#kinda wish i'd known sooner so i could have been kinder to myself but also i'm not sure younger me was ready to be kind to herself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

denizenhardwick · 2 years ago

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also there's a possibility that i might have had pots even before i got covid, covid just made it way worse and forced me to recognize and take my symptoms seriously. and looking back, a lot of stuff makes a hell of a lot more sense through that lens.

#personal #there were so many times where i felt like something was massively Wrong but i didn't have any definitive evidence #and i had such bad social anxiety growing up that i wouldn't say anything even if i was in extreme pain #so i just suffered in silence even when i felt like i was going to pass out or throw up #so many times i WANTED to pass out or throw up so people would notice and i would feel like it was legitimate #but it never quite got to that point so i never said anything #also apparently my heart rate has been extremely high when measured at the doctor's which would explain #why i can't feel SHIT i can't feel my heart racing at all even when it's at like 150 bpm sitting down #because that's just normal for me apparently i don't feel it because i'm used to it #anyways. that really makes everything i've ever done in my entire life feel a lot more impressive. proud of myself 💜#kinda wish i'd known sooner so i could have been kinder to myself but also i'm not sure younger me was ready to be kind to herself

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