#kinda back now but I'm going to be less active than I was before

[4dkellysworld]

Three Methods on the Path

There are three methods we use to help us on the path so we can realize our Self: 1. Self-surrender - where we surrender completely to God, or to your Self. But that’s hard to do for most people. It sounds easy, but it’s not. It means that you have no life of your own. You surrender completely and totally, everything to God. Totally. Every part of your life goes to God. “Not my will, but Thine.” That’s devotion, bhakti. Again, it sounds easy to some people, but it’s not when you get into it, because it means every decision that you have to make is left up to God. You give your mind to God, totally, completely, absolutely. And that leads you to Self-realization. 2. Mindfulness - Becoming the witness. Watching yourself continuously. Watching your thoughts, watching your actions. Sitting in meditation and watching what goes on in your mind. Not trying to change anything or correct anything. Just observing. Becoming the witness to your thoughts in meditation, and to your actions in the waking state. 3. Self-inquiry - this is the one that I advocate. Asking yourself, “To whom do these troubles come? To whom does this karma come? To whom does this suffering come? It comes to me. Well, what is ‘me’? I am me. Who am I? From where did the I come from?” And following the “I” to its source. You can use any (or all) of those three methods, whatever suits you best. But by all means, do something. Don’t waste your life with frivolities. Work on yourself, if you want to become free. It doesn’t mean you have to give up going to the movies, or going to work, or anything. You give nothing up. You just become aware of what you’re doing. You become a conscious being. You become conscious of your actions. You become loving, compassionate, gentle to all people. You stop watching out for number one. Most of us say, “Number one, I’m number one.” Forget it. That’s how you suffer. That’s ego. It’s hard to understand, when you give up your ego, how you can have a better life, but you do. Try it and you’ll see. When you stop thinking of yourself, and you start thinking on your Self, but yourself becomes Omnipresence, that means you're thinking of everybody else as yourself. So if any human being suffers, you suffer too.

from Silence of the Heart by Robert Adams

[medicinemane]

Man, I'm just kind of dazed today

I woke up yesterday around 9am, didn't do much for the day, went to bed... realized it was too hot to fall asleep (cause my window is broken so I can't open it)

So I got up, filled 3 box with papers as I sorted out the magazines and mail

Then I needed to stay up till after 8am so I could go to the post office to return that bowl. Came back and laid down but... you know when your body just feels wired and you really need to sleep but can't? Probably cause it's pumping out hormones to keep me awake to compensate for me being so tired, that's my guess based on how it feels

Anyway, lay down and kind of drift off with a video in the background, but... I think I was just on the verge of sleep but not able to cross over... like dozing at best

Then I hear Bart making noise and look over and he's acting like he's hunting a mouse, and sure enough he was, so he helps me cup it, and then I go take it to a field outside of town to hopefully live a better life... but clearly wasn't sleeping if I'm doing that

And... I'm still up. I think I'm gonna try and take another crack at sleeping... I hope I can do it. Things do at least feel a bit cooler

But yeah, I'm a mess today, gonna be two days worth of dash to look through whenever I get up, and then I can also respond to the couple messages I've got

But oof... hate feeling like this. The non depressed part of me wants to die just because maybe then I could finally rest

[4m1rz]

Little Tease

Kim Chaehyun x Male Reader

Tags: titjob, couch sex, daddy kink, creampie

"I'll meet you at your place like usual, ok?"

"Sure, no problem bro. Don't be too hopeful that I'll be there today."

That's how the conversation between me, Moon Jiyeon and my friend, Kim Donghoon always goes. Me and Donghoon have been friends since we're in elementary school. Right now, we're both college students and I always go to his house just to hang out after our classes.

It's the end of my class right now. Yeah, if you all are thinking, me and Donghoon aren't in the same classes and we both have different courses; I'm taking the engineering course while he is taking the law course. Also, he's been in the college's student council since last week, so he's been a lot busy nowadays.

As I expected, I got a message from him saying that he wasn't able to hangout with me. I sigh as I have expected that this would happen. However, he still asks me to come to his place and somebody will hang out with me there. I then texted him again, asking who's gonna hang out with me at his place and he answered back with, 'his sister'. The minute I saw the word 'sister', I was dumbfounded.

Apparently, my friend has a little sister named Kim Chaehyun who is a year younger than me and my friend. Back then, when I hung out with Donghoon at his place when we're in elementary school, she was also there. The three of us are basically partners in crime as we all do things together back then.

However, things have not been the same since Chaehyun has been accepted to join SM Entertainment as a trainee. This causes her to be unable to hangout with me and her brother that often. When she was nominated as a member for Kep1er, both me and Donghoon were very ecstatic as the two of us know that she has been working so hard to be able to debut.

One thing that I still remember till this day is that she has once told me that she has a liking towards me when she was 10 and I was 11. Knowing that I'm going to hangout with her and still remember what she said when we're younger, I kinda have a thought of whether she still has a liking towards me or not.

Fast forward to now, I am already at the front door of Donghoon and Chaehyun's place. I ring the doorbell to indicate to the person inside that I have arrived. As I am waiting for the door to open, lots of thoughts come flying around my mind about Chaehyun, such as how she is doing, how she looks nowadays, and other stuff.

Then, I noticed the doorknob start to turn and the door opened. As the door opens, it shows the girl I'm thinking of just now, wearing a white sports bra with a blue shirt shrug and a white skirt. I was amazed with her pretty and sexy appearance with her assets shown, her thick thighs and her big busty tits which made me dazed for a while.

It was until she snapped her fingers in front of my face that made me wake up from it. Gosh, how stupid I was seeing her giggling shyly after that happened.

“Oppa, am I that pretty which makes you dazed just now?” She says that after giggling. The only thing I could do is just scratch the side of my head after hearing her ask. She giggles once more before inviting me to go inside the house.

After entering the house, I immediately sit on the sofa while Chaehyun sits on the armchair on the right. I was about to ask about what she's doing nowadays, but it seems like she beats me to it.

“So oppa, how is your life nowadays? It's definitely a shame that you hang out with my big brother less due to his roles.” She asks. “Well, it's just like that… It really can't be helped about his roles, I don't mind about it though.” I then answer.

Then, I ask her about her activities as an idol in which she answers with the usuals, practice and such. “Ah, I'm such a fool not to serve some treats for you, oppa. Oppa, are you ok with tea and crackers?” She suddenly asks.

After hearing her ask, I just nod to it which makes her go to the kitchen to prepare the food. As I am waiting for her to prepare the treats, I get a message from Donghoon that he might need a few more hours to deal with his work at the college. I was about to tell her that I might be leaving the place when I see Chaehyun bending down to find some kitchenware, I suppose. Surprisingly, her long skirt gets pulled up which shows her pussy.

At that moment, I was dazed a bit and my bulge started to appear from my pants. And with that, I try to distract myself by looking at my phone, trying to forget what I just saw. Without me knowing, Chaehyun is still in the kitchen, having a huge smirk on her face as her plan works.

A few minutes later, she comes back with a teapot full of tea, cups and a tray of plain crackers. She then goes to the opposite side of the coffee table, just right in front of me before putting all of the treats she brought from the kitchen. I was stunned yet again due to seeing her cleavage as she was bending down while putting the treats onto the coffee table.

I start to eat the treats that she had served me once she sits back on the couch beside mine. We both then start to chat about our past lives, how her idol life is at the moment and so on. Suddenly, I had the urge to ask her about what's lingering in my mind.

“You know, I somehow still remember about you having a liking for me…” I state. Her eyes bulge out a little after hearing that statement coming out from me and her cheeks start to redden. I then continued asking, “… so I wonder if you still have that feeling until now?”

After I asked her that question, I could see that her cheeks were fully reddened, which means she was blushing madly. It took quite a while for her to answer my question, just after her naggings on why I brought the topic out.

“Well… ummm… I s-still do… I lik- no, I love you, oppa.” She answers. I was shocked hearing that, which makes me speechless. “My feelings for you have never faded, heck it grew even more.” She continues.

I was in total shock after hearing her answer despite me correctly estimating her answer, but I did not expect that her feelings for me were that deep. In fact, it also shocks me that she said she loves me as I actually start to have feelings for her as well, just a bit later after her confession back then, well, about a year after the confession.

In an instance, I go sit right beside her and grasp her hands which makes her gasp for a bit. “Chae, I know this might sound awkward, but I do also have feelings for you. Well, a bit later after your confession when we were little.” I state it to her. My confession really makes her shocked even more and tears a bit.

“R-Really, oppa?” She asks. I then nod and continue to say more. “It's that, your affection and your attention towards me makes me fall for you.” I then give a peck on her lips which makes her even more stunned and her cheeks become even redder.

“S-So oppa, are we… a couple from n-now?” She asks while still sniffling. I just nodded before holding the side of her head and kissing her lips yet again; this time the kiss was a bit longer. She was yet again stunned at first, but then accepted it and kissed me back. The kiss would then turn into a 5 minutes making out session.

After we pulled away from the make out session, I somehow had the audacity to tease her. “I didn't expect this girl in front of me right now would tease me earlier by showing her bare pussy and cleavage.” I say, while giving a smirk towards her.

However, she surprises me by giving a smirk back towards me despite her flushed red cheeks. “Well oppa, I've planned this already. Donghoon oppa has told me about how you always hang out here, so I might wear this to seduce you.” She replies. “Besides, you love them do you, oppa?” She continues, while jiggling her covered tits.

I couldn't think straight as I was horny as fuck after all of the teasing from her, so I just nodded. This causes her to smirk more before removing the cardigan from her, which then later playing with the hem of the sports bra she's wearing.

“G-Gosh, stop teasing and just let me see your bare tits Chae.” I whine, which she obliges and pulls up her sports bra. This reveals her naked tits in which she jiggles it one more time towards me. I am amazed seeing her topless that lead me to pull down my pants and boxers in a single move which reveals my already hard dick.

“Oh oppa, such a big and hard dick you have. Let Chae help you relieve it, ok?” She says, before kneeling down and putting her hand around my dick before stroking it. I can only groan as she starts stroking my dick. Her hand feels so good all around it.

“Mmmmh, so soft, so good…” I say, to which she smirks even more. “Hehe, wait until what I'm going to do next, oppa.” She says. After a while, she removes her hand from my dick and replaces it with sandwiching my dick between her massive tits. This causes me to groan even more.

“Hehe, I knew it. You would definitely like this, oppa.” She chimes before starting to move her tits up and down, giving me a titfuck. I can only nod and groans coming out from my mouth are a bit louder. This excites her even more to which she licks the top of my dick that is able to emerge from her tits.

“Oh god Chae… You did wonder to me. Keep going, please.” I plead. This causes her smirk to grow even more and speeds up the titfucking. This results in me groaning even more.

After several minutes later, I started to feel that I'm feeling close to cumming. I believe that Chaehyun is also able to feel that I'm getting closer to ejaculation. However, just as I am about to cum, she releases her tits from wrapping around my dick, which causes me to groan in disappointment.

“C-Chae, why did you stop? I'm about to cum, and you know it too!!!” I whine. She giggles seeing my reaction before saying about it. “Oh oppa, I'll let you cum, but not on my tits. I want you to fill my pussy with it, oppa.” Her statement makes me speechless. Just as I want to argue, she talks again. “...and if you worry about getting me pregnant, you don't have to, oppa. Us idols have to take birth control pills frequently to control our hormone levels and stabilize our period dates.”

I still feel a bit skeptical about this, like is she for real? She, a K-POP idol who is also my friend's little sister, wants me to fill her pussy with my cum. My mind still feels clogged after receiving what she just said.

Then, I get from my dazed situation to see Chaehyun pulling down the only clothing she had left, which is the skirt. After that, she walks towards the larger couch and lays on it before spreading her legs, showing me her wet, glistening pussy.

“Come on, just take me right now. I won't be mad, as I also want this for a very long time… Please fuck me oppa, or I guess, daddy…” She persuades me and emphasizes the word daddy. I don't know why, but her calling me daddy brings out the side of mine that I didn't even know existed.

I get onto the same couch she is laying onto, before I stroke my dick and line it with her entrance. “Are you sure you want this, Chae? Won't you regret it later?” I ask her, to which she nods before answering, “...yes daddy, I won't regret this whatsoever as I've been waiting for this. Now please, claim this pussy of mine as yours, daddy.”

And with her approval, I started to push my dick slowly into her pussy. This causes both of us to moan loudly, feeling the sensation. “Oh god Chae… Your pussy feels… so t-tight!!!” I exclaim.

“Mmmmh, yes daddy!!! Your dick feels so… mmmmh… big!!! Please daddy, start thrusting it inside me, make both of us cum!!!” She moans so loudly, I'm afraid the neighbours could hear it. After that, I pull my dick until the tip still remains in her before pushing it back, indicating the start of my thrusts.

Her moans just keep getting out from her mouth as I keep thrusting inside her. “G-Gosh, you moan so loudly, Chae. You really want the neighbours to know, hmm?” I say and ask. That question makes her giggle a little before answers, “...they don't call me… mmmmh… the main vocalist for nothing. Besides, daddy's dick hitting Chae’s spots inside me feels really good!!!”

I chuckle a little as I hear her calling herself Chae, so cute. As I continued thrusting inside her pussy, I couldn't pull my eyes from seeing her massive tits bouncing up and down as I continued with my thrusts. This makes me follow my instinct and put both of my hands onto them and start fondling and groping them, which causes her to moan even more and also whimper a little.

“Mmmmh, that's it daddy!! Fondle Chae's tits, or suck on it, I don't care.” She says. Of course, I won't miss the offer as I removed both of my hands from her tits and replaced it with my mouth, sucking on her two massive mounds, starting with her right tit, then her left. This makes her whimper a lot more.

Several minutes later, I could feel that my dick starts throbbing, indicating that I'm really close to cum. “Chae, I don't think that I could hold any longer, I'm so c-close. You sure you really want me to cum inside, C-Chae?” I state. This causes her to wrap her legs around my back really tightly in an instance, not letting me get away from her leg lock.

“Don't ever think about pulling out, daddy. Chae means it, Chae really wants it. So please, CUM! INSIDE! CHAE’S! PUSSY!!!” Knowing that me trying to fight back is futile and seeing that she's really serious, I just followed her request and after a few more thrusts later, I started to cum deeply inside her pussy. As my cum hits her pussy walls, it triggers her orgasm that causes her to cum all around my dick.

After a couple minutes later, both of us finished and relaxed from our respective orgasmic state. I react first by pulling my flaccid dick out from her pussy before sitting at the other end of the couch. I could see some globs of our mixed cums start to leak out from her. Then, I slowly pull her and make her straddle my lap. Both of us then smile at each other before having a sweet, slow yet passionate make out session.

After both me and Chaehyun finished our make out session, we heard the sound of the front door opening. Both of us turn our heads towards the door and see Donghoon staring at us, which makes us blush in embarrassment. There's also the sense of fear and guilt as I am afraid he will scold me for screwing his little sister. However, instead of anger, he gives us a sneaky grin.

“Hehehe, seems like the ship has finally sailed. Congratulations, you two.” He says. This causes Chaehyun to blush even more while me being confused and distraught. The thing I've had in mind after what he just said is, ‘How long has this bastard been shipping me and his little sister?’

P/S: If someone's been waiting for my fics, sorry for make you guys waiting. Hope you all like this

[wake-me-up-inside-imagines]

Hia! Would you want to write another thing with the yandere jock/ Jason? Maybe smth where he or reader gets jealous of the other?

Sure thing! I'm gonna do him getting jealous because I think that would be more fun, but I'm definitely down to do jealous reader as well, just let me know!

Also, this isn't going to be a fully fledged story like the other Jason one was, this prompt felt more headcannon appropriate in my eyes. Hope you don't mind!

Yandere jock getting jealous over reader

Warnings: yandere character, jealousy, slight stalking, Jason's victim makes reader uncomfy, public embarrassment, Jason beats someone up pretty badly, toxic relationship in the sense that Jason's kinda crazy

Gn! reader

Divider credit goes to @cafekitsune

Yandere! Jason who never has to worry about others trying to take you away from him. Besides the fact that you're madly in love with him, he's attractive, he's quite popular on campus, and he's the star football player of his college's team, for fuck's sake. He's got a stacked reputation at best and a nasty mean streak at worst, so why would he ever assume someone would try to take him away from you? That would be social suicide, the worst thing any one could possibly attempt to do, only someone with half a brain stem would attempt to try that-

At least, he thought.

Yandere! Jason who's proven wrong when he overhears someone asking for your number one day, his ears perking up almost instantly when he notices the person who's now sitting at his table in the restaurant, trying to shimmy up to you flirtatiously while you back away silently. Your attempts to distance yourself from this random stranger are proven futile in front of Jason's eyes, your constant reminders of your disinterest and your current boyfriend doing nothing to deter the person now sitting beside you.

Yandere! Jason who can feel his blood boiling as he walks closer, about to blow a gasket. Who was this random person beside you? Didn't they understand that you were taken, by him of all people, no less? Not only that, but did this person really expect to get away with invading your space without any consequences? Were they truly that dense?

This was not going to fly. This was not going to fly at all.

Yandere! Jason who immediately slams your food down, angerly questioning the person in front of him before they can get a word in edgewise. Who are they? What did they want? Didn't they understand you were taken? Were they craving a fist to their face? Because Jason would be more than happy to make that happen.

Despite his threats, the person bothering you seems undeterred. They back off, throwing half-assed apologies over their shoulder, but Jason can tell they don't mean a word. Jason wants nothing more than to punch them in their stupid face, to beat them to a bloody pulp right there on the restaurant floor, but he's in public and has a reputation to upkeep, and besides, you're there. Normally that wouldn't stop him, but he knows his actions may come back to bite you if people know you were with him at the time, so he keeps himself in check, forcing as much of his anger down as possible as he focuses his energy on making sure you're all right, and then on enjoying eating with you. He will not let this ruin his day, his or yours.

Besides, that should be the end of it, right?

Wrong.

Yandere! Jason who can feel his anger returning full force when a couple days later, you tell him that the person you two had seen at the restaurant had somehow gotten your number, and was now texting you nonstop. You don't know how they got it, you certainly didn't give it to them, a fact Jason knows full well, since he was within earshot of the conversation. A friend must have given it to them, or somehow found it online. Either way, they refused to take no for an answer, and in fact, were actively mocking Jason to your face, promising to treat you far better than he ever could.

Yandere! Jason who can feel himself losing control of his rational as he scrolls through your phone, reading message after message after message. There were way too many to count, all of which ranged from slandering Jason, to proclaiming their love for you, to repeated attempts of asking you out. It's not like the person's complements were wrong, in fact, Jason agreed with every loving word that was sent, but that wasn't the problem! The problem was that you were his, only his, and this person couldn't seem to understand that! Not only that, but they were going so far as to insinuate that Jason was treating you poorly, that he wasn't really a good boyfriend, that he was a cheater, no less.

Jason would never, not on you. He loves you. You knew that!

...Right?

Yandere! Jason would is a little relieved to here your reassurances of trust, that you don't believe a word out of this scumbag's mouth, but he can't shake the insecurities this person had planted in his head. Was he treating you right? What if you secretly hated him? What if they could treat you better than he could? What if they were right?

...No. No. They were wrong, they had to be. He was the best man you would ever be able to find, no one would be able to treat you as well as he did. Nobody.

Yandere! Jason who immediately channels his insecurities into anger, excruciatingly burning anger. How dare they? How dare they do this to you, to him?! They wouldn't get away with this, he wouldn't let them. They'd pay for this, for all of this. All rational was out the widow, they were going to suffer for their actions. He'd make sure of it.

Yandere! Jason who's beyond reason at this point. He asks you for the name of the individual, and you happily provide it, thankful that he's planning on stepping in and stopping this madness. You trust your boyfriend, and with his influence? He'll get this person off your back in no time.

...But you have no idea what lengths he'll go to to get back at this person.

Yandere! Jason who easily tracks down the individual who's been bothering you. It's not hard, there are records of who attends the school after all, and even if they weren't a student of the college (which they were, he checked), he'd be able to find them within the city. There's only so far they can live if they're asking you out in person. He quickly makes a list of all the classes the person takes, and then finds all their social media, all their friends, all their clubs, all their connections. He's gonna need to do some digging if he's gonna get some dirt on them, so he'd better start now.

Yandere! Jason who manages to track down the person on campus fairly quickly, it's not hard when he has a comprehensive schedule to follow. He has no trouble following them from class to a more secluded area, it's not like they'd suspect anything with the sea of people coming to and from classes all across campus.

Yandere! Jason who makes his presence known as soon as their are less people around. He curtly brings them to a secluded area (what are the gonna do? Say no? To him? Yeah right) before immediately questioning them, his anger only rising with every nervous, half-baked answer. He was toying with them of course, he already knew there was nothing they could say to satisfy him, but it was still anger inducing to watch them flounder for an answer, only making things worse for themselves the more that they talked.

If the person he's cornered is a woman, Jason will let them go. He's not really in the habit of beating up women, it's not a great look for him, so he'll allow them to escape his questioning, watching them scurry away like a scared little mouse.

If the person isn't a women though...

They don't get to finish their little interview before Jason is on them, beating the ever-loving shit out of their defenseless body. He's a star football player, a prime athlete, so there's very little one could do to defend themselves from his powerful punches once he's angry enough. All they can really do is shield themselves as best they can, praying that he'll run out of energy before they pass out from the beating their body is taking.

Yandere! Jason who stops when they're just on the cusp of consciousness, backing off as his victim tries to regain their senses. He's done enough to them physically, and he's managed to get his anger out the best he could using his fists, so he turns to walk away, throwing a harsh warning over his shoulder. Nobody else is to know of what just took place, or their will be consequences.

But he's not done yet, oh no. The best part is just about to take place.

Yandere! Jason who has a lot of influence. He knows it, the college knows it, and the person he beat up definitely knows it. So why not use it to his advantage? After all, besides the beat-down, he managed to find a couple interesting pieces of dirt on his victim, and it would be a shame to let them go to waste...

Yandere! Jason who watches as this person's reputation goes down in flames seemingly overnight. All he had to do was let a couple of people know what he found out, mostly his team, and boom! The whole campus has suddenly become aware of this person's creepy tendencies, and just like that, any relationships this person had are flushed down the drain. Nobody wants anything to do with them, actively avoiding that person if possible, and in the most extreme cases, people begin messing with the individual, pushing them around and harassing them whenever they're near. It's an amazing transformation, and Jason revels in the chaos of it all, watching the individuals downfall with a smile.

It's a shame, really. All they had to do was leave you alone.

Yandere! Jason who keeps you completely in the dark about everything that he's done. He doesn't want to scare you off, he doesn't want you seeing the full extent of what he's capable of, and besides, you're already upset enough with all that's gone down. Finding out that the person hitting on you not only didn't care about boundaries, but was also a terrible person is a little bit frightening, to say the least. So he'll focus on comforting you, playing the part of the innocent boyfriend who did nothing more than warn the person off, pretending that everything was fine. This was just what happens when someone comes for what's his.

And it would be fine. he'd make sure of it. You weren't going to leave him, least of all for that low life, so really, everything was ok. It had to be ok. He'd make it ok.

You were meant to be with him, and no one else. You were his.

Only his.

[sol-iscus]

Ambessa.......that's another one that felt personal. Probably because my own mom is kinda like Ambessa in her own right (that rigidity and inability to see past the ultimate endgame). But I really wanted her and Mel to.........not necessarily reconcile, but come to an understanding of each other. They kinda started that a bit in season 1 when Mel confronted her, but then it just fizzled out.

Also,you mean to tell me that Ambessa never actually went looking for Mel herself at any point during her disappearance? She couldn't send someone to find her if she couldn't do it herself? The same Ambessa that said she would set the world ablaze to protect her family? Her son got killed. I would hope she would be a bit more concerned about her last and only child being missing without an explanation or trace.

Then Mel comes back and Ambessa doesn't seem particularly phased by that either. If my kid rolled up mid-battle, after being missing for how long, with powers that I know she didn't have before, I would have the world of questions to ask. Especially if I knew she was more or less an active target for kidnapping because of my own fuckery.

Then the way she went out.........I'm shaking,I'm so mad. It felt like such a cop-out. If she was a casualty of the war she started, it would be ironic but poetic. Or if she and Mel had an actual one vs one fight, it could be very master vs student teas. But the fact that she was essentially lobotomized by LeBlanc before her death.......😬. Don't love the real life implications of that either.

(Something,something, mothers and daughters as wretched mirrors of each other.)

I wholeheartedly agree. I’m also extremely dissatisfied with the way Mel’s arc was handled and everything that you described between Mel and Ambessa, so ima complain about it again.

They gave her a man who was hardly ever there for her. His first reaction to see Mel again was not relief that she was still alive and (relatively) okay. No, it was anger and accusations thrown at her under the assumption she could have saved Viktor when nobody knew Jinx was going to blow up the council. Comforting Mel was a second thought in Jayce’s mind, never first.

Her friend Elora is dead, and seemed to be her only friend as well.

Her mom is now dead, and being killed by her daughter was an absolutely foul way for Ambessa to go out.

When is Mel allowed to have a full breakdown and cry after all she went through? Not just shed a few tears, but fully unleash everything she has felt. Jayce had Mel’s lap to lay on whenever he needed her, but who does Mel have at the end of the day? Absolutely nobody. Nothing but painful memories.

A strong, gorgeous black woman cleaning up everyone else’s mess, being moral support, and helping lead Piltover. She deserved more than a few minutes of shedding tears, she deserved to rage.

[suzukiblu]

excerpt from the one where Tim Drake goes to an alternate reality and decides to get his other self laid via the local Kon's bisexual awakening:

"Hey, remember when you saved my life earlier?" Tim asks. 

"Yeah, kinda," Kon replies in amusement. "Seeing as it was about two point five seconds after you rigged the evil alien robot army to self-destruct and helped save our entire literal reality's life, so I was definitely paying attention." 

"Flatterer," Tim says with a smirk even as he waves him off. The self-destruct function wasn't even that hard to hack, comparatively. That time he'd downloaded Lex Luthor's active IP files from his personal office while the asshole had been on his damn computer–now that'd been tricky. Interdimensional alien invaders barely compare. And the Brainiac incident still gives him stress migraines when he thinks about it for too long. 

Metropolis sucks and Tim frankly has no idea how his own Kon can stand the place.

But like, getting off-topic here. 

"Well, I was gonna say you should let me pay you back for that," he continues. "But since you bring it up I'll also accept a show of gratitude on behalf of your reality, whichever gets you off harder.” 

Kon laughs, because he is apparently adorable enough to have assumed that was a joke. Precious little moron, Tim thinks fondly. 

"You know, you're a lot less uptight than our version of you is," Kon says, grinning down at Tim before flashing Tim's other self a smirk. "No offense, Rob. Dude's clearly just doing more yoga than you or something. Maybe drinking more tea? Taking the occasional bubble bath?" 

"Silly me, if only I'd invested in more bath bombs in my life," Tim's other self says dryly. 

"It's probably my sex life, actually," Tim himself puts in with an easy shrug. Turns out when you stop pretending you don't have a ridiculously high libido and actually just indulge the thing, a lot of life's little annoyances become a lot easier to handle. Go figure. "Plus my boyfriend Bernard is really great, just his entire existence does wonders for my mood in general and he also makes me eat real food on occasion and monitors my caffeine intake much more reliably than I'm capable of doing on my own. The man is a living antidepressant and I don't even mean that in a fucked-up way, he's just that good." 

"Boyfriend?" Kon blinks at him, then puts on another grin. It takes, Tim cannot help but notice, exactly two beats longer than his real grin would've. "Ohhhhh, okay, so the problem is just that you're not getting laid hard enough?" 

"It is not," Tim's other self says dubiously, watching Kon just a little bit warily and obviously worried about his potential reaction to the word "boyfriend". Well, Tim never claimed to be emotionally intelligent about Kon, so no surprise his other self is also a dumbass there. 

"It kinda is, actually," he tells his other self. "I was tracking my cortisol levels the last time I went on a solo away mission and let's just say they were . . . concerning? Like really concerning. Like by the time I got back I was kiiiiind of convinced I was going to need to go on anti-anxiety meds again. But then I jumped my Kon in the Titans Tower med bay instead and that pretty much solved the problem." 

Kon . . . pauses, sort of. Tilts his head. Tim's other self looks a lot warier.

"'Jumped'," Kon repeats carefully. "Like . . . what, you dragged him to the gym to spar or something?" 

"Like I blew his back out so hard that when he came his TTK fritzed out and disassembled my recovery bed," Tim clarifies helpfully. "It really helped with the cortisol levels issue." 

Kon blinks. Tim's other self looks pained, but also desperately envious. Tim would also be desperately envious if their situations were reversed and so does not blame him for said envy in the slightest. 

"I thought you said you had a boyfriend?" Kon says after a moment, sounding a little odd in a very telling way. Or at least very telling to Tim, anyway. 

As is the way that he's not looking at Tim's other self at all anymore. 

"Open relationship," Tim says. "Also Bernard thinks you're stupidly hot and really likes hearing about the kind of stuff you let me do to you. I've actually been debating inviting you over for his birthday so he can watch us live for once but I haven't asked you yet." 

"What, so your Kon is the side chick?" Kon jokes, awkwardly putting on another just barely belated grin. 

"More like my kept boy, functionally speaking, but he's having a 'weird about commitment' phase right now so I've just been making a lot of sugar baby jokes to soften him up," Tim replies with a shrug. It's only sort of been working, but it has been working, and he's willing to take his time on it. It's not fair to expect Kon to only be easy, after all. "Long-term goal is to marry Bernard and ideally get Kon to 'live-in boyfriend' status somewhere in there, but that would also require him not being weird about commitment and also figuring out how well he and Bernard get along in the same space, so we'll just have to see how that one goes." 

"Uh," Kon says. "Why?" 

"Because you are incredibly important to me and also look like a very horny Renaissance sculptor made you out of calacatta marble," Tim tells him matter-of-factly, gesturing meaningfully at him. "Frankly it's criminal that you ever put clothes on."

[wave2tyun]

pillow talk

pairing: taehyun x reader

genre: suggestive?? it's nothing explicit but i wouldn't call it fluff either cause it's just a makeout sbdsbshd

summary: more taehyun brainrot (i'm insane.)

warnings: none<3

word count: 0.6k

a/n: here it is, just as promised!!!!😼😼💖 sorry if it seems like i've been spamming lately- i'm gonna go back to uni in less than a week so i'm kinda trying to make the most out of my free time until then sadbahjb cause i don't know how active i'll be after that :( also this is completely off topic but i JUST found out the game burger shop 3 has been released.........it's downloading right as i'm typing this.....guess i might be busy over the next few hours

his hands were all over you- coming from cradling your hips to stroking down the skin of your thighs, gently gripping the muscle as he further immersed himself in the feeling of your lips on his. he couldn’t get enough of it- having you tangled up in his sheets every night, with no other priority on his mind besides losing yourself in your warm embrace.

parting slightly, you lingered with your lips hanging open, still touching against his, yet not returning to closing the space.

“wanna go slow?”

taehyun’s eyes were still closed as he heavily exhaled, answering you.

“don’t be a tease, sweetheart”

but he waited patiently, caressing the curves of your hips, hair already a ruffled mess. your fingertips traced the outline of his lips slowly, in an almost tantalizing manner.

switching to lean in closer, you pressed a peck so quick it could barely be called a kiss before you nibbled on his lower lip, provoking him further with your tongue as you lightly brushed it over his lips, yet not turning to do anything more.

“just kiss me” he groaned, at which you let out a small laugh.

taehyun felt his cheeks go red, it wasn’t usual for him to act with such transparent greed. his desire was beginning to feel insatiable- it was a struggle to contain it.

“you’re too impatient-” you began to mutter, but taehyun reconnected his lips with yours, kissing you right through your words.

that tenderness of yours- it was such sweet agony feeling you touch him so slow, teasing the fiery longing burning within him. who would have thought that a mere two centimeters could be so maddening?

now that he had convinced you to give in again, he cupped your face, holding you close. his lips moved against yours in a slower rhythm than before, taking his time to feel you, to pleasure you, careful so that you wouldn’t pull away again and leave him hot and heavy chasing after you. he turned further into a mess the more you bit his lips, the more your tongue glided past his, the more he felt the heat of your mouth.

out of breath, you pressed your forehead to his for a few moments before moving to graze his jawline with your lips. you dipped your head down to reach his neck, all while your left hand caressed the skin along his nape, switching between lightly scratching with your nails against his scalp, and tugging at his hair.

the more you nipped at his neck, the more he felt himself becoming slightly feverish; low hums and soft praises escaping whenever you took your time biting down a certain spot.

“fuck- do that again” the words escaped in a mellow tone.

“do you like it?” you asked teasingly, pausing your movements.

“don’t stop” he pleaded urgently. it’s not just that he wanted more- he needed more. he needed to feel you closer, to feel the heat from your lips completely coating his body, settling and nibbling on his bare skin.

“keep going, baby” he urged you on.

his chest heaved underneath you, and you could feel his heart thump in expectation. he couldn’t just stay still, his fingers were brushing over the expanse of your back, roaming around your shoulder blades then down your spine, and coming to settle on your waist underneath your shirt. in a mixture of desire and anticipation, he threw his hair back, releasing a soft sigh- no matter how much your lips brushed over his, no matter how many times you explored his body, he could never cease craving more of your touch.

taglist: @huekalover3000

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 12

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

It was as if some protective membrane had been torn away and everything that he had not let himself feel was exposed behind the rupture.

this is a beautifully written sentence

He had nothing left to hold it back, only this raw, terrible feeling, of being denied family.

it’s interesting how he takes this as being denied family. it’s less of a literal denial, and more of him reckoning with the reality he’s been avoiding for the entire series: his father and kastor were/are incredibly flawed people, and in kastor’s case actively committed/attempted familicide. it’s less the denial of family itself and more the denial of the family he thought he had, and the ideal of family being loyal and dependable. that same disillusionment must have happened to laurent when auguste died and the regent started mistreating him.

In his life, he had known only one parent. His father had been to him a set of ideals, a man he looked up to, and strove to please, a standard against whom he measured himself. Since his father’s death, he had not allowed himself to think or feel anything but determination that he would return, that he would see his home again, and restore himself to the throne.

okay i think i kinda hinted at some mild criticism of king’s rising in my last set of annotations, and a some people agreed in that it seems like she had an editor and was writing to be traditionally published. i think i see that here. i don’t think captive prince or prince’s gambit pacat would have spelled this out here, as clearly as she does. it’s well-written, but also something we could easily understand between the lines. it almost feels less effective this way, although that’s partially because i’m so used to a certain style and approach from the author.

Now he felt as if he stood in front of his father, felt his father’s hand in his hair, as he never would again. He had wanted his father to be proud of him; and had failed him, in the end.

yeah, i’m sorry, but this feels really out of place. both in terms of the writing and the fact that it’s included at all. feels like some editor was like “you need to spell it out for the casual readers who are just interested in the porn if you want the scene to be effective.” the turns of phrase are a little trite and the entire thing just seems so… obvious? maybe i’m being too harsh, but i am curious what others think.

Laurent said, ‘No. I’m not here to—’ He said, ‘I’m just here.’

this is a lovely line. laurent knows damen thinks his presence is a call to action, but wants him to know he’s safe and can just exist. a little bit of a reversal between them.

Laurent, he realised, had guarded his solitude for him. And his people, fearing the fierce, strange foreign prince, had done as Laurent ordered, and stayed out. He was stupidly, profoundly grateful for that.

again with the reversal—similar to what happened after aimeric/nicaise

Before he could, he felt Laurent’s fingers on the back of his neck, a shock of touch that caught him in a tumult of confusion as it drew him forward, simply. It was, from Laurent, slightly awkward; sweet; rare; stiff with obvious inexperience. If he had been offered this as an adult, he couldn’t remember it.

<3 i still think we’re getting a lot spelled out for us, but it’s so lovely here that i don’t mind.

‘Now you are taking advantage of my kind-hearted instincts,’ Laurent said, a murmur into his ear.

:)

He let his lips form a half-smile. ‘You aren’t going to offer me one of your gaudy Veretian handkerchiefs?’ ‘You could use the clothing you’re wearing. It’s about the same size.’ ‘Your poor Veretian sensibilities. All those wrists and ankles.’ ‘And arms and thighs and every other part.’ ‘My father’s dead.’

YEP THIS IS GREAT. love how it takes this swift u-turn away from their usual banter. we know these characters and how they usually speak, so this is effective on its own

The words had a finality to them.

... so we don’t need this! we GET that finality from the way they heavily contrast with the light banter and stop it abruptly with "my father's dead."

His father was buried in Akielos beneath the columned halls of the silent, where the pain and confusion of his last days would never trouble him again.

this might be giving us a little hint of damen almost wanting to be dead himself? in the sense that it would be peaceful, to not have to deal with this bullshit. he hasn't grown up having these kinds of feelings acknowledged so he's unprepared to cope with them now.

‘You thought he was a warmonger. An aggressive, war-hungry king, who invaded your country on the flimsiest of pretexts, hungry for land and the glory of Akielos.’ ‘No,’ said Laurent. ‘We don’t have to do this now.’

laurent doesn’t disagree. the “no” is for “i’m not letting you do this yourself emotionally.” and laurent would know all about torturing himself with harsh realities about dead people during intimate and vulnerable moments, so that’s really saying something

‘A barbarian,’ said Damen, ‘with barbaric ambitions, fit only to rule by the sword. You hated him.’ ‘I hated you,’ said Laurent. ‘I hated you so badly I thought I’d choke on it. If my uncle hadn’t stopped me, I would have killed you. And then you saved my life, and every time I needed you, you were there, and I hated you for that, too.’ ‘I killed your brother.’

this feels a little bit like a summary, but i’ll allow it since they’re having an honest conversation while knowing each other fully for like the first time. do you think this is the chapter that was edited/pitched to publishers first? i don’t know exactly how publishing works, but it does feel just kind of weird

‘What are you doing here?’ Damen said.

i like how we get some insecurity from damen here. we don’t see it often, like this. he is surprised that laurent wants him, even while he is being vulnerable. i’d say it’s a toxic masculinity thing, but in the context of this world it’s more of a toxic royalty thing

Laurent said, ‘I know what it’s like to lose family.’

(as an answer to “what are you doing here?”) i get what this is trying to say, i think. laurent is looking past his anger at damen for auguste and offering him empathy, even though damen caused the tragedy that allows laurent to be empathetic in this case. it still feels… slightly off, though. maybe it’s even the fact that damen asked in the first place. maybe it’s the fact that laurent answered verbally. so much between them has been unspoken thus far, and i don’t see why that needs to change, even though they’re in a more supportive relationship. that can be implicit, too. and that unspoken understanding makes it even more intimate and distinctly Them.

‘Is there no way forward for us?’ said Damen. It just came out. Beside him, he could feel Laurent holding himself very still. ‘You mean, will I come back to your bed for the little time we have left?’ ‘I mean that we hold the centre. We hold everything from Acquitart to Sicyon. Can we not call it a kingdom and rule it together? Am I such a poorer prospect than a Patran princess, or a daughter of the Empire?’

he mentions unification so casually, which is both rewarding to the reader who has been screaming it for chapters but also kind of… annoying? i don’t know, so much of this feels in service of the imminent sex scene. kind of rushed or dumbed down. so much tension has been meticulously built, and they’ve had sex under far less resolved conditions. here it’s almost like there’s a checklist of Things Damen and Laurent Have to Agree On/Share About Themselves Emotionally Before They Can Satisfyingly Fuck For The First Time As Themselves. but like, these bitches are messy. always have been, always will be. and they’ve always BEEN themselves. to just try to quickly resolve and drop the mess feels inconsistent, and makes the execution of the sex less unique and ironically more shallow, maybe

When he made himself look at Laurent, Laurent’s eyes on him were very dark, his voice quiet. ‘How can you trust me, after what your own brother did to you?’ ‘Because he was false,’ said Damen, ‘and you are true. I have never known a truer man.’ He said, into the stillness, ‘I think if I gave you my heart, you would treat it tenderly.’

contrast to what he’s learned about his family—kastor and his father, because the negative things he said about his father as if laurent believes them are also things damen has come to believe.

it’s a sweet line. and kind of insane, given everything laurent has done. but i think it works, because we know damen has been like this about laurent from the start. and we also know its difficult for laurent to believe or accept that anyone would want to trust him with their heart. i wish we could have had this interaction be spoken, but with FAR less of the previous conversation here. start the scene with laurent entering, have them comfort each other physically but unable to speak. or speak around the subject, instead of hitting the nail on the head. then give them this extremely direct moment, and it would be a lot more effective.

listen i’m not saying i’m better or smarter or anything, it is ultimately a matter of taste and i’ve been taking a break from the books. but i have done a VERY CLOSE READING of this series so far, so i feel at least somewhat capable of analyzing it in this way. if that makes sense.

Laurent turned his head, denying Damen his face.

this doesn’t feel like a pacat line. the construction of it does, but i feel like she’d say something far less direct and far more poetic than “denying his face”

Damen could see his breathing. After a moment he said in a low voice, ‘When you make love to me like that, I can’t think.’ ‘Don’t think,’ said Damen. Damen saw the flickering change, the tension, as the words provoked an internal battle. Damen said, ‘Don’t think.’ ‘Don’t,’ said Laurent, ‘toy with me. I—have not the means to—defend against this.’ ‘I don’t toy with you.’ ‘I—’ ‘Don’t think,’ said Damen. ‘Kiss me,’ said Laurent. And then flushed, a rich colour. Don’t think, Damen had said, but Laurent couldn’t do that. Even to sit there after what he had said, he was fighting a battle in his head. The words hung awkwardly, a blurt, but Laurent didn’t take them back, he just waited, his body singing with tension. Instead of leaning in, Damen took Laurent’s hand, brought it towards himself, and kissed his palm, once.

yeah.

He had learned in the course of their one night together to tell when Laurent was taken unawares—taken aback. It wasn’t easy to anticipate, the gaps in Laurent’s experience not mapping to anything that he understood. He felt it now, Laurent’s eyes very dark, uncertain of what he should do. ‘I meant—’ ‘Don’t let you think?’ Laurent didn’t answer.

this is. such an interesting way to bring in previous themes of consent and submission. bc this is by all means consensual, but laurent is almost asking damen to just take what he wants, because his anxiety is so bad that he doesn’t really WANT to be asked what he wants or made to initiate. it's submission willingly given because laurent trusts damen, both in terms of seeing and understanding his weakness here and in taking care of his pleasure. laurent asking outright to not have to be strong in this situation, and trusting damen to treat him well while his guard is down. trusting him with his heart, just as damen has sworn to trust laurent with his.

Laurent’s wariness was not, at this moment, the high walls of the defended citadel. It was that of a man with a portion of his guard down, who was desperately unused to it.

After a moment: ‘At Ravenel, I—it had been a long time since I had—with anyone. I was nervous.’ ‘I know,’ said Damen. ‘There has,’ said Laurent. He stopped. ‘There has only been one other person.’ Softly, ‘I’m a little more experienced than that.’ ‘Yes, that is immediately apparent.’ ‘Is it?’ A little pleased. ‘Yes.’

THIS is lamen dialogue. so much unsaid, and it’s perfect, because we know what it’s all implying.

‘Laurent, I’d never hurt you.’ He heard Laurent’s strange, disbelieving breath, and he realised what he had said. ‘I know,’ said Damen, ‘that I did hurt you.’ Laurent’s motionlessness was careful, even his breathing was careful. He didn’t turn back to look at Damen. ‘I hurt you, Laurent.’ ‘That’s enough, stop,’ said Laurent. ‘It wasn’t right. You were just a boy. You didn’t deserve what happened to you.’ ‘I said that’s enough.’ ‘Is it so hard to hear?’

big moment for damen, realizing he did something to hurt laurent and admitting it. this has been building for a while with his guilt about his father and slavery and everything else akielos stands for. damen has always lied to himself, a lot. he almost treats this scene like a confession.

on the laurent side of things: this is damen admitting he was wrong, but still wanting to be better. i think that confuses laurent, to think that anyone would ever want to treat him well when they’re strong enough to hurt him. also, this is just generally intense for laurent, but he's still here despite his discomfort because he cares about damen.

this entire scene really is just an insane amount of honesty and vulnerability from them both. it's quick to overwhelm laurent, while damen seems to be getting kind of addicted to it and wanting more. which he gets, in more ways than one.

He thought of Auguste, thought how no boy deserved to lose his brother.

interesting line for a guy who ends up almost being murdered by his stepbrother and gets saved by his divorce husband, whose brother he killed, killing his stepbrother

He didn’t understand the forces that moved in Laurent, but some instinct pushed him to say it. ‘My first time, there was a lot of rolling around. I was eager and had no idea what to do. It’s not like Vere, we don’t watch people doing it in public.’ He said, ‘I still get too caught up near the end. I know I forget myself.’

awww :) he’s trying to make him feel less awkward. this is such a setting-transcendent moment. anyone would say something like this, whether in this weird horny semi historical fictional society or any other romance setting. "you're new to this, but so was i. and i still have my flaws."

A silence. It went on too long. He didn’t disturb it, watching the tense line of Laurent’s body.

love the patience here

‘When you kissed me,’ said Laurent, pushing the words out, ‘I liked it. When you took me in your mouth, it was the first time that I had . . . done that.’ He said, ‘I liked it when you—’

he’s so brave for saying this. i’m not being sarcastic. go laurent

Laurent’s reaction to kissing had always been complex: tense; vulnerable; hot. The tension was the greatest part of it, as though this single act was too much for him, too extreme. And yet, he had asked for it. Kiss me.

as always, the way laurent is not a normal romantic interest but still deeply loved and respected narratively makes me feel so happy. gives me hope etc

Don’t think, he’d said, because it was easier than saying, Take me for who I am. He couldn’t bear that suddenly. He wanted it without pretences, without excuses, his fingers curling hard into Laurent’s hair.

love this evolution. damen desperately wants laurent to be here and thinking, and knowing him, and still letting himself want this. again, with the almost addiction to honesty between them. he's getting swept up in it.

‘It’s me,’ said Damen. ‘It’s me, here with you. Say my name.’ ‘Damianos.’ He felt the sundering in Laurent at that, the name an admission, a statement of truth that came out of him, Laurent open to him with nothing to hide behind. He could hear it in Laurent’s voice. Prince-killer.

He wanted it, felt a surge of purely selfish desire as he thought of it, that Laurent knew it was him. That Laurent wanted this with him.

we know. this could have been left out.

It was subsumed, as it had to be, into the act of kissing. His body felt heavy, one form of penetration substituted for another, the tremors in Laurent not that of a single barrier crumbling, but shudders as though one after another were being brought down, each place unexplored, each place deeper than the last. Prince-killer.

so is this kind of meant to conjure the image of damen taking auguste down, right? breaking down defenses, penetration, etc. prince killer as in murderer, but he’s also killing laurent as in like. “lady-killer ;)”

He felt acutely aware that he was half on his back, naked, with Laurent fully clothed, astride, still wearing his polished boots and the high-necked, tightly laced collar of his jacket. It was a sudden, vulnerable fantasy that Laurent might simply get up and wander off, strolling the rooms, or sit in the chair opposite to sip wine with his legs crossed, while Damen was left exposed on the bed.

yeah damen, you WOULD be into that

Laurent didn’t do that. Laurent lifted his hands to his own neck. His eyes on Damen’s, slowly, he took up one of the tight-laced ties at his throat, and drew on it.

the EYE CONTACT!!!

In the dim light, Auguste was between them, sharp as a knife. The scar on his shoulder was the last thing Auguste had done before Damen had killed him. The kiss was like a wound, as if to do it Laurent was impaling himself on that knife. There was an edge of desperation to it, Laurent kissing like he needed it, his fingers clutching, his body unsteady.

it really feels like this should be cut at “wound.” maybe continue with a much more brief “laurent impaled himself.” we can MAKE the connection that it’s like he’s stabbing himself on this figurative thing, but doing it anyway because he wants it. it doesn’t need to be written out, it’s already on the page between the lines! it is SO bizarre to me that pacat's style has changed in this way in seemingly just this one chapter. maybe it's because i stepped away for a while, but honestly i can't see how i couldn't NOT have a sort of sixth sense for recognizing these weird moments given the amount of detail i've put into my analysis and reading. again, your thoughts are definitely appreciated.

He kissed back knowing it hurt him, hurt them both. There was a desperation in both of them, an aching need that could not be filled, and he could feel it in Laurent, the same unconscious striving.

another example of “we don’t need the second the sentence because the first already says it!!” i seriously suspect that this scene was written way more raw at first but an editor was like “you have to make it a lot more clear they both want it/they’re chill with each other over and over again so it’s not too vague”

another alternate explanation could be the chapter's overarching theme of abundant honestly, like almost an overwhelming amount of it, but i still don't think that explains the change in like, craft. there's a difference between characters changing their behavior through development or to make a thematic point, and the narrative itself shifting in how it tells the story. and while damen is kind of going from the extreme of lying to himself about everything to craving this truth, it's still strange to read, and feels like a very intense departure from their previous scenes together.

In a burst of explicit fantasy, he wished Laurent were a pet, or a slave, wished him a body that was not going to require extensive, coaxing preparation before it could be penetrated.

“you like it simple” flashbacks

i think both laurent and damen have moments of wanting this, but ultimately care far more for the more complicated and real parts of their relationship and selves. that was a lot of my chapter 7 analysis re-write. part of what i love about this pairing is that it's really not that much about the sex for them, which is highly ironic given gestures vaguely to the story and world. true intimacy between them has been in their conversations, their little sidequests together and the way they've connected intellectually and emotionally despite literally every odd being against that happening. it's in the way they are equals, and choose to devote themselves mutually, whether it's through despising or adoring each other. anyone can fuck; and especially in this series, almost everyone does. whatever damen and laurent do is wayyy more insane and complicated and interesting and real than that.

He wanted to be inside. He wanted to feel Laurent’s surrender shudder and give way, become total. He wanted no denying that Laurent had let him in, who he had let in. It’s me. His body primed, as though only in one act could this be driven home.

(heads up, i talk pretty explicitly about sexual assault and rape in the following paragraphs)

see, i don’t get how THAT is the ultimate sign of laurent "letting damen in." because anyone could fuck anyone if they’re powerful enough, right? that’s the whole tragedy of laurent, he sees himself as weak because this has been done to him before without his consent. i guess the surrender is in admitting he wants it, which does make sense with how everything has been set up. laurent has been assaulted and harassed and objectified by countless people, but damen is the only one he’s even given enthusiastic consent, so yeah i guess it is the ultimate sign of uhhhh accomplishment, for damen? for lack of a better word. but that still just feels OFF to me. the emotions and the logic of it.

i understand that there is a raw sort of honesty to sex; a body's natural response, fairly disconnected from morality or reason. damen has experienced that for laurent from the very start, and it's gotten him into trouble before. but despite that, he isn't a character who experiences shame about having those feelings, like, ever. the man had sex slaves, after all. he is horny despite the horrors, that's his thing.

i guess where i struggle is in, myself, thinking that the kind of primal sexual honesty here is real or meaningful in the same way the aforementioned emotional and intellectual intimacy are. like, there's something here that just bothers me. maybe it's the way damen is so swept up in the "honesty" of laurent letting himself be fucked, as a totally good and amazing and real thing. i get how damen might feel that way, but it's like, did the regent not also feel those same kinds of feelings, and act on them? if laurent had any kind of bodily response to his own assault, was that bodily honesty his emotional or intellectual truth? is it any different from the bodily honesty damen is appreciating here? this line of thinking is a common way that people convince others that they wanted or deserved their assault. i know damen is like deeply unqualified to understand that, and i know that laurent does want it and damen cares for him deeply, but i guess i almost feel protective of laurent in this moment, with the way damen is thinking during this scene.

all of the terrible people in this series who do so many things without consent, to degrade and disempower others or simply because they think they're entitled to it, are acting on the same primal urges as damen in this scene. what makes damen different from them, the entire reason laurent trusts damen enough to LET him do this, is the fact that damen respects laurent beyond those primal urges, and sees him as a person and not an object. raw sexual desire, by contrast, is just... simple.

i get a little lost here as a reader because, like laurent, i need to intellectualize everything always. i do not like it simple, often to my own detriment, admittedly. it’s hard for me to amend the idea of this like unmitigated desire for sexual honesty/vulnerability with damen genuinely respecting laurent, even though i know he does and that’s literally the entire point, that the two things can coexist and this is romantic and powerful because somehow they do. i can suspend my disbelief while reading this in fiction, but it’s harder to rationalize or understand based on my own experiences, and my knowledge of the real world. trusting another person with vulnerability is horrifying and the series knows it, but is trying to offer a strong rebuttal in the way damen and laurent love each other.

maybe it's just that in this scene, i'm not totally sold. or something.

‘Do it, I told you, I don’t care—’

there is a little part of me that’s like “uh is this what a person who really wants to be doing this would say??” but also i know damn well that i'm projecting so go off king i guess????

maybe i would have been more satisfied by this scene if damen did not fuck laurent here and now. i don't know. this analysis is poor, unobjective, confused and hypocritical. but i'm not struggling with it in a fun or enriching way, like with chapter 7, it just makes me feel kinda bad. so i'm pushing through.

He was inside Laurent. It felt raw and unprotected. He had never felt more like himself: Laurent had let him inside, knowing who he was.

yes. WE KNOW.

Damen’s grip, still oiled, was wrapped around the hottest, most honest part of Laurent.

“most honest part” yeah that pretty much sums up what makes me weird about this scene. the way damen DELIGHTS in the primal honesty of it all, beneath laurent’s carefully constructed defenses. i guess just, its been so nice reading damen being so respectful of laurent’s hesitations and boundaries, and therefore falling for his personality and intellect and genuinely growing to understand and respect him without the promise of submission or sex, so the framing of this being damen finally getting what he REALLY wanted from laurent the whole time is… kind of rough to read. like oh, this is REALLY intimacy. this is the height of it. but it's not. like, at all.

damen is not me, and i get that. but in previous times where damen has done shit i've felt weird about, i've never felt like the narrative has been poking at me to approve of it or feel positive catharsis. but this entire scene is so heavily written to be this great moment of celebration and positive catharsis, for protagonist and reader alike. but what are we even celebrating here? we're celebrating the honesty between damen and laurent about their identities, and the fact that they support each other anyway. given how much baggage they both have about sex, i almost feel like it would be a more effective scene if they DIDN'T fuck. like, laurent just hugging damen was beautiful. that kind of simple comfort, not inherently sexual, was unusual to damen. and therefore impactful. but noooo, the sex is supposed to be the pinnacle, and we made the way for it with some weirdly written overly explanatory dialogue shoved at the start of the scene. to be fair, damen does literally say, 'I still get too caught up near the end. I know I forget myself.’ which is kind of what I've just described happening.

i just don't think i am where the book wants me to be, with how i react to that. it's an odd feeling. i feel like everyone is going to read this and be like "wow she has issues, she's insane, you're supposed to like that he forgets himself and is consumed by his desires." but oh well. i usually don't enjoy the romance genre for a reason.

this series really does challenge my own ability to let simple desire coexist with the proven need to be highly intentional and thoughtful in caring about/interacting with others. it’s hard for me to believe those two things can be in harmony—that you can be honest and vulnerable, and not either be hurting someone, getting hurt by someone, enabling someone else’s self-harm, or hurting yourself.

i suppose some of the catharsis of this scene is that laurent and damen are doing this together, KNOWING they have hurt each other. that they will always have that between them, yet also knowing and trusting that they can and will treat each other well.

it’s just hard for me to see that as anything other than fantasy. it's not honest, it's not real, in the way i've come to understand those concepts both in my personal ethos and the ethos of the series. so this entire scene built around honesty as a theme just kind of falls flat. it’s tragic, really, that damen is so happy about this apparent truth between them when he is unaware of the very blatant and relevant reality of laurent’s history with sexual assault. it’s a powerful scene, but not for the reasons damen thinks it’s powerful. maybe pacat meant for that to be the case, maybe she didn’t, maybe editing made it weird. who knows.

but it is, as i’ve said in previous chapter analysis posts, a nice fantasy. i'm glad if it hits for other readers, and i respect that cs pacat put it here for a reason. maybe someday i'll re-read it and react differently.

[silverskye13]

Silver I know next to nothing about the alien franchise and movie, I am giving you full permission to use this ask as an opportunity to spread propaganda to get me (and anyone else) to finally watch it

So it's, so like, the thing is, right. I'm not a movie tech kinda person [though it is technically impressive, the funny little tricks they did, like not having the budget for a Big Space Ship Derelict so they are a scaled down model that the director's kids in space suits walked up to so it would look bigger, and it was shown to the audience on a shitty CCTV because they didn't do a big matte painting of the set they filmed the tiny one, projected it onto a wall, and then filmed that.] So my rant isn't going to be about how technologically cool the movie was for 1979 on a less than optimal budget. But what I do like, what I excel at, is breaking down themes and tropes. And my god. My god. Just. Ugh. [Flails my arms.]

So a basic rundown for the movie, spoilers ahead, and my analysis of how fucking cool it is:

Basic gist of the movie: The crew of the commercial mining vessel Nostromo are awoken halfway through their trip back to earth by a mysterious signal, calling for help on a far away planet. Upon going down to investigate, one of their crew members is attacked by a strange alien parasite which attaches to his face. This kicks off a tale of increasing horror as the new alien kills off the crew one by one, culminating in Ripley [the main character] blowing up the ship and fleeing in an escape pod, not sure if she'll ever be picked up in the vastness of space -- with the ships cat, who miraculously also survives. [We all know Jonesy is the real main character 💜.] Along the way a plot by the Weyland-Utani corporation is revealed, one of the crew is discovered to be an android, and there is a lot of alien screeching.

Now! The themes that I go absolutely feral over can commence.

The horror of the movie, the reason why the alien is scary, and lethal to humans specifically, is it is a creature built for efficient survival, and this is a trait that Ash, the ship's science officer [and resident hiding android] highly praises in the critter. He describes it as beautiful, elegant, pure in its efficiency. The perfect organism. Efficient.

Humans, by comparison, aren't efficient. We are social. And efficiency preys on social needs. For example:

The xenomorph eggs can survive for ages [in the derelict they're found on, the dead alien who drove the ship is described as fossilized. These eggs have been here for thousands of years. But they activate immediately when a curious human pokes around them. It isn't a fast process. Kane is poking around for a few minutes, looking at the movements of the creatures in their eggs, making observations. Curious. Curiosity is an inefficient trait -- he would have survived if he had climbed out of the hole the eggs were in and left, or even waited for the rest of his team to enact quarantine and investigation procedures.

Speaking of quarantine! When Dallas and Lambert bring Kane, newly infected by an alien parasite, back to the ship, Ripley locks them in the airlock. There are quarantine procedures. We can't risk the whole crew. But they are scared for Kane's safety. He might die without help. They break quarantine. If they hadn't broken quarantine, the baby alien would've been born in the airlock, where it would get spaced the moment it was born.

When the face hugger parasite dies and Kane seems to return to normal, what they should have done to attempt to reinstate quarantine was put him in hyper sleep. His body would have been frozen in a stasis which might have frozen the parasite or, if it hadn't, would have left the new baby alien trapped in a stasis pod. But Kane, haggard and scared from his ordeal, asks can we please have one more meal together before I go to sleep? And that one meal is long enough for the new xenomorph to be born, and release terror on the ship.

There is more. Parker would have lived if he hadn't gone to find the cat by himself, leaving the safety of his group. Dallas would have lived if he let Ripley go through the vents, but he was the captain and he didn't want to risk someone else's life so he went instead. Brett would have lived if he'd left Lambert behind when she was being attacked, or if he'd hit the xenomorph with the flamethrower instead of insisting Lambert get out of the way first. And Lambert would have lived if she'd run instead of being paralyzed in fear by the creature killing her friends. And the xenomorph? Wasn't even eating it's kills. No gore. Little blood. It was killing them because it knew they would kill it, and it was neutralizing threats. Efficient.

The xenomorph is very clearly engineered for survival, and it's survival depends on killing the inefficient organisms around it. Even it's acid blood is described as a survival mechanism, not an offensive mechanism.

Okay Skye, we hear you talking about how scary the critter is because it's not a social creature. That's an interesting observation, but it's still just a monster story, right?

Well, let me tell you an alternative story. Just a little to the left of the original, but one I would argue is still very very canon.

You are an android built by Weyland-Utani, a company which is jealously hunting alien tech to use for its many space programs. You are placed on the Nostromo because there is a known anomaly in the area, and they want to find it. Your job is to get a specimen back to the company, all other protocols expended.

You are programmed to be efficient, so you get to work.

You wake the crew when you find the signal. You give them only the information they need to investigate: it is a signal that repeats every 12 seconds. You let them make the conclusion it is an SOS. Humans are social creatures. They want to help other social creatures in need. There is some arguing about whether they should go, but in the end an extra push from you sends them. Ripley, one of the more efficient members of the crew, keeps asking you why you haven't decoded the message.

"Mother [the super computer running the ship] is still working on it." This is true. She has only translated part of the signal. By the time Ripley realizes it's a warning, the crew is already on the way to the derelict. You tell her if she walks out there, they will have already figured out if it's a warning or not by the time she makes it to them. She agrees.

When they return with a specimen, Ripley [efficient, following protocol] doesn't want to let them on. But Ripley doesn't know you're an android, so when you break quarantine, and you tell her you just wanted Kane to be safe, she begrudgingly believes you.

When the alien is loose, it is easy for you to keep them from killing it. Humans are social, inefficient creatures, and you feel no empathy for their deaths. You do pity them though. Between you and the alien, their chances of survival are slim.

If only they were more efficient.

The horror in Alien is not the xenomorph. The horror in Alien is when anything, primal creatures, androids, a particularly greedy corporation, preys on human social needs in order to get what it wants. There is significance in that Ripley, despite everything, chose to save the cat. She needed companionship. All humans do. She needed to save that cat. A cat that was cantankerous and mean, and hissed whenever it was held, was better than the cold efficiency of empty space.

Any system that prioritizes absolute efficiency will be inhospitable to human life.

[dfortrafalgar]

I'm Losing You

Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem.

Warnings: READ CHAPTER 1 FOR WARNINGS. This is the last chapter before shit starts getting real

Taglist: @phsycochan | @mirillua

Chapter 5

[Prev] [Next]

Law’s work schedule kept him on his toes which he usually didn’t mind, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t just the slightest bit disappointed at having to miss the big announcement to Penguin and Shachi.  You reassured your husband, however, and promised to send him the perfect video of the scene so he could view it on his down time at the hospital.

You moved two large, opaque containers on the kitchen counter in such a way that your phone could stand up against them, having them parted just enough so your camera could view the room from in between the jars.  You faced the camera towards the kitchen table, where you had set up the chairs similar to an intense job interview.  You had texted the two men in the morning to drop by your apartment at exactly noon without explaining why, and you started recording at 11:59.

The two men knocked at 12:01.  Bepo barked once, a deep, bellowing boof that was less of a threatening display and more of an invitation to come in as long as he could immediately get scratched between the ears.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm your nerves, you briskly paced to the door and pulled it open, smiling at your two friends.  Bepo forced himself between your legs, excited to greet his dog uncles.

“Hey, happy Sunday!” announced Penguin, pulling you in for a hug as if he hadn’t seen you in months.  You laughed, hugging him back.

“Come in, sit at the table,” you ushered, quickly closing the door behind them.  Bepo followed the two men directly on their heels until they sat at the kitchen table.

You sat directly across from them and folded your hands, resting them on the table.  You stared at Shachi, then at Penguin, then at Bepo’s beady eyes trying to peer over the top of the table.

The silence was palpable, but you were barely containing your smile.  

You had just opened your mouth to make the announcement when Shachi’s brown eyes went wide and he uttered, “You’re pregnant.”

Penguin stood up in a startled bolt.  “WHAT?!”

“Shachi!  I wanted to say it!” you chastised, but you really couldn’t care less.  The excitement of even being able to tell your friends that, after countless months of trying to conceive, you had finally done it.  “But, yes, I’m pregnant.”  Your smile was all teeth, your eyes creasing.  You were truly elated.

Shachi sprinted from around the table to scoop you into a hug.  Penguin followed suit, squeezing you in between them as he cheered for you.

“I’m so happy for you, seriously so happy!” Penguin announced, his own smile reaching his eyes.  “Oh my god, are we going to be uncles?”

You nodded.  “Uncle Shachi and Uncle Penguin.”

Shachi squealed, a sound akin to a school girl getting a love letter from her crush.  “We’re going to be uncles!  Uncles, Penguin!”

“You know,” Penguin began, finally releasing you from his embrace.  “I always thought that pregnancy announcements were kinda weird, like, ‘Hey, we fucked and procreated!  Get hype!’  But now I can see why it’s so exciting.”

You felt your face warm with his words, but there was barely anything to hide from the two of them.  Hell, back in your undergrad days Shachi walked in on you and Law actively having sex.  Playing naive to the situation was simply juvenile.

Shachi was laughing.  “Holy shit, this is seriously incredible.  Do you know how far along you are?”

You shook your head.  “Honestly, no.  I can guess no more than four weeks, but I had to call my doctor again to inform them and get a quicker appointment, so I’ll find out more next week!”

The three of you, much to Bepo’s relief, settled down after that.  You sneakily grabbed your phone from the counter, ending the video with a smirk, excited to send it to Law.  Sitting back down, you began discussing the logistics of the matter.

“Trust me, Law and I have been thoroughly prepared for the day this might happen.  He has a plan in place for every possible situation,” you explained.  “If you want proof, I can get his notebook.”

The two men shook their heads in rapid succession.

“I believe you one hundred percent,” muttered Penguin.  “That sounds like Law, all right.”

You laughed.  “It’s definitely odd, but it makes me feel a lot better.  I know at least one of us is at least slightly prepared for any potential situation.  He has an entire page dedicated to our genetic history.”

Shachi snorted.  “Are you serious?”

You nodded confidently.  “Dead serious.”

Penguin leaned forward on his elbows, genuinely interested.  “Any horrific genetic mutations?”

“A 25% chance of colorblindness if we have a son.  How horrifying!” you stated, joking sarcastically at the prospect of a colorblind child, which, obviously, would not be life ruining at all.

Shachi scratched his chin.  “Did Law get genetic testing?  Considering, you know, the whole orphan thing.”

You nodded once more.  “He actually got genetic testing a few years ago.  He wanted to know if he was predisposed to degenerative diseases, so he got an entire genetic evaluation done.”

“He did that just because?”

“Yup.”

Penguin groaned.  “That guy is so fucking weird sometimes.”

You chuckled.  “He might be, but clearly having that information makes him a bit more secure!  And at least we know he’s unlikely to develop muscle or neural degeneration when he gets old.”

“He’s rubbing off on you,” Shachi muttered.

“That’s what happens when you’re married to a doctor,” you groaned back.

Your conversation carried on for well over an hour, jumping from your pregnancy to the latest college basketball game that, according to Shachi, ended in an ‘upset so bad I swore I pissed my pants.’  The afternoon was flying by, and for the first time in months, you truly felt happy.

—

Law took a long sip of his lukewarm coffee as he hunched over his desk, computer in front of him with a long report only halfway done with being written.  Earlier in the day, his unit had dispatched a child to the nearby children’s hospital with catecholaminergic polymorphic ventricular tachycardia that lead to near-heart failure, and, due to the fact that his hospital’s cardiology ward had yet to see such a case, Law was left to write the report.

His fingers were quickly starting to cramp up as his eyes consistently glazed over the words ‘adrenaline induced arrhythmia.’  He could almost feel himself start to nod off until his phone buzzed beside him.  His face immediately lifted when his screen illuminated with your name and an incoming text message.

Wifey

Telling them went well, Im sending the video!  Miss you, see you later tonight!!!

Wifey

Also, let me know if you want something for dinner, Im not in the mood to cook but I can get takeout for when you get home

Wifey

[One new Video message]

Wifey

Also, can you stop by the pharmacy and grab a small bottle of toilet cleaner on your way back???  Thank you, I love you!!! <333

Law smiled, reaching for his phone and unlocking it to open his texts and view the recording.  His grin never ceased as he watched Shachi and Penguin, his two best friends since childhood, embrace you in pure excitement as you announced the incredible news.  He truly felt so lucky to have those two in his life and have them welcome his wife into their little family as easily as they had done to Law all those years ago.  Seeing the three of them interact made it seem like they had also been friends since 13 years old.

“Law, how’s that report coming along?”  A sudden voice behind him made him close his phone and lay it face-down on the desk.

“Hey, Chopper, it’s… it’s going,” Law responded blankly.  

The younger doctor, Dr. Tony, pulled up a seat alongside Law to scan the very rough draft of his colleague’s report.  The kid (relative to Law’s self-described ‘ancient age’) was a genius by definition, whizzing through medical school at the top of his class and joining Law’s cardiology ward on his rotation before finally graduating residency and joining his unit as a permanent member.  While he wasn’t a surgeon like Law was, he was an incredible asset in terms of diagnosing and effectively treating the various ailments presented to their team.  The young doctor was a hidden master with pharmaceuticals, but liked treating patients in-person more than standing behind a lab counter compounding pills.

Law still had no idea where he got the nickname ‘Chopper’ from, however.  He didn’t even know his real name, that wasn’t his surname ‘Tony.’  Oh well, topic for another time.

“Hey, are there any definitive studies about the percentage of children diagnosed with CPVT?” Chopper asked, pulling Law’s attention away from his own thoughts.  “It’s quite troubling that that child was rapidly approaching heart failure.  You said he hadn’t been diagnosed formally with that disease until today, right?”

“That’s right,” Law clarified.  “It’s thought to be an inherited cardiac disorder, passed down genetically.  My theory is that all of that child’s former experience with exercise was chalked up to asthma or something similar, until it was almost too late.”  Law’s voice was always so calm and collected, despite discussing the near-death experience of a child no older than 10.  In his mind, dealing with the lives and deaths of patients was part of the job.

Chopper hummed, his eyebrows knitted with concern.  “Poor thing, I’m happy he was sent to the children’s hospital, though.  They have much better medicine for him there.”

“Agreed,” Law replied, nodding his head.

“Anyway,” Chopper piped up.  “I came by to see if you wanted something from the break room.  I’m getting a protein bar.”

Law tossed a faint smile to his colleague.  “Sure, I’ll have those unsalted pretzels.”

“Unsalted?” the younger man asked.

“Unsalted,” Law affirmed.

Any passing comment about how truly strange Law could be on occasion was brushed aside as Chopper left the small office area and proceeded to the break room for the aforementioned snacks.  Law was still pretty tired, but he hoped the light refreshment would help him power through the rest of his shift so he could go home and cuddle with you in his warm bed.

His eyes glanced over his report once more before opening a new tab on the computer and filing through the hospital’s research database.  He bit the inside of his cheek, reading a few abstracts about the rare condition.  He ran through his memory of his own genetic testing, as well as the genetic testing he had you do in the genealogy clinic before starting to try to conceive.  Neither of you had preexisting or a predisposed risk of heart conditions, which was one of Law’s biggest concerns.  Although he could breathe a sigh of relief in that aspect, he had a nagging feeling in his gut that something wasn’t quite right.

[mcwonaldsemployee]

so I rewatched the gunntech au video by elmushterri and I had an idea for an OC and decided that posting it was a good idea

ik the art isn't that good but I wanted to give an idea of how she looks to go with the oc backstory

ok anyway meet Mariana Joslyn. Her name was originally Annabeth or "Beth", but she ended up changing it. She was one of GunnTech's earlier experiments, because I assume Grayson wouldn't have risked Greg as one of the first experiments (at least earlier/pre-series Grayson). As you can imagine, the earlier experiments didn't go too well. As an example, Mariana/Annabeth was meant to be combined with a chameleon, and while she did get most of the desired traits (camouflage, panoramic view, etc.) she also had these like glitch-attacks where she like, glitches out, and like kinda lost her mind during them??? I also imagine she's able to change her hair colour, skin colour, and eye colour. idk, I just know that they screwed up, dumped her on the side of the road, and told Grayson she'd gotten herself killed in one of her episodes. Her meltdowns became less frequent because she was in a less stressful environment, and during the like 2-month period after getting left on the side of the road she kinda became like a toned down Nori. By that I mean she was still like messing with GunnTech, but not actively breaking out trainees in the dead of night. Like, if she saw one of their vehicles, she'd pop the tire, break a window, etc or something like that. I feel like she'd have called herself Entropy (mainly because I thought it sounded cool and also worked with the chaotic outbursts). Anyway, she eventually realized that she kinda needs to make a living so she just focused on that instead of screwing with GunnTech after that. Timeskip, now she's a broadway star/musician/actor!!!!!!! She's really sweet and generally kind-hearted, but she's not without her flaws. Transitioning from one toxic workspace (gunntech) to another (the acting industry) definitely made her need to adapt. Because of this, despite usually having good intentions, she's not exactly above using and manipulating people. Additionally, she has a fear of being yelled at because of... you guessed it, the scientists at gunntech. As for how she'd play a role in the story... I don't really think she would. I mean, maybe after GunnTech was abolished she'd give the protagonists some money because their parents/guardians are probably in jail now. I guess if she were to be an important character she'd move back to wherever this takes place and start working with Nori to break kids out or something. Even then, I doubt she'd appear in more than a few scenes or mentioned more than a few times. Maybe Greg met her before she got abandoned on the curb, but she probably still wouldn't end up being that important of a character. She's still pretty young by the time the show would take place... probably like around twenty-three? Early twenties? Anyway, I'm over-sharing. Bye-bye now

(i have some other ideas for other earlier experiments, and some headcanons. should I share em?)

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Skinny dipping on death's door

Barbie dolls: Peeta Mellark x gn!reader

Word: 2.7k

Summary: you skinny dip with the other tributes during the 75th games and peeta finds it rlly rlly attractive and you give him a quick handy

Warning: semi public sexual activities, handies underwater, public nudity, recorded sex kinda, peeta had his leg bc WE WERE ROBBED GOD DAMNIT, I wasn't sure if his one in the book was water proof or the details Abt it so I just decided he's not sure either so he takes it off before going in the water, mentioned that ppl think you guys are pregnant but idk maybe it's a/b/o or maybe peeta is trans now idk I don't care I'm just telling you now warning there's deception, you mock peeta just for a second also biting stuff, praise, mentions of death (it's the hunger games so), yeah I mean that's like it dude

You watched as Finnick flopped himself into the sand near you. He tossed his trident to the side, kicking his legs out in front of him. You looked over him, watching Johanna and BeeTee sit in silence next to each other a few feet away from you. 

“Ocean’s lovely, isn’t it?” Finicky asked, dragging your attention back to him. You raised an eyebrow. It was probably the most hollow thing you’ve heard come out of his mouth since you stepped foot in the 75th Games. He said dumb things all the time but they usually had a purpose. Like a bad joke to lighten the mood, or a quip to tick you off for his enjoyment. Never something so purposeless. Still, you entertained him. 

“Yeah. It’s nice.” You answered, looking out to the water lapping at the sand just a few inches from your feet. Finnick looked around you at Peeta next to you. Peeta had leaned back onto his elbows with his chin pointed up to the sky. You thought it’d be uncomfortable but it was hot so you didn’t mention it to Peeta. 

“Hm, what about you Pete?” Finnick asked. Peeta peeked one eye open and sat up straight. You gave Finnick a quick glare, before looking back at the water. He distracted Peeta and made him sit up. Peeta shrugged. 

“Odd time for a swim,” Finnick whispered. You hummed in agreement before slipping your hand up to Peeta’s face. You covered his eyes as Johanna finally reached waters up to her knees. She flopped down into the water, finally covering her body with the waves. You dropped your hand from Peeta’s face. Johanna noticed the confused stares. She threw her arms up in the air. 

“Yeah, I mean it’s water. I quite like water.” Peeta said. He was just as confused as you were then because that answer was atrocious. Finnick hummed, looking out at the crashing waves. Peeta’s hand slipped to your side, rubbing at your hip. You glanced at him and gave him a quick smile. Peeta leaned closer to you. He pulled your arm to his chest and dropped his cheek to your shoulder.

You looked up when Johanna stood up from the sand. She dropped her axe to the sand and started walking towards the water. As she made her way for the waves, her hands traveled to her back and pulled at the zipper of her suit. Johanna slipped out of her suit when she reached the edge of the water. Her clothes started to pile at her feet as she slipped out of them. You were getting flashbacks to the elevator. You, Finnick, and Peeta all stared at her in confusion as she waltzed into the ocean bare ass naked. Finnick smacked his mouth. 

“No one is going to join me? I won’t bite.” She yelled. You hummed. Peeta lifted his head from your shoulder. Finnick stayed silent. Johanna raised a brow. 

“Unless you want me to.” She added. You thought for a moment. The entire Panem probably had their eyes on you right now. Not to mention all of your current friends, who you will later have to kill but that’s not the point. You also considered the thought that you’ll soon be dead in probably less than a week and your embarrassment around revealing your naked body to all of Panem disappeared. You stood up, making Peeta look up at you. 

“I’ll join you.” You said to Johanna. You slipped out of your suit, leaving all of your possessions in a heap next to Johanna’s on the sand. As you waded out into the water you heard Finnick whistle. You knew deep down he was joking. In the same way, you promise to treat your friends better than their current boyfriend. You held a particular finger up at Finnick, making him laugh. You joined Johanna under the water, letting the waves kiss your chin. 

“Interesting you decide to join me after I promise to bite you.” Johanna joked, her smile tweaking up a notch. You shrugged. 

“Remembered I’ll be dead in a few days and I could care less.” Johanna hummed. You looked out towards the beach. Finnick was sat in his same spot though now he had an amused grin for your ‘joke’ still lingering in the air. BeeTee was still sitting on his wire, fiddling with a stick. You wondered what he was brewing in his mind but decided it wasn’t really any of your business.  You looked over to Peeta to find him staring directly at you. You tilted your head to the side in confusion. Peeta flung himself backward, pretending to be dead. You snorted and dunked your head under the water. 

When you resurfaced, you saw Johanna gesturing for Finnick to join you two. You saw Peeta had sat up, looking at Finnick to see if he’d get up. Finnick and Peeta shared a few words before standing up. You smiled when you saw them stopping at you and Johanna’s piles of clothes to add their own. Peeta had to ditch his prosthetic, leaning on Finnick to help him into the water. Once he was waist-high in the water, he was just fine. Peeta made his way towards you and you moved slightly closer to the edge of the water. You knew he couldn’t swim so you moved towards the area he could touch the sand with no problems. Peeta stood in front of you, smiling at you. You returned the look, though you weren’t sure why you were smiling. Peeta knocked his nose with yours. You hummed. 

“No leg for you?” You asked. Peeta hummed. “You’ve already been in the water with it?” Peeta pulled back slightly, giving you a light shrug. 

“It’s heavy. I didn’t want to risk it not being fully waterproof. I don’t know how long you’ll want to be in here for.” He answered. Your smile grew at the thought of him staying in the water longer than he really wanted to so he could spend more time with you. You hummed. Peeta’s eyes flickered from yours to your smile. 

“We should probably go over towards Johanna and Finnick.” You glanced over at them. Finnick was on his back, spitting water into the air like a fountain. Johanna was repeatedly splashing him. Finnick didn’t seem to care, his arms out from his sides like he was making a snow angel in the water. You looked back at Peeta to see him staring at your face with all the seriousness you could imagine. You raised a brow at him, humming in question. 

“We should make out. Right now.” You snorted at Peeta. You reached up and pushed his face away. 

“Horn-dog.” You muttered. You looked back at Johanna and Finnick to find Johanna trying to drown Finnick. Finnick splashed at her face, making her laugh and release her grip on his body. Finnick pulled his head away from the water and shook his hair out. You turned back to Peeta. He kept his eyes on you. 

“Am I really a horn-dog? Or did I just watch the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen walk down a beach naked?” Peeta asked, still staring at your mouth. You swam just a smidgen closer to him. 

“Who, Finnick?” You joked, a smile playing on your lips that you knew was the only thing Peeta was thinking about. Peeta shook his head. “Well you’re lucky BeeTee didn’t join us, otherwise you definitely would’ve fainted.” You said. Peeta leaned his head closer towards yours, eyes still glued on your lips. 

“Stop. Talking about other people naked right now. I need-“ He dipped his head towards yours and pressed your lips together. You hummed into his mouth, pulling him closer by the back of his neck. Peeta swiped his tongue across your bottom lip. You opened your mouth for him, letting his tongue join yours. You slipped your hand away from his neck, dipping it under the water. You dragged your hand down his chest before stopping it at his hip. You pulled back from Peeta’s lips, staring into his eyes. He glanced around the water as your hand inched further down very slowly. 

“The cameras,” Peeta whispered. You nodded. 

“Can’t see underwater. So just control yourself from the neck up and you’ll be fine. “ You answered. Peeta chewed on his bottom lip. You pulled your hand away from his hip and held onto his bicep instead. 

“Unless you don’t want to, then we can just chill here for a few minutes before joining Johanna and Finnick.” You added, sensing his tension. You weren’t going to push him even if you both were knocking on Death’s door. Peeta shook his head. 

“No, no I want to. Just nervous. Especially with the onlookers. What if they catch us?” Peeta said, taking a step closer towards you in the water. You shrugged. 

“Well, they already think we’re pregnant right? They have to be at least a little educated on how something like that falls into place. Right?” You said. Peeta seemed to consider this, glancing over his shoulder again. 

“Plus we’re going to die in a couple of days anyway,” Peeta added. 

“And we’re going to die.” You agreed. Peeta let out a huff and met your eyes. 

“Are we really about to make a porno for the capital?” Peeta asked. You grimaced at the thought of a capitol citizen shoving their hands down their pants when they watch the reruns. That thought washed away from you when you felt Peeta’s skin pressed against yours. 

“Only if you want to.” You said, slipping your hand from his bicep. Peeta nodded. 

“I just want you. I can’t really think about the cameras or capital when your hands are wandering on my body.” Peeta whispered. You nodded and tilted your head towards his. You pressed your lips against his. You let your hand meet his hip again. You slipped it down to his length, gripping him. Peeta sucked in a breath as he pulled away from your mouth. You slowly dragged your hand down his length before pulling it up again. Peeta left his mouth hanging open as you swipe your thumb over his tip. You reached your other hand up, pressing a finger under his chin. You gently closed his mouth. Peeta clenched his jaw and pressed his forehead against yours. 

“This is harder than I thought it was,” Peeta whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. You would’ve laughed if you didn’t think that would draw attention to you two. You whined mockingly. 

“Oh, baby. I’ve barely even started.” You said. Peeta dropped his head against your shoulder, sucking in a deep breath as your hand-picked up its pace. 

“Oh don’t be mean to me, I might moan and draw all eyes to us,” Peeta whispered. You snorted and dropped your free hand into the water. You found his balls and massaged them as your other hand continued to drag against his length. Peeta pulled back from you, keeping his eyes closed. He dug his teeth into his lip to hold back his moans. You leaned forward and gently kissed the edge of his mouth. 

“You’re doing so good at staying quiet. Hm?” You whispered. Peeta’s eyes opened and he let out a quiet groan. You glanced at Finnick and Johanna to see if they picked it up. They were deep in conversation and apparently too far to hear it. You hummed. 

“What was that about you moaning too loud if I was mean to you? Seems to me it’s the praise that gets you loud. Isn’t that right, Pretty boy?” You whispered, a smile playing on your lips. You thought for a moment of the watchers in their strange fashion, grinning at the screen. Your left eye twitched as you thought of anyone but you seeing Peeta’s face right now. They weren’t doing any of the work to see his eyebrows pinch together. Nor did they deserve it.

You dropped your hand from his balls to gently reach out for his head. You pushed his face towards your shoulder, holding his body to your chest as you worked his dick with your hand. Peeta whined against the skin on your neck as you picked up your pace a smidge more. 

You moved your hand faster, as fast as you probably could all things considered. Peeta tightened his bite on your shoulder. You pressed your lips against his ear so he could hear your moan with all the clarity he deserved. Peeta jutted his hips against yours as he came, groaning against your shoulder. You slowed the pace of your hand, gently riding his high out. You pulled your hand away from his length, settling it against his hip. You lightly rubbed your thumb against his skin as his brain caught up with him. 

“Bite on my shoulder if you get too loud, okay baby?” You whispered into his hair. Peeta nodded against your collarbone. If you were to look from the outside you might look like just two lovers hugging in the ocean. Peeta had seemed a little tuckered out earlier in the day. As you kept your hand on his cock you continued to whisper to him so it’d look like you two were just having a private conversation rather than what you actually were doing.

You muttered in his ear how much of a good and sweet boy he was. As his breathing became more erratic his number of moans grew, just barely getting louder than you’d like. You shushed him. Peeta moaned again and opened his mouth against your shoulder. He sank his teeth into your skin as he swallowed another moan. You kissed the side of his face, glad he was enjoying your hand so much. 

Peeta slowly released your shoulder from his bite. You hissed at the feeling, suddenly feeling every tooth he had. You glanced down at your shoulder. There were clear indents in your skin from his teeth. Peeta frowned and littered kisses against the marks. He rubbed his hand over them before continuing his kissing. 

“ 'M sorry.” He whispered. You shook your head. 

“Don’t be. I enjoyed it.” You said, glancing over at Finnick and Johanna again. They both had their backs facing you two, pointing at the trees. You gently pushed Peeta away from your shoulder. He squished his lips to the side as he stared at it. His cheeks were flushed and you felt a little pride at the sight. 

“We should move away from here before someone puts two and two together.” You whispered. Peeta nodded. He pulled you closer by your wrist and gently pecked your lips. 

“I love you. I’ll repay you later, swear on my very short life.” Peeta said. You shook your head. 

“You don’t need to repay me, you don’t owe me anything. I just wanted to make you feel good. I love you too. Now, Finnick and Johanna.” You said, pointing over to them. You two slowly made your way over towards the pair. Peeta kept his hold on you and used you as support. You couldn’t mind less, you got to keep a hand on his waist the whole time. Finnick looked up when he heard the water splashing around as you two made your way. 

“Finally decided to join us?” Finnick asked. You nodded. 

“We had to discuss how we were going to handle ourselves around a naked Finnick. Tough discussion, truly.” You answered. Peeta snorted next to you and Finnick touched his chest over his heart. 

“You flatter me so,” Finnick said. Johanna raised an eyebrow at you two. Her eyes dipped down to your shoulder and Peeta pressed his hand against it to cover the bite mark. 

“Nasty. The both of you. Pull yourselves together.” Johanna whispered. Finnick looked back at you both. He tilted his head to the side. 

“What? What did I miss?” He asked. Johanna shook her head in disappointment at both of you. 

“You don’t want to know, Finnick,” Johanna whispered. Finnick looked back at you and Peeta. 

“What? Is it a secret? Can I know? Please?” Finnick said. You hummed and leaned over to peck Peeta’s lips. “Johanna, please,” Finnick added. You shrugged and winked at Peeta. 

[kyotosworld]

I Love You More

a/n: this is inspired by "i love you more" by the softies you can listen to it while reading if you want :) also this is my first fanfic….

summary: natasha starts drifting away after she gets into a relationship and you can't handle it.

pairing: natasha romanoff x fem!reader, natasha romanoff x bruce banner

word count: 1k

warnings: angst, language

You watched as natasha laughed at something bruce said while they sat close together on the couch. It was nice to see her so happy with someone for once, but a part of you felt bitter that that someone wasn’t you. 

It was team movie night, and even though you were meant to be having fun, you felt trashy having to see nat sit so close to bruce. You want to be the one cuddling up next to her and keeping her warm, but that’s not happening.

It’s been some time since just you and natasha have hung out. You've been seeing her less and less ever since she started dating Bruce. You felt like you had to compete for her time, but it wasn’t much of a competition seeing as, more often than not, bruce won. 

You knew there was no chance that nat saw you the way you saw her, so you never risked saying anything that might make it obvious how much you loved her. Or how much you despise the fact that Bruce can openly express his feelings for her while you can't. So instead, you love her quietly. 

You’re brought out of your thoughts when she smiles at you, and you try your best not to show how much it affects you before you smile back.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You’re excited. You have plans to go to your and nat’s favourite cafe, which you've been wanting to go to for so long. You and her used to go all the time before she started dating bruce, and you were glad to be resuming the tradition. She promised to take you, and you've been looking forward to some time with her. 

You are ready long before you have to be and decide to wait for her in the kitchen—where you guys chose to meet up. You start to get uneasy as it reaches the time when nat was meant to be here but isn't. You decide to wait longer, hoping she’ll be here soon. 

She finally walks into the kitchen, and you’re ecstatic to see her. Nat looks over at you, notices you're dressed—more than usual—looks down at herself in pyjamas, then looks back up at you with a guilty expression. Your heart breaks as you realize she forgot. 

“Oh.. it totally slipped my mind.” Nat slaps her palm on her forehead. "I'm sorry; I've been so preoccupied with Bruce, and...I can't believe I forgot; I really wanted to go. Me and bruce were out late last night, and I'm exhausted right now..”

“Oh no. It's fine,” you say, pushing down the hurt. “I’m kinda tired anyway.” You lie. 

She at least has the decency to look like she feels bad. “Are you sure, love?” 

You hated when she called you that. You hated how much more it made you love her. 

“Yeah yeah, we’ll just go another time.” You tiredly smiled, not at all believing what you were saying. 

“Of course,” she smiled. And you hated that that was all it took for you to forgive her. Regardless, it stung that something that meant so much to you didn't even cross her mind. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Natasha looked so beautiful as she tended the bar. It was another one of tony's parties, and nat was bartending. You stood on the side as you watched her, actively trying to ignore bruce’s presence. 

You hated him. However, you knew your anger wasn’t really justified. Bruce didn’t actually do anything wrong; he only did what you’ve wanted to do for so long—be with natasha.

As much as you hated their relationship, you did notice how much happier natasha seemed. And seeing her like that only made you love her more.  

You didn’t feel like you were worthy of being with her, she’s everything good, and you felt like the complete opposite. You hoped you could be enough for her, but you also knew it was too late for that.

If natasha being happy meant forgetting about you, you were okay with it. All you could do was hope that bruce loved her at least half as much as you did.

Every now and then, when you and Nat hung out it made you happy. Up until she’d mention bruce, which made you feel horrible.

There were times when you’d prefer she go to him because it seemed like that's all she wanted anymore. There was nothing keeping her with you anyway. But you would take all the time you could get with her, even if she only talked of him.  

She was spending more and more time with bruce, meaning you saw her less, and you missed her. It almost felt like she was ignoring you. You were sick of feeling this way, so jealous, when she didn't even give you a second glance. 

You even tried to convince yourself that you didn't have feelings for nat. You tried dating to distract yourself, but nothing ever worked. You were starting to accept that you were losing nat and that you’d never have her the way you wanted to. Maybe you were meant to end up alone, maybe you‘d rather. 

Knowing that you would feel much better if you weren't reminded of what you can't have, you decide to leave the party. When you finally get out, you somehow hear your name over the loud music and turn to see nat.

“You’re leaving already?” She asks, somewhat out of breath.

“Yeah, I'm kinda sick of all of Tony's parties.” You try to laugh, and she chuckles. 

“Mm..are you sure? We haven’t even danced yet.” She teases. 

A part of you considers going back in with her until she speaks again, “Look, I know I've been spending so much time with bruce, but you’ve been nothing but understanding. Thank you.” She says sweetly.

You gulped before replying, “of course.” Never mind, you’d rather not go back in. 

“Ok, well, if you’re sure about not coming back in, I’ll see you later, love.” Nat squeezes your hands before letting go and walking back inside. 

It hurt. It hurt to hear her say that. And it hurt to watch her leave, to be with him, and not you.

[sakumz]

____________________________________________

a/n : been obsessed with toshiki masuda lately not lately AGAIN. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OMF HJSHDHAJSJ anyways happy valentines

[ s. rei x gn reader ]

____________________________________________

rei sakuma... a plague living in your mind. how can you avoid that outstanding creature when he's everywhere or at least that was what you can spot the last few days.

you were running some grocery errands late last night. who did you bump into? rei sakuma. he, too, was doing some late night shopping. he said its better for him to do it at night as he's more active, therefore strong enough to carry his grocery and offer that he could carry yours as well. you scoff and rejected the offer and bid farewell, leaving the vampire alone.

you were having lunch with kaoru the other day. did rei pop out again? yes, he did. he joked about how kaoru was "cheating on him" and how kaoru was "stolen" by you! kaoru could only laugh bitterly at his friend and apologise to you for your sudden change of mood. you were glaring, clearly pissed off at the ruby eyed man. you just wanted to share some company with the blonde, seeing as he was alone in the cafeteria. he seemed to enjoy your company, striking a conversation with you until rei came. you excused yourself shortly after rei sat and starting yapping your ear off about stealing kaoru.

this was the last straw! you bumped into rei along the corridors. falling from the impact as he offers a hand.

" no stop, " you push his hand away.

" what? " he questions.

" why are you following me around, stalker? " you brush yourself up as he stares bewildered.

" oh, " he softly chuckles.

" coincidence? " you pout at his words. you can't believe him. he smiles at your reaction.

as you stand up, ready to walk away. you see rei at the corner of your eye, walk behind you. what's with him? you turn around ready to question and give him a piece of your mind when you're stopped by another man.

" hey, l/n. did you see kuma-kun? " izumi says. you can't help but laugh a little as you point behind you.

kuma-kun, sakuma was behind you after all. izumi shoots you an annoyed glare.

" not that sakuma, " he sighs as he rubs his forehead.

" yeah I'm aware, I didn't see him though. " izumi sighs once more before bidding you and rei farewell to continue his search for his fellow member.

" well? you can't be following me everywhere now, can you? " rei's silence was definitely deafening.

" happy valentines? " he walk past you as fast as the words were spilled.

you continued on with your day. everything felt oddly normal. it's the day of love, you received and handed chocolates. you had prepared chocolate for rei too. it was odd if you gave chocolate to everyone from undead and his brother than him. you couldn't give him, his earlier since your bag wasn't with you. you contemplated between finding him or going home. you could give him tomorrow. its already 6 pm, would he still be here?

you decide to walk around the garden, for once you hope he'd be here. he was indeed there with kaoru no less.

" oh... hey y/n! " kaoru greets first, hoping you'll save him from the grip rei has on his arm.

" hey... " you greet back.

" it's late, are you going home soon? " rei starts.

" kinda, I still have one last thing to do. " you mumbled as rei gave you a soft smile, letting kaoru go.

" I'll walk you home then, meet me at the gates. " rei instructed and you obeyed. it was suffocating to be there, you felt.

walking home with rei was a special occurrence. he wasn't as chatty as you expected, he listens and prompts the conversation. arriving at your doorstep, you're quick to stop him from turning on his heels.

" here. " you hand him the chocolate as he blushes a bit at the action.

" thank you, " he says.

" happy valentines. " you reply.

he takes a step forward and gives you kiss on the cheek. " be honest, you like me too? " he laughs.

" I do, but you're annoying! " you playfully scolded as he laughs once more.

[kosmokhaos]

Hi love! Your sims are GAWJUSSS. Literally breath taking. I’ve recently got back into playing ts3 and am loving it. I was wondering if you can recall the skin and/or makeup&accessories you used in Nyanaath’s makeover update here: https://www.tumblr.com/kosmokhaos/733942789751078912/i-feel-successful-now-cause-damn-ignore-the

I’ve been struggling so bad to find skins of high quality and detail that are darker hues, or eye/nose masks that don’t lose detail the deeper the shade gets. I saw that you gave a resource list of skins a few years back when Nyanaath looked a lil different, so i wasn’t sure if there was anything relatively new that you used or not. I see the pores and details in Nyanaath’s skin and am just dying to know how to get like you lmaoo

First of all, Hiii and thank you! 😁💕Happy new year! Prepare for a bit of rambling but I link to some stuff in the end.

I want to start off saying that most of my sim pics are edited to some degree, especially previous pics from the past. I'm trying to rely less on editing to make my sims looks nice, but of course there is only so much you can do in a sims game.

This is an example of what Nyanaath's skin looks like unedited. EA lighting sucks ass and looks patchy in Sims 3 on dark colored objects in general and unfortunately, sims are not excluded. I end up smoothing the discoloration and patchiness with editing 😭

Before vs After

Skins as dark as Nena's have to be made dark from the start because using a pale/light based skin and trying to use an in-game slider to darken it never turns out good in any game. Dark skin reflects light and shadows differently than light skin and needs its own already-dark base.

I will seriously consider trying to throw together a skinblend for male and female skins that are dark like this because I truly think there are none. BUUUUT LOL rambling aside I do have new recommendations for makeup and skin details since that post:

1. First up is @sourlemonsimblr for makeup. Especially for eyebrows and lipsticks! A lot of their lipsticks are insanely detailed and recolorable enough that they can fit most darker tones. Their skins are lovely too and they've even recently made a dark skin which I will💗Link Here💗. I haven't gotten a chance to play with it yet but they always have quality stuff. Take a stroll through their Downloads page because it's definitely worth it. 2. Next up for skin detail makeups is @smallsimmer. They have so many good nose makes and eye/lip details that can be recolored to use on your darker skinned sims! If you ever had a skin you really liked and wanted to switch up the nose, eyes or lips, their skin detail makeup will absolutely come in clutch. They even have a few converted for child and toddler sims (something ts3 is lacking in)💗Link Here💗 3. If you want some AF skins for darker sims that are readily available and detailed, I'd suggest @annoyinglydarkblaze I learned a lot about making skins from watching their journey into skin making a few years ago. Since they aren't as active anymore and their posts are a bit scattered I will link the skins I like best: 💗Here💗 💗Here💗 and 💗Here💗 4. My next pick for more masculine/male-centered CAS makeup and CC is @nectar-cellar Their cc has been helpful as I slowly update my male OCs. The Beards/detail makeup torso muscled-torso meshes and clothing are some of the best. 5. I also suggest @simtanico for sliders and their detail makeup. I have just about every slider they've created 😂They also make really well done maxis-match kinda styled clothes for male sims too.

I'm sure there are tons of other people I'm missing but its been a minute since I've been around simblr myself so I'll try to update this list as I go.

I'll also leave you with a little tip: Do NOT be afraid to use the opacity slider and layering with makeup on darker sims. Layering and opacity is your friend!

Happy Simming! 💗✨

[gogotti]

hey!! first off, your writing is just *chef's kiss*, i love it!!!

could i pretty please request smutty michael myers (og or rz) with an afab reader who is kinda silly, snarky, very much a funny friend/class clown type personality, and who likes egging him on and taunting him because they love when he's extra rough with them? they're just a wee bit of a brat who likes being scared and wants to be put in their place. tyyyy 💗🥺

First, thank you so much!! You are the first *chef's kiss* I've ever got so this made me very happy!!! I chose RZ for this because bark bark lmfaooo but I hope you enjoy it! I don't know if I interpreted this the right way so if I didn't I'm sorry, you are more than welcome to try again! ;) I did it half hc's and half fic cause I HAD to write the smutty part out.

and if you'd like to see more Michael Myers I have a few other fics!!

Michael Myers/Reader - NSFW

Warnings: none really, readers being silly goofy and fucking with Michael, Michael chokes you, Michael gets to cum but you don't :( I'm trying something new and using the word "cunt" instead of "pussy" so that's in there too

Messing with Michael was by far your favorite activity. 

Michael’s minding his business, sitting in his art room making masks, and you? You’ve been tearing small pieces of paper from the notepad at your side and trying to get one to land in his ear.

Michael’s trying to peacefully watch a movie and you're in the other room with the remote, turning it on and off to fuck with him and making him think he’s sitting on it

Every time he would huff and grunt at you, you would playfully do it back, effectively making any communication impossible. And earning you a warning growl when you passed the 5-minute mark

(Which was 3 minutes longer than Michael would have normally tolerated, so you saw it as a win)

Earlier you managed to find his candy stash, which he very much prided himself on hiding from you, and decided to parade around the house with his last remaining Hersey bar. You weren’t gonna eat it, of course, you were going to let him think you were.

The look on his face, which for once was one that you couldn't decipher, made chills go down your spine, and as Michael passed by you couldn't help but cower slightly.

You literally ran back to his stash and put it back. You also made a note to yourself to buy him more, just in case.

You even went as far as hiding his jumpsuit, which looking back at the situation from your standpoint now, was the best and maybe, possibly, the worst decision you’ve made yet.

It was obvious Michael wanted to go out tonight, his patience had been worn thin since he woke up and you were, intentionally, the cause of it. You were sitting comfortably in the center of your shared bed, watching and grinning every time Michael turned his back to you as he paced the room, desperately trying to remember where he last put his jumpsuit. You had been silent until this point, wanting Michael to simmer in his frustration a bit longer before you offered nothing but a witty comment to aggravate him further.

Your eyes swept around the room slowly, eventually settling on the closet he tore apart in his search. His jumpsuit sat comfortably under his pillow, folded as flat as you could get it in a fit of giggles, so Michael’s fit of destruction was very unnecessary, as well as a fitting punishment for you to deal with later. You glanced at Michal again, who stood silently across from you. “Michael, maybe you missed something in the clo-..!”

Michael rushed at you suddenly, you didn't have time to avoid the crushing fist that clamped around your neck; your sputtering and grabbing at Michael’s hand did not stop him from pushing you back against the headboard and knocking the wind out of you. As you struggled to breathe Michael stood above you, blue eyes staring down with less than violent intentions, surprisingly. His eyes were settled on his jumpsuit, folded and tossed haphazardly under his pillow, which had been tossed to the side in his fit. He knew that you were the one who put it there, so his eyes shot to you, and he huffed at your struggle to look innocent. “Oh… It’s under your pillow, Michael…” You looked at him cautiously before moving to pick it up and mindlessly wipe and mess with it. “Hm… wonder how it got there… I could’ve sworn-!!”

Again, Michael grabbed at your throat, only this time he kept you suspended. He quickly swiped everything but a single pillow off of the bed, tossing you down, and roughly flipping you over when you landed. It was much easier to let him toss you around, so you didn't bother moving; instead, you settled into your spot, quickly getting comfortable underneath him, a cocky grin forming on your face that you were glad Michael wasn't paying attention too. The sound of the nightstand being rummaged through grabbed your attention, and you could only turn your head slightly before he roughly grabbed your hair, shoving you into the pillow below you. You moaned into the pillow at the grip he had on your hair, just barely able to hear Michael’s huff from above you. The sudden noise of Michael tossing something onto the dresser drew your attention again, and only now could you hear the wet noises coming from Michael. 

He took his hand off of your head and slipped it underneath you, scooping you up slightly and moving around a bit before placing his cock between your thighs, close enough so the tip could bump against your cunt. You hummed as you felt Michael begin to move, placing you down and beginning to thrust slowly. His cock brushed against your clit deliciously, and your body immedietly melted at the feeling, soft breaths and moans spilling from your mouth as Michael rocked slowly above you. Michael shifted, the bed dipping on your sides slightly, and you quickly assumed he was adjusting, only to have your hair pulled roughly, your head flying back so you could see Michael perfectly. He quickly let go of your hair, now reaching for your throat and grabbing harshly. He placed his other hand on your hip, squeezing a bruise into your side as he began to thrust faster. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and high-pitched whines and moans poured from your hanging jaw, unable to close because of the brutal pleasure Michael was putting you through. 

His cock rammed into your clit, the feeling making your cunt clench around nothing and drawing a loud plea from your mouth. “Michael, please, I want you inside!” You whined loudly as Michael huffed and continued to roughly fuck your thighs, seemingly ignoring your plea. A yelp left your mouth as Michael slightly slowed for a moment to thrust himself into your cunt, grunting at the feeling of your walls clenching down onto his cock, and continuing his brutal pace. The stretch of Michael suddenly entering you was painful, but each rough thrust sent a shock of pleasure through you that made you bite into your lip in order to keep yourself grounded. It wasn't long before you felt the familiar pull of an orgasm begin to form in your core, and you could tell Michael was getting closer too, his thrusts began to get rougher and sloppier. You needed more, but whining and pleading for Michael to do literally anything to finally make you cum seemed useless since Michael wasn’t paying any attention to you. You could feel Micheal's hips stutter and slow as he thrust himself balls deep, filling your cunt. 

You whined as Michael slowed, and that feeling in your core began to fade until you were right back where you started: desperately needing Michael to rail you. He slowly pulled out and your eyes widened, “You're not done, are you?”

Michael of course didn't respond, instead, you watched as he got off of the bed and snatched his jumpsuit off of the floor, carelessly walking into the bathroom as you stared at him in shock. He came out of the bathroom shortly after, immediately turning toward the door to leave causing you to sit up quickly, speaking loud enough to get his attention.

“What if I said I’m sorry?”