#kinda related to the topic: maybe it doesnt bother others but to me it Was a little annoying how little they used flashbacks in this show

[kuzunoha-xiv]

i never noticed until now that its kinda odd that they straight up never really showed cliffjumper interacting with the guys in TFP. like i get it the focus was on arcee and her relationship with him specifically but... not even a flashback of cliff being silly with the guys? and you cant really say "oh its because of the rock" cuz there is a flashback episode where they just changed his VA. its kinda funny. i mean for a guy who's essentially the domino effect in the show and super important they didnt show much about him and his relationship with the team besides his friendship with arcee and how they met.

at this point i feel like the fanartist kotteri did more for cliffjumper's character and his friendship with the team than the actual show lmao.

[ghostlyvoidshark]

Hnnnghhdhdh thoughts of the sillies forever haunts me. Someone please worsen my brainrot I need to write something. The words wont word right but im trying.

The best I have right now is thinking about how the skelebois would react to someone with tourette-syndrome (because I have it and self indulgence in creative works is great.)

Please let me know your ideas and stuff about this and if you want more guys with other stuff or more reacting to this!

Sans

Very patient with you and honestly would probably not care unless something is timed funny / a silly response. I personally wouldn't be offended and would probably laugh at myself too. Like something happens - maybe he made a comment about something like the price of a ketchup bottle and you reply with a tic like "yippee" and you both end up snorting. Maybe it even becomes an inside joke. "How cheap is it?" / "dont worry its yippee certified."

Wouldn't ever antagonize your tics. He may joke (after a convo about boundaries and if youre genuinely okay with jokes) but he doesnt echo you / encourage you to tic for humors sake or anything else.

He doesn't personally understand tics and how it feels to do it but he understands pain and would 100% be there to help you out when / if you have painful tics. If you allow it he'll get you soothing items and distract you if it will help. Just let him know and he's got you.

If you develop a tic related to him he'll lowkey find it endearing. Like he isn't sure if its because you like him or if it's just a coincidence but he smiles a bit wider when you do it. (Stars help him if you develop a pun related tic like repeating his or saying one)

I usually have happy tics (probs something tied to stimming but it feels like a tic.) So i can imagine if you tell him the related tic is because youre happy he would melt on the inside. Especially when he realizes you echo him because you think hes funny. He has buried his face in a pillow to hide his blush after you leave. Papyrus has teased him for this.

Has on occasion made people uncomfortable for antagonizing you. Like glaring or making pointed jokes to rude people. He'll try to call them out first just in case they don't realize they're being harmful but if they don't care then He'll make them.

Papyrus

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

"Yeah, its just -" *explains tourettes*

"OH! OKAY! :] "

Literally as simple as that. He doesn't draw anymore attention to it or really notice it unless you bring it up. Like he just writes it off as a thing that happens and adjusts quick.

If you're okay with it he'll inform people you have it when they get confused. He figures it must be tiring constantly explaining yourself, but worry not! He loves sharing information and explaining things! Especially when its helpful! Not to mention when the topic can educate others on how to be more respectful and informed on others disabilities. So he sees it as an all around good thing and wouldnt be bothered at all to help. (Also he isnt going to just announce this about you, only saying things in convo if ppl ask)

Also, even if you prefer he not say anything, he will educate himself on the subject so he can be a better help and have a better understanding just in case the subject ever comes up later or he meets someone else with tics. It also doesn't hurt to be aware and conscious of these types of things!

I feel like he's respectful enough to let you finish your sentences but if you struggle really hard he might try to help. He'd gently ask a question about what youre trying to say and suggest words to help. He wont do it again if you ask him to stop - hes not doing it maliciously after all. He just doesn't want you to feel frustrated with yourself.

Is a tiny bit (actually very much) hyped when you echo him or have a tic related to him. He asks if its a good thing (like not a stress tic or smth) and if you say yes then he kinda taps his feet / jogs in place and squeals like an exited fan. Says soemthing along the lines of "I AM HONORED TO BE A PART OF SOMETHING YOU DO TO EXPRESS POSITIVE EMOTIONS!"

Awe and if you copy his laugh? Like echoing it when you're happy or smth he is beaming with pride like he's the sun itself. Because!! His laugh!!! It makes you happy and you want to do it with him!!! Kcjdjsns

Actually surprisingly (or not so surprisingly) helpful with painful tics and tic attacks. He is very good at getting you what you need to soothe you / make things less painful and stressful.

Would lecture someone for antagonizing you.

Red

Unusually patient with you finishing sentences and stuff. He kinda just sees any stutters or interruptions as part of the sentence. Like if someone were to get sidetracked or mutter something - he sees it like that. Sometimes he gets frustrated if you struggle to say something for a bit but its not at you. Its at the fact that he isn't getting what you mean when you try to explain without the troublesome word or if you continue to try to say it and it doesn't click in his head.

His immediate reaction is to side eye you but he doesn't make a big deal out of it. He'll probably comment on it like "you gettin' possessed?" But after you explain hes like "oh." And backs off. Might make some jokes before even processing that it could be offensive. Like not jokes about you being broken or negative stuff (hes trying not to be so rough around the edges lol) but just puns about the tics and jokes about glitches or something.

Probably would be the most ... "normal" about it. Wouldn't really ignore them or treat it like its a sensitive topic. Will point out when its funny (in a non harmful way), asks about them sometimes, and makes small comments here and there. For example if you make a weird gesture he'll tease you about it saying stuff like "castin' spells?" Or "I agree" to something you said that makes no sense.

Never thinks to antagonize your tics. Like yeah, he jokes, but he just doesnt think about it or think to avoid it. He just doesnt.

Gives mean looks and snaps at people who do it. He'll be nonchalant about it at first like "hey man, fuck off with that." But if they keep on he'll get more aggressive.

Kinda awkward with the painful ones at first. He thinks you probably just want to get through it and move on because pain isn't something normally expressed for him so he kinda just subtly goes easy on you without really drawing attention to it. If you express it more openly and/or he gets more comfortable he will try to help you out. He understands having aches and pains from things you can't really help (like wounds and scars) so he'll try to apply what he knows and what you tell him helps.

Grim

A little impatient but tries his best to be polite. He understand its not your fault, and he doesnt blame you for any irritation he has, he just gets antsy when things arent efficient. (Hes working on it.) At least he doesnt rush you or anything... yay?

Other than that he has a "i don't care" attitude about it. Yes yes, its a part of you, so what? He doesn't mean anything by it, he just doesn't see it as something worth acknowledging, really. It's like noticing someone has curly hair. Its there, it might be something worth noting at first, but then you just forget about it until its relevant.

Doesnt care if something is funnily timed either. You can have fun with it but he isnt bothered. But if you have a response to something he says, tic or otherwise, he instinctively takes it as a genuine response lmao.

"HM, THESE NOODLES HAVE BETTER INGREDIENTS BUT THESE ONES HAVE THE PERFECT SHAPE FOR WHAT I WANT TO DO."

*tic: " mac n cheese"

"NO, MACARONI NOODLES WOULD NOT SUFFICE."

Like he doesn't process it entirely that its a tic and kinda just responds seriously. Its kinda funny tbh. You'll probably end up giving up on explaining its a tic anyways if you try so itd be easier to go along with it. (He argues that it is rude not to respond and he is taking his manners seriously now that he is out the underground.)

Will rock someones shit for being disrespectful and antagonizing you. Like maybe not physically but he will verbally rip someone to shreds. Like its pathetic to antagonize someone for something so basic for no reason. Is this person serious? Being rude over something so minor. No, its not funny. What is funny is how this person thinks they can just start shit and be a nuisance with no consequences. People like them would've gotten their teeth knocked in for behaving that way. People at least knew not to be assholes for no reason. (They had a system of 'i leave you alone you leave me alone' unless someone was after something like power or money or whatever. You always had a reason to do violent things. It was normalized, but it wasn't barbaric. )

[deadbirdsinariver]

I should text my half sister really. Shes been calling me but I really dont feel like talking to anyone.

Tbh I dont know why I hate talking to people so much. Its not like I enjoy being alone either. Its just idk I guess alienation?

Not to bring that 2013 emo bs back. But I just very much feel like I dont fit in anywhere. Which doesnt bother me most of the time. But it makes communication hard. I dont often have things to relate to with people. I dont hsve topics to speak about because none of the things on my mind are good for conversation or intresting to others. And thus it just kinda ends up with me listening to others. Which im okay with! But I think that too just makes the divide bigger in a way.

Maybe I dont have a good core identity. But I think thats probably also just capitalism n branding talking to me. I blame college for that one. But it isnt untrue. Ive been working on twitch branding n it just. What if that isnt me you know. N then im stuck in it. N itll just nake me feel more alienated because now people will start to form an idea of who n what I am that is nowhere close to true.

Atleast typing all this put made me realize i may not be doing as well mentally as I thought I did.

I think thats just cuz none if it really bothers me in my day to day life. Its just thoughts. And I can stop thinking them when I dont wanna think about it anymore. And the moment I do, its no longer an issue.

But nothing really affects me. Like. Generally. Wats that called? Apathy? I think so. Not empty. Just not sensitive.

[4x01]

hiiii um i know im very late to everything but im another autistic who would like to chime in?? basically i agree with the other two anons in that the way people infantilize jack is really uncomfortable. this is kinda embarrassing but jack means a lot to me on a personal level because i STRONGLY relate to them, like i am fr so jack-coded ahabajandxkdj we have a lot of the same behaviors, behaviors people use to say they’re a child…when jack takes things too literally for example, like the parent’s permission thingy, that’s a very well known autistic trait so i dont think’s that’s “proof” that they’re a child. literally i do that all the time, and like other anon said, so does cas. or the fact that they have a stuffed bear; that doesnt mean theyre a child. i’m a young adult and i have a whole ass collection of them! and cas got a plushy for claire despite her not being a child. characters in the show have called jack hot too, like that one volunteer woman in 15x15. so i dont see why it’s wrong for you to? the show itself has put jack in situations that as you said would be so gross to do for a baby. i mean why would they have a toddler thinking theyre gonna have sex? thatd be vile. also that whole scene with harper just really reminded me of myself and how awkward i am with dating absbsjsndj so yea i highkey headcanon jack as an autistic young adult! and the cast members definitely do too, given some of the jokes the cast members have made (which were still inappropriate for other reasons ofc but they would NOT say things like that abt a toddler). holy shit this anon is so long im sorry sydney it’s just this issue has been bothering me for a rlly long time and it’s refreshing to see ppl talking about it and im hoping it can maybe provide another perspective? :’) it’s just that the infantilization of autistic ppl has gotten so aggravating that i straight up dont like telling ppl i’m autistic because so many times theyll change how they act with me and treat me like a baby. so the babyfying of jack just reminds me of that and i feel ILL. btw if it makes u feel better i also think jack is cute 👀 i wanna take him on a date to buy stim toys

anon i can tell this has been bothering u and i hope to have made u feel a little more seen🥺 im not autistic but a number of people close to me are so i do feel obligated to share about this topic; i can definitely see how the infantilization of jack could make you uncomfortable as someone who heavily relates to him. thank u for sharing and yes he’s cute as hell i hope you DO take him on a date to buy stim toys

[curious-menace]

Can you do headcanons of any Riddler getting cared for and gentle kisses from reader after getting beat up? He needs some loves.

SO I MAY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT MY ULTIMATE FANTASY IS TO GIVE RIDDLER A HUG WITH BACKRUBS AS HE TELLS ME ABOUT HIS DAY AND I STAND BY THAT WHOLE-HEARTEDLY .

i freaking love this stuff so im going to do all of them mwahahah

post asswoop riddlers getting loves

Arkham riddler

He’s VERY quiet, which knowing him and his inability to stop talking, is  bad news.

I paint arkham riddler as a cry baby and i stand by that. this is the hill i will die on. He’ll have dragged his sorry ass into your apartment or house , dripping blood on your floors but he wont bother calling for you. he’ll just sit at the table with his head in his hands having a lil pity party until you find him.

when you do finally get home, he’ll be looking like a kicked puppy. he’s gotten stuck in his own head, mentally beating himself up even more. he got a fright when you came in because he was so caught up he didn't even hear you at the door.

He’s literally sits there like a child with his arms up for you to come scoop him up. he’s not even sure why his first thought after getting beat up was to come here, he’s probably lead the cops here or something and that was so stupid and- you should probably give him a lil soft smooch on the head to stop him before he goes into a spiral.

he needs more emotional and mental care than physical. Talk to him while you're patching him up. any topic, it doesn't matter just keep him focused on your voice and not the one in his head calling him dumb.

he wont admit he wants to be held and coddled after something like this. get your softest blankie and 2 mugs of coco with marshmallows and just ramble at him. tell him about your day or ask him to explain something boring and complicated so he’s focusing on that rather than how upset he is. let him sit on your lap or between your legs on the sofa and watch how its made or mythbusters or something until he falls asleep. he should be ok again in the morning, he doesnt stay down for long. 

Blacklight Riddler

He’s used to getting his ass kicked, either by batman, the other rogues or once he’s a PI, by unhappy clients and the people he put away. He might be tiny but he’s pretty tough. 

even if he’s really hurting, his probably trying to crack jokes and tell blood and bruise related riddles. He doesn't like to see you worry so even if he’s in a lot of pain or a bit upset about things, he’s trying to make you smile.

he likes kisses on his bruises. even if he just banged his hand on the table he’ll come to you because he wants you to kiss it better. 

He’s a decent fighter, unlike a lot of riddlers who couldnt fight their way out of a paper bag. He can throw punches but he lacks in defence and with his bad knee, dodging can be a little hard. even if he wins the fight he’s still likely to need you to patch him up.

He likes kids plasters. like hello kitty and spongebob. no im not joking, he ALWAYS wanted them when he was little and his parents always said no. now he’s an adult he’s going to use them whenever he damn well pleases.

 if it was a particularly bad one, he’ll be ok in the moment even if he has to go to hospital. But he’s going to drop the facade at some point and let you see how upset he is. winding up in hospital after being beat was a common occurrence in childhood. even after doing it time and time again as an adult it doesn't make it any easier on him. he’ll want to stay in your bed, be close to you for few days until either he starts to heal or something snaps him out of his funk.

BTAS Riddler

he really prefers other people to do the fighting for him. well physically anyway. he can handle his own arguments...most of the time. He’s going to need you to nurse a bruised ego more than anything. he probably got dunked on my batman or crane and now he’s huffing.

i don't know if this counts as care and kisses but he clearly needs you around to keep his sorry ass alive. he hurt his side in a fight once and said he wasn't hurt. believable... until he started to act a little confused, a little dizzy. needless to say it worried you enough to take him to emergency care. 

He was obviously in agony by now but he was still fighting with you the entire drive there, insulting you and insisting he was fine. its a good job you took him when he did, turns out he’d ruptured his spleen and would probably be dead if you weren’t around to act like his common sense.

he still hasnt apologised for that. or any of the other times you insisted on medical care to stop him from pushing up daisies. he just pretends like you know he’s grateful so he doenst have to admit he’s bullheaded, stubborn and worst of all, wrong. 

if he has been seriously hurt, he acts more indignant about it than anything. he wants to be waited on and pampered while resting in bed. he can be a genuine pain to deal with, talking about how lucky you are to see him in such a vulnerable state and how you should be grateful he’s letting you do this for him.

He doesn't want to admit how much he actually needs you. his goons wont put up with him when he’s like this and he’s freaking paying them to do it. you do it for free and no matter how annoying he is you havent left him yet. he doesn't tell you but youve noticed he starts getting you more gifts about a week after he’s recovered. like its taken him a day or two to work out he should probably thank you for all you do.

Original Riddler

this riddler is just weird. like he gets a freaking hang nail and he pretends like he’s dying. but he could nearly lose a limb and he’ll say “tis but a scratch” and still try to hobble about like nothing is wrong.

actually he’s more like olaf “oh look i've been impaled.”. he probably tries to laugh off life threatening injuries like its nothing, taking maybe 3 steps before he collapses on his face in a blood puddle and lets out a tiny “help”

good luck moving his tall lanky ass around. better get a gurney and maybe those vets at the zoo who deal with giraffes. seriously if you want to take care of him you are going to need help or some sort of action plan and a go bag because with his limp butt this will not be easy.

he’s kinda like BTAS riddler in that he needs you to tell him the injury is serious. hes not dumb he just has a high pain threshold and genuinely doesn't realise that injuries are as bad as they are. 

he can be a bit of a baby while being patched up. he doesn't like a lot of blood or gore, it makes him feel a little sicky. better give him your phone to play with like a kid at the doctors or put the tv on for him to watch while you bandage  him. word of warning, he will pass out or throw up if you try to give him stitches.

i think you should focus your love and attention on him AFTER medical care. just focus on the job, be silent and as fast as possible to get it over with quickly. you should probably bring him something sweet too. no not just you, although you are sweet for looking after him. give him something sugary because he’s going to be light headed after seeing any blood. maybe you could give him a lolly for being a good patient. 

Telltale riddler

this riddler is essentially a metahuman. he can REALLY take a beating and bounce back fairly quickly. just look how many times batman punched him in the face and it barely stunned him! he doesnt usually need patched up after a fight. maybe just a lil smooch and some hugs

he did really need your help after the whole pact thing. having his friends abandon him hurt like hell, more than any physical injury ever could.

after that, he clings to you. almost obsessively so; we know he’s got some serious mental illnesses but he usually has the worst of it under control, even without meds. now? it seems like he’s experiencing ptsd and is afraid to go anywhere without you, like you might up and disappear if you arent in his line of sight at all times.

i think this riddler might need the most intense care from you. hugs and gentle reassurance wont be enough. you’re going to be responsible for taking him to therapy, keeping him taking his meds and grounding him to reality. this is the kind of responsibility you took on when you got involved with him but i doubt you realised how hard it would be. i cant promise it will all be worth it but i can promise he wont ever forget your kindness.

the kind of care he needs after such a hard knocking down is just stability. im not one for romance or any mushy gushy stuff but please just pour your love into the cracks in this poor mans soul.

its hard going, but he has his moments. his gallows sense of humor is still there and hey, after him being in and out and gone for so long, it might be nice to have him around more.  

Zero year riddler

INSUFFERABLE LITTLE SHIT THIS ONE. he could LITERALLY be bleeding out in your arms and he’d STILL be backseat driving on your medical skills. the temptation to just leave him there to bleed is INCREDIBLE.

he’ll drop the act eventually. he’ll ask and maybe even beg for your help. man has  no shame and all the self preservation instincts of a lemming. dont get me wrong, he can be a total coward some times, only looking out for himself . but when he’s actually hurt ? not a fuckin clue. does this head wound need an ice pack or heat pack? is this spurring blood wound worthy of medical care? no idea. he was a very sheltered child who never got so much as a bruise so he has no idea what to do when he’s hurt.

he gets the everloving shit kicked out of him on a clockwork basis. like you could hear knocking on your door at 3 am and already be at the table with a first aid kit like oh its tuesday riddler must have broken his nose.

he takes entirely too much joy in making you patch him up. youre starting to wonder if he’s doing it on purpose just to see you in your little apron and latex gloves . he’s getting off on this and you know it but god help you, you just  cant resist his dumb face asking for your help and would you also wear this pink nurses outfit while youre at it?

one time he lost a LOT of blood. he would be fine but he was pretty damn loopy from lightheadedness. while you were trying to get him into bed to rest he started flirting with you. can you believe the audacity? he’s lost 3 pints of blood and he’s still more focus on his libido? 

he’s actually going to be both humble and grateful for your help when he finally comes round. dont get me wrong, he’s still a bit of a prick but at least he says thank you for saving him before he demands you kiss all his booboos and ouchies. 

nonnie i am having a stroke. i was trying SO hard to just pick one but i COULDNT because i am WEAK for hurt and comfort.

theres a reason i have a tag that literally says “i have naughty hands and no self control”

someone needs to stage an intervention

got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜

[vrisrezis]

How would the matsus try and woo over someone who’s a really shy shut in?

I am shy actually so thank u for the rq

Osomatsu might make a lot of jokes about how shy you are, but he is genuinely worried about you and how you’ll be able to interact with people with how shy you are? Like what if you’re working and there’s a horrible customer and you’re too shy to say anything? He has thoughts like those and worries a lot. When it comes to wooing you, he tries to poke fun and tease you a lot. He does this in general, but he might ease up a bit with somebody more shy since it’s harder to handle as a shy person? He probably assumes you’re like scared of everything and that you’re defenseless just because you’re shy, so he might just endlessly flirt with you and annoy you, so teach him a lesson please. Also, definitely tries to get you out more but if you don’t, he’s staying in your house with you. He might eventually just be like, “hey I like you lol” just randomly. Doesn’t think much about it.

As for karamatsu, he can understand completely. He was a rather timid kid in high school, so he sympathizes with you. Like osomatsu though, might be concerned about you not talking much to people and every once in awhile encourages you to go out more. (Might just be an excuse for him to hang out with you more though). He doesn’t mind the shyness, it makes him actually feel more comfortable and might even be a bit vulnerable with you. He finds himself adoring you a lot, though since he wants you to like him back he tries to act cooler than usual. When it comes to wooing he may flirt a bit, but he ends up becoming really nervous. He assumes since you’re shy you might have the same experience as him, so he just adores you and is very careful and cautious. If you do anything social he will praise you for hours as well, btw. Eventually you have to ask him.. “wait.. do u like me..?” And it’s only then where he’s like “yes did you just realize that now?”

Choromatsu isn’t exactly a shy person, but he can sympathize with you at the very least. Like the other two though, worries a bit about you not talking much to people. Even if it’s just with him and his brothers, he’d like it if you would talk a bit more and try not to be such a shut in and get out sometimes. He knows talking to people can be a bit difficult, but he still tries to encourage you to do so. Even if it’s just ordering food or something simple. Unlike the other two doesn’t limit your shyness to being timid. Not all shy people are scared all the time and timid individuals. They just have a hard time talking. He’s probably more understanding of this topic, and doesn’t mention it really. When it comes to wooing, he might be a bit nervous at this. He just does simple nice things for you, and eventually after MUCH time would ask you out on a private date where you two wouldnt be bothered.

Ichimatsu hates talking to people, he understands.. to an extent. He also understands wanting to shut yourself out from the world, he will gladly do it with you. He feels more comfortable with you because you both can relate to that sorta thing. You both hate talking to people. He just seems like a really good friend, he doesn’t woo you and finds himself in this friend zone typa thing. Eventually he finds himself just asking if you wanted to date him, and that’s that. All in all he likes somebody like you, you two just laze around all day doing nothing. Maybe petting some cats and playing with them but yeah. He hates having friends and it’s likely you feel the same. Like Choromatsu doesn’t limit your experience to being timid, you could be shy and have a personality like his. Whatever the case though, he will make sure you’re not too shy with him.

Jyushimatsu seems to carry a lot of your conversations because of your shyness but he really doesn’t mind. He’s with ichimatsu the most out of all his brothers, the least friendly one. He truly does not mind that you aren’t good at talking or if you just don’t like to. He’s good at talking about nothing and everything, and he can make you just so comfortable talking to him. He might just break you out of your shell a bit. He wants to get you out more often though. He’s not concerned about anything in particular like his eldest brothers are, he just thinks you should get out more. Especially since he loves going out! You two often have to compromise when hanging out, but eventually he asked you out on a date so you kinda had to say yes to leaving the house. Now he takes you on a lot of dates outside, but he will make sure it’s not too active for you if you don’t like that.

Todomatsu constantly whines to you about how you need to leave your house. Constantly insisting it cannot be healthy to be inside that much. So you and him will often go to the gym together but it’s quite literally the only time you leave your house. You cant get you to budge more than that. He doesn’t mind your shyness, as he used to be shy in high school himself. He doesn’t think much of it, it’s just who you are? He just doesn’t like that you don’t get out enough, doesnt that get sad and lonely? He tries to flirt from time to time, he gets a bit nervous about it though. Eventually he just asks you out on a date where he can take you shopping.. if you were comfortable but he really thinks you should see some people every once in awhile.

[mathematicianadda]

Self studying - how to know if i am on the right track?

Hello guys, i am a mathematical physics student in the mid of my second year and currently starting to learn about differential forms, integration on manifolds and functional analysis. prior to that i have studied proof based linear algebra and real analysis up to measure and integration theory.

while looking for books to study from i realized how vast mathematics really is beyond basic topics like real analysis and somehow i have the feeling that i am not grasping the new topics as good as the old ones.

for example, in linear algebra most theorems make sense intuitively when you imagine them in 3 dimensions with subspaces being lines and planes. in integration theory you define integrals as the limit of integrals of simple functions and you can then proof things like fubinis theorem by proofing it for simple functions and extending it to integrable functions by limit theorems etc. most of the time you can see why things are true and what the theorems mean intuitively and they seem like important statements to know about the objects youre dealing with.

now in those courses i felt like i am just studying familiar objects like integrals in greater detail. on the other hand, in functional analysis it seems to me that you just proof how random spaces are related to each other or how integral operators are continuous in different norms. the "applications" of the big theorems in my textbook consist of proofing such things most of the time. while there are sometimes also interesting statements about how you can solve integral oder differential equations using this, i just dont know why i would e.g. need to separate convex sets by continuous functionals.

i think differential forms make kinda sense to me after i read terence taos pdf and some things people wrote on stackexchange. still, learning about the lemma of poincare yesterday, i have no idea why it is true neither how one would come up with the idea to proof it or why it is related to the space being contractible or why the constructed form is the "antiderivative" (my book used a pullback from the space X to XxI using the projection to X and defined an integral form on XxI by just integrating the termins involving dt).

as i try to look up why this is true i find explanations on stackexchange involving things that seem very advanced to me at that point, like cohomology groups and cannot really follow them without getting lost in a rabbit hole of looking up definitions. most of the time i give up because it would just take too long. this feels wrong, because the authors of my books usually tell the reader that the books are written for self study and i have to move on without really having the feeling that i grasped the theorems. the book which covers differential forms for example, is the last book of a 3 book analysis series which starts from the basics like set theory and i read all the previous books and chapters, so i should get the theorems without looking up things from other sources for hours right?

often, authors hint to further topics and to me they all seem important to understand the material well, like category theory to understand de rham cohomology, yet i feel like i cant learn about all of them during my degree. when i look up how to get into category theory, i hear that i first have to read a book about algebra (which would take me like 3+ months probably, maybe more if im doing regular coursework parallel to it) and then about category theory (another 3 months), then maybe about topology and only then i can get started with a book about how those tools are used in manifold theory. so it would roughly take over a year TO GET THE BASICS. namely of one field (differential geometry). or do i just mistake pretty advanced stuff for "basic"?

or is it really supposed to take so long to undestand something well? this would mean that i could only reasonably learn about one field during my degree. but the description of the graduate level courses at my university states that prerequisites from many different fields are needed, mainly differential geometry, functional analysis, partial and ordinary differential equations and complex analysis. this is bothering me, because how could i possibly pick all of that up when i already need 1 year to learn the basics about the first field? am i just confusing the "basics" with pretty advanced topics? i cannot really tell how important things are and what i should know yet and what can wait until later.

so my questions are:

is it normal to move on in books without having the feeling of really understanding things well? do i just have to be patient and go on and eventually as i learn more about a topic and read more than one book about it i will slowly understand it more intuitively?

do you think i should ignore that feeling and things will suddenly clarify during a second read? or should i rather focus on getting intuition on the constructions etc as far as i can before moving on?

are these hints to further topics like category really intended for the average student, or are they aimed to people possibly specializing in this field later?

or should i consider to study different topics which are easier for me, like statistics oder progamming?

tldr; i am self studying and dont really know how to tell wether im doing good. solving exercises doesnt mean i understand the theorems intuitively, it just tells me that i can do computations. sometimes i have the feeling that im only progressing very slowly because there is so much (essential) math to learn. how much math does the average graduate/masters student know and how long should it take to pick that knowledge up? for example i consider the areas of differential geometry of curves and surfaces, integration of on manifolds, functional analysis, complex analysis and ordinary and partial differential equations to be something i should know at least at the level of an 300 page introductory textbook before applying to a masters, is that true? graduate course descriptions and the amout of classes some fellow students take make me think this is true.

i am sorry for the long post, but as i am self studying i do not really have anyone else to ask or any other way to know if i am doing good or i need to improve my study habits/the way i approach math.

thanks for reading this and (maybe) helping me!

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[anything-advice-blog]

[TIME SENSITIVE / URGENT] toxic friend

i kno u guys must get like thousands of messages and im so sorry for cluttering ur inbox and pushing this to the front of the line but im just. desperate and really scared and i need to know what 2 do abt this as soon as possible!!! also as a preface i apologize in advance if some of the way i word things in this come off as offensive or incorrect, etc - i truly, genuinely do not mean any harm so please feel free to correct me if i say something that isnt okay!!! also this is REALLY scattered and mega long so bear with me im really sorry! (also im so. so scared the person in question is gonna see this o H MY GOD so i may need to message this blog again asking for this post to be taken down maybe bc im really paranoid im so sorry!! i hope thats ok but i just dont want to risk her seeing this if this all blows up in my face ohrkjdghkjghfdgj!!!) (TW: SUICIDE MENTION, SELF HARM MENTION)

ok so. almost 2 years ago in early 2016 this girl i’d never met before drew me this incredible gift art for my birthday. we started talking and we found out we have a lot of things in common - we both draw and write, we’re just a few months apart from each other in age, we have similar interests and fandoms, n we live less than an hour away from each other and are one state away from one another - so we immediately hit it off n became super close friends. she was amazingly talented n super friendly and nice n stuff so i wanted 2 be friends w her anyways!!!!! @ the time she was in an online relationship with someone several years older than her who lived across the country, and she mentioned a few times she was feeling unhappy and insecure in that relationship and that long distance was really difficult but she was too devoted to her partner to break it off. the most important thing 2 note is that my friend has several severe untreated mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, ocd among others), regularly self harms, and is suicidal. im pretty sure im neurotypical (or at least i definitely am not suicidal / depressed, etc), so while i couldnt relate to a lot of the things she was going through, i always tried to be a listening ear to her and give her advice / support when i could because i knew she was going through a lot of rough stuff. she told me she doesnt have any friends in real life, her parents are separated and her family does not support her or even really know / care about her mental health, and she can’t access any professional help from teachers / counselors / therapists due to her severe anxiety and financial issues for some of the latter options listed. as her relationship with her partner began to crumble, i started bearing a lot of the weight of her struggles - she would vent to me and i would always have to be there for her to support her. i told myself that because she was mentally ill and didnt have any support i would take on that role so she wouldnt have to suffer. over the summer of 2016 she almost attempted suicide like…. twice??? and i talked her out of it and it was terrifying and really exhaustimg to constantly be worried about her.

then almost a year ago, in the winter of 2016, she started getting… clingy? we started talking a lot more and i didnt really get like any bad vibes from her but we were pretty much joined @ the hip and stuff and we started telling each other all of our secrets (so this is when i found out her relationship with her girlfriend was starting to crumble, which i didnt previously know) also she started constantly drawing me stuff??? like Drowning me in gift art and i felt really bad for not being able to reciprocate but she told me not to worry and that she used art as a coping method and stuff. at this time, i was going through some stuff too - obviously not as severe as depression / self harming, etc, but i had just gotten out of an almost-relationship with someone i knew from school, and i was doing my best to distance myself from romance in general since i didnt feel mature or confident enough to be in a romantic relationship yet. i told my friend that i was uncomfortable about the prospect of being in a romantic relationship and she seemed to understand.

anyways right around my birthday this year she revealed to me that she was madly in love with me (???!!?!?!?!?!!?!!?). mind you we had never even talked to each other / video called or ANything like that and we had only sent each other One (1) selfie and. it made me really uncomfortable because she said that like i was her moon and stars and her whole world and everything and she constantly dreamed of me??? and that she had been secretly like writing me love poetry and drawing me Even More Art i didnt even know about and…… it was. really overwhelming. it bothered me for so many reasons besides the fact that we had never communicated outside of like chatting / sending messages back nd forth like…. ok she was still in that long distance relationship at the time even though it was crumbling, and she KNEW!!! that i was uncomfortable about romance but she told me anyways and stuff!!!!!! and AHHH it was just really bad. so i panicked over it for a day or two because i was scared that if i Firmly Said No that she would spiral into a depressive episode and actually fatally harm this time but i wrote her this huge long letter letting her down very, very, VERY gently and apologizing for ever leading her on and stuff. and. she never actually wrote back to that letter or told me that it was okay???? which….. should have been a red flag 2 me but. we moved on as friends even though we did this conscious of the fact that she still loved me like that and i didnt feel the same way. looking back on it i regret it so much because i told her that like i would Always Be There For Her Forever and stuff and??? gfkjhgk yeah it wasnt a good time.

its been almost a year since then. in the spring i got my first smartphone and we added each other on a lot of social media stuff including snapchat and moved all our conversations there, then we decided to call each other and exchange phone numbers and see how that worked. i didnt really think much of it and was excited to hear her voice and have a conversation with her but…….. suddenly that one call turned into two and two turned into three and within a few weeks we were calling each other like All The Time (at least once a week if not more) and like making these really fucking elaborate schedules to call each other????? WHICH LIKE i dont think is a normal thing friends do idk if im wrong but!!!!! i literally call None of my other friends except for her, and a lot of that is bc i actually get really anxious and uncomfortable talking on the phone?? (also not to mention my mom doesnt really like me talking on the phone either….) but i never really told her that it made me uncomf or that it was difficult to mnge like i guess it just kinda.. Happened and became the norm. so now on top of constantly messaging each other multiple times a day now we were calling frequently too and there was suddenly a lot more pressure in our relationship because i had to stress out over making a large amount of time in my day to talk to her. i graduated high school this spring and having to balance the extreme emotional load of that major change with like… suddenly having to fall all over myself to make time to talk to this girl i didnt even really know?? was just really bad and i regret it so much because i feel like i missed out on fully experiencing it i guess. im really really passive and im TERRIFIED of confrontation and i dont like saying no to people or telling them if im uncomfortable because They Will Get Mad At Me and it was especially worse bc of my friend’s mental health and so she and i would talk for hours on end because i was afraid that if i got tired and ended the conversation without a legitimate excuse she would get mad at me and hurt herself. since we could fit way more conversation into like… long long hours of talking and talking, we ended up like. just telling each other literally Everything and she “eventually” fell out of love with me and started trying to meet people who she actually knew irl to date!! which was. kinda good bc she met this one girl and they hit it off but then it turns out she was just….. queerbaiting my friend??? which Sucked so that obviously didnt work out. and then she met another girl on this dating app and they started going out and my friend started talking to me less for a little while. it turns out though……. that my friend’s new girlfriend lives in my town??? like i dont know her but bc of that my friend and i almost met in person bc the two of them met up and went out together and stuff and they were gonna drop by and see me but that didnt work out. im getting off topic here but my point is……… she told me she wasnt in love with me anymore and she started seeing other people.

sadly she and her gf recently broke up. their relationship was also really unhealthy just like…… All Of Her Relationships and that other girl broke up with my friend because she said she needed space (she was depressed too and needed to recover and my friend was being too clingy and attention seeking and stuff so she just ended it in the middle of the night over text.) ofc ive stuck around for all of this and my friend has vented about every tiny detail of this relationship to me and its…. been So Stressful. now that shes single again she’s more depressed than ever - over the summer when she was dating that other girl she stopped self harming but she started again when their relationship started going south and now im really scared she’s gonna hurt herself, esp bc she tried to commit suicide again a few months ago which was terrifying. also another thing thats made me REALLY uncomfortable!!!!!!!! is that she Keeps Bringing Up the fact that she was in love with me whenever we talk on the phone??? like Every Single Time We Talk, Without Fail. even when she was talking abt her new gf with me sh was like. comparing her attraction to her gf to her attraction to Me and talking abt how they were similar and different and. i never had the guts to tell her it bothered me but god it just does So So Much!!!!! because we were never in a real relationship and she doesnt even really know me KDSJFHKHGAHHH im rambling so much this makes no sense at all and this is so long im so sorry ahhhh but im… Stressed!

so….. we’re running up on two years since we’ve met and one year since she told me she loved me. im in college now and she’s still in high school, and she’ll be i college next year too. again, i dont think that im depressed or mentally ill, but ive been struggling a LOT with the adjustment from hs to college and its been really really rough on me emotionally. now that my friend is single she’s been solely relying on me and trying to get me to call her multiple times a week because she needs the extra support now that she doesnt have her girlfriend anymore… but she doesnt seem to understand that i i just dont have enough time or energy to give all of myself to her and fall all over myself to make her feel better, especially when i already feel suffocated by her to begin with AND when im suppposed to be starting this new life and putting all of my focus into that. we’re mutuals on every single social media i have and i feel like im constantly being crushed by guilt whenever i do anything for myself or post stuff bc she can see what im doing constantly. and like she asked me to turn my read receipts on when we started moving from snapchat to texting and i have them turned off regularly so i did and it was really uncomfortable. i keep bending myself over backwards to mke sure im making her happy bc im all she has left.

neither of us have good relationships with our moms and so we’re always sneaking around to call each other and lately ive been calling her at school because obviously my mom isnt there and its less of a hassle to sneak around her and and talk……. but its a double edged sword bc i keep having to isolate myself and skip clubs / studying / hanging out with friends and socializing to talk to her and listen to her vent and its just so exhausting and i feel like im starting to seriously fall behind in other areas of my life im supposed to be getting better in. its hard enough adjusting to this and missing high school and stuff and trying to learn how to be an adult and be independent, and having her weight over my shoulders just is making things so much worse. but if i tell her that she’s choking me she’ll hurt herself (she’s literally said to me, Multiple Times (and recently!!!) that if it werent for me she’d be dead by now or she would kill herself and stuff and im the only thing she’s living for at this point. which. i dont know how to feel about that). i feel so trapped and i can’t say or do anything that indicates that im uncomfortable because she’ll get mad at me and make these passive agressive little side comments or do these alarmed emoticons and stuff or give me the silent treatment for a day or two (which is always scary bc like its Good when she’s not talking to me but when she doesnt im scared that something horrible happened to her!!!!!) and its just. god. ive started lying to her and coming up with fake excuses to get out of calling her because the thought of having to go isolate myself in these empty courtyards or nooks and crannies of my college campus is growing more and more uncomfortable and terrifying to me and i just cant fucking be honest about it because i suck. when i talk on the phone with her i have to be really fake and smiley and stuff and all she does is ramble about how horrible things are going for her and then i have to try and give advice when i just am so bad at talking and socializing already and im dealing w my own stuff and its… Awful. im so so weighed down by this nd i know that if she knew she’s being a…. b*rden to me right now she would be devastated and harm herself and stuff so i cant say anything and im spiraling out of control with THI s but you get the point im just really uncomfortable Always!!!! and i feel like my own emotions are completely 100000% inferior to hers because she’s gone through so much more than me and stuff???? and idk if thats True or if its just the way i feel but i just cant do anything around her bc shes like a ticking time bomb and anything i feel or try to do to protect myself from getting hurt will be selfish bc shes hurting way mre than me!!!!!!!!

anyways her birthday just happened a couple weeks ago and i bought her a tiny present and drew her somehting (i felt super guilty about not doing More for it though because shes done so much for me and also literally nobody except me remembered her birthday, not even really her own family). i havent mailed it to her yet (i told her i would send it this weekend, which is why this is marked as urgent) but we just exchanged addresses for the first time so now she not only knows my name, my age, what i look like, my Entire Backstory Ft. My Deepest Darkest Secrets, and how to reach me whenever she wants wherever she wants, but now she knows Exactly where i live and where i go to school too lol yay!!! anyways im getting really really anxious because i just had my midterms for college and didnt talk to her for an entire week last week but this happened right after her gf broke up with her and i think shes mad at me for taking a week off of talking to her. we were gonna call again today but i weaseled my way out of it bc it was so overwhelming and now i have to mail her this gift this weekend and my mom and other fmily members are all yelling at me about it and demanding that i just like…. Not Send It To Her because i dont owe her anything and tht i should just cut her off but if i do she’ll hurt herself nd she follows me everywhere and knows all of my secrets and stuff and idk im just scared that if i end our friendship she’ll try to ruin my life!!!! Like i dont think she would be petty like that or turn people against me or anything but she’s so obsessed with giving all of herself to other people nd she’s literally said she cant function without being 100000% devoted to somebody and like even after she’s broken up with all these other girls she still…. is obsessed with them and angsts over them and stuff and she does that with me even though i never even dated her or anything aND ITS JUST bad

like. idk i just really needed to get all of that out and im sorry it was so so so long and i dont even know what to do but i guess i marked this urgent because like. do i send her the present???? should i try to just like quietly distance myself from her real subtly so she wont notice or should i just straight up tell her that i cant breathe around her anymore and i just. really need space??? or like to not be friends anymore even though we know everything about each other??? am i being manipulated or is it jsut All In My Head that our relationship is toxic??? like idk if i shoud even cut her off completely or aNYTHING or if we could like even go on being just acquaintances from now on and saying hi to each other from time to time. and i feel so mean and bad for writin all of thisstuff about her when i know shses so vulnerable and i havent concretely communicated Any discomfort around her so if she saw this she would immediately know it was about her and do something Terrible to herself nd she constantly spams me with memes about depression and wanting to die and like…. blows up my phone with like 50 text messages at once and its just so so so much to worry about and i!!! just!!!!!! cant function like this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!

anyways that was a huge disorganized mess and im kinda shaking and i dont even think i got all of it down or communicated how trapped and helpless i feel. ive never been in any situation like this before and i hate that she’s…. yeah. she’s really like manipulated me and stuff and i dont know how to get out of it. every time i think about it i feel like bursting into tears because im just so stuck and i dont even know if the way im feeling is even valid or if its all just lke. in my head or something and this is how friends really are Supposed to be because ive never really had a great social life either and my best friends are honestly my brother and sister and they mean everything to me and so i have friends outside of my family but like idk i never like. really was that close with any of them nad stuff nad idk this isnt about me BUT i just uhhh. am kinda crying a little bit and im sorry fo rbeig a big baby about all of this its all my fault for being a Human Doormat and letting people walk all over me nd tellin myself that i can bear that weight when i really have never taken good care of myself before Ever In My Life and stuff. but anyways im gonna stop rambling now and just… to whoever reads this or responds to this or whatever just thank you for hearing me out even if you think im wrong / crazy / Terrible for feeling this way because it just has been so much and i dont know what to do.

Hey there!

There's a lot going on here, but the bottom line seems to be this; you're in a friendship that you don't want to be in, and that you feel is unhealthy for you.

You are not her therapist. You can't fix her, you can't treat her, you can support her, but that's it. You aren't responsible for her. You're forcing yourself to put all this time and energy into something that you're super uncomfortable with, and don't want to be doing, and it's draining you and destroying your own mental health. You have to put yourself first. It's okay to want to help people, but you HAVE to put yourself first, or else you'll burn out and you won't be able to help anybody.

At the very least, you need to talk to her about how you're feeling, and tell her you need to tone down your relationship. What's happening absolutely isn't fair to you. All you can do to help her is your best, and right now, you're not doing your best because you're not taking care of yourself.

I know you're concerned about her hurting herself or killing herself, but you have to understand that you are not responsible for her. If she does something to herself, it's not as a result of your actions. She's traumatized and mentally ill, and those factors are what causes her to hurt herself. Not you. You are not and can not be responsible for her. Period. If she tells you she's going to kill herself or severely hurt herself, you have her address. Call 911 and ask them to dispatch help to her house. She might hate you for it, but an angry person is far, far better than a dead person. That action very well might save her life, and get her the help that she needs, so don't be afraid to do it.

As for the present, it's totally up to you. You did promise it to her, and fulfilling that promise might help you let her down a little bit more gently. At the same time, giving her a permanent reminder of you could hurt her. Maybe you should ask her? Tell her about how you're feeling and that you can't keep going with this intense of a relationship, and have a conversation about that. During that conversation, you could ask if she still wants the present. She might get angry, or it could help soothe her, or maybe she'll have a totally different reaction. It's hard to know.

This conversation is going to be super, super hard. It's going to be hell, quite frankly. She's a super sensitive person, and she's probably not going to take it well. So remember what I said before, about her not being your responsibility, and do a LOT of self care working up to the conversation and after the conversation. I'd recommend making a self care kit, and putting things in it that help calm you down. My personal self care kit contains nice smelling lotion, soft fabric, stuff to play with, gum, tea bags, and notes from friends reminding me that they love me. You could also be texting a friend during the conversation, so that they can reassure you and help talk you through it.

You may not be going through the same things she is, but your feelings and your struggles are valid. You don't need to destroy yourself to help someone that's "worse" than you are. You need to take care of yourself, and keep yourself as healthy as possible. You aren't any less valuable simply because you're not traumatized or self harming. Your mental health is important, and you need to do what's right for you.

I hope this helps!

♥ - Fawn