#late march will be mine fr

[raplinenthusiasts]

BTS x Major Arcana

for @dearedwardteach 🖤 {cr. namuspromised / psd / cards}

[minminho0]

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◈You're Mine◈

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<Yandere!Pantalone x Reader>

-Fluff

Summary: You got sold to the 9th harbinger and now youre his cute little girlfriend that does everything he says♡.

Reader: Female

Warnings: Hitting and harrasment

A/n: brainrotting rn♡♡ been inlove with him lately so yee.

I hope you enjoy~!!

✴Masterlist✴

--

"How's my darling doing~? Mhm, has she been behaving?" The 9th harbinger mentioned while holding you in his arms.

He just came back and asked Childe to look after you while he was away, Not really the best choice but hes the only one available.

"Oh, shes been great~! Such a sweetheart♡ youre so lucky to have a girl like her!!"

"Ikr fr fr" (pls idk but i see him saying this words💀)

"Lets go now, darling~"

You hummed, nuzziling into his arms more.

"Bye bye, Y/n~, till next time!" He waved.

You waved back as you two turned around.

Getting into the luxurious car and ready to head back to the abode.

"Mhm, you've been a good girl according to Childe. Good girls deserve a reward, right? How about i take you shopping tomorrow, ill buy you everything you want" he smiled while looking down at you.

"That sounds nice.." You leaned on his arm as you slowly drift off to sleep.

You only woke up when you felt Pantalone carrying you to your shared room.

--

"Ohh it's been a while since I went shopping!! " you exclaimed.

"This is your reward for behaving lately" he smiled.

The whole day, you two spend time together like a date and, spending thousands without baiting an eye.

You two ended your day with a nice dinner at an expensive restaurant with a good view.

"I really enjoyed spending time with you today..(and your money) I hope we get days like this more"

"You will experience days like this frequently aslong as you behave and act like a good girl you are♡"

"Mhm!" You hummed while chewing your food.

--

"Ah! Who are you and what are you doing!? " you struggled to fight back as a man hugs you so tight.

"Come one, baby~ Just one night, I promise I'll make you feel good~" an obviously drunk guy spoke to your ear.

"No! Let me go please! " you squirmed at the man's arms.

"Tch stop struggling, lady!"

You manage to escape his tight grip but before you can run off, he suddenly pulled your hair which made you cry out.

"Aghh!" You gripped your hair to try and make him let go but it didn't work, he was about to hit you at your face, you shut your eyes tight waiting for the blow.

"Ahh! " you screamed, letting go of your hair and held the part of your face where he hit you a few seconds ago. You started to tear up as he hit you multiple times.

"That's what you get! " he smirked as he still has a tight grip at your hair. Before he can hit you again, he suddenly felt a sudden sting at the back of his neck resulting on him letting go of your hair and collapsing to the ground.

"Take him to the basement" he ordered his underling.

"Yes, sir!" The underling quickly went to work.

You felt arms slowly wrap around you, those familiar arms, that familiar scent..

"P-pantalone? " your voice barely a whisper.

"Shh, I'm here don't worry. "

"It hurts.. "

"Don't worry darling the paramedics are on their way" he nuzzled you in his arms, comforting you.

"Pantalone? "

"Hm? "

"I.. I love you"

..

"... I- I love you too, sweetheart" he said in a comforting tone as he kissed your forehead.

--

✻Bonus part!

Pantalone slowly closed the door to your room making sure that you won't wake up.

He headed down the basement together with his underling.

"What should we do to him, sir? "

"I-"

"PLEASE LET ME GO! I'LL NEVER DO IT EVER AGAIN PLEASE! "

Slowly getting irritated for being cutted off but still stayed looking unbothered.

"Tch. Send him to Dottore, I have no use of him as he only inflicted harm"

"Yes, sir" they bowed

--

Dottore: *happy noises* yay!

--

I hope you enjoyed it!!!

-March 16, 2023

[impulsetheories]

hey y'all! this is peyton [sh/th, 21+, cst—also the mun of selena, dylan, mouse & dabin] and i'm stoked to be here with an older idol-verse character of mine, lee hyeon. he's just some dude who decided he wanted to be a rapper one day and never looked back. you can view his stats here, his pinterest here & read all about him under the cut.

born november 18, 2002, lee hyeon is the only son to a catholic priest & a schoolteacher :~) talk about a set-up for failure…

the earliest chunk of his life is fine—obviously his parents are more than willing to take care of a baby, but the older he gets (and the busier THEY get), hyeon’s pretty much left to his own devices. as a toddler, his parents take turns pushing juice boxes into his hands and making sure he’s occupied by the tv; by the time he’s ~12ish, it’s a “here’s ₩10,000 to get some food after school, we’ll be home late so don’t wait up” type of deal probably 4/5 nights a week.

he doesn’t care, really; or at least he doesn’t feel like he does @ the time. he has some friends that he’s really close to, so he fills up his time with those friends rather than worrying about his parents—until he can’t anymore. by the time he’s turning into an angsty teenager, he thinks a lot about his family situation & how his dad is out there “serving the community” but failing to serve his family and how his mom wouldn’t know his favorite movie if asked, like… these things chip away at a person!!!

it doesn’t help that his parents kind of have a “business” r/s; not really in love like they were once upon a time, just staying together because it’s easy (and it would be shameful for a priest to divorce—plus, in the catholic church, he wouldn’t be allowed to remarry so long as he stayed a priest) but anyways… hyeon didn’t have a good example of filial OR romantic love in his early life, which resulted in him being emotionally unavailable and having zero respect for his parents 🤙 oh yeah!

his life is like this: church services on sunday / pretty much no interaction with his parents any other day of the week unless it’s thru sticky-note messages around the house / go to school half the time, skip the other half / waste time with his four best friends / play league of legends all night / daydream of being a rapper like… obviously a very fulfilling life

anyway i’m really not trying to make y’all learn every minute detail of hyeon’s life story here so i’ll say tl;dr he got really into rap/making beats around 13/14ish, started a yt channel w his friends at 15, had a joke song go viral on yt that same year which kind of made him realize how starved for attention he was/how much he really WANTED to rap??!? / applied and got onto season 3 of high school rapper at 16, placed 3rd, signed with canvas labs the next year and consequently dropped out of high school to focus on music/training and ultimately severed his ties with his parents like… he obviously didn’t have time for church anymore/the desire to go and him turning his back on the catholic church AND dropping out of school??!? spitting on everything his parents stand for fr fr

worked part-time as a mechanic’s assistant while he was training, up until newave started prepping for debut—in this time, he got really into cars, got his driver’s license & then got into racing; super into racing go-karts!!! he still does some side work for his former boss from time to time for pocket cash: uses this money to support his love for designer clothes mostly or buy shit for his own car, which is a 2008 mitsubishi eclipse spyder that his former boss gifted to him (was a piece of shit at the time, required extensive work and is still a pain in the ass unfortunately)

as of march 2024, is a (somewhat) newly debuted idol—does not take it particularly seriously, and it’s not his career end-goal. ultimately he wants to produce a bunch of music for the group (and potentially for other groups), get rich off royalties, drop the group and return to the “real” rap/music scene… u know how it goes… selfish selfish man!

all in all hyeon is literally just some guy with a chip on his shoulder. he views other people as disposable, so he doesn’t care to get particularly close to anyone—but even if he does, he’s a pro when it comes to burning bridges & never looking back. if you have nothing to offer, hyeon has no interest; and if he has no interest, he won’t fake it. a lot of this is just a result of him having to be independent from a young age & (ideally) something he will grow out of in time :~) very hot and cold type of dude: might be nice to you, might not, and it’s always up in the air as to what side of him you’ll get 🤷‍♂️ but even at his nicest, he’s pretty rough around the edges—tough love is his speciality!!! will do anything for a laugh (or just for attention lbr), bitches & complains constantly but will still do what’s asked/expected of him, shows that he cares in quiet ways like carrying your bags/luggage or ordering a large fry for u instead of the regular like… he will not be caught dead doing any sappy/sentimental shit but if you mean anything to him he’ll never forget a thing u say…. he’s a villain fr but maybe he can still be redeemed.

other trivia: was a smoker for about 6 years, recently switched to vaping but is trying to quit completely because It’s Unbecoming Of An Idol (re: management caught him a few too many times) / was active in the underground rap scene for a little bit before he joined canvas labs, was never well-known ‘cause u know… he was like 17… but he went by the name sweendakk and still has a soundcloud profile under that name / as a celebrity, has a very loud, goofy, rambunctious & mischievous persona—all of his shit-talking and impulsivity is sanded down into something endearing (or at least halfway palatable) for the sake of selling an image; kind of whiplash when you meet him irl and he’s really just a jackass / king of pacing. catch him furiously walking back and forth at your local grocery store / used to be really into weight-training, currently is on more of a cardio kick—regardless, he’s a healthy guy & much stronger than he looks / catholic guilt but i’m sure you saw that coming / dishonest, will tell you a blatant lie straight to your face KNOWING that you know it’s not true. a shameless man with not much to lose. aiming to change that. there we go…

plot ideas

head’s up that i love extensive plotting—this is not at all a requirement & i’m also down to just jump into a base idea and see where it goes!!! but!!! if you’re like me and you love to yap about every little detail!!! i will never tell you no!!! anyways…

naturally, one of his close friends from before he was an idol. ideally this would be someone born around '00 to '03 who was generally up to no good as a kid/teenager: hyeon was shit at showing it, but he lovvvveddd this person and still thinks fondly of them despite having cut them (and the rest of the friend group) off when he signed with canvas labs. thinking he might be reaching out to them again soon, so let's hope they haven't changed their number...

that one member of hi-fi he’s trying to rizz up ‘cause no way you’re gonna have hyeon living right beside a girl group and not expect him to cause problems… i’m open to discuss any/all details of their dynamic, but my idea for this is that he’s initially interested in her for very shallow reasons but ultimately she ends up becoming a muse for him (causing him to write songs such as this and this that he shares with her, but doesn’t actually release until much much later in his career when he ought to be leaving her name out of his mouth) and is someone he has every element of a relationship with without actually dating her—but in these early days of newave & hi-fi, there’s still an understanding within the groups that she’s “hyeon’s girl” but it never actually becomes something and in the end she cuts it off ‘cause hyeon can’t/won’t commit to her… wasting this poor girl’s time fr fr... all i'm saying is we're at the perfect time of the year for them to have a summer fling

various meet uglies because hyeon's a menace to society. your muse has the same workout schedule as hyeon & he's sick and tired of them hogging the one (1) working treadmill, your muse is also a celebrity (preferably someone with a higher profile than newave) and hyeon mistakes them for an employee at this appliance store where he was sent to buy a new microwave for the dorm, you bring your car in on the one day a month hyeon happens to be helping out at this mechanic shop and no way you've got an idol telling you your car is a piece of shit (as if you don't know that already) (is this a fever dream?), your muse is buying laxatives or lice shampoo or some other embarrassing item and hyeon's trying to rizz them up when they really just don't want to be noticed at all, alternatively hyeon's trying to rizz your muse up while HE'S buying something embarrassing and they can't take him seriously because of it, etc etc etc... if you have any ridiculous ideas PLEASSSE send them my way! i love these types of things!

i already know hyeon's putting those nda's to work... your muse is/was a fan so hyeon had a relatively easy time pulling them, talked a bunch of shit about how they couldn't reach out to him anymore/needed to delete his number but he's the obsessed one now (never meet your idols)

hyeon thought he could outdrink your muse but he's never been more wrong in his life. he wakes up with the worst hangover he's ever had and a text from an unsaved number saying some shit like "don't forget - you owe me a yacht"

anything... i'm a lover of strange & unusual plots, silly plots, intense plots, etc etc... pleassseee give me whatever u got!

[homosexualcitron]

ART SUMMARY STUFF AND RAMBLE

I HAVEN'T POSTED MY LAST THREE MONTHS ART YET but i wanted to show my summaries.. so take this (yeah i'm late with my art posting schedule don't mind it.. people who support me on Kofi can see all my art already tho!! (some more ramble + 2022 summary below)

I did an oc and fanart ver (i didn't have any actual illust for february for my fanart ver lol sorry.. i started drawing fanart regularly only since april/may of this year!)

I've never been so happy with an art year of mine.. for my oc ver, i don't like anymore the january and february art but outside of that i'm still proud of everything! And even if i'm still happy with my march/april ect art, i think i improved a lot since that, i learnt so much!! Especially with my coloring :)

And this is my 2022 one.. fr my art changed sm compared to previous year and idk how but im super proud!! this has been my best art year so far :))

I said good bye to my very simple coloring style and also to my consistent process and i have so much more fun.. I hope next year will be the same!! I don't think i can have such a big improvement again but i hope i'll keep experimenting stuff and learning and have fun!

[ryanthedemiboy]

The intro to Project 2025 is worth reading for everyone, because it says a lot about everything.

In particular, it shows what we're up against, who we're up against, and why.

This is taken directly from the Project 2025 Mandate For Leadership pdf from the Project 2025 website. Paragraph breaks mine, added for accessibility. Bolding also mine.

A NOTE ON “PROJECT 2025” We want you! The 2025 Presidential Transition Project is the conservative movement’s unified effort to be ready for the next conservative Administration to govern at 12:00 noon, January 20, 2025. Welcome to the mission. By opening this book, you are now a part of it. Indeed, one set of eyes reading these passages will be those of the 47th President of the United States, and we hope every other reader will join in making the incoming Administration a success. History teaches that a President’s power to implement an agenda is at its apex during the Administration’s opening days. To execute requires a well-conceived, coordinated, unified plan and a trained and committed cadre of personnel to implement it. In recent election cycles, presidential candidates normally began transition planning in the late spring of election year or even after the party’s nomination was secured. That is too late. The federal government’s complexity and growth advance at a seemingly logarithmic rate every four years. For conservatives to have a fighting chance to take on the Administrative State and reform our federal government, the work must start now. The entirety of this effort is to support the next conservative President, whoever he or she may be. In the winter of 1980, the fledging Heritage Foundation handed to President-elect Ronald Reagan the inaugural Mandate for Leadership. This collective work by conservative thought leaders and former government hands—most of whom were not part of Heritage—set out policy prescriptions, agency by agency for the incoming President. The book literally put the conservative movement and Reagan on the same page, and the revolution that followed might never have been, save for this band of committed and volunteer activists. With this volume, we have gone back to the future—and then some. It’s not 1980. In 2023, the game has changed. The long march of cultural Marxism through our institutions has come to pass. The federal government is a behemoth, weaponized against American citizens and conservative values, with freedom and liberty under siege as never before. The task at hand to reverse this tide and restore our Republic to its original moorings is too great for any one conservative policy shop to spearhead. It requires the collective action of our movement. With the quickening approach of January 2025, we have two years and one chance to get it right. Project 2025 is more than 50 (and growing) of the nation’s leading conservative organizations joining forces to prepare and seize the day. The axiom goes “personnel is policy,” and we need a new generation of Americans to answer the call and come to serve. This book is functionally an invitation for you the reader—Mr. Smith, Mrs. Smith, and Ms. Smith—to come to Washington or support those who can. Our goal is to assemble an army of aligned, vetted, trained, and prepared conservatives to go to work on Day One to deconstruct the Administrative State.

The project is built on four pillars. l Pillar I—this volume—puts in one place a consensus view of how major federal agencies must be governed and where disagreement exists brackets out these differences for the next President to choose a path. l Pillar II is a personnel database that allows candidates to build their own professional profiles and our coalition members to review and voice their recommendations. These recommendations will then be collated and shared with the President-elect’s team, greatly streamlining the appointment process. l Pillar III is the Presidential Administration Academy, an online educational system taught by experts from our coalition. For the newcomer, this will explain how the government functions and how to function in government. For the experienced, we will host in-person seminars with advanced training and set the bar for what is expected of senior leadership. l In Pillar IV—the Playbook—we are forming agency teams and drafting transition plans to move out upon the President’s utterance of “so help me God.” As Americans living at the approach of our nation’s 250th birthday, we have been given much. As conservatives, we are as much required to steward this precious heritage for the next generation. On behalf of our coalition partners, we thank you and invite you to come join with us at project2025.org. Paul Dans Director, Project 2025

[salaimoi]

i wave goodbye to the end of beginning ˚. ✦.˳· ⋆.✧̣̇˚.

pairing: gojo satoru x fem reader sypnosis: he wasn’t what you desired anymore, but he couldn’t let you go. months passed since your bitter breakup, and yet, he didn’t stop loving you for a second. cw: slow burn. angst for the sake of angst. falling out of love for no reason fr. unrequited love. alcohol consumption (gojo only) no happy ending me thinks, or maybe somewhat. who knows word count: 3.1k

author's notes: i’m mourning gojo and so should you! so here’s a piece of an angsty fic that’s been rotting, unfinished, in my drafts since march 29. i was only gonna post a sneak peek of this and suddenly the holy spirit took over me and drove me to finally finish it??? IF U EVER READ ANYTHING OF MINE PLEASE LET IT BE THIS😭😭i’m so in love with the reader crying scene u don’t get it. the metaphors?! i outdid myself. i am so terrified of the deep ocean, and the fact that i find myself writing about it during angsty hours says a lot about me. i can’t emphasize how much i adore this fic. i just love angst sm idkidkidk

also, this is my first time attempting angst for the sake of angst as well as slow burn (?) so idk if i’ll ever come back to this. not beta read.

Time and again, this mahogany dining table was the scene of numerous heartwarming interactions – mementos Satoru wouldn’t be able to replicate a second time, even if he spent a thousand lifetimes trying to do so. Sure, it was more than easy to recreate the scene, but not the genuine warmth the two of you felt in that moment. He could go to great lengths, such as hand-crafting every single piece of furniture in the room that bore witness – carving and polishing wood until his palms became more splinters than skin. But even then, he wouldn’t come close to reliving any of those gratifying sentiments from so long ago.

All the shared laughter at his trivial attempts at comedy had caught up to you; your smiles were forced lately, and he could tell. He possessed that diamond-blue, six-eyed gaze which consistently made you feel as if he could undeniably read your thoughts, but that wasn’t the case. Even a blind person could discern the unforeseen shift in your comportment toward him, and due to this, Satoru questioned himself relentlessly. 

What if he’d said something to offend you? What if he left the toilet seat up one too many times for your liking? What if he began snoring in bed but you were too considerate to say anything about it? What if he forgot a special date? What if he tried to offer you something you were allergic to? 

What if he stopped being the love of your life...? 

It seemed as if, in a fraction of a second, all the enjoyment you once felt had deserted you, and with it, your love for him. Had you forgotten how happy you were by his side all in the spawn of a few hours, or was this the universe’s twisted interpretation of a joke?

Even if it was, you weren’t laughing.

You told yourself it was fine, that it was a mere wave of sadness that would soon pass, but instead the harmless tide you paid no mind to had brutally swept your body into a sea of despair. Before you could process your predicament, the shoreline was well out of sight – blurring with the deep blue expanse of the oceanic abyss that enveloped your mind.

The longer you fought to stay afloat, the clearer the path became for the briny water to replace the oxygen in your lungs, giving you no choice but to drown as everything around you became a pitch-black, bottomless pit – devoid of any sense of worry for you. 

It was rather often that you were accused of abandoning the ship when things got bad, and yet, here you were – submerging along with it.  

How ironic.

Even he couldn’t save you now. The solace his mere presence bestowed upon you when you needed it most wasn’t there anymore. There was no more capability of initiating conversations with him when you were the only other person in the room, causing the once-upbeat and soothing environment to give way to one of silence and uncertainty; it was as thick as syrup.

Syrup. The sugary taste of it from when you consumed it during breakfast was all but replaced by a repugnant, sour one in your mouth. A persistent echo of those homemade fluffy pancakes you had turned down remained, even though he had made them just for you — his precious girl. 

You insisted you would eat later – an obvious white lie to mask your despondency and lack of appetite – but he spoon-fed you, because in his own words, “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I allow my girlfriend to starve? No, that won’t do. I’ll take care of you even after I've exhaled my last breath.”

“And how would you do that if you’re no longer breathing, genius?” you asked, a wilting smile on your face that you had put on display for him. 

“Well, my dear," he retorts with a smug grin. "I've always believed that love has a way of transcending the boundaries of life and death. And as luck would have it, our love transcends the mortal realm. I will always be with you, in spirit if not in flesh.” he smiles, a twinkle of amusement behind his sapphire eyes before continuing.

“Once I've moved on to the afterlife, I'll find a way to send you sweet nothings and a box of chocolates from beyond the grave. Consider it an eternal gift.”

He declares in a complacent tone as he lounges back in his chair, head resting comfortably on the back of his hands. 

"But in all seriousness," he then adds, his tone becoming more genuine, "I'll do everything in my power to ensure you're taken care of – even if it means making sure my eternal resting place has a Wi-Fi connection for you to receive my messages.” 

Your thoughts were entirely silenced in that moment; white noise overtook the black space within your mind. How had he managed to say such heartfelt words as if they were second nature? This early in the morning, nonetheless.

Would he actually…?

You knew he would.

"But let’s not dwell on my demise just yet,” his words bring you back to the present conversation. “Until the day comes, I promise to make the most of our time together. Besides, knowing me, I’d probably haunt you just to ensure you have someone annoying to keep you company."

He finally remarked, going back to stuffing your face with the soggy pancakes that had been sitting in syrup for too long. 

And you were cognizant of the fact that you alone were privy to this side of Satoru Gojo: the mushy, gentle one who tended to his companion as if it were a god-given mandate. 

To the public, he was a stoic, impervious character who had no dread of others. To you, he was far more vulnerable than he would ever confess. 

But that wasn’t nearly enough to deter you from taking the disheartening decision made later that day.

“I can’t stay here anymore.” austere words you didn’t wish to speak, but needed to, in order to provide some semblance of closure for the both of you. “I can’t love you anymore.” 

A hushed supplication could be heard flying across the room at the speed of light once your hand reached out to turn the bitterly cold door knob, hitting against the back of your head – identical to an equally-cold shower.

“Please don’t leave me,” he immediately protested weakly. 

He approached you with cautious strides, every step causing fragmentation in his all-too-frail emotional state. Even if it was ephemeral, the mutual love between the two of you had already left a blazing watermark on his soul. His feelings for you transcended the nagging rationality that bound his mind, defying all sensible objections he had on the matter of permitting you to depart from his life. Having failed to quell the ardor her felt, it persisted apodictically until he was an arm’s length from your frame. 

And that was exactly it – the same frigid sensation your hand clinged onto emulated the one you felt in your wretched heart the moment he approached you. You’d already turned your back on him and expressed every afflicting anguish that tormented your soul, so why plead now? Now – when you already made the conscious decision to leave him behind. 

Tears neither you nor he could hold back began flowing down your features. A familiar hand lifted towards your cheek soon after, wiping the salty residue off your delicate face with his thumb. 

He never ceased to remind you how gorgeous you were when you cried, frankly because the manner in which your wispy eyelashes retained the saltine tears in your eyes resembled the delicate surface of a tranquil pond.

Every tear you shed would become the gentle water that tickled his skin as his body wafted about in your iris – an eternal reservoir he’d swim in without tiring if the heavens so permitted it.

However, this occasion differed from the rest; the once gentle waters he yearned to lay in became calamitous waves, which may lure him to the ocean’s most profound recesses in the blink of an eye – your blink of an eye. He would usually stay afloat among that innocent gaze of yours, but tonight it was ruthlessly drowning him with no lifeline in sight. 

Even after he implored that your crying would come to a halt, more pungent teardrops bled onto his fingers. An eroding desperation flowed through you, aching to hold onto something, anything, in order to cease the mental decay within your subconscious.

Thus, your own hand extended to hold his against your cheek, a glacial embrace overpowering the warmth of his skin; an identical chill tickled his spine when he absorbed the crispness of your graze, but he paid it no mind.

“Not you too…anyone but you,” he pleaded in a low voice, causing more accursed tears of yours to cascade mercilessly as he embraced you in an endeavor to sway your decision. His voice was gentle and soothing, mimicking a caress you’d never experience a second time. 

“I’m sorry.” you muttered.

Being unable to bring yourself to meet the sapphire eyes that imitated a midwinter sky so perfectly, your head lay low; the only thing visible to him was the top of it. 

It was unclear what you were sorry about. Perhaps you were sorry that you had to leave him behind. Or perhaps you were apologizing to yourself that he was no longer what you thought you wanted with every fiber in your body.

You desired more in this life, and on your game board, he wasn’t a playing piece who could frolic alongside you. It wasn’t because you didn’t fancy his company, rather it was the fact that his own strategy of playing was one that did not catch your eye anymore; it had become a monotonous rehearsal. Every move came to be a discernible one to you – even before he picked up his pawn, causing you to lose interest in the entire game itself.

That realization alone shattered his entire world.

Satoru’s head lay low all throughout as he sat on a wooden stool amidst the empty bar. It was 2 a.m. and he needed to go home, but why should he?

You wouldn’t be there to greet him – or even scold him for that matter. 

Colorless, almost lifeless, marbles stared vacantly at the picture of you on his lock screen; he consistently spoke to your picture as if he were having a conversation with it. At this point in time, it had become routine. Maybe one of these days the frozen-in-time frame would speak back to him for once?

Just once.

Where had that tender smile he’d fallen in love with gone?

Where had you gone?

On a nightly basis, the same detestable conversation from that night redounded from one end of Satoru’s mind to the other incessantly – akin to a religiously recited sermon. 

It was impractical to disregard the harsh reality that sooner or later every cherished individual he held dear to his heart willingly departed from his life – Suguru, and now you. 

If it entailed becoming a regular person, he’d give his life as a sorcerer to ensure the permanent presence of at least one individual in his life. Where was the value of possessing such prowess when one’s vulnerability in the realm of love was inescapable? 

What twisted transaction was that?

He'd even willingly forsake his divinely bestowed talents for the purpose of altering the passage of time, thereby reverting to a period where your presence was far from being nothing more than a diminishing recollection. 

Ijichi had been dealing with this side of his boss for months on end. Regardless of his efforts to encourage Gojo to put an end to this melancholic act of his, he never managed to convince him to do so. Ijichi attempted the compassionate approach, but to no avail. His optimism and patience were dwindling, fearing that this would continue on for eternity – and perhaps it would’ve if he hadn’t stepped in.

This had to end sooner or later, and for everyone involved’s sake, it had to be the former. So tonight, he opted for a sterner, and perhaps more unforgiving, path.

Your car was parked out front of the bar Ijichi had sent you the address to – forehead pressed against the steering wheel as an audible, exhausted sigh escaped your mouth. It was late and you knew this was nothing short of inane behavior. You weren’t doing this for you; you had to remind yourself that you were doing it for him, with the hope that he would ultimately find someone who would be there for him in a way that you were unable to. 

Weary, almost weak, legs lead you to enter the desolate bar. A knife prods at your chest when your eyes dart over to where Gojo was. He kept his head lowered; the only part of him you could clearly see from this angle was his back.

An overwhelming sea of emotions plagued your mind when you witnessed him in such a state. You could feel the knives twist the longer you stared at the back of his fluffy white locks. 

Months had passed since your split, and you realized Satoru’s grief and distress were indeed as dire as his assistant conveyed to you during the phone conversation. 

A tap on his shoulder was accompanied by a sweet voice that had vanished into the depths of his consciousness a long time ago. Perhaps because he didn't wish to recall the agonizing memories that came with your voice, or perhaps because he needed to maintain a pristine, untouched image of you in his psyche.

As you occupy a vacant stool one seat away from him, your attention is drawn to the half empty vodka bottle in his grasp. 

“You know, I talked to your therapist. He said you were getting sober.” 

What you said held true, except you didn’t hear it from his therapist directly; Ijichi was the one who was initially informed about that, and being the caring person he was, he relayed the details to you. Mostly because he felt as if, deep down, you still wanted to know about Gojo’s well-being.

"What are you doing here drowning yourself in alcohol?" you added, seemingly concerned for your ex-boyfriend.

He looked up at you, his eyes red and bleary from the drink. His body froze. Blue pupils dilated in a mixture of shock and happiness. It really was you. Had you come back for him after all this time? 

"What does it look like I’m doing?" he muttered, his voice bitter and angry.

Satoru detested alcohol; it always interfered with his abilities, and being the strongest meant being ready whenever – no questions asked.  After your departure, though, he grew fond of the bitter, burning feeling the liquid provided. That sweet poison was the sole substance capable of muffling the eternal pessimism plaguing his mind.

You approached him cautiously, taking the bottle from his hands and setting it aside. "Come on," you said firmly, "we need to get you home."

He wasted no time to speak what was really on his mind. Even if it was for a mere second, he had felt the sensation of your touch once more. That was more than he needed to vocalize the thoughts that tormented his sanity. Either that, or it was the alcohol he had consumed speaking. 

“Why won’t you love me back?” His words slurred, being far too drunk to care, though. 

“…You’re drunk, let’s get you home.”

“What home? The one I bought for us that YOU left me all alone in?” he deadpans, the silence following being as deafening as a scream.

Ouch. 

“My room feels so empty if you’re not there. I see your precious face and I don't know what to do.” His expression dampens with anguish before he continues – somewhat unclearly, ”whatever I do, I cam’t fubking get you out of my head amd it’s ruining me.” 

“I told you to move on a million times every time you drunk dialed me, Satoru.” 

“If that’s what you wanted, why did you continue to pick up the call?” He retaliates, eyes glazed with forbidden tears on the verge of cascading against his pale skin.

You knew perfectly well why. He knew perfectly well why. Everyone Satoru vented to about you knew why, so why continue to deny it? 

Attempting to keep your temper in check, you take a deep breath, eyes darting back and forth between the door and him. It was more than easy to run away from your problems, like you always did. But not this time.

You owed it to him to at least finally stick around long enough when things got tough. You wouldn’t put up an invisible wall between the two of you anymore, not today. 

You sigh, taking the empty seat right next to him. 

“We can’t go back to how things were. We broke up, remember?” 

“I know,” he grumbles, taking a sip of his beverage. He shook his head, his drunken state making it almost impossible to focus his thoughts or his vision. “But maybe drinking will make me forget that we ever did. Maybe tonight I can pretend we’re still together,” his voice and face etched with sorrow.

His voice trailed off, followed by another long sip of his drink. 

“You need to quit drinking yourself into a stupor, Satoru. This isn’t healthy,” you responded, voice softening out of concern. 

His eyes still clouded with alcohol, he looks at you before speaking. “I don’t know how to move on.” He admitted, voice barely audible. “I don’t know how to live without you. I loved you…and I still do.”

He silently weeps once and for all, crumbling before the love of his life. You didn’t know what else to say, so you settled on simply allowing his head to rest on your shoulder; you always were his favorite shoulder to cry on, after all. Wrapping an arm around him, you pet his head as you lull him. Instinctively, he envelops you into a warm embrace, face burying itself deeper into your chest. 

As he continued to sob like a baby, the sorcerer allowed his emotions to flow freely – months of bottling them up into liquor bottles had finally caught up to him. 

He was beyond ecstatic underneath all the melancholy; not only had you allowed him to get closer to you, but even went as far as hugging him too. He couldn't believe it. Just a few moments ago, you were talking about forcing him to move on, but now – you were actually back in his arms, where you belonged.

He felt relieved for a moment, almost to the point where he wasn't thinking properly anymore. You were finally back in his arms, where you needed to be; he refused to let go.

It felt like a fever dream, but this was all he needed. Even if you’re gone, morning come, he’ll live in this moment for the rest of eternity. 

[achilles-came-down]

I posted 18,803 times in 2022

57 posts created (0%)

18,746 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@rainbowchibbit

@incorrect-hs-quotes

@citricacidprince

@catboymoments

@dokkaebidyke

I tagged 311 of my posts in 2022

#undertale - 34 posts

#ut fankid - 30 posts

#utkidtember - 27 posts

#queued - 17 posts

#alphyne - 10 posts

#soriel - 9 posts

#friskid - 8 posts

#papyton - 5 posts

#sansby - 5 posts

#homestuck - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#the amount of ppl who are uplifted more by 'disabled ppl who couldn't walk now walk' than 'ppl told they probably wouldn't live did'

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I drew my (revived) Chara with @askthedreemurr-fontfamily 's Chara :)

17 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

#4

Shows up late to the meme with this

22 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

#3

Its them the home stucked

Happy 413!

54 notes - Posted April 13, 2022

#2

This kinda old drawing of mine blew up recently so i remade it !

The Great Steven Authority (v3)

WD!Steven by @ask-whitepearl-and-steven/@thechekhov

BD!Steven by @blue-diamond-steven

YD!Steven by @yellow-diamond-steven

253 notes - Posted April 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Drew this quote from @incorrect-hs-quotes

266 notes - Posted March 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[kattestrophe]

Other highlights from "Katte - Ein Schauspiel in fünf Akten" in the order that I think of them

That time when "joyful marching band music" can be heard outside during Katte's questioning and he starts sobbing because "I want to be in the army agaaaaaaain". The same dude who tried to just not return from his vacation just a year prior.

This is the same situatuion where he calls for a duel between him and Mylius and forgets he doesn't have a sword anymore btw

He's also just... constantly sassing Mylius. "Did you give your signet to the Princess so she could change the letters and reseal the box?" "Find out yourself, that's your job?" "Where's your signet?" "Where's last year's snow!?" / "... if we had the Princess and Katte meet." "Herr von Katte, if you please, you paper-noble!"

The part where he's in love with Wilhelmine. Again.

Which results in the conversation "No, I can't leave Berlin, all of the King's wrath would come down onto the Crown Prince and you! However! If you fled WITH me, I would go!" because fuck Fritz, I guess :'D

The part where he reminisces about how he really is a pretty cool dude and nobody else could be a better friend to Fritz and when Mine calls him vain he says "What? No, I'm ugly as sin! Still pretty cool though."

The part where he's crying to Wilhelmine that the fact that Fritz and FW hate each other is tearing his heart apart because he loves them both so much and they're both so right

Fritz is not in this too often (less than anyone else, honestly), but when he is, he is... pretty dumb. Like... Katte and Mine beg him to please not flee before they reach Wesel because it won't be safe and he's like "You want to imprison me now like my father did before?? I won't promise you shit??" I mean... Fritz did some stupid shit during the actual escape but that scene just felt awfully dumb.

FW: "Katte!" Katte: "Your Majesty!" FW: "You are the son of my high ranking officer von Katte and the grandson of my other high ranking official von Wartensleben!?" Katte: "Yes!" Jana, confused: "Why are you asking him this like you don't know who he is while also obviously knowing who he is!?"

Fritz is also very suprised and hurt that Katte won't be his page on the journey to the Rhine. It's not like Katte has a different job entirely.

All of the dialogues read like a comedy (which is not ideal for a tragedy), honestly, I am waiting for the laugh tracks

Fr. v. Kamecke: "The phantom noises that we heard align perfectly with the time the Crown Prince was arrested! He visited us as a ghost at that point!" Wilhelmine: "Seems awfully rude of my brother to disturb us at such a late hour. It is not like him to make noise."

For my german followers: Katte telling the siblings about the newest developments in the English marriage disaster reads a lot like "Nein!" "Doch!" "Oooh!"

Sophie Dorothea is, for some reason, super into Katte. Like, talking to FW about how great he is levels of into him.

Honestly, everyone is super into Katte

Even Katte

Wilhelmine kisses Fr. v. Sonsfeld at some point and she reacts by saying "Oh no, Princess, not out in public, what if anyone saw" which really made them sound like secret lesbians and it is never adressed again

Just like Katte's "You know of my relationship with the Crown Prince"-bit that Wilhelmine reacted to with "a pained movement"

Sophie Dorothea is all for Mine marrying Fritz of Bayreuth in order to help Fritz the Crown Prince and is only worried for her happiness. Lol, sure.

Katte's friend Holtzendorff appears. He is probably the only speaking role with less stage time than Fritz.

I have not read the final act yet, i'll keep you updated

[clvmtines]

welcome aboard, clementine martinez, student #2. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like alexa demie? according to our records, you hail from florida, usa, prefer she / her pronouns, are a cis woman, and are here to study creative writing. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your online lottery win — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + charming, + free-spirited, but also - restive. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the billiards room. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a casino chip carried around for luck from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hi friends! i’m very excited to be here. i’m jay (est, she/her) n i used to play astrid nyland a few months ago if anyone remembers bt i had to leave for personal reasons. i’m so glad to be back now that i hve life sorted and some free time for summer break <3 read on for some details abt this new muse of mine, clementine. 

01. biography !

so ! clementine was born in florida. & yes, her real name is clementine. her mom thot it was the cutest name idea ever. clementine mostly goes by clem. she comes from the town [redacted] in florida bcoz i am too lazy to look up a specific town <3 but alas ! it was swampy and humid and she lived in a trailer park. 

her parents got knocked up at nineteen. clem was born nine months after a particularly wild 1999 fourth of july. her birthday is march 26th and she’s an aries. 

(TW: addiction, child injury) clem’s dad was a gambling addict and petty criminal—he wld steal credit cards n whatnot. he wld gamble away diaper money n it would cause constant fighting until her dad finally left. her mom took this very hard n began drinking a bit too often, leaving clem to to make cereal for dinner n fend for herself. once clem tried to make hot dogs on the stove and spilled boiling water on herself. got a p bad burn on her arm/shoulder and still has a big scar.

the soundtrack of her childhood was cicadas buzzing and stray dogs barking. the sizzle and pop of natty light cans. turning up her ipod to max volume to drown out the sounds of her mother fighting with her new boyfriend.

throughout her upbringing, clem’s dad was always in and out of the picture. he’d blow into town when he hit it big. he’d take her on these little “adventures” like staying in a motel 6 n renting movies at block buster n ordering good pizza nt the dominos shit she ate with her mom lol. ofc he was charging it all to someone’s stolen credit card. he’d always promise to, like, take clem away. n clem was a daddy’s girl so she believed him. the last time it happened was her h.s. graduation. her mom didn’t show ( "overslept” after a bender ) but her dad did and surprised her n said everything wld be different. bt then he bailed on their plans for the next day n when she called his cell, the number was disconnected. tht was the defining “i’m done” moment. clem promised to never be disappointed by her father again.

(TW: racism) her mother has mexican ancestry and clem’s always been called her twin. but clem was raised in a predominately white area and honestly ?? it was really hard without her even realizing it. she’s still unpacking a lot of things today abt her youth that jst weren’t okay bt she thought were normal. like microaggressions, stereotypes, being fetishized by boys in high school. gross shit.

as a kid, clem was rumored to be really poor bc she wore tattered clothes n got free lunch at school. once she invited a friend to her house & the next day they told everyone it’s in a trailer park. that reputation—the “trailer park girl”—was really hard to shake. and clem got almost desperate to shake it. she was endlessly trying to set her old self on fire and emerge from the ashes like a phoenix.

eventually clem became more “popular”. in school she was, like, a straight b student. very average although super creative and quick-thinking. she always had street smarts. problem solving skills. independence. more of, like, practical intelligence as opposed to book smarts because academia bores her tbh. she was like why am i reading these overrated boring books by dead white men or learning abt polynomials when i know nothing abt how to pay a mortage or do taxes. like...she saw the american education system as bullshit and put in modest effort because she didn’t believe it deserved her sweat and tears. 

however, she entered the online lottery for the seas program on a whim and got in. so she’s studying creative writing now.

02. personality !

first thing you shld know abt clem is that she’s a compulsive liar essentially—she tells various stories to make her life seem better than what it was. to one person, she’s an heiress to a real estate company and grew up wealthy. to the next she was raised by nomadic hippies. some of her lies are small fibs while others are grandiose tales. she rarely talks about her actual upbringing. she hates talking abt her family or the v real trauma of growing up in a household where both parents struggled w/ addiction; the uncertainty, the broken promises, the fact that she had to grow up so soon and deal w/ so much. it wasn’t fair, and if she thinks about it too much, she feels this anger. anger at the universe. anger at her circumstances. she doesn’t know where to put this anger. she doesn’t know how to shrink it. so she avoids it.

despite her rough upbringing, though, clem is actually really sweet and kind. she’s adventurous, fun-loving, free-spirited, and bold. 

bt ! she can also be closed-off, competitive and restive. 

she’s seemingly tight with everyone? like she’s jst that girl who can get along with anyone tbh. 

in her spare time you can catch her tanning by the pool, hanging at the bar, playing pool ( which she learned from her dad ), and socializing. she’ll never say no to hanging out with people. 

she learned a lot from her little “adventures” with her dad, who was very good at conning others and often involved her in his dumb little scams. clem is suuuper good at pulling the ‘im baby 🥺’ card to get what she wants.

she can be a little selfish, because she grew up looking out for herself. 

stubborn and dogmatic as hell !!!

she doesn’t do too many relationships but when she does fall, i imagine she falls hard and fast. she refuses to be made a fool of, tho. when she gets vulnerable she flashes back to being a kid, waiting all day for her dad to show up only to have him bail on her. again. she hates that feeling. so if she, like, senses a shift in someone’s energy she’ll b like, “i’ll break up with u before u can do it to me” and the person wasn’t even tryna dump her lmao.

has a lot of sex. too much ?? sex?? mayb. but she’s v sex positive.

her personal style is v late 90s. hair clips, big scrunchies, neon, fur trim, crop and tube tops, hoop earrings, chokers, patterns, platform shoes, biodegradable glitter cuz it’s good fr the earth *winks*. clothes from o-mighty.......actually jst google o mighty, pull up the images and That is clem. she dresses like a bratz doll. she’s dedicated to the aesthetic.

03. headcanons !

her item brought from home is a hot pink poker chip from a casino. her dad gave it to her. he said it reminded him of her because of the color; he got it during one of his winning streaks and said it was lucky. she has a complicated relationship w/ her dad n doesn’t even speak to him anymore, bt she will never go anywhere without it.

she’s a smol bean—only 5′4

an astrology girl and she reads palms ! she absolutely makes astrology tik toks that people only watch because she’s hot. her flirting technique is to ask you to read your palm.

she doesn’t typically drink to get drunk. but she does love a good sugary cocktail. to her, a drink is like an accessory. a blue fishbowl by the pool, a jack and coke as she stands around a bar. usually she'll nurse the same beverage for a while. if you see her wasted it usually means she’s going thru it emotionally lol. the one thing she does do is drugs tho 

pretty much listens to exclusively female artists.

a bit of an activist. environmentalism, feminism and the like, she’s v outspoken. vegan for ethical reasons (TW: drugs) bt still does cocaine. she wears shirts with ‘my pussy my choice’ bedazzled on the front.

loves to rollerblade ! back home she didn’t have a car so she’d bike or rollerblade. now she still has her blades and she’ll use them when the ship docks. 

03. wanted connections !

Friends, bffs, ride or dies, friends who are like siblings to her, maybe a friend with an unrequited crush on either side ??

an ex she dumped/cheated on/otherwise self sabotaged their relationship because she was afraid of vulnerability.

an ex friend who realized she lies a lot abt herself n felt betrayed. OH ! ESP if they opened up to her on many occasions abt intimate, personal stuff. imagine the betrayal they felt when they found that everything they thought they knew abt clem is a lie.

someone who she actually opens up to. a confidant. or, maybe, like, a stranger she drunkenly spilled her soul to and now she avoids them like the plague.

a rival. clem can be competitive.

her drug dealer 

someone she knows she shouldn’t hook up with and… does it anyways. like a friend’s ex or smthing. spicy <3

i welcome anything !

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2020

You know, when I finished my latest list and realised every decade had the same pattern and that we were slowly going towards a series of great years for pop, I didn’t realise how good that year would be.

What’s at the top? Am I boringly predictable because I already said I loved that song all the way back in January 2020? Let’s find out.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. How was your 2020?

Mine was actually surprisingly good, considering. I’m lucky enough to have a job that I can partially do from home, and I was extremely paranoid from the get-go and nobody got sick under this roof so far. Turns out I’m even better at my job from home and I got permission to work from home one day per week even after the health crisis is over! My first name was also finally officially approved and I can’t tell you how happy I feel about that. I almost feel bad to have had such a good year considering the circumstances. I feel like an asshole just because I’m happy, haha.

The only frustrating part was that I was supposed to see Hatari in concert in Paris in early April which, as you can guess, was cancelled. I’m not too mad about it though, since their tour was called “Europe will crumble” and the message saying the tour was cancelled started with “since Europe is actually crumbling due to Covid-19″ and that’s hysterical.

Good or interesting albums that came out in 2020 now, let’s see.

Nightwish released Human/Nature, which was a huge letdown compared to their previous album, but I will relisten to it at some point to make sure I wasn’t just in a bad mood that day.

The Birthday Massacre released Diamonds, which might be their weakest album since their debut, but contained some real gems (I listened to The Last Goodbye on a loop, it floored me. Flashback and Enter are also very good).

The 1975 released Notes On A Conditional Form, and let’s be real, it’s a f█cking mess. You could cut half the tracks and end up with an excellent album, but as it is it’s like, yes, a collection of notes ; however there’s some truely excellent shit on it (see unelligible songs).

Thanks to a friend on a discord server I was exposed to Dorian Electra’s music and I haven’t been quite the same ever since. I’m so happy to be alive to see other enbies making such great music with an insanely good aesthetic surrounding it and asking so many interesting questions about gender. Also the arc the ‘gentleman’ character goes through over the course of the entire tracklist of the 2020 My Agenda album is absolutely hilarious, don’t @ me.

I also discovered 100 Gecs this year. Why are most of you guys saying it’s unlistenable garbage. It’s just as abrasive and over the top as industrial music is, but with none of the edginess or drama. I love it. What the hell. But yeah Tree of Clues was released this year. Good.

Speaking of industrial, in March 2020 Nine Inch Nails were like “hey remember when we released Ghosts I-IV a decade ago entirely for free and how amazing that was? Well we’re all in lockdown and bored as hell so here’s Ghosts V-VI and it’s also free. Enjoy” and I f█cking died instantly. And it’s even better than I-IV. What the hell was that year

Jonsi released Shiver. It’s strange and highly experimental. I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing I was into hyperpop this year, otherwise going from his previous material straight to this album would have been brutal.

Yadda yadda yadda After Hours by the Weeknd good yadda yadda.

I’ve joked about that already but if you had told me in 2019 that 2020 would have fires, a pandemic, riots, monoliths appearing and disappearing, and also a super good Machine Gun Kelly album, guess which part I would have found the most ridiculous. But yeah uh. Tickets to my Downfall good

So uh this year I tried to listen to some hyperpop and liked it a lot, and I also dipped my toes timidly into screamo and listened to Svalbard, who released When I Die this year, and the entire album was a very beautiful, very intricately decorated punch to the face. It sounds like God Is An Astronaut except with a shit ton of yelling. I love it. Open Wound is my favorite track on it.

But no, despite all of this, my album of the year was from a band I had never even heard about before that year, called Spanish Love Songs. The album is titled Brave Faces Everyone and it’s line after line after line of extremely relatable generational angst but yelled with complete sincerity and it’s so propulsive and energetic you can’t help but feel both exhausted and ready to fight the entire universe. I don’t know how it works, but it’s incredible. The entire album is wonderfully brutal, so it’s kind of difficult to pick my favorite songs on it, but Beachfront Property and the title track stand out.

Unelligible songs, now, and there’s, uh, quite a few of them too so I’m also gonna use bullet points. Good lord this post is gonna be long.

First, let me say I have literally no idea why Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus wasn’t a bigger hit. It’s not on the year-end US top 100 and it feels extremely wrong. Would have made it to #4 on this list otherwise.

I still entertain the vague hope that stuff from Machine Gun Kelly will chart higher in 2021 but I doubt it will happen so I might as well tackle it now and say that Bloody Valentine and especially Forget Me Too are both excellent and that it’s a shame radios aren’t playing them more often.

Heaven by the late Avicii featuring Coldplay should have charted in 2019 and still didn’t chart in 2020 and that’s a real shame.

If the world was a bit less unfair, Lovesick Girls by Blackpink would have been a hit rather than the awful Ice Cream.

One day I will stop complaining about my bafflement concerning the lack of mainstream pop charts success of The 1975. Today is not that day. I just love how they keep making songs about extremely awkward relationships full of weird details, and I haven’t grown tired of that yet. So yeah If You’re Too Shy is about a guy who’s crush is asking him to get naked on Skype in his hotel room and he’s, uh, not too sure about that idea.

And Me & You Together is about a guy who never finds the right moment to tell his best friend he’s in love with her, and he manages to do so at the end and it’s cute as hell. My fave part is “I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer / It's not as weird as it appears / It's 'cause my body doesn't stop me (Stop me) / Oh, it's okay, lots of people think I'm gay / But we're friends, so it's cool, why would it not be?”. Relatable as f█ck.

And now for an international hit that should have been bigger in the US and/or in my country but wasn’t: Head & Heart by Joel Corry and MNEK.

I’ve heard Nos Célébrations by Indochine extremely often on French radio for months now so I was very surprised to see that it didn’t crack the local year-end list. What happened.

I can finally hear the appeal of Bring Me The Horizon. It took me ages. And also Death Stranding. The song Ludens isn’t in the game per say, but it’s among the ones you can pick to broadcast briefly when people drive by your constructions, and long story short it's been living rent-free in my head for months now.

Phew.

It’s time for a round of Honorable Mentions for elligible songs, containing a couple of guilty pleasures, which is saying something considering the kind of shit I put on some of my previous lists.

Ne Reviens Pas (Gradur et Heuss l’Enfoiré) - Heuss is a French artist that kept baffling me while making my lists for the previous years, and I was like “??? ok, that’s it then, I guess I’m getting too old to get what teenagers find funny”. This one worked for me, though. And the music video doesn’t hurt. Really dumb and really fun.

Adore You (Harry Styles) - Perfectly good little pop song, very pleasant to listen to, never outstayed its welcome for me.

Mood (24kGoldn) - This doesn’t sound like a very good relationship, my dude, but that’s still a super pleasant song.

WAP (Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion) - This song is absolutely hilarious and I will hear no argument from any of you.

Control (Zoe Wees) - Was clearly a hit here. Should have been even bigger though. What a powerful but comfy voice. If I had better taste it would be on the list.

Hot Girl Bummer (Blackbear) - I. Uh. Listen. I keep saying I have bad taste and nobody believes me. Do you believe me now. But yeah. “F█ck you, and you, and you~, I hate your friends and they hate me too” is gonna pop in my head every single time someone is being a jerk anywhere near me now. It’s been happening all year already. Someone trashed my documents at work? Someone isn’t wearing a mask in public? That guy has filled his car with rolls of toilet paper? Brain goes “F█ck you, and you, and you~”. Every. Single. Time.

Come & Go (Juice WRLD & Marshmello ) - Damn, that’s a pretty good little song. I’ve seen plenty of people saying it’s ruined by the drop, but may I remind you I’m the person who loves Blue by Eiffel 65 with all my heart. If the song was ramping up consistently until the end instead of ending like that, it would have made the list, definitely.

And now, the actual list. This one actually feels pretty solid, I genuinely like everything on it, there’s no filler here for once.

10 - The Box (Roddy Rich)

US: #3 / FR: #23

Now this is a weird case, because for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why this song was so popular and I was completely neutral about it. Then, one morning in September, my mental jukebox (which always, always puts a song on a loop in my head when I wake up) decided to play it. And I was like oh wow?? I never noticed the atmosphere in that song before? It’s so great. And that hook too. Let’s listen to it.

So yeah, I don’t know what happened. It just clicked one day and everything fell into place, I guess.

9 - Alane (Wes & Robin Shulz)

US: Not on the list / FR: #93

Come on. You can’t do a remake of one of my previous #1 songs and let it chart in 2020. That’s cheating. Even with this subpar drop, I have to put it on the list, now.

I’ve already said my piece about the original, so I’m just going to send you back to my 1997 list.

8 - Kings and Queens (Ava Max)

US: Not on the list / FR: #76

[BBC documentary voice] After Lady Gaga decided to make piano balads and left her musical niche vacant, Ava Max quickly took her place as the top predator pop diva. Even after Lady Gaga was re-introduced to her natural habitat in 2020, she still hasn’t fully recovered in Europe, where Ava Max still reigns supreme on the charts -

(tldr I think it’s hilarious that this isn’t on the US Billboard while Lady Gaga isn’t on the French year-end top 100)

7 - Roses (Saint Jhn & Imanbek)

US: #19 / FR: #3

What an earworm. It doesn’t even bother trying to have an intro or an outro, so it loops almost perfectly. It’s like entering a party that started long before you arrived, and it will go on long after you leave it to go back home. Kind of hypnotic in a way.

And yes, my mental jukebox was very fond of using it to wake me up this year, so this is another song that’s here almost solely because of that.

6 - Physical (Dua Lipa)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69 (hehehe)

“Hey I’m not that old” says the guy who’s definitely a sucker for this kind of retro throwback that was so popular this year. Oh well.

I don’t have anything interesting to say about this one, though. Apart from the fact that everyone seems to have a different fave song on that album. Guess that’s quality for you.

5 - Rain on Me (Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

That is far from being Lady Gaga’s best song, but it was a joy to listen to everytime it was on the radio anyway. Also Ariana Grande has surprisingly good chemistry with Gaga! This year was full of strange duets mostly made for commercial reasons, and this one isn’t an exception, but unlike a lot of them, it really, really works.

4 - Dynamite (BTS)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

I’m still not 100% sold on k-pop even if a ton of it sounds super good, but come on. Even if some bits of this song (especially the beginning of the second chorus) sound a bit like they were made on autopilot, it still sounds just as happy and fun several months after I first heard it and I never got tired of it. That’s quality. You hear it and you can’t help but tap your feet and smile.

Actually, I’m sure there’s people somewhere that don’t smile when they hear this song. And they must be avoided at all costs.

3 - Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD)

US: #62 / FR: Not on the list

What are you doing so high on this list, old man. Why are you still here in the year 2020. I thought we left you in the previous decade. Who gave you the right.

I’m gonna tell you who did, and it’s actually Juice WRLD. Because that chorus is incredible, and like a lot of people I’m pissed off because the guy died super young and this shit shouldn’t happen to anybody. No, his early material wasn’t great, but I’m sorry I’m gonna say it again: have you heard this damn chorus? It’s suspenseful and dark, it’s got this lowkey menacing quality, it’s an earworm and a half, and it’s more convincing in like six lines than Eminem’s own flexing is in the entire song.

The beat is extremely good as well, and the flow, obviously, impressive. The weakest link is Eminem’s writing, which is as usual full of puns and weird wordplay, except here a lot of it isn’t great, and that last ultra fast part at the end is technically impressive but it also drives the song up a cliff and stops it dead in its tracks once it’s over. But frankly the lines fly by so fast it’s difficult to be too annoyed by them.

Can I sincerely put this extremely flawed song so high on my list? A better question would be “did I spend hours trying to learn how to sing this shit without choking on my own spit?”. The answer is yes. To both.

2 - Heartless (The Weeknd)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

I’ve said it on my 2015 and 2016 lists already, but just for the record I’ll say it again: it took me ages to like The Weeknd, mostly because I found most of his songs fairly boring, or disliked the lyrics, or both. Also I never really liked the general vibe of his “sexy” songs like The Hills, they felt dark but in an unpleasant creepy way. Felt like miserable hedonism, if that makes sense.

So, because I’m a person with extremely consistent and logical tastes, here’s the exact same shit he was making before, except that this time I absolutely adore it.

What is he doing differently that makes the whole After Hours album click for me whereas almost all of his previous material failed to do so? Is it the energy? Is it the reverb? Is it the fact that the narrator sounds properly unhinged and, frankly, scared to be spiralling out of control? Why are the colors so beautiful yet full of anxiety? Why is that bridge so fantastic? How can you make your voice look like a glowstick in the dark?

I give up. I have no clue. At least I’m done talking about-

Oh.

1 - Blinding Lights (The Weeknd)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (listen sometimes something’s just that good, ok)

Surprise. Or not.

Wow, look at that, Johannes has put this year’s number one pop song at number one on their personal playlist. The audacity. The edge. What a hot take.

I discovered that song when it first came out at the end of 2019 and I adored it instantly. And I was so scared it wouldn’t be a hit. Which means I’m a f█cking dumbass considering it ended up breaking all sorts of records in 2020. But what can I say, overplay can be a blessing when you love a song that much.

Like every single song I put at number one on one of my lists, I will draw this one at some point and you will understand how incredibly satisfying it is to listen to a song called Blinding Lights, talking about city lights looking blurry when you’re driving at night, while looking itself like a bunch of blurry city lights passing by super fast. Perfect in every way.

Also it sounds exactly like A-ha, and that never hurts.

See you next year! Pretty sure it will be even better music-wise.

[theartofreadingbykyla]

Book Review: The Hating Game

Nemesis (n.) 1) An opponent or rival whom a person cannot best or overcome. 2) A person’s undoing 3) Joshua Templeman Lucy Hutton has always been certain that the nice girl can get the corner office. She’s charming and accommodating and prides herself on being loved by everyone at Bexley & Gamin. Everyone except for coldly efficient, impeccably attired, physically intimidating Joshua Templeman. And the feeling is mutual. Trapped in a shared office together 40 (OK, 50 or 60) hours a week, they’ve become entrenched in an addictive, ridiculous never-ending game of one-upmanship. There’s the Staring Game. The Mirror Game. The HR Game. Lucy can’t let Joshua beat her at anything—especially when a huge new promotion goes up for the taking. If Lucy wins this game, she’ll be Joshua’s boss. If she loses, she’ll resign. So why is she suddenly having steamy dreams about Joshua, and dressing for work like she’s got a hot date? After a perfectly innocent elevator ride ends with an earth-shattering kiss, Lucy starts to wonder whether she’s got Joshua Templeman all wrong. Maybe Lucy Hutton doesn’t hate Joshua Templeman. And maybe, he doesn’t hate her either. Or maybe this is just another game.

ꜱᴇᴇ ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ ʙᴇʟᴏᴡ:

Here's my first 5 stars read and my first favorite book for the month of May! I absolutely love this book! It's so funny, romantic, and beautifully written by the author. But when did Sally Thorne disappoint us with her works? NEVER. I really enjoyed reading this one because I stayed up late until 4am to finish it. I just couldn't put it down even for a second. I'm so in love with the characters here and I want them to be my friends fr! Imagine being a third wheel between those two and just hearing them bark at each other would make my day! Haha. They are sweet with each other and they have their own way of showing that. It's not only about hate but this book also shows conflicts about family and I think some would relate to that. I admire Lucy for standing up to Joshua with his father. VENOM!

Seriously speaking, you MUST READ this BOOK! I highly recommend it especially if you love the enemies-to-lovers trope.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

About the Author:

Sally Thorne

Sally Thorne is the USA Today bestselling author of the office rom-com The Hating Game (2016). It is her debut novel that has sold in over twenty-five countries and is being made into a major motion picture, directed by Peter Hutchings and starring Lucy Hale and Austin Stowell. Filming wrapped in December 2020. It was named in the top 20 romance novels of 2016 by the Washington Post and was a top ten finalist in the Goodreads Choice Awards romance category. The Hating Game has been cited as a book that has reinvigorated the romantic comedy genre. Sally’s much anticipated second novel, 99 Percent Mine, was released on 29 January 2019 by William Morrow Books and debuted at #37 on the USA Today Bestseller List. Sally’s third novel Second First Impressions is released AU/NZ 31 March 2021, and US/CAN 13 April 2021. Sally lives in Canberra, Australia, with her husband- plus a pug called Delia and a horse called Louie.

[ballplayersxo]

owner I’m sad, so you know my birthday just passed and I had a couple of “friends” birthdays that were before mine, So I bought one friend some damn airpods for her birthday and the other one a necklace. The same friend that I gifted the necklace to bought shit loads of gifts for my other friend (her birthday was on the 2nd) and I didn’t get shit in return from neither of them for mine. I didn’t receive a gift from no one. My best friend is not included because she’s going through a lot right now so I understand her situation. I hate that I just realized this shit so late, but it’s making me feel some type of way because like damn I could’ve kept my money. Also what’s fucked up is my co worker that I haven’t worked with since March gave me $40 (I love him so much he’s the sweetest) but I didn’t get shit from “friends” that i’ve been knowing since Elementary-middle school

yeah this unreciprocated energy has to go. if she was suffering financially that’s one thing, but to go out of her way to get stuff for her other friend but not you? sorry that’s really weird to me. idk if i would end the friendship right away, but definitely pay closer attention to how they treat you and if you think this is a continuing thing, you have to drop them. i know how this feels, it sucks fr

[sorrymomandcat]

Fri, December 11 2020

12:15PM A REAL FAKE STORY: BAE TODAY: What was so bad about doing drugs? I’m not sure why everyone got really worried and offended that I have been using crystal meth. They don’t talk to me about it, ask me about it, worry about it or even notice it. Most the time it’s out of their way unless I’m trying to say hi and make myself laugh.. given nobody has seen me in person for years. Hahah since meth pissed them off. Me smoking it at home. Paying for it (like not before expenses) and still being sober enough to be alive usually. I think it could be that they are worried I am going to die. Or call them. Or stay up late even when I don’t even work yet. Let’s figure out when I worked: first month sober August 2019. Sometimes I’d go a few days after that relapse. Not sleeping was what really gets them. Then I think I got a second job.. didn’t last long. Used a bit more. Moved apartments in Jan 2020. Got sober for maybe 2 weeks? Couple days at least of straight sleep, no couch. Winter was sunny, again. Missed it.. really high and mostly 100% unsafe in my own home from family, police and the guy fucking me. Usually not loving. Brutally. I hadn’t slept so bad dream? No one was there except my Mom. I don’t know what she did at first but it wasn’t mean and I got kinda mad when I went back. Sober for another week. Always using because that’s why I stay awake. They’re worried about my safety. I pick up almost never but nobody asks me that. I got abused, drugs. Everyone’s mad. Chill on the blog. Soooo then got a job for legit 1 day at some bs. Got busy instead, might have stayed sober another week. Punched myself in the fucking face and went to the psych/ started being told to go to treatment. I laughed but went along with it. They were full because COVID but because I smoked meth my parents told me that I hardly even tried to get in. Witnesses. Classmates. Former. Mom hooked me up with CCC. Once. I went. That’s cool. Wanna talk for 15 mins? “You smoke meth?” “Yes” “that is your problem. You want to talk?” “Yes lol I’m high” “That’s cute. Your Mom asked if I could call after?” “This was supposed to work?” That was King St. Notched. Got high all day obviously lol. Slept every week who knows what the fuck that asshole was doing but some days I tripped balls straight up don’t talk about the hospital and my charges are mine, minus the fucking cop straight up punching me in the face then bending me over a bed. Plus the ones I didn’t lay. Whatever. Courthouse. I was high fr some those times. Tried to get help continuously when I was on my phone or had a car. Stolen. Thank God. I drive stick. I can see if they knew this at all why they would want answers from me, but truthfully avoid me in traffic. Sober again for a week after anytime I used pretty much, since my Mom found out. It uh, started coming to my apartment and my neighbours found out. Then fuuuuuuuuuuucking COVID. In March? Ok. Obviously at Cedar St first. Real beef. With drugs? Nobody could talk to me anymore. I was making no sense and who the fuck knows where They went. Jerking off in the kitchen because I was on my phone too much. Truthfully. Why the fuck not, I thought let’s be honest and we could have sex together. Hmu so he gave me straight up chlamydia while I cried in the basement. Disfigured. From staying awake waiting to feel.... safe. No. He raped me. Which to be fair, I had no one else around but an abuser and the police were trying to help him. Didn’t know I needed it. Assumed the people in my life were helping. I was the one on drugs remember? Ugh. Him too. So inconvenient when they’d come by after the gym to say “you’re smoking meth” Thank you. What now? Anyways got evicted from that place after robbed and trashed (me too) stayed sober for whatever, everyone went to jail jk bro code so he was good. I got help moving. Literally stalk me but don’t talk to me? Friendship. Respectfully, I have no friends left after that shit. Smoked meth. Didn’t tell anyone I needed help. They said it’s only a drug problem. 10 toes down for my cat and dog.

[thegoldenyears-memories]

         ☆ MISCHIEF MANAGED, a the marauders mix ☆

“i solemnly swear that i am up to no good.”

                                                                     ( listen )

01. ORPHANS de coldplay ( i want to know when i can go back and get drunk with my friends. i want to know when i can go back and be young again. )

02. THE KIDS AREN’T ALRIGHT de fall out boy ( and in the end, i'll do it all again. i think you're my best friend. don't you know that the kids aren't, kids aren't alright? )

03. THE RECKLESS AND THE BRAVE de all time low ( long live the reckless and the brave. i don't think i want to be saved, my song has not been sung. long live us. )

04. NEW GOLDEN AGE de keane ( we were young, now we wake from the dream, stumble blurry-eyed, find ourselves at the gates of a new golden age. )

05. THE GREAT ESCAPE de boys like girls ( throw it away, forget yesterday. we'll make the great escape. we won't hear a word they say, they don't know us anyway. )

06. 1979 de the smashing pumpkins ( we were sure we'd never see an end to it all. )

07. TIME TO PRETEND de mgmt ( this is our decision to live fast and die young. we've got the vision, now let's have some fun. )

08. RIBS de lorde ( this dream isn't feeling sweet, we're reeling through the midnight streets. it feels so scary getting old. you're the only friend i need, sharing beds like little kids, and laughing 'til our ribs get tough, but that will never be enough. )

09. ENGLAND de the national ( you must be somewhere in london, you must be loving your life in the rain. )

10. HIGH HOPES de panic! at the disco ( mama said fulfill the prophecy, be something greater, go make a legacy, manifest destiny. back in the days we wanted everything. )

11. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS de the beatles ( i get by with a little help from my friends. )

12. SKY’S STILL BLUE de andrew belle ( oh, if you’re hearing this, i must have made it through. oh, when the clouds above open up through my window, I'll see the sky’s still blue. )

13. AND THE BOYS de angus & julia stone ( and the boys go on and on and on and on. and there's gold falling from the ceiling of this world, falling from the things we should have learned, falling from the things we could have heard, falling from the people that we heard, falling from the love we never earned, falling from the sky that should have burned, falling fom my heart. )

14. WE WILL ROCK YOU de queen ( buddy you're a young man hard man, shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world some day. you got blood on yo' face, you big disgrace. wavin' your banner all over the place. we will, we will rock you. )

15. FRIENDS de band of skulls ( i need love 'cause only love is true. i need every waking hour with you, and my friends 'cause they're so beautiful. yeah, my friends they are so beautiful. they're my friends. )

16. WE ARE YOUNG de fun. ft. janelle monáe ( so if by the time the bar closes, and you feel like falling down, i'll carry you home. tonight we are young, so let's set the world on fire, we can burn brighter than the sun. )

17. INVINCIBLE de muse ( during the struggle they will pull us down. please, please, let's use this chance to turn things around. and tonight we can truly say together we're invincible. )

18. DON’T STOP ME NOW de queen ( don't stop me now 'cause i'm having a good time. don't stop me now, yes i'm having a good time, i don't want to stop at all, yeah! )

19. BREAK THE RULES de charli xcx ( i don't wanna go to school, i just wanna break the rules. )

20. KEEPING YOUR HEAD UP de birdy ( don't you know your pain is mine? and i would die a thousand times to ease your mind. hold tight; you're slowly coming back to life. i'll be keeping your head up. )

21. WE’LL BE ALRIGHT de travie mccoy ( we are young, we run free, stay up late, we don’t sleep, got our friends, got the night, we’ll be alright. )

22. YOUNG VOLCANOES de fall out boy ( we are wild, we are like young volcanoes. )

23. A.M. de one direction ( won't you stay 'til the a.m.? all my favourite conversations, always made in the a.m. cause we don't know what we're saying. we're just swimming round in our glasses, and talking out of our asses, like we're all gonna make it. )

24. NEVER GOING BACK de the score ( i'm never gonna follow just because they say so. )

25. US AGAINST THE WORLD de coldplay ( through chaos as it swirls, it's us against the world. )

26. PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE de queen ( here we are, born to be kings, we're the princes of the universe. here we belong, fighting to survive in a war with the darkest powers. )

27. TIMSHEL de mumford & sons ( but you are not alone in this, and you are not alone in this, as brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand, hold your hand. )

28. CARRY ON de fun. ( 'cause we are, we are shining stars, we are invincible. we are who we are on our darkest day, when we’re miles away, so we'll come, we will find our way home. )

29. RUNNING WITH THE WOLVES de aurora ( i'm running with the wolves tonight. )

30. MY BLOOD de twenty one pilots ( when everyone you thought you knew deserts your fight, i'll go with you. you're facin' down a dark hall, i'll grab my light and go with you. )

31. LEGENDARY de welshly arms ( yeah, we're gonna be legends. gonna teach 'em all a lesson. got this feeling in our souls we carry that it's about to be legendary. )

32. LIVE LIKE LEGENDS de ruelle ( this is our time, no turning back. we could live, we could live like legends. )

33. LANDSLIDE de fleetwood mac ( well, i've been afraid of changing, 'cause i've built my life around you. but time makes you bolder, even children get older, and i'm getting older too. )

34. VIVA LA VIDA de coldplay ( i used to rule the world, seas would rise when i gave the word. now in the morning i sleep alone, sweep the streets i used to own. )

35. WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS de queen ( we are the champions, my friends. and we'll keep on fighting 'til the end. we are the champions, we are the champions. no time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world. )

36. MARCHIN ON de one republic ( there's so many wars we fought, there's so many things we're not, but with what we have, i promise you that we're marching on. )

37. FOREVER YOUNG de youth group ( forever young, i want to be forever young. do you really want to live forever? forever young. )

38. THINGS WE LOST IN THE FIRE de bastille ( do you understand that we will never be the same again? the future's in our hands and we will never be the same again. )

39. HEROES NEVER DIE de unsecret & krigarè ( don't give up the fight, 'cause heroes never die. )

40. GOLDEN DAYS de panic! at the disco ( oh don't you wonder when the light begins to fade? and the clock just makes the colors turn to grey. forever younger growing older just the same, all the mem'ries that we make will never change. and i swear that i'll always paint you golden days. )

41. HOW FAR WE’VE COME de matchbox twenty ( i believe the world is burning to the ground, oh well i guess we're gonna find out. let's see how far we've come. well i believe it all is coming to an end. oh well, i guess, we're gonna pretend. let's see how far we've come. )

42. WAY DOWN WE GO de kaleo ( oh, father tell me, do we get what we deserve? )

43. RUNNING UP THAT HILL de placebo ( and if i only could make a deal with god and get him to swap our places. be running up that road, be running up that hill, be running up that building, if i only could. )

44. GOOD OLD DAYS de macklemore ft. kesha ( i wish somebody would have told me, babe, that someday these will be the good old days. all the love you won't forget and all these reckless nights you won't regret. 'cause someday soon, your whole life's gonna change. you'll miss the magic of the good old days. )

45. OH BROTHER de saint raymond ( who are you to say we can't stand up to face it all again. show me where you hide, bring this back to life, who will hear us cry, oh, brother. )

46. CHARLIE BROWN de coldplay ( we'll run wild, we'll be glowing in the dark. )

47. TIME OF OUR LIVES de tyrone wells ( it's hard to walk away from the best of days, but if it has to end, i'm glad you have been my friend in the time of our lives. )

48. HEROES de david bowie ( we can be heroes, for ever and ever. what d'you say? )

49. ALL THESE THINGS THAT I’VE DONE de the killers ( when there's nowhere else to run, is there room for one more son? )

50. DON’T THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME de panic! at the disco ( this night is heating up, raise hell and turn it up. oh yeah, don't threaten me with a good time. )

51. CENTURIES de fall out boy ( some legends are told, some turn to dust or to gold. but you will remember me, remember me for centuries. )

52. I LIVED de one republic ( hope when the moment comes, you'll say... i, i did it all. i, i did it all. i owned every second that this world could give. i saw so many places, the things that i did. with every broken bone, i swear i lived. )

53. CASTLE ON THE HILL de ed sheeran ( i still remember these old country lanes, when we did not know the answers. and i miss the way you make me feel, and it's real, when we watched the sunset over the castle on the hill. )

54. HEY JUDE de the beatles ( and anytime you feel the pain, hey, jude, refrain. don't carry the world upon your shoulders. )

55. MY OLD FRIEND de sam amidon ( my old friend, i recall, times we had are hanging on my wall. i wouldn't trade them for gold. they laughed and they cried me, and somehow sanctified me. my old friend, this song's for you, 'cause a few simple verses was the least that i could do, to tell the world that you were here. the love and the laughter will live on long after all of the sadness and the tears. we'll meet again, my old friend. )

56. I WAS HERE de beyoncé ( i was here. i lived, i loved, i was here. i did, i've done everything that i wanted, and it was more than i thought it would be. i will leave my mark so everyone will know i was here. )

57. SEE YOU AGAIN de wiz khalifa ft. charlie puth ( it's been a long day without you, my friend. and i'll tell you all about it when i see you again. we've come a long way from where we began, oh, i'll tell you all about it when i see you again. )

58. DEATH WILL NEVER CONQUER de coldplay ( if sweet death should ever come for me, let me know, boys, let me know. if you hear him coming, won't you let me flee. let me go, boys, let me go. )

59. TO BUILD A HOME de the cinematic orchestra ( there is a house built out of stone. wooden floors, walls and window sills. tables and chairs worn by all of the dust. this is a place where i don't feel alone, this is a place where i feel at home. and i built a home for you, for me. until it disappeared from me, from you. )

60. A WINDOW TO THE PAST de john williams

╰  ❄  feliz navidad y año nuevo, tiff.

—; de: andy ( @thelonelyykitty​ )

—; para: tiff ( @canut0​ )

Querida Tiffany (HEH):

Primero que nada, perdón por el regalo de Agatha shjGDJSDSDSD. Ya sabes que odia a Sirius con su alma. Perdón DSHSJDSDSDDS. 

Segundo, para compensar eso te armé este hermoso mix de nuestros bebés favoritos. Siempre quise hacerles uno, ¡y esta fue mi oportunidad! Fui muy feliz, la verdad. Los amo muchísimo desde siempre y tienen un lugar muy especial en mi corazoncito, así que hacerlo fue very divertido y emotivo. Lloré unas cinco veces. Te aconsejo y te pido que escuches cada canción y leas cada letra, porque sólo coloqué las frases más significativas, cuando hay mucho más (esto es porque son 60 canciones y si ponía todo, iba a tardar una eternidad). Spotify no tenía una canción but puse un link a youtube para que la escuches, hehehe. Espero te guste mucho, mucho. Definitivamente busqué ir desde sus tiempos más inocentes y bonitos, hasta cuando todo se va a la… A un lugar muy triste. Creo que existe una reticencia a crecer de parte de ellos, porque de pronto fueron lanzados a una guerra y se vieron obligados a lidiar con un asunto de adultos cuando eran aún niños, a pesar de escogerlo, y de sentirse heroicos... Fue demasiado para ellos. Intenté involucrar ese tema también, cómo se fueron perdiendo los años dorados y terminaron en... Lo que es, ya sabes. Su historia me parece sumamente triste, so... Hice algo muy triste también HSSDGDSSD. Like primero fueron muy felices y tenían esa amistad tan inquebrantable y real, y después ALGUIEN peter decidió mandar todo a un lugar nada agradable y bueno, se rompió todo eso y se magulló la historia. Al menos vivieron la locura al full, supongo hdjssdsdjsd. Creyeron que todos iban a salir vivos e igual de la guerra *sigue llorando*, al final fueron... *llora más fuerte*... Legendarios *llora demasiado*. Ojalá llores con Landslide como yo, digo que. Así que ten una playlist muy feliz y al mismo tiempo muy triste, justo como ellos. Disfrútala, llora como lo hice yo con la última canción, pregúntate porque Rowling nos quitó todo, y lo más importante: sé feliz. 

Soy muy mala en estas cartas, porque literal siento que nunca me expreso totalmente, pero lo intento. Espero sepas que te quiero mucho y me alegra que sigamos en contacto después de conocernos por tanto tiempo. Siempre has sido bien linda conmigo y MUY, MUY DIVERTIDA, en verdad me has hecho reír demasido. Eres mi bebé *peina su cabello y la mente en una mantita*. Gracias por continuar aquí y por todos los bonitos momentos de nuestra amistad, eres de lo más linda. Espero hayas tenido una hermosa Navidad y Año nuevo, y que este año sea muy bueno para ti en todos los aspectos, porque mereces ser muy feliz. Mis mejores deseos para ti, bebé, nunca olvides lo linda que eres y cuanto vales. Sabes que aquí estamos cualquier cosa y ojalá sepas lo importante que eres. ¡Te quiero muuuuucho! Te dejo un abracito fuerte y cariñoso. Gracias por todo, todito. 

P.D.: No sé si era “a marauders mix” o “a the marauders mix”, pero le dejé el segundo porque tenía más sentimiento, siono.

Con musho amors, 

                                                 — andy ♡. 🎅

[missvifdor]

EÄLRIEL - The Twilight Child (Title FR: L’enfant du Crépuscule).

The Twilight Child or L'enfant du Crépuscule is the story I've been working on for a while and the one that's been in my head since the end of high school. This is only the number 1 chapter of the beta. The story is normally written in French but I translated it as I could. I'm a little worried about posting it now, but I really want your opinion to be able to edit and improve the story. I hope you will like it and I apologize for the spelling mistakes, as I have pointed out several times I'm French and English is not my first language. The images of the chapter do not belong to me, but to their respective authors (with the exception of the cover with the title, please do not take it)

Leave a comment, please.

Good reading !

Opening my eyes sharply, I jumped while strong blows were given on the thin wooden door of dormitory number 4. Taking a look round the room, I realized that I was once again the only one still lying in a bed. The blows rang again on the door. I snorted, taking the blanket to hide below. I knew what date it was and I did not want to get out of bed ! 

What would it have served, anyway? 

It's not as if the same thing happened three times a year for sixty years ! Today, we, the residents of the Refuge, would go to Auska Square and there, a soldier would read us a list with the first names of the chosen ones. When the person's first name was mentioned, she was then taken to an unknown destination to fill a role. In the best case, to serve in a rich family or work in a business. In the worst... I did not prefer to think about it.

- Get up Cersheb or you'll be late for the rally ! Exclaimed a voice behind the door, after further blows on the wood.

I moaned for good measure, then I decided to get up. I had to be quick to prepare myself ! While searching under the bed, I grabbed the package containing the few clothes and trinkets I had amassed over the years. I grabbed a garment at random. I frowned at the smell of crumpled fabric, but it was the only "clean" thing I had. By closing my things, I did not bother to look at my appearance in the slightly broken mirror hanging on the wall. I did not have time to make myself a little presentable. I adjusted the necklace in Helril around my neck, even if it did not change the discomfort that offered me the "jewel". When I opened the wooden door, I found myself face to face with one of my friends in dormitory.

-You have been slow, Cersheb ! Exclaimed Haryav, fists on the hips. You even missed breakfast !

I just shrugged in response. I also rolled my eyes on the nickname that everyone had given me and that had stuck to my skin since I arrived here. But I did not correct my friend for that, I was used to it.

-It's not with a tiny bowl of wheat porridge and a glass of milk that I'm going to eat anyway, I said. And it leaves to others, the little ones need it much more than me.

Haryav frowned but said nothing. The young blonde with green eyes knew that I was right. In truth, my stomach was too tight to swallow anything. Haryav was fifty years younger and smaller. She barely reached the height of my shoulders when I was already not very tall myself. Going down the creaky stairs to the ground floor, Haryav asked with fear:

-You think that many of us will be chosen ?

-Honestly... I do not know, Haryav. But if that's the case, I hope you're destined to become a domestic or a seller in a good shop...

He observed a moment of silence as we approached a group of girls gathered in front of the front door. They were all disciplined in pairs under the severe but nevertheless maternal eyes of Big Sister Osvarda. Still in silence, Haryav and I stood in line to close the march. Big Sister Osvarda, after seeing us join the group, gave us the last instructions. She was a former resident of the Refuge and had taken over the position of former director. She was a very beautiful woman with long auburn hair and black almond eyes.

-Well, ladies, you know the rules. You stay in line with your partner, you do not say a word when we leave the passage to reach the Auska Square and you keep your eyes on the ground. Is that clear ?

We responded to everyone in chorus.

-Yes, Big Sister Osvarda !

The woman shook her head with satisfaction, even though the glimmer of life disappeared from her eyes. Big Sister Osvarda always seemed to have big pebbles in her belly at every rally in Auska Square. And it was understandable. Who would have liked to see the children that you had practically raised being forced to leave the only house they knew once again ? 

Soon we left the Refuge and quickly found ourselves in the long underground passage that connected it to the city center, specifically to Auska Square.

Still crossing the passage after twenty minutes, Haryav turned in my direction and spoke in a trembling voice.

-Cersheb, I'm scared...

-It's normal, it's your first gathering, I say, trying to reassure her. But do not worry, I do not think you'll leave for Huzza Tower.

Haryav had a long shudder of anguish, as if a curse had been launched against the simple name of the tower. In front of us, Mirdwim and Hilfallura jumped and turned to me, looking at me angrily.

-Do not talk about the tower ! Hilfallura moaned, clutching his jaw.

-You will learn to listen to others' conversation. But... Sorry, it's gone without doing it on purpose...

-It's easy to say, Cersheb ! Mirdwim hissed with displeasure. Since my arrival at the Rafuge, you have not been chosen once and you know why ? Because you were born Risnes !

-Mirdwim !

Hilffallura and Haryav exclaimed at the same time to reprimand our comrade. She widened her eyes and turned red peony as she apologized to me. I did not take into account his nasty comment, Mirdwim was right and then the Huzza tower always got everyone on their nerves. Not once in sixty years have I been chosen at a rally. I had neither the gift of the sun nor that of the moon. It was rare, but Sidra's children were born without a gift. These children, we called them the Risnes and that's what I was. In short... Without a minimum capacity of my people, I was rather useless in the eyes of this kingdom. 

If there was no Helril necklace around my neck, it would have been possible for me to pass for a normal human child if we were an exception to my age.

The situation of a child Risnes was quite arbitrary. Some were born with a small capacity that allowed them to bleed very little ammolite. Others had a long life (longer than that of a human, but much shorter than that of a Sidra in full possession of its means). And for the poor, they will do absolutely nothing. Risnes without any talent had the misfortune of being of a horribly fragile consistency and their lifespan was as short as that of an ordinary human being. When a child Risnes no gift would die, it turned into dust of stars that ended up being sown by the wind ... For my part, I inherited a long life, but that was all. That's why I was the eldest of the Refuge, nobody wanted me.

An atrocious silence as we arrived at the end of the long and narrow passage. It ended with an outside staircase. We were then dazzled by the sunlight. Some of my comrades, including Hilfallura and Hariav, sigh with satisfaction as they feel the golden rays on the skin of their faces. Even with the Helril necklace, they could still feel the benefits and their connection to the sun. They were lucky. For my part, I did not feel anything at all except a slight warming on my skin...

By a whisper, Big Sister Osvarda beckoned us to get on a podium placed in the middle of the square, especially for that, and made us respect a more or less orderly order. I usually ride on this stage watching the curious crowd and interested parties. But I still feel like the last fashion accessory for Mermortiens. It was like a sort of competition for whoever would have the most beautiful and powerful Sidra at their service. The group waited silently on the square, staring at the floor, as we had learned from a very young age. We waited a few more minutes, when suddenly a sound of metal steps crashed on the sidewalk as he approached. Finally, the noise stopped and a loud and disdainful voice rose in the crowd, right in front of the stage.

-Sidra, are your wards fifty to seventy years old ? The soldier said, glancing at Big Sister Osvarda, a small roll of parchment under his arm.

-Yes, my Lord...

The armored man nodded with satisfaction, then unrolled his little roll of parchment. From the top of my place on the stage, I glanced between my eyelashes to the newcomer. He seemed to be swimming in his military paraphernalia and had a rather ridiculous mustache that he seemed to wear with pride. He also seemed to be new to this post because he had a shining armor of a thousand shines under the rays of the day. 

His promotion was to be fresh. The man glanced at us quickly before clearing his throat to read. I looked down just in time ! If I had met his eyes, I was sure he would have taken it as a challenge and I would have been good to be hanged by the feet while I was dragged around the city for me to humiliate publicly !

-I will now call the names of the selected girls and the selected ones will advance to the podium. Well, I'm starting ... Taryav, daughter of Aürimel !

Hmm... I have by far preferred the former soldier responsible for the call. She may have been old, but at least she read the list without flaying a single name and did not take three minutes to appear in her soft-eyed armor when a group of women crossed the square ! The call lasted for a moment that seemed endless, pushing six girls (among whom was Mirdwim) to the podium, trembling with terror, their balls clasped in their hands.

-... And finally, Talil, daughter of Saewe !

This name was mine and I was so surprised to hear it at that moment that I was half frozen, in shock. It took me a few more seconds to get it right, as well as the intervention of another girl who pinched my back skin just behind me to move me ahead of the stage with the others.

-I was chosen... I thought, throat knotted.

It had been so long since I had not heard of my own name or that of my mother... I had become so used to being called Cersheb that it was strange to hear my name again. Feeling the weight of the glances in the back, I glanced at Big Sister Osvarda and my comrades. They seemed as shocked as me, as if they had never imagined the day I could be chosen. I thought... I do not know, I was going to go unnoticed for this gathering and go back to the Refuge with the rest of the boarders. Like always. The soldier rechecked his list and the number of girls, then ordered us not to step on the podium and announced the departure for our new "houses". We were two by two, waiting for our new chaperon to tell us to follow him. Instead, we started walking down an adjacent street, but we were stopped by a very recognizable voice in my ears.

-Wait ! Exclaimed Osvarda in a trembling voice. May I say goodbye to my boarders, please ? Your predecessor has always given me a minute to say goodbye...

-I do not have time for...!

Not listening to the end of the man in armor, I ran into the arms of the auburn woman! I wanted her to hug me one last time before diving into the unknown ! Soon, my comrades joined me to shake our former guardian in our arms. For many of us, Osvarda was the most of a mother or a big sister, it was hard to leave her like that overnight.

. -Stay here ! Barked the man, shaking his mustache with annoyance.

Osvarda glanced rather frightened at the man, but we still hugged him a second time. She murmured words of love, encouragement, and comfort in the virlanman (sidra language), which was the forbidden language. We had all the tears in our eyes while Osvarda was waving us to queues before aggravating the situation. It was particularly painful for me to stand in line as I held back tears about to flow from my eyes. Each of us shook hands with his partner to show his support. I still felt sick when we finally left Auska Square and the only place where I felt safe was moving away from me.