#kurtcobaine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pleasantglitterflower · 5 months ago

Text

Legends will never die (JOE BURROW x COBAIN! READER)

TW: mentions of death, suicide, drugs

I was at Joe's parents' house for lunch to celebrate the birthday of Dan, one of my boyfriend's older brothers. It's been great to be here, I love his family, they've always welcomed me very well, but this happy family moment awakens strong triggers in me and a desire to experience something I didn't have. Seeing Joe talking so animatedly with his father, his brothers and his grandfather, at a certain point my father-in-law hugs him from the side, my eyes instantly water.

I quickly excuse myself from the environment I was in, talking to my mother-in-law and my sisters-in-law, and go to the bathroom, where I quickly start crying. Why didn't I have a structured family? Why isn't my father here with me? Why do these shitty drugs and depression exist in this shitty world and affect good people?

I didn't even see time pass when I heard loud knocks on the door.

- Baby, open the door - Joe shouts from the other side

I come back to reality and open the door. As soon as Joe sees my swollen eyes, he runs over and hugs me.

- What happened my love? Since the journey you've been quieter and more thoughtful, I didn't say anything before because I knew you'd make up some excuse, but I know you're not well

- Joe, it's not for nothing, you know that I love your family and how you have a great connection, especially with your father, and when I saw you two hugging in the backyard, it was inevitable not to think about my father - I look down embarrassed

- Hey, look at me - he lifts my chin - You don't need to fake your feelings my dear, I know how difficult it is for you to talk about him, especially since this year it will be 30 years since he died, but know that he is very proud of you wherever he is and that, although his life here on Earth was short, his legacy is eternal.

- It's been very difficult Joe, very difficult indeed. People are putting a lot of expectations on my performance at the tribute, I don't know if I'll want to participate.

- Baby, everything will be fine, you'll do well, I see how much you've dedicated yourself to making a perfect presentation, don't worry - Joe kisses me on the forehead and hugs me tightly

- Joe, I don't know what I would do without you, I love you so much

- I love you the most Janis - then we kissed.

In a week's time, the tribute show to my father will take place, in celebration of his 30 years of legacy in music. 30 years ago, Kurt Donald Cobain, my father, left this world grayer, with a legion of fans all over the world in mourning and despair, and an entire family torn apart. I was born on October 27, 1993, six months before his death, and the height of his period of self-destruction due to drugs and depression. Dad fought his demons for years, it wasn't just during that period, and the sudden fame only made these inner demons increasingly present in his life.

Me and Frances, my older sister, were very exposed to all the scandals caused by our parents, even at our young age, when mom said in an interview that she used heroin when she was pregnant with Frances, she and dad ended up losing custody. However, they managed to recover after promising to undergo rehabilitation. Mom managed to kick her heroin addiction, but unfortunately dad couldn't. When Mom found out she was pregnant with me, Dad was apparently determined to change and be a responsible father to Frances and me, but inside, his demons were screaming more and more, and throughout 1993, Dad tried to commit suicide several times, in addition to intense heroin abuse, until on April 5, 1994, he reached his limit, he could no longer bear to live with that internal anguish that had affected him since he was a teenager.

Even with all the fame, recognition, money and the millions of fans he gained all over the world, Dad couldn't be happy, even though he married the woman he loved and became the father of two daughters that he loved so much, Dad couldn't. he could exorcise his pain within himself, he could no longer stand living in a world in which he could not fit in, a selfish world, full of falsehoods is very cruel. Every year that passes, when I always pick up the farewell letter he wrote, it chills my soul, his anguish was visible in his writing.

“I had a lot, a lot, and I'm grateful for that, but since I was seven years old I started to hate all humans in general. Just because it seems so easy to relate and empathize. Just because I love and feel for everyone so much, I guess. Thank you from the bottom of my sick, burning stomach for your letters and your concern over the years. I really am an erratic and sad baby! I no longer have passion, so remember, it's better to burn out than to slowly fade away¹. Peace, Love, Empathy.

Kurt Cobain

Frances, Janis and Courtney, I will be at your altar. Please go ahead, Courtney, for Frances and Janis. For their lives, they will be much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU”

It was very difficult for me to accept that my father took his life on his own and that he preferred not to live any longer to be present for me and Frances, but as the years went by and listening to the stories from my mother, Dave, my godfather, , and other people who lived with Dad, I came to the conclusion that he had already given up on life a long time ago and tried to cut it short several times, but it was on that April 5, 1994 that his limit ended, and then he gave a shoots himself with a shotgun. If it hadn't been on that date, it would have been the next day, the following week, my father couldn't bear to live any longer.

Dave has always been like a father figure to me, he was always by my side for everything I needed and was one of my main encouragers to pursue a career in music, because according to him, I had the same genius to express as my father. feelings in the form of songs. During my adolescence I composed several songs and recorded some demos, but only my family knew about it. I never thought about pursuing a singing career, I wrote according to my imagination and as a hobby, I always wanted to pass on my knowledge to other people, so I studied music in New York, and started teaching music to children in public schools, until I was transferred to a school in Cincinnatti, which is where I met Joe. My class went to do a musical performance at an event for his foundation, and he came to congratulate me on my work, I was super flattered and we became friends, and it didn't take long for us to admit our feelings and he asked me to be his girlfriend in a beautiful sunset in California.

Joe was always very loving and affectionate with me, and always helped me in moments of vulnerability when I cried in his lap when talking about my father. I've always admired his relationship with his father, how football is a factor that keeps their connection very strong, and I wondered what it would be like for my dad and me talking about music, what he would think of today's music scene, if he Would you be proud of me?

When Dave said that my participation would be very important in the tribute to my father, Joe was also one of my main supporters, for him I needed to face my negative feelings and show the world my musical talent, which according to Joe is undeniable that my talent It's genetic. After thinking very calmly, I decided to accept the idea and began to rehearse exhaustively, as Dad deserved perfection.

April 5, 2024- Kurt Cobain Tribute, Seattle

The big day arrived, if I said I slept calmly I'd be lying, I couldn't stop being nervous for a minute. As the stadium got closer, I felt my stomach drop, while Joe was next to me holding my hand. When we saw it, there were millions and millions of people with Nirvana shirts, with shirts with my father's face, with posters with loving words for him, there were children, teenagers, adults, elderly people, Seattle became small. It's incredible how even 30 years after his death, Kurt Cobain still had a loyal legion of fans, and over the years he gained new fans, many who weren't born at the time of Nirvana's heyday and who had Kurt as an inspiration.

The tribute line-up was the envy of any other festival, as it had Pearl Jam, Metallica, Guns n Roses, Iron Maiden, Green Day, and the main attraction, Nirvana himself, but this time it would be Janis who would represent Kurt in the vocals. Janis rehearsed nonstop with Dave and Krist, it would be the first time at a festival that Nirvana would make an official performance again since Kurt's death, but this time with Janis paying tribute to her father. Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic always play the songs of the band that made them famous when they get together, but only at intimate shows, so the performance at the tribute would be the band's official return.

Nirvana would headline the event, and it was the most anticipated performance, as Kurt Cobain's daughter would be singing with the remaining members of the band and paying tribute to Kurt.

The performance was about to start, and Janis was breathing very deeply in her dressing room, until she heard a knock on the door.

-Come on

The door opens, revealing the figures of Joe, Courtney and Frances.

- My love how are you? - Joe questions

- Too nervous, what if I get out of tune? What if I lose my voice? I don't want to disappoint the fans, but especially I don't want to disappoint Dad, no- Courtney interrupts her youngest daughter

- Janis, you will be perfect my daughter, your father is already very proud of you, wherever he is, at this moment he is very happy with the woman you have become - the eldest speaks with her voice choked with emotion

- That's right sister, everyone knows your potential and how hard you work to keep our father's legacy alive to this day, you're going to get on that stage and show those bastards who's boss - Frances shouts excitedly, making the presents laugh

- My mother-in-law and sister-in-law are absolutely right, you're going to rock my dear - Joe gives me a quick peck

One of the producers enters the dressing room and announces that it is time to go on stage. The tribute to Kurt Cobain is being broadcast online, YouTube went down at certain times due to the large number of hits, and at the time of Janis' performance with Nirvana, 1.5 billion and a half people were online and waiting of the show.

The band was announced and first came Krist, Dave, and then Janis Cobain, sending the audience into a frenzy. She looked at all the people present in that stadium, quickly looked at the VIP box that had Joe, Courtney, Frances, her in-laws and her brothers-in-law with their wives. Joe was smiling brightly at her full of pride.

- Good evening - the audience shouts - We are here to celebrate the 30 years of legacy of our dear Kurt Cobain, known as my dear father. Daddy, wherever you are, know that you continue to be very loved and that I'm very proud to be your daughter- I say looking at the sky excitedly- and today I'm going to do my best to give you a great show, LET'S GO MOTHERFUCKERS- I yelled

The show was perfect, Dave and Krist gave me a lot of support and security, and I felt more and more free. I didn't stop feeling emotional during the most emotional songs, but the important thing is that I had managed to honor my father in the way he deserves. After the show, Joe came running over to hug me.

- I knew you would put on an amazing show love, I'm so happy for you

- Joe, if it weren't for you, maybe I wouldn't be here now, thank you so much for always being with me my love, I love you - I kiss him

And in the depths of the sky, Kurt Donald Cobain smiles, very happy for the happiness of his beloved daughter and very satisfied with the honor, he knew that his daughter was very talented, it was no wonder that she is a Cobain.

46 notes · View notes

rocknrolldisaster · 2 months ago

Note

kurty Cobain with a best friend reader who's helping him deal with his depression?

sure here’s my best try to not sound cringe lmao

~~~~~~~~~~

Post-Gig Blues

trigger warnings: mention of drugs,angst, fluff, that’s about it really lol

September 1989

You worked a 11-6 shift at a record store in the center of Seattle every Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. It was boring. The only things happening in that shop were teenagers stealing items, being loud, trying to flirt with you or couples making out in the corner, where the posters were. Your roommate, Kurt was in a hardcore punk rock band called Nirvana. And they just released their first record three months ago, and at the moment, they’re the “Most popular rising band in Seattle”

Hell, even the store’s tapes, CDs and vinyls of Bleach are on a low stock.

You’ve supported Kurt with his band ever since you moved in, five months ago. You’re best buddies, and you always feel safe when he walks with you in the dark.

23:16pm. Friday.

You sit at your desk, drawing a flower pot which stands at your desk while watching television. You’re the only one home, since Nirvana are playing a gig late tonight.

*knock knock* *sigh* “it’s me..” -you hear his tired and groggy voice outside the front door. He sounds fed up.

Your head snaps to the door, before you get up and approach the door, unlocking it and opening it.

“Hey Kurt, how was the show?” - you ask, with a polite smile, standing aside so he can walk in. His long, greasy blonde hair is drenched by the rain.

“oh- yeah, yeah we killed it.” - he says, his voice slurred, not sounding like it. He closes the door and locks it, shoving his hands into his coat pockets to hide how shaky and pale they are.

“doesn’t sound like it..” - you respond, looking at him with a raised eyebrow before you walk back to your desk.

“yeah, yeah I’m just tired.” - he grumbles, his hand reaching out to gently scratch the bridge of his nose then going back in his pocket.

“huh, me too dude.” - you say with a small chuckle, attempting to light up the conversation.

“…yeah.” - he murmurs. just staring at the floor for a moment. eventually he sighs and takes his shoes off, setting them aside, then coat off, hanging it up.

You continue drawing, but often glancing at him at the corner of your eye. He’s like this a lot. friendly, bubbly, creative and energetic for a few days, then some days it just crashes in when he’s lazy, stubborn, exhausted and fed up. And you know he shoots up on heroin every few weeks, thinking it’ll help with his intense stomach pains, and his moodiness.

He rubs his temples with a deep sigh, then swings his guitar case in the corner with no cares, and plopping onto the bed.

“god.” - he grumbles.

“What?” - you turn your head to him

“I don’t know.” - he rubs his eyes.

Your expression softens, you hum softly.

“Something happened at the show?”

“no it was great, genuinely.” -he replies.

“crowd loved it.” - he adds after a moment, looking over at you, his expression blank.

“then what?”

he rolls his eyes.

you tilt your head.

“tell me? you can always talk to me, kurt. I won’t judge.” -you softly tell him.

he scoffs.

“yeah right.” - he replies sarcastically, resting his chin on his hand and looking at the wall in front of his bed.

“i mean it, kurt. i never judged, never will.”

he stays unresponsive for a moment or two, before turning to look at you. You look at him back.

“you ever just…go out, and have the time of your life, but after…” -he starts, but his voice trails off. He looks back at the wall.

“Mhm?” - you wait for him to continue.

“you just hate the party life…it’s not for you..?” - he looks back at you.

“yeah, sometimes..” - you nod, looking back at the television then looking back at him.

“huh, thank god I don’t live in L.A.” - he chuckles bitterly, before sighing again.

“so what’s the main problem?” -you tilt your head.

his expression falters.

“it feels weird..im not the biggest fan of being famous ‘round here.”

“i get that.” -you nod.

“…im getting approached on the streets cause everyone knows me..I d…don’t like i…it..” -he stutters on his last words, his voice starting to sound more shaky.

You immediately pay close attention to his face, noticing his eyes are watery, you quickly get up and walk to him, sitting next to him on the edge of his bed.

“fuck, I’m sorry for this.” - he grumbles, his palm on his head.

“No it’s okay..you can cry..” - you reassure him.

“if it’s a good thing then your record is selling out at work..” - you raise your eyebrows, but he doesn’t answer.

You take his hands off his head and gently take them in yours, warming them up. He’s not fine, and he doesn’t want to admit it to you, since you’re the friend who he prefers emotionally supporting.

“you’re drenched.” - you softly say, looking at his wet hair and his clothes covered in raindrops.

“yeah, i knoww.”

You look into his eyes.

“You should take care of yourself.”

He looks back into yours.

“Don’t have the time to anymore.”

You roll your eyes at his response.

“Kurt, you need a break, you deserve it.”

“how..? i can’t, I got all this band shit. how could i take a break with everyone eagerly wanting to see me everyday?” - he gets more worked up, a tear rolling down his face.

“don’t listen to the people, just do whatever you want. i get paid on sunday, so I’ll take you to a spa on monday, maybe also have some lunch out” - you gently wipe his tears.

“pff, guess so.” - he rolls his eyes and sniffles, starting to quietly cry.

“shit, no it’s okay..” - you frown and pull him into a gentle hug.

“shut up.” - he grumbles.

“no let it all out..”

he eventually feels comfortable enough to let it out in front of you, he sighs and slowly rests his head on your shoulder, quietly crying into it.

“i’m here..it’s gonna get better.”

~~~~~~~~