#leo is casey's dad and I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL LIKE GRAM GRAM

[mad4turtles]

brave when I have to be (pt 2)

a ROTTMNT future!fic

[PART 1 HERE]

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Casey is going to die.

Physically, he's no worse for wear. His broken hand is an easy fix between Master Mikey's healing hands and the sling Aunt April fashions to keep it steady against his chest, the cuts he received from Subprime's claws are all stitched up, and the bruises will eventually fade with some ice. 

Mentally, emotionally and spiritually? Casey can feel the noose around his neck, tense and tight as the silence chokes the med bay.

Master Leonardo hasn't said a word. He'd tended to Casey's minor lacerations, but his face was hard and cold. He didn't look Casey in the eye once. And Casey's too afraid to try, so he keeps his head down and doesn't talk. It won't do much to prevent his death, but it might quicken the blow. 

Leonardo puts the equipment away, carefully rolling up the unused bandages and throwing out the bloody tissues. Michelangelo takes Casey's uninjured hand and holds it tight. April is typing something on Uncle Tello's Genius Built vambrace, probably checking in on the soft shell. 

Thinking of how badly his hands shook as he fought for control makes Casey's eyes burn with shame.

Sensei snaps the first-aid box shut and straightens, facing the wall. “Commander.”

Everyone jumps. Aunt April sets her jaw and steps forward. “Sir.”

“Take Casey to my quarters. I'll finish up here. Michelangelo, help Don. It's been over ten minutes, and he hasn't calmed down. He might need assistance.”

Twin senses are something else, Casey thinks in awe.

But Uncle Mikey frowns at Sensei's shell. “Leo—”

“Michael. Go. Help. Don.”

Uncle Mikey's frown deepens, but he lets Casey go with a final hair ruffe before floating off the ground and through the door. Aunt April gives Sensei's shell a look before helping the boy off the bed and herding him out of the med bay with an arm around his shoulders. 

Her grip is tight but not restraining. He could run for it right now. He wouldn't get far, but he could try.

But the look on April's face has him leaning against her instead. He needs it about as much as she does.

They reach Sensei's room—back where it all started—and Casey sits on the bed. It's huge, just like Sensei, and soft as far as old mattresses go with limited resources. 

April rolls her neck and shoulders with a long sigh, hands on her hips. “Damn,” she says with feeling. “What a freakin' day.” 

She looks at Casey, frowning sternly, and the boy wilts under her gaze. She's always been fierce, fearless and wild as his mother, but she's never lost her temper the way she did. Even now, all shades of angry and frightened, her stare doesn't burn through him, but still blisters the skin. 

“Your Sensei's prolly gonna give you hell when he gets here,” she says, “but I'mma give you my two cents real quick. If you ever pull that shit again while I live and breathe, I will slap the caps off your knees.”

Casey believes her. He's seen her do it. “Yes, ma'am,” he squeaks.

April nods. “Good.” Then she leans down to squeeze Casey in a hug. Eyes watering, Casey returns it as best he can with one arm, burying his nose into her shoulder. 

She kisses his cheek. “Love you, baby.”

Casey sniffs. “Love you, too.”

There's a knock at the door, ending the moment swiftly and cruelly as April lets go and straightens. She claps him firmly on the shoulder with a smile that sits like a grimace and says, “Good luck.”

Gee, thanks. I'll write that on my tombstone.

Sensei walks into the room, big and imposing in ways Casey only ever saw in the aftermath of battle. April leaves Casey and gives Sensei a long look on her way past him. There's a conversation in their eyes Casey isn't privy to, a connection a lifetime in the making beyond anything Casey will ever know. 

Whatever April says has Sensei sighing, shoulders drooping. April briefly squeezes his left hand and leaves the room. Sensei shuts the door behind her, and then it's just them. 

Sensei's metal hand clenches the handle tight for a minute. Shoulders climbing to his ears, Casey bites his lip.

Then Sensei faces him, the frown as deep as it was in the med bay but not as cold. He crosses the short distance until he's looming over Casey, folding his arms. 

Casey has never felt so small.

“I don't think it needs to be said, but I'll say it anyway,” Sensei says lowly. “Casey, I am very disappointed in you.”

He isn't yelling, but this feels ten times worse. Casey ducks his head, staring hard at his lap. “I know.”

“See, I don't think you do. You—Jesus, Casey, you could've been killed today!” Sensei's voice climbs as the anger spikes, frustration drawing a hiss from his chest as he pinches the bridge of his snout. “You deliberately disobeyed me! And what's worse, you could've jeopardized the whole team! They had no idea you were there or that you left! What if you blew their cover by sneaking off? What if Subprime called for reinforcements while he hunted you down?! Did you even have a plan? Do you have any idea what you could've done?!”

Casey's eyes fill up and spill over his cheeks. 

“I'm sorry,” he hiccups because his body enjoys betraying him today, making him look and act like the baby they all see him as. At this point, though, he probably deserves it. 

“I just—I just wanted to help. I-I thought I could be a s-scout, spot the danger before it got too close. I didn't mean to get caught. I didn't mean to make trouble or—or hurt Uncle Tello or make you mad.” He scrubs his good arm over his face and only makes more of a mess as he sniffles hard. “'m so sorry, Sensei.”

He can barely see through the tears but watches the fight drain out of the slider. The fire dies, and Sensei sighs long and heavy. He sits on the bed next to Casey, rubbing his left hand over his face wearily. For a moment, he says nothing, Casey's sniffles filling the silence.

“... Casey,” he says softly, still retaining some of that earlier sternness. “I'm... I'm mad, don't get me wrong. Like, I'm freaking livid at what you did. But I don't want to be mad at you because I know you. You wouldn't have done this unless you thought you had a damn good reason. Am I right?”

Hesitantly, Casey nods.

“Thought so. So... Help me understand. Why did you go up there? Did you feel like you had to?”

Casey swallows a sob and nods again. 

Sensei nods back. “Okay. Why?”

“'Cos—“ Casey's voice breaks. He tries again. “'Cos I wanted to show you I was... good enough, y'know? That I'm brave enough, s-strong enough to help everyone up there. To help you so you don't get—get hurt again.”

He tries not to look at the gleaming metal arm and fails. 

Sensei hisses a curse and leans back on the bed. “Knew it,” he mutters. “Freaking Tello, stop being right all the time.” 

He turns back to Casey. Understanding gleams in aged golden eyes. “That's why you were so hell-bent on going up this morning. You want to protect me.”

Finally. 

Casey's eyes fill up again. “Y-Yes. I was just trying—I only wanted to help, Sensei, I promise! Y-You came back but—but you almost didn't, y-you nearly died and—and I can't lose you, too, Sensei, I can't—!”

“Oh, buddy.” 

Sensei—no—Uncle Leo pulls Casey to his chest, pressing his beak into his wild black hair, holding tight, the ever-steady rock for Casey to cling to as he falls apart. “Shh, Casey, it's okay. You're okay, just breathe. Easy, hijo, easy. I'm here. I've got you.”

And with that, Casey gathers all the fear, frustration, anxiety, love and grief of the day and sobs his heart out. Uncle Leo churrs, a soothing rumble deep in his chest that sometimes reminds him of Uncle Raph, but still every inch his Sensei.

(Another word that sits heavy on his tongue, ready and aching to be spoken. He doesn't say it. He needs to take back what he did say first.)

The sobs eventually die into sniffles. Uncle Leo pulls Casey closer, left hand carding through his hair. He swallows hard and then sighs. “You have your mother's spirit for sure. Always looking for a fight—for what you believe in or just for the sake of it. Or to protect the ones you love.”

He draws back to meet Casey's eyes. He lifts the tip of his blue scarf to dab the tears off Casey's blotchy face just like he used to. He almost loses it all over again. 

“But she learned something—we both did—that we can't always fight our way through everything,” he continues sombrely. “Sometimes we can't fight, no matter how strong, smart or brave we are. Sometimes it's better to stay low, wait, and hone your skills. Helping in little ways that might not seem important but mean everything when the time comes. Trust me, Case. You do more for us than you even know.”

Casey stares into his Uncle's eyes and almost searches for a lie. He knows better, though, so he doesn't.

As if reading his mind, Leo smirks. “I wouldn't joke about something like that, bud. As for the whole 'protecting' situation, you don't have to do that. And you sure as hell don't have to go looking for trouble to prove anything to me or yourself. That's not what being strong or brave is about.”

Okay. Casey gets some of that, but—“What about you?”

“Eh?”

Casey swipes his arm under his nose, ignoring the snot on his sleeve. “You go up looking for fights every day.”

Leo sweats. “Uhh, it's—it's not quite like that—”

“And you're the strongest, greatest ninja the world's ever seen.”

“Gee, that's not gonna inflate my ego or anything, thought I left that shit behind—”

“And you're not scared of anything!”

Leo pauses. His eyes grow distant as he stares at his lap. Casey watches. Had he said something wrong...?

“I was today.”

Casey blinks. 

He'd known Uncle Tello and Mike were scared—they wear their hearts on their sleeves, just in different fashions, much like Auntie April shows her worry with threats followed closely by rough but warm affection. But he hadn't thought...

“You—you were?”

Leo turns. He looks right at Casey like he holds the moon, sun and stars in his eyes. “Yeah.” 

He reaches for Casey's shoulder and pulls him close enough to press their foreheads together. The slider shuts his eyes and clenches his jaw. 

“I thought I might lose you,” he says. “You're all we have left, Case. You're the reason we're doing any of this. You're the reason I'm brave. Don't know what the hell I'd do without you, hijo.”

Oh. 

Oh holy shit.

Casey's chest feels warm and full, like a boiling mountain ready to burst. His eyes sting enough to hurt, but the grin across his face hurts more it's so big. It's a good hurt, though. He hasn't had many of those.

“Oh,” he chokes. Then he giggles, a little hysterical, and nuzzles his forehead against Leo's to bring a chuckle out of him before they draw back. Casey sniffs messily. “Guess even great ninjas get scared, huh?”

“Oh yeah,” Leo huffs, swiping a thumb under his damp eye—like Casey wouldn't notice. “Like you wouldn't believe.” 

Still riding the giddy high, Casey snickers. “Y'know what, though?” he whispers, despite them being the only ones in the room.

Still, Leo leans in and whispers back, “What?”

“I think Subprime was even more scared. I mean, if Krang could piss themselves—”

Leo throws his head back with a startled bark of laughter. “Jesus, kid—!”

“Am I wrong?” Casey cackles, kicking his feet. “I mean, what you did was sick—in more ways than one—and he deserved it! An eye for an arm! That's what he gets for messing with my Dad—!”

Leo stops laughing. Casey's eyes pop wide open. They stare at each other.

Casey sweats. 

Too much, too soon, too far. 

But then Leo smiles, wide and delighted, eyes brighter than Casey has ever seen them. “... Hell yeah,” he says. “And that bastard had to learn not to mess with my son.”

Son. Casey could dance. 

But then Leo's smile becomes a sly grin, his right arm slowly moving around Casey. “And you're right. He had it coming. 'Cos nobody messes with your Dad. C'mere, you!”

“Oh no—!” 

He snatches Casey up, pulling him into his lap and driving his knuckles into Casey's scalp. It hurts like a bitch but Casey's laughing as he squirms and wriggles in the slider's metal grasp.

“AH! Nonononono—ow, Sen—Dad, stoppit—!” Casey giggles.

“Absolutely not!” Leo cackles. “And don't think you're off the hook just because you called me 'Dad' and we had a whole heart-to-heart thing! Your ass is still grounded—for three months!”

“What?!”

“You heard me! You are not getting out of this by being cute—oh shit—!” 

Casey wriggles enough to dig two fingers under Leo's chin, making his partially retreat into his shell long enough to loosen his grip and let Casey scramble free, grinning manically. “Gotcha!” he hollers, leaping on top of the turtle right as his head pops back out, attempting to put him in a lock with one arm.

“Ohoho, you wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts!” 

Leo jumps off the bed, Casey bundled in his arms and shrieking with shock and delight when the turtle manhandles him until he's upside down, legs kicking wildly in the air as Leo hugs him around the waist and spins. “Now, who's got who you little shit?!”

“I'm gonna puke!” cries Casey, the blood rushing to his face. “Mercy, mercy, white flag, I surrender—Sensei, my arm!”

Leo chuckles, gently tossing a breathless Casey back onto the bed. He heaves a long sigh, a smile stretched wide across his beak. “Alright, alright. But seriously, three months; for dissing me earlier, for leaving, and scaring the utter shit out of all of us.” He sits down next to Casey, his smile falling a few inches. “Especially me.”

(Casey thinks of how he'd snarled at Subprime before he'd gauged his eye out, how he'd been taut as a stretched copper spring from the moment they returned until the second he had Casey in his arms, and believes it.

Fear and worry take many forms. His Sensei's is an inferno, tamed to a candle for those he loves as their guiding light. For Casey, it's a supernova, barely contained, until the boy looks his way, holds his hand or smiles—all that's left are embers, gentle and warm like a campfire to protect him against the dark and the wild of a ruined world.

His love fuels his fear, and vice versa. It's a vicious cycle Casey won't fully understand. But he won't forget it as long as he lives.)

Sobering up, Casey flops against the pillow and sighs. “Yeah. I know. And I really am sorry.”

“I know you are.”

“Not just for leaving, but... for everything I said before. I didn't mean it and I shouldn't have said it. I won't do it again.”

“I know you won't.”

“No, really, I mean it!”

“I know you do.” 

Casey pouts. “How do you know?”

Leo smiles, leaning over to chuck Casey under his chin affectionately. “'Cause you take after me. So much that it's scary, honestly. So I know you did what you thought you had to, and I know you won't do it again now that you've seen where you went wrong.”

… huh. 

“So you're saying, like father like—?”

“Don't finish that sentence.” 

“W-why?”

“Nothing against you, just. Meta humour.”

“What are you actually talking about.”

“Don't worry about it. Let's just get you back to your room to rest.” Leo stands up and stretches until bones pop in his back and remaining arm. “We can iron out the details of your three months when we're not both keyed up and—”

“A-Actually...”

Leo looks at Casey over his shoulder. “Hm?”

Casey stays where he is, twisting his fingers in a show of nerves he's yet to curb. “... can I... um...?” He shrinks back a little, face burning. It's so stupid, bonding moment or not. “...can I stay here tonight? I mean, it was my fault, I know, but I'm... just...”

Leo softens immediately. “Ah. Still freaked out?”

“I think I'll dream of being chased through the sewers for the rest of my life.”

“I would say that's a good incentive not to do that again, but I won't lie, it'll probably happen again.”

“You are not helping me feel better.”

“Then scoot your tiny ass over so I can sleep already, damn.”

Relieved and scolding himself for ever doubting at all, Casey snickers and obediently shuffles across the bed to the wall, ducking under the blanket as Leo removes his gear, scarf, and mask and carefully detaching his mechanical arm, setting it on the long desk to charge in the port Uncle Tello made for him. 

Then he lifts the blanket and falls gracelessly into bed, deliberately bouncing Casey to make him yelp. “Jerk,” Casey giggles.

“Brat,” Leo retorts with a yawn. He pulls Casey closer with his left arm and shuts his eyes. “Now shut up and go to sleep, or it's five months.”

Casey snuggles against his plastron. It should be uncomfortable, but to him, it might as well be a second pillow. The steady heartbeat under his ear is a lullaby, and his eyes droop as the day finally catches up to him. 

He closes his eyes. “Aishiteruyo, otōsan.”

He feels Leo stiffen. His heart stutters beneath Casey's ear.

Then—“Heh...” he chuckles wetly. He drops a kiss into Casey's hair. “Te quiero, hijo.”

In the safety of the underground, under the watchful eyes of his family (in whatever form they may take), Casey feels safe. Warm. Loved.

There's no need for bravery here. In his father's arms, he doesn't have to be.

Casey falls asleep with a smile.

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