#kids are selfish as hell!!!! they need to be!!!! to meet their needs and stay alive!

[fool-bois]

“humans are inherently selfish” well uh- “no! humans are taught to be selfish! humans are inherently caring” well actually... maybe its both??? have you considered that selfishness is the thing that keeps you alive and caring about those around you is the reason to keep on living?

[backinmyphase]

Not fulfilling meals

Summary: As the days go on, the Gojo estate remains cold, as you and Satoru didn't really talk to each other. Would your arranged marriage ever be bearable? Well, Gojo wants to try.

Or: Satoru Gojo doesn't even know how attached he will grow to his wife yet.

Pairing: Gojo x reader, 2980 words

Part 1 Masterlist

Author's note:

Well I guess this is my 100 followers special?? Like you guys are so sweet, how did I deserve your kind comments?? I hope you like this part too <3 (This will be a slow burn, I'm sorryyy :'), if you want to be added to the taglist, just say so it's no problem <3 your comments make my day :))

The jujutsu world was Gojo Satoru's world.

He knew, he was the strongest. He knew, he destroyed the balance of the jujutsu world just by being born. He knew, it was expected of him to keep this power in the hands of the Gojo clan.

He knew, he should marry and get an heir. An heir, who would be even stronger than him.

But he was selfish. Wanted to live his life, without a timer that says when he should have a kid.

He wanted to have control of his life. And if that was so selfish, well then he would gladly be it.

That's what he always thought. But right now, as he didn't see you for the third day in a row, he felt guilty.

Guilty, because he didn't really dislike you. Hell, he didn't even know you. He disliked that you two had to marry. Hated, that it wasn't his choice.

The last days were colder than usual. He felt your presence in this house and that you avoided him like the plague. Everytime he sat down at the table in the living room to eat, he would hear the words you threw at him.

He should be glad. You said, you wouldn't bother him and you kept your word. You didn't even come out of your room when he was around.

So why did he hate it?

He sat at the table in the living room with his breakfast. And he waited. Waited, even though he had to do missions. Waited, even though his brain was telling him to leave.

He waited.

'SO EXCUSE ME. IF I THINK MY HUSBAND DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME AT ALL!'

His phone rang and a message from Suguru popped up.

"Where are you, Satoru?"

Satoru should stand up an leave. Should eat and leave. But his consciousness didn't want him to leave. His phone rang again. Should he leave or stay?

He waited.

'AND IF I DON'T WANT TO HAVE MYSELF SUFFER THROUGH IT!'

His empty plate looked at him. His own reflection raising an eyebrow at his behavior.

He stood up. Slowly he moved to your door. Looked at the closed door and wondererd if he should knock. Just ask you to eat with him.

'I DON'T WANT-'

He turned around and went to his missions, like he was supposed to. Like his senses told him.

~

Your room was so cold. Even when you hid under your supposedly warm covers, you started to shiver at the thought that you will always sleep here.

You were scared.

Gojo was longer and longer in the living room, every morning he made himself ready to leave. And today morning he was in front of your room.

You were so scared of the conflict with him.

Not that you felt guilty, you didn't feel sorry for what you said or anything like that. But the overwhelming fear that he would tell his clan members about the issues in your marriage would mean your doom.

Today was a meeting with your mother and the higher ups.

Your mother made clear that the meetings will be on a regularly basis in the letter. And she hoped that 'you could deliver good news'.

She meant deliver a kid.

No, your blanket didn't keep you warm. And it didn't protect you from all evil like your child self foolishly thought.

~

"You are late." As Satoru's best friend looked at him, he almost looked concerned.

"Sorry, slept in a bit." Satoru didn't look him in the eyes. "Where is the mission?"

Suguru inspected him a bit and then waved his hand. "Don't bother, I will do it today. You can rest today."

Satoru laughed a bit, but was confused when Suguru didn't laugh with him. "Wait, you mean that?"

"Yeah, Satoru." Suguru sighed. "You look like you need a break. And maybe," Suguru's voice grew a bit softer.

"You could talk to her about it, instead of working yourself dead."

Satoru scoffed as he looked to the side. "She doesn't want to see me. Like ever."

The following silence spoke loudly. And Satoru knew that it was his own fault.

But what was he supposed to do now? What did you want from him? How should he know, when you two didn't talk? How?

"Just go home Satoru."

~

"Don't raise your head to high. Just because you are married to Gojo, doesn't mean you will get the same treatment." Your mother pressed her lips together disapprovingly.

"Yes, mother."

She nodded and sighed as you waited for the other Clan members and higher ups to show up.

Your hands were shaking so you kept them hidden in your lap trying to gain the control other them again. But your anxiety grew by every second.

You weren't made for this pressure, this life. You weren't made for being the wife of the strongest.

You felt weak.

"They are here." A servant announced and your heart felt like it exploded.

"Good. Let them in." Your mother spoke calm and collected, like the power of the jujutsu society wasn't in her house. How did she become so untouchable?

As the door opened, you could feel the atmosphere becoming more sharp.

The higher ups were old. But that just made them more menacing for you. Those people were always just some force that would control your purpose, to you.

Now that force stood before you.

You looked down at your hands and you could feel their stares. Your hands were sweating madly as you began holding your breath.

You felt so small.

Gojo would keep his head up. He wouldn't fall into himself, he wouldn't care about their stares. Why couldn't you be like that?

Because you weren't born like him.

"Mrs. Gojo." The voice of an eldery woman. "How did you sleep tonight?"

What did they want from you? Why were you his wife, for God's sake? Why did you have to be a girl? Why, why, why?

"I slept well, thank you." You tried everything to keep your voice steady in front of them. Just try to not look so weak, okay?

"So can we asume an heir is on the way?"

"What?" Too surprised, you raised your head forgetting your mother's words.

And that made the stares just worse. The eyes were piercing you.

"You didn't sleep with him?" An old man looked disapprovingly at you. A man you didn't know.

He looked at your mother. "I thought we made it clear, that the heir was top priority!"

Your mother's eyes were boring into your head. "You did, and she knows that. I hope she knows her duties as his wife."

She didn't even talk to you. "I know." you looked down again. "We just didn't have the time to get to know each other-"

"What does that matter?" The eldery woman from the beginning sounded annoyed. "Knowing each other wasn't really your duty."

Your vision started to get blurry. Why?

"Well you at least talked about the honeymoon, right? Then you have time for your duties." You didn't know if your mother was trying to help you, or was trying to help the higher ups.

"No, we didn't really-"

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, FOR WHAT DID YOU THEN HAVE TIME?" The man was yelling now. "WE GAVE YOU FOUR DAYS! WHAT WERE YOU DOING?"

It was difficult to breathe. Your mouth was hard to open and dry. Your neck was feeling sore, because of the looking down. Your eyes were...

Why did you even show up to the meeting?

Gojo wouldn't have bowed to their will. He would stand up. But you can't.

You just can look down.

"This will be more work than we hoped." You didn't try to differentiate their voices anymore.

"You have a lot to learn about how things work here." You felt like being pushed down onto the ground.

"Mrs. Gojo."

~

Satoru was feeling sick. You were nowhere to be found and he knew nothing about anything. The Servants couldn't tell him anything either.

First he thought you just needed a bit time for yourself and went for a walk or something.

That's what he thought ten hours ago.

Before he spend the whole day with megumi and tsumiki. Before he came home at 8 pm and you were still not home.

Was this it? Did you hate him this much, you would just leave?

Maybe he really fucked up that bad.

And as he was pacing up and down in the living room, dinner still untouched on the table, he felt terrible.

He didn't feel bad, when he skipped the meetings. No, he felt bad after he saw who he was hurting.

He was an asshole.

Why did you have to remind him of that? Suguru was doing that enough already. But when you did it, it stung much more and he didn't know why.

"Mr. Gojo?"

He flinched as he heard the voice of the little girl. Another reminder of you. The servant girl who was named Hina. Which he didn't know.

"Yes?"

"The food is cold. Should we make it hot again?"

Oh. The food.

As he looked at the planned dinner he felt sorry for making her work again. And you also had to eat today.

"Wait. My wife isn't home yet, we will wait for her."

The girl blinked two times before slowly nodding. "If you wish so." With that she took the food with her to the kitchen.

Satoru didn't know what to do. You were such a mystery to him, would you really go as far as just leaving and never coming back?

He didn't know. Satoru stood there in the living room clueless. Didn't know if his wife would just run away or not. Ironic, isn't it?

Where were you? What should he do?

'SO EXCUSE ME. IF I THINK MY HUSBAND DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME AT ALL!'

He sat down. And he waited.

~

You were tired. So, so tired.

The meeting was long. Countless yelling and accusations at you. Tips for in bed and advice how to convince him to sleep with you.

You felt sick.

Sick, because they want to hear from you weekly, how your 'sex life' with Gojo is going. All these old people obsessed with making a new prodigy for their schemes.

"You are replaceable." They told you. "We can find a new wife to get an heir."

"So stop, resisting."

"Do it for your Clan."

These people weren't right in the head. They were truly sick.

And as all these faces left, normal breathing was allowed. Your heart was working overtime all these hours and you felt dizzy.

"Why are you still here? Go home and start fufilling your duties."

Your mother still sat next to you, angry and stone cold.

"I don't know him." your voice was shaking. "I can't-"

"I didn't know your father too." Her voice was sharp. "Still I had priorities. And those should be your Clan."

Her body seemed like a statue. Unshakable.

"Mother, I don't think he wants-"

"NONSENSE!"

Her sudden yelling made you flinch. She took a breath and then spoke in her unshakable voice again.

"He is a man. They always want. And one day he will just take."

She stood up. She didn't seem unshakable anymore. No, she was more unreachable, it wouldn't matter what you said.

"Your car is ready to leave." That were her last words before she left.

You were always left alone.

~

As you took the final steps to the Gojo estate, you felt tired like never before. Only now you realized that you haven't eaten since breakfast.

You hoped Hina didn't worry to much and they had something ready. You just wanted to eat and sleep.

'Maybe I won't sleep so badly tonight,' you thought as you rang the door bell. 'Since I can't even stand properly, from all the sitting. And I should get my own key, since'

The door in front of you swung open with force and blue eyes were locked in yours.

"Where-"

He stopped himself as he looked at you. There was something in his look that you couldn't put your finger on.

"Are you okay?"

His look was becoming unbearable for you, so you looked down.

"Yeah."

He just nodded and let you in. You hesitated before going in, not knowing what to do in his presence.

As you looked around, you noticed the empty dinner table. But what really caught your eye was that his plate was clean and not even touched.

"Hina," He remembered her name? You thought he would never... "We can eat now."

We?

"Or have you eaten already?"

You didn't dare look at him. What was all this about? Why was he even talking to you?

"No." you cleared your dry throat. "I haven't eaten already."

He hummed and ordered Hina and the other chefs to warm up dinner.

Hesitant, you sat down at the other side of the big table. Awkwardly you looked around, feeling out of place, because of the sudden attention.

"Why are you already home? You worked longer the last days. You weren't here before 11 pm." Finally you found your voice.

Gojo looked at you and firstly didn't say anything. Then he looked away and cleared his throat. "I... Just had no missions today. So I came home early."

"Oh."

Hina showed up like a savoir for this conversation and brought dinner.

But she brought for two persons.

"You haven't eaten already?" you looked down at your plate, trying to eat normally but your position was so stiff it wasn't easy.

"No, i-" he stopped in his sentence and looked down at his plate. "I wasn't really hungry till now."

You just nodded, while trying to eat as quiet as possible. The silence between you was palpable. The only sond was the slicing of the knives.

You tried to keep yourself steady. You really shouldn't eat too fast or he would think you were running. Which you technically were, but he didn't have to know it.

"Where," Gojo tried to sound casual. "Where were you?"

You stopped eating and thought about what you should say. He shouldn't know about the meetings. Shouldn't know that you were 'trained' to be his duties fulfilling wife.

"I visited my mother." Technically not a lie. "She wants to meet me regularly."

He nodded and continued eating. Looked like he was satisfied. He shouldn't think you were unfaithful or anything like that.

"Do you have a good relationship with her?"

Your eyes widened and you looked up to really look him in the eyes. Those beautiful eyes.

"Good enough." your voice was barely a whisper. But he nodded like he was listening carefully to everything you said.

"Should I come with you some time?" he leaned a bit back in his seat. "Or do you think she doesn't want to see me?"

As you thought about all the times your mother ranted about Gojo because of his irresponsibility, you couldn't help but chuckle. "I don't think so."

His position stiffed a bit. "Why do you think so?"

"She thinks you are careless." Your voice was growing cold. "Because the meetings you missed, Gojo."

"Oh. Yeah right." He looked down again and mumbled something incoherently.

You didn't ask what he said.

The silence between you came back as you finished your meal. And as you were finished, you stood up taking your now empty plate with you.

"I will bring that in the kitchen." You could finally turn away from him and his eyes. "Good night."

You didn't really expect an answer. But Gojo seemed to like to surprise you.

"Good night, sleep well. You look exhausted, try to rest now."

Your traitor of a heart started to pound louder, like you were in a bad romance novel. Your mind told it to shut up, while you walked out of the reach of his eyes and presence into the kitchen.

You walked to Hina and handed her your plate with a smile, while telling yourself to breathe normally.

"Thank you, dear, it tasted fantastic."

The girl smiled back at you. "Happy to hear that, Mrs. Gojo. We were also happy to see you two eating together."

"Oh well," you waved her statement away. "It won't happen again I think. Was just a coincidence."

The girl in front of you looked confused and shook her head. "No, Mr. Gojo specifically ordered to wait for you to eat dinner. His food was ready 2 hours ago."

You couldn't help but blink at her. He waited for you?

A tiny little hopeful thought slid into your head, speaking quietly but still steady.

Maybe-

~~

It was already later than usual as Satoru sat in the living room. His breakfast still untouched he fought with himself.

Your door was still closed.

No, one evening couldn't open a locked door so easily. And as he stared at your empty seat he wondered. Why was this table even that big?

He should change that.

Did you always wait for him to leave before you ate?

Weren't you hungry?

'I DON'T WANT TO HAVE MYSELF SUFFER THROUGH IT!'

His phone rang as a new message popped up. It was from Suguru.

'Are you still home, Satoru?'

He stood up. This was dumb. He was acting dumb.

He knocked at your door. "Are you coming for breakfast?"

~

Maybe Satoru wasn't all bad.

Taglist:

@zoeyflower @bubera974 @ssetsuka @lady-of-blossoms @peqch-pie

@karlaolea @slut-for-fictional-men @tnt-kokoo @gojoscumslut @sillyfreakfanparty

@tbzzluvr

@emi311 @the-number7 @o-ikawaii @doodle-cat16 @yozora7154

@levisfavoriteteashop @roscpctals99 @starlightglimmersworld @manyuyuu

[renren-006]

Hii, could you do something with fezco where he basically takes his anger out on his girlfriend:reader)

Anger and love | Fezco x F!Reader

word count: 678

warnings: angst, anger, fluff

A/N: Hey!!! thank you so much for the request!! I hope you like it!!!

You started living with Fez a few years ago when you first graduated college and got a job working for the local paper. You and Fezco had been dating for a few years before you moved in with him. Things had been good, until the drug business began to be too much for Fez to handle. He had been moody towards you and lashed out in ways. You did your best to stay back when he was like that or when he went to make a deal. 

Ash was like your little kid, he came to you when he needed someone and he also came to you when you yourself needed someone. More times in the past year he came to you in warning whenever Fez was particularly pissed about something, usually about drug dealers, drug meetings or Rue was a bad bother. 

This one day though, Ash forgot to let you know before the fight between the two of you broke out.

Fez had another deal that night and you were in the kitchen cleaning up from the dinner you had made for yourself when the pair walked through the door. Ash went straight to his room and fez wandered into the kitchen, not a word to you. 

“Hey, how was the meeting?” you asked, hoping to get some response from your boyfriend and not be ignored. 

“Why do you care?” he asked shortly. His eyes were glazed, he was angry. 

“Im sorry was just concerned, you didn't say anything to me”

“God are you that selfish! You need that much attention, if i knew i was getin’ a needy girlfriend i never would have dated you! Fuck Y/N just leave me the hell alone, God!” he yelled at you, anger boiling over him. You stepped back into the sink, you wanted to slap him, but you knew that would only make it worse. But then the realization of what he just said washed over him. “Y/N” he spoke but you flushed and rushed out of the kitchen and into the hallway where you passed a worried Ash.

“Thanks for the heads up” you said, annoyed and hurt. “I'm sorry” Ash said quietly but your door was already closed and the sounds of crying echoed to his ears. Fez stood outside the entry to the hallway.

“Whats wrong with you brother” Ash spoke to him, and Fez realised that he had fucked up. He had never yelled at you like that before. There had been times where he'd just told you to back off, trying to let you know he wasn't in a good mood but this was altogether a different thing. He needed help, and you were the only one who could. 

You heard the door open and the feeling of the bed rock beside you. Fez sat on the bed, next to your body hidden and covered in blankets. 

“I think I need help,” he said finally. “What i did to you wasn't okay”

“No it wasn't” you said sniffling away the tears that wanted to fall again. He stayed seated where he was, letting you make the move to come closer to him. You didn't move. 

“What i said wasn't true, you're not needy and i wanna tell you hi…I was angry at the world not you sweetheart” he said, the tears were now rolling down his cheeks as he realized he could have ruined the two of you forever if he kept going down this path. 

“You took it out on me, when all I wanted was to be there for you” you said angrily after you sat up slightly, still not looking at him. 

“I know…thats why i need help” he said, “and i need help being better for you” he told you. You turned around finally towards him and enveloped him in a hug, and the two of you made a plan to better communicate. From then on his anger wasn't taken out on you, but rather the punching bag you set up in the side yard for him.

[awearywritersworld]

"can we stay here a little while longer?"

gojo satoru x reader summary: grappling with death, something that seems ever pervasive in your line of work, gojo offers you comfort w/c: .8k tags/warnings: light angst to fluff, gn!reader, no use of y/n, discussions of death, smoking, your relationship is obviously close but it's exact nature is left ambiguous a/n: i just want him to hold me, i am weeping. i wrote most of this a while back and finally decided to finish it. masterlist check out my latest work for gojo here

"what brings you out here?" you call out to the white haired man strolling in your direction.

"oh you know," he begins, sitting down beside you in the grass. "just thought i could use some sun."

you're situated beneath a willow tree, its leaves rustling as the branches sway in the wind.

you look up at the gray sky incredulously. "'toru, it's overcast-"

"ah! you always see right through me, sweetheart," he exclaims, amusement clear in his voice. "i'm really just here to check on you."

you look over and meet his eye, but turn away the very next moment. "oh."

he watches as you pull blades of grass from the ground one by one. in your other hand, a cigarette hangs loosely between two fingers and he doesn't say anything more until you take a long drag from it.

"haven't you heard those things will kill you?"

a humorless chuckle passes your lips as you begin to exhale, blowing the smoke away from his direction. "given our line of work, it's much more likely that something else will get to me first."

"i guess you've got me there," he acquiesces, nimble fingers pulling the cigarette from yours.

you raise your eyebrows when he brings it to his lips, his nose scrunching almost imperceptibly as the menthol cools his tongue. having grown up with you and shoko, it's not like he's never smoked before. he just prefers to eat his weight in sweets, everyone having their vices and all.

"is that why you've been hiding away the past two days?" he questions, passing it back to you.

you shrug. "'m just tired of losing people."

his hand lands just above your knee, giving it a light squeeze before pulling away. "me too."

gojo's well accustomed to your habit of isolating yourself, and while he knows you need alone time now and then, he always comes to find you before long.

"do you wanna talk about it?" he broaches, giving you a little nudge with his elbow. "everyone else is getting tired of dealing with me, especially shoko."

"i suppose i can open up if it's for her sake-"

"hey!" he interrupts, though he's relieved to see the small smirk playing at your lips.

"kidding!" you laugh, leaning into him. after a moment, you grow quiet once more, though your expression isn't nearly as gloomy. "i don't know, 'toru. sometimes i just feel as if death is the easy part."

gojo narrows his eyes at you, the sentiment behind your words igniting his worry. "meaning what, exactly?"

"that they're gone.. and meanwhile i'm left to wonder why the hell i'm still alive."

"don't say that," he scolds, sounding a bit harsher than he intends.

"why not? it's not like-"

"because i'd die before i'd let anything happen to you."

you just stare at him, your lips slightly parted and your expression entirely unreadable. he doesn't take it back though, his eyes burning into yours decisively and his tone definite, like he'd decided on the matter ages ago. it leaves no room for argument, really, but of course you argue anyway.

"don't be ridiculous," you eventually huff.

"i'm not, you said it yourself. death is the easy part and i happen to be exceptionally selfish-"

"oh, that is the furthest thing from the truth," you interrupt.

"not when it comes to you."

his words hang in the air and you wonder when your heart started hammering against your ribcage, each beat more vicious than the last. the man before you is kind and generous, a far cry from the careless boy you'd known in your youth.

you haven't failed to notice the time and energy he dedicates to his students, or the way he's risked his life to protect those who can't protect themselves. it goes without saying that he'd won your admiration and understanding a long time ago.

"well, we all deserve to be selfish sometimes," you murmur.

his lip tugs upward at your response, a show of emotion that's both soft and genuine. "does that mean i can force you to rejoin society now?"

suddenly, you're aware of all the life around you— life that carries on even in the absence of the sun. the bees that fly from blossom to blossom. the birds that sing to one another. the squirrels that chase each other through the branches of the willow tree.

you scoot closer to gojo, your head falling onto his shoulder as you softly exhale. "can we stay here a little while longer?"

"sure, princess," he hums, his lips grazing the top of your head in a gentle show of affection. "we can stay as long as you want."

[luneemeritus]

I was thinking about how I would imagine Husk's life before Hell... taking a lot of canon information as inspiration but still keeping my personal headcanons.

Ok so his name was Henry Oscar. A black-american man. To me, he died with 55 years old. Born in 1920, Los Angeles, and died in 1975. His parents were very neglectful and he had a special problem with his dad, that raised him with the typical abusive and sexist behaviour. Husk (or Henry) was a man, so he needed to be tough and hide all of his feelings, which as very difficult not only because of his human nature but also the world around him. Life was NOT easy for a black man in the 20's America. Still, he managed to be independent since youth and started his life working in casinos. So yes, he developed gambling addiction since he was young, but at first it didn't seem dangerous. He was just a lonely boy engaging in arts and games. Husk was a very talented man that became a great musician, magician and gambler, but he also had the inclination to be selfish and greedy due to how he was raised.

I also love to imagine him having a family. Meeting some girl in LA, marrying her and having a kid — a precious and beautiful little girl that he loved deeply. But the gambling, that was first one of his many talents and ways to have fun, was becoming a worse and worse addiction. He started to lose money, SO MUCH money, and damaged his family's financial stability. He also engaged with cheating and dangerous activities with not-so-good people. Loan sharks, mobsters, and criminals in general. He frequently engaged in violent fights with dangerous people, ending up either in jail for some days/weeks, or being chased and coerced by them — literally bringing danger to his family.

One day, obviously, his wife had enough. She was tired of loosing financial stability, having hers and her daughter's safety threatened by her husband's reckless behaviour. She also believed Husk was supposed to be strong and perfect all the time — typical-period sexism —, which led her to ask a divorce. The divorce process was painful to Husk; he truly loved his family, so much, but he knew it was his fault. Worse, his ex-wife did her best to keep him away from their daughter, because he was a lost cause in her eyes, and it didn't take too long for her to get married with another man. Husk was abandoned, replaced and pushed away from his daughter. And it was all his fault... his mental health only got worse and worse.

Now he was alone again. He saw no other choice but to continue that life style, now the alcohol took a great part of his routine and became a new addiction. His life was attached to the casinos, his only way of earning the minimal gain to pay his bills. So he fucked around — with women AND men — and gambled more and more, now that he had only himself to care about. His life wasn't entirely terrible, he traveled a lot because of the money he earned, but still, he missed his family. A lot. He couldn't see his precious daughter again, and yeah he did try to meet other people and love again... but it always failed. Everyone thought he was too damaged, too broken to be loved. A waste of time, always unsafe and unworthy. He couldn't get proper mental health treatment nor get over his addictions, so he started to believe that, indeed, it was all true, he was unworthy.

All of this destroyed Husk completely. But specially, his guilt. The guilt of what his reckless behaviour did to his family, the guilt of never being able to let go of his addictions, let go of his past... guilt of never being able to be a good partner for anyone. He thought it was all his fault, and that his fate was to be alone. Unfortunately, in 1973, he discovered he had cirrhosis. He didn't have money enough to pay the treatment. Then, Husk decided to just... give up. Give up of trying to be better, trying to be something he isn't, trying to have a normal and peaceful life. He went to a small hospital in LA and stayed there for the next two years, when he died. Alone and forgotten. No one ever cared to visit him, and he was burried as indigent because no one identified his body.

Now some other details about my headcanon: Husk/Henry was surprisingly open minded. He was basically raised in casinos, he met a lot of sex workers and queer, gender-non-confirming people. It didn't take him too long to realize he was queer himself, and to be fair, he was actually fine with that (as long as, you know, it was in secret because it WAS extremely dangerous to be openly queer at that time). Also, I've seen a lot of people commenting the fact that Husk hated cats when he was alive... and I really want to know if this is canon or not. Because I genuinely don't know, either way I don't headcanon him as hating cats.

Husk kinda made friends during his lifetime, but they were only interested in him when he had money. He was often earning a lot of money, and loosing all of it in like, one night of gambling. So his life was always unstable. The last he saw his daughter, she was nine years old. The feeling to be replaced as husband AND father was basically what fucked up his mental health the most. The problem of Husk's life was that he would always lose everything, even when he was close to true happiness. He lost his family, lost his mental and physical health, and even his soul. Obviously, someone so used to feel unworthy, to be lonely and not cared for, became a selfish and greedy person as an Overlord who didn't care about the consequences of his actions. He had power, therefore he had everything... until he didn't, until he lost everything again.

The Hotel is a new start for him. Finally, the chance to be that passionate man again, and maybe, even start a new family.

[idk-bruh-20]

Irondad fic ideas #125

AU where Thanos never happened and the Rogues eventually return. They've been pardoned and they're supposed to get the team back together, but there's still tension. A lot has changed.

Tony has told them repeatedly to never call in Spider-Man for backup. Steve doesn't understand or approve. He assumes Tony is just holding a grudge, trying to keep this new, obviously powerful recruit on his own side. 

One day, Tony is caught up in SI business somewhere when a mission comes up, and they need extra hands. Steve decides to call in Spider-Man.

At first the mission goes smoothly, but then of course things take a turn. All hell breaks loose.

Tony taps into comms not long after to tell them he's on his way. He's left his meeting and is flying as fast as he can, though he's still a long way out. Somehow, Tony figures out that Peter is there. (Maybe he overhears Peter quipping, maybe Steve casually references Spider-Man.)

One way or another, he figures it out. He goes deadly quiet, then switches to a private comm with just Steve.

Tony is betrayed, aggravated, terrified and trying to bury it (and not doing a very good job), and honestly kind of bitter and insulted that Steve can't hear his obvious fear. Steve is annoyed at Tony's childish stubbornness, assumes the man is just mad at things not going his way. Still in the midst of battle, he dismisses Tony's concerns.

Then, Spider-Man gets hurt. Bad. Tony had already been frantically trying to get there faster when he heard the kid was there, but he still doesn't arrive in time.

At some point -- maybe there on the battlefield, maybe later in med bay when Steve arrives to chew Tony out for leaving with Spider-Man instead of staying to help -- at some point it becomes abundantly clear that Peter is Tony's son.

(Bio, adopted, emotional, doesn't matter)

It becomes clear that Tony wasn't making Spider-Man off-limits for selfish reasons. Steve, blinded by his own view of Tony, was unbelievably wrong. 

It turns out, he had just been trying to keep his son safe.

Bonus:

If the reveal does happen later in med bay, there could even be a moment after the battle where Steve, fuming about Tony's lack of help and general inability to be a team player, is intercepted by Rhodey.

Maybe Rhodey arrived just after Tony (flying from the same meeting, but Tony freaked out and raced ahead) and then stuck around to help finish the fight. His reaction to Steve's unempathetic and baseless reading of his best friend is stone cold.

Bonus 2:

Steve fails to notice or understand Rhodey's meaning. Then he gets to med bay and is faced with the image of Tony holding a sleeping Peter on the hospital bed, glaring right across the room at him.

Both of them completely aware of what Steve had assumed, all these years, about the kind of person Tony was

[mad-hatter-memes]

Ice Nine Kills: The Silver Scream Starters

A collection of dialogue prompts from the songs of Ice Nine Kills "The Silver Scream" album. Feel free to edit quotes as necessary.

TW: Swearing, threats, violent and gory references, suggestive references

The American Nightmare

"Rest your head, here's a lullaby."

"Welcome to your worst nightmare!"

"But I won't be forsaken."

"The beast has been awakened"

"It's fate that I'm still here."

They all think it's just pretend..."

"You'll never ever sleep again."

"All your friends are fucking dead!"

"You can't turn down your own deathbed."

Thank God It's Friday

"Throats get slit in this neck of the woods."

"You just scratched the surface of the curse of the [Location]"

"Thank god it's Friday..."

"Did you know my son drowned in this lake?"

"He should have been supervised. But the counselors were off having filthy sex!"

"His name was [Name], and today is his birthday..."

"Don't you know he'll never be gone for good?"

"We'll never get out of the woods..."

Stabbing in The Dark

"Oh doctor, can't you see...?"

"These are the devils eyes!"

"Your kids won't make it home tonight."

"I'll haunt you day after day..."

"I've carved up quite a scene!"

"You can't kill the boogeyman!"

"He is armed and extremely dangerous..."

"Shoot to kill. I repeat, shoot to kill."

"It's either you or some kid down the street"

"Trick or fuckin' treat!"

SAVAGES

"We're lethal liabilities 'till we die."

"Mess with the horns, and you get the devil!"

"You're not invincible."

"Stay on your side of the tracks, if you know what's good..."

"You won't make it out of our neighborhood."

The Jig is Up

"Morality takes casualties..."

"My blueprint to salvation shall breed a worthy generation."

"You want to play a fucking game?!"

"I saw through the selfish but saw no soul..."

"They're all just gears in my machine."

"They said they had a purpose, but they're losing their composure..."

"They said that they were grateful, but the jig is up..."

"Will you find integrity, when there's nothing left of me?"

A Grave Mistake

"Till death do us part came far too soon..."

"Buildings burn and people die all of the time."

"You can't save yourself or save your soul."

"Payback for what you took from me!"

"No forgiveness, just farewell."

"May you rest in pieces..."

Rocking the Boat

"Shark!"

"This is [Name], do you read me?"

"This is an official distress call, over."

"There's a monster lurking underneath!"

"I've got a fish to fry that's feeding on the week."

"We're all just floating in a shallow grave."

"We'll compare scars with each other 'till our very last breath."

"The boat is under attack, it's a great white!"

"In fifteen minutes we'll be fucking shark bait!"

"Last chance to make amends, so try to stay afloat."

"We'll need a bigger boat!"

Enjoy Your Slay

"Going down, sir?"

"The writing on my walls will tell you how it's gonna be"

"Can't you see that you're just rats within my halls?!"

"To hell with hospitality!"

"Don't overlook the past..."

"If you need help finding peace of mind, don't hesitate to ask."

"We're here to help you on your way."

"Oh, I'm not gonna hurt you, I'm just gonna bash your fucking brains in!"

"Hey, [Name], come play with us..."

"I'll hit your whole bloodline!"

"Shall we tell old [Name] what he's won?"

Freak Flag

"We kept the pace, but we're done pretending."

"We're all messed up inside, and forced to act like everything's alright..."

The World in My Hands

"How'd I end up here?"

"I'm a stranger in this body..."

"The world's an ugly place..."

"I had to disappear, so it would all just go away..."

"The end is drawing near..."

"God I wish you would've stayed..."

"I almost held the world in my hands."

Merry Axe-Mas

"If you meet Santa Claus tonight boy...You better run for your life!"

"Don't ask for Santa's forgiveness..."

"You will believe in me."

"I won't leave a witness."

"So much for a "merry" Christmas..."

"So much for a "silent" night..."

"You're a slave to your vice."

"I'm gonna find out who's naughty or nice."

"[Name]'s taking out the trash."

"It's fucking garbage day!"

Love Bites

"The softer the skin, the sharper the teeth."

"It's tearing me apart..."

"It's us or them..."

"Call the nurse, cause it's worse when I'm alone..."

"I've fallen to a curse I can't disown..."

"Is it all in my head?"

"This is love I just can't live without."

"I'm counting on beauty to kill off the beast."

"You bit off more than you could chew."

"Now it's time to put me down..."

IT is the End

"Did you hear my circus was in town?"

"It seems I have your boat here..."

"Just reach your hands down here and take it!"

"Step right this way..."

"I'm at your service with a smile"

"I've got some big fucking shoes to fill!"

"Follow me and I'll show you the truth..."

"It's more than just a costume and red balloons."

"You know what makes me smile?"

"They say laughter's the best medicine!"

Your Number's Up

"I'm sorry sir, but I think you have the wrong number."

Tell me your name and I'll tell you mine."

"I wanna know who I'm looking at."

"Don't you know not to ask those questions?!"

"What will become of me?"

"You ought to know it's a sure death sentence!"

"Have you not seen this movie?!"

"I won't fall victim to the blade!"

"I wanna see what your insides look like..."

"How could you be so evil?!"

"Bitch, I'll leave your body on the cutting room floor!"

"All bets are off, I just buried [Name]!"

"Just let me go!"

"The call's still listed as unknown..."

[tech-sapphy]

hi dndads fans

…okay y’all here’s how oakworthy can still win-

---

Normal was sobbing. 

His son was sobbing over the body of this other kid, holding tightly onto him. A kid who Sparrow had only ever heard about in passing.

Sparrow wasn’t stupid, he knew his son… and he knew that look. It's not just grief.

Plus, it doesn’t take a genius to piece it all together after hearing that kid’s parting words.

Seeing a kid who was his son’s age lying on the ground, cold, pale, and unmoving… for a split second he almost pictured Normal in his place. It hit him, now, just how wrong it was to ever let his kids get dragged into this mess he created. He couldn’t undo all the trauma that was done to them. Their kids were too deeply implicated now. He knew that he and the guys wouldn’t be able to fix all of this on their own.

… But Sparrow could still fix something.

And when he saw his son put his head to this kid’s chest, clearly trying to hear a heartbeat, something, anything? And saw the way that Normal only cried more as the seconds passed?

It was a nearly instantaneous decision on Sparrow’s part. Thank everything he still had a couple spell slots left.

He didn't notice normal glare at him, nor did he notice the way it shifted into shock when Sparrow put a hand on Hermie’s shoulder and cast revivify.

——

He was breathing. 

Hermie was breathing and the color was returning to his face.

Sighs and looks of relief from Scary, Linc, and Taylor were loud and evident, and Normal felt his dad putting a hand on his shoulder and felt a little better. But all of it was an afterthought. Nothing else mattered as he now had the energy to pull Hermie into a hug. A gentle one, considering how weak he was, but a hug nonetheless. One where he could feel and hear Hermie breathing.

It’d be too awkward to put his head on his chest again now that he was conscious, as tempting as it was, so Normal settled for putting his head in the crook of his shoulder, feeling his pulse and listening to the sound of his breathing.

He had one spell slot left, and his dad’s healing is what gave him the dredges of strength he needed to cast cure wounds on hermie. Normal felt him start to breathe a little more steadily. He felt Hermie's head moving around slightly, probably trying to figure out what was going on. Maybe it was selfish for him to still be holding onto him, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He was alive. 

Would it be nice to know if he actually meant what he said? If they could kiss and have this trauma all go away? Yeah. But after seeing Hermie lying cold and dead in his arms, Normal would take whatever he could get, as long as he was okay. 

So he started to move away from the hug and gently set Hermie down.

But then he caught a glance of a smirk-adjacent smile on Hermie’s face, right before Normal felt Hermie's arms wrap around him and pull him back in.

He felt a hand on the back of his head, and then heard a whisper; meant only for the two of them to hear.

"We have seriously gotta stop meeting like this."

Normal broke out into laughter, crinkling his eyes shut. Of course he’d bring this back.

When he opened his eyes again, his heart started racing even more. They’re so close together. It’d be so easy to put a hand on his cheek, and just lean in a little more.

He doesn’t want to hesitate anymore.

It looks like Hermie doesn’t either.

It only takes a slight move forward for them to finally meet in a kiss. Just like a musical reprise. They had gone through literal hell and back and finally found a way back to each other.

It was messy, they were covered in blood and surrounded by hellfire for a little while back there… 

But at this point, that mess was starting to feel like home. 

Maybe Hermie would, too.

——

That night, Normal was tossing and turning.

Finally back in San Dimas, he was in his own bed. But he couldn’t sleep.

He knew Hermie was alive and fine, staying over with Taylor for now, but… all he could see and think about was his slumped over, cold body. 

Yeah, he wasn’t sleeping tonight. Unless-

He plucked his phone from his nightstand. No notifications, but for once, he didn’t care that there wasn’t anyone reaching out to him. Because he was going to do it himself.

hermie 🎭💕

hermie!! are you awake?

He stared, waiting for a response. 

…

Maybe he shouldn’t have reached out at all. of course Hermie was sleeping, or maybe he wasn’t, after everything, and yeah, they kissed, but maybe he wanted to be alone after everything, oh god he was being clingy again, why couldn’t he just-

Of course

Oh. okay. So he probably wasn’t angry at him, even if he did wake him up. That's good. 

Now he just has to figure out how to ask him if he can come over without it sounding weird. Maybe when he has reassurance that he really is still alive, normal will finally be able to rest a little. 

can’t sleep :(

After all of -that-, who possibly could?

can i come over?

darn it, he couldn't help it, he just had to ask. quickly, he sent a clarifying text.

if you're okay with it!!! i just wanna see you and make sure you’re okay!! 

Well, I'm texting you, so clearly I'm okay.

But maybe I want to see you too

That was all the affirmative Normal needed. He grabbed his jacket which had his house keys already in the pocket, glad Taylor’s house was within walking distance.

be there in five!!

Door will be unlocked. I’ll be there.

Or maybe I won’t. You’ll have to come here to see.

—

Normal rushed over, antsy and anxious, only to pause at the front door.

He hadn’t thought this far ahead- what was he supposed to do?

Definitely not ring the doorbell. Knock? No, Taylor's a light sleeper. 

Uhh…. 

He would go throw rocks at Hermie's window, if only he knew which window was his.

He was starting to write out a text to Hermie letting him know he was there, but the door opened while he was writing it.

Hermie, looking bedraggled and tired, was smiling. it wasn’t a grin or a smirk. A smile. A small one, but it looked genuine, and he held the door open to invite him in. 

Hermie's smile was infectious, and he grabbed Normal’s hand, leading him to sit down on the couch.

Normal resisted every urge to just hug him right then and there, instead holding out his arms as a gesture.

Hermie must’ve been exhausted, because he fell into Normal’s arms immediately. 

As they cuddled up together, Normal leaning back on the arm of the couch so Hermie had more room to comfortably lay down, he finally gathered his nerves. Hermie wanted him there, after all, so… he liked him. it was mutual.

“Can I listen to your heartbeat?”

Silence. Normal’s nerves twisted back together.

‘Oh no, that’s stupid, That must be weird, you can say no if you want, I’m sorry Hermie, I know you’re having a hard time, I don’t want you to feel like-‘

Hermie just looked up at him and pointed upstairs.

“Shush, you’re getting loud. They’re still asleep.”

Normal’s heart dropped a little. 

“Right, sorry-”

“And stop apologizing.” Hermie said as he scooted back up, holding out his arms to Normal. An invitation of his own.

It would’ve been embarrassing how quickly Normal hugged him, if not for the pure relief he felt hearing the steady rhythm of his heartbeat again. He was alive, and here, and alright.

That's what gave him the strength to lean back into the arm of the couch and pull Hermie back into a position where he was laying down in Normal’s arms. As a reassurance.

“I’m sorry-”

“I told you to stop apologiziiiing.” Hermie sang in his little sing-song cadence. Normal let him, but continued with his apology regardless.

“I’m sorry for letting that happen to you, Hermie. I promise, I'll notice you next time. And I won't let that happen again.”

Silence, again. 

…Hermie hugged him tighter. 

“Well, well, well. A true knight, you are.”

Normal caught a little waver in his voice when he said that. He smiled, happy that Hermie liked him back and that he was helping Hermie by being there. In a surge of affection, he kissed him on the forehead.

“For you? Always.”

—

And if Cassandra found them asleep on the couch in the morning, cuddled close together?

Well, considering everything Taylor had told her about what went down yesterday… that was no one else’s business. She just put a blanket over them before leaving.

[despazito]

wish script doctor bc i feel like this movie could've been a lot stronger with some things altered. like i dont even think it needs a complete story overhaul, a handful of changes could make it much tighter imo

asha does not live so close to central rosas, but a village on the outskirts of the kingdom, and this will be her first time venturing to see the mythical king in person.

not all wishes are equal in this magic system. selfish and shallow wishes do not contain much power, but noble and selfless wishes are very strong. (also i don't see the point of forgetting your wish you made?)

the grandad was animated way too in shape for 100 years old, make him weaker and frail. hell, put him on his death bed to raise the stakes.

perhaps have asha's grandfather be an esteemed but very humble scholar or medicine healer whose dying wish is to establish a library or hospital for the local people (or something). asha believes that if she meets with king magnifico herself, she can convince him to grant her grandfathers' wish. she believes she can do this because an old childhood friend of hers now works in the castle as his aid.

asha travels to rosas and meets her friend dahlia. expecting her to be very close to the king, dahlia sheepishly admits to being a much lower ranked servant who hardly ever sees the king in person, but still sneaks asha in to show her around the castle because she's such a fan of magnifico + introduce asha to all her friends/coworkers.

have dahlia be the only primary friend, relegate the rest of the lot to the background. we don't need much time with them all, use it to strengthen other relationships.

asha attends a wish granting ceremony and magnifico does not grant grandad's wish. after the event asha uses a sneaky corridor that she just learnt to ambush magnifico and plead her case to him. away from the crowd he goes mask off and tells her to fuck off, asha narrowly escapes his guards.

defeated, she sings her I Wish song and we meet the star.

instead of the short guy, have valentino play the grouchy foil. valentino hates the star, and they have slapstick together. hell if disney wants to be meta, have him resent the star for turning him into a funny talking animal or something.

dahlia is the only one who believes asha when she tells her about meeting the wishing star. the other friends think she's some kind of lunatic from out of town until they see the star for themselves.

have queen amaya be equally self absorbed as king magnifico and together act as an evil couple like in the concept art. she enjoys the luxury of being a self-made monarch and throws lavish balls and pampers her shitty cats or something. make them evil and campy together like mink stole and david lochary in a john waters film (we've had a villain based on divine, now its their turn)

alternatively, amaya can still have a redemption, but later on in the third act. perhaps she's vain and perfectly content with a certain level of fraud until magnifico crosses a line. have magnifico explain to her long ago that he gets strength from the wishes, but he only culls the shitty wishes bad people make. amaya thinks its reasonable that he crushes the wishes of bad people and people who "deserve" it. but selfish wishes aren't as powerful, and as magnifico begins to crave more and more power, he begins taking more innocent wishes to power himself. maybe he finally crushes the wish of some sick kid or asha's grandfather and that finally snaps amaya into realizing what they're doing has become completely irredeemable. i know disney is allergic to writing romance now so have asha stay single and instead take some time to explore this romantic relationship.

asha & co. defeat magnifico with the power of friendship or whatever, maybe even have the final final part of the battle be between magnifico vs amaya as asha rushes to care for her grandfather after his wish was just crushed. or magnifico goes full magical sorcerer and explodes asha's family home or something

everyone in rosas realizes they don't need magnifico to live their dreams and together (with some pitching in from a now queen-regent amaya) asha is able to build the library/school/hospital/insert public service building her grandad always wanted. amaya hangs the magnifico mirror above her cats' litter boxes. the end

[luvly-writer]

"But oh..Cara Mia"

Ch. 10 Tensions Rising

——————————————-

Dick Grayson x Latina! Reader

Warnings:

Status: Ongoing

Author's note: If you haven't seen the ask I responded to, I wanted to apologize for my lack of activity. I have been busy with university and life overall, and any time I get free, I have been too exhausted to even write. I hope all of you are alright! And cheers to a new chapter. Hope you all enjoy, always excited to see your feedback and know how I can improve! LOVE YOU ALL!

Taglist: @lorosette @nanas-teatime @prettyacademia00 @mxtokko @sarahkaliii @w31rdg1rl @Eurydicegrimes @writing-for-the-hell-of-it

Series Masterlist:

——————————————-

BY THE WAY!!!! I managed to edit some of the pictures that I placed for Calvary's suit. I changed the colors so that you could have a clearer visualization. LOTS OF LOVE! (Creds to original artist)

I did want to change something in the story, which was that YN has always worn the B suit, even now. You'll see why in this chapter.

The only difference is that the headpieces are exchanged.

——————————————-

You had managed to convince Diana to stay a few more days, trying to avoid the inevitable. You remember the look she had given you, perplexed by your request, but she agreed nonetheless. As of today, you had spent a big portion of it sparring with Artemis and soon you were going to meet up with Cassie to go on a swim. When you were walking back to your room after the swim, you bumped into Diana. "Just who I was looking for. You are needed in Gotham and you must leave as soon as possible. Bruce found something about the case and said your presence there was required." she said and saw the hesitation in your eyes. "I know you are troubled about this Tamaranian girl, but you know what I taught you" and you nod and mutter, "Responsibility and duty before selfishness" and Diana nods and takes your face in her hands "You have to go and face it once in for all. My dove, it will be fine. The gala will be in two weeks and we will meet again. I know this matter of your heart plagues you greatly and it pains me to see you so down, but you have a duty to Gotham and a promise to fulfill to Batman. Once the case is solved, if the troubles are too unbearable, you can always come back to New York with me and stay for some time." You nod and sigh. She kisses your head and lets you go into your room, change and pack.

You are about to board Diana's invisible jet when she stops you, "Wear your new armor" she says. You had always worn the full suit that you had ever since you were a kid, with the exception of the upgrades that you would add throughout the years. But, on this visit, Hippolyta insisted on gifting you a new suit. (You didn't know that Diana had mentioned your doubts about your status as an Amazon Princess and she would not have it. Her granddaughter SHOULD NEVER question her place in their family. She was an Amazon through and through, no space for doubts.) She had used the excuse that you were of age and it was unacceptable that you looked more like a bat than a wonder. You were a princess for heaven's sake, look like one. You had accepted it gratefully and wore it all throughout your stay. You had to admit, YOU LOOKED GOOD IN IT. You look at Diana questionably. She smirks and answers your silent question, "An Amazon always looks best with her armor." You quickly understand what she meant. Diana had made it her personal mission to make sure you understood that you weren't inferior that a Tamaranian princess and that you hold just enough worth as her. You nod with a smile and change quickly.

Once you are back, Artemis, Hippolyta, Cassie, and Diana are there to see you go. They all smile as you walk towards them, ready to say your goodbyes. You hug each one of them, leaving Diana for last. You notice she is holding something behind her back and once you look at her questionably, she holds her hands out and you gasp. A headpiece similar to the one she wears is presented to you. She places it on your head and kisses your forehead, "A worthy woman through and through, always enough for anything she puts her mind and heart to" and hugs you. You get on the jet smiling, happy with the support you always get from your girls, and begin to pilot it towards Gotham.

As they watch the jet leave, Hippolyta turns to her daughter displeased, "All her self-worth torn because of a man, Diana?" and Diana turned to her surprised. Hippolyta looks at her and laughs, "What? I am your mother. The same way Yn can't hide anything from you, YOU can't hide anything from me." and Diana chuckles "She loves him mother, and he loves her. He just needs a push to recognize it." Hippolyta humps in dissaprovement, "Well, he better be worth it! My grandchild deserves nothing but the best!" and Diana laughs in agreement with her mother. You truly do deserve the best.

You arrived in New York and landed on the roof of your mother's penthouse. You head towards the Zeta tube and stand before it nervous hell of what you will see on the other side. Well, Yn...its now or never.

These last few weeks had been torture for Damian, his mission had been fucking impossible. Dick left and Yn was there, but then Yn left and Dick came back WITH SOMEONE ELSE. Oh, Damian was not pleased. How dare Dick fuck up his plan. How could he?!?!?!? AND WHERE IN BATMAN'S GOOD GRACES WAS YN?!?!?! A deep scowl could be seen constantly on Damian's face, worst than the one he usually had. When Dick arrived with Kory announcing that they were back together, everyone tensed up. Tim and Duke exchanged worried glances. The color drained from Barbara's face. Jason cursed, and Stephanie's jaw dropped. It took Cass closing her mouth for her to snap out of it. They all mustered up fake (but surprisingly convincing) cheers and congratulations for them, yet as soon as Dick left, pulling Kory to his room, hell broke loose.

"I THOUGHT SHIT WAS GOOD WITH YN" screamed Steph

"We were almost there..." said Duke

"I knew something like this would happen cause of Kory's urgency to have Dick back with the Titans" muttered Jason

"And his urgency to leave" agreed Tim

"I have to warn Yn, she's supposed to fly here tomorrow" said Barbara hurridly and left to call YN

"he is running away from how he feels" seethed Damian and everyone stopped. No one had thought about that. "The coward slips back to comfortable because he won't face them!" continued Damian highly displeased and everyone sighed. These were going to be some tiresome weeks. And exhausting they were. They had missed Yn more than ever. Dick was unbearable, flaunting his relationship, excessive PDA and flirting, always mentioning Kory, they were sick of it. They decided to host another meeting in honor of the new...obstacle....

"Yn and Kory have never met face to face" muttered Barbara and everyone looked at her shocked. "WHAT?!" let out half of them and Barbara nodded, "They have heard of each other but never met face to face. With Kory always in Jump City and Yn alternating between NYC and Gotham, their paths never crossed. So, brace yourselves. I don't even know how shit will go down." Oh, what a mess did they find themsleves in.

Everyone had slipped into a routine of being cordial and kind to Kory, they weren't going to treat the girl bad just because they had an obvious bias, please, they weren't savages. Everyone except Damian. His bias was clear. Plus his lack of people skills came to play. He would answer drily, sometimes only giving a nod to her. He would only spend time with Dick if he was alone. He was not pleased because his mission was ALMOST there and now backtracked by a lot. He was anxious for Yn's return. It was definitely because of his mission and not because he had started to develop a similar attachment to the one he had with Dick with her. Obviously NOT. He did NOT start seeing her as a sister, that is preposterous to even assume. Safe to say, Damian was grumpier than normal. When his father sent a message to Diana, asking Yn to come back urgently, he had been relieved. She would be back.

Now, standing next to his siblings and Kory, they were discussing their next move. They had gotten sight of the poison in one of Penguin's clubs and noticed this could possibly be a bigger threat than they had thought. Not only were Riddler and Scarecrow involved, but now Penguin was added to the mix. They needed to work fast to gain the upper hand and it was proving difficult with a certain scientist gone. They were all suggesting strategies on what to do next and Kory would try to give her input every once in a while. At first, it didn't bother anyone, but then they started to get angsty. It was a common unspoken law amongst heroes that when working in Gotham, ALWAYS LET THE BATS LEAD AND JUST FOLLOW. As a matter of fact, it was known that when working in a city that's not yours, let the residents have the lead and give input when asked. After all, who knew their villains better than the locals. They understood she was trying to be helpful but it was interrupting more than actually helpful. They were holding back for the sake of not being mean to Dick's partner and their guest (Alfred always taught them good hosting manners). Yet, unlike the others, Damian's patience had run out. "Would you quit it" he said drily after another one of Kory's (unhelpful) inputs. Kory's eyes widened and Bruce and Dick went to reprimand him, but he stood his ground, "These are not your criminals, so I would find it most helpful if you remained quiet." They had all widened their eyes. Dick once again turned to scold him, but again, Damian was having none of it. "Grayson, she is a guest. Not a regular, I think we can manage just fine" Just as Dick went to scold him once again the sound of someone arriving by the Zeta Tuve was heard.

[bbobpul]

hell of an oddball

NOTE. fifth email 🤧 reblog, like, and follow @medyowriter

PAIRING. hoshi x you

GENRE. angst, hurt/comfort

WARNINGS. language alluding to death, mention of unnamed chronic illness

list of emails i can't send

masterlist

if you want to be a part of this series' taglist, like this post

from. you@svtmail.com

to. kwonsy@svtmail.com

subject. emails i can't send 5/13

hoshi kwon, thank you

the drought was the very worst. even before you became a part of my life, it felt as though every gentle breeze that graced my face carried an unseen layer of grime, imperceptible to my eyes. i felt as if every person i passed by could somehow discern my age and recognize the lack of achievement by the time i reached 27.

high school marked a period when i held a specific disdain for you. you were the peculiar individual who boldly challenged teachers to dance, as if you were close to their age. you were an unusual presence, appearing only at special school events. but despite my hatred, i couldn't resist sneaking glances in your direction. maybe because it was your unyielding nonconformity, causing disruption every semester we shared. you were a hell of an oddball.

then, more than a decade later, i saw you again on my third day in switzerland.

it was like meeting an entirely different person with the same face and name as you. you changed a lot, or should i say, you had matured.

honestly, when you greeted me, i half-expected you to challenge me to dance in the middle of zurich's streets. jokes aside, you had evolved far beyond the quirky high school kid i once knew. you had become a psychologist, a revelation that took me by surprise, but you had always been unpredictable.

you mentioned your plans to embark on a global exploration journey, ticking off every location on your bucket list before your special day. however, the nature of that special day remained unclear until now.

we explored every corner of the country, often without a specific destination in mind. during our journey, we learned more about each other. you learned that i quit my job because it starts to feel unfulfilling and you were the first person to congratulate me for doing so. to my astonishment, i discovered that, despite your profession as a psychologist, you had defied your parents' protest to build your own dance studio.

we openly shared the changes that had unfolded in our lives over the past decade, a time during which we hadn't crossed paths. it felt as though i had known you for two decades, even though it had only been two weeks.

throughout our trip, i had been your designated driver since you still hadn't learned to drive. however, on our final day in switzerland, you made an unusual request, asking me to drive you to a specific place - dignitas house.

and in that moment, everything became clear.

the drive to dignitas house was marked by an eerie silence. you decided to break it, revealing your chronic illness that has been giving you hell. that was the moment i knew.

just hours before your scheduled passing, i had been holding your hand, begging you to come home with me. i couldn't summon any more tears, and i didn't want to be selfish, so i simply stayed there by your side. in the end, i went home alone.

hoshi, you truly are a hell of an oddball.

you needed company, and i'm grateful to have been the one to provide it.

so, from the depths of my heart, thank you.

those days in switzerland were a great realization that life just happens, just like that, and it's inevitable.

 

thank you for spending two weeks in switzerland with me. in those two weeks, we slowly let go of all the hurdles in our lives, and by morning, gone was any trace of blues, and we could, after the long run, say that we were finally clean.

sincerely,

your travel buddy

TAGLIST. @matchahyuck @minhui896 @hongmingoo @strawberryshortcakes-blog @lleercy @wonwooz1 @mhlsymlysn

[yellowocaballero]

milagro!!! i LOVE GL!milagro stuff. is guy still the first GL she meets? i am v curious what his story (and john’s) ends up looking like in this au in general, but my first exposure to him was in jaime’s bb run so i’m hoping that pseudo mentorship still exists here somehow

IS!! THAT!! A GIANT!! GREEN!! FIST!!

Green Lantern Milagro is the most god-tier take and we need to return to it. My "Kyle rebuilds the GLC to be woke and Milagro is the most feral Lantern" idea is actually super old - I think it's in the Reverse Robins Universe, in some unpublished stories - but it's still good. Let the furries make the judicial system. Do it. Let them free.

Let's say:

Guy Gardner was the second Green Lantern on Earth. Everything that Hal was, Guy is not. He's a hothead, meathead, go-getting action hero wannabe who has to be the biggest, the best, and the strongest. He's abrasive, selfish, mean, and short-sighted.

Guy Gardner is exactly like Hal Jordan: an All-American hero, angry and rude in a way that his colleague John Stewart could never get away with. He's part of the NRA and thinks Trump has some points. Too wimpy to make a good President, though. Give him a President who can last five minutes in the ring with Guy Gardner!

Despite his differences with the more professional and cool-headed Hal, he was shocked and horrified at Coast City's destruction. Where other heroes expressed sympathies and turned away in discomfort with his overwhelming pain, Guy stayed with him. He doesn't like to spread it around, but he's a registered school councilor - doubled with his middle school gym teacher thing - and he stayed at Hal's side through his grief as long as Hal let him.

When Hal disappeared, Guy was the one who knew in his heart that he had killed himself. He had been expecting it.

He had not been expecting his ring to break.

Guy loses it all. His power, his respect. He can't go back to who he used to be. He's not a gym teacher or school counselor anymore. He's Guy Gardner. You can't ask Guy Gardner to be a civvie.

The only thing he keeps is his Justice League International membership. He wanted to quit, but his friends (family, but none of them would admit it) needed him to stay. They had already lost the second Blue Beetle so recently, and they can't lose anybody else. Booster Gold's grieving his husband too. In that way, in some way, Guy's still needed. Guy has to be needed. But Guy has to be a hero too, and he feels like he's dying slowly by degrees in powerlessness.

Then Booster calls the JLI, drunk as a skunk and deep in a panic, saying that there's this kid in El Paso running around with Dan Garret's scarab in his SPINE, how did this even HAPPEN, how did he get it WORKING, where the hell is TED - Ted's dead, he's still dead, what the FUCK do we do, he's a baby he's gonna DIE TOO, everyone's gonna DIE -

A gym teacher and licensed counselor knocks on he door of a house in El Paso.

Booster was right. Jaime Reyes is a snot-nosed kid who's getting his ass kicked up and down to Sunday in every fight, and either he's gonna get himself killed or he's gonna blow up the city. Nobody else but the JLI ever gave a shit about Ted, and nobody's gonna give a shit about this kid with an orphaned legacy. He needs a personal trainer and mentor and he needs one right now. Jaime Reyes needs a hero, even a washed up old asshole like Guy Gardner.

And his little sister throws a heck of a punch. Oh, Guy is keeping Milagro. She's learning boxing!

An asshole, shallow kid enters the scene. A new ring appears. The last Green Lantern disappears to find the truth. Guy leads his own life. It's not like his old one, but it's good. That kid Jaime's become a good hero, and his little sister is the coolest kid on the planet. A Trumper on the street says something shitty to Jaime and Milagro about illegals and Guy lands on him the signature Guy Gardner punch. Trump's an asshole idiot, anyway. Next time, Milagro lands the signature punch. She has learned well.

A young man returns. A truth is told. A fucked up orange ring is on Guy's finger. And now he'll have to learn how to be a hero all over again.

The orange ring isn't powered by bravery and willpower. It's powered by greed. It's a greedy, cruel ring. It's mean. But Guy's pretty greedy too. And Guy's a mean son of a bitch.

Guy Gardner is the first Orange Lantern. And he's everything Hal Jordan is not: a man with a voracious need to protect and help. A man with an endless appetite for love, and to give love. A school counselor, and a mentor to some pretty nifty kids. Guy can never get enough of being a hero. He'll never stop. And he'll always help.

Because he's Guy fucking Gardner!

[tiajk]

Maze runner x reader

Thomas x fem! reader x newt x Minho

I will be making a male Version and gender neutral version of this I want people of other genders to enjoy this alswell

a/n: in this i made everyone bi sexual and your all in poly relationship they all don’t just love y/n and still consider each other as friends they all love each other in a intimate way

Our love has no bounds

Warnings: fluff, angst, crack, polyamorous, death, crack, jealousy, janson (ew)

so basically your all in the maze your the maze you don't remember anything it’s weird and you hate it (i mean who would like it)

Your one of the ones that come up in the beginning like for instance it’s only like 5 of you there that five being you newt Alby Winston and gally then the new greenie comes up it’s Minho since Alby was busy at the moment you gave him the tour the kid was barely taller than you (In this part your 5’2 but u can say you grow taller as the years because I’m making it 4 years instead of 3 that they were in the maze) and he was quiet , shy even but all that went away when you smiled at him and he smiled back “damn he has a cute eye smile” (EYE SMILES ARE MY WEAKNESSES ISTG)

You took him took kitchen at the moment you were all the cooks until someone came up and was the best cook

You ended the tour off by saying “all right greenie this is the last part of the tour if u need anything let me newt or Alby know okay?” “Mi…” you we’re confused he said something but u didn’t hear it “what” “my name it’s Minho” you smirked and out your hand out to him “well Minho nice to meet you”

So after that you and minho got closer along with newt tagging along and getting closer

As more and more greenies came up they realized one thing that they love you and they love each other

But you didn't want to admit it you just couldn’t having a crush on 2 boys was bad and you thought you were selfish because of it with you being a runner it was upsetting and you just wanted to focus on getting out of there

Okay i’m done building this character development

When thomas came you newt and minho were already in a relationship (like in my last maze runner idea thomas was there for 3 months instead of 3 days)

He was staring at newt hard asf like you all did to be honest look at him

Thomas had taken a liking to all of you when you ben and minho and run in the maze when he tried to go in he was staring at you and minho hardddd like when i say hard i mean hard and i'm not gonna lie you guys were too

Okay onto the relationship

cuddles IMMACULATE they’re all so warm

But everyone in the glade is accepting asf like were all family here

Sometimes yall be in the map room doing things…..

Chuck being your number #1 supporter

When thomas become a runner you and minho pranked him as a joke and he was mad but you guys made it up to him by cuddling him and giving him attention

There's a joke around the glade that newts the little housewife and it's funny as hell

Stargazing together like i could imagine one of you were having a bad day and they boys and you plans to go stargazing and its amazing

Newt kissing you minho and thomas goodbye as you go into the maze for the day

Winston being your best friend along with gally,ben,ably and chuck

You two gossiping him about your relationships (i lowkey cannon ben x winston dont judge me they deserve more love)

When chuck died you sobbed out loudly he was like a brother to you no one or anything could replace that from you that piece of your heart was gone and you could never forgot it

When you guys break out of the maze all of you being protective asf towards each other

While going into the wicked facility you guys holding each others hand and giving each other looks as a way of staying “be careful and stay safe”

So while they didn’t take you with teresa they didn’t really want to for some reason you were thankful and it made you happy you could be with your boys and your friends finally being safe or what you thought was safe

Even after you guys escaped you were all still holding on to each other scared you were going to lose each other and you couldn’t have that not when you lost so many already

[naoa-ao3]

The Kids are Alright

Gemma's got a boyfriend and Cheryl isn't sure what to think about him. Worried she calls her brother but Gemma's new boyfriend seems to be playing a game all of his own and neither adult knows what to think. Is John heading off against another magician or is the boy just a little smarmy? When his niece is involved the difference doesn't seem so great.

Gemma's got a boyfriend and Cheryl is concerned.

The boy is nothing but smiles and friendly comments, he helps around the house when he comes over and he's everything she should be wanting for her daughter except he isn't. There's just something off about him. Something she can't put her finger on.

Maybe if things were different and Tony. . . well fuck if things were different then she wouldn't have to feel this way all on her own.

Alan however is always smiling and charming and she wants to like him so very much except she just doesn't.

Gemma get's angry when she mentions it. She wants to live her life and she wants to make her own decisions and Cheryl remembers what that's like. She wants to let her but Alan is starting to creep her out and she can't say why and that just seems to piss Gemma off.

She never imagined her daughter ever being angry. When she was a baby she seemed so happy but like all Constantines she eventually got her share of the bad and now Cheryl just hopes she'll finish school.

She wonders sometimes if Gemma can picture her when she was her age. She does know what it's like to be young. She had a whole world of hell to live with back then. . . she doesn't tell Gemma this, let her think her grandad was a good one. Keep the demons down and the doors locked.

In the end she calls her brother, the only person left now who remembers her at Gemma's age. The only person who knows what kind of hell went on behind their own closed door.

He's cheerful when he picks up, talking animatedly until he senses something's wrong.

"It's Gemma, she's got herself a boyfriend." She say's.

He laughs but it's shallow. "You don't sound too glad of that." He say's. "What's the trouble?"

She shakes her head and sighs. "I don't know. He just bothers me. There's nothing wrong with him, he's polite, he's nice, he seems to treat her right I just don't know."

"Does she like him?" He asks.

She sighs. "I've never seen her like this. Maybe that's it. She's growing up. I don't know John I just. . ."

Maybe it's her voice but he clears his throat, reminding her of when they were kids. "You want me to come by?" He asks. "Maybe meet the lad and see what he's about?"

She nods. "Would you?"

It's selfish. John is on the other side of the country. He doesn't need to come all the way here just because she can't the number on a teenage boy.

Who could though?

Yet he does come, right as Gemma and Alan get out of school.

He's in her kitchen when they come home and Cheryl see's Gemma smile. It's not the same smile from when she was little. She used to adore her uncle but Cheryl thinks in recent years she's started to get a little cold with him.

Maybe it's just moody teenage years, lord knows she had them herself.

It was different then though, back then she'd have done just about anything she could not to stay in the house. She'd hated it there. Her drunk dad and her brother always in trouble. She'd gone out with school friends and boys who'd thought she was pretty. Left them to the stink of drink and their misery.

John shakes Alan's hand and the boy smiles, polite and charming as ever.

"You must be the uncle." He say's. "Very pleased to meet you."

John shrugs. "Gemma told you about me?" He asks.

The boy nods, pearly, white teeth showing. "She did indeed. Gemma spoke very highly of you, sir."

Her little brother who used to steal her make up and use it for paints put's his hands up. "Easy with the 'sir' stuff." He say's. "I'm not that old."

"Oh no sir, didn't mean it like that." Alan say's and there's just something Cheryl doesn't like about him.

They let the kid's go into the sitting room and stay at the kitchen table.

"What do you think?" She asks, her cup of tea cold in front of her.

There's a chip on the table.

One of Tony's leavings.

John shrugs. "Seem's like a descent kid to me." He say's. "Trying a bit hard but that doesn't make him bad."

She taps her knuckles on the table. "Maybe I'm crazy." She say's. "But John I swear it. There's something about that boy."

He softens a little. "I'll spend a few days, try and talk to him. I suppose he comes round a bit then?"

She nods. "Funny, I've never met his parents. He doesn't really talk about them but they're kids so I try not to pry. . ."

John gives her hand a squeeze. "I'll stay a few days." He say's and she's glad of him, grateful for him.

Glad and grateful she's not alone.

She wonders if John knows some of the thoughts that live in her head, the memories and the awful little things from their childhood she can't forget. The paint on their front door and the floor boards that squealed. . . the anger inside.

She's made a good life for herself, had a family even if it's turned to shit of late.

John's the last link to who she was then and she's always loved him. She thinks he might be why she did so well with Gemma. . . she got a trial run on her baby brother. Had to raise him in some ways because dad wasn't going to do it.

Now she's just a mum worried about her kid and her brother is the only one she knows she can turn to.

She worries about Alan but she'll get her brother's opinion before she makes up her mind, after all mums are supposed to worry so maybe it's all just normal.

[spnwin-reader]

Loss in common:

Enter Millie, The Prickly-but-Hopeful Fixer

[We note that, even after all this time, Millie's building carries the MoL Aquarian star of protection, and it's still Winchester Garage, not...whatever-her-maiden-name is.]

When we first meet Millie, she's bitter. As the one who "kept the lantern on," "the one who stayed," she's hurt and defensive, a lot like how Dean grows to be in latter seasons of SPN.

(Even post-demonicity, Dean is still expected to be the soft place to fall for everyone. Even after Jack kills Mary, Cas has this expectation of Dean's soft-heartedness: "it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on.")

Anyway, Millie!

Her reunion with John is part passive-aggressive but loving. We see that Millie, like Dean, has intense abandonment trauma. She speaks abrasively-but-affectionately. She calls John "Kid, Kiddo, etc." which was a go-to with Dean for both Claire Novak and Jack Kline.

JOHN: Love what you've done with the place. MILLIE (passive-aggressive): Well, my husband and son walked out on me, so. It's the best I could do. (growing emotional) Dammit. Welcome home, Kiddo.

Gruff, abrasive, imperfect? Maybe. But full of love.

Alt John and Millie are united by the common loss of Henry, just as Prime John, Sam, and Dean were united by the common loss of Mary.

John thinks Henry walked out on them, but I think Millie is likely more complex. With her tacit knowledge of the Men of Letters, I think it's reasonable that she at least suspects that he might be dead.

What does that tell us about her? It tells us that the loss of Henry was unbelievably painful--it's probably easier for her to consider he left than the very likely truth: his demise.

She's a fixer. That's what she does.

She holds out hopeless hope.

JOHN: I'm fine, Mom. MILLIE: The Hell you are. You've been chasing your dad since he walked out that door. I know that's why you enlisted. But it is time to let the past go, kiddo.

But Millie isn't healed either. She hasn't let the past go, even as she pursues her dream of being a mechanic and owning a garage (like her father). Letting the past go hasn't helped her heal.

In fact, carrying on hunting and the MoL business is what seems to soothe her loss, giving her new meaning and purpose. Millie and John's push-pull dynamic with hunting is much like how it was with Ellen and Jo Harvelle.

///

But overall, we see what Henry's absence wrought. It's just as Henry feared in SPN Prime (9x17 Mother's Little Helper):

HENRY: Therein lies the problem. As our initiation grows closer, I... I worry that this might be a selfish endeavor on my part. JOSIE: Selfish. How? HENRY: If anything were to happen to me, what of John? Millie? JOSIE: They'd be proud to know that you answered the call. HENRY: No. My wife would be a widow, and my son fatherless. I don't expect you to understand. You don't have a fam--[he pauses] I'm sorry, Josie. I didn't mean it that way. JOSIE: I know, Henry. You're a good man. Millie is lucky to have you.

This directly parallels Cas and his allegiance to his work, Heaven, (Heaven is a truck, and Cas is a truck-driver; Dean thinks he's Josie when he's actually Millie).

It also beings to mind the visual of ("little John") Jack's entrance as he wanders around muttering, "Father. Fa-ther. Father. I need to find him. Castiel. He was supposed to be here," while looking for his long-expected, lost father in 13x01 Lost and Found.

But it's also an off-key parallel to prime John, who would become as Millie was, a bereft widower in the cold, floundering and ill-equipped to handle the dangers of the supernatural world.

///

Enter Mary, Action Hero

(Note: Mary's got a short range, so I love how she uses speed to her advantage to get larger targets off-balance.)

///

And importantly, John...is NOT allowed to look cool. It's a RULE. He's a dorky...little...guy.

Mary knocks the demon into a blessed holy water vat, a call-forward to something prime John will do in SPNprime 01x21 Salvation.

//

When Alt John and Alt Mary meet:

Mary's father has been absent (missing) from her life for a short time, and John's father Henry has been absent for most of his life, just as when Dean and Cas meet, theirs too is a tale of missing fathers. Cas's father was absent for all of his life, and Dean's flaky dad has been gone for a (relatively) short time. It also very obviously parallels Sam and Dean searching for their missing father.

When they break inside the Men of Letters clubhouse, Mary keys into John's emotions about his father. This reminds me of of the first time Dean keyed in really hard to Cas's emotions in 5x16.

///

JOHN: How do you cope with it all? MARY (wryly, jokingly): I'll let you know when I find out. (SPNwin 1x01)

//

DEAN: Yeah, I get it. I know how you feel. CASTIEL: How do you manage it? DEAN (wryly, jokingly): On a good day, you get to kill [The Whore of Babylon]. (SPN 5x17)

///

Recent losses of friends & family:

Additionally, Mary and John have both suffered recent losses. Mary lost her narrative twin Maggie, and John lost his comrade Murph to war.

[Mary's cousin went to Hell, just as Sam's brother went to Hell in season in vintage and mid-SPN.] Mary's hunting family was torn asunder, parents separating.

And John? WIth war, John signed up to fill a void left by his father, to find meaning in life.

We can even recall Dean's words to Gordon in 2x03 Bloodlust, how Dean struggled with the idea of "The Invincible Dad" and how his death made the word more terrifying, how it left a wound of depression inside of him that he sought to fill with meaning through work:

DEAN: Yeah. Yeah, you know. He was just one of those guys. Took some terrible beatings, just kept coming. So you're always thinking to yourself, he's indestructible. He'll always be around, nothing can kill my dad. Then just like that (snaps) he's gone. I can't talk about this to Sammy. You know, I gotta keep my game face on. (clears throat) But, uh, the truth is I'm not handling it very well. Feel like I have this - GORDON: Hole inside you? And it just gets bigger and bigger and darker and darker? Good. You can use it. Keeps you hungry. Trust me. There's plenty out there needs killing, and this'll help you do it. Dean, it's not a crime to need your job.

Dean lost his dad, and Gordon lost his sister. This emptiness is depression. John lost his dad and suffered that loss all his life. He signed up to the war for the GLORY OF PURPOSE. He didn't sign up to the war for more pain and grief, but that's exactly what he got.

What's the thing Dean can't fill up, not with booze or love or even sex? It's grief and pain. It can only be filled with love, which is what Cas's confession narratively does in 15x18.

It's also what Mary's love and the love of the Core 4 will eventually do for John.

///

SPN Prime season 8 side-parallel: Connections of recent grief ALSO calls to mind season 8, how Sam connected with Amelia when they had both suffered a loss, Sam lost his narrative twin to Purgatory and Amelia lost her husband to war.

Theirs was a fast-paced reactionary relationship born of grief, something that pinged and annoyed Amelia's father, leading him to be very passive-aggressive with Sam. (Her father was a dick, but he's both a soldier himself and does know her best and probably has her best interests in mind. He recognized that was Amelia mid-freakout, OOC. He pings that her out-of-characterness is a weird reaction to grief).

He was right to be concerned about the shallowness and stability of it. These types of reactionary relationships are well-known: they can be very shaky, melodramatic, idealized, and weak when stress-tested.

Sam (and vintage Dean) both have this tendency to be all-in or all-out when it comes to The Cause. Neither strike a balance very easily. They tend to either be ALL IN for the Perfect War with Perfect War Companions at Your Side...or rushing into something tenuous that represents a weak idea that winds up unsatisfying because it's not genuine: Perfect White Picket Fence or Howling-at-the-Moon Dishibitory Party Life.

In SPNwin, John is doing a lot of running, too. He rushes into the thing with Betty (weak and tenuous), then he rushes into war, he rushes into hunting, and he runs into the relationship with Mary.

This theme of Running into Danger / Running From Danger persists. John certainly struggles with it, BUT in a departure from his past behavior, this new thing with Mary gets a lot of stress-testing, eventually moving from limerence into turbulence, power struggle, and de-idealization. (SPNwin 1x12, The Tears of a Clown)

///

SO.

Mary and her ragtag gang of friends embark on a journey to look for the missing Samuel Campbell the way Sam and Dean look for the errant John Winchester, the way the Banes twins look for their mother Tasha Banes in Twigs, Twine, & Tasha Bane.

Certainly the core 4 are all "running scared" and clinging to one another, having all lost loved ones in a variety of ways. They are united in empathy over their respective losses:

John (dad, comrades)

Mary (narrative sibling, missing dad, splintered family and parental separation)

Carlos (whole family killed by a monster)

Lata (no-contact with her family because they allowed her beloved nanny to die; nonsensical/cruel hierarchy of human society)

Ada (husband lost to madness, son potentially a puppy-destined-to-be-wolf)

And finally we get Henry's letter:

If you're reading this, then I'm gone. I'm sorry I kept the truth from you, John. There's a dangerous world out there, and our family has fought that danger for centuries. The answers to all your questions are at the address below. I love you and your mother. Always.

I think this idea of Henry Winchester as a secret-keeper, and as Mary-prime as a secret-keeper fed into what we know about John-prime turned into: a neuroses of paranoia and over-preparedness.

But thanks to Dean, Alt John has some new tools to work through this: knowledge. Even his anger is useful, openly telling his mother how disappointed and betrayed he feels over being kept in the dark. For her part, she gives him her emotional truth: that she only wanted to protect him.

It's the first healing step for both of them.

[doulayogimama]

We thought that our last flight (until we fly back to USA) was Brussels to Porto but we realized that taking a train / renting a car to get from Portugal into Southern Spain is a lot more time intensive/expensive than flying.

So! We are flying from Lisbon to Malaga on Monday 🙏🏽 We have booked 2 weeks there, which will be our longest stay in 1 place since we arrived in Europe on 12/12!

This apartment is in the best location🙌🏽 Kevin has a coworking space down the block and for Sky there is the best playground in the city just a couple blocks away. She desperately needs some routine and to see kids every day so I’m ecstatic to be in sunny Malaga where she can go to the playground / beach almost daily and it won’t be empty 😭

This is the one thing my mama heart feels shit about. This trip is for me and Kevin. Do I think instilling resiliency in kids from a young age is good for them? Yes, I honestly do. I also think exposing her to wildly different cultures from a young age is super important. BUT it’s hard to be parenting so differently from what I experienced, I do have some guilt.

My parents gave me routine, a big house, tutors, toys, nanny’s to get me whatever I wanted. But you know what I really wanted? To not be waiting up for both my parents to get home from work. To not spend every night as a young child with my nanny instead of my mom. And when I was older, I wished for parents that didn’t hand me everything on a silver platter. Because when you become an adult and realize no one else will do that for you, it’s a rude fucking awakening. When my mom was little, she was taken to every meeting / showing that her mom had after school because my Mimi was a single mother with very limited resources. As a kid, my mom dreamed of a comfortable house with a nanny to care for her while her mother went to work. So that’s what she gave us. I can’t resent her for that, that’s not what this is about. It’s about the fact that every matriarch before me thought she HAD TO sacrifice her happiness for her children’s. And that shit ends here, with me.

I wouldn’t change this trip, I don’t believe in being a martyr simply because I’m a mother. I’m sick and tired of perpetuating that story. So maybe this trip is selfish (a word that was used to describe me most of my childhood, but that I’ve taken back in adulthood to mean something else). Maybe she would be happier if we were in NY or Miami. But we are being loving parents who take care of our child WHILE working and adventuring. We are trying to stoke the fires of our souls while we raise our daughter, not putting off our dreams for some self promise of “when she’s out of our house we can live how we want to…”

Maybe she will resent this lifestyle (or more likely, she won’t remember it because she’s not even 3 yet 😅) but Kevin and I needed this. Our 1.5 years in FL was truly hell. The people… my G-d I swear I can’t even say their names without my stomach twisting.

I know that once we’re back in America, we will more than likely not leave the continent again until our second child is about the same age as Sky. I *think* I will be trying to get pregnant by the end of the year. So this trip is very much a gift to ourselves, the adults who have struggled some days to simply put one foot in front of the other. We just needed to remember that there is a big amazing world out there and we are allowed to be a part of it.