#knowing the chance is small doesn't make it better
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yan-randomfandom · 1 day ago
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Hii! Could I request a yan! Jinx with a darling who is on hunger strike? (Bacically, darling got kidnapped and so she decided to stop eating till she gets freed...is that even a word?)
Anyways, ty 4 reading my request and I would be really happy if you were to fuffil it <3
Make sure u drink enough water!
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Yandere!Jinx x GN!Starving!Reader
a/n: thank you for your kind words anon! 😺 i just realized how much energy i gave mc here omg 😭🙏
tw; starvation, kidnapped MC ermm
💧 ;
Stubbornness is something both you and Jinx share. It's built into your very core. She knows this, and yet, here we are.
You're tied to a chair, looking away from her with a deep frown on your face—unwilling to eat.
"My sweetest," Jinx groans, dragging out her words. "Darling, baby, angel..." She places her hands on the back of your chair, her breath brushing the tip of your nose—"beloved."
...
You roll your eyes. "It stinks."
With an offended gasp, she recoils from you, her eye twitching. "I— You— Come on! At least I had dinner, but you? You haven't eaten anything for days!"
As if the Gods have a sense of humor, your stomach lets out a loud, drawn-out rumble. It goes on for a few moments... like her hideout wasn't quiet enough already. You have half the heart to glance at Jinx, who's watching you with an unimpressed expression.
Against your better judgment, and despite the deadly stomachache, you don't say anything.
Jinx pushes the bowl of food in front of you. "...Your, uh, stomach's hungry. Please. I just want you to eat—"
"I want you to let me go," you snap, glaring at her. You emphasize your point by rattling the chair with your frail limbs in frustration. "It doesn't help that you tied my arms and legs up. Honestly."
She returns your look, almost clueless. "It didn't have to be that way! You kept trying to escape!"
"I wonder why!!"
An annoyed groan. You can't even tell if it was from you, or her. Maybe both.
...
...
"...I told you I can't," she mutters softly. Not when she started a war.
You scoff and turn away. "Not that you can't. You won't."
Jinx does not reply.
Then, she chuckles. "Still amazin'. All this energy, even in starvation."
...
You press your lips together. Truth be told, you're barely holding it together. You're simply not giving up. Even if it's out of spite. Especially.
She starts walking. The sound of her booted footsteps grows fainter and fainter until, finally—the exit closes.
Jinx left you.
Nothing else accompanies you but the quiet humming and faint lights in her hideout.
Your body seizes the chance to collapse, eyes closing in one blink.
...
The next time you wake up, you grudgingly rub your eyes. A yawn escapes you.
You stretch your body. Your joints pop, relief spreading all across—
Wait.
You sit up from the softest surface you've ever been on in a while. It takes a moment to clear your vision, but once it does, you fall in disbelief.
Lifting your hand, you eye your wrists suspiciously. The patterns of the rope is still visible. But faint. It must have been a while since they were removed.
The chair you've been stuck in for days is gone. Your limbs are untied, finally fucking free from the numbness. A small fan offers a refreshing breeze next to you.
Your heart starts racing.
A whiff of your favorite scent. You perk up.
There's a glass of water filled with ice on the table. Beside it, an irresistible array of food. All your favorite types.
You don't even think twice.
either u try to escape or eat the food—your choice. do both tho cuz u might idk die
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mikichko · 3 days ago
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combustible - highly flammable, easy to burn cw: gn!reader, avoidant reader, angst (?), somewhat comfort (its comfort to ME), all lower case a/n: a self-analysis. but if y'all catch strays that's not on me... also been a while since I've written so be gentle with me please
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he's sixteen when the cat skitters from him the first time.
he's familiar with the pattern of an animal seeking shelter, some refuge from the cruel hands of the world. he's seen her test the limits and bounds of their steps, slinking around the garden as she tries to find safety.
he also knows she skitters the fastest and furthest away the second something unfamiliar breaches her space. first sign of discomfort and she's gone. it takes her days to return.
he wonders if she knows of the cruelty within the house. she must. ears as keen as hers have heard tommy's shuddering breath, he's sure of it.
and yet, the crashing inside never spooks her.
but somehow, his initial steps towards her always did.
simon still remembers the drop in his stomach, guilt cooling the pit of it, as he saw her galloping away. her hind legs coming between her front paws, moving so fast her front paws didnt even have a chance to come off the ground. he'd felt sick watching her scramble away from him. the nausea at her departing figure felt worse than the dread of returning inside.
so he'd sucked in a breath and stepped back behind the sliding door. whatever was waiting for him was better than disturbing her peace.
who was he to disturb the semblance of safety she'd worked so hard to find. slinking from alley to alley until she ended here. he at least had his own hands to ward off blows with. she didn't even have the dignity of that.
it took her days to come back. every day she was absent turned his stomach. shame weighed down his steps until he took the time to set up hidden food and water bowls to greet her. it was the least he could do for her. food and fresh water to greet her when she deemed it safe to return. a small token to let her know the space is hers, safely provided to her no matter what.
she'd still back away when she saw him at the door. half a bite of food falling from her mouth as she spotted him, slinking back instinctively.
but simon makes no move to open the door. he just watches her behind the safety of the glass.
they're locked together before she blinks quickly, assuring he's still standing behind the glass before returning to her food bowl.
it's a few more days of this before she turns to him, closing her eyes ever so slowly and then, turning her back to him.
simon can't help the smile that spreads across his face, warmth blooming in his chest as he feels genuine joy for the first time in a while.
gradually, she eases up. she even allows him to stand outside with her, at a distance. a few more weeks of this and she tentatively slinks between his legs as he freezes. doesn't even breathe to spook her away as she scents him, marking him as hers.
patience yields results and on sunny days she's curled up on his lap while he enjoys a hot cuppa.
this is why he blames himself when you run.
he'd breached the boundary too quickly, pushed too hard against the ease of the relationship you'd built. he hadn't meant to, but he'd seen he change in your gait. had noticed how you'd started to hide parts of yourself that he'd been privy to. the clothes didn't change, but your laughter did. dimmed down, clipped and short, just long enough to fool others but simon knew you better.
he sees you transform before his eyes, a version that had existed only before he knew you. hardened by the winds that had eroded your softness.
you'd erected walls for refuge. necessary to ward the winds intent on toppling you, though it had the unintended consequence of keeping kindness at bay. unable to feel it through the stone.
yet, simon had been granted access within the concrete barriers. privy to what was withheld from others.
and he'd pushed his luck.
he'd known some conversation were likely to push at you, irritate the way skin does when it rubs against itself, but you'd held strongly through it all. in the end, it wasn't a specific conversation that triggered your retreat, but the culmination of it all.
he'd watched how you'd clammed up. laughter dying on your lips as the realization dawned on you.
you were overexposed, overly comfortable, and unprotected.
your things were gone the next day.
his side table clear of anything of importance to you. small traces of of you through out his apartment, in the crevices, just enough to keep him off your scent. to prevent him from becoming alarmed.
he's a damn good soldier though. better at understanding when someone's got the urge to run with no intention of coming back. exceptional at finding people.
he gives you two days.
no messages or calls, all so you can breathe a little easier. work yourself out of state of mind you'd found yourself in. to no longer feel bare and exposed.
then, he shows up at your coffee shop. orders your drink, his drink, and waits.
the baristas know him by now, and they know you're his keeper. at least, that's what's been floating around amongst the regulars. so when you approach the counter seeking some liquid energy they simply gesture towards simon.
you're an expert at hiding yourself from others, so your face of neutrality never wavers. but simon isn't any other person, he knows better.
he sees the small, sharp inhale through your nose, the tightening grip around your phone, your other hand twitching against your leg. you're unhappy, but not angry.
he'll give you your space, he'll never deny you that, but he'll always be near. watching you from behind the glass while you get comfortable again. until you're able to have your back to him, to let your fingers graze the back of his.
until you find yourself curled into his side again.
he's willing to wait.
you eye him as you take a seat across from him, body uncharacteristically rigid.
"just a cup of coffee. take your time with it, i'm not in a rush love. i'll be here"
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@wraithdance pspspspsps
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razzellyn · 2 days ago
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Cuddles!!
No tricks this time!! Just fluffy cuddle session!!!
Part 2!!!!
MCB
Part 1 here!!!
Notes in the end!!!
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
Dexter
• Oh he's a cuddle bug. He doesn't act like it, but he's very cuddly at times. He also doesn't really mind when someone sees you two, still would prefer to be in private though.
• Sometimes the two of you cuddle while nature/bird watching. He often points out the little creatures that the two of you could find and then share fun facts about them. He yaps like that only to the people he trusts.
• More often than not he bombards you with kisses all over your face. How? By pressing his face against yours of course!
Fleta Z
• He's a bit hesitant for some reason, but once you've convinced him he's actually very into it. He also takes this time to learn more about you! Maybe even sway your heart with a compliment or two.
• Not overly cuddly, but he will smother you in affection. In fact, he's not leaving you alone until you give him his daily hugs.
• Soft kith after every cuddle/hugs. No backing out from him! He will hunt you down (not literally). Quite the gentleman while he kissed you. Very gentle indeed.
Wild Guardy
• What's a cuddle?
• Jk, he knows what cuddle is. He just doesn't know what to think of it. You'll have to slowly introduce him to the concept too, start by holding his hands and then side-hug him, etc.
• Overtime he does gets comfortable and decided to cuddle. He's awkward and terribly nervous about it, but he's doing great. Be patient with him okay?
• He usually asks for cuddles when either of you are stressed out about something or just having a terrible day in general. Surprise him with a peck on his cheek too, that helps him greatly.
Buffalo Crush
• Absolute cuddle bug. You might be crushed under his strength, but don't worry, he always apologizes after. Oh and please hug him daily, he loves it.
• He is also the one to DRAG you to a cuddle if he thinks you haven't spend much time with him yet. Though he will be a bit shy about it at first. He just loves being close to you okay!!!
• Unfortunately he's hard to be pushed away once you do cuddle. It was either him or the world. The world, which means letting him hug you to death. Him, which means leaving him to sulk in the corner.
Buster Gallon
• He'll make a comment about how it's a waste of time and is a useless thing to do, but then when you pull him into a hug he puts his entire weight on you and cuddles you like crazy.
• The cuddle doesn't end until he says so. Well you could just bribe him with a kiss or two if you want to be freed, but that's a 50/50 chance. He's tired of Black Dan's bullsh t man let him be.
• He also lets go when someone randomly comes in on you two cuddling. If they make fun of you two, he's hunting them down. If they don't make a single comment, he just lets them be. He's got a red face though so that's something.
Black Hook
• It's also a 50/50 situation with him. He'd either be immediately into it or he thinks it's stupid and leaves. Let's be real, his actions depends on his mood.
• That being said, despite being the leader of his team, he's quite gentle with holding you. Unless he's been feeling a bit down, he's going to cuddle you until death.
• Don't expect to be treated like a royalty though, he's a pirate not a servant. He's going to cuddle you whenever and wherever he wants to. Yes, even in mid air, however that works.
Heavy Iron
• Definitely thinks he's better as a big spoon than a small spoon. Well he's true, but he's definitely more 'cuter' as a small spoon. He won't admit it but you will.
• He'll hug you when he feels like it, or you're genuinely in one of your less preferred moods. That being said, if he was also in one of his preferred moods, a quick cuddle does well in calming him down.
• The same as the two above, it's a 50/50 situation with him unfortunately. He's not exactly a lovey dovey type so... don't expect much out of him.
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
First of all, i would just like to say
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Secon of all, i am SO SOSOSOSOSOS SORRY for being gone for MONTHS
eugh I'm so lazy at times and so busy at the same time it's FKALRBSOCNW
No srsly I'm so sorry
I'M SORRY
I'm sorrryysyaurhisyroah 😭😭😭
Anyways hope y'all like this part 😋
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worldisahouseonfire · 1 day ago
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This really helps to read. There's a lot of pressure in institutions and congregate living situations to make friends with the other people there. But I don't do well with this sort of nonconsensual setup, where I can't actually get away from the would-be friends if I need a break from them to evaluate how I'm feeling about an interaction or connection.
Reminds me of something from a RealSocialSkills post called 'Autism awareness for aides,' something like "honest loneliness is better than being surrounded by people who everyone says are nice but don't treat you well or think you are real."
And something Terry Pratchett wrote in 'I Shall Wear Midnight,' about how sometimes two people are both outcasts but come to find out, painfully, that they're not outcasts in the same/compatible ways.
In my experience Autistics can be way more different to each other than non-Autistics are to each other. All of us being outcasts, or treated as 'weird' by normative society, does not necessarily mean that we have anything in common other than our exclusion. And that by itself can be a very painful thing to bond over. Especially in the absence of any independent enjoyment of spending time with one another.
But it still hurts and feels extra-isolating to be in congregate settings with other socially rejected people, and see that they are able to make friends and connections with one another. Especially with the overwhelming (sometimes unspoken) narrative that the whole reason we're isolated and stuck in these places is some lack of arbitrary and universal 'social skills,' so failure to get along with people who have been arbitrarily thrown together with me feels like a sort of universal social death sentence. Like I will always be surrounded by people I don't want as friends, and this social failure will be All My Fault.
This is why, though, I am so glad that most of my life I have had a computer and reached out online for social connection. My closest friends are sometimes two or three timezones away, or even on the other side of the world, but they remind me that with the right people, I'm not a total social failure. And that spending time with other people doesn't have to feel like being in a car wreck -- uncertain what happened, afraid it was somehow my fault, wondering what lengthy consequences I might be facing, not even sure if I'm hurt or how badly.
My friends far away show me how it feels to be myself with people, to let the soft animal of my body rest in the (virtual) presence of others. And we do more for each other than anyone I know in meatspace, not because we feel obliged to, but because it makes sense.
Without my laptop, I would not survive congregate and institutional living situations. I would not keep fighting and striving to get out and stay out, and support my friends in all their efforts to break free and stay free from coercive shared living situations.
It makes sense to not always be able to make friends in settings and places not of our choosing. Where the only thing we may have in common with others there is our inability to leave, to make different choices who we spend our days with. In school, in employment, in families, in neighborhoods and sometimes housing, we often have limited pools of people with whom we interact. The chances of them being My/Your/Our People are ludicrously small.
I think it's okay for it to be harder to find friends. Especially as an adult, and especially when going through rough times. It's okay to not make friends with people you have to spend a lot of time around.
(I hope so, anyway. 'Cause where I'm living, and who I'm living with right now, is *not at all* where I want to be.)
“Because I could see that all these kids were weird and even they didn’t accept me, I knew I was the strangest one of all.”
Sean Barron, There’s A Boy In Here
Describing what happened to him in institutions.  I once attempted to describe this phenomenon in a book review of someone autistic who’d managed to make a lot of friends in institutions.  I was trying to just say our experiences had been different, but he somehow managed to take it as an insult, and to get his blog followers to write about how wonderful he was for being able to do something I hadn’t been able to do.  Which, of course, made me feel even worse: Other autistic people were able to make friends in institutions, so why were such experiences so few and far between for me? Was I defective somehow, even for an autistic person?  Was I showing how i wasn’t the right kind of autistic person, the kind who in their teens could somehow manage to make friends because they were so sweet and nice? 
I wasn’t sweet and nice, I was weird and strange and sticking out in all the wrong directions.  And many times, I would come to a mental institution and within seconds everyone would judge me to be the ward outcast.  I’ve talked to lots of autistic people who had this experience.  It turns out it’s not rare after all, and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us, it just means we’re not among the rare autistic people who do manage to make lots of friends in such places.  And they aren’t better than us, and we aren’t better than them, we’re just different.  But it took me a long time to be able to see this, especially with grown parents of autistic children, who should’ve known better, harping on a very young adult autistic person for saying hir experiences were different than someone else’s.
(via autiequotes)
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bacchanalianhamlet · 1 year ago
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2 months seizure free ✌🏻
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rebornofstars · 5 months ago
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hello!! just wondering whether anyone would be interested in a September-based art & writing event focussed on celebrating the female characters in the LU fandom?
i've been thinking about trying to organise something like this for a few months now, but i'm finally speaking up, because this morning i had an idea...
we could call it:
✨Sepfember✨
anyway, if you'd be interested in a september event, let me know!
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varjopeura · 5 months ago
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diomedrian · 2 years ago
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It's so WEIRD that during the day I am like. Dead and lazy and absolutely do NOT want to move. And the minute it's five and it's dark outside, hoo boy do I not only have a to do list BUT ALSO the motivation and the energy to do it all
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beeseverywhen · 1 year ago
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I mean like. Not to bring the mood down but... you guys know that's because American media is everywhere right? Like the world is unable to avoid some version of American accent on a regular basis. Of course ppl find it easy to mimic. This is absolutely not restricted to ppl in the UK, its really common for ppl who learn English as a foreign language to have perfect 'American actor' accents (cause the reason everyone's so good at the American accent that's expected of them as actors is cause at large there's little distinction between regions in the 'Hollywood accent' that ends up on TV and films and stuff. You guys have massive regional differences in pronounceation, but what makes it on to TV (in 9/10 cases) is a very standardised version of American English.)
But yeah. It's not just actors lol. Most British ppl can speak in a passable american accent, as can loads and loads of people worldwide. I'm not saying this to be like 'you should feel guilty! 😡' but it does always stun me when Americans are unaware of the impact their country has worldwide on all versions of English (and even on use of native languages. Many countries are using English more and more over their native languages and dialects , and yeah, historical colonialism has had an impact there.)
But in the last few decades things have progressed way way faster and that, is thanks to the impact of anglo/american/ect lead capitalism. I'm in no way dismissing the impact the UK has on this, but in recent years, its the US that is largely pushing that train .While the UK and several English speaking commonwealth countries are very involved in this kind of capitalist imperialism, there's a reason that more and more people are speaking American English. Not one of the many UK dialects, not Australian English, or NZ English. Across the world more and more people are increasingly speaking in the same standardised american dialect that's in so much of the media you export. Hollywood based media, with that standardised accent/ dialect and the standardised 'normal american life', has a stranglehold on the world and I just find it crazy that a lot of you guys don't even know.
It's stupid stuff like. So many countries are importing american cars and are widening their roads/ changing town planning to account for it (this is less of a thing in the UK but I see it more and more when I travel). Its the food becoming avaliable everywhere. Its the influence that for profit healthcare has even on countries with socialised health systems. Its houses being built to account for American style appliances. Fashion trends. Worldwide, everything is slowly evolving to be closer and closer to this 'American standard' which honestly? I really don't think actually represents the lives of real American people either. You've been turned in to products, the system has taken an unrealistic snapshot of 'American life' and it's being sold to you all day in day out, but it's also being sold to the rest of us. It's being pushed on us all.
Kids in the UK go through phases of talking only in American accents. Anyone born later than the 90s is carrying round 2 sets of spelling and vocab, cause we're all so used to the American way, that you barely know which one you're using half of the time. In the UK we have always had really strong regional accents yeah, and dialects differ between areas that seem tiny to you guys, I know. But like. Those dialects are being lost cause all UK accents are evolving to become closer to this standardised american and yeah not great, but at least we share a language! US American society is largely rooted in the same foundations as UK society, largely we have the same flaws! But oh my god. What about the rest of the world.
It's global. This impact continues to be seen, steamrollering ahead, in places that had completely different starting points. UK culture isn't that dissimilar to that of the US, so we aren't losing nearly as much as cultures that had something completely different. So much is being lost.
Languages and dialects and everything else is just being wallpapered over so we all meet the same ideal of the 'American life' and it's not even real! It's just a product based on how ppl were actually living in the US, manipulated until it's the most marketable mould. You guys are victims of it as well but like. It's based on your culture so you don't lose as much if you conform to it. Just like how in the UK, if we conform, we lose more than US, but nowhere near as much as countries that had languages, dialects and cultures that were so so different to UK/US culture. The less like the US, your starting point, the more there is to lose.
And look. I said it to start with. I'm not having a go. That's not what this is. But you guys really need to be aware, you need to make an effort to understand the impact that this plastic Hollywood american culture is having on the rest of the world. You need to actively look for it, and make an effort to not pay in to it. Because when Americans see other cultures represented in media and say its not relatable, when you guys go on holiday and make no effort to learn local customs, and try and pay in dollars and spend your time abroad like you're still in America, when you see cultural differences and immediately argue that the American way is better and of course everyone should have giant cars and never dry laundry outdoors and live in American style homes, without any kind of critical thought. Just 'this is how we do it so why wouldn't everyone else do it this way. This is the only way. The American way is obviously best.' When you guys do that you are individually feeding in to this absolute bulldozing of cultures (including American ones!) to allow for better marketability.
It isn't any one individual American citizens fault that things are the way they are, and you guys are victims of the same system, but you need to have some self awareness when it comes to the fact that as individuals you are unknowingly, helping driving this forwards and as individuals, there are things you can do to limit your personal impact (and no arguing that you have no culture is not it!!! Being all self deprecating doesn't do shit. Take some responsibility and accept that individual Americans didn't create this system, but currently, individual Americans really are doing their bit to keep promoting it, to keep pushing it on the rest of the world.
And I've already rambled for an age so I'll stop here but I just want to make clear as an ending note here, that this really isn't about piling on Americans and being all 'boo it's all America's fault. They should apologise. Their culture isn't worth anything.' Not at all this is the opposite of that. The fact that millions of Americans have been convinced you have no culture, all while a mimicry of American culture is plastered on to the rest of the world, and while you as individuals are encouraged to help that happen, often without even realising what you're doing; is a crime. You've been wronged, as have we all.
And America is not the problem. The problem is imperialism and it didn't start with you guys. It started in Europe, and Europeans, particularly British ppl, have a responsibility to push back and be self aware, take some fucking responsibility and not inadvertently keep feeding in to that system, just as you guys do. The US didn't start the fire, imperialist capitalism is a fire that started burning long before the United States was even considered, but its on all of us, to do what we can to not feed that fire. And right now? You guys are the face of it.
This idea of what America is, is the face of imperialistic capitalism, and that means that even if you don't mean to, you guys are feeding that fire more so than the rest of us. You're responsible for spreading it, more so than the rest of us. And if you don't step up and take responsibility, accept that you're gonna get it wrong sometimes and you need to try to do better; if we don't all do that. There will be nothing left. They'll paper over it all, the lives of real Americans just as much as those in Scotland and India and the Netherlands, and 100 other cultures, that are at risk, thanks to this fire, that's currently, largely coming from America.
So yeah. It's absolutely not just on you guys and ppl who act like there's no racism or wealth divide in Europe or anywhere else for that matter are complete idiots, however, this Americanisation of the world (and I hesitate to call it that. Because its not a representation of real American lives. Its simply wearing an American face.) Its real. It's happening.
And we don't tell you about it to make you feel guilty (those of us who aren't dicks at least) ,we are telling you. We are kicking up a fuss. Because it isn't fair. It's not right and while individual Americans ignore that and refuse to take responsibility where they can (small apples. We aren't asking for you to call a violent revolution in our names. Just take some time to learn about the rest of the world. Stop assuming America is always right and examine your biases. When you find them. Stop personally pushing them.) , while that is happening, as individuals, you are contributing to this. It's not even altruism. This system is hurting Americans too. It's hurting us all. All we ask is that you do what you can to not personally contribute, and keep an open mind, be aware. That's all any of us can do.
when a british actor does an american accent everyone’s like “i didn’t even know they were british until they were on colbert.” but when americans do a british accent everyone’s like “they’re supposed to be from east cocksford but their glottal e’s are north dicksford. shameful.”
#so yeah sorry to rant but honestly#I'm so tired of ppl refusing to take responsibility on every side of this#imperalistic cruel capitalist regimes going 'well hey. at least we aren't America. this is their fault.'#meanwhile. Americans contribute to the bulldozing of their own cultures to make room for a capitalist monster wearing them as a mask#and if you call out any Americans or make them aware of something they are doing individually that isn't helping. it's either#refusing to see/ accept their own bias. or just as bad! yes! just as bad!!! america is beyond help. there's nothing worth saving#nothing we can do. that's bullshit and making stupid excuses like 'oh our schools don't teach us to respect other cultures'#'we don't know how.' fucking learn! try! that's all anyone asks of you. nobody cares about your schooling. school is shit for working class#ppl in most countries!#you think the english curriculum is any more balanced? we're subjects of a colonial empire. it's propaganda and its not even competent!#i don't think the average American understands how many more hours of schooling they get vs a lot of places. I'm not saying it's right#but teaching time? you guys have longer school days and you stay in school till youre older. our national curriculum ends the year we turn#16 in the UK. year 11 finishes in June. you can leave school 2 months shy of 16 to get a supermarket job. (and many working class ppl do)#and our government still pat themselves on the back and say its eqv. to high school finishing at 18 in other countries. like for context.#i haven't had a geography lesson since i was 13. my last english lesson? i was 15. that's completely normal here. so yeah. the#'our schooling was shit so we can't use Google to learn a bit of geography' falls pretty fucking flat. sorry.#they should have done better by you but they didn't. join the queue. do what you can and take some fucking responsibility now#the only way out of this is for us all. American and otherwise. to do what we can. be self aware. try to be better. keep learning#because if you fall to apathy? capitalism wins. if you believe the propaganda? capitalism wins. if capitalism wins we all lose#the system is designed to wear you down so you're too tired to remember that it doesn't have to be this way.#that's been happening for decades and it's why things are such a mess now. the only way out. is remember there is a way out#climb towards it. do what you can. it seems like low hanging fruit. it doesn't look like enough to change anything.#but there are more ppl being hurt by this system than those benefiting. 99% of us. if everyone picks an apple. that's a lot!#that's a fucking lot! keep going even when it seems like you aren't making progress. make your voice heard. vote. don't passively support a#system that's on its way to destroying you. destroying us all. do what you've got to do to live. but don't forget that all the things that#seem like they don't matter? really really do matter once you add up everyone's contributions. you can't control other ppls actions only#your own. but your contribution matters. your vote matters. your voice matters. join the union. educate yourself. stay curious. question.#the informations out there go online learning 1 thing. challenging 1 bias is better than all or nothing. i dont have time to learn anything#small apples. low hanging fruit. the oceans made up of billions of drops. the longer you don't try. the longer you've no chance of success#we can do better. we can absolutely all do better.
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ambrosiagourmet · 9 months ago
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Every time I revisit chapter 86 and the events right after the group talks Marcille down, I'm always struck by this bit here:
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In particular, how similar it is to this:
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The Winged Lion ate the same desire in both of them, more or less (I'm sure there are some nuances in both flavor and intent, but they are clearly similar things here). The Lion basically used this technique to kill Thistle, and for Marcille it was... not insignificant, but something she and her friends overcame without even fully realizing it was an obstacle.
I feel like this is another small piece of the story that shows how important support and love are - in navigating mental illness, in dealing with abuse or addiction, or in working through any other similar struggle that can be read into the Lion and his eating of desires.
It almost feels like Marcille was able to borrow the desires of her friends. She loves them and she trusts them, so even when she didn't have a desire to free herself from the Lion, the care they had for her well being still mattered to her.
It's the same thing later, with her hair.
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She isn't able to notice the way her messy hair is making things harder, let alone do anything about it. But when Chilchuck points it out and then braids it back for her...
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It's better. She likes it, things are easier now. Even though it isn't a desire she can feel for herself, it's not something that doesn't effect her. And because her friends care - because they know her well enough to notice the difference - she is given the chance to have a preference and to ask for their help.
We can obviously see some parallel ideas here with Mithrun and Kabru as well, but I'd also like to point out that Thistle gets this grace, too. Thistle, who had no one to help him up once he lost his will to resist, or to encourage him to find new desires once the Lion ate them all.
Thistle says he doesn't need anything, anymore...
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But he is given an apology anyways.
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It is not a kindness he desires. It is not a kindness he is able to ask for.
But it is a kindness that helps. It is a kindness that matters.
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monsterblogging · 9 months ago
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"I know JK Rowing is a terrible person but her books are so good-"
You sure about that?
I mean, just for a start, have you taken a good look at her fantasy creatures lately? A whole bunch of them are straight-up based on malicious and dehumanizing stereotypes about actual people.
Remember the werewolves? And being a werewolf was made into a kind of metaphor for having AIDS?
And you know how AIDS was first associated with gay men? And how conservatives back in the day were claiming gay men were preying on children in order to convert them to gayness?
Remember how Fenrir Greyback preyed on children in particular? Yeah, she put that subtext in there. She was an adult in the 90's. She knew damn well what she was doing.
Remember the house elves? Remember how most of them loved to serve and needed to have a home and a master or else they just wouldn't know what to do with themselves?
Did you know that's literally what slavers in the American South said about the Black people they kept enslaved? Go look up the happy slave myth.
Do I even need to get into the goblins and the antisemitic tropes they're based on? No, folkloric goblins were not gold-hoarding bankers waiting for their chance to stab humanity in the back.
"But the characters are so good!"
Are you kidding me?
Most of her characters are pretty one-dimensional, including Harry. Her idea of making a morally complicated character is giving a tragic past to a bully. Numerous characters are little more than stereotypes. (Looking at Fleur right now.) Literally anybody, including you, can easily make dozens of characters just as good, if not better. (It doesn't exactly take a lot of character designing skill to go, "hey, actually, having a sad backstory doesn't make it okay to bully children" or "hey, maybe I should not base a character on the first stereotype that pops into my head.")
"But the rest of the worldbuilding!"
Sorry, but her worldbuilding is just as basic as her characters. Magical castles and secret passages are stock tropes. Magical people who keep their true nature secret from humanity is the premise of pretty much every White Wolf TTRPG. Most of her fantasy creatures are just common European fairy tale and folklore creatures with shitty stereotypes projected onto them.
I'm not saying "basic worldbuilding bad." I'm saying, you could do just as good, if not better, with minimal effort.
Also there's her magical bioessentialism, where only Harry's abusive blood relatives could provide him with supernatural protection from Voldemort. Rowling thus effectively declared that non-biological family isn't quite real family, and that abusive biofamily can give you some essential thing that a loving, supportive family that isn't related to you just can't.
The Hogwarts houses are one of the most insidious elements of her worldbuilding. The idea of being sorted gives you a little dopamine hit because wow now you have a li'l niche where you belong!
But the actual function of the houses and sorting system and the House Cup is teaching children to see each other as rivals, and ensure that the most toxic views of the upper class get passed on to every new batch of kids sorted into Slytherin.
Hogwarts effectively prepares children for a dystopia where magic serves to distract its citizens from how nightmarishly awful it is. Economic inequality is so bad that people like Arthur and Molly Weasley can barely afford to put their kids through school, casual sadism is just an accepted norm in everyday society, and non-humans are second class citizens. Rowling sorta acts like she thinks this is a bad thing with certain lines she gave to Dumbledore, but in the end, her special boy protagonist becomes an auror; IE, a defender of the status quo. So.
If you've never seen it, Lily Simpson's video goes into even more detail on how the worldbuilding of Harry Potter is actually incredibly fucked up, and how it betrays small-minded attitudes on Rowling's part. There's no separating the art from this artist, because Rowling's rotten values pour out of nearly every page.
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Yes, there are many things in Harry Potter that evoke feelings and inspire people, but there's absolutely nothing in it that this series has a monopoly on. You can find those same experiences in much, much better media.
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cy-cyborg · 6 months ago
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Hey, able-bodied folks, if a disabled person is complaining about something being unfair/inaccessible because of our disabilities, you know you don't have to explain to us why that unfairness/inaccessibility a thing, right? Chances are we know it is the way it is. It's still unfair and we still want to talk about it.
I saw a video by an amputee warning other disabled people not to go to Thorpe Park in England, as they paid full price to enter, but were only allowed on 3 rides due to their amputation. This is something I also experienced when I went to the Gold Coast (mostly at Movie World, Wet n' Wild and, to a lesser extent, Dreamworld) and at Lunar Park in Sydney. There were also several others in the comments talking about similar experiences elsewhere.
But among these comments were dozens of people saying, "it's for health and safety reasons! The ride won't be able to hold you in!" And like... yeah, we know why. It doesn't make it any less unfair that we pay the same as you for a fraction of the experience. It doesn't make it feel any less shitty when you scrimp and save to do something like go to a theme park only to have to sit on the side line and watch your friends/family have fun without you. It doesn't make it any less scummy that there's very little warning that this will be the case (most of the time) until you arrive. It doesn't make it any less frustrating that so many recreational and fun activities don't even consider the possibility that disabled people would want to join in.
It's not just this video. It happens a lot. Any time someone complains about inaccessibility, there's always someone there trying to explain why the inaccessibility is there.
A resteraunt or shop isn't accessible? "Have you considered the person just didn't know/didn't have the money to fix it/were renting and weren't allowed to fix it?"
You called to see if some place was accessible, were told it was but when you arrive, it's not? "Have you considered the person didnt actually know/ thought it was and just made a mistake?"
You complain that a device/item/furniture item you bought isn't usable because of your disability despite there being no indication this would be the case before you bought it/no way to further verify it before hand? "Have you considered that disabled people make up such a small minority of their buyers they just didn't realise?"
Yeah, we know. Every single one. We considered it. a lot more than you did, i promise. We know why. We know sometimes mistakes happen, people don't think to consider us, there could be health and safety reasons for the lack of access, that people just don't know, and that it's not usually maliciousness or intentional ableism. I promise, we know all of it. We still need to talk about it though, so things can get better.
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ghouljams · 1 month ago
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Ok nobody extrapolate anything about me from this...
The first time you cry in front of the 141:
The first time you cry in front of Ghost it's because you can't fucking take it anymore. All the little things, all the comments you know he didn't mean to hurt, all the conversations you ignored because you didn't want to make him feel like the bad guy, it all comes to a head. You don't even mean it to happen, and you feel like shooting yourself on the spot as soon as the tears start flowing. It feels manipulative. It feels disingenuous. You feel like a piece of shit having him awkwardly bundle you in his arms as you break down sobbing over a topic that normally would mean nothing to you. And it all comes out. All the worries and slights you ignored, all the fears and doubts, all the things that made you question if you could ever even start to bring up with him. Like throwing up, once it starts you can't stop it.
He looks like you've hit him when you finally escape his bear hug. You barely get the chance to take it in before you're thrust back into sobbing hysterics, blubbering out apologies, how you feel like you're manipulating him, how you're a bad partner, how you're sure he's going to realize he doesn't want you and leave. You barely hear the rough "Jesus Christ" over your own hiccuping.
Ghost shuffles the two of you over to grab you a t-shirt to blow your nose in while you're sniffling and wiping at your eyes. You feel pathetic having him hold the fabric to your face and telling you to blow.
"Didn't know ya made this much snot love," he jokes.
"You're dot funny," you whine, nose still clogged with wattery mucus as your tears finally start calming down.
"I know," he grumps.
"You're mad at me," you sniffle.
"I'm not," he sounds mad, "mad at myself. Shoulda seen ya keepin' things to yourself, I'm glad ya finally told me." His scarred mouth screws to one side. "Just gotta work on makin' sure we don't get to this point again."
-
The first time you cry in front of Soap it's because you're so fucking mad at him. He's arguing with you over nothing, the same way he always does when he's in a bad mood. Finding little things that dig at you and twisting just enough to make it not his fault when you snap. Back and forth with your barbs until you got to bed angry.
You can feel the tears burning at your waterline before they spill and you know your hot cheeks don't bode any better. You're not yelling but you almost wish you were, at least of you were yelling at each other it might make you feel better about the sudden waterworks. You hate when this happens. Too big an emotion in the body, it has to come out somewhere, you suppose this is just the quickest avenue. The way Soap's face drops from anger to concern pisses you off though.
"Hen, are ya-"
"I'm so fucking mad right now," you assure him, "don't look at me, don't even acknowledge them."
"Ah dinnae ken," His voice is getting softer, it only makes you more upset, "Oh my bonnie, ahm sorry ah didnae think this would hurt ya so bad."
"Fuck off," you try to push past him to lock yourself in the bathroom and he catches your arm to pull you against him. "Fuck off!" You shriek, pushing at him.
"No," he holds you a little tighter, "my mam would 'ave my heid hearin' ah let ya walk away from me like this, yer stayin' 'ere."
"I will fucking skin you Mactavish," you struggle harder.
"Aye anno, now shut up an' quit yer kickin'."
You do neither of those things.
-
The first time Gaz sees you cry it's because no one's ever seen you before. Even in your best relationships, your closest friendships, no one sees you like Gaz. No one picks you up from work with flowers and takes you by your favorite bakery just so you can have a slice of cake when you watch your comfort show. You're not even through the title music, Gaz sorting through your takeout options after he'd gotten you a "fancy plate" and a small fork to eat with, when you break down in sobs. He's on you immediately, hushing you as he gathers you into his arms. He's so attentive it hurts.
"It's OK baby," he hums, "don't have to talk about it, you just let it out."
God even that gets you crying. You don't have to get your words right or find a way to explain what you're feeling, you can just feel it. You try to think of a way to put it into words but it all lines up wrong, sounds too juvenile, doesn't make any sense even to you. There's no need to say anything though, Gaz just sits there with you, holds you through it as you wet his shoulder with your tears.
You don't even know why you're crying by the end of it, you just kept coming up with other reasons to cry. Jesus you don't think you ever got over your last grandparent dying, or losing that one friend, that's something to unpack later. You feel drained. Literally dehydrated drained. Gaz's shirt is soaked, but he doesn't day anything when you pull back.
He cups your cheek at wipes at the wet stains on your cheek with his thumb, eyes searching yours before he gives you a tight smile.
"Why don't you go take a hot shower, yeah?" He offers, you give him a watery nod, he smiles and pats your knee. "Alright, off you go. I'll be in, in a second."
The second time you cry in front of Gaz it's before he's got you pinned to the shower wall.
-
The first time Price sees you cry it's because you're tired. You're tired of giving everything to this relationship and seeing him leave right when things seem to be falling into place. His phone buzzes in the middle of the night and you don't stop the downpour when he grumbles out a swear and turns on the light. You glare at the ceiling and let the tears flow. It hurts. Tight in your chest. This feeling like you'll never be enough, like he'll always have something more important than you, it kills you. So why can't you leave him?
Are the good times really good enough to make up for the bad?
It makes him stop what he was doing when he sees the resolute grimace and the flow of tears over your cheeks. You shudder in a breath when he sits on the side of the bed. You refuse to look at him.
How could he do this to you?
"Sweetheart," he starts, his voice low, gentling, "I'm sorry."
"You're not." You correct him, "Otherwise you wouldn't keep doing it."
"You want me to choose between you and the world, you know what I'll say." He always sounds so sharp, ready to guilt you into giving up what he wants.
"I'm asking you to choose between me and paperwork," you bite back.
"You don't know-"
"You get phone calls when you're being deployed." You remind him, "You get reminders when papers are due." You turn to glare at him. The look on his face twists like a knife in your chest. You're dead on the money, and it's killing him. "So can this really not wait until the morning, are you really that eager to be rid of me?"
"I'm sorry," he tries again, toeing off his shoes, "you're right, I hadn't noticed." You turn over as he climbs under the duvet again. You fold your legs up as his arm drapes over you hip and he curls around you. His lips touch your shoulder, a silent plea for forgiveness. "Let me make it up to you, no more running into red tape I promise."
You don't bother agreeing to empty promises, but the next day he's had the paperwork sent from the base. The same the next day. Price always told you working from home didn't suit him. Waking you up with a cuppa on the other hand and walking you to the station does though.
He makes good on his promise, he doesn't run off until the next call comes in.
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yuujispinkhair · 7 months ago
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Sukuna’s the type of baby daddy that even if you break you never really broke up 😭 and if you got pregnant again there no chance in hell it could be anyone else’s kid besides his
The love you and Sukuna have is world-changing. Even after you break up, you are both still stuck on the other and unable to move on.
Pairing: Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: Hurt + comfort, fluff, mentions of smut Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: 18+, mentions of smut but nothing explicit. Reader and Sukuna break up, but they get back together at the end of the story. There is a happy end. They already have a daughter together, and another pregnancy is mentioned at the end. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact. Divider @/benkeibear
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It's not that you aren't trying to get over Sukuna. You really do. After a week of crying your eyes out, you decide to go out. It's not even that hard to get chatted up by some guy at a bar. But when his hand lands on your knee, you practically bolt. It feels so wrong, so dirty somehow. As if your body is still Sukuna's territory and no one else is worthy of touching you.
You try again a week later and the week after, too. But none of the men you meet spark your interest. Maybe this shouldn't come as a surprise. After all, only a few weeks ago, you had Sukuna. You had the best. There simply is no one who can compare to him. No one will ever make you feel the way Sukuna did.
You regret the breakup. It was stupid. Just small things that accumulated over several weeks, combined with a bad day at work and Sukuna being grumpy when you got home. You could have handled it differently.
But now, your bed always feels cold, and your heart doesn't seem to be in your chest anymore. Instead, there is a stone in your chest, heavy and painful, while your heart is in another part of this city, in the hands of the man who will always be the one for you, even if you will never get back together with him again.
+++
Sukuna asks to see his child, but you feel unable to face him, so you cowardly text him back, telling him to just pick your daughter up from kindergarten and spend the afternoon with her. When Sukuna brings her home in the evening, you are relieved that he seems to have gotten the hint. He doesn't come inside but waits at the front door as your daughter runs up the stairs to your apartment.
But you aren't strong enough not to hurry to the large window that faces the street, gazing outside to see Sukuna's familiar tall, broad figure slowly stroll down the street toward his car. His pink hair looks just like the cherry blossoms that fall down onto the road like pretty, pink snowflakes.
You know you will never be able to look at cherry trees again without feeling sadness wash over you.
Maybe you will try going on another date with some new guy, but deep down, you know that it will be in vain. It will always feel wrong. It will always feel like something is missing. Because none of those men are Sukuna. No one can be like him. There is only one Sukuna. Everyone else will always just be second best.
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Sukuna isn't even trying to get over you. Not anymore.
On the first night after your breakup, he was a mess and stormed off to some bar, desperate for a distraction. Anything that would keep him from getting overwhelmed by his feelings.
He had some drinks and flirted with a random girl. Even took her home, thinking that sex would help him feel better. But the moment she tried to unbutton his shirt, Sukuna grabbed her wrists and stopped her.
It felt wrong. He felt wrong. As if he was cheating on you. He told the girl to leave and watched with his arms crossed as she angrily slammed his door shut before Sukuna sank down on his couch and buried his face in his hands.
He knew right then and there that it was no use to go out and try to have hookups. It wouldn't work, and it sure as hell would only make him feel worse.
In the following weeks, Sukuna worked longer and spent more time at the gym, always trying to stay busy because as soon as he got home to his deadly silent apartment, he was drowning in thoughts about you. Drowning in all those happy memories the two of you had made over the years.
You were Sukuna's love, his heart, his everything. He hadn't known or understood love until he met you. So how is he supposed to ever get over you and move on? It's impossible. You are still his everything, and you will always be.
And so it's clear as day to Sukuna that he won't even try to move on. He knows he will always be yours, whether you are together or not. He was only able to give his heart away once. And even if you don't want it anymore, it still belongs to you.
+++
Sukuna spends two days every week with his daughter, happy to see his little girl but sad because he misses the time when all three of you did things together. And when she looks at him with your eyes and asks him, "Daddy, why don't you just come home again?" Sukuna feels his heart shatter into a million pieces.
Sukuna doesn't know what to tell her. He, too, can't understand why the two of you decided to break up. It was stupid. Nothing big caused it. Just small things that added up, and looking back they seem insignificant.
"I don't know, princess. Maybe Daddy should really go home and talk to Mommy."
He decides at that moment that he will get roses and come up to your door this evening.
+++
Sukuna's chest feels painfully tight when you open the door, and he sees your face again after all those weeks, hitting him with just how much he missed you.
He hands you the roses, a beautiful huge bouquet that cost a little fortune, his eyes gazing deeply into yours,
"Please take those flowers. They come without any obligation to take me back or even talk to me. But I want to give them to you because you are still the mother of my child. And... and you will always be my woman, just like I will always be your man, even if we aren't together."
He fears he sounds like a creep, that he overstepped a boundary, and that he made you uncomfortable. But he has had lots of time to think during the last few weeks, and he promised himself that he would be more open about his feelings if he ever gets a chance to talk to you again.
You stare at Sukuna for a moment that feels like hours to him. But then he sees the tears gathering in your eyes and sees the way your hand that's holding the flowers is trembling. You breathe a soft "Kuna..." and Sukuna knows. He knows that you are still his, just like he is still yours.
He pulls you into his arms a split second later, crushing the beautiful roses between your bodies as he hugs you tightly. And you melt so perfectly against him as if you are made for him. Your face is pressed against his broad chest, and you snuggle against him, every centimeter of you touching him. You cling to him so tightly that it's almost painful, but it's the first time since your breakup that Sukuna feels like he can breathe again.
"I am sorry. I am so sorry for everything."
You both speak the words at the same time, eyes locked, small relieved smiles playing around your mouths.
You tell Sukuna to stay for dinner, and he agrees. He takes over the kitchen again, his kitchen, and prepares a dinner that he knows his two girls always loved. He sits at your table again, jokes around with his little daughter, and basks in the way you look at him with your eyes full of happiness.
Sukuna doesn't just stay for dinner but stays the whole night.
He kisses you after the two of you bring your daughter to bed. Pushes you gently against the wall and claims your lips again, though deep down, he knows that those lips always belonged to him, even when you were apart.
He grins when you laugh when he picks you up and carries you princess-style to the bedroom. Your lips are on his again, kissing him as if you can't get enough of him, making it hard to walk, but Sukuna would find his way to your bedroom even blind.
He locks the door behind you, turning around only to find your hands on his chest, unbuttoning his shirt while your lips find his again in another passionate but tender kiss that makes Sukuna moan softly into your mouth.
He makes slow love to you in the bed you bought together all those years ago, showing you what it feels like to be loved and desired and cherished endlessly. And you wrap your arms and legs around him and meet each of his slow thrusts while you moan his name softly, and tears run down your cheeks, showing Sukuna the same love he is showing you.
Sukuna doesn't leave again after that night.
The two of you talk things out, and only a week later, Sukuna finally puts a ring on your finger and tells your little daughter that she needs to pick a pretty dress because she will be a flower girl at the wedding.
And only a month later, you place a positive pregnancy test on Sukuna's pillow, making both of you burst out laughing when you realize that you and Sukuna must have made another baby that first night when he came back and brought you the roses.
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Thank you so much for the ask! It made me feel so many things, so I had to get these feelings out and write this little story 😭 I hope you enjoyed it and that it made you emotional, too. How could there ever be anyone else after Sukuna? It's really not possible 😭
Thank you so much for reading! Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗
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suiana · 2 months ago
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yandere! cheater and gn! reader who's in their villain arc...
you've suspected that something was up when your boyfriend started to get busy with his work, coming home late, hiding his phone from you...
of course you just wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt that he really was just stressed from his work. he was yourboyfriend after all. you had to trust him, didn't you?
well everything was shattered when you found one of his side chicks under your shared bed. she was naked, only wearing a pair of undies while holding in her pee.
"wtf why are you hiding under here?"
"your bf doesn't want u to know that he's cheating. told me that he'd kill me if i came out."
yeah, so the girl was an asshole to get with your man when she knew that he was in a relationship but at least she told it to your face straight up. also she pissed herself while getting out from the bed so there's that.
meanwhile, your boyfriend was sobbing and crying when he came home. you had found out of his side affairs, a side he never wanted you to find out about. to be honest, your boyfriend didn't know why he he got with others in the first place. he had everything he could ever want in you. you made him feel alive, all the good things you know. being with you was like a dream come true and he constantly felt like tearing out his skin from how happy you made him.
you were his god.
oh, yeah, thinking about it now that's probably it. he felt that you were too good for him and didn't want to taint you. which... was why he resorted to sleeping with others.
shitty move, yeah he knows. don't need to repeat it.
but you... why were you so forgiving? you welcomed him back with open arms, sobbed a little and told him how hurt you were! he thought you'd have up and left by now!
but you didn't.
he knew you were too good for him, he had to treat you better now. he just had to, this was obviously you giving him a second chance, right? oh he just loves you so much!
unfortunately for him, it wasn't a second chance. no, you were about to absolutely ruin this man.
it started with the small things. small rumours about him ranging from how he had a small dick to how he's a pushover... you needed to start your plan slow, you know. tear his reputation of a good and sensible man bit by bit. gotta build up that tension teehee >w<
then from the rumours, you started manipulating the people close to him. crocodile tears, white lies, and a whole pity party for yourself... telling his friends and family members how your boyfriend was an absolute shit of a boyfriend, how he didn't treat you right and how he was the worst an alive... well, it wasn't much of a lie. he did spoil you and treat you like a deity but if he really treasured you why would he cheat in the first place? there's no space left in your life to pity him.
the most important part was to constantly reassure him that you loved him and to make sure that he never finds out that you were the one ruining his life from behind the scenes. can't let him find out that his angel lover is the one that's bringing him to social death now!
by this stage, your boyfriend was completely dependent on you. everyone around him was looking at him like he was the absolute scum of the earth. where did the rumours come from? why was everyone avoiding him? he couldn't even go to work without his coworkers side-eyeing him like he grew an extra head! he's just lucky he didn't get fired-
oh and what do you know. he got fired.
he comes home crying, an absolute mess and a shell of the man that he used to be. what was once a confident and charming man is now a desperate and pathetic boyfailure.
"baby i got fired, i'm so sorry. i don't deserve to be with you."
his arms wrap aorund your legs, tears staining your pants as he seeks comfort from the only person still left by his side. yes, you're the only person left dying for. even his own parents desserted him, yet you stayed. he's so thankful-
"yeah, you're right. you don't deserve me."
it's like time stops the second the words fall from your lips. he slowly looks up at you, eyes widening in horror as his tears dry up. what? was he growing delusional? he must've heard you wrong. no way his beloved god just said that!
"haha... you're so sweet baby. joking around in a time like this-"
"i'm not joking. you don't deserve someone like me."
you slap his hands away, looking down at him as he remains on his knees on the floor. you had a smug smile, expression all cocky as you even started to laugh.
"haha! did you really think i wanted to stay with you? fuck no! i have standards okay? i really didn't want to stay with a cheater!"
your boyfriend didn't know what to think. what were you saying? he doesn't understand. is this a late april fools prank? the way his heart was clenching and the way he felt his face paled shows just how much he doesn't like your words.
"babe stop-"
"i hate you god damnit. i really thought you'd be the one for me but no! you just had to go ahead and cheat!"
but you didn't listen to him.
"let's break up."
oh yeah, you hear that? that's the sound of his heart shattering.
he quickly crawls over to you, face pale as he grips onto your pants tightly. his hands shook with each word he uttered, tone desperate as tears streamed down his cheeks once more.
he never thought he'd start begging for someone to stay when it was usually the opposite but... you were his god. the one he's devoted his entire life too.
so he'll gladly get on his hands and knees for you if he has too. you can't leave him. he doesn't want to be alone.
"please! forgive me! i know i did something wrong but i'm trying! you can't leave me too!"
he looks up at you, face completely flushed as he continues to turn himself into an even bigger pathetic mess. he doesn't care what he looks like now. he's practically lost everything. he has nothing left to lose.
"i promise i'll be better! i haven't cheated since you found out last time! d-doesn't that count for something?"
he gives you a shaky smile, as though that would convince you.
it wasn't.
in response to his words, you could only give a disgusted expression, kicking him away before walking past him to the front door. what a pathetic man he was.
"you know, you look best when you're like this."
you state, glancing at him with a smile before turning to leave his house. well, there's that. your plan was complete and your now-ex boyfriend was absolutely destroyed.
so why did it feel like... something bad was about to happen?
you quickly look back at him, keeping your cool and remaining nonchalant before you feel the blood drain from your face. your best friend?! where did they come from?! and the fact that your crazy ex was holding a knife to their neck-
"no... don't leave me... you can't leave... i have no one else but you..."
what were you supposed to do now that he was holding your best friend hostage?
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the-raindeer-king · 7 months ago
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(A/N: This is part 2 to my Mama Riley au! Thanks for all the love on the first one. ❤ no content warning and I'm trying to keep this gender neutral. Enjoy!!!)
You never expected your angry rant to actually change Simon's behavior. But it has, based on Mama Riley's weekly updates. He's stopping by more, staying longer. He's actually telling her things, mainly about his coworkers, but she's just happy he's finally opening up to her.
While you believe her, you're not seeing the change yourself. Fridays are when you have dinner with Mama Riley, and now apparently Simon too. He just… stares at you, a permanent frown on his face. As if you're the one intruding.
Part of you is glad he doesn't talk much. The few sentences he does speak, the low timber of his voice makes your heart race. Behind the scars and unwelcoming attitude, Simon Riley is a handsome man. But your loyalty lies with his mom. He needs to be a better son, and some silly crush isn't going to change your mind that easily.
Ironically, it's said loyalty that makes Simon fall for you so fast. His loyalty is rock solid, a promise held steadfast, an ache he feels in his chest every morning. There's no one Simon cares more about than his mom, and to see someone else care so deeply and fiercely about her makes you so insanely attractive to him. On top of that, your concern for Mama Riley made you willing to say something to him, and Simon knows he's off-putting and scary.
What I'm getting at is that this man is so down bad, it's not even funny. He'd literally take you to the court house and marry you immediately, if you were willing. But you're not, and he's kind of clueless on how to convince you to give him a chance. He'd rather catch a live grenade bare handed than ask his mom.
His mom who clocked the crush immediately, and is trying to help him without helping him. Even if their relationship is strained (much better now thanks to you!), she knows her son, and she knows he has feelings for you. And while she's not trying to meddle, she is trying to create opportunities for y'all to interact and get to know each other.
Opportunities that Simon keeps fumbling because he clams up so bad around you. He's never been good around people in general, and his crush on you just makes it twice as bad. Plus, he's aware that you hate him, and that's not doing him any favors either.
Mama Riley gives him time to make an attempt, only to watch him struggle and usually fail. But the attempts he's making with small talk, bad jokes, bringing you small knick knacks from deployment; it seems to be working. You're both opening up to each other, growing a friendship.
But as the months pass, nothing grows beyond a friendship. You don't want to ruin things between yourself and Mama Riley. Plus, you're not entirely sure where Simon's feelings lie. He's just as weird and off-putting as he was in the beginning, just now he tells you bad jokes and calls you ‘love’.
And, while Mama Riley promised herself that she wouldn't meddle - Simon's a grown man after all, he should be able to handle this - it's almost painful for her to watch the way you and Simon dance around each other. Nobody here is getting any younger, and after almost a year of watching you two, she decides to take matters into her own hands.
Simon's two months into deployment, when Mama Riley invites you over for routine Friday dinner. You're barely one glass of wine in, when she drops the bombshell on you.
“You know, Simon's in love with you.”
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