#kinda feels like we're drisfting apart and i hate it
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#srsly need to talk to my partner about stuff but being long distance sucks sometimes#i've always struggled with feeling like im outside looking in#specially because we're both so busy all the time and have to live separate lives and its always felt like im never fully part of his life#but lately. it's been different#because i feel like im outside of very important changes and it's freaking me out a little bit#is he the same person he was a year ago? six months ago?#he feels so far away and like im watching him become someone else#and it hurts in a way i didn't expect#truly fucked up that i make his journey of self discovery and acceptance about me#but am i supposed to just. accept everything he throws at me without talking about it??#he's constantly taking me off guard and i don't know what is going on in his head of what he's feeling and#i dont know. i dont know#kinda feels like we're drisfting apart and i hate it#i love him so much. but he's not telling me things. and maybe i don't have the right to know everything about it but#feels like im not being treated fairly in a way.#and. there is stuff that ive Known. in some level. for years. which makes me feel like a bad person#as if ive been ignoring all that and wishing for him to be someone he's not#i don't want him to feel like he can't be himself around me i just. wish he'd talk to me about who that person is.#i want to know him and love him as he is#i want to be able to accept every part of him. even the parts that make me uncomfortable because ive been raised to reject that#but it's all so uncertain. i feel like maybe im making assumptions about who he is or what he's going through#and that also sucks#i just. want him to just talk to me.
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