#leo's angry desperate behavior would be way worse than it is here

[qoldenskies]

i cant stop thinking about what would happen if donnie did jump. How the others would react, how it would effect them & their relationships. in a weird way would it be better? at least they wouldnt have to watch someone they love and care for dearly become a terrified shell of himself due to their actions.

honestly i hesitate to make any sweeping judgements about how things would turn out, because time and how like... trusting it to heal is important is a thing brought up in CW, so i wouldn't want to contradict it, but i still think it would make them worse-off. at least now they can make it better and bounce back, knowing donnie will find himself in time (i mean. they will end up knowing that at some point. give it a bit next chapter's a mess) but if he'd jumped, they still would have watched him deteriorate through the curse, and they would have felt like they'd killed him. i actually think there's something more soul-crushing about knowing he killed HIMSELF because of them, because if they'd killed HIM, they could have at least imagined he didn't want to die. knowing they'd crushed him to that point is infinitely more heartbreaking.

he died alone and there was nobody there to hold him, not for months. at least with him alive they can reach out and hold him, even if it takes time for him to be comfortable with it. it's painful to see him flinch and then sink into the touch completely like he's never been shown kindness before, like he's forgotten what it even feels like, but at least he's there to get better. if he'd died, especially if he'd died like THAT, it would have destroyed the family dynamic irreparably. there would always be grief weighing them down, even when they find tentative peace. i really don't even know how it'd end up. would they even live together once they hit adulthood? it's not like they don't have options with the hidden city. i could see them splitting apart. who even knows man

[turtleflurple]

My headcanon of Donnie and Leo’s relationship when growing up together

Okay, so when thinking about the boys being a little younger, I can’t help but imagine Leo taking on a bit of a more antagonistic role in the family when growing up. Not that they’re not close as brothers, but I do find myself thinking that Leo could have been a bit more of a bully when younger.

Leo can be a bit of a jerk towards his brothers in the series, and especially looking at his behavior in Lair Games and Air Turtle, he kind of has the bad habit of lording his own superiority over his brothers and milking his winning for all it’s worth. We also know that Leo being a poor winner is a very old and known behavior. Leo is also very focused on being better than other people (going with how small social circle was before the show, this probably mostly meant his brothers when growing up), and while he’s very sure of himself he also has bouts of severe insecurity where he’s very desperate for reaffirmation.

Where as with Donnie, I find his behavior currently fits very well with a very sensitive child being picked on a lot when younger and over time hardening more into this “emotionally unavailable bad boy”. To me Donatello is always a very emotional individual, only he has trouble connecting and explaining himself to other people especially because he’s so intellectually gifted. I can see Donnie in Rise being a bit of a crybaby and pushover when he was younger, something that I see keen eyed Leonardo focusing in on and exploiting. This would create a relationship were Leo would rile Donnie up a lot since Donnie would be such an easy target and always guarantee a reaction.

Kids just kinda tend to be mean to one another sometimes, especially they get bored and/or want attention. Just look at the dynamic between Mikey and Raph in the 2003 series. Mikey picks on Raph constantly, because it’s easy and it gets a reaction. If Raph wouldn’t react to Mikey constantly goading him on, Mikey would probably find something else to entertain himself with and leave Raph alone for the most part. But Raph can’t really keep a lid on it since he has a very explosive temper and gets swept up easily in his emotions. But yeah, I can see how in Rise this dynamic growing up could have shifted more to have been between Leo and Donnie. But instead of growing angry like Raph, Donnie instead would mostly just get very emotional in general.

I think that as a sensitive kid, regularly being picked on would turn that up to eleven, thus making Donnie hypersensitive. You know the kind I’m talking about, the kinda kid that’s so easily triggered by any perceived hostile behavior that they tear up over the smallest of things and constantly run over to their caretaker for comfort, a type of behavior that tends to grow a bit tiring after a while. Since it’s obvious that the person Donnie would run to most of the time would be Splinter, I think Splinter would in turn grow to be a bit desensitized by Donnie’s tears and claims of teasing, maybe even get exasperated from time to time. Here you have four very rowdy children that you have to run after constantly to make sure they don’t end up killing themselves and/or each other, and one of them keeps crying out that the others are being mean to him. I would understand if you would just get a bit done with it all after a while.

So in this situation Splinter would mostly apprehend Leo for picking on his brothers in the beginning, and especially for picking on Donnie, but after a while would also more turn to Donnie and tell him to deal with the issue himself instead of always running to Splinter to hide behind. Not in a mean way, but more in an “I can’t be the one to keep solving all your problems, Purple” kinda way. But I think this would send the wrong message to Donnie and he will instead interpret Splinter’s words more as a command not to bother him anymore with his issues. As a result he will act more emotionally distant towards his father after I think, and tough it out more when he’s overwhelmed and/or feeling vulnerable, maybe even isolate himself more.

With Leo and Donnie I think it first grew a lot worse before it got better again. I think focusing in on Donnie and picking on him a lot grew into a bit of a habit for Leo, as it was funny to him since it always garnered a reaction. Donnie would grow increasingly upset, much to Leo’s delight, until the day that Donnie wouldn’t take it anymore and snap. He’d attack, cuss out or accuse Leo of being a bully, and Leo would be so taken off guard by the accusation that he wouldn’t know what to say or do. Leo wouldn’t see himself as a bully, even tho I think he would have kinda been one over that span of time, and this conflicting image of himself would shock him so much that he would be forced to reflect on his behavior and his relationship with his brothers, with the focus laying mostly on Donnie. I think that after this altercation Leo would have gone to Donnie and apologize but deny being a bit of a bully while still validating his feelings to a certain extend and promising to stop teasing him so much. Donnie would accept the apology, but the damage would already be done. Donnie would be a lot more emotionally closed off, since until that day it kind of taught him that those many emotions of his can and will be used against him. He would have become more aggressive and guarded, but over time mellow out more into the more familiar teenage Donnie we all know and love with his dry humor, sarcastic snark and anti-social tendencies.

I think that this would have played out when Leo and Donnie were between the ages of 7 to 10, and when they both grow older they will actually realize what had happened and heal. Leo will apologize for real, and Donnie would have already forgiven him. I think Leo would never have meant any harm, he had just been bored and Donnie was just sure to be entertainment. Donnie didn’t know how to handle himself back then and I’m sure that in between Leo picking on him he was nasty back as well (since I do believe Donnie can be a bit vindictive if he wants to). They were both younger, and when you’re a kid it’s difficult to think of others and the consequences of your actions.

But yeah! That’s what I think Donnie and Leo’s relationship tended to be like when they were a bit younger! And it’s not the case that in between the ribbing they didn’t also play around with each other, would tussle and take comfort in one another. But you know what I mean when you have siblings. It’s very easy to simultaneously dislike and love them, forgive and forget when you’re having fun, and honestly, there never were any mal-intentions. Just kids figuring out how to better take care of each other.

[lost-tanuki-whump]

Hostage Situation - Part 2c

Prompt Challenge: Hanging by the wrists, Rescue Cast: The Disaster Five Word count: 2.4k

* * *

Leonida didn't have perfect knowledge of the area they were in but decided that she could allow herself to slow down after running in a straight line for over an hour. They were in the middle of nowhere. She'd expected as much, Gren and her had had to walk a long time before finding the building. Their surroundings right now were made up of boulders and rocks and mostly felled trees. It took her a while to find a good shelter for Arkady, because the first she came across was a huge burrow and she wasn't sure what kind of animal she'd have to wrestle out of there, and it definitely wasn't worth the risk of getting her human crewmate involved when he was barely awake. She eventually stopped upon finding a natural pit in the earth beneath the rocky overhang of a boulder that was three times her height. All she'd need was to roll over two thinner slabs of rock and it'd be good against bad weather. Maybe she'd fine a third one to hide them. That would be good.

First things first, however. Leonida crouched in the dirt and pulled Arkady down from her shoulders to lay him in the earth. His blue eyes stared straight ahead and never once alighted on her face, and he didn't stay laid out on the ground the way she'd lowered him there; instead his body slowly curled up in a foetal position like a dying bug, small and tight the way she'd found him in the chest. His dirty hair stuck in clumps againt his wet forehead, long enough now that it nearly reached his eyebrows. He was wet and shivering and his dislocated arm hung uselessly down his flank. The rain had washed out most of the dried blood and where it wasn't dark from bruises or red from open wounds, Arkady's skin was paler than usual. His dark freckles stood out across the bridge of his nose even in the ebbing daylight. Leo noticed that his cheekbones were sharper. He looked sick.

"Arkady," she firmly said. He didn't react.

There was that nasty stab wound at his shoulder from the day before that was still seeping blood, and Leo remembered he'd been laying on his bad side when she'd found him in the chest. Fucking assholes hadn't even been careful about that. Or maybe it had been intentional. Leonida felt her anger rise and forced herself to focus. There was another wound all the way across his back that looked older, more superficial, and it was red and puckered. Leonida remembered he'd gotten that one about a week ago. The rest of the cuts and bruises littering his body seemed to have been healing all right- as well as they could have in those conditions. She laid her hand on his shoulder to turn him over and he resisted, his breaths coming in rapid forced bursts, still staring ahead.

"Okay," quietly said Leo.

She couldn't see any serious wounds on his front from her vantage point, but there was a one somewhere on his body that had stained her suit and she needed to find it.

"I'm going to feel for wounds."

She didn't wait for his assent because she knew she wasn't going to get anything from him in his state. Leonida slipped her hand under his flank and ran it from his hip to his armpit in search of an opening. Arkady shuddered violently when the heel of her palm brushed against one of his thick, jagged scars.

"Hey, it's okay, it's just me. I already know."

He'd started shaking more than before and wouldn't stop. Leonida kept going, there was no point in stopping just because he was having an automatic fear response. All she felt was the way his ribs stood out. She guessed that he hadn't been fed more than she had, and though Leo had refused everything that had been given to her, Arkady would have had no choice but to accept the small piece of bread and the shallow bowl of water. She wasn't that surprised that he hadn't been able to stand after spending a month on that diet and going through all that abuse for two weeks.

Leonida searched some more and finally found a deep cut right below his right collarbone. Her fingertips came away wet with blood and she could see thick pale liquid glistening there as well. She made a face. It had felt swollen and hot, nothing good ever came of that.

Leonida finished her check-up to make sure there weren't worse injuries and decided she'd have to start with the arm. There was a risk of nerve and muscle damage after leaving it dislocated for too long, especially since Arkady had been hung up by his wrists several times for beatings which had likely fragilized his shoulders, and if the damage became chronic no healing pod would be able to fix that. Leo scooted to the side, lifted a leg over his body to immobilize Arkady's shoulder with one foot and grabbed his wrist with her good hand, and didn't warn him before abruptly tugging and twisting his arm back in his shoulder.

Arkady shouted in pain and his arm jerked out of her grasp, and Leo lost her balance trying to get off of him as fast as she could. Her ass hit the dirt while Arkady hid his face behind his arms, starting to beg again just like he had when she'd found him in the chest.

"Proshu, pozhaluysta, ne nado," his voice broke on a sob, "ya umolyayu tebya, ne delay etogo... Ya nichego ne znayu, poetomu, pozhaluysta, ya tebya umolyayu...!"

Leonida knew jack shit about Russian. She only knew that Arkady sounded miserable and desperate and it hurt to see him this way. Leonida quickly got back to her knees to lean closer to Arkady.

"Hey, hey. It's okay, it's me. It's Leo." She gently touched his hand and he violently flinched away, but she didn't take her fingers away from his icy skin. "Leonida Trust, remember? Your captain? You think I'm really annoying."

Still shuddering, Arkady slowly angled his face towards her. His blue eyes were wide and distant, eyebrows pinched in terror.

"Ya umolyayu tebya-"

"I don't know what that means, Arkady," softly said Leo over his pleading. "But I can tell you you're safe here. It's just me and you."

He fell silent and continued staring at her as if waiting for the next blow, cheeks wet from his silent crying. Leo wasn't sure he'd really understood. She'd rarely seen anyone so traumatized in her life and that was saying something. It made something heavy and cold weigh deep inside of her to know that they'd been making Arkady this way while she was only a few rooms over. She took a deep breath to calm herself and then tried to wipe the man's tears away.

He recoiled again and immediately started begging: "Proshu, pozhaluysta-"

"Okay, okay," she quickly said and retrieved her hand. "Not your face. See? Not your face."

Arkady went silent again, his breathing just as unsteady as the rest of him, and continued gazing at her the way she imagined a hunted animal would.

"God... They really messed you up, didn't they," she murmured. "Can you speak English? Do you think you can speak English for me, Arkady?"

He didn't answer. She waited. After too long had passed, Arkady's unfocused gaze started drifting away from her face.

Leo leaned in. "Arkady? Can you say something in English?"

He didn't react, and just like that, he was gone again.

Leonida had seen this in soldiers she'd had to rescue from torture before. Sometimes they were perfectly conscious and awake even after months of nonstop abuse and turned out erratic, angry, scared, or all of the above; sometimes they had to be carried out because they were catatonic just like Arkady had been. Some cracked after a year, others after a week. Mostly, it depended on the kind of shit they'd already had to go through before and whether or not the individual was the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" type. Leo wasn't sure exactly where Arkady was situated on that spectrum, but from the things she'd noticed while living with him over the last months, he was definitely more brittle than the average soldier in their twenties. In the end, it wasn't that surprising to her that their captors had succeeded in breaking him.

Leonida stared at her second in defeat. Getting him to talk to her wasn't the main objective for now, she had to tend to the rest of his wounds. She went to kneel next to his shoulder and sifted through the health protocols she'd been taught, and made one of her chest compartiments draw back to take out desinfectant and antibiotic solutions. She couldn't be sure that it was signs of systemic infection he was displaying with his shivering and confusion, even if it could've been only psychological and because of the cold, but she wasn't willing to wait for a fever to break out.

Leonida quickly rubbed desinfectant into his wounds and then tried to make him drink the antibiotic. She'd half-feared that he wouldn't react and she'd have to force him somehow, but as soon as Arkady felt a drop of moisture settle on his cracked lips, his tongue automatically swiped at it and sought out more of the liquid. Leonida was able to simply hold the small plastic bottle in place while Arkady mindlessly drank.

When there was no more left, Leo retrieved the empty bottle and felt guilty when Arkady tried to go after it. Hopefully this behavior meant he'd accept solids too. Leo quickly produced a box of painkillers and pushed one out of its blister to gently shove it in Arkady's mouth. He eagerly swallowed that, too, and then his teeth grazed against Leo's fingers when he tried to find more to eat.

"Sorry, Arkady," she told him as she pulled her hand away. This felt like feeding an animal and it felt horribly wrong. She hated to see the cynical, grumpy technician she'd been trying to befriend reduced to this state. Leo had a feeling Arkady would hate it too, when he came back from this and remembered.

She needed to get him food and water but she didn't even have anything to collect rain. She needed to get him clean clothes, too, and something to sleep in. She'd have to start with making the shelter better protected from the elements of nature and make a fire. He'd survive no matter the conditions as long as she found him food and water soon, but Leo wasn't willing to see his recovery drag because he was cold and half-naked. She hoped that clothes and a warm sleeping bag would help him feel safer, too, and that maybe it would fix what was wrong with his mind. There was no way she could risk going back to the ship when she wasn't sure to have killed all of the hunters in that building, so she'd have to find supplies in the nearest town. Until then, they'd be stuck as they were.

Leo knew she wouldn't be able to allow Arkady as much rest as he needed because they had an opiel to save, too.

Leonida got up and stepped out from beneath the rocky overhang to get what she needed for a better shelter. She didn't go far and never let Arkady out of her sight for more than a few short moments at a time. After half and hour she'd rolled a smaller, blocky boulder to one side and a broken slab of layered rock on the other. It was very crude and left drafts of winds coming in from three places at once but at least Arkady would be hidden in there.

Leonida had wanted to find foliage to cover him with but only found damp pieces of wood; what this place made up for in abundance of rocks, it lacked in any kind of plants. She gathered enough thick branches to ensure a lasting campfire and hurried back to Arkady, dropping it all next to him and then proceeding to gather stones to delimit a zone on the ground in a circle. Leonida piled everything at its center and picked up the two sharp rocks she'd selected to start the fire. Rubbing them together with enough force to produce a spark was a piece of cake for her, getting the damp wood to catch on fire was not.

It took a while, and when it did finally catch on Leonida had to spend twenty minutes waving all the smoke away from Arkady while the wood dried out in the flames. She noticed that Arkady had dug his fingers in the soil at some point and Leo hoped that meant he was getting his bearings. Leo surveyed the fire for a little bit and once she was sure it was strong and steady enough that it wouldn't go out too early on its own, she turned to Arkady and carefully laid her fingers on the back of his hand. He didn't move, but she was satisfied to see that his skin was getting a bit warmer.

"You should sleep, Arkady. It's safe now."

Arkady's empty blue eyes had stayed open the whole time, if only closing to blink from time to time, and his tears weren't flowing anymore. Leo wondered if he'd been kept in that chest after every beating. If they'd somehow figured him out and used his claustrophobia against him to push him over the edge. If his blindfold had always been as damp with tears as when she'd pulled it away, and she just hadn't been able to see it on the grainy quality of the surveillance feed that she'd been shown. Leonida pushed the thoughts away for later, for whenever Arkady would be able to tell her.

"If you could come back in the morning, that would be really nice. It's lonely when you're not grumbling."

He didn't show any sign that he'd heard her. Leo stayed crouched before him in the same position for a while then eventually shifted on her feet to go lay down at his back, carefully keeping a few inches of distance between Arkady's ruined skin and the front of her suit. Leonida didn't emit as much heat as humans did and she briefly thought about the way J complained in winter because the material of her suit got cold. Right now it was warmed from tending to the fire, and she was at least preventing Arkady's back from being exposed to the chill of the windy drafts.

"I hope you're closing your eyes," she told the back of Arkady's head.

He didn't answer, of course, didn't even twitch as his curled-up body continued its steadfast trembling.

Leonida herself stayed awake through yet another night.

[breathebangtan]

Credulous

Ch. 1: Savior

Genere: FallenGuardianAngel!Jimin, Supernatural

Members: Jimin

Pairings: Jimin x y/n

Synopsis: love is an uncontrollable feeling, even for those who were meant to protect, and only protect. Nothing more and nothing less. Yet somehow, there was always outliers.

Warnings: Cursing, drunk behavior and what not

Word count: 2.5k

A/N: Please like and reblog if you enjoy!

Teaser | Mood board 1.0 | 1.5 | 2.0 | 2.5 | Ch.2

~

“I’ve got to go now, my lunch break just ended. So, I’ll see you later?” Rae asks through the phone, to which I hum in response. I hang up and toss my phone to the other side of my bed. Lately I’d been spending too much time alone, but I never truly felt alone. It always felt like someone was there with me, and it wasn’t at all an ill feeling. Not creepy, or eerie, or anything, it was actually quite a warm and welcoming feeling. Wasn’t sure why I felt that way, but the amount of warmth and comfort it brought pushed my questioning thoughts away.

Still remember the first time I felt it. I was sat on my living room floor, crying desperately for help. Help that no one would be able to give me. I’d been fired that night, and bills were starting to pile up. I wasn’t sure where I’d find a new job. I’d felt angry and wronged, the only reason I was fired was because of someone else’s mistake. Unfortunately for me, that person had it out for me, blaming their mistake on me purposefully. I remember how the anger and sadness made me feel empty inside. It was like I wasn’t myself, but suddenly everything stopped. My tears had dried up and the emotions I felt had evaporated. All I felt was comfort, warmth, and love. The presence of someone next to my side, yet there was no one there. From that moment on, every time I had felt upset, cried, or even simply felt alone, that feeling came crashing back.

It was hard to get use to the first week, too overwhelming. Over time I got use to it. It quickly became my own personal paradise. My piece of peace. My slice of heaven. I use to hate being alone, but now I couldn’t wait to come home from uni or work to be alone. Summer came after that, but the harsh sun rays that burned my sensitive skin couldn’t compare to the warmth I felt in the unknown presence. Soon I started to feel it all the time, faintly but still there. Of course it was always much stronger when I was alone.

I finally pulled myself out of my thoughts when the sweet smell of banana bread started to fill the apartment. I ran to my kitchen, ready to eat. I just wanted to stay in today, be wrapped up in my blankets and watch a movie marathon or something. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to. Rae had begged me to come to the frat party with her from the moment people started buzzing about it. It’s not like I didn’t like parties. I enjoyed the distressing that followed dancing and listening to the music. Being honest though, I was more into house parties with people I actually knew and cared about. Having fun and making jokes with my friends was easily preferable than frat parties.

Quite frankly, these parties weren’t always so helpful in distressing. Sometimes it would leave me feeling worse. It was always a gamble, and like always, I wasn’t sure which experience I’d get tonight.

Eventually, I gathered the strength to get up and hop in the shower. Didn’t take too long to decide on what to wear. A tight off shoulder black top that reached just above my belly button, along with a tight jean skirt. I fixed my hair and waited in my living room for Rae to call me when she was ready to go. Awhile past by before I finally got a message from her. She was outside.

She was barely walking up the stairs to my door when I stepped out. “Ready to kick off the weekend?” She cheered as she climbed the last two steps. “Of course, this should be fun.” My voice was only semi enthusiastic. I wasn’t trying to be so rude, but I just wasn’t feeling tonight. That, and I had an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach. “There’ll be a lot of cute boys there too!” She nearly squealed in excitement as she said this, making me grimace. “Yup, so many cute boys.” It was so much more obvious this time that I couldn’t care less. I mentally hit myself for letting it be so noticeable, just because I didn’t care didn’t mean I needed to ruin her night. “Oh, come on!” She pulled on my arm as we walked. “What?” I smiled innocently, hoping she’d let it go. Thankfully she did.

Finally after a long walk, we made to the party. The music thumping against my eardrums as soon as we stepped in. My first reaction was to look for drinks. I would need a few to be able to hold out long enough. Once I had two red cups filled with liquor in my hands, I walked back to Rae. Handing one of the cups to her. She thanked me and made her move on a guy she was crushing on for the past month. I rolled my eyes unconsciously as I made my way to socialize with another crowd.

Thankfully the night was going great. I had made a couple new acquaintances who were very funny. Talking to a couple familiar faces here and there. “We have Mr. Spencer’s class together, don’t we?” A familiar guy asked. He wasn’t wrong, he sat three rows ahead of me in class. His name was Leo. He was an alright student, the class knew him for being a jokester. Which our teacher enjoyed as he was somewhat of a clown himself. Always incorporating jokes into his lectures. “Yeah, it’s nice to see you, how are you enjoying the party?” I asked him, taking another sip of my drink. He ended up being really nice and stuck around for awhile. Which was nice and all, but I was afraid he was getting the wrong idea. The whole situation made me walk away and look for Rae again.

I had finally found her after a while of searching the place. She started gushing at me the second she saw me. “We fucken kissed! Y/n! He kissed me!” She dramatically placed her hand over her forehead and let her head fall back, as if she’d faint. “I’m not dreaming am I?” I could only giggle at her school girl behavior. She spent a long half hour telling me how she couldn’t believe he’d kissed her and she swore it couldn’t be real. That’s when Leo came around. He was leaning against the wall opposite of me. He was just there, watching me dance with Rae, and it had started making me uncomfortable after a while. Which lead me to just stand there and talk to Rae, in hopes he’d go away. To my luck, however, she noticed him too.

“He obviously likes you, just talk to him already!” Rae gives me a little push forward, in attempts to get me over to him. “I came to have fun, not get laid. Thank you.” I snort at her. Bestfriend or not, she needs to stop trying to get me to sleep with any piece of meat that walks in. This wasn’t the first time she had tried it. “Come on, live a little.” Rolling my eyes, I get ready to walk away. “I’m trying to but you won’t let me. Look, I think I know what I need and want better than you.” Empty red cup in hand, I walk into the kitchen to fill it up. Not knowing if the pounding in my head was a headache or the sickening base of the music playing.

I let the cold liquid slip down my throat before tossing the cup in the garbage can. This place was getting dull, I couldn’t see a reason to stay. I checked my pockets and bag to make sure I had all my belongings with me before I walked out the door. The music started to fade away in the background. The pain in my head calming.

Usually I wouldn’t have left a party so soon. I’d be on the dance floor, enjoying myself. However, tonight Rae insistence on finding me someone to go home with was utterly annoying and off putting. I couldn’t understand why she was so persistent about it. Too focused on Rae, I hadn’t noticed the foot steps that had steadily followed me for four blocks. My hearts palpitations started going crazy. I had been in my fair share of altercations, you’d think I’d be use to it, but no. Each time, my body entered a panic mode.

The pounding in my head came back as soon as I realized not much was left to my apartment. Who ever was following me would know where I lived. The panic started pumping through my veins like crazy. My ears buzzing at the sound of his footsteps getting closer and faster. What would I do?

“Slow down for me, yeah?” The man's voice brought shivers to my spine, despite the heat of the night. God could only help me now. I tried my best to just ignore him and keep walking faster. “Hey! I said slow down.” A strong hand gripped my forearm, yanking me back. “Aren’t you going to invite me over to your place?” The man’s face was familiar. It belonged to a friend that was standing next to Leo as he had watched Rae and I dance. I hadn’t even noticed his stares at me until now. Seeing his face placed the image in my head again. How did I not see him before?

“Look, I’m not looking for anything tonight, yeah? So how about we drop this?” I shook his hand off my forearm and turned around to keep walking. All of the alcohol seemed to be out of my system from this situation, a cold sweat washing over me. Not even two steps in, and he had his hand on me again. “Come on, I’ll make you feel good.” His hand traveled down to my waist, to which I quickly pushed away. His words filled my mouth with a bitter taste, making me grimace. “I said no.” My voice was meant to be affirmative but it was weaker than I intended. “Hey! Don’t walk away from me!” I could tell from his voice alone he was too drunk to function and just hoped he’d trip or something and pass out.

“She said no, why don’t you get out of here.” A blonde man, with a white sweater on walks up to us. The second he had walked up to us, I felt the familiar feeling of warmth, comfort, and love. Although, my body wasn’t responding to it like before. Instead it felt like it did the first week. Overwhelming and blinding, but it was twice as strong compared to that time.

“Why should I?” The creep from the party pokes. To intoxicated to realize that he’s not getting any tonight. “Haven’t I already made it clear? I. Am. Not. Interested.” Just my luck, why did I always have to get into these types of altercations? The panic state my body had been in was starting to fade. It’s not like I wasn’t worried about the whole situation, it’s just that the annoyance I was starting to feel overpowered it. Oddly enough, it was like that warm feeling was making me feel safe, like nothing would happen.

“You heard the lady. Leave, or else.” The poor guys attire didn’t exactly make him look like a threat, making me unsure of how seriously the tool in front of us would take him. “Or else what? What’s a fluff ball like you going to do? Huh?” He counters, flicking a strand of the shorter man’s hair, a light chuckle leaving his throat. Albeit, he wasn’t much taller. “You don’t want to know, trust me.” His voice came off assertive, nothing dark laced on it, but it sure as hell was packed with a certain type of power I’d never heard before. Leaving a tingle in my spine that told all my senses that, this man may look like he can’t take much, but looks weren’t always everything. The drunk man seems caught off guard for a moment as well, but he soon laughs it off. Not taking him seriously. White sweater next to me, suddenly turns and looks me dead in the eyes, “Walk away, yeah? I’ll deal with him.” He starts to jolt me forward, away from the two of them.

However, this jerk that doesn’t take no for an answer grips my shoulder. “She’s not going anywhere with you! I saw her first!” He yells, suddenly slamming me into his body, tight arm around my waist. “What the fuck? I’m not a piece of meat you can just call dibs on!” I yell back, shoving him away with my elbow. Quite possibly an all too ballsy move. He grunts in return, as my elbow had jabbed at his ribs. “You bitch!” He yells, raising his hand to hit me, lucky for me, my reflexes kick in. “Don’t you dare touch her.” The blonde guys voice commands him, stopping his hand in the air.

“Fine, I’ll go through you first.” He spits back. He starts swinging, but my rescuer perfectly doges each one. An impressed smile forms on my lips, but it doesn’t last long. The creep was starting to get irritated at his missed punches, causing him to look at me with anger in his eyes. “All because of some dumb slut? Have her!” He grunts as he pushes me, elbows hitting the ground first, breaking my fall. It causes a pain to rush up my arms at the sting. “I told you not to touch her.” The guys voice sounds lower than before. He turns to me. “Do as I say, walk away and don’t look back, now.” He tells me, and my body seems to answer to his words over my own thoughts. It’s like his voice switched on the autopilot function in my body.

I’m not too far when I realize that I never heard any grunts of pain, or the sickening sound of punches. What was going on? I wanted to turn back and see if my rescuer was ok. My body just wasn’t responding to me. My apartment complex was in view when I finally regained control of my body. Taking the chance to look back. Nothing was in the distance, and instead the blonde man was running to catch up to me. “You Alright?” I just nodded at his question, to confused as to what had happened after I walked away.

“Look at your arms, does it sting?” He questioned me as he delicately held my arm, turning it to inspect my scraped elbow. They were both bleeding worse then I had expected. “Do you have a first aid kit?” I was too overwhelmed by the warm feeling rushing back to me when he had come up to me again. “I don’t have band aids.” I blurt out, it’s barely audible, as if my mouth had run dry. “Let’s go buy some then, huh?” His voice asks the question, but his body language almost commands it. I follow him to a drug store near my apartment complex. God, what was happening? I felt dizzy with this feeling inside me and I didn’t know what to do.

I just hoped I didn’t faint before I got home.

[setoangel01-fanfiction]

Searching

Crazy - Chapter 26 (Previous Chapters)

Fandom: TMNT 2014/16

Pairing: Raphael x April (Raphril)

Rated: T

Chapter Summary: Raphael is missing. April is frantic while Leonardo searches for his lost brother in the desperate hope to prevent him from doing anything irrational.

Fanfiction.net

A03

Long, excruciating hours of anxious waiting and all April could do was silently pace around the small space of her apartment. Sending out texts and calling the red-banded brother's phone over and over again… without any response.

Hours had passed since Raphael fled her apartment like it was ablaze and the slight worry was quickly morphing into frantic anxiety. Her screams of telling him to come back went unanswered and since then, April felt nothing but a hallow hole grawing deep in the pit of her stomach.

As much as the brunette would like to believe Raph when he said he had patrol and left with hardly a word, she couldn't ignore the sensation that she was being lied to. There was also no way he was asleep since she knew for a fact if he went on patrol, it wouldn't conclude til at least four in the morning. It just - didn't feel right since Raphael wasn't one to ignore her and she hadn't the vaguest idea of what she may have said during their brief interactions that possibly set him off. Everything was perfectly fine when all of a sudden, he took off with the most half-assed excuse she'd ever heard from him.

It just wasn't like him at all...

The reporter couldn't help but be worried wondering if he went off and got himself into trouble or danger like he would frequently do. So little self-preservation if his numerous injuries and scars he acquired almost daily were anything to go by... Heart pounding, she jumped slightly when her cell 'pinged' in her shaky hands. Instant relief flooding her system was quickly diminished upon reading a text from Leo rather than Raphael and the context of the text nearly stopped her heart cold in her chest.

"Have you seen Raph? He hasn't come home yet."

April, her legs suddenly weak, plopped down on the worn couch as she tried to calm her breathing even with her stomach lodged itself into her throat. Texting forgotten and panic overtaking her system, she called him.

"Leo?" she asked upon him answering.

"Oh. Hello, April. What's going on? Did Raphael decide to stay at your place tonight? It's fine, I just wished he'd inform me of his plans ahead of time." Leo replied with a throaty chuckle, unaware of the grimace forming on April's mouth.

"R-Raph said you texted him that he had patrol."

"What?" Leo chuckled, "No, I didn't. That doesn't make sense, it's his week off."

That news had a chill echoing deep down through her spine. "...Raphael left three hours ago." April whimpered, shocked she allowed the sound to come out.

"..."

"Leo?" April asked hysterically when he didn't respond.

"...I-It's okay, April. Don't worry, I'm sure everything is fine. I'll have Donnie track his phone since he's not answering it for some reason, but it's okay - we'll find him. Raph probably went to cool off or just lost track of time; he tends to do that occasionally."

"I hope you're right."

"Hey, April...are you okay?"

"I…" she struggled to keep her voice from breaking or retelling the night's events to the eldest terrapin brother but she bit it back, "I'm alright... Just a damn headache, um, please, let me know when you find him."

"Will do. Don't worry too much, alright? Have a goodnight." with that, the blue-clad leader hung up the phone, leaving April to listen to the droning beep on the other line before she hung up and tried to quell the frantic pounding of her heart.

A sigh left Leonardo's mouth as he hung up the phone with a forceful push of his thumb before placing it back in the pouch of his belt. Pushing his shoulders back, he left the lair in search for his brother through the dark, frigid night hoping he wasn't too late…

Only one thing was certain - Leonardo despised this part of his job.

An hour had passed since he departed the lair in a desperate search for Raphael and still found nothing. A gnawing began to plague his stomach when he contacted Donnie and was informed Raphael shut his phone off close to April's apartment, meaning the red-banded terrapin could be anywhere in the city by now…

Stopping at a rooftop edge, Leo sighed at his brother's typical brash behavior for whether Raphael liked to believe it or not, he wasn't invincible.

It was as if Raph's very purpose in life was to drive him absolutely insane ever since Master Splinter gave him title of leader. The once-impenetrable bond he shared with Raphael was severed permanently as if it never existed whatsoever; it frankly didn't stand a chance with the stubborn and hotheaded brother of his who detested Splinter's decision. In its place was growing resentment and a fierce jealousy the younger brother couldn't mask and ever since that day, Raphael grew reckless; doing everything in his power to go against orders and rebel like some angry, misguided teenager hellbent on making Leo's life a living hell. Like his red-banded brother was purposefully making his job harder just for some leverage in digging his burrowing bitterness underneath his shell.

Little did his younger brother know, but Leo never wanted this position.

Truthfully, he despised the title of Leader and all the connotations it entailed but he would never say it aloud. Leonardo didn't like the responsibility of being the sole one responsible for keeping family safe and coming up with plans to disarm criminals and enemies in a moment's notice. A difficult job which Raphael tended to make nearly impossible whenever given the chance.

Yet over the years, Raphael seemed to mellow out some - especially after April O'Neil spontaneously came into their lives.

Raphael did hide a lot, but there was no masking the feelings he had for their hogasha.

It was rather sad how easily the normally stone-faced Raph let it show, but apparently, he was the only one who saw straight through the act. Mikey and Donnie had no idea (either that or they didn't mention it) and apparently, neither did April.

Leo desperately wanted to do it - to approach his hotheaded brother and flat out tell him it shouldn't happen just because of the mere shit storm it would be certain to cause. He wasn't worried for April, but for Raphael - his brother, for as hard-headed and strong as he seemed outwardly, had more of a fragile shell than Raphael would ever admit even under threat of death. As much as Raphael aggravated him tormented him, disobeyed him, and plain drove him crazy with his irrational behavior - Leo never intended to hurt his brother. All Leo wanted to do was protect him, shield him, discourage him from chasing after such a fruitless endeavor that could end up being the death of him.

So, at first, Leonardo said nothing.

As time went on, Leo merely watched the story unfold from the sidelines; seeing if anything at all would come of it other than anguish - and so far, nothing had - until the point Leo began silently rooting for something deeper to develop between Raphael and April. It took some time, but he began to witness just how inexplicably happy April made Raph. Smiles that were rarely glimpsed became a permanent fixture on his face whenever their hogasha was around. More shocking was when he noticed the slight nuances of April's behavior toward his brother; how she tended to seek him out; touch him for no reason, and always make sure to call him at least once a day and they were always texting back and forth...

...Until a year later they met Casey and Leo watched it all crumble like a house of cards.

While he personally had nothing against the masked vigilante, it was immediate chemistry between him and the pretty reporter and it was when Raphael began to spiral down a deep, dark road once again. It was only a matter of time, he supposed for as nice as it was to envision his little brother and April hook up and perhaps fall in love when the two finally stopped skirting around each other...their reality wasn't a fairytale. The two had come from such different worlds and yes, while she was vital for their lives and owed it to her, Leo knew it would ultimately happen; that she'd find someone who fit into her world... someone that wasn't Raphael.

This realization and his desire to protect his brother's heart finally forced his hand. Leo approached Raph about April, telling him he would only be hurting himself if he continued to pursue her, but if anything, it only further drove the wedge between them.

Leo would be lying if it didn't hurt to see his little brother grow colder once again; smiles weren't as easy to come by as before the masked vigilante came into April, and their, lives. The title Leader hurt worse than ever right now for it has always been his job to keep his his younger brothers safe - but this wasn't anything he could protect Raphael from and now - Leo had to reluctant accept that he ultimately failed…

Stepping into a darkened alley, Leonardo finally found Raphael.

The temporary relief upon finding him alive quickly faded upon taking in his red-banded brother. Raphael sat at the end of the dark alley, shell pressed against the wall and a look of utter despair etched into his face if the drying tear tracks streaking his bloody face weren't enough. Scanning his form further, Leo couldn't help but flinch when he took it Raphael's leg and knuckles. Dark green scales were horrifically torn apart and bleeding profusely and one of his hands was definitely broken; the knuckles of each a mesh of ripped skin and blood.

"Get fuckin' lost, Fearless..." Raph suddenly snorted, wiping his face with his injured hand, smearing fresh blood across his snout in the process.

"I'm not leaving you here, Raph. It's freezing out here, you shouldn't be out here in this weather for any long period of time. Now, get up and let's go home." Leo was stern, knowing if he let his guard down now, he'd be tempted to give his bristled sibling a hug that the hotheaded turtle definitely didn't want.

Raph grunted as he shifted on the bloody pavement, "I don't care... now leave me da fuck alone, Leo!" Raph growled, brandishing his canine fangs in a veiled threat.

"Make me." Leo replied calmly, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

Raphael's golden eyes flashed menacingly before he outright roared.

The massive turtle pushing himself blindly to unsteady feet and instantly attacking Leo without preamble or even a warning, but the Leader merely stepped aside. Not even breaking the barest swear while he swiftly avoided every clumsy punch and kick like clockwork. It was the same song and familiar dance they'd been doing for years and Leo could do it with his eyes closed. This was the very reason Leo stressed Raphael to control his anger because when Raph was angry, he fought sloppily, leaving enemies wide open to attack his most vulnerable areas.

And tonight, Leo was aiming straight for his pride.

One quick kick to Raphael's wounded leg, which Leo admitted was quite a cheap shot, but he didn't want to get into a big brawl where there could be people walking or living nearby to witness. Leo had to take him down - now. The swift slam of his thick leather shoe against his torn flesh had Raphael grunting loudly in pain as he gracelessly collapsed back to the ground with a thud.

"You ready to go home now?" Leo chided.

Within the blink of an eye, Raphael was back on his feet; glistening sais in gnarled fists as he launched himself akin to a runaway train headed straight for his brother.

Leo didn't even flinch; merely ducked and weaved along with every punch and kick Raphael threw his way. If Raph was in his right mind, Leonardo might have even had to draw his own broadswords to counter, but in his delicate state, Leonardo didn't dare in fear of hurting Raphael even worse.

"Raphael! Stop!" Leo demanded, blocking a sharp jab intended for his face. "There's no way you can beat me in this condition! Wait, you can't beat me anyway..."

"Shut yer fuckin' trap!" Raphael yelled, throwing himself at his brother; the blades of his sais nearly catching Leonardo's arm. "Leave me da fuck ALONE!"

"No!"

"Get away from me, Leo!" Raphael choked out in a guttural scream, his voice hoarse and actions becoming far more sloppy as he furthered his attack.

"I'm not leaving you here alone, Raph! We're brothers! Family!"

"Fuckin' shut up! Ya never fuckin cared before!"

"I DO care, Raphael! I've always cared about you! If I didn't care than tell me, why am I here?!"

"Yer only here 'cause Splinter prob'ly told ya to be - ya'd only do something like dis if he asked ya because normally, yer usually too busy kissin' dad's ass to care about me at all!" Raphael grunted, a sudden sob breaking the last word into a wail.

Leonardo froze, staring at his hunched over brother before uttering, "Raph…" Leo's voice was gentle as he watched Raphael suddenly throw his sais down, the metal clattering noisily in the dim alley. Nothing but sheer, utter agony was lacing his little brother's eyes and it shook him straight down to his very core.

"..."

"Raph, what happened?"

"..." Raphael didn't speak but he didn't have to.

The massive terrapin turned his face away from him, the darkness of the alley not hiding the glistening tears that slipped down Raph's face before they were roughly wiped away with a shaking, bloody hand.

"Nothin' happened, a'ight!?… Now, will ya kindly fuck off?" Raph growled out but all the fire was gone from his voice, "…I jus' wanna be alone…"

"I'm sorry, Raph, but that's not gonna happen…" Leo replied before knocking Raphael out cold.

Painful seconds and minutes trickled by into hours as April continued her frenzied pacing.

The reporter halfway watching a show to calm her nerves slightly while checking her phone to make sure she didn't miss any messages or calls. It was nearly 3am when she began to fly into a blind panic but still refused to call Leo back - the last thing April wanted was to look like some desperate person hopelessly obsessed with his brother.

But fuck, she was worried…

Raphael hadn't rebelled like he used to back in the day - well, as far as she knew.

Mikey relayed instances of multiple occasions where the red-banded turtle would disappear for days at a time only to come crawling back with cuts and bruises and be instantly sent to the hashi without a word. It didn't help when so many worst-case scenarios flitted around her mind even going back to the nightmare with Sack's - the insane man who was ready to dissect them and drain their blood - similar imaginings of it happening to the biggest turtle shook her straight down to her core and she couldn't help but blame herself for this.

April poured over every single word she spoke wondering what the hell she said that could make him react that way...because if anything, Raphael was a terrible liar and she'd seen straight through his bullshit when he said he had to go because he 'had patrol'.

...since when did Raph ever listen to Leo?!

When a blurry transcript of the conversation began playing in her head and how Raphael reacted with such panic upon her arrival, April instantly began regretting her less than kind words and actions toward him. Saying things she never would have had not she been suffering from a massive hangover and headache; his presence not expected after her admittedly prolonged absence…

Instantly, April's heart shattered when a flicker of Raphael's face showed up in her mind's eye from hours earlier. The utter panic and fear etched into his golden irises; the bags under them not hidden by the scarlet bandanna and it dawned on her then - what had she done? April bit her lip, heart frantically throbbing painfully in her chest when her phone suddenly pinged.

Troubling thoughts falling to the wayside, April peered down at the device and nothing could match the utter relief that flooded her system upon reading Leo's simple text of -

"He's home."

Clenching the small device in her hand, she lifted the other one up to brush back an errant strand of hair that obscured her vision. Upon doing so, she skirted her fingertips against her cheek and was surprised to realize that they were wet. The warm tears clinging to her skin before she wiped them away with a trembling hand.

Guilt settled deep in her gut, April allowed a sob of relief to escape her lips.