#kirin o'connor

[raekensluver]

underrated men i love that need more fics on tumblr:

chandler bing (f.r.i.e.n.d.s)

ross geller (f.r.i.e.n.d.s)

joey tribbiani (f.r.i.e.n.d.s)

kirin o'connor (the wilds)

harry bingham (the society)

jesse swanson (pitch perfect)

ben gross (never have i ever)

[peterkoubek]

Always bring sand to the beach. ↳ Charles Alexander as Kirin O'Connor

[emthefictionlover]

[arcadian-litterateur]

bury it | kirin o'connor

𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙

summary: kirin has a no-side-effects solution to dealing with trauma: he buries it. but as time goes on while he’s trapped on the island, he realizes slowly that this “no-side-effects” solution does, indeed, have side effects—and they might just be eating him alive.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: mentions of ab*se and r*pe

a/n: i know we never got kirin’s full backstory in the wilds before it was cancelled; only a tiny part of it, so i decided to use what little information we had, kirin’s obviously trained responses with josh’s situation, and fan theories to create my own backstory for him. this is a super dark one shot, guys, and it’s not romance or anything. it’s just a backstory for kirin, but i do indeed plan on making more kirin one shots that will most likely use this backstory as a foundation, so keep an eye on that! this is like my own little the wilds world-building, ig you could say. also... @mirchoff here it is! probably not at all what you thought the "kirin one shot" would be but i have a dark side ig. don't worry we'll get less dark kirin content soon.

𝗞𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡 𝗜𝗦 no stranger to this shitty feeling. This shitty feeling of not mattering to the people he's supposed to matter to. It hit him early, and it fucked with his soul. He had a choice: let it fuck him up, or bury it.

He buried it, and he's been burying it ever since.

On the outside, he's always been the golden boy, the star athlete, the happy, popular jock who has everything he could ever want. He's always been a stereotype; a cliche…an easy-to-read, hard-to-get-with jock.

On the inside, he figures he's still a cliche, just a different one. He's an eccedentesiast. Someone who hides pain behind a smile. The golden boy, sure, but the golden boy with a dark past.

Maybe that's all he is: a remix of all the other broken, blond white boys. After all, what piece of Kirin O’ Connor isn't borrowed? He acts like his mom—she's a good woman, but she’s emotionally unavailable to him, much like his emotional withdrawal from the people around him. He looks just like his dad—fucking piece of shit. He got his jock attitude from the popular boys he used to idolize on television—now he realizes it was easier for them, because they had a script, and he didn't even get a plot summary. His talk comes from his coach—who saved his life, for which he'll always be grateful, but then ended up being a shitty, racist person just like the rest of them, and he hates him for it.

If he thinks about it, Kirin O’Connor doesn't truly like being this convoluted chemical reaction of different people. He wants to be something of his own. But he isn't sure how. And when he's honest with himself, he acknowledges that he's scared he's too fucked up to be anything on his own.

It started when he was a young, young boy, and his mother's father—he will never call him his grandfather—kicked them out of his house. He's not sure when he realized that relatives aren't supposed to be jerks, but he knows without a doubt that the only thing he and that man have in common is blood. He swears he will never be like his mother’s father; he will never sentence someone to cold nights in a car with the backseat for a bed.

Kirin still remembers clearly the days before he was popular. When he was still living in his mom’s car, abandoned by his father and now his grandfather, he watched his mom slowly slip away from him. And when he voiced his concerns to his teacher, explaining as best as an eight-year-old can that his mom needed help, he was mocked by the other children.

He was bullied by the other children for being forced into the role of caregiver too early.

Kirin shoved that pain down and decided that he was above it all. He spent so much time above it all that eventually, everyone else worked their way up, pulling themselves to his level like they envied his life. Gosh, if only they knew what his life was like.

He’s had two stepdads, and neither lasted. The first was named Grant, the second was Harvey. They were both artists, like maybe his mom had a type or something, and they were both sick. Not disease sick, but fucked up in the head, gross sick. Grant would always come home drunk, the classic stepdad with a beer belly and a loud, “Honey, I’m home!” He’d force Kirin’s mom to make his gross, alcoholic friends bean dip and casseroles. They’d trash the living room and then complain when Kirin didn’t clean up after them. 

Kirin didn’t understand why his mom put up with it for as long as she did. It was only after Harvey was gone, too, that his mom showed Kirin the scar from the fireplace poker that Grant had stabbed her with when he was too drunk to think straight, whispering out the nasty threats Grant had made towards Kirin if she didn’t keep quiet. Kirin remembered that trip to the ER, but his mom told everyone she’d tripped and bumped the poker. And everyone had believed it, Kirin included.

But if Grant was awful, Harvey was a demon from hell. Actually, Kirin had contemplated this theory totally seriously at one point, so confused as to how someone could be so cruel. What his mom had seen in this guy was beyond him, but once the new couple got back from their honeymoon, Harvey turned nasty, and Kirin had to sit and watch. Harvey didn’t even try to hide the fact that he abused Kirin’s mom from the boy, who was fourteen at the time. He’d almost boast about it, as if he expected Kirin to take his side, too. Instead, Kirin learned the hard way that Harvey was harder to expose than he thought.

Sometimes, if Kirin is feeling especially masochistic, he’ll pull up his shirt and brush his hands along the dull, dark lumps of scar tissue all over his stomach from the countless times Harvey put out his cigarette on the boy’s pale skin. Maybe that’s one of the reasons that Kirin stays tan—it doesn’t hide the scars all the way, but it makes them seem less suspicious. Like they’re birthmarks or freckles.

But the cigarette burns were the least cruel abuse that Harvey subjected him to, and he doesn’t really want to even think about the other shit Harvey put him through. Kirin hasn’t told anyone about the darkest parts of that time in his life. They’ve heard about all the physical abuse; the violence, but he’s never told anyone about the worst of it. Not his therapist, not his CPS officer. Definitely not his mom, even though she’d endured the same, or even worse. If he talks about the hazy memories from those nights, he has to confront the fact that they were real, and so he leaves those memories be. Tells himself they’re just nightmares.

It could be true. Harvey is a consistent visitor in Kirin’s dreams. Even if the real man is locked away in a prison somewhere, he still haunts Kirin’s sleep like a specter. 

He haunts Kirin now, even on this godforsaken island in the middle of nowhere. Kirin knows in his head that even if Harvey escaped prison and found Kirin’s old high school, he’d have no way to get to Kirin, because nobody fucking knows where he is.

Even Kirin doesn’t know where he is.

Maybe his memories that he swears are nightmares are the reason he could tell something was wrong with Josh. Kirin can’t explain what exactly tipped him off, but something inside his chest got super fucking tight, like it was constricting all of his blood and was going to rip his heart apart, and so he jumped in and told Josh to come with him. He was convinced he was being paranoid.

But now, staring at the welts on Josh’s chest, Kirin feels his blood chill, his fingertips finding the small pebbled cigarette scars on his torso as goosebumps rise on his body. Josh spews some excuse about gluten when Kirin confronts him about it, and Kirin isn’t having it.

He isn’t proud of what he does next, but he’s desperate to get this boy to tell him what’s wrong—or what isn’t wrong. What might just be in Kirin’s head, like all the nightmares. 

So he brings up Seth, uses him as a weapon, as a match that he waves under Josh’s nose, trying to light the fuse in this meek boy, trying to get him to snap and admit something, anything. And just like Kirin knew it would, it works. Josh is yelling at him, talking about how Seth is the problem, and the way his voice quivers as he trails off and his fists tighten up in a defensive stance makes Kirin want to crumple to the ground.

Because he knows that look. That terrified, angry look. He knows that look, because he’s seen it in the mirror on himself. Josh isn’t Josh right now as Kirin stares down at him. Josh is fourteen-year-old Kirin trying to explain away the odd wounds on his stomach to his coach, who isn’t buying it. Josh is fourteen-year-old Kirin breaking down in the lacrosse team’s locker room, finally admitting what Harvey’s been doing. 

And in that instant, even before he asks Josh to elaborate, Kirin knows what Josh did. He knows without a doubt what a sick, demented fuck Seth is, and all he can see when he blinks is Harvey, leering and spitting and screaming at Kirin, hurting him in more ways than just physical.

Kirin sees red, and he knows at that moment that he’s going to make Seth pay for what he’s done to Josh, because no one ever made Harvey pay for his worst crimes against Kirin, and Kirin can’t stand to see another r*pist get away with it. 

Kirin freezes as the thought flashes through his mind, a hand flying up to his torso again, numbly pinching at one of the scars. He’s never been willing to even think it before. To ever truly face the reality of Harvey’s twisted abuse. But he just did, and the full force of it is crashing down on Kirin, bringing tears to his eyes. He blinks them away, rage almost bubbling out of his throat as he growls,

“I’m going to kill him.”

And he isn’t truly thinking about Seth at that moment, not really, but since he can’t get his hands on Harvey to tear him limb from limb, he’ll have to settle. 

Even after he’s pulled away from Seth, the sick asshole sadly still alive and breathing, Kirin knows that he won’t stop protecting Josh. He won’t let Josh do what he did. Because when Harvey hurt Kirin, Kirin buried it. That’s what he did with the hard shit. He buried it. And slowly, it’s killing him from the inside out. Kirin doesn’t want Josh to fall prey to that. Kirin doesn’t want Josh to bury it.

And Kirin thinks to himself that maybe, just maybe, it’s time to pull out a shovel and start digging. Not a grave for Seth or Harvey, (oh, how he wishes), but a hole into the deep abysses in his heart, so he can finally start to unbury all of the shit rotting away from inside him.

Kirin is done burying it.

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦���𝘥

[suvarnarekha]

Kirin: I wasn’t that drunk. Josh: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important. Kirin: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

[4reology]

Happy birthday, Toni Shalifoe

Here is The Wilds Unofficial S3 team’s gift to the fandom.

Issue #3 for our #3′s birthday, out now! Read the third issue here or on Ao3.

Written by: anonymousbardrollsnat20, tnr92, root_chakra

Illustrated by: elena.castaman, gab.digitalart, hiredhandstudio, martian.moons, zed_draws

Follow us on Twitter and Instagram for posts and updates.

[ughwhynottt]

saw a fanfic of the wilds w Kirin as the love interest

three chapters in the mc and him were doing the do

which is funny on its own but even funnier when you remember

Kirin literally has the clap

Mans is literally infected with an STD

And everyone knows, too

Like gurl u just gave ur mc gonorrhea

Lmao

[prcphesieslie]

Ivan Taylor & Kirin O'Connor

" two broken souls scarred with the wounds from their demons , playing a dangerous game of love and trust . "

~ unknown

@lcnelylcves

[monachopism]

starting the wilds s2 vs actually watching the wilds s2

[ladyamaranta]

I'm surprised by how much I like Kirin. Not saying he is flawless, but I basically like every layer he has and even his flaws.

The character's development they did for him was fast, but I didn't like this trope subversion less because of this. When I say 'fast' I mean that I basically started ep.5 thinking about how bad it was for Josh to be paired with the "Chad" after the trauma he had gone through, and I ended that episode sure that Kirin was my fav (boy) character and also my fav person on the boys' island.

So, some consideration in no particular order:

- either Kirin has a natural talent to spot signs of abuse, or he has more backstory than what we have been made aware of so far. He frowns even before he sees the red marks on Josh's chest, reacting only based on his avoidance. He says and does what's right, not only he stays 100% firm in his decision to believe Josh but he also state that decision aloud multiple times. I see backstory here and I want it.

- not straight. He has a not-straight energy that is incredibly big. He's the Sports Jock and the "Chad" but his backstory has no girls in it: we don't see him with a girl not even in a fragment; he's not pictured as an heartbreaker, which usually pairs really well with the archetype of the Conventionally Attractive Popular School Bully Captain; he could have been busy with practise, sure, but from the point of the writers I see this as a deliberate storytelling choice to hint at something (or at least I hope so)

- he's funny. I find him genuinely funny.

- he's the natural leader, but he is also kinda the group mom. And his attentions to the others are so casual and natural that you fail to notice them at first: how he hugs Bo on the cliff, how he cooks and shares food, how he always has an eye on the others. It comes so naturally to him and therefore I want to know more about the "dad part" he gets to play and his siblings

- he may be a "act now think later (or never)" kind of person, but he is not a bad person. I ended up thinking about "bad boy, good man" as the perfect quote for him during one of the episodes.

- I'm not excusing what he said to Ivan in the flashback, but I really see that moment as nuanced. He said awful things, no doubts about that, but what I see in that scene is this: a drunk and sad schoolboy caught in the middle of a breakdown whose first reaction is to firmly state he is not an homophobe/racist (not sure about which one he was going for as the sentence is cut off) and to refuse to repeat the insults Ivan is putting in his mouth. In other words I don't see him as a racist and/or homophobe who is ready to insult people and happy to do so given the chance; and I see this because he does not come up with bad words he was refraining himself from using but is glad to let out, he repeats exactly what Ivan was telling him to say; I don't see any joy in him as the words come out of his mouth, I only see a broken young boy who is being provoked in a moment of fragility. Also, surely enough Ivan and him have more backstory, otherwise Ivan's provocation is unexplicable: we haven't seen Kirin doing anything bad up to this moment, so I don't get why Ivan starts this provocation. Therefore I suspend my judgment on this moment (and on both Ivan and Kirin before the island) until I know more about their relationship and what led to that moment in the locker room.

- his interview draws a lot of parallels to Toni and I like this a lot

- I'm really praying they'll use this magnificent example of "Archetype: Chad" to subvert the 'boys will be boys' trope and to show us a boy who is stupid and impulsive and everything a 'boy' is, but is also inherently a good person.

ALSO why he is officially listed as "Kirin O'Connor" but everyone on tumblr tags him as "Kirin O'Conner"?

[good-old-fashioned-lover-bi]

the wilds characters as "things to never say to someone who just came out"

+ bonus

[raekensluver]

there's something so sexy about kirin o'connor that makes me crazy...that man has got my knees buckling, and me yelling for him.

[dramaticallychill]

in a surprising turn of events, i like kirin

[emthefictionlover]

[arcadian-litterateur]

the wilds masterlist

𝖒𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙

𝖐𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓 𝖔'𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖗

𝔬𝔫𝔢-𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔰

bury it ⚰️

𝖈𝖗𝖔𝖘𝖘𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘

𝔬𝔫𝔢-𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔰

the klein-paige legacy 🃏 - the wilds x tmr fusion

[friendly-jester]

Kirin's fierce instant belief in Josh after he told him what happened with Seth made me do a complete 180 and I love him now. A good blonde boy. Kick Seth's ass bb!