#laptop crashed again and i'm not in a very good state physically

[ginjithewanderer]

A3! Web Manga Translation — Chapter 297: Because I Have Days Off

Itaru is planning out how to enjoy Golden Week, and...?

Featuring: Itaru, Kazunari, Taichi Original at http://manga.a3-liber.jp/comic/1968/

[philograce]

Just right

Paring: modern! Eren x reader

Warnings: angsty, resolution in the end, shouldn’t cry:,)

Summary: You and Eren were simply friends but new emotions cause him to build walls around his heart until you finally break them down.

Notes:: I don’t really like this one but I never post anything angsty so:3 anyway if any of you 23 babes wanna submit something go ahead!! I don’t think I really have to set smthn up but lemme know if I do.

Words: 1.8k

Proofread: NOOO well KINDA

It was frustrating. Stupidly annoying and dumb how much Eren could make you feel guilty without every saying it out loud. How your dumb attractive roommate could leave you flustered yet so utterly angry. The past six months it had been this way, simple glares and small actions he would do leaving you confused, yet Eren had his subtle ways to remind you of the strong bond between you two.

When you first met him around 5 years ago, both freshmen meeting each other through your mutual friend Sasha and the two of you instantly connecting, and both of you finding out that you were both looking for a place to live. So, naturally it made sense after a couple months of getting to know each other, that you would move in with one another.

Easily melding together, situating both of your schedules finding out that they were perfectly aligned, Eren was even a good cooker and you great cleaner. It was the perfect solution for the both of you. The other positive was growing closer to him and he growing closer to you.

That's why it confused you with this sudden silent treatment you were receiving from Eren. For the past couple months he seemed off, always too busy to be hanging out with you, never really talking to you unless other friends were around. If it wasn't for the strong emotions you felt with him you would've let it slide, but there were those unspoken new emotions and underlying feelings.

They seemed to start randomly and suddenly, little moments with him leaving your cheeks flustered and your heart beating, the tension seemingly thick between you two leaving the room feeling stuffed and overcrowded. You felt yourself caring for Eren more than a friend would, growing to like his presence with you at all times, and missing him when he left.

It was all simple signs of a growing crush, a innocent yet powerful crush that seemed to prevail. That's why it obviously hurt when Eren seemed to take a sudden dislike towards you. But you were scared and your insecurities got the best of you whenever you tried to confront him about it. You just left it, left the flame between you two to slowly fizzle out. Before all this you used to think Eren might like you back, everything he did showed signs he might, but now your brain kept telling you that was just how he was as a friend.

Now sitting in the kitchen, eyes strained from how long you were staring at the screen, trying to write an essay but your mind was constantly filled with him. Then the door jiggled and he walked in, keys hitting the ceramic bowl as he threw them in, his feet shuffling fully inside, arms moving to take his jacket off. You kept your eyes trained on your screen, not daring to look at him afraid of the glare he might be giving you.

"You're still up? You should head to bed." His voice deepening as it resonated throughout the small kitchen, flickering a single gaze up to his figure you noticed how disheveled he looked. His long dark hair lazily slicked back, eyes drooped and blown out, knuckles drawn with purple bruises and dried blood. It pissed you off, the state he was in and the sudden "caring" words he sent your way left your blood boiling.

Eyebrows furrowing together, you quickly shut your laptop moving out of the kitchen and away from him, at least that's what you tried to do before a hand grabbed your wrist yanking you back. "Don't walk away from me." His commanded, a sort of desperation laced behind the seemingly angry words.

You turned back, staring him right into his eyes noticing the confusion laced within, it seemed that every pint up rage and light night cries flowed out of you. "Do you hate me?" You didn't want it to go this way or ask him that question even, part of you wishes you just kept your mouth shut, but the look of complete anger covering his face only fueled your desire to know the answer.

In reality it seems like a simple question between two close friends, one that would usually be answered with an equally simple statement. But, this was different the sudden collapsing of a bond had been destroyed by the both you, leaving you both alone and bitter. It was also different because Eren was frightened and so angry and all kinds of confused. But most of all, he felt so alone even with you a couple feet away from him.

Eren knew this familiar feeling settling in his bones, the kind where he knew no one really cared that he was always going to be some wicked monster, always hurting the ones he loved the most. But he never wanted to include you in that pile, the pain stricken look on you face sent waves of emotions crashing down into his heart. He hated how you made him feel so much, so used to the numbness that would often consume him.

When he first met you, the first thing he noticed about you was how expressive your eyes were. How they seemed to tell your whole story, but he wasn't expecting you to be able to read him so well either. Used to putting on a pretend face and laid back attitude for the strangers around him, but growing closer to you that wall he built up was broken slowly and slowly down by your gentle loving words and touches. He loved it as much as he hated it, something new and exciting was building up in him but as soon as he noticed his feelings growing more and more attached to you, he brought them down and tried to bury them deep inside. He couldn't hurt the one he grew to love so dearly.

So when the tears filled your lash line, Eren felt his whole crashing down around him, he never wanted to cause you pain. He was just scared and felt alone before, you were this breath of fresh air for him letting him see above the high walls he surrounded himself with.

"I don't hate you." There is no need to hold his words back, but a part of him hesitated not because he was denying his hate for you but it was the complete opposite of that.  There was a part of him that was scared of what you did to him, he wanted to protect and the only way he knew how was by blocking you out of his life.

He catches the flicker of sparks behind you eyes, he tries to figure out exactly what they were trying to say. Did you believe him? Do you hate him? He pleaded with you in his head to forgive him, forgive him for causing you pain and ignoring you for so so so long.

"Then why are you acting like it?" You sneer, trying to get some sort of reaction out of him, you used to be able to so easily read his face and emotions but right now all his eyes seemed tried and dull. You were so confused, why had he been acting like he hated your very presence but now refused to now tell you the real truth. You were angry, and just wanted to break down right then the tears already threating to spill. Pleading inside your head for him to truly not hate you, but how could he not?

"I'm sorry." His voice was nothing lower than a whisper, barely falling faint to your ears but it still sent aches to your heart. For the first time in months you saw a shimmer behind his beautiful green eyes, the same look he would get when he felt extremely guilty and would continuously apologize to you. The small flicker of emotion was what sent you finally over the edge.

Salty warm tears fell down your face, you tried to stop them embarrassed that you were this emotional, but a single gentle thumb came to brush them off your cheek. His warm fingers caressing your face gracefully as he stared down at you, his warm touch leaving goosebumps to spread across your body. His eyes laced with concern but most importantly a lingering fear, a fear that he hurt you but an even greater fear you hated him.

"I'm sorry.....m'sorry..... m'sorry.... I'm-", his tall figure slumped forward forehead crashing against your shoulder as he rambled out a repeated apology. You stood there, arms slumped to your side as your brain raked around trying to understand the situation.

But, when Eren's hands leave your face and carefully made there way down wrapping themselves around your waist pulling you in, you suddenly feel the wet patch growing on the shoulder Eren's face was nuzzled into.

He felt your gentle fingers cautiously wrap around his neck, pulling him closer into you, the both of you realizing how much you missed each other's touch. You wanted to comfort Eren, but with your own tears continuing to swell up, words wouldn't dare to come out of your throat.

Now that Eren had you in his arms again, he felt foolish and so embarrassed with how he acted the past six months, more tears falling out of his eyes while he desperately tried to keep you close to him like you might run off. You had broken through the barriers he set up thinking it was for his own protection, it scared him that you would see his true self, the true self that he hated and was afraid you might hate. You were just happy to finally have Eren back into your arms, the love you felt for him never fading only building as you two sobbed into each others arms.

So, standing in the dimly lit kitchen with arms wrapped around each other, both desperate to feel the other skin again, it seemed that Eren could finally stop pushing you away and let you in. It would take a long time. It would take a lot of work and tears, but the payoff would be so worth seeing the genuine happy smile you'd seen so few times on him before.

A long hard conversation awaited the two of you, but for right then all that mattered was that both of your silly fears were crushed, the hate you two thought the other felt was gone and replaced with the warm flow of physical touch. Even if it was never spoken, you both knew that you loved each other and that's all that mattered.

[cerf-et-loutre]

Young entrepreneur needs help to be able to freelance

(This is a copy of my fundraising stament)

In 2018, I suffered a car crash that left me with a broken knee and shoulder. Health insurance only covered one month of medications and no therapy. I had to spend the money I had saved during many years working as a licensed nurse. Due to my new condition, my contract was allowed to expire. I was also studying to realize my life long dream of becoming a filmmaker, which had to also stop. In my effort to get my insurance back, I hired a lawyer that only took the little money I had left (about $1500) but never heard from him again.

I was struggling to eat and to pay rent as, at the time and since 2012, I was living alone. All of that led me to a mental breakdown that almost took my life. It took until February 2020 for me to finally be able to walk properly again and to overcome part of my deep depression and forget most of the extreme thoughts I had in my head, especially since I felt so alone since my brother died in an accident. Needless to say, it has been a couple very difficult years for me but I have high hopes for a much better future.

The situation with COVID-19 didn't help in terms of employment. A nurse with trouble walking is of no use, and still recovering for my depression but currently in good spirits. I'm getting better and I want to work. Sadly, I had to sell most of my video equipment: camera, tripodes, lenses, etc., in order to afford my therapy and costly medicine. Just living out of occasional freelance work and with the help from my parents as food and roof over my head goes.

The recovery process from this difficult time in my life was long and painful, not just in terms of physical pain due to my injuries, but also regarding my mental health, a state of despair that left me questioning why did I spend so much time, youth and money on education for the system to discard me so easily. It makes you re-evaluate life and if it's even worth living it. I won't deny it took me months to regain hope in this world and in myself, that I was able to do so much and if the healthcare system didn't want me because of an accident, I should pursue my vocation with much force, an area where I could be appreciated for my talent: both mental and physical abilities that have so much to give, especially since I'm still so young. So, I slowly began taking on small freelance work: a photo session for a baptism, a wedding coverage, restauring old pictures, edit short ad videos for social media pages; things that I could do without being moving too much, as I was still unable to walk properly.To be able to take pictures or videos I rented them, which lower the profits quite significantly but I also took it as a means to distract myself with activities I truly enjoyed. For editing, my trusty laptop was a true warrior for many years and helped me a lot. This way I was able to occupy my mind and lift my spirit that, along with constant therapy, worked wonders for my health. You can also watch some of my work here https://vimeo.com/465557068, on my twitter account mageonfire1 and on IG merlant_academy.

However, since late last year, the state of my laptop has been steadily degrading, and it will stop working soon. The freelance work I am successfully doing now is community management, copywriting, screenplay supervising, photography and video editing for small businesses in my area. But I won’t be able to do this, let alone aspire to better things: better quality media content, ad video recording, gigs at weddings or birthdays and other gatherings, once the COVID situation allows it; if I don’t have the necessary tools.

The goal of my funding campaign is to be able to get the basic equipment I need to continue the business I have and to expand into the growing online media world market, not just locally, as I manage English pretty well and to be competitive in a market severely hit due to the world economic and health situation and the huge unemployment rates around the world, including my country.

I hope you found my story worthy of a donation. I will be forever grateful. Additionally, this campaign will have tier rewards as a thank you for your donation. I’ll handle requests for videos of any type (with pre-recorded video). I am also very excited to announce that the well known artist Rose De la Cruz @rosedelosvientos has been kind enough to offer commissioned aquarela paintings as rewards for a certain tier. You can see more of her work on her Instagrams page: https://instagram.com/rosedelacruzart?igshid=q9y707sn38kb

I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to read this and consider supporting me. If you personally can't donate, please spread this crowdfunding among your friends and family.

My sincere greetings and hope that you and your loved ones stay safe and secure.

Sincerely,

MageMDL.

A dreamer, a writer, a creator and a human being.

(I’ll leave some pictures that are relevant to my current situation)

Thanks, @ladyonfire28 for the suggestion of making this post. Much appreciated 🙏🏼 ❤️

https://gogetfunding.com/magemdl/ @gogetfunding-blog