#lesbians specifically want to say are welcome but I'm mostly gonna just let you do your thing

[acelessthan3]

Tumblr is like a gay club to me. Sometimes there are women and straight men, but most of the time I'm ignoring them in favor of drinks (funny images), music (news via meme), drag queens (drag queens), and cute boys to potentially make out with (mutuals and thirst follows). Also there is a non-zero chance you will leave with some kind of glitter (crabs).

[matan4il]

Hi hi, worried about Eddie not talking about his sexuality in therapy anon here!!!! Thank you so much for replying, and to your other anons for continuing such a wonderful conversation!!!! You are all so smart and discerning and have all majorly reassured me. I feel much better about the presence or lack of that convo now. But just wanted to mention that I didn't mean Eddie talking about/realizing his feelings for Buck specifically - i just really really want him to acknowledge that there was something Not Straight about the panic attacks in the first place!

Like, when it comes to identity and relationships I feel like 911 can be very official status/label-oriented. (As can all of television to be fair.) Athena's whole relationship deal was about her dealing with losing her husband and gaining an ex-husband, and dealing with that change and creating a new relationship there, and then she went almost straight to gaining a husband again in Bobby. Hen and Karen are definitively lesbians. When buck was sorta dancing around Taylor the whole show and the other characters needled and mocked him about the ambiguity of the relationship. There are probably other examples of this kind of stuff too but that's just off the top of my head.

So you saying that Eddie doesn't need to experience a definitive moment about his sexuality or label anything, I 1000% agree. I don't want him to be forced into a label or anything, I think letting people be ambiguous about labels in fiction is amazing!!! But, I just don't feel like the show will allow him to live in and be at peace with that ambiguity just based on how they've written relationships in the past, you know? That's why I feel this way about what Eddie addresses in therapy. Of course I'm not the meta expert you are and am still a pretty big 911 noob so my assessment can be and probably is totally wrong though!!!

Hi worried about Eddie sexuality coming up in therapy anon! XD I’m gonna link to this post to keep the replies more or less connected... Thank you for writing in and I’ll second you in thanking the other Nonnies keeping this conversation going with great additions!

I’m so glad you feel reassured, and I also agree with you that 911 (like the majority of shows and films) mostly has monosexual characters (i.e clearly straight or gay) and it bothers me that we don’t have a single bisexual character. I do think that this door has been left open for Buck, through all sorts of teasing and hints going back to s1 even, and I do think it would be great if Eddie could represent coming to terms with sexuality at a later stage in life, where things don’t need to be as clearly defined, he just needs to accept that it’s okay to embrace happiness in whatever form it comes. I’m no meta expert, I’m just a person sharing my thoughts online TBH, but I think shows don’t like giving two characters the same exact storyline at the same time. Similar is possible and even welcome, since it creates all sorts of interesting parallels, but the exact same thing? Good TV shows tend to wanna avoid that. So I think that’s one good way for 911 to pull off Buddie going canon, with Buck less bothered about it ‘coz on some level he always knew he liked both boys and girls, while Eddie struggles a bit more, but eventually coming to simply accept that it’s okay to embrace what he has with Buck, whatever his romantic past or his perception of what he should be attracted to might have been. You’re not wrong, shows do prefer clarity on issues of sexuality ‘coz then they avoid being accused of having “turned” a character gay (I am so full of rage over this stupid accusation), but if 911 decides it’s brave enough to make Buddie canon, I believe it can be brave enough to go the more open-ended route as well.

Hope you’re having a terrific day, lovely! xoxox

(I got an influx of asks, I WILL answer all of them, but it might take a sec. If anyone wants to check whether I've already answered theirs or to read my replies, here's my ask tag. Thank you! xoxox)

[werevulvi]

Finally someone i can relate to somewhat. I like the effect of mtf hrt for the most part but i don't want to forget (or pretend to not know) that i'm a bisexuabl male with a chemically modified body. I am fairly stranded communitywise (ironically gc spaces worsened my dysphoria so i couldn't remain in them) which always brings a cutting sorrow of not having a 'home' but it's kinda good to see people who are on a similar wavelength even if i'm never going to truly meet you. Keep thriving queen!

Hi! I can totally see why gc spaces make your dysphoria worse... I've been noticing that many gc circles (especially radfem) tend to be a bit (lot) anti-male, so if it's those you came across, it's no surprise to me that it made your dysphoria worse. And I'm really sorry about that! I can only imagine that hearing you're some kinda evil oppressor for just how you were born physically can make you hate being male even more. I don't view it quite so harshly. Sure, a few (or a lot) of males were socialised very badly and thus turned out crap humans.

But it's not because of their biology that they're crap humans, and I would never condemn anyone for just the way they're born. I've known horrible men, but also very wonderful men. And most MtF's I've met, I've struggled to relate to, but they've been decent people just living their lives. I don't hate males, I can't agree with that sorta sentiment. I hate how some aspects of male socialisation teaches many men to hate women, but that's hardly the same thing, and I think it's an important distinction to make. Those semantics really do matter.

Point is, it makes sense to me why feminist, and female focused gc spaces, would make a dysphoric male/MtF even more dysphoric instead of less. Let's be honest: they give you all the reasons to hate being male.

And then what other gc spaces are there? Well, the conservative right (many of whom also Christian) comes to mind, and although they're less likely to hate on men, they do have a tendency to be uncomfortably anti-gay and anti-gnc, which... I dunno about you, but that makes at least me incredibly uncomfortable, if not even badly upset. Even those who aren't outright hateful towards gays/lesbians/bisexuals and gender non-conforming people, the vibe is just not very welcoming. That kinda gender critical community is not gonna help any gnc/same sex attracted person feel good about themselves either.

(I'm clearly stating the obvious here, but I think it's important to point out these issues with gc communities, just in case you don't know why they make you feel bad, and in case you want to know. If not... I'm sorry for salting your wounds!)

And that's about it when it comes to gender critical spaces, aside from individual people who aren't really aligned with any specific ideology, but still criticise gender ideology harshly, and/or help raise the voices of those who do. Posie Parker, Benjamin Boyce, Joe Rogan, and Arielle Scarcella come to mind. They're gender critical to varying degrees, but not particularly conservative, nor radfem. Although I've rarely ever seen any gc stuff that's actually positive towards males, that doesn't turn around and say stuff like "I hate men" and "femininity is gross on men" or "don't be gay" etc the very next second. So if I had been male instead, and still dysphoric, I'd probably be having a very difficult time accepting my sex too.

As I've been saying (mostly to myself) lately: we're not broken, the world is.

I feel pretty stranded communitywise too, actually. I have like one foot in the radfem/gc circles and the other foot in trans circles, neither of which really like me criticising them. I mean, it's probably just very human to not like being criticised for one's opinions, but... yeah basically gc's sometimes think I'm either "still in the trans cult" for not wanting to get rid of my physical masculinity, or they think I'm a man pretending to be a detrans woman, and they don’t like that I disagree with some of their views. The trans masses on the other hand generally have far more issues with me, my opinions and my identity. They would have be beheaded for less than just looking a little suspicious!

But here's the thing: I think trying to not rely on a community to feel loved and accepted is probably very important. There will always be individual people who love and support you, and agree with things that matter to you. These individuals can come from all sorts of ideological backgrounds, but what ties you together is true friendship, not community, which only mimmicks friendship in an often political way. I'm trying my best to focus on those individuals in my life (which really is just a handful of people) instead of trying desperately to find a whole community that will love and support me. Because that's probably not gonna happen. I am too provocative with my womanhood, and will always keep questioning everything. I don’t actually want to settle ideologically. I want to keep evolving and learning. The way I view myself doesn't really fit into any set ideology, because it’s a combination of things that matter to me personally. It is tailored to fit me and only me. And I think that's what's causing the friction. I'm ideologically a freeloader, or nomad, and thus, I get along best with others who also ideologically freeload.

Alas... I still feel that "ideological homelessness" too, and it does hurt. I think it might just be a result of too much ideological couch surfing. I'm always a guest, but never at home. Thus, I am always treated as a guest, and viewed with more scepticism. Who am I to barge into THEIR community? However, I still have a home, ideologically. It’s just that I’m the only one living there. And I think that might be applicable to you too: you do have an ideological home, you just live alone. That can be lonely, but it also allows you to think more freely and be more genuine about your opinions. Thank you, I want you to thrive too! Meeting irl might not happen on random like that, no, as I'm suspecting you don't live on the same Swedish island as me... but if you think an online friendship might be worth a shot... it's totally okay to send me a pm! I will warn you though, that I have a tendency to ignore people for a few weeks here and there though, as my sensory overload gets the best of me... really a lot. It's a challenge to be my friend, but some have told me it's really rewarding once they do get to know me. It's up to you! But I get the feeling that we might get along well.