#lemon is a concerning one though because you can't get lemon on many things unless you tried Really hard or tried to Not try Really Hard

[keeps-ache]

smells are like ghosts.. when did this pomegranate get in the room

[thissugarcane]

qaf rewatch notes to self, s1

episode... wait where am I again? oh yeah, 1x12, "move it or lose it". wait what is this one about? oh wait-- no, this isn't kip yet. this is brian and mikey.

brian running in a clean loft with mikey's pictures still up; an interesting thought: brian uses exercise to escape feelings of anxiety/depression?

michael's determination he's going to be "too happy with david" really feels a loooooot like justin's protestation he's so happy with ethan, eh oh el

cynthia asking brian about what's going on with michael: she really is a good friend in the small way she can be.

also, brian calling ted and ted being like "what the fuck are you doing calling me?" -- as much as brian is desired by all he really only has like. two friends. poor bastard.

oh jeez, I forgot this is emmett's gay crisis :(

mel calling gus "your son and brian's. I just pay the bills". and mel trying to get lindsay to open up and talk, clearly they're not actually all that well-suited, communication wise. lindsay avoids confrontation like the plague unless she can control it, and mel welcomes it. like, they never actually learned to adapt how to talk to each other

awww. ted trying to be a good friend by asking brian about whether he's talked to michael! and brian being actually genuine (though annoyed) when he says "I told you, he's out of my life and i'm out of his. so would you please shut the fuck up about it?"

it's interesting to see how while Brian almost always deflects emotional conversations with the gang with sarcasm... in the moments when they ask him with genuine concern how he is / what's going on / etc., he does (sometimes) respond with genuineness and openness back. He isn't angry at Ted here and it does feel like Ted understands the "please" is genuine.

also randomly, was Brian drinking something with six marachino cherries stuck in a pineapple?! did he actually order a fruit cocktail? he's playing with.... it's a lemon with marachino cherries, not pineapple. What the actual hell

*guiltily skips Michael and David* I definitely remember thinking when I watched this in 1999, that hal sparks tried his best but was really bad at faking gay chemistry. I mean, sure, the actor that played Dr. Dave probably didn't help butthe two of them are just like. nah

randomly: brian's taken down an alley by a rando right here, a more risky late-night hookup than he'd usually take (also more of a troll than he'd usually fuck). guess there's an alley to cruise by woody's? also: this would be an interesting moment for Something To Happen To Brian if you were doing an AU. (also, is that the same alley / corner where justin blew him in 3x10?)

brian drops by the lesbians' and when he asks "besides, when you think about it what do Mikey and I really have in common?" mel immediately pipes up with, "you're lives?" -- implicitly "you dumbass?" Also, both of them sort of feel sorry for Brian when he says "some things are better left broken". HowEVER, they also look like "can you fucking believe this" about him wanting to play scrabble.

(mel also clearly is looking at lindsay when he says "some things are better left broken", as in "are we at the point where we should give up?" spoilers, mel: yes.)

"how many guys hit on you a night?" "give or take, a hundred and twelve-- I don't know!" as much as brian likes his own company he also doesn't really seem to know how to be alone, here.'

(*skips the anti-gay emmett scene* I can't do it, it's too painful)

aww, sunshine!! first appearance of Justin this whole episode and he's bussing tables like a boss.

this tiny scene with Daphne and Justin is astoundingly good. She's sitting at the liberty diner, hanging out with him while he's on shift because he isn't good at making time for her but she is; she calls him conceited but not in a mean way (true facts, daph, true facts). He's all, "I could fuck practically anyone I wanted," and then when she asks, "So why don't you?", pointing out that he might claim to be All That, he's not taking advantage of it..... and boom, Brian walks in, and all she says is, "nevermind, the answer just walked in the door."

It's pretty clear here that Daphne is getting a little tired of Justin's preening-- and I might infer, also a bit tired of Justin's obsession with Brian? I mean, who could blame her, she's probably the one that's had to listen to it for hours and hours on end. *g* However, she still gives Brian a happy smile because she luvs him too.

So let's talk about how Justin says "what, you actually want to know?" when Brian asks how things are... and then his tentative, casual, "everything's fine". Because Justin doesn't believe brian means it and is just. waiting for him to be mean again. and obviously mid-season 1 Justin isn't really put off by Brian's meanness, he doesn't want to encourage it or give him an opening

And then! Justin's confused face at when Brian says "what are you doing tonight", his little excited, optimistic "really?" and Daphne's tiny little smile!

Then! Then justin realizes the truth, it's about Michael. also Daphne! Daphne is the one that says "you should get them to make up because you love Brian". And Brian's "stay the fuck out of it" at Justin's attempted interference is harsher / angrier than he was at Ted (peut etre because he's more concerned about justin getting involved? peut etre because he knows justin is way less likely to listen to him?)

ice cream kisses! justin is so good to him, cheering him up.

oh my god. "[so you pushed him away, and now he hates you]" "doesn't matter, so long as mikey's happy." and then a season later brian does exactly the same thing to justin. I wonder if Justin ever put the pieces together? brian pushed him toward ethan -- a man he thought would be better for him than he was, even if brian knew the relationship wouldn't last. which is exactly what he did with Michael and David.

okay, in my head I'm going to say yes, yes he did eventually put the pieces together-- note to self for the S4 rewrite, have michael point maybe once he learns about the cancer: that brian pushed justin away to prove his love in a way he's only ever done for michael. because he loves justin that much.

People quote that "I'm onto you" and how Justin stopped being able to read brian in S2 because of trauma. [these are random babble thoughts] and I think that's true, but I think equally true is the fact that the bashing removed justin's ability to believe, without evidence, of brian's love/care. he couldn't believe in it, and brian did nothing to reinforce it. so i'm not sure I'd say he "stopped being onto him", so much as that stopped being important. he saw through brian but it wasn't enough, because he'd changed too fundamentally.

*skips emmett* *skips michael and david*

Mel calling Ted to get brian tf out of their house, hahaha. I mean it's sad, and angsty that Lindsay and brian are talking -- randomly, how great is it that brian doesn't knee-jerk take lindsay's side, he points out that it might actually be lindsay's fault, forcing her to be objective and deal with it.

but mostly, lolol Mel being like "just get him the fuck out of our house!" Because in the ideal AU/canon, Mel might not hate Brian... but no matter what she definitely doesn't like him enough to want him around more than occasionally.

Brian: suggests relationship therapy. mel wants to go to relationship therapy! Lindsay wants to avoid everything. Even if Brian were bi/straight, him and lindsay would be a terrible couple

Randomly: I really love Tracey, I wish she was in more of the show. She's a good person and a much better friend to Michael than most of them.

you know, lindsay's "you expect all of my time and devotion"... there's a lot wrapped up in this, a lot about how her and michael are more poly / less devoted than Brian (and Justin), who's heart is settled on only one person.

Justin doing the right thing-- omfg. "he loves you. he'll never admit it but he does." Justin tells Michael this in 1x12 and a season later Michael repeats this VERY SAME LINE to Justin. "he doesn't believe in love." "you're the exception." and then justin tells him what brian did, to try and get him and david back together. Justin does what DEBBIE SHOULD HAVE. jesus, why is the seventeen year old the most emotionally mature?? (I mean, yeah, it's because he had two relatively loving parents who nurtured and protected him. But.)

"your ward tracked me down. insisted that I take it." "yeah well I'll have to punish him severely". note to self: if you ever do a S1 bdsm AU, maybe use this as the first forays into it?

(god, no wait, self, you are not writing a S1 D/s au.)

and now there's david trying, with michael. I wonder, if the actor for Dr Dave wouldn't have been a shit, would Dave become what Ben did become? meh, whatever, Ben works better because he's less controlling.

[yahoo-roto-arcade-blog]

Fantasy Football All-Avoid 2017: Dez Bryant one of six names I can't go for

A daunting schedule is one of many reasons to not trust Dez Bryant this fantasy season. (AP)

In a time dominated by shoulder pads, teased hair and this silky smooth Kangaroos connoisseur, Hall & Oates was the soundtrack.

Known for their unforgettable harmonies and catchy chords, the iconic duo cranked out hit after hit. Though their catalogue is remarkably deep, one groove stands out above the rest:

“I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do).”

From its hypnotic beat to its magical tones to its addicting chorus, the song is pure perfection. Every time it enters my music stream my no-so-angelic voice butchers it under boosted volume.

It’s so damn good.

[Now’s the time to sign up for Fantasy Football! Join for free]

With the classic now playing on loop in your head – You’re welcome – here are six players who will use your body and want your soul, but forget about them and say no go.

Channeling #TeamRaisins, below is my “No can do” list (AKA Your must gets, trolls) entering the heart of the fantasy draft season:

Derek Carr, Oak, QB (101.7 ADP, QB10) – Turn the key on Carr at his top-10 cost and chances are you’ll drive a lemon. Though he played smartly last year posting a 28:6 TD:INT split over 15 games, he finished QB16 in Yahoo leagues. Can the passer really take the next step and reach the 4,200-yard, 32-35 TD plateau? It’s doubtful. Because he isn’t a runner, a Matt Ryan level of passing production (Think 2016) is necessary for him to justify the QB10 perception, which I don’t foresee. His unattractive YPA history (’15: 7.0; ’16: 7.0), unsightly red-zone completion rates (48.3, QB25 in ’16) and only occasional tosses downfield (QB21 in deep-ball attempts in ’16) certainly don’t boost confidence.

In the end, he could very well generate 4,000 yards and 30 touchdowns this fall, but in today’s age of prolific passing that’s only modest fantasy production. Give me Ben Roethlisberger (111.6, QB11), Philip Rivers (119.8, QB15) or, heck, Tyrod Taylor (127.5, QB17) later on.

Todd Gurley, LAR, RB (21.8, RB10) – Excuse makers will point to Jeff Fisher, the offensive line, Jared Goff and the largely anemic environment for why Gurley sunk to Davey Jones’ locker in 2016. All are valid reasons, but the rusher isn’t blameless. Check out his advanced analytics. He averaged a hideous 2.9 evaded tackles per game (RB44), ranked No. 68 in juke rate and No. 61 in yards after contact per touch. Most disturbing, though he saw less than seven defenders in the box 44.2 percent of the time, he managed only 3.4 yards per carry in those situations. Eddie Lacy post-buffet gorge would’ve at least topped 4.0 yards per carry versus light boxes.

Sean McVay is a football savant and rising star, but he must climb Everest to simply make the offense respectable. Gurley is cemented as the early-down/short-yardage back and should earn more work in the pass game with Lance Dunbar sidelined, but I’m not buying the “big things” hype. He’s a year away from a completing a full 180. I doubt he surpasses 1,300 combined yards and 5-7 TDs this fall. Craziness? Follow the facts.

Lamar Miller, Hou, RB (28.9, RB12) – Not long ago, some rather boisterous imbecile with pronounced head runways clamored for fantasy drafters to take Miller top-five overall. Deceived by volume potential and a suitable offensive line, I had my reasons for the aggressive ranking. In hindsight, that was a gross miscalculation. Essentially, Miller was an overly bitter beer in 2016. Save for a handful of games, he left consumers largely bloated and unsatisfied. Juts look at his secondary profile. His yards after contact per touch (RB69), total evaded tackles (RB25) and juke rate (RB73) were completely uneventful. If not for a strenuous workload (69.5% opportunity share), he would’ve landed well outside the position’s top-20. It’s no wonder why Houston snagged D’Onte Foreman in Round 3 of the NFL Draft. If the rookie displays competency in pass pro and ball security, areas he feels improved in, he’ll slide into an 8-10 carry per game load and possibly more if Miller flounders, which is certainly possible if Tom Savage or Deshaun Watson can’t keep defenses honest early on.

Dez Bryant, Dal, WR (20.6, WR10) – Take your hot date to a Cheetos-themed restaurant and watch his/her’s displeasure. That disgust-filled look, my fellow fantasy freaks, is precisely what will adorn your face if you draft Dez. After three consecutive mammoth seasons from 2012-2014 (91-1311-14 average), the wideout’s star lost its luster in followups. Various setbacks and disappearing acts landed him outside the top-20 2015-2016. Due to his physical downsides, Dak Prescott’s unwillingness to force feed the former All-Pro and catch rate concerns (52.1, WR87 in ’16), you should spend your Round 2 pick on a more trustworthy receiver (e.g. Doug Baldwin).

Need another reason? Glance at Cowboys’ schedule. Nine of Dez’s 16 opponents, 56.3 percent of his fantasy matchups, feature elite corners, all of whom allowed a passer rating under 91.0 in 2016. Bone chilling. He’s a unique talent, but it will likely be a long season for the decorated wideout and Dallas. (UPDATE: Zeke Elliott’s six-game suspension only hinders Bryant’s value more given the likely increased attention he’ll receive.)

Sammy Watkins, Buf, WR (30.5, WR15) – I’ve clearly and repeatedly stated my disdain toward Buffalo’s alleged top target. Seemingly hobbling around on a peg leg, he’s a major injury liability and a player no longer locked into a favorable targets share. Increased competition from newbie Zay Jones and trusty rock Anquan Boldin arrow to a significant workload reduction (23.1% targets share in ’16; 20-21% in ’17?). And that assumes Watkins actually holds up over 16 or even 12 games. Toss in his ghastly catch percentage numbers from the past two seasons (outside WR top-40 each year) and expected assignment draws and it’s hard to take the leap of faith at his Round 3 ADP. Unless you have a Costco-sized Advil bottle handy, avoid the headache. (UPDATE: From the outhouse to a full-blown sewage plant, Watkins’ move to Los Angeles is a death knell. He’ll be lucky to finish inside the WR top-30. Read more here.)

Rob Gronkowski, NE, TE (20.1, TE1) – It’s amazing for a player who’s one violent gyration away from permanent shelving people continue to shell out big bucks to acquire his services. Why? Well, when on the field, Gronk is one of the game’s most bulletproof forces, no matter position. His giant size, Herculean strength and clean routes are menacing for any defender, particularly inside the red zone. Still, his 18.2 percent targets share from ’16 could decline with Brandin Cooks and Dwayne Allen on board and Tom Brady favorites Julian Edelman and James White hanging around. Tack on previous opportunities missed – he failed to suit up 19 times since 2012 (19.8% of games) – and the risk greatly enhances. If you want a tight end early, focus on Mr. Reliables Travis Kelce or Greg Olsen a round or three later, otherwise think RB/WR in Round 2 and wait on the position until at least your draft’s midpoint.

Hurl insulting javelins at Brad via Twitter @YahooNoise

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