow brings in the hour of sleep. you moan as your lower back makes contact with her counter, and your head leans back, which breaks the embrace. 

the wetness between your thighs grows, and you figure your underwear must be utterly ruined. lilia's fingers stroked your hair, and she shook her head slightly, a whisper following shortly. "let me taste you.. every inch of you.." you bite your lip, and hold her gaze, nodding hesitantly; even though you don't feel hesitant on your answer at all. her smirk returns, and her hands descend, down from your hair to your neck. she drags them further down, past your shoulders. she stops at where the unbuttoned cardigan opens, pushing the material off of your arms and body. her warmth intoxicates you when her skin brushes against yours. she plants hot kisses on your upper arms, which are exposed because of the camisole top you wore. 

her hands found the straps to your shirt, and she pulled them down slowly, kissing the empty place they used to cover. you tense, and your eyes shut as your lips purse together while you try to conceal the soft hum of pleasure you make.

lilia's fingers pull away the top, leaving you completely naked and exposed from your waist up. she smiles at the sight, her hands cupping your breasts. you feel the slick between your legs, it seems the inner part of your thighs had gotten soaked by extension.

her thumbs grazed over your nipples, and the sensation was enough to drive you wild. you pulled her head into the curve of your neck, your lips parted as soft moans escaped. she chuckles and her lips start to kiss your neck. 

your knees go weak, simply from the ecstasy her lips brings you. her thumbs lose the feel of your sensitive buds, and she begins to creep down your throat. she leaves sloppy kisses down your collarbone, and down to your nipples. her eyes close as she takes one into her mouth, suckling on the sweet spot. your eyes fall back, and you inhale, biting down onto your lip to stop yourself from being loud. her fingers play with your lone nipple, and you feel as though you will not be able to take much more of this before becoming pathetic for her. 

the witch releases your areola from her mouth and takes in the other, her tongue lapping around the bundle of nerves. her hands trace the curves of your body. they pause when she's reached your hips, and she digs her nails into your skin. the pain blends with the pleasure beautifully, and it's as if they are interchangeable. 

you breathe heavily, your stomach twitching when she starts to drag her lips down your stomach. your pussy was so wet that she could smell the scent of arousal from your waistline. her fingers pulled up the black skirt you wore, and it revealed your soaked nude panties. she chuckled, looking up at you with eyes that were darkened and overwhelmed with lust. she bit her lip and furrowed her brow, which made you roll your eyes. 

“you're so wet, darling. i could just devour you.” you gently pull her hair, forcing her head back a little. she smirks, and you pout. “please, i need you” you say, pleading for her tongue, for her fingers, for her to be the one to shape you into a mess of a woman. 

she winks, bringing her mouth to your inner thigh. she leaves kisses along your skin, and it seems as though she’s teasing you. her eyes stay locked onto yours with each touch of her lips, she wants to see your face as she tortures you.

your hands release her hair, and grab onto the counter behind you, your nails scratch the surface with each new touch. her eyes look so dark, and it turns you on even more. 

but your view of them is gone as she bites into your other thigh. her teeth are sharp, and your jaw drops, you whimper. her teeth release, and she kisses the bite mark. you open your eyes to see it, to see the mark she had left. it was dark red, and your expression changed, you felt your core throb uncontrollably, and you grabbed her head by her hair, guiding her to your cunt. your eyes pleaded with her. 

lilia opened her mouth and licked the wet slick on your panties, all while looking you dead in the eyes. the touch was faint, but it was all your body needed to jerk up. it was so cruel, the way she left you needy and desperate for her. you couldn't think beyond her tongue on your clit, or her fingers buried in your warm folds. 

she bit the material of your under garment, pulling it slowly down your legs. her eyes were stolen away by the sight of you completely naked and in front of her, soaked, ruined. you were such a slut for her. you wonder if she would tease you about how soiled you got for her later down the line. 

the witch sighed, and her lips kissed the very inside of your thighs, right beside where you writhed for her. you thought you might faint. 

using your hand, you rubbed her cheek, shaking your head at the sight of her, down on her knees, ready to please you.  

she turned her face, kissing your gentle fingers. you smiled, and you took a deep breath as she brought her face as close as possible to your core. her eyes were focused on your face, you could tell she wanted to watch your face as she ate you out. so typical of her. 

her face buried between your legs, her tongue circling your clit. your hands shot behind you to the counter once more, desperate to hold yourself up. your eyes closed, and your back arched. the moan that echoed through the room was inevitable. she took her time, finding the nerves that were more sensitive and paying more attention to them. you thought she must've found you stupid to be so wet and needy for her. 

her tongue sped up, and she took your clit into her mouth, suckling the bud. you couldn't control the way your hips bucked, or the way your knees fell wobbly and weak. her hands grabbed your hips to stabilize her, and she pulled her mouth away in a flash. 

you were worrisome, you thought maybe you'd messed up, or maybe she'd realized she didn't want you like this. it was almost heartbreaking to feel her pull away. 

she had never stopped looking at you, though. you of course couldn't tell because your eyes had closed before out of the extremity of what you were feeling. 

she looked serious, determined, but her eyes were still as dark as before. you blush at the sight of her face covered in your taste, your slick. her mouth opened, and you heard every word with such a heavy impact. “do not close your eyes again. i want to see your eyes, your face, at every moment. do you understand?”

your heart starts to race again, there was just something so inexplicable about the way her words made you feel. you nod your head, scared that if you spoke your words would be jumbled. she didn't accept it though, her voice changed, from demanding to mischievous. “you understand..? what do you understand, dear? how does it make you feel..? tell me how i make you feel.” 

you bite your lip, looking up at the ceiling. maybe you were throwing up a prayer that you wouldn't mess up, or maybe you were just trying to prepare yourself for what she wanted from you. her right hand slipped from your hip, and you didn't notice, so fixated on her request. you went to start speaking, but as you did, you felt her fingers inside of you. 

your head leaned back, and you closed your eyes. a hushed “fuck!”, was followed by a loud humming. she smirked, “what did i say about closing your eyes, baby?” 

you forced them open, forced them to lock their gaze down onto her own. you wanted to make her happy. you needed to please her just as badly as you needed her to make you cum. 

“i'm sorry, darling—” as you began again, her fingers started to pump inside of your pussy, and your mouth lay agape. she didn't stop, even as you took a moment to continue, and you took a deep breath. 

“you want me to look— oh, fuck.. god.” it was like she went faster with each word you spoke. you took note of her devilish grin, thinking that you'd someday get your revenge. “you want me to look at you, you want to see me when— shit!” your body flinches as she curls her digits inside you, her speed still gradually increasing. “come on, princess, you're doing so good” she whispered this against your clit, right before sucking it into her mouth again. 

you bit your lip and your hands pulled her by the hair, just giving you something to hold onto. “when i cum for you, when i'm just a puddle for you.. you want to see me when i take your fingers!” 

the words came out shaky, spaced between your moans and whimpers. her fingers started to go as fast as they could, and lilia lapped her tongue around your wet clit, stimulating every single part of your cunt. she was still looking at you. you held her gaze as you started to tremble, your body shaking as it came to the brink of an orgasm. 

you finished your thought, giving her what she asked of you. “it makes me feel like abandoning everything for you, to have you like this, every second, every moment.”

her eyes closed, and you watched her remain between your thighs. your body hit a climax, and your hips bucked up, your back arching. you yelled for her, her name. your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you bit your lip to muffle any further sounds as she fucked you through your orgasm. 

when you had came, your white fluid casing over her fingers, she pulled her mouth away from your clitoris. 

you, with your head still fuzzy, had managed to pull her back up to you by her hair. her lips were so wet because of you. you immediately pull her in to kiss you, tasting yourself on her tongue and lips. she pulled away, breaking the contact. her teeth captured your bottom lip and you sighed when she pulled it back. 

lilia’s lips started kissing your neck, and she brought them to your ear, whispering hushedly, “clean your pretty little mess, my love.” 

you whimper, and you open your lips, as she slips her two cum-covered fingers inside of your mouth. you suck off your fluid, and the growing wetness between your legs returns.

the older witch laughs, kissing your neck again. her lips find yours once more, and she kisses you like there is no other action in this world. her tongue invades your mouth, as she tastes the sweetness that remains. 

[saphire-dance]

Welcome to the Transformers Fandom

Did you just see Transformers One? It was good, wasn't it? Do you want to be fannish about it? This post is for you.

First thing to know is we use the tag maccadam. This practice dates back to when the live action movies would flood the Transformers tag with actor pics. Maccadam is where you will find the robots. It is a reference to Maccadam's Old Oil House. A bar found in some continuities. You can still use the Transformers tag

Speaking of references. Let me introduce you to your new best friend: TFWiki. The Transformers Wiki is the place to go if you want to know anything about Transformers. Shows, Movies, Comics, Books, Toys. It's all there. We're spoiled with how good this wiki is. Thanks, guys.

Now you don't have to watch more Transfomers to be a fan. If you loved the movie you're already a fan. You don't have to ever watch another thing and you are still a fan and welcome here. But I'm betting you want to see more Transfomers. Here are some other continuities and where to find them. This is not an extensive list. This is a starter pack.

The Transformers (1984) AKA Generation 1 AKA G1. The original that started it all. Dubious 80s animation and some of the greatest voice actors of all time. Available on Tubi for free.

Beast Wars AKA TFBW. If G1 started everything Beast Wars is what kept it from dying out. Absolutely bleeding edge computer animation in the 90s. It's, uh, very dated, but the story and voice acting still hold up and I recommend giving it a chance. Available on Tubi for free.

Transformers Animated AKA TFA (yes we fought the Star Wars folks over that tag) Debuted the same year as the first Live Action Movie. It is very anime influenced and shows a very different side to our favorite characters. One of the more popular shows in the fandom. Available on Tubi for free. Also on Pluto

Transformers Prime AKA TFP AKA Prime. Another very popular show with the fandom. Part of the Aligned continuity which featured books, games, and other shows. This is probably closest to Transformers One in characterization and I would recommend making this your next watch if you can. The First season is on Netflix with the rest available on Tubi. Yeah I don't know what is up with that.

Rescue Bots AKA TFRB This is a Show for Preschoolers, but don't let that scare you away. It is one of the best Transformers shows. Somehow also part of the Aligned continuity. Season one is on Netflix and it is also available on Pluto

Transformers Cyberverse AKA Cyberverse AKA TFCV. A fun Bumblebee focused show. Very few humans. Season 1 is on Hasbro's YouTube channel, Season 3 (????) is on Netflix, Also on Pluto.

Transformers EarthSpark AKA TFES. The most recent show. Lots of new characters and a new side to Megatron that I love. On Paramount+ and YouTube premium.

Live Action Movies. There are 7 live action movies the first 5 are directed by Micheal Bay and are collectively known as the Bayverse The other two movies Bumblebee and Rise of the Beasts, are also sometimes lumped in with Bayverse. It is debated if they are reboots or prequels. Personally Bumblebee is my favorite. They are all available on Paramount+

Comics. Comics have been part of Transformers from the very beginning. First with Marvel and later with other publishers. Marvel Dreamwave and IDW are the best known publishers. IDW is still very popular in fandom. Currently comics are being published by Skybound. Unfortunately finding out of print comics can be very difficult/expensive and I recommend checking TFWIKI for summaries if you can't find them.

[saryasy]

tagged by @butchdiaz for a 2024 fic roundup but I'm copying them and adding my edits in there too 🥰 this is the most I've written in a year (and by a huge margin) by virtue of me writing my longest two fics ever back to back. so hopefully next year goes similarly because I already miss writing 😭😭

May:

sounds like forever (5k)

No, he doesn't remember falling. He just remembers looking at his best friend one evening, cooping up a sleeping Christopher into his arms, murmuring ‘I got this’ to a half-asleep Eddie who'd made to carry his own son instead. He'd watched as Buck walked quiet but confident steps to Christopher's room, depositing him in bed with a whispered ‘goodnight’, and thought, in his sleepy haze, I love him.

my very first buddie fic!! wrote it a few days after finishing the show for the first time. was still finding the characters voices but it'll always be special to me

August:

Season of Hope (After the Flood) (58k)

Eddie's summer of missing his son, unrepressing more than just his sexuality, and realizing that somewhere along the way he's fallen in love with his best friend and forgot to fall out of it.

And maybe that's okay.

I genuinely still can't believe this fic exists. and the fact that it does is all thanks to @livingincolorsagain. my longest fic ever yet I wrote it relatively quickly. and I still think back on the writing process fondly. getting to figure out where the story's headed. the chapter titles. all the lovely feedback. it was such a lovely journey even the parts where it fought me lol

September:

slow motion, double vision in rose blush (20k)

Eddie has kissed a man.

Eddie Diaz. His friend. His Eddie. Has kissed a man.

Which is strange because Buck is sure as hell he'd remember kissing Eddie. OR Buck is very normal about his platonic friend's kissing habits.

this one was literally a haze. I had an idea for them watching their first kiss through the screen and absolutely ran with it. I think that one scene in there is 12k on its own which is kinda insane. also only realized after posting that's it's my first published E rated fic

November:

merry christmas please don't call

MY VERY FIRST EDIT. my baby. I'd been thinking about getting into editing for a bit back then. but was way too intimidated to take the first step. then I heard this song on tiktok and was possessed by the ghost of shannon. and here we are

my heart is buried in venice

I still don't know how I made this one in such a short period of time. but also not complaining. loved putting the opening montage together so much

futile devices

I do. love you. yeah

December:

drawn to the blood

okay this is the first idea for an edit I ever had! idk how close I got to what I had in mind. plus it gave me hell. but it's out there now so!

What do you do about a haunted house.. (600)

a little tumblr ficlet I wrote half asleep because I was so happy I finally felt like writing again I couldn't let it slip through my fingers and risk forgetting it in the morning

so you are tired

my last edit of the year!!!! wasn't gonna post it but a told me to lol. initially it was more buddie focused. but the song is so buck I had to make some adjustments. absolutely loved cutting the song as I please lol

not to get too sappy at the end here but getting into this fandom and getting back into creating and getting to create new things and making new friends has been so so fun. thank you so much to everyone who's read and watched and said a nice thing in the tags and comments 💕💕💕💕💕

no pressure tagging @livingincolorsagain @sibylsleaves @buick118 @userbuddie @confessionseddie @chronicowboy

[redstringraven]

11 and 12

*crawls back over here after work week* >:J!!! thank you!!

(also, please excuse that this ask is visually a bit more of a mess. apparently i wrote too much for tumblr to be chill with my usual formatting. apologies. e-e;;; maybe it'll let me format it after the fact. it did not)

TMNT's 40th anniversary ask game!

11.) which version of raphael is your favorite?

like i said in the tags for the meme, it's obvious/a given that my favorite version for all the turtles is gonna be the 2003 one. but since i also said i won't stop/discourage y'all from asking anyway AND said i don't have a favorite out of the boys, i'll use this as an excuse to babble incoherently about some of the reasons i love them. it's not uncommon that i enjoy hot-headed characters. this could partly be because enneagram-wise i'm a 9, and we're the 'odd one out' when it comes to the anger/gut triad (i kind of touched on this concept in my enneagram series; apologies). so, while i often smother my own temper, i still feel it under the surface. i get being angry. anger is also often a secondary emotion--it's an emotion that comes up because you're attempting to disguise something else; "anger is easier" as some quotes may say. i find it interesting to squint and find out why we're 'angry'. what's actually going on? when it comes to '03 raph, i don't think his anger stems from any ONE thing, i think it's more a bundle and that's part of the reason it's so easily set off. a significant piece of it is probably due to things i discussed in his enneagram post: learning to recognize the world is cruel/uncaring and trying to find ways for him--and the few people he cares about--to survive. raph is also a very intense person. anger is an intense emotion. it makes sense that he'd find comfort turning to it when he otherwise can't identify or articulate what he's really feeling. and this isn't to say he's not emotionally intelligent (far from it), i just think he struggles to slow his head and heart down to put names and words to everything flooding him--and WHEN he struggles, he gets frustrated and impatient with himself, which just makes him struggle more. and i appreciate the handful of examples we get that in-series where he can't quite verbalize it, but you can still feel and see it. i think raph likes to take care of people. his brothers, master splinter, april, casey, tyler, mrs. morrison, angel--whether they're someone who he loves, or someone who can't fend for themselves, or both, he just seems to instinctually take people beneath his wing. he's still learning that vulnerability doesn't equate to weakness (you can't show weakness in a world that rejects you), and he's also still learning to harness and manage all those emotions when they turn to anger--steer them to something more productive and beneficial instead. because anger, itself, isn't inherently bad. it's what you do with it. this is something he struggles with at the beginning of the series but seems to get a better grasp of as the seasons pass. i love raph as a hot-headed character who's a marshmallow inside not because of the trope itself, but because it feels very real to me given the circumstances he grew up under, lives under, and how he views the world and how intensely he loves. he's not just there to be "the angry one" so we have that archetype on the team, there're reasons. it's both a strength and a weakness of his. one he's aware of and carries shame for. my man also has an excellent sense of humor; right up my alley. i love him very much but i've already talked a lot and should probably stop here. … also, he hates bugs and got fucking swallowed by one and proceeded to chest-burster his way out of it, like. we love to see a short-king winning and getting to reference a movie he probably loved in the process. talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same; yee-frickin'-haw indeed, sir.

12.) which version of donatello is your favorite?

copy/paste that first paragraph from the above answer here.

hilariously, like how i seem to have a pattern of enjoying hot-headed characters, i also feel like i have a pattern of loving the more quiet and compassionate ones. this also probably plays into my 9 on the enneagram, since 9s tend to be peacemakers and our place in the web allows us to better see the perspectives of others. i, also, understand the struggle that comes with not wanting to 'rock the boat' and kind of keep those i'm surrounded by happy and chill and secure. but don's also SMART. and i've been a nancy drew reading/game playing bitch since i could read. puzzle-solving… mysteries… cleverness… GIMMIE THAT SHIT.

don was my favorite as a kid, and i think that came both from the fact he was 'the purple one' (joking that was a bias was half of a joke; shut up i was like thirteen) and because he was resourceful, clever, and observant. i loved his kindness, i loved how when things seemed dire he'd usually be the one with an idea, and i probably saw a lot of myself in him whether it be in playing mediator between my siblings, or in knowing a lot of seemingly Random Shit™ about a lot of Useless Things™, or in the simple fact that he often wanted to be left alone to do the thing(s) he was really passionate about. i got a lot of flack for all the time i spent on the computer as a kid. didn't matter if i was writing or drawing or reading about topics i wanted to learn more about--you know, productive/creative/thoughtful activities--i was constantly badgered that i was addicted to it and didn't spend enough time with my family. i guess any moment that don having a weird interest in something "paid off" was validating to me in a way? as well as him not being the strongest fighter, but still being valuable in the team unit (i'm an artist who grew up in a family of athletes). i also appreciated and admired that despite his kindness, he wasn't a doormat. definitely a do-no-harm-but-take-no-shit kind of guy, and lord knows teen!hannah needed to learn to stand up for herself better. so, yeah. i think as a kid i saw a lot of myself in don. i appreciated him for existing in that way.

all that obviously still stands as an adult, the 'favoritism' has just faded away as i've grown to understand and adore the other three more.

don's pretty outstanding, man. while he's usually the route of the pacifist, it's evident that he has a clear line in the sand, and once you've crossed that line… you're gonna realize that when you fuck around, you find out. and you're gonna find out very quickly.

he'll take what little he has around him to scrap together a breathing apparatus for a lost and brain-damaged triceraton (even though the triceraton was previously an enemy), he'll spend months trying to find a cure for a bunch of strangers he barely knows, he's able to empathize with a bunch of child-like nanobots… but at the same time, he'll also blast you with your own arm-canon, drill you into a pile of mulch, trick you into going to a hornet dimension, and verbally assassinate your dignity for all that it's worth.

i love that so much of him IS grounded in creation. making things. learning and understanding. and that kindness is often one of his main driving points. i just wanna take his shoulders and shake him sometimes. in the most loving, motherly and enthusiastic of ways.

…i also firmly maintain that he's physically the strongest out of the brothers. that detail, combined with him being the least competitive out of the four, really amuses me. because i like to think that when it comes to arm wrestling, someone might challenge don because they think nerd = weak. and don's initially not interested in humoring the challenge, but his brothers are behind him like ":)))c no. no, donnie you should do it. it'll be fun!" because they all know. and don's finally just like

… e_e … fine.

and proceeds to slam the other person's arm down before they even know they've lost. his brothers stand there with gremlin smirks, impish grins, snickering, mischievous boyish giggling, and don wanders off unceremoniously to get back to a project. he's got a lot to do today but this was a nice break.

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

I just woke up and noticed we had more extra posts in the Zuma Week tag. I'll share them too, in a bit. But first...

Just wanted to thank everyone who participated!!! It wouldn't really have happened without all of us coming together for this!!

This whole thing was very important to me and probably to a lot of you too. Lately, most I've seen coming from the fandom was just sadness, frustration, resignation, complaints on how things have been going on about the show. Sure, I'm no exception, I posted some of my opinion on this matter too. It got to the point where the few "safe spaces" for enjoying Paw Patrol "content" were now mostly only the currently active askblogs run by fans, and even those were affected - what with people sometimes questioning Zuma why he hasn't shown up in Rocky's Garage yet, for example...

It was a very good change of air to finally have nice posts about something again. We spent an entire week saying good things, saying why we like this or that, sharing each other's posts, commenting, creating amazing connections, stories, some headcanons, heck we got even short fanfics and fandub clips! How cool is that?? For a moment, we ENJOYED things about the show once again, we CHERISHED one of the characters. And we were HAPPY doing so.

This is what a fandom is supposed to be like. We all know the show has taken bad turns, some poor decisions by the producers, etc. But aren't you tired of not enjoying anymore what used to be such a good show to you? Maybe a comfort show for so many of us? Seeing only complaints around is tiring. It's not secret to most of you I'm nearly on my 30s now (One month from now!! Omg) and the amount of times I left from previous fandoms I was in just because they were no longer enjoyable places to be in... I can't even bother to count. I didn't want this to happen here too. I refuse to let it happen yet again and have Paw Patrol be just one more past in my list like "Yeah I used to like this, but everyone would only complain about stuff not going well with the show or their favorite characters, there was barely anything nice around to enjoy, so I left".

We're remembering how it was to enjoy the show, enjoy moments, have fun picking favorites or top 3 or 5, bringing up funnies and cuties, come up with headcanons and little stories. Let's always go back to it, what do you say? Sure we are frustrated, but it's been a few years from what I know and complaining didn't get you guys anywhere better about the show's situation with the producers. Social media mods/staffs aren't allowed to engage/respond to negative feedback - as neutral as you try to be, it's still considered negative feedback. So, why not show them what we like, why we love this show, so they can see it?

With that being said...

We are NOT DONE YET!!!

I still will finish my post for Zuma's Birthday prompt, because it was just too big a thing to get done in time in my current situation. At least this means I can take some extra time and work on it properly now. Another friend was very busy this week too and will post their stuff for each prompt in the next days and I'll share them too. And there will be an extra surprise about all the little stories lovingly written by @cottoncandyswirl828 for each prompt!! I just need my new laptop to be delivered here in a week from now, hehe...

In the meantime... I'll release the next event in the Paw Patrol Community at some point today!! No, it's not another Appreciation Week already, you'll see 😂 But next year we'll have more Appreciation Weeks to celebrate, praise and cherish more pups!! I already have the next one planned, just gotta pick a good week for it!! IN THE MEANTIME, LET'S KEEP FLOODING OUR TAGS WITH NICE STUFF 💙❤️🩷💚💛🧡

Once again, thank you all!!!!

[guppygiggles]

((Oh shoot I was mid-ask and pushed the wrong thing and I’m not sure it sent so starting over 😅))

Anywho hello hi there I really hope you don’t mind the like spamming (and interactions in general from nsfw blogs); I just really couldn’t help myself bc I’m resonating so much with your content and tags and you seem like a genuinely lovely human with absolutely adorable artwork so I wanted to show you some appreciation 🥺💗 It immediately comes across how much you love and care for your OCs via the lore you’ve created and the utmost tender way you talk about them and the way they interact with each other ?? 😭 it’s impossible not to fall in love with them too. I also hope you’ve heard copious amount of feedback about how brilliant your writing is - so detailed, so warm, so intimate…it’s extremely flustering and endlessly endearing and I’m so grateful you share your gift with all of us on here! In particular, I’m positively fascinated with Avery’s backstory and anatomy and am loving discovering the depth of the layers of thought that you put into composing him. Excited to learn more 🥰

((((I’m also approaching my third decade of life next year and it’s always nice seeing rep for folks my age in the community who are still enjoying and exploring their relationship with this “kink”(using this term lightly bc I know everyone may not consider themselves to fall under that umbrella). I too met my partner on here, and it’s beautiful to hear that things can work out in the long run so thank you for that tidbit of reassurance 💗 sending wishes of happiness for you both!!))))

Sorry again for this long winded ramble I was just inspired and wanted to send the warm vibes I received while perusing your awesome blog back your way!!! Hope you have a lovely day 💕

-🐰

Anon... my god! 😭💙 /very positive

Crying into my tea on a Sunday morning... god, I am so touched by this, I'm just falling apart...

Let me respond to this sequentially, so I don't just get flooded with emotion (and if you've been watching how I post, you already know this is going to be long as fuck... Sorry! 🥲)

1. I am absolutely okay with NSFW blogs interacting with me, and spam interactions don't bother me at all! The only interactions I don't want are from minors and dickheads, haha. No worries on this, peach.

2. Fewer people interact with my fic than with my art, but when I tell you I treasure every single thing people say about my fic... god, there's just nothing like it. My fic is so, so close to my heart. I've been a writer much longer than I've been an artist, so I feel like I can really express myself through writing in a way I can't with art... I'm trying, but I'm not quite there yet! God, thank you so much for your kind words... I am so grateful that the warmth and love I feel when I'm writing is felt by others, too. I really try to capture the very essence of how these characters and their emotions feel in my mind and heart.

And you like the lore, too? 🥺 My long-winded rambling? My wordy expositions? God, my heart! 😭💙

3. I am so happy to know you met your partner in this community, too! I am really wishing the best for you, and yes, it absolutely can work out! My spouse and I are very different from each other, but we are still best friends after six years, and I don't see that changing any time soon.

4. I feel like this community tends to be younger, especially here on Tumblr, so it's kind of refreshing to hear from someone in the same phase of life as me. If there's anything I didn't expect, it's that I would still be exploring my feelings about tickling (and, well, intimacy as a whole) well into adulthood. It's funny how things come back around, though... I was making tickling doodles in my diary when I was just a kid, but I stopped (and, stopped drawing altogether, really) after high school. Had to work through a ton of shame, religious trauma, and just a metric fuckton of other shit, all to come right back around to doing tickling doodles again, haha! I was delighted to find that, at 30 (and with a whole lot of new experiences and context), it still makes me just as giddy now as it did then.

All of this is to say... There may be common threads throughout one's life, but we aren't really set in stone the way people think. You can absolutely discover, and rediscover, yourself and what brings you joy over and over again as you grow and have new experiences. If I can give any advice on this, it's this: Don't close yourself off. You only have this one life, so use it to experience all you can. Even if you're shy, like me... do your best to lend a kind word, an ear, or a hand as often as possible. You never know who, or what, is gonna set your soul on fire.

Anon, thank you so much for this ask... And if you ever want to chat, I'd be more than delighted. 💙

[sdfghjkolpdfoiuhgbcnf]

INTRO POST!!! <33

Hi!!! This blog seems really similar to my main one, except this one works! I'm going to mainly be using this blog instead, so if my moots could follow this one that'd be amazing! thankss <33 Also! My pfp is not my art sadly, it was made by amazing friend :DD Update: my messages and inbox are still not working :((( I swear I'm not ignoring you, staff please fix my accountt

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Name: Honey! But tbh u can call me anything, i LOVE nicknames (the more deranged and random, the better) Pronouns: She/her Age: MINOR (ill prolly block u if u have smut or NSFW)

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Fandoms!!!

- Percy Jackson (Books) - School Bus Graveyard (Webtoon) - Owl House (Show) - Your Turn To Die (Video Game) - Gravity Falls (Show) - Avatar the Last Airbender (Show) - Hunger Games (Books) - Miraculous Ladybug (Show) - Homesick (Webtoon) - Cavetown (Music) - Taylor Swift (Music) - Prolly more but I forgot lol

IF YOU LIKE ANY OF THEM, JUST SAY HI PLEASEE, ID LOVE TO TALK YOU

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More Bout Me! (Last One is Important!)

I'm an ENFP (mbti nerd hehe)

Hufflepuff <33

Can't spell... Good luck figuring out what im saying!

very deranged when prompted

MENTA HEALTH ADVOCATE (abelists, pls DNI)

GIANT ALLY (homophobes/transphobes, pls DNI)

Hyperactive and very random! (lemme know if you're overwhelmed by that sorta stuff, ill try to tone it down :) )

Chatterbox! Love talking, just can't start conversations! DM or send me asks though!

very very curious, love talking to ppl about studies and fun facts

Character my friends associate me with and I relate to the most: Luz Noceda from the Owl House

My vibes are all over the place- (im emo, cutesy, and chaotic)

I MISS TONS OF SOCIAL CUESS!!! I'm trying to work on it but if i ever overstep my boundaries or make you uncomfy, pleasee let me know <33 im just a bit oblivious sometimes

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Trying (and loy-kew failing) to write: ao3 This is a big mess of all my interests hehe Reblog heavyyy I love tag games!!! And asks :DD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEE spam me Uhhh i think thats it! i love making friends so plss flood my DMs, i love meeting ppl (i will act weird tho, this is a warning) esp to give me recs for books/shows/media in general

MY DMS ARE ALWAYS OPEN IF ANYONE WANTS TO VENT!!! (i may not be the best at comforting but I can listen <33)

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------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Thanks for reading! (its a lot, ik, i blabber, i tried to bold key parts) Boop! Bye <33

[priwenshallprevail]

GETTING TO KNOW YOU.

respond to the following prompts out of character. then, tag others that you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

( Picture optional )

ROLEPLAYER NAME: Mjodvitnir , or Wraith to some.

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: He/Him/They/Monster

MUSE NAME: Geoffrey Aodhán McCullum

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: Tumblr messages, or even Discord if you'd prefer. If you want my discord, just ask. Whatever is easier for my partners.

EXPERIENCE: At the very least 20 years of experience in role playing. Back in the chatrooms of american online, or myspace. Am I showing my age yet ? I know, it's such cringe. I want to say my first three characters I ever role played was Rufus Shinra from Final Fantasy VII and two oc characters, one VtM relative , the other Werewolf. I'm wanting to say my character had been Tremere clan. Can't remember my generation I had him under, though. My werewolf was from the tribe Silver Fangs. An Ahroun if I can remember correctly.

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: Well... absolutely everything! Dark, torturous gritty, gore-infested, action, combat, drama, comedy, angst, fast paced, slow paced, smut, fluff, one shots. I enjoy them all ! Hit me with all the above !

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS: I don't have many, but the few I do hold -- are more toward general respect for your partners. Don't be a dick.

God moding/meta-ing the RP. Don't use any info your character wouldn't have the slightest clue on. Unless it was discussed on how they may have acquired it prior , or planned through other threads. What remains in a thought collective, stays in the mind. Unless your muse holds telepathy in some aspect. Then it's a different story.

Judgement of writing style. My writing is far from perfect, and I often have one hell of a time judging myself. I don't need others on top of that, adding to my horrendous insecurities. I like detailing things, from the environment, to facial expressions, or even course of actions. I sometimes hyper focus on one thing and become brief with another. I don't understand it myself, nor always catch myself doing it. I hold horrible habit of having issue with repeating a certain word when writing my own posts, and I do sometimes get carried away over different synonyms to these said words. To the point that not every definition becomes so literal. How, or when I developed this habit, I do not know. It's a tick that only happens on my own writing, never on any of my partners. I judge myself too harshly in everything, not just writing. However, if I flood you with a lot of paragraphs -- that usually just means you struck my muse in a massive way and I wish to shower you with love. That I want to engage with you at what my brain considers my best. No body ever has to match whatever length I spew out. Please remember that. Also note, that even if my muse is struck so highly for your muse. My brain can still muck it up. It's a fickle beast. But that is adhd in a nutshell.

Judgement over ships/shipping. ... This one, the more I think on it, is a big one. I have been judged on ships in the past. On several accounts, actually.. some more recent. That it has gotten me reluctant to approach anyone to ask " hey lets try to smoosh these two together ! ?" Judging someone's ship is a disgusting form of shaming someone because they didn't conform to your ideals of said characters. Judgement with narcissistic attempts to push stuff a certain way -- yeah, no. Don't do it. Also, don't try to force ships . I support McReid, but if a Reid does not ? You back the fuck off the suggestion. It's really that simple. Respect. Your. Partners. Not everything revolves around romance anyways. Plenty of other relationships they can aim for. Friendships are a beautiful thing too. I mean -- platonic is also a thing as well, you know. It can bloom just as heavenly.

Constructive feedback though is more than welcome.

PLOTS OR MEMES: Yes ! I enjoy everything you're willing to throw at me, and will happily plan entire story lines to multiple connectives we can later link if that's what you'd like.

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: The in-betweeners. I love doing long replies when muse hits like a freight train, but if my muse isn't as strong -- or if my brain struggles to focus. Which it does, trust me. It'll be between that short and long range, or sometimes drop short all together. I don't ever expect you to match length if you don't wish to. That is not a requirement with me. As long as you can provide me with a paragraph to work with , I'm more than game.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: This is .. .. a tricky one for me. Cause my adhd makes it hard for me to write when everyone else is up in this household. So it would be somewhere between late night and early morn, for me. Eastern time.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: I'm honestly not sure if it's the we have similarities, or if my constant processing of what can be done to improve role play, suddenly bleeds into my own characteristics on a daily basis. Taking a bit of my characters with me every time. I'm a little withdrawn, keep a lot of my emotions on the inside, sometimes quick to become surly with forced authority types, described grumpy often , can be witty with the usual sarcastic bites -- if that accounts to anything.

Tagged by : I stolez it, but I don't remember from who. o.o;

Tagging : @fangsforhire , @coivi , @arcanescholxr , @anedendarkly , @undeadunalive , @astridnorddottir , @luposcainus

[fionnaskyborn]

🖥️,🚢,🥊,🎉,⭐,🎧 for the halo ask?

HEYA PIOTR!!! Sorry for keeping you waiting! ^^"

🖥️ - favourite AI?

Basic answer, Cortana. Honest answer, Virgil (if the combination of the Superintendent AI and Quick To Adjust counts as an answer) and Isabel. Those two are incredibly dear to me. And, of course, I can't leave out my beloved Auntie Dot. I get all in my feels about her because of how much emotion she shows for a "dumb" AI at times. It's not much, and it's very subtle wherever it *can* be seen - outside of her Firefight voicelines, anyway - but it's there, and it matters to me a lot. In a world where your class is severely stunted in the Having Feelings Of Any Kind department, especially when compared to your "smart" peers, imagine being the one urging your commander to get help despite not being... *wired* to do so. One warning is sufficient, yet you warn multiple times. Sorry, in this house we love Auntie Dot. Her firefight voicelines are also quaint and full of charm and I implore anyone reading this to give those a listen if they haven't.

🚢 - favourite UNSC ship?

Oof, this is a hard one. I'll be answering these by subclasses since that's the only way I can start singling out stuff - if you told me to pick an Ultimate Favorite Ship, we'd be here forever. Let's start with the dropships, for example. I *adore* the Albatross' design, and- oh, wait, this is about *singular* ships, isn't it. Oh, well, I won't be erasing my previous words. I am partial to the Spirit Of Fire due to it being a retrofitted colony ship. Reminds me of the Titans in Titanfall, who were used to help with terraforming planets and gathering vast amounts of crops and such before they were turned into war machines.

🥊 - who are you beating the shit out of?

Huh. Another difficult one, but in a different way. If you asked me at the very beginning of my Halo journey, my answer would've been Dr. Halsey. I've seen the light since, though. Halo is a bit of a strange case for me because if we ignore the obvious answer of Captain Ingridson and non-answers like everyone who has ever worked at ONI, there aren't many people that I can name from the top of my head I'd want to throw hands with. Maybe it's time for a re-read of some books or Halopedia pages. With that said, the final answer is Jun. And that one guy from the latest Flood short story who didn't listen to his ship AI. He's pissed me off so bad I don't even remember his name, but fuck 'im in particular.

🎉 - share your favourite character headcanon

Here's a very mundane one, and a personal favorite - Noble Six is very fond of cats.

⭐ - share your favourite piece of halo lore

I'm grateful I got this question twice because I get to discuss various things. At the risk of it being too broad of an answer, I will say that one of my favorite aspects of Halo lore is the politics of future humanity. I haven't seen a lot of people talk about the Koslovics and Friedens and the Interplanetary War in general - though, granted, before the Mythos came out in 2016, they were only mentioned on Bungie's site and the Halo timeline on Xbox.com. I'm glad Mythos gave us some names to work with, but I can't help but yearn for more pre-Human-Covenant War political lore outside of the "Innies vs the UNSC" struggle. Do not get me started on the Colonial Military Authority and how the UNSC absorbed and dismantled them and the differences in the ways the two organizations operate.

🎧 - song you associate a halo character with

My custom tag for Noble Six is "Unknown Soldier". Yes, like the Breaking Benjamin song. Six and that song go hand in hand for me.

[wisteria-blooms]

Hii!! I recently left you a comment on AO3, but I figured I'd move over here to contact you again. I just wanted to tell you that I haven't stopped thinking about your Bill fic basically all day 😅 I've really come to appreciate it more and more as I've been mulling it over. It really feels like you had all your bases covered and everything came together in a satisfying way.

I just wanted to ask you about your process for writing it. Did you map out the plot before you started writing, or did you go chapter by chapter? Also I'm just generally interested in how you came up with some of the details if you're happy to share here or dms i dont mind? (I'm SO sorry I'm fangirling a bit here 😅 It's just your perspective on old tropes is so refreshing i feel like this is what it was like in the old days of the fandom 🤩🤩🤩)

Cue that TikTok sound: "Oh my goodness, I love this question."

Okay, so I'm happy to discuss any detail so feel free to interrogate but some of them I came up on the fly and won't be able to remember why. The idea/trope was inspired by the song 18 - Anarbor. I really took these lyrics to heart lol:

So if you wanna piss off your parents Date me to scare them Show them you're all grown up If long hair and tattoos are what attract you Baby then you're in luck

At the time, I only wrote for Fred or George, but it just wouldn't make sense y'know. Bill was older, cooler, and would be so much worse (in a good way) for the plot. I'd never written a Malfoy reader before, but the Malfoys were exceptional placeholders for the snobby, uppity family. And canonically, there's bad blood between the two families, so it was perfect.

So, going in, I only anticipated this to be a 10k one shot. That's why the first two/three chapters are so short. And then the last chapter is 8k words lol. I was trying to steer away from super long and flowery paragraphs and go for sweet and succinct but it didn't work haha.

When I started, I'd only written chapter 1, 2, and tidbits of that your-room-is-flooded scene in Nice. I knew that family dynamic was always going to be a thing, so it would have to be resolved eventually. I wanted Lucius to be the hard-hitter and cause the drama, whereas Narcissa was softer, eventually accepting the situation ("BY THE WAY, ARE YOU ON BIRTH CONTROL?"). As for Draco, I know all siblings have their rough patches, so I wanted to show that he's always had a soft spot for Y/N.

I remember just writing Chapter 4 and 5 on the fly. Like, Chapter 5 (the dinner scene) was my favourite to write/re-read. I still can't believe I wrote it because I'm not great with action, dialogue, and humour. And knowing Lucius wouldn't go down without a fight, I must've... created the move-in with Fred and George, and have Bill pull away at the same time. I think this falls in love with a typical plot, like conflict #1, resolution, conflict #2, etc... (throwback to middle school English class).

The Madame Millicent book really served no purpose initially. Then, I was like, let's have Bill find it to show that Y/N can be pervy too LMAO.

Y/N's extended family was also created near the end. I think thinking of characters as caricatures really helped me. Uncle Theo was Lucius on steroids, Genevieve and Claude as Y/N and Draco on steroids, Charlotte and Clara as wispy blonde maniac pixie dream girls, etc. It also helped show that Y/N and Draco really loved and supported each other when contrasted with other family members who actually didn't care much for them.

I'm the worst with finishing a series, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to give this a proper ending, but people leaving sweet comments, reblogging, asking to be added to the tag list really gave me that push to write a conclusion.

But yeah, if there's anything you'd like to know, please ask!! I'm so happy you enjoyed it so much and because of people like you, I end up wanting to write more hahahaha. 💓

[tacetnix]

[SONG_MEME]::Tagged()

Task: "Share at least five songs that remind you of your muse." Requester: @hexenjagd // thank you my friend! I'm gonna be slowly getting through the backlog of kindness ;v;

01. Liars - VOX TUNED D.E.D. ---- Heavy. Industrial. Oppressive. Unrelenting.

"I...... can't get be-tter I....... want the best, though If I'm... running out, of lifetime You should just say, so"

02. Unlike Pluto - HOLLOW ---- For all of the things that Mary feels about herself, comprehending the worth she has in the eyes of others is a tragic null. She cannot comprehend that others desire her presence, for that's what she was taught. Only time can help those scars heal, but on some level, it will always be a surprise to her.

"Disappointment echos in my brain Anyone would really go insane Empty hands promised me everything But gave me nothing in the end"

03. 65daysofstatic - UNDER THE SUMMS ---- A very simple intro, almost boring for the first minute. Instrumental throughout. Not a single word. Melancholic but ramping up in intensity. Eventually, guitars kick in, and there's this underlying sense of urgency, panic, but it's firmly calm and collected. Controlled. Contained. I keep coming back to this one.

04. grandson - WELCOME TO PARADISE ---- No matter how terrible reality is, no matter how easily her own human life can be severed... she will attempt to aid those who show her that they are deserving of care. She will wrap herself in steel and magic and try to face the world... but for now, she offers you a shelter. It's an illusion, and it is a stopgap and she knows this... But it can make it just that little bit more bearable, no?

"Conversation with my echo Take a hit and then I let go Everything will be okay"

05. ANTAGONIZER - STATIC ---- Unrelenting once again. Move with instinct, let the thoughts flow, let them guide you. Paranoia, Overthinking, Anxiety. They flourish, they overwhelm. Like how surging rapids and floods threaten to flush all before them away... guide them. Direct them. Build the dam and build the byways and build the channels that let the thoughts flow as you will them.

"The softest damage Etched in your soul The quiet terror of losing all your control I’m chasing rabbits, Into black holes I am unraveling into the unknown"

// And that's my five for the time being!! Thanks again to Cat for tagging me in this and I'm going to put out a 'please steal this from me and @ me when you do it, because I love seeing how you guys think about your characters too!'

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

Well I finished Pit Babe.

May I start by saying that I don't believe that the name "Pit Babe" can possibly sound as charming to a Thai-speaking ear as it sounds to my English-speaking one. I really adore that he was called that throughout the series.

As for Pit Babe the character... I love him.

I liked him in episode 1 when he was standoffish, bossy, and confident. I got the impression that he was keeping people at arms length because he was afraid to let them get close to him.

Turns out I was right, but little did I know that he had good cause and for this story good intuition, because wow, did he get betrayed by nearly every important person in his life.

Like, I enjoy putting a character through some trials and watching them rise to meet them. It's satisfying to see them grow and triumph, but poor Pit Babe had it so rough. Near the end he says something along the lines of "I don't know how to trust anyone." No shit. And of course you don't!

And Pavel, the actor freaking brought it all. From the weeping, to the fighting, to the intimate scenes. Keep giving the man more lead roles.

Outside of the protagonist, the story was a bit unhinged which is something I like so much, it's practically a requirement for me. I knew the show was about racing but I did not expect it to be about human trafficking. There were so many betrayals that I started to feel paranoid by the end.

Was this show over-the-top?

Yeah, but I'm into that.

Thank you to the people of Tumblr for consistently flooding my feed with shows, books, fan fics, and whatever that are just a bit 🍌 🍌🍌.

Next up: something called KinnPorsche, which I actually can't tell what it's about. I simply know that each time I see a post of something that seems a little 🦇 💩 it's often tagged with KinnPorsche.

Friends.

You would not stop flooding my feed with Pit Babe. It looks delightfully weird.

I can't wait to see what all the hype is about.

I'll let you know if I have any notes.

[lovecanbesostrange]

Welcome to another installment of random RRCAU fic, from the big, big universe that lives on the Ruby Lucas Harem Discord, because konako got that one random ask that time. (ask us about the insane College AU now, I dare you, we have answers you don’t even want)

So, if you follow that, have another scene. But this one is, heavy, because it’s all about the big dramatic death around the end of the second year. konako made me cry with the short snippet, so I will now repay that favor with the aftermath in a bit of a long form.

(this is towards the end of Ruby’s sophomore year at college, Granny has just died)

Ruby felt numb. If she could even call it feeling. But it’s either this or crying. And this is more helpful to get through tasks on auto-pilot. Sometimes there was the anger, now like an old friend. But it’s snapping at her friends, pounding the sandbag at the gym, running like mad on the field (Coach is a human after all, didn’t even make her do laps after clearly running the wrong plays). The last few days were a hazy blur. Food, hugging, a bit of sport, people, asking for an assignment extension.

And the phone call with Anita.

She was numb during that, too. And it was for the best. They both knew Granny wanted to be cremated. Just like her husband. But Ruby knew that she also wanted her ashes to be scattered like his. And Anita had said no. She had made arrangements for the urn to be buried. A small service and a burial. Ruby had said she’d be there.

“Whatever.”

A response Ruby knew well.

Regina and Mary Margaret had brought her to the airport. She was using up Regina’s miles again. But she didn’t argue. When she landed she thought she’d get herself to the trailer park somehow, maybe a car rental. Ruby hadn’t thought about that. There was something though. And yes, there was, Mary Margaret had told her - Eva was already waiting at the exit.

Another hug. Long. Warm. Welcoming. It brought Ruby out of the haze a bit, so new tears fell. Tears for Granny. Dead. The last bit of happy memories tied to that place her mind kept insisting on calling home.

“... you can sleep in Mary’s room and I’ll take you to the airport day after tomorrow of course.” Eva already had it planned out, telling her in the car. “Ruby? Is that all okay with you?” Ruby tore off her gaze from the scenery outside, pulling her head away from the glass of the passenger’s window.

“Can we go to the Terrace?” Suddenly the name sounded hollow. “I’d like to get a couple of things.” Maybe she would be too late. Maybe Anita had thrown everything out already.

“Right away?”

“If you don’t mind, please.”

“Of course not, honey.” Eva held the steering wheel with her left hand and put her right on Ruby’s knee, squeezing. Comfort. Reassurance. “Tell me what I can do and consider it done.”

The hint of a smile pulled on the corners of Ruby’s mouth. This was Eva. This had always been Eva, even when she didn’t understand it. She got things done for her.

Pulling up at the trailer park felt strange. For one it was because Ruby was sitting in a nice car. Not rushing through the side entrance on her bike. It was also because Ruby could count the times she’d been here in the almost past two years and every time she got away from it, the place seemed smaller and further away. But mostly, without Granny this was just a glorified parking lot with a bit of green.

Eva parked and waited. Ruby unfastened her seat-belt, but she couldn’t get out. She looked over. Ruby didn’t know if she wanted to go in alone. If she could. Was it better to have Eva there as back-up? Or was that disrespectful?

“I… would you… can you maybe come with me? I don’t know if…” She didn’t know if she could even step a foot inside or would crumble at the front door the way she had days ago in front of her dorm.

“I’m right behind you.” Eva smiled. The warm mom-smile.

Ruby didn’t know if Anita would be here now. She didn’t bother knocking though and didn’t need a key. Nobody needed a key to get in, when you knew the lock wasn’t working properly and all you needed to do was lift the front door at the right angle and push hard.

Ruby opened her mouth, but closed it immediately to not say hallo into the void. Everything looked mostly as expected. There were a few empty alcohol bottles stacked next to the kitchen sink, Anita had been digging in. But she still got herself together to not let them lie around. Maybe that was good. Maybe that was something to care about.

Suddenly her home - the trailer - looked depressing. More than usual. Granny wasn’t sitting outside or lying in bed. The tiny tv was not running. That specific background noise missing was a big deal. Sure, Granny had been in and out of the hospital, but the finality was felt.

Ruby breathed in, the hitch alerted Eva and she touched her on her back, steadied her. The smell. Oh the smell was home. The mix of the cheap laundry detergent, the sharp air freshener, the lingering scent of Granny mixed with Anita’s aggressive perfume. It smelt a bit different than she remembered, but that was probably herself missing from this equation for a long time now.

Slowly Ruby stepped towards the bedroom. The smell of Granny got stronger. Without thinking about it she sat down on the bed. The linens crisp and clean, waiting for someone to sleep here again. There were pills on the nightstand. The little tub with daily doses already in order. Ruby picked it up. Monday and Tuesday were empty, she looked at Wednesday and the morning was missing. Right, after that Granny had called an ambulance. Thursday’s pills were untouched. Thursday had been the last time she had seen her. Ever.

Anita hadn’t touched anything in here as far as Ruby could tell. It was a surprise. Maybe she didn’t know what to do with all the stuff. And maybe, just maybe, there was more emotional baggage inside of her and she couldn’t let go of her mother. She had never left either. She could have. She could have let Granny rot alone in here and not just disappear a few days at a time, but forever. And yet Anita had always come back. Despite everything.

Ruby put the pill box back down and grabbed the framed photo. It was Granny’s wedding picture. She had never stopped loving that man that barely had time to get to know his own daughter and who never knew that his memory lived in a granddaughter he never met at all. They were a handsome couple. This was one of three pictures she knew she wanted above all else.

Her hand was already under the bed, searching the shoe box stashed there. Yes. She opened it and was greeted with all the letters she had sent home the last two years. It felt like so little, but she knew it had meant much. Granny had taken the photos from some of these out and put them on the wall next to the tv. But the pictures Ruby was searching were underneath it all.

An old black and white photograph. More brownish actually, genuine sepia, grainy, worn on the edges. It was Granny as a child with her three older brothers. It was the only thing Ruby knew of, that even proved they once had been alive. Before that fateful accident. Three brothers and their father, all gone in one go.

This family was cursed. Mothers and daughters left. And Granny’s mother hadn’t made it much longer on her own. Maybe Granny and Ruby got along, because they skipped a generation between. Mothers and daughters gave each other plenty of resentment.

And then there was the third picture. Granny with her dear husband and a fancy new car. The red Camaro had been out of their price range, but on their anniversary they had gone to the dealership, got a long test drive out of it and made that a date. Granny had talked about that day a lot. Grandfather promised them a brighter future where they would be able to afford a car like that. Not just stealing fake moments, but creating happy ones for real.

That had never happened.

Granny had deserved more and yet life had rejected her. But she had held on. Despite her heart condition, the many losses of family members around her, the slipping into poverty. Granny had always held on. For over 80 years. Nobody had thought that would even be possible. So maybe it was okay to say goodbye now. Now that Ruby understood how Granny could look at a picture of her dead husband for hours and feel nothing but love.

Ruby put the frame into the shoe box, then her gaze fell onto the chair. Granny’s knitted cardigan hung over the back. She’d always worn that grey monstrosity, though it was unflattering even on her. Ruby got to her feet and picked it up. She buried her face in the fabric. Granny. Yes, she wanted this. The pictures, her own letters, the cardigan. It meant something.

Tears began to fall again. Ruby wasn’t numb at all. Breathing in all the memories came rushing back. Sitting on Granny’s lap during Christmas story time; teaching her the sacred lasagna recipe; listening to unimportant happenings at school; the encouraging words when Anita’s indifference turned into vile insults; daydreaming of long trips with fingers on the maps of an old atlas; sitting in front of Granny’s bed, eating something from the microwave and letting Granny catch her up on her soaps. There had been love.

Eva had been silent all this time and given Ruby space. Now she stepped closer and wrapped her up in her arms. Ruby hugged the cardigan and felt Eva kissing her on the head. This was goodbye. But she wouldn’t be alone.

The service was lovely, but what really got to Ruby was seeing people attending. She had thought she’d be there alone with Anita, maybe Eva in the back. But there were a few neighbors. Mrs. Johnson even gave her a quick hug, she had come by like once a month to do Granny’s hair for free, but really it was about the conversation. Nurse Wilcox had retired herself three years ago, but before she had worked at the doctor’s office Granny got her subscriptions from. She had seen the tiny ad in the paper and wanted to pay her respects, remembering one of her favourite patients.

A part of Ruby wanted to scream, because she knew burying the urn in the dirt was wrong. Even though Anita had picked a nice little headstone. Ruby knew this was money she couldn’t really afford to spend. But causing a scene in the cemetery was the last thing she would do. She’d rather run away and not attend at all, while more than a dozen people paid their respects.

There wasn’t much said between Ruby and Anita. Who cared about one more argument and hollow questions about their current living situations? Ruby would remember the way Eva kept holding her hand, let her ramble through incoherent memories and tugged her into Mary’s bed. (Something Ruby rejected by getting up at night to sleep in the treehouse, the cardigan close to her chest.)

And when summer came around, Ruby would clean a whole week out of her schedule. No summer class, no work, not anybody around. Maybe it was irresponsible to blow through a portion of her savings, but she found a car rental that could get her that red 1975 Chevrolet Camaro. And maybe it was called grave robbing, but she dug up Granny’s urn and put her on the passenger’s seat. A week on the road right up to the beach where Granny had scattered her husband’s ashes.

That would be Ruby’s last goodbye. When she finally could let go of the woman, who had mostly raised her. The road trip they had talked about in giggling voices.

Turning into the parking lot was hard. And just when Ruby doubted she could scatter these ashes alone, she spotted Regina waiting for her. She had send so many texts to her friends and called to let them know she was okay, that Regina knew when she would arrive at her destination. Regina, who had been there when Ruby had last spoken to Granny. Fitting. Granny’s final blessing.

[twiceasfrustrating]

To Have and Hold 11

Chapter: 1/2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Major Character Death

Category: GN/M

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!

Relationships: Diavolo/GN!MC

Characters: Diavolo, Barbatos, Main Character, Lucifer

Tags for these chapters: Not Beta Read, Yandere, Kidnapping, No Happy Ending, Restraint, Imprisonment

Summary: Love drives some people crazy and some can't stand to go without. You thought you'd found the perfect boyfriend in Diavolo, one who loved you more than anything else in the world. And, well, you weren't exactly wrong, but it turns out that he's one of the ones that can't go without…

A/N: Fucking hell! I had to do so many edits because I rearranged some chapters and switched where two major events happened.

Word Count: 1901

“My Love?” Diavolo called softly through the haze of your mind as if standing somewhere so much further away. Unfortunately for you, he was unbearably close; holding onto you as if you were precious.

You turned your head to him without actually focusing your gaze. At this point, through the sickness and jumbled thoughts in your mind, you couldn't be bothered to scream, cry, or fake a smile. Everything just felt so heavy. You weren’t sure you could even lift a teacup like you had yesterday during that forced ‘date’.

“Hm?” You hummed weakly, wondering where all the grit and tenacity inside of you had gone recently. Sure you were sick, but it was as if all the energy you had faded all at once and was nowhere near returning.

"My Love, you need to get ready. We have a surprise guest."

A… guest? As in someone besides him and Barbatos? And he was going to let you out of the room to see them? Did you, through your addled mind, dare to have hope?

"This will be uncomfortable, but bare with me."

He undid the bindings that always kept you attached to the bed only to tie your arms and legs together so you couldn't move any of your limbs. He picked you up bridal style.

"Close your eyes," he whispered with a smile across his face, as if he was excitedly waiting to show you something for your birthday.

When you didn't do it immediately, he frowned. "Would it be easier to blind you?"

That barely veiled threat was enough for you to close your eyes as he ordered.

"Good. Oh! No peeking or I really will have to blind you to eliminate that temptation," he said far too cheerfully. 

You could feel the jolt from his sudden movement as he began walking. The sound of the door opening felt so foreign, as well as all the twists and turns he made. In the back of your mind, you tried to remember how many times he turned left and right, making a map of where you were in the palace behind your eyelids. Every set of stairs and even the changing sound of his footsteps was a clue you added to your inner map key. It was crude at best, but it was something. It was a possibility.

He finally stopped.

"You can open your eyes if you want."

As you did, light flooded your vision. When your vision adjusted though, you recognized the drawing room. You also recognized the chair he was standing in front of, although the seat was raised to reveal a small space inside.

"It's important we both greet our guest, although you may be uncomfortable. Forgive me for that." He kissed your temple.

“Just stay here like a good little human and try not to make too much noise.” Diavolo’s voice sounded so sweet as he spoke, but there was a clear threat behind his words. Or, perhaps everything he said sounded like a threat now.

You whimpered as he closed the lid over you, surrounding you in darkness in a very uncomfortable position. You were slumped over to fit into the small space, your head drooping down against your knees so all you could do was stare at the wood beneath you. You weren’t even able to adjust into a more comfortable position, since the bindings that dug into your skin wrapped their way around your calves, up your thighs, to your torso, and kept your arms in place. You hadn’t even been here for a full minute and you were already in pain. At least you could lie down comfortably in the stupid room.

In this place, all you could do was wait in the pitch-black darkness for something to happen. In some futile attempt to relieve your boredom, you actually started to count your fingers over and over again. It was something at the very least, even though you lost track at some point in the thousands and had to start over. Even mistakes were more interesting than nothingness. 

“-very concerning.” You finally heard a faint voice through the walls around you. It’s very familiar, but you know that it isn’t Diavolo’s.

“I see. That is troubling.” That was Diavolo.

“Are you sure they haven’t reached out to you?” That voice really was familiar, but it was hard to make out properly through the walls around you, “Even an attempt would be sufficient.”

“They haven’t contacted me since our last conversation, and that was nearly a month ago.” Something shifted over you, like a great weight was just placed on top of you, “Please, take a seat.”

“I apologize, Lord Diavolo, but I only stopped by to see if you’d heard from them. I do not have time for tea today.” Lucifer! That’s who the voice belonged to.

"Don't be in such a rush. Barbatos, prepare something for Lucifer's nerves. He needs to relax."

Barbatos said something that sounded like agreement, but you couldn't quite make out the exact words.

"I apologize. We've all been concerned lately and I'm letting it show more than I should."

“No one is blaming you for being worried about them, I doubt you have anything to be worried about. If they wanted or needed your help, I’m sure they’d summon you.” There was a loud thump against the outer walls of the box you were inside of, and you could only assume Diavolo kicked it.

“We think they did. Or rather, we believe Belphie,” hearing that name made you feel like you were going to puke, “was summoned but we haven’t heard from him either...”

“Oh? Why do you think he was summoned?”

“He vanished suddenly without a word. Such an abrupt departure most likely means he was called on.”

"Belphegor is a strong demon. If he gets into any danger, I'm sure he can handle himself."

Liar!

You wanted to scream, to shout, to curse him out, but stayed silent because of Lucifer.

Salvation was right there. You knew Lucifer would help you if you asked him to, but you also knew that Diavolo wouldn't allow it. Images of Belphie's lifeless body flashed in your mind, his blood soaking into the floor and the crushing of his vertebrae abruptly cracking echoing in your ears. 

You couldn't risk that happening to Lucifer too. You'd already taken the youngest sibling from his family; you couldn't take the oldest one too.

"We're going to look for them – thank you, Barbatos," Lucifer suddenly said. "I understand if you can't join us, but-"

"What kind of partner would I be if I didn't look for them?" The seat above you creaked as he shifted his weight. "Barbatos can handle everything while I'm gone. Right?"

"Please finish your paperwork before you go."

Diavolo whined. "Isn't this more important though?"

"Are you planning to leave immediately, Lucifer?" Barbatos asked.

"We're preparing today and tomorrow then leaving the next day."

"Then there is time to do what you need."

Diavolo whined louder. "I suppose. Although I should prepare too…"

"I would advise seeing Lucifer out then."

"Of course. Thank you for your time."

The weight on top of you shifted again, but this time it was in a way that relieved the pressure above you.

"I wish we were meeting under better circumstances like old times. Still, I'm glad you are all looking for them since I'm so preoccupi-" Diavolo's voice faded into the distance and you were alone again.

Your heart hammered in your throat, your limbs were numb and tired, your skin felt like it was burning up. Everything inside of you felt wrong. Screaming at you to say something before they left, but your logic kept your mouth shut.

There were a few more uncomfortable minutes of silence before blinding light poured into your little box. You closed your eyes out of reflex immediately, finding it painful to look out into the world.

“So you are still there,” Diavolo’s voice was soft as he reached out to see if you were real and not just a hallucination, “You were so quiet that I thought you had gotten out somehow. I’m happy that you were just following orders.”

You could feel his hand on you and normally you would feel utter disgust, but, at the moment, the only emotion inside of you was distraught. You broke down the moment he brushed his warm fingers against your cheek and sobbed uncontrollably. Not just in sadness, but in rage. There were no tears as you cried -- you had no more to give -- but if you could you knew they would be life fire.

“Why?” You finally managed to hiccup out through your continued and persistent sobs, “Why are you doing this to me?” 

Lucifer was worried about you. They were all worried about you! And they hadn't given up yet. It was a cruel joke to give you that tiny ray of hope that you knew would never shine upon you.

“I’m not doing anything, my love. Everything happening is the result of your own actions.” You were the one that made him fall for you, you were the one that kept fighting back, and you were the one who refused to reach out for help when it was right in front of you. If only you could learn to behave yourself, he would be allowed to be kinder to you. 

"You lied to him." You screamed, finding anything to break down that smug attitude of his. "You know where I am and you know about… about…." You quietly muttered Belphie's name, not feeling you had the right to even say it.

"I never lied. I only said you hadn't contacted me. That is true since I'm the one coming to you. And Belphegor could handle any danger he found himself in if you hadn't gotten him killed."

It was like twisting the knife already buried to the hilt in your heart.

"Do you have any other concerns?"

You couldn't say anything. There was no response you could give to his insane logic and half truths. 

Seeing you fall so readily into compliance, he nuzzled against your neck.

"My lord," Barbatos suddenly said, making you aware of his presence, "the carrot."

"Oh, yes."

He cleared his throat. “You were so good while Lucifer was here. You deserve a reward.” His claws brushed carefully over your delicate skin until they reached the rope and sliced through like it was sewing thread. Your body fell loose the moment it was freed, even though you still couldn’t move any of it because of how numb they were, “What would you like?”

Your eyes had finally adjusted to the brightness of the room, so you opened two bloodshot orbs in Diavolo’s direction, feeling completely hollow inside at the sight of him beaming at you. If you didn’t know better, you would almost think him benevolent. It was too bad you did know better. 

“Die.” It was the only request you could think of; every hateful thought and plea for freedom you had boiling to the surface in one succinct word.

"My love," he brushed a thumb over your bottom lip before forcing a soft kiss on you, "how could I do that and risk leaving you all alone?" No. He would ensure that both of you lived long enough to enjoy your new, happy life together.

[4joonkookie]

Mirror, Mirror.

➹ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

➹ Words: 3K

➹ Summary:

(smutty) You tell Jungkook that you don’t want to talk. He makes sure to keep you quiet. OR

(Angsty) Your established, long-distance relationship with Jungkook has reached an impasse. OR

(Angsty & Smutty) Jungkook makes you take a long, hard look at yourself.

➹ Tags/Warnings:

SMUT, Established Relationship, Long Distance Relationship, Public Sex, Car Sex, Clothed Sex, Rushed Sex, Mirror Sex, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Dubious Consent, Blowjob, Cunnilingus, Oral Sex, (Jungkook literally pulls up a chair to eat you out), Fingering, Rough Sex, Mouth Covering, Shoving, Angry Sex, Drinking, Embarrassment, Spanking, ANGST, Failure to Communicate, Commitment Issues, Avoidant Behavior, Female Character with Fuckboi!Tendancies, Petty!Jungkook, Unresolved Ending, Ending up to Reader Interpretation, Easter Eggs?

**

You’re late on purpose.

You told Jungkook you couldn’t make it until just about when the cars would be leaving to take the boys and their group to the event.

He greets you with a kiss at the door when you rush in, dressed and ready to the hotel room everyone gathers in. You eagerly greet and catch up with the others. Jungkook knowingly raises his eyebrow at you.

He doesn’t deserve this and you’re not proud of it but you aren’t ready to talk about it. Everything was left in the air last you saw each other and there’s a lot to discuss. You managed to get away from work for just 1 night, so, you plan on avoiding it until your next visit, maybe another 2 weeks.

That would give you enough time to think about it, about what you would say. It might give you time to come up with a good reason why he’s completely wrong about this.

So, you settle for getting ready for a formal event in the airport bathroom. That’s how badly you don’t want to talk about it.

A voice announces that the cars are here and people fuss at themselves in the full length mirror before corralling out the door. Soon, it’s just you left, touching up your red lipstick. You almost never wear it but hope It hides your total cowardice.

Jungkook approaches you from behind in the mirror.

Can we talk about it?”, he asks your reflection.

“I’m not sure now is a good time”, you say as casually as possible.

“Well, will there be a good time before you leave tomorrow morning? We never finished talking...”

“We weren’t talking, we were arguing.”, you interrupt and pull his arms around you from behind, hands laced at your waist. “Look, we have one night. And I have to leave for the airport by 7:30 tomorrow.”

He pauses before he speaks. “No you don’t.”, he says plainly. Silence hangs heavy in the air.

You take a breath. “But I will.” You shrug and sigh, still in his arms.

“So, the answer to my question is ‘no’, you plan on avoiding the topic until….”

“...until I come back.”, you finish, trying to sound optimistic.

He pulls his hands from around you and steps away from you.. “In 2 weeks.”, he scoffs. “So, what, you’re here to get fucked and leave?”

You turn to face him and tell the truth. “I miss you, baby.” You plant a soft, closed kiss on his lips. “I'm here to see you.”, you inspect his mouth for any trace of lipstick. “Besides….would it be the worst thing if I came for one night just to get fucked?”, you tease, turning to the mirror again.

He snickers, “...no”. He kisses your neck and shifts his crotch against your ass. “I just worry you think this problem won’t be here when you get back.”

“Please, Jungkook, I just want to be with you, I don’t want to fight. There’s no chance we could solve this in a night anyway.”

Jimin renters the room to gather you. “We need to go_”, he stops when he sees Jungkook’s worried reflection. “Everything ok?”

Jungkook abruptly drops his arms from you. “We’re having an argument,'' he announces. “but we’re not talking about it.” He moves to hold the door open and gestures for you and Jimin to exit before him.

Ugh. Brat.

The back of the private car is your proverbial doghouse as you both sip your cocktails in silence, Jungkook obviously agitated. You sit next to each other, such a big space for just 2 people. A small gap between you feels wider than ever.

“I’m sorry. I’m just not ready”, you finally say, lamely.

“It’s fine,'' he replies quickly. “You don’t want to talk, we won’t.” He finishes one drink and pours another.

You stay quiet, still without the right words. He looks at you and thinks for a long time. You almost ask if he’s ok when he finally speaks.

“You look really good.”, he abruptly spits out and laughs as if he’s missed something that had been in front of him the whole time. “I’m sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I wanted to tell you in the mirror.“

You’re relieved with his light-heartedness and grateful for the effects of alcohol as you close the gap between you, placing your hand on his closest thigh.

The cabin is dimly lit with a bluish light. Jungkook brings his face so close to yours, tingles go down your spine. He smells like a mixture of cologne and liquor.

“I like your pretty red lips.”, he hums, voice deep and low. His eyes, dark in the dim light. “And if you’re not going to use them to talk...”, tracing his thumb over your bottom lip and leaning in to whisper, “...I want them wrapped around my cock.” He moves his hand back and tugs at your hair.

You waste no time. The area of the car is spacious enough that you can get to your knees below him. You work together to pull his trousers down far enough to expose his pretty leaking cock.

You start a long lick with a flat tongue at the base of his shaft and up to the tip. You hollow your cheeks and fully engulf him on the way back down, knowing it’s just a matter of time before you arrive.

He guides your head as you diligently slide up and down, slurping and occasionally stopping to hold the tip at the back of your throat. Soon, his hips lift on every trip down, squirming and unable to hold back the prettiest whines.

“Look at me”, Jungkook urges. You turn your head to the side to look up and run your tongue up a vein on the side of his shaft.

“So good, noona.”, he says with his eyes rolling backward with a smirk. He pushes your head down harder, driving you to increase the pace.

He fills your mouth with a groan. You swallow, eager to take whatever he gives you.

The car comes to a stop and you pull yourself together enough to get to the bathroom inside to check your lipstick.

***

Wherever you are, it’s huge. A massive hall with doors that seemed to go on forever. The party and guests, relegated to one (very big) room.

As the guests and your group get toasted and social, it becomes easier to step away from your unresolved issues than you thought. Jungkook and the boys are laughing and enjoying themselves. Everyone’s guard is down, including you.

That’s why you love these types of events. The ones with no cameras or staff, where boys can bring dates or just be themselves. There’s so many of these things you CAN'T go to; another point of contention between you and Jungkook.

Here, when everyone can just be together without a camera, it seems easy. The last moments of your previous visit begin to replay in your mind, as you watch Jungkook charm the room.

“What are you so afraid of?”, his voice echoes in your mind. Suddenly, the mellow tone of the room fades and it feels stifling and small, heat flooding to your chest.

You make your way to the entry doors. Maybe to get some air, or make an escape, you’re not sure. You calmly peek outside the big room to the empty big hall with endless doors. Before the door can close behind you, Jungkook peeks out, whispering and smiling. “Where are you going?”, worries obviously set aside. His face is comforting and makes it feel like you can breathe again.

“Exploring.”, you whisper back with a wink and extend your hand. He offers a cheeky smile and accepts.

You tipsily giggle down the hall into an empty room. It’s identical to the room the party is in, only this one is empty and one wall is made of full mirrors, like some kind of performance and rehearsal room.

You kiss and stumble into a corner. He takes both of your drink glasses and places them on the floor. He grabs your body so you face away and you’re looking at your reflections again.

“We were like this.” his lips are on your neck again and a hand sneaks up the slit in your dress and inside your thigh. “...when I saw how you looked in the mirror at the hotel.” He lets out a gratified sigh and slips his fingers effortlessly into you.

“Jungkook!”, you scold, doing your best not to sink into his sensation but it’s too late now. Your body is a step ahead of your mind and you’re moving your hips in time with his fingers. You place both hands on the mirror in front of you to brace yourself.

“What?”, he says innocently, still speaking to the mirror. You came here to get fucked and leave right? ”, pushing fingers in and out of your entrance. “Anyway”, he continues, “You know better. You should’ve showed up earlier so I could fuck you before we had to leave. You knew we’d end up like this.”

His skilled fingers stir inside you so delightfully that you close your eyes. He puts a squeezing hand on your shoulder to alert you.

“Keep your eyes on the mirror, baby. I want you to see what I see.” You make an effort to keep your eyes on the mirror but shriek when he lays a hard spank on you, cold rings intensifying the sting. He quickly removes his fingers to unbutton himself, lowering his pants again.

“Jungkook...”, you start, fussing to pull your dress down and yammering in panic about how you ‘can’t do this here’ and ‘what happens if we get caught?’.

He grins arrogantly and uses a hand to cover your mouth and pushes at the small of your back with the other so you're bent in front of him again, your hands propped against the glass. Your heart races when he lines his tip to your core.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He thrusts himself into without warning. You let out a shocked moan. “Maybe we can talk about it when you come back in 2 weeks”, he taunts as he sets his rhythm.

Petty brat.

All thoughts wash away as you watch him take you in the mirror with punishing thrusts, so heavy, your eyes are closing again as you feel the brunt. He digs his nails into your shoulder.

“Eyes Open.”, he reminds, never breaking stride. Your bodies echo lewdly in the empty room. “You flew a long way for this, I want you to see everything.” His hand is pressed tight to your mouth and using his free hand on your shoulder to steady you, exhibiting you in the mirror.

Your eyes are open but they’re watching Jungkook. Sweat runs down his neck. You’re terrified to be caught but relish watching him take your body for himself, happy to shut up and watch.

“I could fuck you like this everyday if you wanted, noona.”, he menaces. You whimper behind his gripped hand. “Wouldn’t you like it if I could spoil this pussy everyday?”.

You can only nod in the mirror.

“I wish I could do it every day, baby.” Hand tight on your mouth, he pulls back on your body so his teeth can reach your neck. Arms off the mirror, Jungkook marks you.

When he releases your neck, he directs: “Touch yourself, baby. I want you to watch yourself come with my hand wrapped around your pretty mouth.”

You collect the abundant slick from around Jungkook’s cock at your opening to run your fingers to your clit. The other hand props yourself up against the mirror, back arched. You fight to stay focused on the mirror, the sensation on your clit making your legs buckle. Your whimpers are stifled behind his palm.

“That’s it, baby, that’s so good. His eyes are glued at your moving fingers, eyes egging you on. The warmth building at your center takes over you when he whispers.

“I'm gonna make you walk back into that room with my cum still dripping out of you.”

You gasp when he releases his grip on your face to replace your hand and continues to circle fingers around your clit while he thrusts deeper into you, and both of your moans resounding off the walls.

He grunts, slows, and lets himself fall out of you . Cum, already dripping down your thighs.

“I’ll see you in there.” He quickly buttons himself and leaves, his footsteps echoing through the empty room until the door closes.

His intentional coldness hurts but you can’t help

but feel that you deserve it. You clean up as best you can before rejoining the group.

***

You casually approach the group in the full room hoping you appear somewhat put together.

They stand in a circle and Hoseok looks at you from across. One arm around his date, he dabs a finger from the other hand underneath his bottom lip. “You’ve got a little…”

“...lipstick.”,Jimin pipes in from beside you and uses his own thumb to wipe the smeared lipstick.

“And a little…” Yoongi starts and dabs a finger in the same motion as Hoseok, only on the side of his neck.

Jimin pulls long strands of hair over your shoulder to cover the fresh bruise Jungkook marked into your neck.

Taehyung turns to Jungkook who has a shit-eating grin on his face. A few in the crew exchange glances and soon a knowing giggle ripples through the group. Blood hits your cheeks.

“What did I miss?” Seokjin says, looking at Jimin.

“They were fighting but now they’ve made up. Now You’re all caught up.”, Jimin chides.

“We didn’t make up.”, Jungkook corrects, his cheery disposition quickly fading. “She said she’s here for a night to get laid. I’m just making sure she gets what she came for.”

He walks away and leaves you to deal with the silence.

Namjoon expertly changes the attention and subject by asking about your job. He must know it’s your preferred way to avoid any real conversation.

The party winds down, the room slowly empties and guests make their way back to their cars.

The car ride home is silent, buzzes fading and exhaustion setting in. You make it back to his room when Jungkook finally speaks.

“You don’t get to be mad at me, you know.”

“Yes, I do.”, you snap back. “I just know I deserve it.”

“No, you don’t.”, he says, a flash of guilt passing over his face. “I just want you to talk to me. And we don't even need to solve any_.”

You’re relieved when he abruptly stops himself and raises 2 surrendering hands in the air. He mimics zipping his lips and winks.

No talking.

He shoves you so you fall back on the bed and pulls up a nearby chair to the edge, looking more determined than ever. He crawls above you and pushes your long dress up over your hips and opts to keep himself quiet instead of you. Diving in right away, he uses 2 fingers to spread your lips apart to give a straight licks before attaching to your exposed clit. He moans while he sucks, sending little vibrations through your center. He laps at you like he can’t get enough.

You start to squirm so he hooks an arm around one of your thighs in the air and the other hand to pin your 2nd thigh flat to the bed.

Hunched over, he continues work on you. You cover your own mouth with your hands while he flicks and sucks furiously on your clit, refusing to let up until your legs shake and he fights your thighs, eager to clamp shut around him.

Your hands drop from your face and shamelessly scream when you come, hands gripping the sheets.

He crawls up to kiss you, tasting him and yourself. He lays his head on your chest and squeezes your body tight. You stroke his head until he falls asleep. You close your eyes too, and when you open them again, the sun shines through the window and it’s time to leave.

You fuss in the bathroom mirror. Sleepy face Jungkook slides behind you and groans, voice still rough with sleep. He buries his face in your neck then lifts to look at your reflections. You both smile at the familiar position. He takes steps to turn on the shower and finds his way to you again.

He begins: “I know we’re not talking about it now….”, you flinch from his touch at the mention. He gets closer to you anyway, happy to press up against your thorny exterior. He continues, “but in 2 weeks, I’m going to ask you again. He presses his forehead against your temple and you listen, watching the mirror.

“Quit your stupid job. Please. Stay with me. And you don’t need to have an answer. But we have to talk about it.”

You nearly made it through this unscathed but two strokes to midnight, you finally snap.

“And talk about what, Jungkook? How you’ll be gone months at a time?, eyes on your own terrored expression in the mirror. “How I should uproot my life so I can live in random hotels basically alo_”. He turns you to face him and places his index finger over your running lips before you can finish.

“It’s 7:30. You need to leave if you’re going to catch your flight.” He moves his finger to kiss your lips.

He enters the shower without a word, confident you’ll be gone when he gets out.

PART 2/4 HERE