#laptops below $200

[hannieehaee]

ENDLESSLY

18+ / mdi

summary: despite not having a large audience, jungkook's camboy career prevailed with the hopes that someday he'd make enough money to finally leave his dead-end job. what happens when one of his admirers offers to make that dream come true?

content: camboy!jungkook x trustfundbaby!reader, jungkook is shy, jungkook is a faceless camboy with a very small audience, reader is younger than jk, kind of pathetic!jungkook, reader is rich and very confident, slowburn (kind of), afab reader, smut, camming, masturbation (m receiving), oral (f receiving), dry humping, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 12.7k

a/n: this really was just a spur of the moment fic that came to mind on a random thursday lol i hope u guys enjoy it!!

masterlist | kofi/patreon

support me through a one time tip<3

"Well, that's it for today guys, thanks for watching."

With an awkward chuckle, Jungkook reached out to his computer screen and shut the laptop closed, groaning just as he stopped being out of earshot.

233 viewers.

It wasn't much, but it was enough to give Jungkook the hope that maybe someday he'd be able to find pride in the number. Maybe his streams would blow up in views overnight one of these days – the hope prevailed. It had been a month since he hit the 200's, now garnering an average of 250 viewers per stream.

It was quite embarrassing to him sometimes. There were instances in which he'd finish a stream and regain full consciousness of his actions, becoming embarrassed at the knowledge of strangers watching him cum — of them hearing his voice and his whimpers as he played it up for their entertainment — and of him not even being able to make a living out of it.

He had to stay creative, sometimes finding scripts online that he'd read out to his viewers while he jerked off, playing the role of a subby coworker or a dominant childhood friend in order to keep his audience engaged (and maybe incite one or two to send money his way). Other times, he'd simply ramble about his life (but never get too specific) whilst he let himself lose control on camera.

Jungkook never once showed his face, only ever giving people glimpses at the tattoos decorating his arm and of his cock as it stood against his abs. The most he'd ever shown had been a small view of his lips before the camera's frame cut off.

He liked it this way.

In reality, he was too shy to ever be outspoken about doing such a thing, which was why no one in his life knew about it. He didn't judge anyone who enjoyed camming, but he was simply too self-conscious to do such a thing. Despite being aware of how handsome people thought him to be, he had never been too forward when it came to sex, much less this.

This had all started a little over a year ago, when he'd come across a few cammers on Twitter late into the night. Going on their accounts out of sheer curiosity, he realized that they each had a large following, not only on Twitter, but also on camming websites. Some of them even had their Patreons and PayPal accounts linked to their accounts, amassing even more revenue from these third party websites on top of their income from the camming sites. This was what mainly caught his attention.

Part of him felt bad about being on it solely for the money, but he was beyond desperate. And so he held the false hope that he'd somehow have the same luck as them and create an income out of this.

As someone who had only recently graduated university, having found no luck in his field, Jungkook had to resort to applying to jobs he felt were below his level of expertise. Having no connections in his field and no call-backs from employers, he found himself working a part time at a gas station accompanied by a part time at a grocery store. Both jobs were miserable to him.

The jobs themselves were not horrible, but attempting to manage both schedules and both sets of responsibilities was slowly weighing down on him. His coworkers were also not the best to be around. And did he mention the commute to each establishment? That part ate up at his days drastically, leaving him with almost no time for rest.

Jungkook knew that he should've given up on camming a long time ago. Hell, he'd made a grand total of $876 dollars in the past year he'd been at it. That would be a laughable amount to all the cammers that had inspired him into taking such a profession. But he didn't have any other prospects. Even as he worked his two jobs and cammed, he continued to search for more fulfilling (and better paying) employment, but was unable to ever even get any callbacks.

And so now he found himself doing about three streams per week, getting more and more discouraged each time he'd end a stream with the same low number of viewers.

With yet another sigh, Jungkook got up to go clean himself up, lethargic in his movements due to both the physical and mental exhaustion of having worked all day, only to come back home for a lowly appreciated stream.

Coming back from a much needed hot shower, he did his usual skin care before heading back to bed, where he had been recording just now. For a moment he pondered whether he should go to sleep now in order to get ready for work early next morning or to indulge in watching some anime as a reward for the tiring day.

Going for the latter, he opened his computer back up, sighing again when he remembered he hadn't closed the tab in which he'd been camming.

But before he could actually tap out of it, something caught his attention, making his eyes widen more than he thought possible.

burner98 donated $1,000

This must've been some sort of mistake. Right? Maybe they mistyped? No one in their right mind would donate such an amount to a faceless cammer ranking up to less than a thousand weekly views.

All his prior donations had been in the lower numbers, usually only ever amounting up to $20. Never had he ever gotten someone to donate anything in the triple digits, much less going into the quadruples.

The name of the donor also caught his attention. Babystarcandy. It was a frequent watcher who had been in attendance to every single stream of his starting a few months back — which was when they'd first made an appearance in his audience.

He had never noticed this viewer in particular, though they were one of the only people to ever grant him donations. They'd usually donate whilst he was off stream, which he found slightly strange but never questioned. Checking through his donation history, he saw this name listed three times prior, with donations of $5, $15 and $20 respectively. They'd happened throughout the months, with no pattern in particular. It made no sense for them to donate such a high amount to Jungkook out of nowhere, especially not while he wasn't actively on stream.

With a heavy heart and half a mind to simply keep the money, he decided to message the donor to inform them of their mistake and follow through with a refund.

So much for his anime binge before bed.

babystarcandy - Hey, burner98. Thank you so much for the kind donation, but I think you made a mistake. I'll refund you.

He decided to go with something kind of formal. After all, he'd never spoken to this person before.

Surprisingly, the response came within minutes. Being three in the morning, he assumed you'd wait til the following day to reply, but maybe you were in a different time zone.

burner98 - omg hiii !! did i make a mistake ?? im sorry !! i meant to send 1k. did it not go through correctly ?

Had that not been an accident? One thousand dollars?

This made no sense. Why would you send him such a large amount out of nowhere? That was more than he'd made in the entire past year. Hell, that was half his rent.

Jungkook had no idea how to respond to you.

As much as he wanted to accept it, it felt like robbing you of a fortune.

babystarcandy - Gosh, hi! No, the thousand came through, it's just ... Are you sure this is correct? This is a lot of money ... I'd feel terrible taking so much from you

Once again, you responded almost immediately.

burner98 - haha ur so cute

burner98 donated $2,000

burner98 - is that better ? ;)

Holy fucking shit.

Jungkook's hands were shaking at this point. His eyes couldn't believe what was right in front of him.

Quickly, he took out his phone to check his baking app, checking to see if the deposits were legitimate. Upon opening it, he found that his balance had in fact gone up $3,000. This was far more money than he'd ever had in his bank account.

He stared blankly at it for a few moments without so much as breathing. A reminder to snap out of his trance arrived in the form of another chime coming from his computer — a new message from you.

burner98 - did i scare u off :((

burner98 - just wanna help u out :(((

Immediately, he rushed to respond, not even thinking before typing anymore.

babystarcandy - no! not at all! this is just so much money. i dont want you getting yourself into financial trouble for me

Within seconds, you responded.

burner98 - haha it's okay i can afford it dont worry <3

He furrowed his brows worriedly, typing up yet another message.

babystarcandy - i really dont mean to sound ungrateful, but why ? it's so much money ... this is life-altering type of money for me (as made up as that may sound) my content isn't even that good. why are you giving me this?

He knew he was shooting himself in the foot by questioning it so much and not simply accepting it, but he'd learned through his life that good things don't just come out of nowhere. He needed more details. At least for his peace of mind.

burner98 - i adoooore ur content. u've helped me so much u have noooo idea !!! u deserve it !! u mentioned in ur live a week ago u were struggling with money, so ofc id wanna help u out pretty <3

Fuck. You actually liked his content? His content was worth $3,000 to you?

Jungkook was almost sure he had accidentally fallen asleep before he even opened his computer. Pinching himself a few times proved for this to be actually real.

babystarcandy - thank you so much. you have no idea how much this means to me.

babystarcandy - there has to be some way i can repay you.

Was he propositioning himself to you?

Not even Jungkook was sure. He had no idea what he was offering to you, but it was the middle of the night and he was extremely grateful. He couldn't help himself as he typed up that message and sent it.

burner98 - oh ? what would u suggest ?

Oh, fuck. You were agreeing. Okay ... Now what? Jungkook had nothing to offer. He was an amateur cammer with nothing to his name. What could some random person on the internet with tons of disposable income possibly want from him?

babystarcandy - maybe i could give you a call to thank you ? you know, one on one ?

He mentally kicked himself as soon as he sent that message.

What the hell was he thinking, offering up a personal call to some random person online? This could be a friendless creep for all he knew. He had no identifying information about you, other than knowing you apparently had a vast disposable income. I mean, hell, your account name was burner98, you clearly did not want to leave any traceable information about you.

Before he could backtrack (not that he would actually have the balls to), the three dots on your side of the conversation popped up, followed by another message from you.

burner98 - really ??? :00 that'd be amazing omg ... are you free tomorrow ? i'll make it worth your while <3

Staring at the $3,000 sitting cozy on his bank account, he didn't even let himself think before agreeing, sending a quick message in confirmation. He had work tomorrow, but maybe calling off would be worth it considering you were hinting at even more money.

Jungkook felt dirty for some reason, despite knowing what camming truly entailed. However, he also knew that there was nothing morally wrong with what he was doing, so he pushed that shyness to the back of his mind and began drafting up some sort of goodbye message that encapsulated your plans to call tomorrow and a few more thank you's for your donations.

burner98 donated $5,000

burner98 - just a little thank u for ur kindness ;) see u tomorrow baby ~

Jungkook had to swallow the gasp that was about to leave his body. Five thousand dollars??

You'd managed to drop eight thousand dollars on him within an hour's time. This was four months of his rent. Jungkook had never had this much money lying in his bank account. Its mere presence was making him nervous.

Not only that, but the thought of talking to someone who had this much money to give without a second thought scared him shitless.

There was no way he'd sleep tonight.

In the end, Jungkook ended up sleeping a total of three hours. With his working schedule, it was common for him to catch about five hours of sleep every night, so this wasn't too out of the norm. Last night had been different, however, as he had simply been unable to sleep due to all the tossing and turning in anticipation for today.

As soon as he woke up, he checked his bank account again to make sure last night hadn't been some sort of twisted dream. Following that, he called up both of his jobs in order to call in sick. That granted him a total of two days without work (nor pay) due to the flu he had made up.

Now he sat in front of his laptop, fake sick and waiting for you to call him.

Last night, you'd agreed on calling him on Zoom at around 12PM in his timezone. Currently at 12:18PM, he sat anxiously waiting for your arrival. Sporting a simple tank top and some basketball shorts, he pondered whether he should take anything off in advance, not sure if you wanted him to give you a private show or not. You hadn't discussed the details of the call, but surely you'd want something of that nature, right? I mean, you only knew him through his streams after all.

His wait was not too prolonged, as he heard the familiar notification chime come from his computer only moments later. It was a zoom link sent by burner98.

You were here.

Angling his webcam so it'd only show below his chin on camera, he nervously clicked on the link and joined the call. It connected after just a few moments.

In front of him was a black screen with the name burner98 attached to it. You'd chosen to remain anonymous to him by keeping your camera off.

Then he heard a tiny gasp, your microphone icon lighting up along with it.

"Oh my god!! Hi!", you sounded very happy to see him, causing his skin to heat up. He wasn't used to getting any reactions on his streams, seeing as he couldn't hear his audience.

"H-hi," he stammered, awkwardly clearing his throat afterwards.

"I didn't think you'd show ... Wow, you look so pretty," you said absentmindedly, almost as if entranced by him despite only being able to see his torso.

He could hear the smile in your voice. You sounded young and girlish, completely different from what he'd expected.

Truthfully, he had either expected some virgin creep around his age or maybe a lonely middle aged woman in desperate need of some action. Yet your voice sounded appealing to him. He could almost picture what you looked like. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but he pictured a pretty girl on the other side of the screen. Unless you were using some sort of voice distortion. You could never be too sure nowadays.

"Uh, yeah, of course I came. Thank you again for, uh, the money," he felt awkward as he said it, not sure of how to properly convey his gratitude, but knowing he'd done a terrible job at it just now.

Luckily for him, you merely giggled at his awkwardness.

"It's not a problem!! I'm happy to help. Sorry I didn't send anything before ... I wasn't sure how you'd take it," you trailed off, "Was it okay that I sent it? I swear it's no trouble for me, but I didn't mean to intimidate you or anything. I know that can be a lot of money," you added.

"It's totally fine, hah," he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, accidentally lowering his body enough for you to see his chin and lips on screen, "I'm really thankful for it, truly. You have no idea how much this helps."

"Fuck, you're so pretty ..." you whispered to yourself before responding to his statement, "I'm happy to hear that! It's awkward to say this in person, but I really do love your content. You're so underrated."

You were very confident in the way you spoke, almost completely ignoring the context of this whole conversation. In the meantime, Jungkoook felt extremely awkward and nervous, unsure of where this was going.

"Thank you so much ..." he mumbled shyly, "Uh, do you want- What would you like me to do? You know, to, uh, express my gratitude?", he cringed at his wording, hearing an almost inaudible chuckle coming from you after.

"You don't have to strip for me or anything," you giggled after a short pause, "I really just wanted to talk to you," you added shyly. He could picture you putting your hair behind your ear, "Is that odd? Sorry, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything," you added with another small laugh.

He could hear the smile in your voice at every statement. Your demeanor was just very contagious. It almost made him feel like this call was a reward of its own. It had been a while since someone spoke to him with such kindness, especially considering the grand favor you'd just done for him.

"Could I-," he started, "Could I see you? It feels a little strange being the only one with my camera on," he tried to play it off with a dry chuckle, but he knew the request was an odd one. He was the one who chose to put himself out there, not you.

"Maybe next time?", you suggested, "I'm just a little shy, sorry," for the first time, your tone matched his awkward one, making him grimace at even thinking about asking to see you in the first place.

"How old are you?", he asked before he could stop himself.

"You're very curious about me, huh?", you giggled, "I'm 23. How old are you?"

You were 23? And you already had this much money to give him without a second thought? Who were you?

"You're 23? That's- Wow, I expected older," he admitted, despite thinking your voice matched your age.

"Is it because of the money?", you asked.

"Yeah, hah, Sorry, just-"

"It's okay, baby, you can ask me whatever you want. If you're willing to answer some questions too," you added, not pushy, but more so encouraging, "You didn't answer my question, by the way."

"Oh, sorry ... I'm 24. Can I really ask questions?"

"Yeah, baby, go ahead," there was a big smile in your voice. He could tell you enjoyed when he engaged in conversation. And to be honest, he was enjoying it too.

"How come ... I mean, you're young and- and you sound like, like you're pretty. And you seem to be well off, so ... how come you're on here?", he hoped his question didn't come off as rude, or that he wasn't rushing things. He felt selfish in admitting it, but he hoped that this would not be the only time you ever donated to him.

"Aw, you think I'm pretty? But you've never seen me?", you teased.

"I mean, what I meant was-"

"It's okay, pretty. You don't have to explain," you giggled, "To answer your question ... I came across your stream on accident, and your voice was just so-", you cleared your throat, "so fucking pretty. The way you read the scripts or those times you'd just rant while you played with yourself ... Fuck. I never thought I could be so attracted to someone I'd never really met or even seen," you were getting carried away, but the shifting tone of your voice had Jungkook's interest peeked, "When you mentioned struggling financially in one of your streams, I just felt this need to take care of you ... Sorry, is that weird?", you chuckled awkwardly by the end, likely embarrassed by your ramble.

He shook his head, "N-no! I understand. I'm glad you enjoy the content. I didn't think it was good, since I don't get that many views," he lamented to himself, "Thank you for wanting to take care of me, I have been struggling lately. You're really saving my life," he exaggerated a bit, but it felt truthful at the time.

"I'll help you out even more in the future, baby. Don't worry," he could hear the pout in your voice, basically cooing at his lamentations.

"You really don't have to-", he raised his arms to convey his point, only to be interrupted by you.

"I want to! It's really no trouble for me. I have a lot more to give. Trust me," you insisted.

You stopped speaking for some seconds before humming to yourself, seemingly thinking to yourself. When you spoke up again was when the atmosphere shifted for Jungkook.

"How about we make a deal?"

It sounded ominous as you said it. Jungkook couldn't lie when he said that the question made his heart drop. You didn't seem weird or threatening thus far, but he really did not want to enter a situation in which he gave you some sort of sexual favor in exchange for money. Camming already made him shy enough. He didn't think he had it in him to do more explicit things.

"I- I don't-"

"I'll send you an allowance if you keep streaming regularly," you started, "and I'll double it if you call me again. Just to talk," you suggested, giving him some room in order to respond.

"You want me to c-call you?", he parroted.

"I've really enjoyed talking to you, and I'd love to do it again," you admitted, "Please let me take care of you."

His blood stopped pumping for a moment.

The offer sounded far too good for him to refuse. Money for him to keep doing what he was already doing? And even more just to talk to you? This sounded like one of those sugar daddy situations he'd hear about on Twitter, but without the explicit bits.

Jungkook pondered over it for a few silent moments, humming to himself when he found the answer he wanted to give. He didn't have anything to lose after all.

"Okay. I'll do it," he decided, gulping nervously immediately after agreeing.

"Really?", you sounded elated as you asked, "You want to keep talking? I didn't scare you off?"

"Of course not. It's not everyday you get such a deal, you know," he shamelessly allowed himself to admit, "And you're nice to talk to."

He wasn't sure whether he was buttering you up or if he actually meant it. He'd need a few more conversations to decide.

"Great! Oh, baby, I'm so glad!," you clapped your hands excitedly, cheery in your demeanor.

"You can, uh, call me JK if you want," he added, noticing how you kept going back and forth between pet names. It just felt a bit awkward to him at the moment.

"Okay, JK. Tell me, how's your day been?"

Settling comfortably, he continued the conversation, nerves easing after a while as he attempted to match your energy. Although he still had his alerts high, he felt more at ease as the conversation evolved, with your demeanor becoming contagious to him.

You only spoke for a few hours. At some point Jungkook became so absorbed in it, he didn't realize how easy it was for him to talk to you about his goals, his time as a cammer, his day to day life, or any other mundane subject that you brought up. He kept personal details to himself (as did you), even turning off his camera at some point in order to lessen how self aware he felt. You were nice to him all throughout, showing genuine interest in him yet not a single ounce of lust or any ulterior motives.

After a while, you were the one to finally bid your goodbyes, claiming you had things to take care of and couldn't stay longer. With the agreement to call you a few times per week, you coo'd and pouted at having to hang up, making Jungkook feel a slight ting of disappointment at the conversation ending.

Within a few weeks, Jungkook's life changed drastically.

His streams and your calls continued swiftly, amassing to a total of two of each per week. Usually, he'd call you for about an hour or so before coming on stream for another hour.

On those days he'd garner about $3,000 from you. Jungkook felt quite rich at the moment.

Against his better judgment, he quit his job at the gas station and lowered his hours as a grocery store clerk. He had a high amount of savings now, thanks to you, so he didn't see the point in remaining miserable in not one, but two jobs. Despite keeping one of his jobs as a fall-back plan, he still had tons of free time at his will due to the streams of money coming his way — with all of it being your money.

A few calls in, he found out a bit more about you, which answered many of his questions. However, your meek promise of letting him see you had been untrue, as he still had no idea what you looked like nor did he know your name. Granted, you also didn't know those things about him, but you'd seen him jerk off on screen, so you still had an advantage over him.

Among the things he found out about you was the source of your vast income. Apparently, you were the daughter of a CEO. Jungkook was not granted the specifics, but you'd told him that your father was the owner of a few multimillion dollar companies, which was how you attained your seemingly endless stream of income. Your father would routinely send you about ten times the amount you gave Jungkook weekly, which left him dizzy at attempting to do the math.

Along with this bit of lore about you, Jungkook was also shocked to find out you lived in the same area as him. While Jungkook lived in a rundown part of LA, you were living comfortably in a wealthier, high end area. This knowledge had also shocked you, even causing you to bring up a cheeky suggestion of meeting him in person, but it was merely brought up as a passing comment and never discussed again.

Currently, he found himself in his same apartment, not feeling secure enough in this agreement to move onto a nicer area. As naive as it may have sounded, Jungkook did trust your word when you said you were interested in taking care or him financially, however, he knew that realistically he could not count on your money forever. You didn't know each other personally, and his streaming career would not last forever (especially considering that his views were only in the 500s at the time). He opted to save most of the money you kept him, likely to use some of it to pay off college and some for safekeeping. As of now, however, his lifestyle remained pretty much the same.

Much like every other Thursday, today Jungkook was preparing himself to start another stream in a couple of hours. On most streaming days, he'd call you to talk and simply hang out before starting a stream. Today, however, he had received a message from you before he could log in to contact you.

burner98 - hey jk !! i cant talk right now ㅠㅠ would it be okay if u call me after ur stream ?? i'll still be able to tune in !!

Jungkook didn't think too much of it, simply replying in agreement and moving onto something else to fill up the time. He prepared for his stream as per usual, opting to ramble as he jerked off for the duration of this stream, not having a script or prompt to roleplay this time around.

Setting up his usual equipment, he reached over to his pc to angle it correctly, only showing below his lips in order to protect his anonymity. With a deep breath, he uncovered his webcam and turned on the stream, immediately taking note of about 60 people entering all at once.

"Hey guys," he chuckled breathily, "It's me again, Babystarcandy. Welcome back to my subscribers and welcome in to anyone who might be new," he began, "Today is gonna be a more casual stream if that's okay? I'll be, uh, edging and rambling for a while. Maybe not too much rambling, since you know how into it I get," he trailed off.

One of his key features as a cammer was his usual commitment to being a sub. He'd often get praise about how 'pathetic' and 'subby' he could be. Most of his donations occurred on his subbier streams, when he'd roleplay some subby role or when he'd jerk off, torturing himself into a pathetic mess. In reality, this was Jungkook's natural state when it came to sex. He had always taken a more submissive and sensitive role when it came to his personal relationships. Sadly, though, he had not gotten any action outside of camming in a few months due to his hectic work schedule.

Quickly squirting some lotion on his hand, Jungkook began to work himself, slow in his movements as to prolong the experience. He wanted this to last a good twenty minutes or so.

"H-how are you guys?", he asked, glad to see there were about 200 people in now.

A few commenters popped up — the usual loyal commenters who'd encourage him throughout, expressing their arousal at the sight of him.

"S-hit," he muttered when his hand went up to his tip, squeezing tortuously, "My tattoos? You like them? I'm glad ... What? They make me look intimidating? I'm quite the opposite, purplelover65," he chuckled between breathy moans as he read off comments.

"How many times should I edge myself tonight?", he wondered out loud, "Won't cum til you tell me to," he whimpered, slowing down his movements even more, hand tight around his cock.

He read a few more comments, thanking two donors who'd given $10 each and fulfilling any requests to plea or whimper for more. This continued as it usually did up until the first time he robbed himself of an orgasm, which was when he spotted a commenter in particular.

It was you.

Ever since he began talking to you, you never really commented anymore, simply making your attendance known by being connected in the stream. Despite your calls, you'd never speak about what he did on his streams, always talking as if you were friends (friends who knew no personal information about each other but alas). Tonight, however, you decided to catch him off guard by commenting.

burner98 - god, ur so pretty ... bet you'd like someone playing with that pretty cock right ? marking you up and toying at u til ur crying

You'd never once been this explicit towards him, even before ever speaking to him. You'd expressed liking his content, but never had praised him like this. He pictured the words coming out of your mouth, with your voice, and shuddered. There was something about being wanted so badly by someone — enough for you to take care of him financially without asking for anything in return — that made him reel. As ashamed as he was to admit it, he'd been craving some praise from you all these weeks. In his mind, you were a faceless entity, but you were still a rich girl around his age, and that was enough for his brain to work with.

"Y-yes, burner98, want you to t-touch me til I'm crying ... Fuck, need to be touched so badly," he whined, already on the high of his second attempt at an orgasm approaching, knowing he'd end up denying himself again.

A few other commenters encouraged him with similar words, making him jerk off faster, slowly approaching his high.

burner98 - ur so filthy, fuck. are u gonna edge urself again, pretty ? wanna see u do it til u make a pretty mess all over ur sheets

Your comments were the ones he wanted to see the most. He felt an instinctive need to obey you. It felt like he was finally giving you something in return. It also felt right to him for some reason, like his body was aching to fulfill your every wish.

"Mhm, just- just wanna cum so bad," he cried, hand reaching out to play with his balls, "I'm so close ... Can I cum? I know I said I wouldn't yet, but it's so good ... It's right there, baby, please ..." he pleaded, eyes drowsy.

burner98 - nooo baby u have to wait. want u to cry, remember ? do not cum.

Huffing, he slowed down, diminishing the intensity of the feeling. Pouting, he groaned as he felt his orgasm leave him, disappearing just as the previous one had.

"Okay," he whimpered, "I stopped ... Can I touch myself again?", he asked his viewers, "My nipples? Want me to play with them, magicshop43? A-anything for you," he moaned, fingers coming up to his hardened nipples and toying with them. He sighed at the stimulation, always extra sensitive in that area, but also due to how badly he was craving that orgasm now.

His hand went back down to his cock, working it again, "What would you do if you were here with me right now?", he asked as if he were directing himself to a single person rather than the 435 viewers currently watching.

He skimmed through the comments, humming and acknowledging all the dirty thoughts his viewers were sharing. As he played with himself, he waited for you to respond. With a groan, he finally spotted your comment, gulping when he processed the contents of it.

burner98 - id love to have u all to myself. edge u until u cry or maybe make u cum so many times u have to beg me to stop ... id mark up every inch of ur body while i run my thumb on ur tip without any more stimulation. you'd look so pretty begging me for more until i finally sit on ur cock and steal my orgasm from you without giving u anything in return. id drag this on for hours until u cant take it anymore

burner98 - is that too much ? sorry just want u so fucking bad

Without realizing it, his hand sped up as he read your comment, mind now zeroed in on you, putting all other commenters in the back burner. By the time he managed to respond, he was already a whimpering mess, bottom lip trapped in between his teeth to prevent the pathetic sounds from slipping out.

"It's not too much, b-burner98 ... Want that, fuck ... Need someone to take care of me so badly ...", he breathed out, "C-can I cum now? Please? Wanna cum- Need to cum," he pleaded, sighing at the chorus of comments giving him the green light to let go.

"Thank you thank you thank you," he rambled quietly, letting his cock make a mess all over his abs and sheets with the cum squirting out.

He sat there with a heavy breath for a few moments as he attempted to regain his composure, surprised at how sensitive he'd gotten this time around. He wanted to blame you in specific, but doing so would mean admitting to himself that you'd had an effect on him, and he did not want to open that can of worms yet.

"Thank you guys for joining me today, hah," he chuckled, "I hope that was as fun for you as it was for me. I'll see you next time, my loves," he made a kissy noise at the camera before closing the tab, sighing once it was all done.

Now he had to wait for your call, still slightly horny but also anxious about talking to you after having practically had phone sex with you — with an unknowing audience. He gave himself a few minutes to calm down, only then getting up to wash his hands and get a rag to clean up with. By the time he was finished, that familiar chime arrived, informing him of a message from you.

burner98 - im calling u now. is that okay ?

Clearing his throat, Jungkook sounded out his voice to make sure he'd rid himself of any of that high pitched, whinny tone he would develop when he was horny. With one last sip of water, he responded and soon after began the call.

"H-hey," he muttered, feeling shy after today's events, unknowing of what was to come.

"Hi ..." you sounded similarly awkward, "I'm sorry if I caught you off guard today," you started, "I just needed to unwind ... I promise I'm not expecting anything from you. This is just a regular call."

"I- it's okay, really. Don't worry about it," he reassured, "It was nice to, uh, have someone talk me through it. It makes it easier; more, uh, fun, I guess," he was awkward in admitting.

He immediately regretted his words at your sudden silence. Did you think he was lying? Or maybe the thought of him enjoying it freaked you out. You had never showed explicit interest in him in such a way, so maybe this was too forward of him.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"JK," you interrupted.

He gulped, "Yes?"

"Would you like to meet someday?", you began, tone serious, "I know we live in the same area, and ... I've really enjoyed our time getting to know each other. I'd just really love to meet you."

Jungkook remained silent, shock taking over his entire person.

You must've interpreted his silence as rejection, opting to continue speaking.

"I wouldn't expect anything from you if we met, if that's what you're thinking!," you quickly reassured, "I'm not looking for that. I just ... I love being able to help you out and I'd love a chance to see you in person."

"You ... You want to meet?"

"Yes. You don't have to say yes, just-"

"Where would we meet?", he asked, truly considering it.

"My house? Maybe?," you suggested, "Again, you don't have to say yes. I understand this is strange. I won't get angry if-"

"Yes. I'll go," he found himself responding before he could think any further.

"Really?", you asked with an astonished tone of voice.

"Y-yeah, just send me your address and the time and I'll be there," he rushed out, "Uh, well I have to go now. I'll see you soon, okay? Bye!", he practically zoomed, shutting his computer closed before you could say anything in return.

Jungkook knew how stupid it was of him to want to meet some anonymous person be met on a camming website in person was. But he felt an immense debt towards you. This really was the very least he could do.

He also felt far too much curiosity about your person to pass up the opportunity to meet you. You'd kept even the most basic information about yourself a mystery. Some part of him needed to meet you to find out who the person he'd been talking to all this time was.

Lastly, as embarrassed and confused as he was to admit it, tonight's events had left him a bit ... affected. Interacting with you as he put himself in the most vulnerable of positions, playing with himself for your (and many others') viewing pleasure just left him insanely aroused. It awoke an itch he now needed to scratch.

So, when he woke up the next morning to details about your meeting, he was nervous yet determined to finally meet you.

Anxiety and cold sweats were all that Jungkook knew any time he was nervous. Staring up at his blank ceiling as he attempted to sleep was the only thing he could do on the night prior to your meeting.

The day had come sooner than anticipated, happening only two days after the day of the stream in which you'd made Jungkook lose his sanity. After that, he began to feel a mixture or excitement and bone-rattling anxiety at the prospect of meeting you.

He already had a great thing going on with all the allowance money you'd given him, meeting you would merely risk that. What if you were some weirdo who had been manipulating him this whole time, hoping to eventually get him alone to extort him with all the money you'd given him? Risking such a high stream of income made him feel terrified, even if it was money he was never expecting in the first place.

And that wasn't even the worst case scenario.

There were tons of terrifying scenarios playing in Jungkook's head. Someone with as much money as you did could easily cause some damage to him if he were to reject any advances you made towards him. Meeting you could possibly turn dangerous for Jungkook.

At the same time, naive and immature ideas popped up in Jungkook's head.

There was a chance you truly were the bubbly girl who had taken an interest in his financial wellbeing. Maybe you truly were someone who had somehow become infatuated with him in an innocent way and had no ulterior motives in mind. You had never crossed any lines with him nor had you even brought up the possibility of a sexual encounter between you. Maybe he'd meet you and end up forming a genuine friendship with you.

Whether it was dumb of him or not, Jungkook decided to continue with the plan to meet you, showing up at the penthouse the address you'd given him led to. His life had already been miserable before you turned in upside down, how much of a risk could this be?

With an accelerated heartbeat, Jungkook pressed the button to your intercom, becoming alert when he heart a voice respond through the machine.

"This is a private residence. Who is this?", responded a male voice in a tone devoid of any emotion.

"Oh, uh, this is Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook," he stammered.

Fuck, he had never given you his real name. How were you to know this was him? Was this even your address? Maybe this was your husband? What if-

"Oh, you must be JK," responded the voice, more casually this time, "You're here to meet Y/N, right? You're a bit early. I'll let you in in just a moment," trailed off the voice, turning off the intercom before Jungkook could respond.

"Y/N," he mumbled to himself.

That must've been your name. He liked it. It rolled off his tongue nicely.

In just a few moments, the door opened, revealing a handsome man in a suit, seemingly around his own age. With a nod, he gestured at Jungkook to come in, which Jungkook obeyed immediately.

"Hello, I'm Taehyung. I'm Y/N's personal assistant/butler," he introduced himself with a friendly handshake, "Wow, you're even more handsome than she described," he marbled, staring at Jungkook shamelessly.

This guy seemed weird, but nothing appeared threatening thus far.

"Oh, I- Thank you," Jungkook chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

"I let her know you're here. Just take those stairs and head left and you'll be in one of the living rooms. She'll come out when she's finished getting ready," instructed Taehyung as he pointed in the direction Jungkook was meant to go find you.

Hesitantly, Jungkook made his way to you, heart beating faster by the minute. When he reached the living room Taehyung had directed him to, he found himself standing by a fancy door, one which he assumed led to your room. Before he could ponder as to whether to knock or not, the door suddenly opened, revealing a girl.

There weren't enough words in Jungkook's vocabulary to describe how he felt at seeing you for the first time. His imagination had been liberal in picturing how you may look once you actually met, yet it had never quite come close to the reality.

Before him stood the prettiest girl he had ever seen. Your skin was perfect, somehow radiant and supple. He could tell it'd be soft to the touch — especially the soft skin of your legs that was exposed by the dress you were wearing. Your hair framed your face perfectly, taking on a soft look that had him wondering what it'd feel like if it graced his skin. Your body was something Jungkook did not want to get into in favor of his sanity, but his brain could not help itself. Your body was formed by the perfect combination of curves and wedges, making up a silhouette he ached to trace. Your eyes were the final blow to it all, wide with wonder as they stared back at him. The beautiful color had him hypnotized.

Jungkook would've truly had his fill of you, devouring you with his eyes for hours if you hadn't snapped him out of it.

"Oh, my God, JK!", you practically squealed, hands going up to cover your mouth in excitement.

"Burner98? I- Hi, You're-"

"You can call me Y/N," you smiled widely at him, offering him a handshake. Everything you did radiated the happiness you clearly felt at meeting him. It somehow had him feeling both reassured and nervous.

"Oh, I- that's a pretty name," he mumbled, gulping at the contact of your hand, "My real name's Jungkook," he revealed.

"I'm so happy to meet you, Jungkook," you expressed, "You're even prettier than I imagined," you were quite straightforward in your thinking.

Sadly he was not the same, still too entranced by you to muster any coherent words.

"You're pretty," he hid behind a cough, too embarrassed to say it outright.

He was aware he was acting like a loser, but could he be blamed? He was currently in the luxury penthouse of his gorgeous sugar mommy (for lack of a better term). His mind would not stop spinning.

You simply giggled at his shy demeanor, taking his hand and leading him over to the couch, coming to sit side by side whilst Taehyung suddenly walked by with drinks, setting them down as he offered you both a cheeky smile.

"Thank you, Taetae," you waved him off before turning back to Jungkook.

"So, how are you feeling? Did coming here make you nervous? I was thinking it might," you started, taking a sip from your drink.

"Maybe a little," he downplayed, "I just didn't know what to expect," he mumbled.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just thought that talking in person might be easier, you know? I never really planned this," you laughed to yourself, "I had no idea you lived so close, but it felt like a missed opportunity to not meet when we lived so close together."

He hummed in agreement, continuing to engage in his shy demeanor despite wanting so badly to show you how elated he was to be with you in this moment.

"I thought maybe you'd have questions? I promise to be an open book from now on," you cutely reached out for his pinky, giggling when he intertwined his own with yours with a smile.

"I guess maybe I was just curious about ... why me? I still can't wrap my head around why anyone would want to help me like this without me, uh, doing anything in return," his eyes left yours as confidence in his question left his own.

You cleared your throat before responding, "Hah, it's kind of embarrassing to say, but, I was in kind of a rut?", you started, "Nothing worked, and then I came across you. Your voice was what got to me first, then it was a mixture of everything. I didn't even plan on continuing to watch as consistently as I did, but I found myself coming back for more every week. Then your personality caught my attention. So when you mentioned your financial issues in one of your streams I couldn't help myself. I was already infatuated by you by then," you admitted, a warmth invading your cheeks.

Similarly, Jungkook blushed, "Oh, I helped you ...?"

"Yes, but we don't need to talk about those things," you cleared your throat, "I don't expect anything like that from you, Jungkook. I just want to help you out. I know it might seem like an odd arrangement, but this is enough for me," you reassured.

As hypocritical as it sounded, Jungkook was slightly disappointed by your words. Within mere minutes of knowing you, he already knew how attracted to you he was. Despite your words, he could not follow along with you and ignore the context of the situation. You found him attractive, he knew that much, and you'd just implied that your attraction to him had made you cum at some point. How was he supposed to ignore that when you were so otherworldly beautiful, sitting right next to him?

But unfortunately for Jungkook, he was too timid to express his desire for you. He was both too introverted and embarrassed to offer himself up like that.

"It's ... I'm glad I've been able to help you," he muttered, "I really appreciate all you've done for me. Don't feel like you have to keep doing it, I understand if-"

You scoot closer to him before interrupting him, "Shh, I want to keep doing it," you shushed him, "but I was hoping we could maybe alter our deal a bit?", you asked, causing Jungkook's breath to hitch.

"H-how so?"

Please say you want him, fuck. He'll drop to his knees right this second if you so much as suggest it.

"I was thinking maybe you could come over a few times a week instead of calling? It'd be way more fun to hang out than just call, don't you think?", you suggested, smiling innocently at him.

Fuck.

"Oh, I- I'd love to, but it takes me about an hour to get here and I don't have a car, so," he said, feeling an odd sense of disappointment in himself at denying you of anything.

"You don't have a car? You should've told me, Jungkookie!," you pouted at him, "Taehyung!", you suddenly called out into the other room.

Within moments, Taehyung entered the room, ready for whatever you had for him.

"Yes?", he asked.

"Tell Joon he'll be driving Jungkook from now on," you turned to Jungkook for a moment, "Joon is one of my drivers. You'll like him," you then turned back to an expectant Taehyung, "I'll give him all the info necessary later today, okay?," you finished, excusing him with a nod of your head.

"Sure thing, Y/Nie," he smiled at you before walking away.

"You really don't have to-"

"No, it's fine! You can call him whenever you need him. He lives in the building too. All my employees live here," you reassured, "You could too if you wanted to, you know, my dad owns the building," you said as if it were nothing.

"W-what?"

You gave him another smile at his shocked expression, hand landing on his own, "Let me take care of you, Jungkook," you said, not as a request nor demand, but something in between.

As your thumb caressed the back of his hand, your eyes on his own, he found himself numbly agreeing, willing to let himself be taken care of without question.

The rest of the evening was spent like this, sharing a few drinks and truly getting to know each other. Whenever Jungkook actually let his guard down and ignored his attraction to you, putting aside the way in which you'd met and your entire dynamic, he found himself really enjoying your company. The two of you were easily compatible, getting along as if you'd been friends for years. Occasionally Taehyung joined in, which gave Jungkook the impression that you were good friends with your employees, whom you treated as equals rather than subordinates.

At some point, Jungkook went home, getting a ride from who was now his new driver, Namjoon. This was yet another person you seemed to be friendly with, which only put Jungkook even more at ease.

He was now willing to follow along with anything you wanted for him. Maybe it was dumb or naive, but meeting you had been enough to instill this blind trust in you. It also didn't help that Jungkook was now undeniably infatuated with you.

Only three weeks later and Jungkook found himself moved and settled into a smaller penthouse located in your farher's building. It had been quite fast, really. A group of movers showed up at his house one week after your initial meeting and did all the work for him. He had been unable to stream that week at all, — earning a few pouty emojis from you in text messages — but he no longer had to pay rent, as you allowed him to occupy the vacant penthouse free of charge, so there was not any loss of money.

Within this time, Jungkook found himself hanging out with you almost daily. He had now known you for a few months and had become intensely attached to you. His feelings for you had grown as he got to know you, and his attraction became almost unbearable. However, he had to hold on, as you still hadn't shown anything further than platonic interest in him.

On the days he streamed, however, you had continued to comment just as you had that one day, egging him on and saying filth he ached to hear from your lips. But any time he saw you after those streams, you'd never bring it up, acting as if you hadn't been lusting after him mere hours ago. In fact, you never mentioned his streaming career anymore, despite actively keeping up with it. It confused him endlessly.

On the day of a particularly racy stream, he visited you again, still somewhat affected by the comments you had left as be whimpered his way to completion.

As he usually did nowadays, he let himself into your penthouse without any warning, making his way to your kitchen, which was where Taehyung had informed him you were currently in. Once he was there, he spotted you as you bent over to take some cookies out of the oven. Your tiny lounge shorts were riding up, a sight that would cause a man even as shy as Jungkook to lose his mind. But he prevailed, simply clearing his throat to announce his presence from the kitchen door.

"Oh, hi Kook!", you chirped, quickly turning to give him a smile before going back to tend to your cookies.

He walked towards you, closing the distance and reaching around you to sneakily grab a cookie, only for you to swat his hand away.

"They're hot, silly!", you scolded, using a gloved hand to pick one up and mouth feed him after having blown on it for precaution.

He took a bite, humming in satisfaction, "Amazing."

"Right?", you giggled, beginning to take off your apron and mittens, not at all minding the non existent distance between you both.

You were absentmided, clearly not paying attention to Jungkook or what was running through his mind. His brain was still on the stream and all the filthy words you'd said only a few hours ago, body still buzzing with lust, which was how he found himself acting without thinking.

Without much warning, he braved it, hand coming to your chin and lifting your face to his own, closing the gap with a soft sigh against your lips.

He pecked at you innocently, landing a more languid kiss on your lips after a few seconds. You kissed back one or two times before suddenly squeaking against him, hands coming to his chest to push him away in shock.

"Jungkook, wait," you murmured, "Stop," you turned your head to the side to avoid his lips.

He pulled away apprehensively, mortified at your rejection, "I- I'm sorry, I thought-"

"I ... I don't want to sleep with you, Jungkook. It's not like that," you avoided his eyes, looking down rather than at him.

His face burned and his heart broke. He was beyond embarrassed at having done such a thing and receiving rejection in return. It had taken an insane amount of balls for him to do so, only for him to fuck things up.

"I'm so sorry, I'll-"

"Jungkook, it's fine. Don't worry about it," you tried to alleviate things to no avail.

"I- I gotta go. I'll see you later," were his last words before running out of your penthouse, embarrassed at how badly he felt he'd fucked things up.

He made it to his own penthouse without once looking back, feeling nothing but mortification at the situation he'd put himself in.

Did you really hold no interest in him? You'd said he was the only person who managed to get you off, that you loved his voice and his videos. You'd commented all the filthy things you wanted to do to him in his streams. You were currently letting him live in a luxury penthouse for free and paying him upwards of $3,000 dollars per week just so he could keep doing his streams. Where had he read things wrong?

On top of it all, he still wanted you so badly. That mere kiss had reignited all the arousal he had felt prior to coming over to your place tonight.

You had kissed back for a few moments, and that was enough for Jungkook's pathetic self to reach into his pants and grab onto his hard cock as soon as he made it back to his bed. He tortured himself with thoughts of you, picturing what you'd look like under those shorts.

Thinking back to the sight of you bent over, he got on his knees, grabbing onto a pillow and positioning it in front of him as he humped into it, hand still playing with his cock. The sight must've been pathetic, but he just felt so needy for you. That single sigh you'd released against his lips was more than enough to feed into his wicked imagination, making his eyes roll back at the image he'd conjured in his head.

He found his end like this, pathetic and alone in a room that belonged to you. When it was all said and done, he went to sleep with a lump in his throat, not knowing how he'd face you again after tonight.

You made various attempts at contacting him throughout the following week, only to receive no answer.

Jungkook didn't leave the penthouse nor did he do any streams for those seven days. He felt as if he'd been broken up with, and felt extremely terrified as to what this meant for his future. He had already let go of his lease at his previous apartment and had quit both his jobs. There was nothing to his name anymore other than the money you'd given him that he'd saved up. What was he supposed to do now?

Another worry of his was how you may be feeling at the moment. You considered him a friend at the very least, so disappearing on you like that made him feel like a terrible person. Ungrateful was what he was.

On the eighth day of icing you out was when he finally grew the balls to go see you again. Without warning, much like before, he went into your place, finding you at your balcony, back facing him like last time.

You must've sensed his presence, turning around and widening your eyes when you saw him.

"Jungkook-"

"Can we ... Can we pretend that never happened?", he asked apprehensively, knowing it was a fruitless solution but asking anyways.

You looked conflicted at his suggestion, taking a moment to think it over before making eye contact with him again, "Okay," you gave him a tight smile, "We'll pretend it never happened."

You said it with such a decisive tone that Jungkook almost didn't catch the pained look in your eyes. But as he had suggested, he pretended not to notice, opting to bring things back to the way they were before.

~

It only took a few weeks for Jungkook's mind to become rotten again.

It seemed to be easier for you than for him to act as if things never happened. Other than some awkwardness that first night, you acted completely normal afterwards. You treated him as friendly as you had before, even being touchier now. The only thing that had changed was that you didn't tune into his streams anymore. This pained him, as it fully confirmed your lack of romantic or sexual interest in him, but he tried to cope with it.

Except he couldn't do that for too long. Within those weeks, his resolve continued to break as his mind and body ached for him to beg you for just one chance. He wouldn't run this time. If this ruined everything, then so be it. He couldn't live like this anymore.

It was one random afternoon in which he headed to your place unannounced as per usual, making his way to your room, where Taehyung had informed him you were currently at.

You were in your walk-in closet, reorganizing some things, it seemed, when you acknowledged his presence with a quick hi.

Against his better judgment, he interrupted you, turning you around and making you face him, hands holding onto your own. With a concerned look in your eye, you stared back at him with curiosity, verbalizing your concern before he began speaking.

The lump in his throat was already there, and the frustration in his voice as evident as he spoke.

"I dont- I don't understand. Why don't you want me? I thought all this time that- that you may have liked me," he began, already exasperated, "I- I want you so badly ... I can't think of anything else. You're all I think about," he slowly leaned down into your neck at every word spoken, hands tightening around your own, "Please ... Give me one chance ... I- I don't care about the money," he braved a trace of his lips against your neck, pressing a few hot kisses when you didn't push him away, "I'll give it all back, I don't care, just- just please ... I need to have you. Let me have you just this once," he practically whimpered between kisses to your skin, sighing when your hands squeezed his own.

Without responding, you nosed his cheek, nudging him to face you. Your eyes were on his lips and your breath heavy, your breasts rising along with every breath. Your lips found his own with a heavy kiss, invading all his senses immediately.

"Okay, Kookie, you- you can have me ... I'll- I'll let you ..." you couldn't continue due to his needy tongue slipping into your mouth, body pushing your own against your closet wall and hands wrapping around your waist.

He lost control of himself early on, hands feeling at every inch of your body with an untamed desperation. Hands squeezed at every curve as he attempted to mold you against his own body. His breathy sighs landed in your lips, groaning any time you'd moan in return.

"T-thank you. Fuck, thank you, thank you, thank you," he rambled on into your lips, only interrupted when your hand went to the back of his head and forcefully pulled him closer.

His lips trailed down to your neck, sensual as they left love bites in their wake. He made it all the way to your chest, managing to nose your tank top out of the way and reveal a bare breast. With a groan, his lips wrapped around your nipple, licking and tugging at it in desperation.

"Kookie ..." you breathed out, "Take me to bed ..."

He needed no further instruction, walking you back messily, as he refused to disconnect his hands or lips from your body. When you landed on the bed, he hovered over you, kissing at every bare inch available to him, drinking in every sigh you let out.

Once he made his way to your thighs, he sucked at the supple skin, breathing in the natural scent of your body. Above him, you dug your nails into his hair, encouraging every kiss without needing so much as a word. Jungkook was reeling at the mere opportunity to have you. He was on a high he'd never experienced before.

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he mumbled into your skin, "Smell so good, fuck," he murmured to himself when his lips made their way closer to your center, frustrated at the cloth preventing him from rubbing his nose against the source of the heavenly scent.

His hands went to your shorts, silently aiding you in removing them as you lifted your hips to make it easier for him. All at once, your panties came off with them, leaving a small trail of slick behind. You threw off your shirt in the meantime. Jungkook's mind was already muddled with arousal, and the sight only made it worse. A groan was the last thing to leave his lips before they became occupied by your cunt, continuing to let out muffler sounds of desire against your cunt.

"K-kookie!", you cried out, "So good, fuck. Good fucking boy ..." you moaned whilst pushing his head further into you.

And he adored it. He needed you to use him shamelessly. He needed your cries and whimpers to imbed into his mind until they were the only thing he remembered. Your taste had already ruined him and your sounds were on their way to bury him even further.

He was a pathetic mess between your legs, crying out as it he were the one receiving the pleasure. Every lick and taste went straight to his cock, rendering him the most pussydrunk he'd ever been.

"It's so good ... Pussy's so fucking good," he whimpered, tongue going back and forth between torturing your clit and toying with your folds up until his tongue became stagnant in licking your arousal out of you, nose perfectly rubbing against your clit.

This caused you to begin canting your hips into his mouth, basically using his face as a glorified toy meant for your unadulterated pleasure. Shamelessly, you used him, letting out whiny cries of his name whilst every single noise went straight to his cock. He attempted to mumble im encouragement against your cunt, but he was far too gone. His eyes were rolled back and his brain a muddled mess.

With all his willpower, he managed to aim his eyes at you, encountering a sight he had only ever dreamed about before. Your eyes were rolled back, mindless and blissed out. Your mouth was agape, occasionally letting out the prettiest sounds known to man. Your hand was toying with your breasts, making Jungkook green with envy that he couldn't entertain every inch of your body all at once.

"'m gonna cum, Jungkook ... Need you to make me cum, f-fuck," you whimpered, hiccuping gasps in between.

He almost felt his own orgasm gnawing at him at that moment, but he needed to hold on. He'd be damned if he didn't feel you wrapped around him before losing himself.

"Cum, p-please ... Wanna taste you so bad, baby. Feel so good against my tongue ... Prettiest cunt, oh fuck," he rambled into your lips, aching for the moment you came.

"K-kookie! Y-yes, yes, just like that," you cried, nails digging into his scalp whilst your end took over, hips grinding harshly against his face.

Drenched in you, Jungkook licked wantonly at you, losing himself in your cunt as he rambled praise at you. The experience was otherworldly to him, making him black out in the immense lust your own pleasure was causing him.

He whimpered and nosed at your pussy, allowing a depraved part of himself to take over. He was on cloud nine at having you melt under him, having to will his hips into staying still as to not accidentally let himself go before he got to have you.

"Hmng, Kookie- Too- too much," you whimpered when his lips wouldn't leave you even after your orgasm had subsided. At some point you had to harshly pull at his hair, getting a depraved moan from him in return before he actually separated himself from you.

Before you could verbalize any praise for him, he made his way back up your body, invading your mouth in a wet mess of a kiss. He pushed your own taste into your mouth, swallowing your groan when you sucked into his tongue needily. His hands finally found the opportunity to feel up your body, hands grabbing at your tits and humming into your mouth at how delicious you felt against him.

"So fucking perfect," he mumbled, "God, fucking girl of my dreams ... Need you so bad- always needed you," he murmured absentmindedly as he got his fill of you.

With a mind of their own, his hips rutted into your own, giving him the friction he'd been craving since the moment you kissed. He would've been content with just the feeling of his clothed cock dragging against your bare pussy, had you not suddenly interrupted him with a whine.

"Kookie, please ... Fuck me. Been wanting you for months," you whined in between kisses.

"Fuck ... Want me? Do you really want me, gorgeous? Tell me," he begged, hips losing control.

"Wanted you since I first saw you, Kookie ... Didn't want to take advantage," you cried when his bulge angled perfectly against the most sensitive part of your cunt, nails digging into his biceps.

"Take advantage! I'll give you anything you want," his kisses went down to your tits, moaning into your skin.

He brought himself almost to completion as he kissed at your body, hips seeking their high from the mere friction, but he robbed himself of his orgasm before he could finish. With mewls in complaint from you, he separated himself from you to unclothe, making his way back to you immediately, almost as if he'd burn if he wasn't pressed up against you.

"'m gonna fuck you so good ... Shit, can't think, just want you wrapped around me so badly," he whimpered as he dragged his tip up and down your cunt, hiccuping whines of need.

"Fuck me, God, Kookie, please," you pleaded in a needy tone Jungkook had never heard from you.

"Anything you want ..." he mumbled as he positioned himself against you, losing all ability to speak when he finally entered you.

As much as Jungkook wanted to verbalize how otherworldly you felt around him, his words left him. He was reduced to a mess of gasps and needy hiccups of your name. Tears formed at the corner of his eyes at how badly he'd needed you all this time, finally fulfilling the desire that had been bugging at him since he met you.

Your walls suffocated him, causing his eyes to roll back at the immense pleasure you were giving him. Nothing his imagination had conjured about you could possibly parallel how good you felt.

"Pussy's so warm for me, fuck ... L-love this pussy," he managed to groan into the skin of your neck. His nonsensical praise was followed by even more senseless words, waxing poetic as he fucked into you.

"Prettiest pussy ... Wanted it all this time, craved it so badly ..."

"Thought about you every time I touched myself ... Needed this cunt wrapped around me."

"How is it so warm? Fuck, it's so warm n tight n all for me, huh? My pussy ..."

"Got so fucking sad when you rejected me ... W-wanted you to watch my streams ... They were all for you, f-fuck. Thought of you only."

You tightened particularly harsh after that last comment, finally responding with a shuddered breath of your own.

"I- I kept watching. I was so embarrassed, I used another burner," you revealed between gasps, "Touched myself hoping you'd come b-back and fuck me ..."

This knowledge made him lose his mind — the little of it he still had left. His eyes rolled back and his hips lost their composure. Strong arms lifted your legs further up his frame, with Jungkook now pistoning into you with an intensity that had both of you wailing. No more words could be exchanged when you were so lost in pleasure.

The thought of you wanting him as much as he did you — simply holding back due to not wanting to put any pressure on him or scare him off — made any last sense of sanity leave him. His cock hammered against your cunt as if he hated you, seeking his high whilst his hand snuck down to toy at your puffy clit.

He knew you were sensitive from your previous orgasm, groaning deep within his chest when his suspicions about your incoming high were confirmed by the sudden tightness of your cunt. This was how his own orgasm found him, dragging him down right with you.

His lips found yours, muffling any cries of pleasure by shoving his tongue in your mouth and swallowing every noise that attempted to leave your lips.

Even through the sensitivity of your subsiding orgasms, his hips did not halt, making him whine at how painfully good it all felt. If it hadn't been for your whines in protest, he would've continued until you were both crying. His body had no limit when it came to you.

Nuzzling against you, he kissed at whatever skin was available to him, humming at how soft you felt. Your hands caressed at him, pressing him onto you with a satisfied hum in return.

He relished in the silence for a while, shuffling so he could lay beside you without having to pull out. He could feel some of his cum spilling out of your cunt, causing him to scrunch up his nose. You must've noticed this, giggling at him.

"What?", he challenged, taking a teasing nibble from your skin.

"You act so shy, yet you fuck me an inch from my life," you laugh, nudging him for a kiss.

"I already embarrassed myself in front of you so many times, I needed to make a good impression," he rebutted.

"You made a good impression months ago, Jungkookie. Why do you think I spend thousands on you every month?", you teased, knowing he'd be too sheepish to come up with a comeback to that.

"Well, m-maybe you should stop paying me if we're going to be dating now," he braved, nervous despite his confident tone (and despite his cock still being buried deep in you).

"Oh? Dating? I don't recall anyone asking me out?"

He groaned, nibbling at you again and grinning at your giggle.

"Will you, Y/N, owner of my dick and heart, do me the honor of going out with me?"

You laughed again, making his cock twitch at the sudden vibration, "Hmm. Fuck me again and I'll think about it," you went to kiss him again.

It was hard to kiss you back with the smile taking over his face, but he did his best, flipping around to hover over you again, leaning down to kiss you.

"With pleasure ..."

to read short 2.2k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my jk monthly tier on kofi or patreon!

content:

wc: 742 (teaser); 2276 (full drabble)

sneak peak:

"How come you don't stream anymore?", you asked whilst running your hands through your boyfriend's fluffy hair, enjoying the way he nuzzled into your chest for the utmost comfort.

"Hmm," he pondered for a bit, "I don't really need to anymore. Plus, it feels kinda wrong now that I have a girlfriend."

You hummed at that. He had a point. You were quite possessive over him ever since you became official, so it was probably for the best he didn't stream that often nowadays. However, you had to admit, you missed that period of time in which he'd do lewd acts on screen while you watched and egged him on on the chat. Those were the moments in which he was most vulnerable.

There were also a few instances after becoming official in which he'd stream while you were watching from behind the scenes, giving you the best view of the pathetic mess he'd become. However, these became scarce after some time.

"Why do you ask?", he added after a while.

Shrugging, you cuddled closer to him, "I dunno. I kinda miss watching you sometimes."

At this, he repositioned himself, twisting his neck so he could face you, "Huh?"

It was a kind of an embarrassing and maybe voyeuristic thing, but you did feel some weird enjoyment out of being able to provide for Jungkook as he jerked off to an audience back when you'd first met him. Knowing that it was you who could give him what he needed while others could only watch without having any sort of connection made you feel powerful. It made you feel like you had some sort of ownership over him. The nature of the dynamic was thrilling to you.

This was something you hadn't thoroughly explored with Jungkook yet. After becoming a couple, you had halted all the transactions to him upon his request. He claimed that he didn't want you to feel like his attraction to you had been born out of interest (something which he was able to demonstrate time and time again). Despite your constant insistence that you'd never feel that way, he insisted, though still remained living with you free of charge. He explored other fields of interest and began working a freelance job he enjoyed (with your help), shifting your dynamic into a more ordinary one.

You thoroughly agreed with any and every change he deemed necessary in order to feel more comfortable with your relationship. But despite this, you still missed the days in which you felt like Jungkook was eating at the palm of your hand — the power and control that came with it and the desperation it had driven into Jungkook up until the point of desperation in which he finally begged to have you.

"I assumed you'd be more possessive than that," he responded, "I thought you'd rather keep me to yourself."

"That's kinda true, but ... I also liked that, uh, desperation you used to show in your streams," you blushed at your own admission.

"Oh," he breathed, "W-well, I could always-"

"No, Kookie, I don't want to push you to do something you wouldn't want to do anymore," you reassured, shuffling on the couch so he'd be able to sit up and face you.

"I just mean- if there's anything you want me to do, I'll do it. You're my girlfriend, and you've already done so much for me, y'know? There's nothing I wouldn't do for you," he rebutted, staring at you with nothing but sincerity in his eyes.

You bit your lip, pondering whether or not you wanted your boyfriend to know about the sinister thoughts you'd always had about him — the thoughts of him in utter desperation as you gave him whatever it was he needed most at that moment.

But there wad something in his eyes; a look that showed you that his words were truthful. The boy wanted nothing more than to please you. He'd do anything you wanted, and that thought made you burn inside.

This was how you found yourself sitting in front of a deprived Jungkook by the end of the night, tied up and already on the verge of his third stolen orgasm of the night. As wicked as you felt, his eyes continued to tell the truth — he was enthralled by it all. As much as you loved a desperate Jungkook, it seemed as if he loved to be taken care of just as much.

...

find the 18+ continuation on kofi or patreon!

if you have trouble finding it on there, just let me know!!<3

[reality-detective]

You won't see or hear this 👇 on your tv, in fact you probably won't see it anywhere...

The below is the first of a series on the Deep State Cabal’s Underground DUMB Tunnels used for US illegal bioweapon labs and Child Sex Trafficking, Organ and Adrenochrome Harvesting.

· On 20 Feb. 2017 Julian Assange unveiled a bombshell on Fox News Hannity, alleging that Wikileaks had hard proof that former President Barack Hussein Obama, along with his sidekick Joe Biden, operated and participated in a pedophile ring based in the White House.

· On New Year’s Day 2021 and a few weeks before the Biden fake Presidential Inauguration that was partially filmed on a Hollywood movie set, Delta Forces (under direction of President Trump) had raided Joe Biden’s 200 acre property in the Ukraine. The Military found a maze of underground chambers and tunnels that ran for miles in every direction. Bits of necrotic flesh hung from ankle and wrist shackles bolted to the walls. Seized laptops were said full of evidence of Biden’s massive international money laundering, gun/ drug running, child/human trafficking scheme – that appeared connected to other high powerful elites.

· Within this last month the recently arrested Satan worshipping Jeffrey Epstein of Hollywood, P Diddy, was exposed by his daughter Ally Carter. Ally was a survivor of pedophilia and human trafficking and she dropped a bombshell: there’s an entire network of tunnels that spans across the United States, connecting cities such as beneath the White House in Washington DC and Disney World Florida. These tunnels, Carter claims, are being used to traffic humans, mainly children.

· Since at least the end of World War II, an extensive Worldwide network of DUMB Underground Tunnels used for Child Sex Trafficking have been financed, built and run by members of the illuminati, Deep State, or Cabal using US taxpayer dollars funneled through a CIA Black budget.

· This was about child sex rings and blackmail at the highest levels of government. Evidently President George H.W. Bush orchestrated a child sex ring to blackmail Congress and top officials. It was named “Operation Brownstone” and “Operation Brownstar”.

· A secret US Military Operation trained for over a year on how to rescue what became millions of horrifically abused children from that extensive network of Underground DUMB Tunnels. It ran across the US, Canada, Mexico, South America and then throughout the World. Recent operations centered beneath major cities in New York, California, Florida, Washington DC and Disney World in Florida.

· The vast Worldwide child rescue missions was headed by President Trump, the Pentagon Pedophile Task Force, US Special Forces and Marines in cooperation with Interpol, and various nations’ special military forces. They included arrests of pedophile perpetrators and destruction of the underground tunnels and bases through bombs that caused minor earthquakes.

· The rescues began on Oct. 16 2019 when US Marines, Navy Seals and Special Forces rescued over 2,100 caged babies and children beneath the China Lake Navy facility in California. The children and teens were said to have been sexually abused, tortured and killed to collect their adrenaline.

Secret Underground Tunnels Beneath Florida! Sat. 12 Oct. 2024: EXPOSED: Secret Underground Tunnels Beneath Florida! The Hidden Network Under Ybor City You Were Never Meant to Discover.

And after hurricane Milton blew through, Ezra Cohen who has been a very accurate source posted 👇

I'm going to try to keep up with this series, and let's see what comes up about Taiwan 🤔

[kawaoneechan]

Why I don't like Unity

There's three reasons, basically, besides my personal inability to get any custom character assets into Unity, Unreal, or Godot.

Let me tell you below the readmore.

Reason #1: it managed to fucking bluescreen my system just trying to start.

How do you fuck that up? I download an installer and run it. This gives me a launcher. From there, I'm supposed to install the actual product I wanted to begin with. That's bad enough, to be honest. But then the fucking launcher managed to break so badly, I had my first BSOD in several months. With all I do to my poor laptops, I so very rarely got crashes like that it honestly threw me the fuck off.

If the launcher is gonna play like that, forget about installing the actual product.

Reason #2: CPU pegging up the ass.

On my previous laptop, attempting to run basically any Unity-based game would peg the CPU, all cores, until the poor thing ran so hot within mere minutes, it'd commit preventative sudoku. Maybe if I was lucky, I'd get a chance to set all the things to "lowest", and that might let me, I dunno, play long enough to get through the goddamn tutorial?

And I'm not even talking about state-of-the-art 3D games, but simple 2D games with low-resolution pixel art. Why would those run a dual-core at 200% until it fucking kills itself? Makes no sense.

Now, Phil Fortier of Icefall Games is an acquaintance of mine via SCI shenanigans, and when he released Snow Spirit (soon to be rereleased as part of Chronicles of Cascadia), I lamented to him about how his use of Unity would mean I couldn't run any of his stuff. So Phil looked into it and found a Big Fucking Thing to optimize. This basically makes Phil's SCI games the only things made in Unity that I can personally trust won't Do That.

Reason #3: About those 2D games...

I'm gonna dip into my Twitter archives for a bit and repost some stuff for this part.

*wavy flashback effect*

This is Angel Jump, a simple little arcade jumping game that's available on itch.io:

It's delightfully low resolution and has like four seconds of audio all added up. Can't be more than a few MB, depending on which sane development framework they used, right?

33 MB, actually. Because Unity. Let's see how it breaks down:

Unity main exe: 623 KB

Main game assets file: 1.19 MB together

A folder full of support DLLs like terrain and cloth: 7.17 MB, 90% or more of them never called because this is a 2D pixel-art game.

Unity's default resources: 3.41 MB. Mind that of these, only the splash logo is actually used because Angel Jump was made in the free edition.

Mono embedded runtime: 2.61 MB, and each game gets its own copy, much like how Electron apps each have their own copies of Chromium.

And another 17 MB for the Unity Player.

All in all, 33 MB of files for a game like that. Why? Because Unity is a bloated crapsack, I'd conclude from a cursory study like that. Let's compare that to some other games.

This is Elevator Girl, which is not on itch.io.

It has a lot of different animations and three fairly long background music tracks. It's only one file, 18.7 MB. I'm willing to bet most of that is the BGM, but I can't confirm it because it's just the one file.

And just for some historical perspective, the entire Crystal Caves trilogy is 1.31 MB, including some chaff. Commander Keen 4 on its own is 740 KB. Now, Keen and Elevator Girl both have OPL soundtracks, but the latter's is probably streamed.

Noxico is only 1.25 MB to download as a .7z file. Its only optimization that I myself actively apply is that I crunch the PNG files. The rest is text, and since the game uses a .zip file by another name as a game data source... yeah. That's a cheap win.

Now, back to Angel Jump. I went through the game's own resources to see what size it could conceivably have if it was not made in Unity. 54 textures, ten of them actually used. Tiny font stored in a weird way, possibly for distance field trickery which has no business in a 2D pixel game if you ask me. 921 KB of WAV files, high-quality bleepity-bloops, two of them jingles. 4.22 KB of PNG files, crunched like Noxico, for all but the creator's logo and the font. 973 KB for a copy of SDL, and I'd estimate at worst two MB for the main EXE.

The entire Angel Jump game could be no more than 4 MB and a half-dozen files, It's actually 33.2 MB, 92 files.

There's a more general computer programming issue that this reliance on Unity for even the simplest, smallest games seems to spring from: the bigger and better the computers get, the more lazy the developers get. Only have like four MHz, 640 KB of RAM and, what, 720 KB of diskette space, and no guarantee of an HDD? Better make the most of it, developers! But now the pressure's off and there's no more reason to exert any effort into keeping small games actually small.

*sigh*

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

(Daily Writerly Questions #4) Which writing tools do you use most frequently?

Hey fellow writers! I'm super excited to share that I've just launched a Tumblr community. I'm inviting all of you to join my community. All you have to do is fill out this Google form, and I'll personally send you an invitation to join the Write Right Society on Tumblr! Can't wait to see your posts!

Let’s spark some creativity with a fun writing prompt challenge! Here’s the prompt:

“Your character stumbles upon a hidden door in their favorite place. When they open it, they find something completely unexpected.”

Feel free to interpret this prompt in any way that inspires you! Here are a few guidelines:

Keep it short and sweet: Aim for 100-200 words.

Be creative: The more imaginative, the better!

Share your story: Post your response in the comments below.

I can��t wait to see what unexpected encounters your characters will have. Happy writing! 🌟

[snowgraybeautywhite]

The extraordinarily amazing goodnightonion is far too kind and sewed May this amazing Starbucks apron! It is so accurate and well-made 😭😭😭

Also below the readmore is some silly doll story.

Amandine huffed and pulled her hood further forward over her head. First the underground parking at Nordstrom’s had inexplicably all been full, and now Beantown was randomly closed for a “team meeting.” She was going to have to go to Starbucks. Crowded, sunny, corporate Starbucks. Ugh.

She shifted her backpack as she stood in line. There wasn’t a free table in the back yet, but she was prepared to dart out of line and put her bag down as soon as someone stood up. Her focus was so intent on the seating that she wasn’t paying attention when—

“Good morning! Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you?”

Amandine’s eyes flicked over onto the cashier. She was smiling broadly, her high cheekbones touching wide eyes with a sparkle in them that should be illegal before ten a.m. “Um, a large Americano, please.”

The girl kept smiling. “Would you like 16 ounces with three shots of espresso, or 20 ounces with four shots of espresso?”

“20 ounces, please.” Stupid Starbucks sizing.

“Coming right up! What’s your name for the cup?”

“Amandine,” Amandine said, “A–” preparing to spell it, but the girl cut her off.

“Amandine! Like the cake?”

Something crunched in Amandine’s brain, and she actually looked at the girl. Made direct eye contact. Her eyes were a sort-of warm gray. Almost lavender, really. Her cheeks were dusted with freckles. Her shiny blonde hair, despite the flyaways, combined with the freckles to make her look like Ra himself had blessed her with his radiance. Wait. What the fuck was she thinking? “No. Like the potato.”

The girl laughed. “That’ll be $3.75, please. I like your contacts.”

“Thanks.” Amandine handed her a five, and dropped the change in the tip jar.

“Good morning! Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you?”

The back of the shop had a free table all of a sudden, and Amandine bolted for it. She unpacked her laptop on autopilot. Was she finally going crazy? She was something like 360 years old, more or less. A lot of vampires–turned ones, at least–lost it at 200. Lack of sleep and everyone you’d ever known being dead could do that to a person. Purebloods supposedly didn’t go crazy, but then again, they could also supposedly turn into bats, and she’d never seen Ambrose do that in the twenty years she lived with him. She’d have to be careful. Monitor herself for signs of insanity. Certainly something to Google.

“Amanda!” called a different barista. “Amanda Ee-nay?”

As Amandine shuffled over to get her coffee, she saw the sunny cashier looking at her again. Looking so hard she missed something her customer said, and he repeated himself loudly. Maybe the girl was from a hunter family. Maybe she suspected Amandine. She’d even brought up the “contacts.” Yeah, that must be it. Not, to be fair, that she had a killer vibe or anything. Maybe she had a bait vibe. She did seem like she’d be extremely good at being bitten.

The coffee smelled delicious, and Amandine felt her daily bitterness at not being able to drink it. She set the cup on the table and settled her laptop over her lap. She pulled up her “manager’s” e-mail and started reading. Most of the sponsorship offers were ludicrously low, but one for a new model of headset was worth replying to. Never say no to headsets with cute shit on them. She also had to reply to Greg at Raid Shadow Legends, again. Amandine worked, and occasionally held her cup to her lips. The fiery coffee felt heavenly, and it reminded her of her real thirst. She hadn’t bitten anyone in a few days. She was going to have to get that done tonight or tomorrow. It was really too bad about coffee being considered a morning drink. Biting someone with a caffeine addiction was much nicer than biting a drunk.

After two hours, Amandine decided to pack up. She resolved solidly that she was going to go out the side exit, and not pass the registers at all. She pulled her hood all the way forward again. She dumped her full coffee into the dump bucket so quickly nobody not supernatural would have noticed. And then she was walking right past the registers, and the girl was still there, and no one was in line, and her voice was like a bell. “Thanks for coming to Starbucks! See you next time!”

Amandine scowled so hard she thought her eyebrows might’ve crossed each other. She certainly hadn’t looked back at the girl again. She’d just suddenly realized that she’d read her nametag the first time. It was probably good, tactically, to know her name, so she could check it against known hunter families. Yup.

The girl’s name suited her. It was May.

[jenroses]

I just ordered a bunch of pieces parts that I'm gonna turn into a computer.

I've built systems before, like eh 15 years ago or more, and I cannot overstate how delightful it is that the persistence of modularity means that while the system I'm building now will be functionally the equivalent of dozens of times the power of the computer I built then, the bones of it are all pretty similar.

Motherboard. Cpu. Cooler. Power supply. RAM. Storage. Case. Fans. Graphics card. Operating system. Monitor.

Now some things have changed. You can now buy literally everything with vivid rainbow lights, and for a few minutes I stared at the pretty modern cases with their windows and rave -like interiors, and dreamed of the gayest computer on the planet.

Then I remembered that I'm a photophobic mushroom who computers in a darkened room and hates bright high contrast lighting and spent more dollars to get a case without a window.

Also, water cooling terrifies me. Not because the idea is unsound but because while I'm confident in my ability to insert tab a into slot b to assemble a computer by going slowly and following instructions, the very notion of me handling liquids around electronic components sounds inherently fraught.

So I did not go with components which require such things.

Infodumping below the cut.

(for the curious: fractal design define r5 case, msi pro z790-p WiFi ddr4 mobo, i5136000kf (14 core), 64gb ddr4 RAM, radeon rx6800 16gb, deepcool ak400 zero dark plus cooler, 4x 140mm case fans, Corsair 850w modular platinum ps, 1 tb ssd for the os and a 2tb ssd for the games, both pcie4x4 nvme, and a curved 27 inch 2k monitor. This is upgrading from a 2015 laptop which is still very robust with an i76700 quad core processor, 16gb RAM, 1tb ssd and a gtx950m 4gb graphics card which just this year stopped meeting minimum specs for the games I want to play. I figure the new system could last me another 8-10 years.)

Is 64 gb of ram overkill? Hahahaha yes. But it's about a hundred bucks. Is 3tb overkill? No but it's also about 120 bucks. Do I need a 27 inch monitor? Mayyyybe but it's $200. The real splurge is the video card and CPU, but I'm not going to regret those at all when I'm playing starfield and bg3.

(I'm also going to play every game I've been playing at low settings on ultra just because I can. Subnautica is gonna be so pretty.)

Interestingly, the parts come with three games, including the one I initially decided to build a system for (starfield). The processor comes with assassin's creed mirage and something I didn't recognize. Going with Intel for the processor and AMD for the GPU ended up being very much in my favor that way as if I'd gone ryzen, I'd have ended up with two copies of starfield.

I think the last time I built a system from scratch it had 4-8 gigs of RAM and a 2gb video card and maybe a dual core cpu maybe not. I've done some bare bones systems since then and a lot of upgrades, but not from-the-ground-up.

Amusingly, while doing this, I thought I was going to hand my laptop down to my son. Then I realized that in a pandemic fugue state in 2021 I bought him and my husband computers with part of the stimulus that were basically maxed out refurb systems that somehow are running 32g of RAM each and the only real weakness in their systems are graphics, which hubby doesn't use and which can be easily upgraded for my son for like <$150 to double his vram.

I have minimal memory of buying these systems but it makes sense for how little they complain about them. (old Dell optiplex systems. I think I spent 400 on each of them at the time. With upgrades.)

So since I've been hyperfixated on this process I've been watching a lot of pc building YouTube and it's been very helpful but also very popcorn. So much drama. Le gasp.

My one regret about not getting a flash light up system with lots of rgb is that it would impress the hell out of my 11 year old but I seriously can't deal with that much light up distraction and the extra cost for the components has been spent on a better GPU.

Anyway this is all going to be much cheaper than trying to find a system with equivalent stats prebuilt, and it's been a while since that was true when I was in the market for a computer.

[metamatar]

sorry if this is insensitive, what’s the min wage in india? bc here 200$/month is the min wage and “really really really good earnings to travel once a year and buy a computer” start at 1000$ a month lol. most people earn around 300$ though :)

Legal minimum wage varies by state, 65USD per month in Bihar but can go upto 200USD in Delhi. Unfortunately most people earn below the minimum because we are a country that barely enforces any labor protections. Most work is done in an informal economy that the state has little awareness about. The buy a nice laptop and go on vacation life is possible at 600USD in Tier 1 cities like Delhi.

[those-late-night-feels]

Letters

Part 3

Summary: Writing everything down should help you process your feelings. Somehow it always turns into letters to him.

Warnings: Grief, angst, eventual smut.

Feb. 23

Time since you've left doesn't pass like it used to. I find myself staring out, my vision blurred at moments–grains of sand, waves crashing in, the starry night sky–spans of seconds and hours feel the same. Everything now overlaps, past with present, like a palimpsest, everywhere I look traces of you remain. You're like a ghost that haunts me and I ache for one of those visions to be real.

Are you still out there, somewhere in the vastness in front of me? I've heard the stories of your multiple deaths, only to come back again somehow. Is this another trick? Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane.

Fingertips drew lines in the sand, making patterns that would soon wash away with the tide. The cool breeze was welcomed as the sun dipped into the horizon, waiting until you could count the stars again, search for a planet (maybe two). He once told you how many different planets he had been to in his lifetime, at the time you were only half listening while studying for a mission. Did he say 200? Or was it closer to three?

As the sun's last rays passed below the curvature of the earth and the stars began to appear, it brought you back to your last mission with him. The Quinjet flew in stealth mode at dusk, and the team would arrive in Lichtenstein by nightfall.

The mission would take a few days, first surveillance and then infiltration. A hotel room was booked for you and Loki under the cover of a traveling couple.

It was cold when you arrived, the wind biting through your layers. Loki had changed appearances, donning a dark cropped haircut and a pristine suit. When he emerged from the Quinjet, he held his arm out. "Ready darling?"

Tucking a red strand of hair from the wig you wore behind your ear, you took his arm. A private car waited on the tarmac to take you to the hotel where you'd set up surveillance.

The hotel room was large, a living area, kitchenette, and a luscious separate bedroom adorned with fluffy pillows and blush roses. Sleeping arrangements ignored, you focused on setting up the surveillance, preparing for the long night ahead.

Time passed by slowly while watching with long lenses from the window, earpieces to pick up anything unusual. Loki stretched in the hard wooden chair, exasperated. "This is it, this is how I'm going to die."

You side eyed him from the surveillance lense. So dramatic. "Is this work below the means of a god?"

"I thought when they requested my skills, it would be for fighting and deception. Not whatever this is," he said, waving his hand in front of the window. "Please, regale me with tales of your life. Anything would be livelier than this!"

"I'm flattered you think my life story would be slightly less dull than this. But, I thought you already knew everything when you invaded my mind…" you said flatly, pausing to listen in on your headphones and take notes.

He pursed his lips and studied you. Adorable, trying to ignore him.

"Despite what you think, I barely touched the surface." He propped his legs up on the table in a flourish, head cradled in his hands. "Please, how is it that you've never allowed a man or woman to experience you so intimately? Do you…not have that desire?"

The clicking of keystrokes on the laptop were the only sound for a moment, focusing on a steady breath as your cheeks warmed. He wouldn't get the satisfaction of making you cringe, pressing your tongue to the roof of your mouth. "I doubt you would understand," you said flatly.

His lips turned up in amusement, it was evident without even looking up. "Because I'm a god? Or because I'm ravishing?"

The look you gave him was less annoyed, more matter of fact. "Because I haven't found anyone that matters enough."

There was no snarky comeback, no witty retort. Had you finally silenced him for the night? You turned back to the work and attempted to focus again, the hairs on your arm standing up as you felt his stare heavy upon you.

Did you have desires…what kind of question was that? Of course you had them. But it was hard to hold onto them when everyone either disappointed you or left. Your heart was secured in an impenetrable fortress. For your own protection.

It was hours into the night when exhaustion started to weigh in, fighting the oncoming yawns and eye strain. Loki watched as you rubbed your eyes, trying to shake the need for rest. "Go lie down for a bit," he offered. "I can handle this for a few hours."

He noticed the hesitation. This mission was your baby. It was important. You continued to type up notes, another yawn, eyes straining. Your fingers stilled when the warmth of his palm rested on your wrist. He wasn't one to touch you often, and the sudden contact was a jolt to your senses.

"You need your energy for tomorrow." He spoke your name and your eyes traveled from where his hand stilled, up to his own eyes lingering above. The silence was palpable. Swallowing, you nodded and stood, only allowing an inch of space in front of him. His questioning gaze turned your stomach in knots and a nervous, tired smile crept up your face, giving a quiet thanks and slinking past him to the bedroom alone.

March 9

When it's dark and quiet and the world is still, my thoughts drift to you. It reminds me of that first night in Lichtenstein, laying in bed and you just on the other side of the closed door. Did you think about coming in that night?

I wasn't lying when I told you I hadn't found anyone that mattered enough. But I also hadn't felt someone look at me like you did. My body reacted in a way that wasn't normal. It made me confused. Uncomfortable. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed when you didn't come in that night. Instead, I was invaded by sunlight in the morning, well rested and ready for the green light to infiltrate that night.

It was a black tie event, which you took to with ease in a sharp suit and slicked hair. Even though you could dress with the flick of the wrist, you fiddled with your cufflinks when I emerged from the room, pausing to give a very obvious one-over.

And when I twirled around and asked what you thought, you gave me one word. "Ravishing." The choice of word wasn't lost on me.

Loki had turned, moving with a determined pace like a wild animal in hunt of prey. Frozen in place, his abrupt movement left you transfixed.

The crackling on your earpiece made you jump and Loki stilled, close enough to feel him near you, but not enough that he would step back. "Alright team," the voice in your earpiece said. "We are T-minus 30 for all positions in place. Do you copy? Over."

You quickly reached to your earpiece and copied, like a child being caught with their hand in the cookie jar. But Loki was much slower, enjoying how you almost squirmed under his gaze. "Copy," he said, his eyes never breaking yours, then to you, "Are you ready to play?"

The event, a charity ball for high profile elites and government officials, was held in a 13th century castle overlooking a lake. Ancient stone walls, moss covered bridges, candle lit chandeliers–if you weren't on a mission, you'd think this was quite a romantic night.

The mission was complex–accessing an official's credentials via their fingerprint and facial recognition, Loki would need to get in close to the subject before he'd be able to use his magic to mimic. After bypassing security, you'd access a main database on the locations of children who were kidnapped and currently being prodded and tested into becoming super soldiers.

A glass of red wine held, you mingled through the crowd with Loki by your side, speaking under your breath before taking a sip. "Mr. X just rounded the corner of the north pillar. You have your eyes on him?"

"On him. Give me two minutes."

You resisted the urge to comment on the amount of time he needed, it was too obvious. Taking a last sip of wine, you slipped through the crowd, down a hallway as Loki spoke into your earpiece. "Got it. Ready?"

You turned a corner and there he was, no longer Loki, but Mr. X, leading the way to an upper room, the door secured by an intricate security system that he unlocked swiftly with a retina and fingerprint scanner. Inside was a vault. You methodically turned the dial, listening to the clicks of the internal locking system. When a portal door emerged, Loki pulled a key from his pocket dimension and presented it to you. "Would you like to do the honors?"

The key slipped in, turning until the door released. Your heart palpitated when the door opened, knowing you were one step closer. Loki grabbed the flash drives, the hard drives, the papers, stuffed into the inside breast jacket pocket. It was difficult to hide your smile, that feeling of accomplishment, and then your attention pulled toward the shouts and footfalls coming toward you.

"Shit," you mumbled, feeling naked without your katana by your side, but it was hard to hide a 28 inch blade within the form hugging dress.

Rushing out of the vault, you followed behind as Loki turned to the left away from the commotion, trying every door down the hall, but they were all locked. Another corner, another hallway, down a stairwell, through the door and back to the crowded party. Your steps slowed while weaving through the crowd, keeping a low profile.

You grabbed a champagne flute, he grabbed your hand, going deeper into the room. He spun you to face him, pulled your hand up to his neck. The abrupt action startled you and he gave an entertained smirk.

"Smile darling, we're putting on a show," he whispered in your ear. Your lips turned up as your pulse raced. "Now, glance behind me and tell me how many there are."

You gave him the details, ten in all that you could spot and their exact locations. The two of you could handle them all fairly well, but any weapons they had might make it more difficult for you.

"Alright," he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "I want you to take this and head to the entrance. I'll be right behind you. If I notice you are drawing any attention, I'll divert them." He placed the smaller flashdrive in your palm and nudged you away. Head down, heart pounding, you counted the steps toward the exit. You could make it in two minutes. Right, left, right, left. Your eyes went up to two security guards on your right, neither looking at you. It was working, you'd be able to slip by. Sixty seconds. A security guard leaned to listen into their shouldered mic, and then his eyes looked up directly at you. You bent your head back down, turning slightly to glance behind you. Where did he go?

The security guard took a step forward in your direction at a determined pace. And then, behind you, commotion, a glass breaking, a woman screaming, the security guard running right past you, and you were 30 seconds to the exit. You'd make it out. Loki would be fine, he was a god you reminded yourself, he could take care of himself. And yet–fifteen seconds–you turned back and saw him fighting so many of them all at once. You had not been trained to slink away in the shadows to leave a teammate behind, it wasn't who you were.

Loki had dragged the flight out to the balcony overlooking the vast icy lake. He'd pulled his daggers from his pocket dimension, a wicked smile on his face as he fought off the pathetic mortals. They were no match for him. But behind him, you saw one with a baton and a taser at the end. Turn around Loki, watch your back. He was too focused on the three in front of him. Your legs took action before your brain could process, sprinting outside. Lurching at the larger man in a moment and wrapping your legs around his neck, he flipped to the ground with a hard thud. Loki turned to see you hit the ground, his jaw clenched. "What? I can't let you have all the fun."

He grasped you by the arm to help you up. "I recall telling you to go."

You grabbed the baton from the downed man and smiled up at Loki. "Guess I'm a bad listener."

He huffed, turning to fight two men in front of him, while you used the baton like your katana, knocking three men out while Loki easily handled himself, and you smiled to yourself. For some reason you and he made a good team.

Loki turned, feeling your eyes on him, and then a look of panic washed over him as Mr. X stood behind you, gun pointing at your head.

"Enough of this! Drop your weapons." His voice was authoritative. "Now!"

You dropped the baton, giving a small nod to Loki as the daggers clattered to the ground. "On your knees."

Loki rolled his eyes in annoyance, a guard shoving him to the ground. "You too little missy."

Hands by your head, you turned slightly to look back at the man holding the pistol at your temple, sizing him up. He was tall and wiry, he knew how to handle a gun, but not as well as you. In seconds, your hands were on his, first making him drop the gun to the ground, second to flip your body onto his. His balance lost in the surprise commotion, he flailed in an attempt to get you off of him, going toward the balcony railing to fling you off. But if you were going over, he was coming with you. The last thing you heard before your body hit the icy waters below was your name from Loki's lips.

[hannieehaee]

ENDLESSLY (teaser)

18+ / mdi

summary: despite not having a large audience, jungkook's camboy career prevailed with the hopes that someday he'd make enough money to finally leave his dead-end job. what happens when one of his admirers offers to make that dream come true?

content: camboy!jungkook x trustfundbaby!reader, jungkook is shy, jungkook is a faceless camboy with a very small audience, reader is younger than jk, kind of pathetic!jungkook, reader is rich and very confident, slowburn (kind of), afab reader, smut, camming, masturbation (m receiving), oral (f receiving), dry humping, penetrative sex, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 2126 (teaser); 12.7k (full fic)

RELEASE DATE: june 28th

or you can check it out on my ko-fi or patreon today by subscribing to either one!

a/n: this took me forever to finish lol i hope its any good at all</3

masterlist | kofi/patreon

"Well, that's it for today guys, thanks for watching."

With an awkward chuckle, Jungkook reached out to his computer screen and shut the laptop closed, groaning just as he stopped being out of earshot.

233 viewers.

It wasn't much, but it was enough to give Jungkook the hope that maybe someday he'd be able to find pride in the number. Maybe his streams would blow up in views overnight one of these days – the hope prevailed. It had been a month since he hit the 200's, now garnering an average of 250 viewers per stream.

It was quite embarrassing to him sometimes. There were instances in which he'd finish a stream and regain full consciousness of his actions, becoming embarrassed at the knowledge of strangers watching him cum — of them hearing his voice and his whimpers as he played it up for their entertainment — and of him not even being able to make a living out of it.

He had to stay creative, sometimes finding scripts online that he'd read out to his viewers while he jerked off, playing the role of a subby coworker or a dominant childhood friend in order to keep his audience engaged (and maybe incite one or two to send money his way). Other times, he'd simply ramble about his life (but never get too specific) whilst he let himself lose control on camera.

Jungkook never once showed his face, only ever giving people glimpses at the tattoos decorating his arm and of his cock as it stood against his abs. The most he'd ever shown had been a small view of his lips before the camera's frame cut off.

He liked it this way.

In reality, he was too shy to ever be outspoken about doing such a thing, which was why no one in his life knew about it. He didn't judge anyone who enjoyed camming, but he was simply too self-conscious to do such a thing. Despite being aware of how handsome people thought him to be, he had never been too forward when it came to sex, much less this.

This had all started a little over a year ago, when he'd come across a few cammers on Twitter late into the night. Going on their accounts out of sheer curiosity, he realized that they each had a large following, not only on Twitter, but also on camming websites. Some of them even had their Patreons and PayPal accounts linked to their accounts, amassing even more revenue from these third party websites on top of their income from the camming sites. This was what mainly caught his attention.

Part of him felt bad about being on it solely for the money, but he was beyond desperate. And so he held the false hope that he'd somehow have the same luck as them and create an income out of this.

As someone who had only recently graduated university, having found no luck in his field, Jungkook had to resort to applying to jobs he felt were below his level of expertise. Having no connections in his field and no call-backs from employers, he found himself working a part time at a gas station accompanied by a part time at a grocery store. Both jobs were miserable to him.

The jobs themselves were not horrible, but attempting to manage both schedules and both sets of responsibilities was slowly weighing down on him. His coworkers were also not the best to be around. And did he mention the commute to each establishment? That part ate up at his days drastically, leaving him with almost no time for rest.

Jungkook knew that he should've given up on camming a long time ago. Hell, he'd made a grand total of $876 dollars in the past year he'd been at it. That would be a laughable amount to all the cammers that had inspired him into taking such a profession. But he didn't have any other prospects. Even as he worked his two jobs and cammed, he continued to search for more fulfilling (and better paying) employment, but was unable to ever even get any callbacks.

And so now he found himself doing about three streams per week, getting more and more discouraged each time he'd end a stream with the same low number of viewers.

With yet another sigh, Jungkook got up to go clean himself up, lethargic in his movements due to both the physical and mental exhaustion of having worked all day, only to come back home for a lowly appreciated stream.

Coming back from a much needed hot shower, he did his usual skin care before heading back to bed, where he had been recording just now. For a moment he pondered whether he should go to sleep now in order to get ready for work early next morning or to indulge in watching some anime as a reward for the tiring day.

Going for the latter, he opened his computer back up, sighing again when he remembered he hadn't closed the tab in which he'd been camming.

But before he could actually tap out of it, something caught his attention, making his eyes widen more than he thought possible.

burner98 donated $1,000

This must've been some sort of mistake. Right? Maybe they mistyped? No one in their right mind would donate such an amount to a faceless cammer ranking up to less than a thousand weekly views.

All his prior donations had been in the lower numbers, usually only ever amounting up to $20. Never had he ever gotten someone to donate anything in the triple digits, much less going into the quadruples.

The name of the donor also caught his attention. Babystarcandy. It was a frequent watcher who had been in attendance to every single stream of his starting a few months back — which was when they'd first made an appearance in his audience.

He had never noticed this viewer in particular, though they were one of the only people to ever grant him donations. They'd usually donate whilst he was off stream, which he found slightly strange but never questioned. Checking through his donation history, he saw this name listed three times prior, with donations of $5, $15 and $20 respectively. They'd happened throughout the months, with no pattern in particular. It made no sense for them to donate such a high amount to Jungkook out of nowhere, especially not while he wasn't actively on stream.

With a heavy heart and half a mind to simply keep the money, he decided to message the donor to inform them of their mistake and follow through with a refund.

So much for his anime binge before bed.

babystarcandy - Hey, burner98. Thank you so much for the kind donation, but I think you made a mistake. I'll refund you.

He decided to go with something kind of formal. After all, he'd never spoken to this person before.

Surprisingly, the response came within minutes. Being three in the morning, he assumed you'd wait til the following day to reply, but maybe you were in a different time zone.

burner98 - omg hiii !! did i make a mistake ?? im sorry !! i meant to send 1k. did it not go through correctly ?

Had that not been an accident? One thousand dollars?

This made no sense. Why would you send him such a large amount out of nowhere? That was more than he'd made in the entire past year. Hell, that was half his rent.

Jungkook had no idea how to respond to you.

As much as he wanted to accept it, it felt like robbing you of a fortune.

babystarcandy - Gosh, hi! No, the thousand came through, it's just ... Are you sure this is correct? This is a lot of money ... I'd feel terrible taking so much from you

Once again, you responded almost immediately.

burner98 - haha ur so cute

burner98 donated $2,000

burner98 - is that better ? ;)

Holy fucking shit.

Jungkook's hands were shaking at this point. His eyes couldn't believe what was right in front of him.

Quickly, he took out his phone to check his baking app, checking to see if the deposits were legitimate. Upon opening it, he found that his balance had in fact gone up $3,000. This was far more money than he'd ever had in his bank account.

He stared blankly at it for a few moments without so much as breathing. A reminder to snap out of his trance arrived in the form of another chime coming from his computer — a new message from you.

burner98 - did i scare u off :((

burner98 - just wanna help u out :(((

Immediately, he rushed to respond, not even thinking before typing anymore.

babystarcandy - no! not at all! this is just so much money. i dont want you getting yourself into financial trouble for me

Within seconds, you responded.

burner98 - haha it's okay i can afford it dont worry <3

He furrowed his brows worriedly, typing up yet another message.

babystarcandy - i really dont mean to sound ungrateful, but why ? it's so much money ... this is life-altering type of money for me (as made up as that may sound) my content isn't even that good. why are you giving me this?

He knew he was shooting himself in the foot by questioning it so much and not simply accepting it, but he'd learned through his life that good things don't just come out of nowhere. He needed more details. At least for his peace of mind.

burner98 - i adoooore ur content. u've helped me so much u have noooo idea !!! u deserve it !! u mentioned in ur live a week ago u were struggling with money, so ofc id wanna help u out pretty <3

Fuck. You actually liked his content? His content was worth $3,000 to you?

Jungkook was almost sure he had accidentally fallen asleep before he even opened his computer. Pinching himself a few times proved for this to be actually real.

babystarcandy - thank you so much. you have no idea how much this means to me.

babystarcandy - there has to be some way i can repay you.

Was he propositioning himself to you?

Not even Jungkook was sure. He had no idea what he was offering to you, but it was the middle of the night and he was extremely grateful. He couldn't help himself as he typed up that message and sent it.

burner98 - oh ? what would u suggest ?

Oh, fuck. You were agreeing. Okay ... Now what? Jungkook had nothing to offer. He was an amateur cammer with nothing to his name. What could some random person on the internet with tons of disposable income possibly want from him?

babystarcandy - maybe i could give you a call to thank you ? you know, one on one ?

He mentally kicked himself as soon as he sent that message.

What the hell was he thinking, offering up a personal call to some random person online? This could be a friendless creep for all he knew. He had no identifying information about you, other than knowing you apparently had a vast disposable income. I mean, hell, your account name was burner98, you clearly did not want to leave any traceable information about you.

Before he could backtrack (not that he would actually have the balls to), the three dots on your side of the conversation popped up, followed by another message from you.

burner98 - really ??? :00 that'd be amazing omg ... are you free tomorrow ? i'll make it worth your while <3

Staring at the $3,000 sitting cozy on his bank account, he didn't even let himself think before agreeing, sending a quick message in confirmation. He had work tomorrow, but maybe calling off would be worth it considering you were hinting at even more money.

Jungkook felt dirty for some reason, despite knowing what camming truly entailed. However, he also knew that there was nothing morally wrong with what he was doing, so he pushed that shyness to the back of his mind and began drafting up some sort of goodbye message that encapsulated your plans to call tomorrow and a few more thank you's for your donations.

burner98 donated $5,000

burner98 - just a little thank u for ur kindness ;) see u tomorrow baby ~

Jungkook had to swallow the gasp that was about to leave his body. Five thousand dollars??

You'd managed to drop eight thousand dollars on him within an hour's time. This was four months of his rent. Jungkook had never had this much money lying in his bank account. Its mere presence was making him nervous.

Not only that, but the thought of talking to someone who had this much money to give without a second thought scared him shitless.

There was no way he'd sleep tonight.

...

you can check it out today on my ko-fi or patreon by subscribing to either one!

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[onthewaytosomewhere]

summer banner to go with summer prompts again !!! yay!!

(bit of a late start today cuz woke up with headache/sinus/allergy blech! (and i like to do this on the laptop on my phone as it's easier lolz)) thanks ever so much @tailsbeth-writes for the tag 💚💚💚

The Rules: Copy the following prompts or make your own, post what fandoms you write for & your followers can request one of the prompts with a ship, character or fandom for a ficlet. Have fun! 

by now we all know the process but just in case leave me an ask with a prompt and a pairing or character from the fandoms listed below and i'll write you a lil something (this week i WILL be keeping myself between 200-500 words lolz) (as always friday is just an arbitrary measure of time and well i'll be working on them through the weekend lolz)

This week's prompts are summer activities:

🥖 Go for a picnic 🚙 Road trip 🍓 Fruit picking ☔ Get caught in a summer storm 🏳️‍🌈 Attend a pride event 🌅 Watch a sunrise/sunset ⛺ Go camping 💧 Have a water fight 🌞 Wildcard - you give me a summer setting I decide on an activity (doesn't have to be from above)

FANDOMS: RWRB (ANY AND ALL) and 911 -- OG (ANY AND ALL) AND LONESTAR (TARLOS)

tag ur it! (or maybe just for prompts lolz) @adreamareads @taste-thewaste @typicalopposite @thinkof-england @hgejfmw-hgejhsf

@judasofsuburbia @duchessdepolignaca03 @sparklepocalypse @priincebutt @piratefalls

@blueeyedgrlwrites @caterpills @tinyarmedtrex @suseagull04 @porcelainmortal

AND A BIG HUGE OPEN TAG FOR ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS IT!!!

(tag me plz so i can come give you prompts 💚)

[soobfi]

how did you make the "thief in the night" text on the banner?? :00

ty for askingg! laptop tut below the cut

9 steps with guiding gifs

uses the website pixlr

this is a laptop tutorial, so mobile settings may not be the same

PIXLR

i'm already signed in, but i believe this is what it looks like to new users as well.

(1) click create new and CHOOSE ANY IMAGE SIZE! for a square, press art grid.

(2) now that we're here, we want to go to the left and press the T, which will lead you to a text box, and then CLICK "ADD NEW TEXT", the upmost button on the new pop-out.

reminder: don't use the box labeled "name" to put your text, as that names the layer. use the box labeled "text".

for my example text, i'm going to use "soobfi." from the word i chose, i'm going to take out one letter and replace it with a space.

this is because in the text, you have to leave a space for the cursive letter like shown below. without the cursive "i," it's simply th_ef.

the letter i'll be taking out is B. (3) REPLACE THE LETTER YOU'RE REMOVING WITH TWO SPACES.

(4) now, let's ADD A FONT. the one i'm using below is candu by dora typefoundry. (download is linked)

please ignore how i already sized it up T^T same steps still apply

text sidebar -> scroll until you see font: verdana -> click it and select "+ add local font" -> select an .otf or .ttf file -> press okay (in file explorer) -> font is inputted

don't like the candu font? here's a list of similar fonts to look through! (link)

tip: to adjust your text, click it so the border surrounding it highlights in blue.

use the horizontal knobs on left or right to make your textbox (not your text) shorter or longer.

to make your text bigger or smaller, use the knob on the bottom.

you can also do this by scrolling down on the left side (where you wrote your text) and find size and alter it there.

to move around your text, click and drag.

(my settings: candu, size 200, middle align)

now, let's add the cursive letter. (5) ADD ANOTHER TEXT BOX.

go to the sidebar -> press the "T"

click "add new text"

there are two things that can happen when making a text box (both are shown in the video)

if you make a new text box while having no other text selected, it will add a regular text and you won't have to take any additional steps.

if you make a new text box with the previous text selected, you will have to click *off* of the selected area and unhide the previous layer.

can't see the layers? press the arrow on the right side. how to unhide the bottom layer? press the eye icon with a line through it.

(6) PLACE THE REMOVED LETTER IN THE NEW TEXTBOX. for me, this letter is b, so i'll add b to the new textbox. (i later on changed b -> B)

i'm not sure if it may be me only, but when i tried texting in the new textbox, it wouldn't let me type any letters.

if this is the case- reload. if reloading still doesn't work, copy the letter you're making cursive and paste it into the textbox.

(7) TURN YOUR LETTER CURSIVE. i will show the gif on how to change fonts again if refreshers are needed.

please be aware that you have to click a .ttf or .otf file. if you download a font and it's in a package (.zip), open the folder and extract the .ttf/.otf file.

the font i'm using for the b only is acroterion. (download is linked)

don't like acroterion? here's a list of similar fonts! (link)

my favorites: darleston, optiyork-script, tc wedding3, and beautiful.

"these look too swirly/extravagant for the style i'm going for" -> don't worry, as we're only using one letter from the font. the contrast from the sans-serif to the cursive is supposed to be drastic. still, if you would like a more minimal cursive look, here are some that i reccommend.

hello olivia, south hamburg, and bridget script.

(8) SIZE THE LETTER TO MATCH THE REST OF THE TEXT. you can move text by clicking and dragging, and adjust the size by using the knob on the bottom (pulling it up and down) or scrolling down on the sidebar and adjusting the size from there.

please make the textbox as small as the text.

how? move the tabs on the left or right of the textbox to shorten or lengthen it. this *will* move your text, but it's okay as you can move it back.

adjusting vs adjusted!!

i didn't record it, but i re-centered the text because i moved it downwards. if you want to center the text, click the sans-serif (the print letters) and adjust the cursive letter to match.

(9) save using the blue box in the bottom right corner and you're done!! you did so well ^3^ need any help? my inbox, asks, and replies are always open :D

[mouton-e]

quick n silly violinist!chuuya idea

so i lied and i think i actually do want to post some writing here because twitter honestly is a nightmare in so many ways...

anyway, here's some skk au where chuuya is a violinist and dazai is just fucking around in college or something (idk not important). for anyone that doesn't know, it's not uncommon for violinists/violists to have a small bruise around the left jawline area as a result of playing for a long time. the funny thing is they can look like hickeys, so that's what people sometimes call them (violin/viola hickeys). i was just thinking about it after seeing some online (ray chen's 'play with ray' reel) and this scenario came to me -- this was only supposed to be like 200-300 words max but here we are with 1k LOL. will probably touch up and upload to ao3 a bit later but for now:

the first time dazai noticed the small bruise by chuuya's lower jaw, he thought oh. well. good for him and whoever got to give him that very visible mark. maybe it was just a one-night stand, in which case again, good for chuuya for getting some. did not upset dazai at all. no, he was not experiencing odd twinges in his gut each time he made accidental eye-contact with the hickey.

the next day chuuya was still sporting it, in the exact same spot and just as vivid as the previous day. dazai didn't want to say he was curious, but he couldn't help his mind going into overdrive trying to figure out the individual behind the hickeys. if chuuya noticed a layer of distraction lining dazai's usual childish comebacks, he didn't comment.

a week later chuuya still had that damn hickey, and at this point dazai was more scoffing at this evidently enthusiastic hickey-giver than anything else because yeah, we get it, you love to kiss and suck and bite on the incredibly attractive area below the stupid chibi's jawline and leave a mark for everyone to see, but honestly couldn't you be a little more creative on where you leave them each time? like he has a whole neck free for access, not to mention collarbones too, how could one possibly refrain from— and dazai had the horrible realisation that he was. very jealous. and possibly in love.

the only solution was to avoid chuuya, of course. the alternative would be dazai struggling not to blush and stumble over his words when he made eye contact with the redhead, so dazai would just simply not see him. yes, this was fine. this was great! no chuuya, no annoying feelings or unwanted physiological reactions.

(lie. not seeing chuuya did not stop the images of the hickey from haunting dazai, or causing his face to heat up.)

it came as a relief disappointment when chuuya finally confronted him, around two weeks later. dazai had burrowed himself into a nook in the university library, content to play a mindless game on his laptop while surrounded by piles of unopened books, realising too late the sound of familiar purposeful footsteps. he was seized by the arm and tugged out the library door, whines of "ow, oww chuuya," gone unheard.

chuuya let go of him once they were in a secluded corner, then whirled around with hands on his hips.

"why are you avoiding me?" he asked. his expression was expectant, mouth set to curl into a scowl.

dazai discreetly flicked his eyes towards the underside of chuuya's jaw. it was still fucking there. he turned his chin away in a display of haughtiness. "i have to get back to studying. i don't have time for chatting with slugs."

he made to leave, but chuuya grabbed his arm again.

"no, you dick, you are not slipping your way out of this. i bet you weren't even studying, anyway. why are you avoiding me?" then a slight pause. "did i do something?"

oh. no scowl, then. instead chuuya's lips were pursed, brows knitted in something like... worry?

dazai panicked. "no," he said quickly. "well, you didn't do anything, it's more like the doing of one such thing unto you that, you know, has rendered me-"

"what the fuck are you talking about?"

now chuuya was peering at him suspiciously and dazai just knew he had to look away, away from the piercing blue or else he would be an embarrassing red — yes, good, away from the eyes and past the chin and the jaw and oh fuck, there's the fucking hickey i need to stop looking at it oh god why can't i look away-

"why are you staring at-" chuuya looked down at himself in confusion. "what are you looking at?"

dazai snapped his eyes up, guilty as if he had just been caught stealing from the cookie jar. chuuya looked more concerned than ever.

"dazai," he said slowly, eyes narrowed, "are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

defeated, dazai sighed. he squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath through his nose. then, fixing chuuya with what he hoped was a look of nonchalance, dazai asked the million-dollar question: "who gave you that?"

"... gave me what?"

he gestured vaguely towards the chuuya's neck. "the... hickey," he finished sullenly.

chuuya looked bewildered. he blinked for a few seconds. then, like he was gradually reaching the solution to a puzzle, "are you asking about my violin hickey?"

dazai blinked back. "huh?"

he pointed at it directly. "this?"

"... yes?"

"ah." the redhead seemed to be biting back a grin. "i see now."

chuuya inched forward and laid a hand on dazai's shoulder. the latter tried to pretend he wasn't having trouble regulating his breathing. "dazai," chuuya said. "this is a bruise that resulted from practising violin. not from... somebody's mouth."

"oh," dazai said dumbly.

"you'll see that quite a few violinists and violists will have it."

"oh," he said again.

chuuya was definitely smiling now. and dazai's face was definitely red.

"is this why you've been avoiding me?" chuuya asked, voice wavering on a laugh.

dazai scowled. "fine, chibikko. yes, i was avoiding you because i couldn't stand seeing that bruise on full display every day, and— don't laugh, you're being mean!"

chuuya had tipped forward, head shaking against dazai's chest as he failed to contain his giggles. "you were so disturbed by a hickey that you couldn't even talk to me?"

"chuuuyaa, you don't understand! it was excruciating seeing the thing because my brain kept telling me i should be the one to administer it!"

the laughter died down. chuuya looked up, eyes widening with the realisation of dazai's words. his hand was still clutching the taller's shoulder, leaving their faces just a breadth apart. dazai watched in fascination (and maybe a little satisfaction at having the upper hand again) as a healthy blush began to spread across chuuya's cheeks. "o-oh," he echoed.

"yeah," dazai breathed. "so what does chuuya say?" he leaned down slightly, a hand straying by the other's waist. "can i have a taste?"

after a second, wherein chuuya's gaze shifted from brown eyes to lips to eyes again, he dipped his head back down to rest against dazai's chest with a huff. "not here, you idiot. i'm not having you kiss me for the first time in the middle of this damn building."

"gasp, chuuya, my kiss is that special to you?"

"shut up and get your things, shitty mackerel."

dazai beamed.

[thessalian]

Thess vs The Epitome of Sisyphean Tasks

Welp.

So I logged into the work laptop around 4pm (I couldn't sleep well last night because pain; stayed in bed until 2 and then had a very necessary lounge for a couple of hours). I knew I'd done pretty well and just needed to clear out Thursday's typing (twenty-odd reports) and make a dent in Friday and maybe even get us to below 200 reports for once. I need to make a reasonable dent now or my next few weeks are going to be nothing but overtime.

I log in ... and we're over 300 reports again. When I'd left us at 250-ish at 9:30 last night. So I check the most recent reports, dreading what I'm going to find, and ... yep. One of the doctors came in at 9am this morning and worked basically all damn day. And in my first half-hour of overtime, she was still there. She finally left around 4:30, after leaving fifty fucking reports in the queue. So the little leeway I managed to carve myself after three hours of overtime every day for the last four days just got wiped out. I feel like Sisyphus, but without the having done anything so bad that I deserve this shit.

I also had a look at what New Girl managed yesterday. 32 fucking reports, she managed to type between 11am-4pm. Compare that to the 80+ I normally manage in those same work hours. I don't know if she does other stuff around the office meantime, or whether 11-4 are her normal hours, but ... she is not working out. She is of nearly no help.

Meanwhile, here's me. I don't want to cancel another Saturday D&D session, even if I hurt this badly. Plus I'm just going to use that time to work anyway. I need to get this whittled down or it's just going to keep building up. But I haven't done anything but work, occasionally stuff some food into myself, and limp around the place for weeks. I should not be doing this. Occupational Health says so. But if I didn't, we'd be fucking drowning.

I have too much work ethic, and too much pain, and a tic under my right eye, and so much fucking frustration. I have stuffed an apple and half a carrot into my face, and now it's back to work. But I'm doing all the short ones. All of them. When I get those little ones finished, then maybe I'll work on some of the longer ones. But if I'm giving up my free time and hurting myself this much, I'm at least going to allow myself the same luxury of pick-and-mixing the dictation that Temp and New Girl give themselves every fucking day. It's getting done. It wouldn't be if I wasn't doing this to myself. I will not feel guilty about this.

...Okay, I will, but I will bolster myself so I don't let the guilt make me do another ten-minute monstrosity.

[aristoteliancomplacency]

My New Year’s resolution is gonna be to take better care of my laptop. By which I mean: get browser tab count down below 200 (currently close to 400 <_<;;) and less than 15 open PDFs (currently 20something)

[writingsbychlo]

Hi I'm very shy and introverted and the guy I'm seeing is very much the opposite. Very extroverted, life of the party, has a very huge group of friends kinda guy. He is super sweet and caring but the fact that we are so different makes me nervous going into this relationship. Do you have any tips/ advice Chlo? 🥹

i put it below the cut 🤍

honestly, I would say you’re onto a win. an introvert girly like us always wins when they get an extrovert boyfriend. you don’t have to talk to people because they take care of that. you don’t have to send your own food back or make a complaint or even call a helpline. you wanna leave? they make the excuses. you don’t wanna go? they go and say you got sick.

my laptop once broke and I was getting screwed over by the repair people, and when I told my friends how they were charging me like £400 more than the original quote and wouldn’t explain it properly, not one but two of my extrovert male friends jumped in. they went down and made them explain the whole thing, they got £200 off my repair and a free service thrown in, and they didn’t make me do shit. except, when one of them said “don’t look at me to ask if it’s okay, ask her.” i swooned a little, won’t lie.

obviously, there is sacrifices on your behalf. he’s gonna wanna go out more, and he’s gonna wanna take you with him. you’re his girl. he wants to be with you, out, where he thrives. however; my advice for that is to befriend one of his friends really well. then you always have someone else to talk to. if he has any girl friends, even better, because you can become besties. it becomes easier. “hey, is jenny going?” “oh, jenny is here!” “I’m going to the bathroom with jenny.” it makes it easier, you see? latch onto at least one friend.

lastly, enjoy it! all new relationships are scary, i actively avoid them because I’m a fucking pussy so it’s real bold of me to be giving advice and I KNOW ki is gonna read this and think “girl you had a meltdown two months ago about a guy who do you think you are?” but coaches don’t play and i don’t take my own advice that’s who i am 😌💅🏼 so, have fun and be happy. be honest about your boundaries, talk about the boundaries before going out each time. I find establishing a time limit on events helps. say you’ll leave at a certain time, and if you’re having fun, stay! if you’re not, you already planned to leave at that time!

I hope this helps 🤍