#knowing that theres the ''fire'' needs a deeper degree of understanding past his superficial mask
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Waiting for someone to ask H:SR Kaeya "do you believe in yourself? are you still on fire? did you ever put out that fire?" so I may pack my bags and end my roleplaying career right then and there because of the "fire burning away his old identity" allegory and I may be slightly obsessed with this to the point where shooting myself in the knee would be less painful and more productive.
Because, despite everything, he's still in the middle of the house fire.
Kaeya travels with a goal that has stopped making him feel anything but obligation to completition. He can only become whole with others that bring out the good in him, and he's at a loss when alone, drifting aimlessly without a real personality that could have a chance to develope in company. Not in the way he wants to.
He never put out that fire. And there's nobody who's going to walk through the tall, raging flames to do it for him.
#from another realm ━ (ooc)#“sam are u good” NO. HOPE THIS DOESNT HELP IM IN TEARS#:)#i am. not ok. i need to hold him#<- is the one making him go thru this#wow i really made him doomed by the narrative huh. man#knowing that theres the ''fire'' needs a deeper degree of understanding past his superficial mask#and then some more willingness to get serious with him because you see past said mask and hes just lost and tired#there's really no saving him. more like trying to make him have as much fun and loving him as much as possible#which is not only a good path but completely fine#its also less about being ''rescued'' from the fire and him just having to put it out really#also my antistaminics work alright. i laid down at 2pm for a bit and woke up just now SKDHSK HELP
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