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kalliopeia · 2 years ago

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Daisuke Takahashi - Cutting Edge 2005

Congratulations to Kana and Daisuke for an amazing performance at Worlds! I'm so glad they finally managed to skate a program that they're happy with, in front of the home crowd.

When I first heard that Phantom of the Opera would be Kanadai's FD this season, I was skeptical. But it made for an amazing story. I still remember 2007 Worlds so vividly -- I tuned in to the live audio stream of British Eurosport at 4am (there was no video stream back then!) and cried with happiness when Daisuke won the silver medal. I never imagined that another lifetime later, he'd be skating to Phantom at Worlds again, this time as an ice dancer.

The legacy that Daisuke has left on the sport is undeniable. Mark Hanretty said during the ISU broadcast that so many of the 180 competitors at Worlds cited Daisuke as an inspiration. It's pretty incredible that even after becoming a two-time World Champion, Shoma stated that he still wants to be able to give a performance like Daisuke.

The first interview I ever read from Daisuke was from Cutting Edge 2005, where he said that he hopes that his skating will remain in people's hearts in the future. It's so heartwarming to know that has come true.

I translated this interview and posted it on FSUniverse in 2006. The site I used to host the original translation is gone now, but sometimes I still see parts of the interview quoted in various places. Here's the full interview and scans of from the original book.

Daisuke Takahashi Surging Brilliance and Passion (Translated from Cutting Edge 2005)

At the age of 16, he obtained the honor of becoming Japan's first men's Junior World Champion. The boy who was expected to become the ace of the next generation turns 20 this season. He has fluid skating, splendid footwork, and a natural spark that captures the hearts of spectators. If he conquers his competitive weakness, he has the ability to become the World Champion. Not a former Junior World Champion, but a true World Champion someday. A firm goal can be seen before his passionate gaze.

Those effortless jumps in exhibitions, those intense steps. If only he showed that energy in shows in competition... Daisuke Takahashi, who always makes people nervous, was even more lackluster than usual in the first half of the 2004-2005 season. In the Grand Prix Series' Trophee Eric Bompard, he was in third place after the short program, but fell four times in the free and ended up eleventh. At the important Japanese Nationals, he finished a nightmarish sixth. What happened to him in the critical pre-Olympics season?

Where did the passion for skating go?

"Last year... I hated skating. I didn't want to do it. I had an injury, but it wasn't very serious, so that wasn't the reason. Why... I don't know, but I hated being on the ice. In practice, I'd think, 'I've already skated for 30 minutes,' but not even 10 minutes had passed... When I skated, time somehow felt longer. My feelings weren't into it at all.

When I got injured in September and took a break for a while, I thought, I've done nothing but skating up until now. All through high school, I had gone from school to the rink. I'd go to school and practice in Okayama, and then go to Osaka on the weekends to practice. ...With that kind of lifestyle, I never had any fun. I didn't know how to have fun.

Then in April I started college and moved to Osaka. My environment changed, and I became more independent. When you can take care of your everyday life and school matters on your own, your perspective changes, right? So then I thought... 'Is it okay for me to only focus on skating?' But even though I thought I'd do other things, in the end I didn't do anything. I still felt that I had to skate. But when I went to the rink, I didn't want to skate at all. I neither skated well, nor had any fun doing other things. If I couldn't participate in the special training camp... I definitely would've quit skating. The reason I didn't quit was because I was at the level where I couldn't quit by my own will. That's all. But anyway, my feelings of hatred towards skating were really strong last year..."

Due to his major environment change, he began to question his life of solely skating. In the 2004-2005 season, Daisuke Takahashi wholly felt the difficulty of the sport of figure skating, where mental doubts show up in one's skating itself. But he did not end his career like this, for he is the man who went as far as becoming the Junior World Champion.

"But those feelings finally subsided when I finished sixth at Nationals in December. I thought, ah, the season is over now. Strangely, when I thought that, the turmoil disappeared. Then after Nationals was the Medalists on Ice show. I was called to participate even though I was sixth, and at first I didn't want to go. 'I'm not a medalist, so I won't go!' I said. But my coach Nagamitsu-sensei told me, 'Go anyway,' so I went reluctantly. But it turned out to be really fun! I skated to Secret Garden's 'Nocturne,' a song I chose myself. The program was a very simple one that I also choreographed myself. Since the shows were right after Nationals, I was tired after the first of the three. But as I skated, they became more and more fun. I skated happily for an audience with a program I chose and created myself! From then on, I was gradually able to think once again that skating really is fun."

Along with his recovered feelings, his skating visibly regained its spark. In Medalists on Ice, he showed unbelievable jumps and skating that made spectators think, "This is the sixth place finisher?" At the beginning of the new year, he placed first at the Universiade, and finished on an international podium again with a third place at the Four Continents Championships. Unable to maintain his good results, he finished fifteenth at the World Championships, but even so, his revitalized expression after the season's end was like a different person's.

"So last season was the season where I grew to hate skating once, but then became able to love it again. Because that happened last year, my feelings this year are different. Of course, practices are still tiresome, but I'll never slog through them reluctantly like last year. I practice decisively now with refreshed feelings. So every day, when I'm done practicing, I feel good. I don't know how that'll turn out in competition, though. (laughs)

But the biggest difference from last year is that I don't just 'wish' in competitions now. My thoughts last year like, 'I wonder if I can land this jump, it'll be nice if I can,' were merely 'wishes.' But this year, I don't wish; I have strong feelings of, 'I'll land it' or 'I won't fail.' I've practiced to have that kind of confidence this year!"

Those new feelings have already appeared on the ice. At the Japan International Challenge in October, he defeated foreign skaters and placed second! The voices of, "I want to see Daisuke in Torino!" continue to build.

Daisuke Takahashi's Craftsmanship

He captivates spectators with his beautiful skating, and excites them with his triple axels and quadruple jumps. When he sends his strong gaze to the audience, his steps have even more force. When he's on, Daisuke Takahashi is almost unrivaled. Many fans had been waiting anxiously for him, thinking, "I wanted to see this kind of male skater!" Just how was this kind of skater born?

"When I was little... I was weak, and I hated going to school. (laughs) My parents were worried about me, so they made me try many different sports. I have three older brothers, and all of them did Shaolin Kung Fu. But Shaolin is painful, isn't it? I hate pain. It's scary! At first I thought about doing hockey, which is also skating, but I couldn't do it because I was scared of getting hit in the chin. I really am a coward. (laughs)

Other than martial arts and hockey though, I originally thought gymnastics might be good. But the gymnastics place was far away in inner Okayama, so it would've been difficult for my mother to drop me off and pick me up there. So I tried skating thanks to a friend's suggestion, and it was really fun!

What about skating was fun... I can't remember anymore. I don't remember what about it was fun at all, but anyway, it was fun. I didn't take skating lessons with the intention of becoming a serious athlete, or because I admired anyone. I just started it normally, without thinking about anything. When I was little, I used to joke around saying, 'I'm going to skate in the Olympics!' but it really was just a joke. I skated really contentedly just thinking of it as a hobby.

But... when I won Junior Worlds in my first year of high school, I thought, 'I have to do this as a serious athlete' for the first time. That I can't just do this as a hobby. I felt that I had to become a responsible athlete. To think that... shouldn't have been so difficult. But after Junior Worlds, I was completely awful in seniors, right? I might've tried too hard to become serious after skating as a hobby for so long... No, I didn't try hard enough to be able say that (laughs), but these past few years, I tried too hard with only my feelings. With those feelings accumulating for so long... last year, I just thought, 'I don't want to skate anymore.'

But even though I say that, it's not that grandiose of a story! When I talk about it like this, it sounds exaggerated. (laughs)"

Skating fixations, style fixations

The boy who attracted great expectations due to his talent and potential forgot his feelings of "Skating is fun" and "I love skating" somewhere down the line. But now that he has remembered that important something, he is able to laugh away all the hardships he has had. One can also see his relaxed attitude towards skating.

"Truthfully, there aren't really any skaters that I aim to be like. Of course, I like certain parts about skaters; for example, I want Nobunari-kun's flexibility. But this year I've been working on my flexibility, so I've become a little more flexible! Also, I want Jeffrey Buttle's transitions. His transitions between elements and connection to the music are really amazing. There are various skaters whom I want to steal things from like that, but none of whom I think, 'Everything about him is great!' Because Takahashi's ideals are high. (laughs)

But there's the actor Joe Odagiri, right? I love him! I love his atmosphere. He has this mysterious air about him that other people don't have, right?

I admire that mysterious charm, so although I'm not trying to imitate Odagiri-san, I'd like to show that kind of charm that attracts both men and women in my skating. Do I think I'm handsome? I've never been conscious about that kind of thing! No, I don't, I don't. (laughs) I'm trying to become handsome, though! Because out of the four brothers in my family, I'm the plainest. I don't look like my three older brothers at all. Ah, I think the second eldest has gotten a little chubby lately, and has become a little dirty looking?

My brothers never talk about skating. Their attitude is, 'Why don't you just do what you want?' Though they do cooperate with me... Generally, my brothers don't watch my skating. (laughs) But it's easier that way. Isn't it easier to go home and not talk about skating? We talk about completely unrelated things, like they ask me, 'Have you gotten any presents from girls?'

Since I have those brothers, I'm not popular at all. (laughs) I'm bad with girls. Actually, I think girls are scary. (laughs) My skating friends are fine, but... I'm bad with girls I like. I can't talk to them at all. But I look okay with long hair, right? Didn't I look better when I had long hair? My choreographer in America, Nikolai, cut my current hair! Though, I had planned for a better hairstyle...

There's that much of a difference between my normal self and my skating self?

No, there's no difference. I'm always like this. But when I'm on the ice... I like people watching me. I want everyone to watch me. Starting from practice, I want people to watch me, not other skaters. I might really want to stand out! So when I come to Nobeyama, I skate while conscious of people around me. Anyway, I want to become really famous!

I want to become a skater that everyone in Japan knows. So I think of Miki Ando as my rival. (laughs) Though we haven't really become rivals at all. Huh, this interview is going to become a book? The picture you just took will be the cover? Seriously? I'll buy it when it comes out! You'll send me one? Yay!"

To Torino, with Nikolai Morozov's programs!

He says there's no difference between his off-ice and on-ice persona. But when this friendly young man stands on the ice, he turns into the ultimate entertainer who draws all eyes to him. Mysteriously, he shows us a completely different Daisuke Takahashi. But that's probably the Daisuke Takahashi who mischievously thinks, "I want to stand out, I want to attract people's attention." This year, a new choreographer who helps to bring out his entertainer quality even more joined Takahashi's team.

"My choreographer this year is Nikolai Morozov. At first, I thought about asking Lori Nichol. But when Nagamitsu-sensei suggested, 'How about Morozov?' I thought, 'Ah, that might be good...' Right when I heard Morozov's name, I thought, 'That might be good.' Just based on my feelings, I thought Nikolai might be better than Lori. I'd never had choreography done by either of them before. When I was with Tatiana [Tarasova] last year and the year before, Nikolai had already split from her. So that's how I went to Morovoz's place in America for the first time this year... There was no need to give him my opinions at all. I'm plenty satisfied with what he created! Since Nikolai's ideas just came flowing out one after the other, rather than telling him, 'I want to do this,' at first I had trouble trying to see how well I could do what he asked of me.

After Nikolai made my programs in America, he also looked after my practices... Nikolai used to be an ice dancer, so there are a lot of dancers around him like Ukraine's Grushina/Goncharov and Russia's Kulikova/Markov... Besides getting choreography, I learned a lot of things by watching Nikolai's practices with them. In Japan, the rink I used to skate at closed down, and the rink I skate at now is hard to commute to. But I was able to practice in a good environment this year thanks to my connection to Nikolai. Since I was able to practice well in the off-season, I don't want to lose to Nikolai's choreography! My free program this year is Rachmaninov's Piano Concerto, so I don't want to lose to Rachmaninov's music either! I want to show my own interpretation of it."

The Morozov programs he chose by intuition fit him perfectly. They are dramatic and sensational. In 2005-2006, the Olympic season arrives, as if it had been waiting for his mental growth and new choreographer. If he makes it, it will be his first Olympics. What kind of skating does he intend to show us?

"I haven't had many performances that I've truly been satisfied with. The only ones I can say were really good are this year's free program from the Universiade and the short program from the World Championships in Germany. And, well, the performances that I won Junior Worlds with. That's about it. Those are the only ones I think were 'complete' performance-wise, regardless of the jumps.

In competitions, I'm always overwhelmed. When I skate, I don't think about anything. When I receive applause during the steps I'm happy that the audience is cheering me on, but I can only feel like that for a split second during the performance. This is different in shows and exhibitions. Because I can be at ease with feelings like, 'It'd be nice if both the audience and I have fun.' That's why Dreams on Ice wasn't bad.

But this year, I want to have more satisfying performances in competition! My goal is to go to the Olympics, and I'm aiming for... the podium! I want to have a goal that's at least that high. (laughs) Everyone is serious this year aiming for the Olympics, which only one person can go to. Of course, I'm aware of the others. Even if we practice together, I don't dislike anyone. So if someone else goes instead of me, I want to cheer him on. I want to fight everyone without any bad feelings. But of course, other people have nothing to do with my own skating. So even above that, I want to have my own goals. I'll continue working on my flexibility, becoming more flexible little by little over the next four years, towards my final goal of Vancouver. I'm thinking of Torino as a stepping stone... but without abandoning my feelings of wanting to medal. If I'm lucky, that is. (laughs)

In Vancouver... it'd be nice if I could become the Olympic Champion. I want not only the people who watch at that time, but also young skaters way in the future, when I become an old man, to see my skating. My goal is to become good enough so that people will watch videos of me and say, 'Daisuke Takahashi was really good.' So that my skating will remain in the hearts of people who watched the Olympics. So that it will resonate in their hearts, no matter how many years pass. In order to make my skating have that kind of worth... Takahashi skates today!"

This was the interview he gave during the training camp. After we finished talking, he headed straight to the rink. His extremely serious appearance while skating, and his bright appearance while joking with friends... Hiding his tough heart with a smile, to Torino, to Vancouver. His journey continues. And someday, everyone in the world, not just Japan, will surely know of Daisuke Takahashi.

#daisuke takahashi #kana muramoto #kanadai #worlds 2023 #figure skating

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everlasting-elegy · 3 years ago

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Hi! Congratulations!! I'm truly happy for you!!

So— for your event, may I please request ❤️ + Yuta Aoi? Thanks in advance!

Thank you!! Not gonna lie, I dunno about this one, lads. I’ve studied Yuta’s wiki page down to each letter and found as many translations about him and I just can’t pin him down. Still, I hope you enjoy, dear anon and everyone else who reads~

Yuta Aoi x Reader: One Day I'll Say How Much I Love You (500 Followers Event)

❤️ Prompt: “I like you. No, that’s a lie. The truth is I really love you.” Genre: Fluff Word Count: 1.6k

Yuta doesn’t know how his brother can do it. How he can say such words so freely, likely because there is no double meaning in his words. When you bid goodbye to the twins, Hinata didn’t spare a second to obnoxiously shout at your turned figure.

“Love you, (Y/N)-chan!”

Both you and Yuta turned to Hinata. The surprise was clear on your face but you only laughed heartily as you responded in kind. Then there was the silence. Yuta could’ve sworn it lasted for years, a tangible heaviness that pressed down on his chest. Your gaze was on Hinata but the way your body and face was angled towards Yuta told him what you were hoping for. For Hinata, such an exclamation was a pure expression of platonic love, there was nothing deeper to consider. But for Yuta… he could never say such words without betraying how he really felt. The words were stuck in his throat as even Hinata turned to him with raised eyebrows and a cheeky grin. He needed to say something, anything. He tried to speak but stuttered, he then cleared his throat only to stumble over his words again.

“Get home safe!” Yuta said quickly. He didn’t miss how your shoulders dropped, nor how his heart dropped with it. You smiled back, reciprocating the same sentiment before leaving. When you were out of earshot, Yuta’s posture slumped and he let out a sigh of despair as his brother patted his back sympathetically.

“Let me show (Y/N)-chan just how much we care about them until you can bring yourself to do it too!”

Hinata offered a reassuring smile but the solemn look Yuta sent back told him he was anything but comforted. It just wasn’t the same. He wanted to be the one to say such words to you, he wanted to receive your smile and he wanted you to say those words back.

Alas, it wasn’t going to happen anytime soon as Yuta struggled through every single goodbye and compliment meanwhile you and Hinata had the strength to use that dreaded phrase that Yuta could barely choke out. Hinata was nothing but understanding as he consoled his little brother as he could do nothing but reply with lackluster alternatives for the next few weeks.

“G-Goodbye, (Y/N)!”

“You look… uh… super, cool! Yeah…”

“You’re really neat, (Y/N)-chan!”

With every strained smile you returned, Yuta just wanted the earth to swallow him whole. He needed to fix this, he needed to be able to say it to you. That word, it was only four letters and a single syllable, it had no right to be this hard to get his lips around. And so, Yuta was left with no option but to stand in his dorm’s bathroom, practicing to say what Hinata could say to you, word for word.

“Love you, (Y/N)-chan!” No, trying to match his brother’s energy felt too forced.

“Love you, (Y/N)-chan.” No, the tone was too dull.

“Love you, (Y/N).” It sounds like he’s actually trying to confess, he has to play this off as casual and platonic!

“You know, you have to begin with ‘I’ or else they’re not going to take the confession seriously.”

Yuta could only stare at his roommate Kaoru in horror as he stood at the doorway. There wasn’t even time for Kaoru to chuckle before he promptly received a door to the face.

But with enough time, dedication, and a pep talk in front of the mirror, Yuta could do it. On a sunny afternoon, skies crystal clear and the birds singing their praises for him, the world was encouraging him to say the faithful phrase as you parted ways from the twins.

“Love you, (Y/N)-chan,” Yuta waved at you, his sentence finishing with a heavy exhale. Hinata stifled a cheer as you turned back to look at Yuta. He couldn’t breathe as he succumbed to your gaze but he wasn’t going to complain. The way the edges of your eyes crinkled as you offered him a dazzling smile.

“Love you too, Yuta!”

That single phrase was one he burned into his memory to replay whenever he needed it. Your voice carrying with the wind as you freely proclaimed your affection for him, this could be one of the happiest days in his life!

So why did the weight in his chest never leave? Why did his heart still tighten as you turned your back to him and headed home? Why did his brother's encouraging smile only make him feel more bitter?

The next day, after a sleepless night, Yuta had nothing to do but sulk in his dorm. Hinata had asked you to watch him practice and Yuta usually joined but he was in no mood to see the two of you get along so freely. Every once in a while, his heart felt so unbearably heavy he had to let out a whine as Kaoru and his other roommate, Nagisa, watched over curiously. They had tried to approach him but Yuta was adamant that he was okay. What else could he say? He wasn’t even sure why he felt so upset, having nothing else to do but hope that this melancholy phase would pass. With nothing else to do, Yuta tuned in to Kaoru and Nagisa's voices as they struck up conversation.

“Say, Nagisa,” Kaoru stated rather loudly, projecting his voice for all in the room to hear. “Are you having any romantic struggles?”

“... what?” Yuta could hear Nagisa’s frown in his confused tone. “Of course not-”

“Yes you are, I can see it in your face.”

“What’s on my face-?”

“You know what advice I give to my dear juniors with romantic struggles?”

“I'm not even your junior... oh. No, I don’t know what advice you would give. Do enlighten me.”

“Just confess.”

Yuta lifted his face from the pillow, only to see Kaoru and Nagisa still watching him. With the knowing smirk on Kaoru’s face and the firm nod Nagisa offered Yuta, it was clear Nagisa wasn’t who this conversation was for.

“Even if rejection hurts, even if just getting the words out to confess is hard, it’ll be worth it. If you don’t confess, you’ll be constantly held back by doubt and insecurity. It’s too painful to bite back what you want to say or to cover it up, so just let it all out.”

“That sounds like excellent advice, Kaoru.”

Could that really be it? The reason why his stomach won’t stop churning, the reason why he feels so solemn despite his heart not being broken. Being able to bid you goodbye wasn’t enough, he still had so much to say to you. Standing up, Yuta threw his pillow away and silently left the dorms, leaving Nagisa and Kaoru alone.

“... is it still on my face?”

“... huh?”

Shoes slamming against concrete, Yuta ignored the inquisitive glances of the other idols he ran past. You and Hinata should still be practicing at the studio, he should be able to make it in time. Ignoring the lactic acid building up in his joints, every stair he climbed becoming more painful and seemingly larger than the last. One step at a time he was getting closer to you, getting closer to what he needed to say…

The studio door swung open with a bang as it rebounded off the wall. You turned away from Hinata to see Yuta standing by the doorway, chest heaving, face red as he stared at you with wide eyes.

“I love you, (Y/N).”

Yuta couldn’t help but feel satisfied at how you looked so lost for words, your widening eyes looking away from him. His sweet revenge, this was what you got for taking his breath away for so long.

“D-don’t we say those sort of things as a goodbye?” You asked with a nervous chuckle.

“That’s not enough,” Yuta replied. “I can’t keep saying it like we’re friends. The truth is, I really love you. I don’t want to just say it in passing, I want to say it to you honestly and seriously.”

Pacing up to you, Yuta clasped your hands in his, emerald eyes shining in hope. “I love you. Please, can I be your boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

You didn’t waste a second to pull him into an embrace, Yuta eagerly pressing his body against yours. As one of your hands laced through his orange locks, another reached down to intertwine your fingers with his. His cheek against yours, his ear was right by your lips to whisper an ‘I love you’ back. You didn’t miss the way he positively buzzed at your confession, letting out a giggle as he pulled his face away to brush his lips against your cheek.

“Guess you’re going to practise with my cutest little brother now, what a shame~” Hinata sighed melodramatically, making you yelp in surprise, completely forgetting he was still in the room. You tried to step back but Yuta held onto you, rooting you to the spot in front of him. Hinata laughed as he bid the two of you goodbye, skipping out of the room.

“I love you, (Y/N)-chan,” Yuta confessed again, with a slight tug of his arms to bring your attention away from the doorway and back to him. Finally, the thorns that gripped his heart had withered away, he felt like he was soaring the more he held onto you. There was no more uncertainty, no fear of rejection, just all the words he was waiting to say to you, now free after being imprisoned in his heart.

500 Followers Event Masterlist

Ensemble Stars!! Masterlist

#ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #yuta aoi x reader #yuta aoi #ensemble stars #enstars #enstars fluff #ensemble stars fluff #everelegy enstars #everelegy writes

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whosscruffylooking · 4 years ago

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The Purest Things-A New Home

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

a/n: this is a repost considering it didn’t show up in any of the tags yesterday. have i mentioned how much i despise tumblr sometimes :) again, i want to give a special shoutout to @avengersbau for giving me a second set of eyes on this one.

word count: 2k

warnings: canon-typical violence and descriptions of injury.

The Purest Things Masterlist

gif is not mine! credit goes to @hqtchner

au! october 2007

Bookend: “It’s never too late to become who you want to be. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

++++

"I am SSA Hotchner. Welcome to the team Agent Y/L/N," his voice reminds you of the transatlantic accents of Hollywood stars of old. The kind you used to hear in the old black and white movies you would watch as a child.

"It's an honor to be here sir," you stare directly into his brown, soulfully deep eyes.

"J.J., get us started, please," SSA Hotchner suggests.

Sitting down, you look to the screen that displays the frightful footage of bombs detonating in various locations.

"Yesterday, an 81-year-old woman was severely injured when a bomb exploded in the toilet of a women's restroom," J.J. informs.

"Interesting spot to hide a bomb," Agent Prentiss sneers.

Jennifer flips through the slides and shows another bombsight located in a subway station, "Last year a similar bomb that had been attached to a phone box detonated. No outstanding injuries were reported. However, the bombs' similar makeup alerted detectives to dig into other bombings throughout the years. They have positively identified attacks over the past twelve years as perpetrated by the same bomber."

Spencer adds, "His M.O. is similar to George Peter Metesky, better known as the Mad Bomber. He terrorized New York City over a period of 16 years. He planted bombs in theaters, subway stations, libraries, and offices. They were left in phone booths, storage lockers and restrooms."

"Do you think we are looking at a copycat?" Derek questions.

"If we are, we need to stop him soon," declared David.

"He's escalating-becoming bolder and more vicious," you say, scanning the report.

"Tell Boston we can be there by 9:30," Hotch notifies J.J...

++++

"It seems like he's a textbook paranoid schizophrenic. People suffering from this disorder may think that other people are regulating them or plotting against them. They tend to be reclusive, antisocial, and obsessed Hwith hatred for their presumed enemies," you twist a loose string from your shirt around your finger, unwind it, then repeat the process.

It's a nervous tick you developed over the years that has worn down numerous tops before achieving their intended lifespan. You glance at Agent Hotchner, seeking a sign of approval. His eyes meet yours, and he poignantly nods.

Did I say too much? No. Don’t overthink this. They can probably smell fear.

"In his letters left at the bombsights, he uses words like 'broad' and 'chick' to signify women," Dr. Reid chimes in.

"Do you think the unsub is motivated by hostility towards women? "

"It's possible," he continues, "These speech patterns age him significantly, however. Phrases such as these were mainly used in the 30's, 40's, and 50's."

Agent Hotchner begins to delegate tasks before the jet lands, "Morgan and Reid, I want you to head to the bombsights and see if you can't work out the motive. J.J. and Prentiss talk to the victim's families, determine our victimology. Y/L/N, Rossi, and I will head to the precinct and familiarize ourselves with the lay of the land and see if we can't formulate a geographical profile."

++++

At the precinct, you observe Agent Hotchner's ability to singlehandedly transition an entire police force's obligation to under his jurisdiction.

"Captain Moreno, this is SSA David Rossi and SSA Y/F/N Y/L/N," the Unit Chief introduces you.

The captain tilts his head at you, "Aren't you a little young to be in the FBI? How old are you anyway?"

You nail him with a you're-full-of-crap look.

Everyone gets to be young once; your turn is over, old man.

Choosing to take the high road, you say, "I'd like to get my hands on the bombers handwritten notes. There has to be something in those letters that can give us a clue into the who, what, when, and where of this case."

Skeptical of your request, he narrows his eyes and looks to David and Agent Hotchner.

"You hear her," Dave exclaims, "Lead the way!"

Your enigmatic smirk no doubt gives away the great pleasure Dave's gibe brings you.

++++

"Agent Hotchner," you hand him your preliminary geographical profile. With his arms crossed, he intimidatingly peers into your research.

Don't burn a hole in my paperwork; I worked hard on that.

He is impressed by your work, taking in your comprehensive outline of proof that details the unsubs point of origin. For someone so young, your attention to detail puts even his most observant profilers to shame. "How did you come to this conclusion?"

"My family is from Chicago. When I was little, I used to read through my grandfather's old newspapers that he collected throughout the 1950's. On the jet, I knew some of the phrasings that Dr. Reid was using sounded familiar, so I cross-referenced it with some of the particular articles I remember from my childhood and found his wording to be exact iterations of the Chicago Crier."

Without taking his eyes off of the paperwork, he commends you, "Impressive use of your prior knowledge. Often, the information drilled into us through education is lackluster compared to that of real-world experience."

You turn to walk back to your makeshift desk when he calls out to you, "And Y/L/N, call me Hotch."

Your shoulders relax from the tension you hadn't even realized you'd been clinging onto, "Alright. Hotch."

++++

You immediately regretted your decision. In pursuit of the unsub, you had wandered off down an abandoned subway tunnel and cornered him.

"Harold Watts, FBI. Gently place the remote detonator on the ground," You shout. Grappling to keep your gun from slipping between your clammy palms, you grip the weapon tighter.

Ordinary people's first days of work are uneventful; they're given a series of mundane tasks at most. Me? Of course, my first day involves being secluded in a subway tunnel facing down a man decked from head to toe in explosives and wires.

"D-don't come any closer. I have my finger on the trigger! I'm not afraid to die, and I will not hesitate to take you up in flames with me," he stammers.

The stampede of footsteps, no doubt from your colleagues and half of the Boston police force, resonate through the echo chamber you're standing in. Watts spooks and loses his balance. You begin shouting for the people behind you to stand down.

"The tracks are live, one wrong step, and we all blow up. I repeat, stand down!"

Turning your attention back to Watts, you attempt to soothe his irrationality. You slowly return your gun to its holster, raising your hands up in surrender. Hotch yells something unintelligible from behind you, but your focus is on the unsub and trying to prevent any more casualties.

"Harold, let's just talk this through for a couple of minutes. My men behind me will leave us alone. It's you and me now. Before this, you never wanted to hurt yourself. You wanted to be heard. All of your life you felt like you were forced into the shadows, and you began to fester there in your pain and rage."

He tenses up; you have his attention now.

"Those girls who teased you and ripped your masculinity from you needed to be taught a lesson. But you didn't just stop there; you decided to do all women a favor and demonstrate to them the kind of pain they could cause, hoping to prevent them from making the same mistakes. In fact, you helped me to see what I can do better. I never want to make someone feel the way you did."

"Y-you learned that...f-from me?" Harold quietly sobs.

You nod, "Yes! Yes, Harold. And you can still be heard, but not if you die today. I could be your greatest advocate. If we walk out of here right now, think of how famous you could be. Harold, you will never be stuck in the shadows again."

It is crucial to your survival and your teams that you are brave just long enough to analyze the situation and keep your self-control. Panic won't do anyone any good right now.

Your mouth dries as you await Harold's next move. Suddenly, he hunches over, extending the hand gripping the detonator. Pausing for a moment to be sure he isn't making any drastic moves, you promptly hurry to his side and gently pull it from his clutch.

As the police officers and your colleagues rush to your aid, Harold looks up at you with hopeful eyes.

"Make me famous," he murmurs with a grin that churns your stomach.

Hotch ushers you away from the unsub, backing you up against the wall of the tunnel, "You actively defied my orders."

Searching every inch of his face for an accurate reading of his emotions, you are unsure of how to respond.

"I'd like to think it won't happen again," his eyes studying you just as intently.

You swallow hard, aware of the lump in your throat and take a deep breath, "You have my word, Agent Hotchner."

"Good," he affirms, eventually freeing his hold on your arm.

You let out a shaky sigh of relief and relax your spinning head against the wall.

Opening your eyes, you observe your new team tieing up all loose ends. They're safe. You are safe. Despite this first day not being as mundane as others, you wouldn't have it any other way. This feeling is what you signed up for, and it's already fulfilling you in ways you couldn't fathom before stepping inside the BAU office this morning.

++++

Aboard the jet, you tuck your legs underneath you and open up a book to read.

A cup of steaming hot coffee appears on the table in front of you.

Hotch sits across from you with a similar cup and offers you a subtle smile, "Impressive work out there today. I'm sorry your first day of work couldn't be more eventful."

A joke? I didn't take him as the joking kind.

Rolling your eyes, you put on a disappointed tone, "God...if you guys drag your feet like this every day, I might have to consider a transfer."

In a more serious nature, he asks, "How are you feeling?"

"Alright, I guess. You were right, you know, no amount of studying or lectures can truly prepare you for what it's like when you're staring into the eyes of a killer. I've learned the negotiation techniques and memorized the textbook 'put the gun down' speech, but all of that flies out the window when you're in the moment."

"You will find that improvisation at times is the key to success in this job. Just know that this team is a family. You will never face this alone or be at a loss for anything. Your career is in its infancy, but I can tell you have a long and triumphant journey ahead of you. We will do whatever we can to ensure that you are at home here and can use this team as an opportunity to refine your abilities. All I ask in return is that you work with us, not against us. You have nothing to prove. They see your resourcefulness. So do I. You are one of us now."

Some gazes are the promise of protection; his is all that and more. The words "at home" resonate in your mind. You've spent your whole life searching for a home, and here it is, its doors being opened to you. After a lifetime of running from place to place, perhaps this is where you can finally settle down.

"Get some rest," Hotch whispers to you. And with that, you lean your head against the chilled window and shut your eyes.

++++

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schrisnicholas · 5 years ago

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Black Fox - An Undercooked Burrito

The other day I went to chipotle,

I was excited because I hadn’t been in a while and I was really in the mood for a burrito. I waited in line and when I got to the front and saw all the ingredients it all looked so good, it made me a little more excited for what I was about to sit down and enjoy, but once I got my food and actually sat down to enjoy it I learned that looks could be deceiving, all of my excitement and joy dwindled down about fifty percent once I realized that the rice was undercooked. However, even though the rice was ruined the beans, chicken, salsa, and sour cream all still tasted wonderful and made up for an otherwise disappointing trip out for lunch. But... What if the Beans were undercooked too? What if everything else would have been as upsetting as the rice? Well, I would have hated my experience asked for a manager and complain about it.

Black Fox was a very similar experience for me, I Haven’t kept up with current anime in what feels like years and heck I’ve barely gone back to watch anything old in quite some time as well. But much like that burrito, the other night I began to crave the anime I used to consume daily. I created a new CrunchyRoll account and signed up for premium, the poster for Black Fox caught my eye and I actually thought the color, character designs, and art style looked really cool together. I knew nothing about it and at first thought, it was a series only learning it was a movie after seeing the length of the video and a quick google search. but if it wasn’t for that search I would’ve been incredibly confused. from the pacing of the story to the lackluster visuals I could have sworn I was watching a series, but the more I watched the more it felt like a series that was poorly edited down to a movie. I Won’t take the time to explain the plot, mainly because everything happened so fast without almost any explanation and the little bit of the story I could understand, and that’s not saying there was much to understand was so incredibly underdeveloped it would be hard to quickly describe so I’ll just leave a link here to the Wikipedia page you can read.

But the other reason is that this isn’t a review and it’s not meant to convince you if you should watch it or not, no I'm only writing this all out because after I was done watching I felt so strongly mixed that I had to do something I so rarely dare to do, read the comments.

I was amazed that for the most part, it received generally favorable comments. I was so shocked by this that I went to google only to find that at the time of typing this out it holds a 7.02/10 Star rating on MAL with a total of 11,305 ratings and a 6.3/10 out of 114 reviews on IMDB with 95% of google users saying they liked the movie.

Now I should take the time to make it clear before going forward that I didn’t hate Black Fox the same way I Didn’t hate that chipotle burrito. It wasn’t bad it just felt undercooked and like it was missing something. For example, I’ll start by saying the first problem is that this Anime feels like it’s having an identity crisis as to whether it’s a movie or a series, SAG Defines a feature-length film at minimum to be 80 minutes long, with Black Fox clocking in at a 90 minute run time it definitely meets that requirement but somehow manages to feel too short while dragging on because we as the audience are never properly introduced to any of the main characters apart from Rikka.

We are never shown the relationship between Allen and his former friends that led to Lauren’s jealously, Never shown exactly what Allen did before or why he created the drones beyond wanting to make friends for people? that’s what I got at least from the film's explanation. it’s never properly explained what Gradsheim does, and what makes that even more confusing is Allen at the beginning of the film telling Brad “you want to use them for war?” which he laughs at, then at the end of the film a reporter saying to brad that the company helped develop the city? their facility is heavily guarded and protected but we don’t know why or what they plan to use the drone research for? Lauren is never shown to be mentally stable at all so him becoming or already being crazy felt so empty since the only time we see Allen, Brad and Lauren together is in a picture where they both ALREADY look extremely evil??? In the same way, the relationship between Lauren and Mia is touched on so little, just like how beyond playing chess in one scene Mia and Rikka are never seen bonding or getting to know each other. Almost as soon as Rikka takes her in after they both refuse to kill each other they argue, Mia calls her father and stupidly believes he’ll turn himself in for killing Allen and Rikka’s Grandfather then in the next scene are attacked. and somehow within these three scenes, they share some kind of close bond? or at least that’s what it feels like they want us to believe from the final battle. now throw in that so little about their world or any of its characters are ever explained it makes it hard to care about anything happening in the film. And I refuse to even talk about Melissa because so little is ever explained or shown about her beyond finding out that she’s also a drone? which felt like a legitimate surprise but was never brought up ever again until the very end of the film.

I Even like some of the elements introduced in the story but since every element is just mentioned and never built upon it all feels useless, And that’s why it feels like a series more than a movie. Everything happens so fast and we move on before ever learning what just happened then we're introduced to something new in the next scene! If this was a series that had more time to slow down and have the audience understand what's happening I would have really enjoyed Black Fox. And That’s the major undercooked rice, everything else I was hoping to enjoy would have come from the visuals but sadly nothing about Black Fox truly stands out apart from a few frames I noticed mix into mostly boring and generic backgrounds and the end of the film, the aesthetic in the poster is only ever really present in the last two minutes of the film as well. However credit where credit is due I did really like the use of CG and I enjoyed Rikka, Mia and Melissa's character designs. It’s a shame though that we only really see their best designs as the movie closes. The animation also never really stood out apart from the action scenes but even then they’re nothing to write home about.

The movie ends on a cliffhanger but with no promise of a sequel or series in the future, I really can’t recommend Black Fox because while it left a lot to be desired with cool concepts, without any explanation those cool concepts become generic. Lauren could have been a fun villain if we would have learned anything about him, The final battle could have meant so much if any of these characters or we as the audience got to learn about them. Mia’s power is never explained and neither is Laurens, Allen dies before we ever get to care about him, The detective agency is only shown in one scene so Rikka’s boss giving her the building just feels like a way to give them a home at the last minute after we remember their home was destroyed. I Would love a fleshed out Black Fox, but the Black Fox we have isn’t laughably bad because there are shreds of good that aren’t explored but it isn’t good enough to where I can tell anyone to watch it as it is.

I Believe Jesus Christ said it best when talking about the church of Laodicea

“I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” - Revelation 3:15-16

#Black Fox #Anime #thoughts #blogging #crunchyroll #movie #review

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cupidsbower · 8 years ago

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I'm still living the life where you get home and open the fridge and there's half a pot of yogurt and a half a can of flat Coca-Cola. ~Alan Rickman

Supernatural 12x08 LOTUS, and 12x09 First Blood.

Okay, I’m just gonna be right up front with this -- I’m not a huge fan of either of these episodes. I thought maybe the slight feeling of meh I felt for 12x08 was just end-of-year tiredness, so I held off on the review and had a holiday. But I found 12x08 similarly meh, and also sexist and racist which needless to say I’m not keen on.

LOTUS

I thought having Lucifer possess the President was a fantastic concept, and I loved all the scenes with Lucifer acting that part -- they had some lovely resonances with current US politics that didn’t come over as trying to hard. I loved the nephilim plotline too, and look forward to seeing where it goes. Typical that a man-shaped being should take credit for creating life -- I laughed a lot at Lucifer’s hubris on that. He didn’t fall far from the tree, so to speak. That whole attitude fits in well with the gender themes that have been developing since Amara’s return. It also reaffirms my suspicions that Toni’s child is not-quite-human, and I hope that plot thread is picked up again soon too.

I was less thrilled with the stock-standard, “I can’t abort my baby,” thingo. I really wish an American show would go somewhere new with that and actually consider the option of abortion with some seriousness that doesn’t automatically default to it being unthinkable, even if the choice is then made not to. The default of “I can’t” is just so useless as a storytelling device. Why bother to have a nephilim plot and not actually wring all the drama out of it? (I know why, I’m just tired of it.) Anyway, this plot still has potential to rise above that moment of church-sanctioned sexism, so I’m in wait-and-see mode.

I also really liked the potential of the Winchesters ending up in government hands, given their history and the records that must still exist. But more on that when I get to First Blood.

There wasn’t much else I really liked. I suspect we’re seeing the consequences of so many new writers on the show this season, combined with Supernatural’s comparatively small budget. But the final act of the episode just felt off to me in subtle ways -- the action felt lackluster, there were too few agents checking things out, I didn’t buy the convenient timing of the arrest, or the splitting up of the team when it wasn’t really required. Little things in themselves, but they all added up -- a stronger writer could have masked them better. Meh. It had potential to be good, but it was just a bit wishy-washy instead.

First Blood

I will admit, I was pretty damn excited by this episode’s title. There’s so much media and political history associated with the Rambo movies, and so many ways they could have been invoked in the episode to excellent effect.

For a start, the very first film, First Blood itself, is about post-traumatic stress disorder in a combat vet, social isolation and poverty as a result of that, persecution at the hands of biased and totalitarian authorities, and the toll of toxic masculinity. It’s rich stuff, and a surprisingly good film all things considered. There’s a reason it spawned big-budget sequels, and the character of Rambo was co-opted in the Reagan era as a kind of masculine fantasy ideal.

There’s a strong resonance between all these things and the ongoing themes in Supernatural. Hence my excitement.

Sadly, though, the allusions to First Blood stayed at a pretty superficial level. Yes, we had persecution at the hands of totalitarian authorities, and we had Sam and Dean taking out a squad of soldiers in a forest. But... ugh, I don’t even really know where to start.

Okay, lets start with the taking soliders out thing. It’s meant to show us that Sam and Dean are actually hardened soldiers too, who have been fighting in a war since their twenties, and against opponents who hit far harder than any human soldier. Not only that, they have consistently won despite the odds being against them. It was on point that Crowley reminded us that he’s the only villain who has ever taken them seriously, and that everyone who doesn’t ends up dust. The Winchesters are scary, and the version we viewers see is the “fluffy” insider perspective, so it’s easy to forget just how hard-core they are.

It really isn’t out of the realms of possibility for Sam and Dean to take out a squad of special ops agents, and even to do it without actively trying to kill any of them, and for them to be chillingly efficient as they go about it. But as with the last episode, these agents came across more as Keystone Cops than what they are meant to be -- the cream of America’s secret ops working directly for the President. Are Sam and Dean hardened soldiers who can take on demons and angels and punch well above their weight, and so are far more competent than special ops agents once their paths do cross? Or are they just lucky to be fighting poorly trained also-rans? Mixed messages, show, very mixed messages.

I think I was so frustrated by this, because the episode didn’t start off quite so obviously making the agents ridiculous -- the “sit and stew in isolation” thing was genuinely solid, and made me wonder how long before the Winchesters cracked. So to fritter that tension away on a pretty ordinary action scene just felt unsatisfying. I was expecting something a bit closer -- uncomfortably so -- to Dean’s action sequences in Purgatory. That would have really rammed the message home that the Winchesters are serious business.

But that’s actually small potatoes as gripes go -- some writers just aren’t that great at action. It happens.

My biggest gripe for this episode came at the end. It was obvious from early on that Sam and Dean had made a deal. Okay, fine. I could have gone with that as an interesting complication. I was even interested to see the escalation of Mary throwing her hat in the ring of Winchester-self-sacrifice. We’ve all been expecting developments along those lines, so some foreshadowing here for a greater test later on was expected.

Mind you, I would have been super-astoundingly angry if they had fridged Mary again in this episode -- frothing at the mouth angry -- giving up the show angry. Her place in the myth-arc is too central to end her return in such a light-weight way. I’d honestly prefer if they never fridge her again, but at the very least, she deserves an actualised death that’s about her, and not her sons.

Like I say, I could have been interested in this set-up -- the complication of another deal, made in full knowledge of the price, and Mary showing us that Winchester self-sacrificial streak that has caused so much harm. But instead I’m just disappointed and cross. What the fuckety fuck are the writers thinking with this whole Billie and Castiel bullshit?

Let’s consider the best possible light first. Sam had his demon-blood arc, and Dean had his Mark of Cain arc, and a lot has been made of Castiel being a Winchester, so yes, alright. I guess. His previous dark-side path was made for the right reasons, as Raphael was about the re-start the apocalypse, and the Leviathan thing wasn’t really an active choice on his part. So there’s an argument to be made that Billie’ death is Castiel’s first blood, as it’s a murder for personal gain, instead of being the best of a bad lot of choices. In the best possible light, this is the first step of Castiel’s demon arc, and within the show we’ve learned that kind of path can really only be stopped and redeemed by love. It’s also an escalation of the plotline about Castiel’s post-traumatic stress disorder and isolation, which I’ve been waiting for. The show has never really dealt with the fact that angels run on faith, and Castiel is an angel who has not only rebelled against Heaven for Humanity, but has lost faith in his father. I’m as keen as the next person to see it acknowledged that he has an unhealthy dependence on his faith in Dean as a result. There are potentially good things being set up by this development, if it means we’re going to delve more into Castiel as a character.

But! But. But but butbutbut...

It felt like a cheat. Tell me it didn’t. You can’t right? It felt like the writer had written themselves into a corner and decided shock value was the best way out of it. I know, they thought to themselves, I’ll have Castiel murder someone because he’s feeling unloved! I bet they sniggered, deus ex machina, as they wrote the stabbing.

Ugh. I hate that kind of writing.

And if it were any other secondary character but Billie I might still be okay with it. But it was Billie, so I’m not. Billie offered the Winchesters a straight-up deal that they asked for. It’s been pretty clearly established ever since she was introduced that she’s a neutral supernatural force -- not someone like Zachariah who played fast and loose with the rules, or a demon like Ruby with her own covert agenda. Yes, her bailiwick is death, and that’s intrinsically scary, and she made no secret of being irritated by the Winchesters cheating it, either. But she was a straight-dealer despite that. SHE DID NOT DESERVE TO BE STABBED IN THE BACK.

Which isn’t even getting into the fact that she was a recurring black woman character. Killing her in such a way was just as shitty as Charlie’s death, and for many of the same kinds of reasons.

Even if they revive her (they fucking better) and bring her back pissed off and an antagonist, it won’t really make up for yet another black woman being killed off for plot convenience. Ugh.

UGH.

I’m also not really all that keen on this as a path for Castiel, despite my best-case reading above. It just feels like more of the same-old, instead of finding a new story to tell. :(

In short, I haven’t yet hit my NOPE limit with this move, but the show has some brownie points to earn in the next few eps in order to keep my interest. It’s officially on notice.

Not fridging any more women or other minorities would be a fucking good start.

Previously:

The Ministry of Information vs Wayward Sons Carrying On (12x01)

My, my, how can I resist you? (12x02) and follow-up about Bohemian Raphsody

So what am I so afraid of? (I think I love you) (12x03)

I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy Down in my heart (Where?) (12x04) and a follow-up about the codependency and about Dean’s self-flagellation and issues with space

There can be only one! (12x05), and a follow-up conversation with elizabethrobertajones on Freud vs Schwartz.

They shall fall by the sword: they shall be a portion for foxes (12x06)

Presenting the Immaculate Heart Reunion Tour (12x07)

#supernatural #season 12 #spoilers #meta #racism #misogyny #fridging #castiel #billie #dean winchester #sam winchester #mary winchester #lucifer #sexism

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