#just tsukkiyama makes me feel some type of way

[whywoulditho]

hq movie review!!!

(not spoiler-free)

went to see the haikyuu movie: dumpster battle today and i wanted to share my thoughts!!

first of all the movie had better animation than season 4 of the series! even though it stuck with the same animation style and character designs this was a much more neatly done project for sure. it felt like they had finally adapted into the style and managed to bring out the best version of it. in that sense i feel like season four was their experimental phase, if that makes sense? the movie's animation was so much smoother than i expected. i still prefer the first three seasons' style, but this wasn't bad at all in my book.

they used the same OSTs from the series as far as i've noticed, and they did make the match dramatic enough in most parts, (-we'll get to those other parts) and the voice cast did a good job as always.

they cut the arc a little shorter, trying to fit it into a 1h 30m runtime. it's a three set match so it was bound to be shorter than the five set matches like the shiratorizawa and the inarizaki matches, but it still deserved a good two hours in my opinion. you might think, well obviously they weren't going to animate every single point but honestly? furudate drew almost every single point and people READ that, on paper. we would have eaten up a two hour long movie. but well, since it's all done let's talk about what we had, and what we didn't.

the movie opened with a redrawn version of the season one scene where hinata meets kenma for the first time. it was a nice, nostalgic touch. they kept focusing on the random crow and cat they added to the background of the scene for peak symbolism and frankly i kinda loved that. i don't care that it's overdone it's still good okay? 😤

oh and even though they reanimated that first scene, there were still many instances in the movie where they cut to flashbacks from earlier seasons taken straight from the original version with the older animation style.

the first half of the movie was weaker than the second. they skipped a bunch of points and tried to only show the important lines but without the leading rallies the lines just looked kinda goofy and out of place. this one for example,

when they threw in this line i was kinda thrown off?? because like, the build up just wasn't there? does that make sense? this whole bit about yamaguchi finally catching up to tsukishima and then actually surpassing him was very well done in the manga. and it was a huge thing too, the two of them were the first page art of that volume, but the movie tried to get it over with in like, thirty seconds, i'm not even joking.

this part:

was made into a weird little slideshow type of thing that transitioned into their high five and it looked so goofy to me... i'm sorry. i just wanted them to have this moment so badly. and they did, kind of, but it wasn't all that satisfying.

also, they didn’t give us tsukkiyama having a telepathical conversation, HOW DARE YOU.

tendou and tsutomu watching the match on tsutomu's ipad was also in the movie! i was really happy to see that because that's one of my favorite things from this arc lol. though they didn’t give much of tsutomu's frustration with tendou.

the first half was pretty bland, accurate to the manga but with most inner monologue cut and some parts skipped.

through the middle they gave us the kuroken childhood flashbacks, it was cut shorter than it was in the manga. and get this, i feel like the way they delivered their childhood memories were like they wanted to make them more about kuroo's love for volleyball than exploring kuroken's bond with each other. i feel like the movie tried too hard at focusing on one thing at a time, they cut the tsukkiyama scene short because during that bit they were focusing on kenma. they cut the kuroken memories short because they were trying to focus only on kuroo.

this kept going, honestly. even though this match was ALL about parallels and the bonds these characters have with each other, friendships and rivalries. in the manga, furudate made this match about exploring ALL the dynamics he'd been building up since the beginning. it was more random, yes, but that's what made it natural. kenma and hinata's rivalry/friendship, kenma and kageyama's rivalry, yaku and nishinoya's rivalry, kuroo and daichi's rivalry, tsukishima and kuroo's mentor-student relationship, nishinoya and asahi's trust bond, whatever the fuck yamaguchi and tsukishima had going on. the man took the time to give us crumbs of all these dynamics in the middle while a volleyball game was kind of just playing in the background. i know that sounds like i'm saying playing volleyball wasn't the main point, that's because that is what i'm saying. inarizaki v karasuno was about volleyball. shiratorizawa v karasuno was about volleyball. nekoma v karasuno wasn't. it was about two teams. because furudate made sure that we know every single player in each team, through and through.

this match wasn't just a simple match, it's something that they never shut up about since season one. this match was the end goal of all the relationships and parallels and dynamics they have been building for these characters, and the movie did a half-assed job delivering their fated battle.

it's like they looked at the arc and thought, "this is about hinata defeating kenma. let's focus on that and mention everything else briefly." so it was a whole mess of characters throwing these one liners back and forth and you just sitting there trying to catch up. look, maybe i'm blinded by nostalgia. but i don't remember feeling this way while reading the manga.

(edit: totally forgot to mention this but THEY CUT OFF THE COACHES' BACKSTORY !!! no young nekomata :((( )

okay, moving on, they did give us the birdcage scene:

and better than the manga, if i'm being honest. like i know it's a bad picture but LOOK at that composition. i love it so much.

they also included the one where kenma and shoyo shoved knives up each other's throats (they're such good friends fr 🤧)

they did this scene:

so well i was about to cry. shoyo literally screamed it was kinda overdone but i'll take it. kuroo's laugh was beautiful.

there was also this other scene where kenma is exhausted from running and is just desperately trying to keep playing and they did this amazing 360 degree perspective shot from his pov and IT WAS SO GOODDD. the heavy breathing kept getting louder and intenser and you could literally FEEL his breath and the voice acting in that scene was top notch i had fucking goosebumps. there was this bit where he faced the ground and his sweat was dripping down on the floor and YOU COULD SEE HIS REFLECTION ON THE WATER DROPS?? LIKE???? i'm still shocked this studio pulled that off you guys it was awesome.

and at the end of the match, they took this scene,

and made it 10 TIMES BETTER?? AS IF THAT'S POSSIBLE???

in the movie my boy kenma was fucking FLOORED. he was lying on the ground all sweaty and limbless and he had this beautiful smile on his face as he looked up at kuroo and said this line. I LOVED THAT SO, SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW WARM IT MADE MY HEART. THANK YOU WHOEVER LOOKED AT THIS BEAUTIFUL PANEL AND THOUGHT, "YOU KNOW WHAT, I CAN MAKE THIS EVEN GAYER"

oh, and they also included this for some reason lol:

okay, so, the movie wasn't as bad as we thought it would be.

i was really surprised by the quality of animation. they definitely solved the problem they had in season four where even the smallest movement always looked stiff. i don't think they paid enough mind to what the arc was actually about, to be honest. they tried to make this into just another one of their matches. well, maybe it was and i'm just reading too much into the character dynamics, who knows..

oh, and the bitter sweet news is that in after credits they teased the kamomedai match. since we're getting only one last movie for the finale it was a given that either the kamomedai match or the time skip were going to be cut short or cut off entirely. well, it doesn’t seem to be the kamomedai match... so. yeah. i guess we're kissing our beloved brazil and V league and olympic arcs goodbye. there was no way they did all of them justice anyway.

while the time skip is a high sacrifice i have to say i'll still be pretty happy if they make the kamomedai game full-length. that's my favorite match in the whole series and it definitely deserves more love. i doubt it will receive any if it comes in the expense of the time skip though...

so have you seen the movie? let's chat on the comments!!!

[legendoftherisingtide]

Listen kagehina is beautiful but,,,,,,,, L O O K A T T H E M,,,,, frick I want more of them but there are only a handful of people who actually make animatics of Tsukihina (and also yamakage deserves more love that poor child would pass away without freckle boy being there)

Wow i cant believe how people see this amazing height difference,

the comparison to the sun and the moon, and their "grumpy, tall, smart one" and "excited, small, stupid one" personalities, just to completely ignore all of that and ship kagehina

just wow

[ffamranxii]

MORE HAIKYUU!! COUPLES HEADCANONS

SAKUATSU

-Sakuatsu started as a series of hookups. 

-Sakusa’s germaphobia comes from his parents, who are doctors. Hospitals make him want to faint

-Sakusa doesn’t get along with his parents or siblings and Atsumu has only met them once

-Atsumu can cook (though not as well as Osamu). Sakusa started developing feelings for him when he saw how fastidious and clean Atsumu is in the kitchen (though he didn’t realize this at the time)

-Atsumu is one of the few people Sakusa lets touch him skin to skin. The day he realizes Atsumu’s germs don’t gross him out anymore he has a minor crisis 

-Sakuatsu’s idea of a good date is going to the worst-looking movie in the theater and making fun of it for the entire two hours. If the trailers don’t convince them, they look up reviews and base their choice on that

-Atsumu realized that he and Sakusa were more than just hooking up when he found himself at the konbini buying Lysol because he’d noticed Sakusa was running low and candy because Sakusa’s favorite was just restocked

-Atsumu never asks Sakusa to do more than he’s comfortable with, during their first hookup no clothes even came off

-Sakuatsu’s love language is bickering and shit-talk. Someone who doesn’t know them well would think they don’t actually like each other

-Atsumu has an authority kink

-Atsumu has a type and that type is people who don’t give him the time of day. Suna labels his crush on Kita as “notice me, senpai” and his relationship with Sakusa “pay attention to me, asshole”

-Sakusa is close friends with his ex, Ushijima

-Sakusa always washes his hands twice, and always immediately the moment he comes home. Atsumu adopts the habit from him

-Before Sakusa, Atsumu was a great believer in the five second rule

-Sakusa is vigilant about expiration dates. He always chooses the food item with the furthest date when he shops, and goes through his cabinets and fridge regularly

-Atsumu always opens the door for Sakusa and presses the elevator buttons

-Atsumu is one of the very few people Sakusa feels comfortable around, because since noticing his quirks about touch and germs Atsumu has always done his best to accommodate Sakusa, rather than force him to get over them. 

OSUNA

-Osamu and Suna got together in high school, but only admitted they were dating in their twenties. They went on dates, had sex, treated each other like boyfriends but didn’t make it official or really tell anyone until after high school

-Osuna enjoy watching cooking shows and cooking competitions together

-Suna is the first person Osamu told about his dream to be a professional cook

-Osuna is actually disgustingly sweet towards and tactile with each other, though in public they’re rather reserved

-Suna gets along with Sakusa and likes him because he’s a dick

-Suna suffers from insomnia and is a light sleeper to boot

-Osamu doesn’t share food. Suna can count on one hand the number of times Osamu’s shared food with him. Suna is also very shocked and extremely pleased when this happens, because Osamu won’t even let his own twin pick off his plate

-When Osuna first meet Sakusa, they’re convinced Atsumu likes him because “oh, he’s just like Kita-san but meaner.”

-Osuna do not in any way understand Sakuatsu, and for a while Osamu was pretty concerned about his brother because he didn’t get what Atsumu got out of the relationship

-Osuna are very reserved in public but almost always touching in some what in private

-Suna is a halfway decent cook and sometimes helps Osamu in the kitchen or Onigiri Miya. Osamu does about 95% of the actual cooking because “I like cooking for you, Rin”

-Only Osamu calls Suna “Rin.” Atsumu calls him “Sunarin.” Sakusa calls him “Suna.”

TSUKKIYAMA (for @if-found-return-to-ash-lynx )

-Tsukkiyama started as friends with benefits. When asked if they’re dating, their reply was some form of “we’re best friends who fuck, what of it?” They start actually dating in college

-Tsukki can play piano, and has taught Yamaguchi a few easy pieces

-Yamaguchi gets along much better with Akiteru than Tsukki does, and when he needs advice he’ll either ask him or Shimada

-Yamaguchi LOVES fast food. Tsukki tolerates fast food. He always orders fries even though he doesn’t like them so Yamaguchi can have extra fries

-Yamaguchi is just as snarky and witty and downright asshole-ish as Tsukki, but rarely feels the need to provoke people the way Tsukki does

-Tsukki is somewhat unwilling friends with Bokuto and Kuroo, but that means he’s also friends with Akaashi and Kenma. Bokuto and Kuroo thinks Tsukki is BETTER friends with their boyfriends than them

-Tsukki has an iron liver. Yamaguchi has a high alcohol tolerance but suffers the worst hangovers

-Yamaguchi is really good friends with Hinata and Yachi, and got a lot of captain advice from Ennoshita. 

-Tsukki doesn’t really give a shit what people think of him, but he will very viciously defend Yamaguchi

-Tsukki was unwillingly adopted by Kuroo and Bokuto back in high school and has a somewhat tumultuous relationship with both of them. He gets along much better with Kenma and Akaashi. He absolutely draws the line at double or triple dating with them though

-Yamaguchi is very good friends with Yachi, to the point that sometimes people think they’re dating

[earlywintermourning]

HQ Ships I Associate With Taylor Swift Songs

this is entirely self-indulgent but i don’t care. also this will contain manga spoilers, be warned

@rudolphsboyfriend you encouraged me to do this… look at what you have commented into existence /lh

Dorothea and Kagehina: I could write an essay on why this song and this ship work, but I’ll keep it short and maybe make everything else into its own post. I see this song as mainly from Kageyama’s perspective - what really sells it on his POV is “if you ever get tired/of being known for who you know/you know you’ll always know me” is just so reminiscent of how Hinata knows so many people. This song also has the whole “friends to one watching the other from a distance while still being entirely loyal” theme that is just so incredibly Kagehina, as well as the way that the narrator describes their high school experience.

Lover and Bokuaka & Matsuhana: For Bokuaka, I mainly associate this song with them because I want them to be happy SO BADLY. But also I think that “can I go where you go?/will we always be this close” line is very Akaashi, while “swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover” is very Bokuto.

For Matsuhana, the lines that make me think of them are “i’ve loved you three summers now honey,” as they’ve known each other for three years, and “swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover/and you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me,” because that’s honestly SUCH a them line. (Can you tell that both of these are my favorite ships)

Enchanted and Bokuaka: The basic premise of “I was enchanted to meet you” could go for every haikyuu ship because all of them are kind of built around how the characters influence each other, but 1) Bokuaka deserves this song, 2) their whole thing is quite literally love at first sight (chapter 331) and 3) the lyrics are very Akaashi. “There I was again tonight, forcing laughter faking smiles/same old tired, lonely place/walls of insincerity/vanished when I saw your face” might just remind me of Bokuaka because I’m a sucker for rich and not very happy about rich culture!Akaashi but I also think that it applies to what we know from canon. “I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew/I was enchanted to meet you.” I think that Akaashi feels anxiety over what he means to Bokuto, and this line is kinda that. The theme of this song being love at first sight as well as wanting this person to really know you fits Bokuaka SO WELL.

Mary’s Song (Oh My My My) and Iwaoi: childhood friends to lovers!!!!! I see this song from Oikawa’s POV, with lyrics like “said you’d beat me up you were bigger than me/you never did” and “I dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried” it’s just very Iwaoi yknow? If you want to add some angst, it’s Oikawa looking back on their relationship as he leaves for Argentina :)

Message In a Bottle and Tsukkiyama: Message in a bottle came out literally today so I haven’t analyzed this as much but. “And I became hypnotized by freckles and bright eyes” is so incredibly Tsukki to Yams. This song’s whole message of feeling separate from your crush but wanting to reach out just feels a lot like them, so I associate it.

Gorgeous and Sakuatsu: This song/ship association is so important to me for no reason at all but I’m going to do it justice. This song is definitely from Sakusa’s POV, from specific lyrics to the way that it’s implied that the person singing is more introverted. To start: “you should take it as a compliment/that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk” is just. Atsumu accent. Yeah. “You should think about the consequence/of your magnetic field being a little too strong” is most definitely their relationship dynamic from Sakusa’s POV, along with “You’re so cool, it makes me hate you so much.” In general, I like when this ship is portrayed with the “i want to kiss him. ew” type feeling, especially when one of them starts realizing Feelings, so “you're so gorgeous/I can't say anything to your face/'cause look at your face/and I'm so furious/at you for making me feel this way/but, what can I say?/you're gorgeous” really holds up. “Guess I’ll just stumble on home to my cats” I just think that Sakusa is a cat person. This paragraph is getting really fucking long so I’ll be quick: outside of the lyrics, the vibe of this song-music, rhythm, etc just feels very Sakuatsu to me, for some reason.

State of Grace and Kagehina: This is from Kageyama’s POV, I mean, “I never saw you coming/and I’ll never be the same” hello? This is like. The first episode and every single one after that. “You come around and the armor falls” really reminds me of how Hinata was the one who taught Kageyama that it doesn’t all rely on him; Hinata took away that “armor” of superiority. “This is the golden age of something good and right and real” is very much how these two changed the team for the better.

[ifistoptherain]

Star Crossed Lovers, a TsukkiYama fanfic

You can buy me a ko-fi here. You can read this on AO3 here.

Yamaguchi gets approached by Johzenji's captain, Terushima Yuuji to go on a date and Tsukishima Kei gets jealous. It looks like two alphas have their sight on Yamaguchi, how will he choose?

--

Karasuno wins against Johzenji. The adrenaline and happiness surging through Tadashi’s body is incredible. They can keep playing! It’s smiles all around as Daichi yells at them to line up and they all bow.

Playing against Johzenji was fun. The energy that that team brought to the game was wild and unpredictable, different from the other teams that would strategize every move. As usual, Hinata had the most fun, his happy pheromones flooding the court with the scent of oranges.

He’s packing up his things, with Tsukki right next to him when the Johzenji captain approaches. 

“Pinch server-kun, will you go out with me?”

He’s stunned. He can feel the blush creeping up his cheeks. Nothing has happened with Tsukki since their presentation and he’s tired of waiting. Maybe a bit of jealousy would be the exact push Tsukki needs.

He nods, holding out his phone to get his number. Terushima grins and walks away. And if Tadashi was to be honest, he’d been wondering how a tongue piercing tastes throughout the match. (Tadashi was really glad he always wears scent blockers, no way he’d be able to explain why his pheromones were horny. Actually, he could. Terushima was totally his type and it didn’t look like he was looking for anything too serious.)

He looks down at his phone. “Terushima Yuuji.” Yuuji? It means playful child, how fitting. He smiles at his phone and adds a heart emoji to his name. His heart is fluttering right now.

“So you’re going to go out with him?” Tsukki asks, expression unreadable. 

“Yup, why are you jealous?” Tsukki shakes his head, muttering something about being careful.

“He seems nice, and I like how he smells.” For someone so wild, Terushima smells like vanilla. How ironic. 

Just then, Yachi yells at them and they head to their bus. He’s honestly really tired, a quick nap is just what he needs.

When he gets home, his mother immediately wrinkles her nose. “Why did Tsukishima scent mark you so aggressively?”  

Tadashi shakes his head. “I have no idea, but today an alpha from another school asked me out, mom. I said yes!”

“Eh, I thought Tsukishima was courting you. You always smell like him. Are you sure you want to go out with someone else?”

“That’s what I thought too. I like him but he hasn’t initiated anything. I’m tired of waiting. Maybe a little jealousy will work?”

His mother punches him in the arm, “That’s seriously sly. Who taught you this behavior?”

“Like mother, like son.”

“Hey, I’m an innocent person! I bet you picked it up from your beloved Tsukki.”

“Moooommm.”

“Fine, fine, tell me all about this new alpha.”

“His name is Terushima Yuuji and he’s from Johzenji…”

--

When he checks his phone that night, there are no texts from Tsukki which was weird. So, instead he decides to text Terushima. He takes a selfie with his tongue sticking out, captioning “I wonder what a tongue piercing tastes like?” A bit flirty but Tadashi has been wondering.

He gets an immediate reply. Good, Tadashi likes attention. “Why don’t you find out this weekend?”

<b> Tadashi: </b> can i call you teru

<b> teruteru <3: </b> Only if i can call u dashi

<b> Tadashi: </b> then i should be calling you yuuji ◕ ◡ ◕

<b> teruteru <3: </b> You can if you want

<b> teruteru <3: </b> Who was the blond alpha? Would have burnt me to crisp with his glare D:

<b> Tadashi: </b> hes just my best friend

<b> teruteru <3: </b> You like him?

Tadashi pauses, unsure how to reply, admitting his feelings for Tsukki would ruin his chances with Terushima.

<b> teruteru <3: </b> Well im not looking for anyth serious anw

<b> teruteru <3: </b> I broke up with my ex a while back, we can be each others’ rebounds

<b> teruteru <3: </b>  In fact riling up an alpha seems especially fun

<b> Tadashi: </b>  u wanna watch a movie this sun?

<b> teruteru <3: </b> Sureeeee

<b> Tadashi: </b> ure definitely okay with dating for fun?

<b> teruteru <3: </b>  Yupppp

<b> Tadashi: </b> by the way

<b> Tadashi: </b> ill be preheat then so :p

<b> teruteru <3: </b> fuckkkkkkkkk

It’s Thursday so Tadashi only has three days till his date.

They’re having lunch in class when he tells Tsukki that he’s meeting Teru on Saturday, only for him to get no reaction. Tsukki passes him his lunchbox. Tadashi’s mother is a single mother and she’s usually too busy to cook for Tadashi. Tadashi tries to cook when he can but most of the time he’s too tired from working part time at Shimada Mart and the Yamaguchi family ends up eating take out. 

Stupid Tsukishima. If he didn’t like Tadashi, why would he constantly scent mark him and bring him a lunch box all the time? Honestly, Tadashi could ask Tsukki out. But, he knows Tsukki might say yes even if he didn’t have feelings for Tadashi, and Tadashi could just be overthinking Tsukki’s actions.

So, Tadashi wasn’t going to make the first move but he wasn’t going to wait forever either. He loves Tsukki but he knows that he deserves better than that.

The food is great. His lunches with Tsukki are the rare home cooked meals he gets. Curry rice always reminds him of his dad. But the sweet Japanese curries are different from the ones his dad used to make. Maybe, he should make something that his dad used to make. It’s hard to get Indian spices in Japan…

He really must drop by and thank Tsukki’s mum soon. Maybe with a gift?

“Hey Tsukki, should I get your mother a gift? She’s always helping me and my mum out. I feel bad.”

“No, it’s fine. But she did mention that she wanted to see you soon.”

“I’ll come by for dinner soon then.”

“You seemed sad?” He hadn’t even realised he had looked sad.

“I was just reminded of my dad. Thought I should make some of the food he used to make, maybe I’ll make some for mum.” His dad passed away a year ago. They’re okay with it now. Both his mum and him were able to brace themselves as he was sick for a while. 

But, sometimes it hurts. Like someone twisted a knife in his heart. 

Tadashi smiles. “It’s not a big deal, Tsukki.” It really isn't.  Grief demands to be felt and there’s nothing you can do about it. It just makes him appreciate his time with his dad more.

“Is Aki-nii coming back this weekend? I think he mentioned something like that a while back.”

And immediately, Tsukki looks annoyed. “How does he have the time to text you and not me? I’m his brother.”

“Well, Tsukki. I’m the favourite, besides you ignore him all the time. Now, if I were to tell Aki-nii what you just said, he might text you more often.” He points his chopsticks in Tsukki’s direction.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry, Tsukki.” He looks pointedly at him. “But… If you were more vocal in your affection, Aki-nii would reciprocate.” Tsukki better take the hint. Or maybe not, he would enjoy his date with Teru after all.

“By the way, I won’t be in school next week. Take notes for me, will you?” He can see the cogs turning in Tsukki’s brain.

“You’re going to be spending your pre-heat with Terushima? Just be safe.” Ugh. Tadashi could bang his head on the table. Will Tsukki ever get it?

“I will.”

“What do you think I should wear for the date? I was thinking something punk, Teru has those vibes. He might like it.”

--

Terushima picks him up, looking as punk as he could imagine, with a motorbike. Terushima looks great, the pants are tight, showing off his toned legs and bubble butt. The white tank top shows off his muscular arms through the sheer black top.

And Tadashi is really glad he went through his mother’s closet and picked out a leather jacket with spikes on it and borrowed Yachi’s choker. He’s wearing a t-shirt that he owns and skinny jeans. 

“Terushima! You look good.”

“I thought you were going to call me Yuuji. And you look good too.” He holds out a helmet for Tadashi to wear. 

“Only if you call me Tadashi.”

“Okay, Tadashi, hop on.”

Yuuji clearly has a need for speed. Tadashi thinks it's a ploy to get him to hold onto the alpha’s waist tightly. It works.

The wind also blows Yuuji’s pheromones right into his face. It’s a bit intoxicating, he hasn’t been in such close parameters with an alpha before.

Yuuji pays for everything, of course Tadashi offers to pay but it's an empty offer. There is nothing sexier than a capable alpha, it makes him feel like he would be well taken care of.

The movie bores Tadashi out of his mind so he leans into Yuuji. Nuzzles his face into Yuuji’s scent glands. He likes how Yuuji smells. He smells so sweet, a bit sugary like Tadashi could eat the alpha up. It’s a fun thought.

His preheat was making him just a bit more horny than usual. After a few minutes of nuzzling, Yuuji looks him in the eye. 

“You smell spicy, it’s rare.”  Yuuji sucks at the skin of his neck.

“I’m half indian.” Tadashi is pretty sure what someone smells like depends on the food they ate as a child. Huh, maybe Yuuji ate a lot of vanilla ice cream as a child.

He bites the sensitive skin of Tadashi’s scent glands, sucking on it and Tadashi can’t suppress the moan.

“Be quiet, <i>omega</i>.” Tadashi knows that Yuuji knows that the two of them are probably the only two left in the movie theatre.

“Make me, <i>alpha<i>.” Yuuji’s eyes almost seem to glow as he immediately closes the gap between their lips. He pushes Tadashi onto his back, who promptly wraps his legs around the alpha’s waist. His lips are rough, a bit dry. He tastes like the cheap, buttery popcorn they had earlier. Tadashi’s tongue runs along Yuuji’s tongue piercing, it doesn’t taste like anything really.

His hands are on Tadashi’s back, but one is creeping up his shirt. They stop making out for a moment and Tadashi takes off Yuuji’s shirt. Meanwhile, Yuuji pushes up Tadashi’s shirt, tongue dragging along his chest, sucking on the nipples. The metal feels cool against his skin.

Meanwhile, Tadashi feels up Yuuji’s muscular arms. He’s so strong...

“Fuck, you smell so fuckable.” He’s back to nosing at his scent glands and sucking on that skin. Tadashi lifts his hips up, gyrating against Yuuji’s crotch. They’re both hard, Tadashi notices with satisfaction.

Yuuji stops for a moment and Tadashi whines. 

“Your heat’s starting soon, let’s leave.” Ugh. It would only start tomorrow so why couldn’t he enjoy his time with Yuuji?

“Yuuji, I don’t want to…” He leans away, getting up. Deep down, Tadashi knows he’s right. He pulls Tadashi up by the arm.

Yuuji leads them out and Tadashi follows, clinging onto his arm. Tadashi does feel slightly light headed now that he thinks about it. Yuuji is awfully quiet and Tadashi’s pretty sure they’re speeding. It must take a lot of focus to deny an omega almost in heat. At least, wrapping his arms around Yuuji is nice.

When they arrive, Yuuji pushes his shirt into Tadashi’s arms. 

“For your heat.” Tadashi plants a very chaste kiss on Yuuji’s lips.

“Thanks for today, Yuuji.”

He hears the motorcycle rev off, once he’s closed the door behind him. He’s sweet and respectful, isn’t he?

“I’m home!” He says to no one in particular, his mum must have picked up an extra shift at the bar again.

He’s alone again. Yuuji just left and he misses him terribly. There’s probably an hour left until his heat actually hits.

<b> Tadashi: </b> thanks for today

<b> Tadashi: </b> drive safe

<b> teruteru <3: </b> :D

He had already built his nest and stocked his room with water in advance. Or maybe his mum had put the water bottles in? He doesn’t remember.

<b> Tadashi: </b>tsukkkiiiiiii 

<b> Tadashi: </b> he has a motorcycle! a motorcycle!!

 <b> Tadashi: </b> the movie we watched was super boring but

<b> Tadashi: </b> yuuji was really sweet i think i could fall for him

<b> Tadashi: </b> but hes not looking for anyth too serious

The messages show up as read but Tsukki doesn’t reply because when does he ever. There’s a meal in the fridge, some take out his mum probably got from work. He climbs into his nest on his bed, after dinner. AC on blast, heats could get so hot and so sticky.

During his heat, Tadashi imagines not just Tsukki’s long fingers but also Yuuji’s firm but gentle touches and his playful bites.

It’s Thursday afternoon and Tadashi’s heat is mostly gone. It’s just a dull ache in his bones now. Yuuji’s poor sheer shirt has been desecrated. Tadashi handwashes it, and then sends a pic of him wearing it with nothing below to Yuuji. Also, Yuuji’s hickies hadn’t faded in the 4 days since then.

<b> Tadashi: </b> (*^^*) the hickies still havent fadedddd

<b> teruteru <3: </b> I like to show off my work~ 

<b> teruteru <3: </b> Besides, I didn’t hear complaints at the time~~

<b> Tadashi: </b> (*^^*) 

He definitely had been in pre heat then because he hadn’t noticed how aggressive Yuuji was. The hickeys hurt if he touches them. Yuuji’s aggressiveness was sexy actually.

He’ll probably have to put makeup on them when he goes to school. But it's only Thursday and he’d probably ditch on Friday anyway so hopefully, it would fade before next Monday. 

Tomorrow, he has a morning shift at the convenient store nearby and then an afternoon shift at Shimada mart. 

<b> tsukki <3: </b> is ur heat over?

<b> Tadashi: </b> mostly but ill be working tmro, keep taking notes tsukki!

He’s been leeching on Tsukki a lot actually, from notes to food.

<b> Tadashi: </b> u wanna practise volleyball with me tmro? ill teach u the jump float serve

<b> teruteru <3: </b>  YESSSS

He takes the rare opportunity to cook himself and his mum a meal. She usually leaves in the late afternoon for work and arrives in the wee hours of the morning. But the upside to those working hours was that Tadashi got to spend time with her during the day. If she had the typical working hours, the both of them would be too tired to talk.

He just makes omelette rice. It’s simple and he’s still worn out from his heat. After dinner, he studies the school work he had missed. He knows Yuuji isn’t looking for a serious relationship but he can’t get past the what if. But he knows that's unfair to Yuuji since he still likes Tsukki. Tsukki with his golden hair and golden eyes and kind words reserved only for Tadashi, makes him feel special. They’ve been friends for years, Tsukki knows him like the back of his hand. It’s comfortable and he knows Tsukki will always be there for him but with Yuuji it’s different. It’s new and exciting and so great to finally be with someone who would do something about their feelings instead of just having Tadashi on the hook. But, part of him can’t shake the fact that somehow, deep inside him, he feels like he’s cheating on Tsukki. It’s ridiculous, really. 

He’s just lucky his omega hadn’t decided that Tsukki was his alpha. Then, he would have been in a world of suffering by constantly pining. Actually, Tadashi does pine. He just knows he deserves better than that. In fact, he thinks his omega likes Yuuji more. That whore. Why else would his heat start early?

(He knows he’s calling himself a whore, shut up.)

The next day, work goes by slowly. So few people come in so Tadashi gets to play on his phone and text Yachi. He knows, knows, that Yachi has been dying to hear about his date. The only reason she hadn’t called was because she thought he was still in his heat. He calls her during lunch. He tells her all about how he’d been so respectful despite his heat starting early. Respectful alphas were so hard to come by. God. Yachi gushes how if he doesn’t end up being with Yuuji, he better give Yachi, Yuuji’s number. Pffttt. He’s excited to see Yuuji later. 

His shift finally finishes, and he heads home to change into a t-shirt and gym shorts before meeting Yuuji. He’s in and out before he knows it. When he gets to the court, Yuuji is already there. Wearing a tank top again. Show off, he knows he looks good in tank tops doesn’t he?

“Yuuji.”

“Dashi.” He smiles, the instant he looks at Tadashi. He’s so cute. They play one on one volleyball for a while before he teaches Yuuji how to do the jump float serve. 

By the time they're done, Tadashi is soaked in sweat. They are sitting next to each other, taking sips of water and Yuuji just seems to glisten under the yellow street lights. 

“You know, I never did thank you properly the other day.” Yuuji’s eyebrows quirk upwards, smiles growing wider.

“Oh? How would you like to thank me?” He brings his face closer to Tadashi’s.

“Why don’t you come back to my place and find out?” He whispers into Yuuji’s ear. Immediately  Yuuji takes the opportunity to bite his neck. What was with him and Tadashi’s neck?

“Not here, Yuu-” He licks Tadashi’s scent glands before stopping.

They get up and Yuuji looks like the cat that got the cream.

They get on his bike and Tadashi manages to persuade him to forego the helmet. His place is only a few minutes away anyway.

He loves how the wind runs through his hair and he loves how he gets to hold Yuuji, basically feeling him up. He hooks his head on the side of Yuuji’s neck, getting a full blast of Yuuji’s pheromones. It’s heady and lustful, he’s clearly horny. Though Tadashi doubts he himself smells any different.

They get there in record time. Tadashi doesn’t know how they make it up to his room.

Yuuji is aggressive as usual but Tadashi stops him.

“It’s my treat, Yuuji. You can just enjoy.”  Yuuji sits on the edge of his bed and Tadashi unzips his pants, pulling off his boxers. He begins by licking the dick from the base to the tip, taking his time to go slow, just to tease Yuuji. He then licks the tip repeatedly and hears Yuuji groan.

“Faster,” He moans. His hand grabs onto Tadashi’s hair, pushing his head forward. Tadashi swallows his dick whole. Head bobbing as Yuuji pants. Precum begins dripping from it and Tadashi laps it up, tongue swirling around the dick.

“No... you don’t have to,” Yuuji breathes out. Tadashi ignores him, moving faster and swallowing the cum when Yuuji comes. 

Yuuji looks at him through hooded eyes and says, “Now it’s my turn to treat you.” He picks up Tadashi from the floor, placing him on the bed. And as usual, he begins by biting at Tadashi’s neck who was beginning to think that the alpha had a thing for Tadashi’s neck. Frickin’ vampire.

He begins to unzip Tadashi’s pants and he has the realisation that he doesn’t want this, not yet anyway. 

“No, Yuuji, stop.” And immediately, Yuuji stops and lets Tadashi sit up.

“I’m sorry, I thought I wanted it but I don't. Not yet, anyway.” He plays with his hands not looking directly at Yuuji.

“You don’t have to apologise, as long as we are both comfortable. You wanna cuddle?”

And that’s how Tadashi ends up in Yuuji’s arms, although he’s taller and once again, Yuuji is nosing at Tadashi’s neck.

“What’s with you and my neck? You’re like a vampire.” 

“I just love how you smell, it’s sexy. You mind if I scentmark you? ” 

“No, go ahead.” And, Yuuji rubs his scent glands all over his neck and head and face. Possessive much?

“I know we said we won’t get too serious but I like you and I don’t want other alphas after you.”

“I like you too, Yuuji. Besides, there’s no one after plain old me.”

“What about blondie, you still like him, don’t you?” Tadashi stiffens.

“Yea maybe but I’m here with you not him, that counts for something right?” He hears Yuuji sigh, he feels sorry. He hasn’t completely moved on from Tsukki. Not yet, anyway.

“You wanna stay the night? It’s too dark for you to be driving out there… But you might have to deal with my mum in the morning.”

“I’ll stay, I get to hold a pretty thing all night anyway.”

When Tadashi wakes up the next morning, Yuuji isn’t in bed. But then, he hears laughter coming from downstairs. No, this is bad.

When he walks down after washing up, both Yuuji and his mom are laughing together.

“Mommmmm.” God, she had probably spilled all of his secrets already.

“Tadashi! You didn’t tell me that Terushima was so charming.” He narrows his eyes at her, shouldn’t she be asleep?

“I’m just heating up leftovers for the both of you and then I’ll go, I promise.” And to his horror, Tadashi finds a photo album of his baby pictures on the table. Nooooo.

“Mom, why’d you show this? I’m embarrassed.”

“Don’t be, you looked very cute.” He punches Yuuji on the arm.

“Of course, you’re going to say that now and tease me about it later.”

“I won’t, I promise. I promise.” He says between laughter. God, he’ll never recover from the teasing will he?

True to her word, his mother disappears and they both sit down for breakfast.

“I’m sorry about my mum.”

“Hey, why are you saying that? She was really nice.”

 They talk about nothing important, mainly volleyball during breakfast and also about how Yuuji was in the college prep class? What a contrast to his punk vibes.

Yuuji prepares to leave after breakfast, and Tadashi hands him back the sheer shirt he had lent for his heat.

“Yuuji, can I scent mark you?” Yuuji’s eyes light up, grin bright as the sun.

“You don’t even have to ask.”

“You sure it’s not going to affect the fake punk image you have going on? To smell like an omega?”

“It’s not fake, I am a punk!”

“A punk who is in college prep class.” 

Tadashi stands in front of Yuuji who stands ever so still, waiting. He doesn’t move as Tadashi rubs his glands on the alpha’s face and neck.

“Done! Goodbye, Yuuji.”

“What? I don’t get a goodbye kiss?”

Tadashi shakes his head, he’s so stupid, and pulls Yuuji in for a kiss. Their lips part and Yuuji steps away.

“I’ll get going then.” 

Tadashi holds onto his arm, “Do you have to?”, and pulls him into another kiss.

“I have to, I told my sister I’d help her with her homework.”

“Aww, the punk who wears leather and rides a motorbike helps his sister with her homework.”

“Hey! Besides, if I wasn’t leaving you wouldn’t kiss me so much.”

“One last kiss.” 

Just then, there’s a knock on the door. It’s too early for deliveries, Tadashi thinks as Yuuji opens the door.

It’s Tsukki.

[mochikeiji]

When Somebody Loved Me // TsukkiYama

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Pairings: Tsukishima Kei x Yamaguchi Tadashi

a/n: I may have randomly listened again to "When Somebody Loves Me" in Toy Story 3, and got this idea ヽ( ´¬`)ノ Parenthesis are the song lyrics!

GIF is not mine!

(When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful)

Yamaguchi was the type of person to go through his past a lot randomly. Like the time he first watched volleyball, the time he was bullied, and the time he first met a friend. His only friend. He had never felt so complete the day he trailed behind Tsukishima's back. What's more is that he wasn't bothered or pushing him away like other people did.

For once someone actually liked his presence, and has stuck up with him from childhood to teenage years.

(Every hour spent together

Lives within my heart)

"Nice serve." The blonde praises quietly, making Yamaguchi grip the ball on his palms, a fire lit inside of him as determination and happiness mixed.

His happiness always so humble. A simple praise from his cool and amazing friend would always leave a mark on his heart, a song that will always be on replay in his head.

In game, or in school, every moment he had with Tsukishima he cherished everyday. He felt blessed, too blessed that he began to feel selfish from having such an amazing blessing. He thanks the heavens for him everyday.

He thanks and prays with every heart and soul that this would remain the same.

(And when he was sad

I was there to dry his tears)

"Will you stop calling yourself lame!" Yamaguchi finds himself yelling at him, he was never the one to lose his shy, soft spoken self, but he has no control when the people he loves says they hate themselves or even makes a bad comment about their selves.

Tsukishima looks at him, face in shock, and wet from splashing water onto it. "If you keep doing that, then you're going to be lamer than you already are!" Yamaguchi puffs his cheeks, trying to look tough, and angry. Tsukishima was still frozen, it wasn't all the time he gets to see his timid friend become a loud yet strong willed person.

And it wasn't all the time Yamaguchi would see Tsukishima tore himself apart by blaming himself from not being good enough at something.

(And when was happy so was I

When he loved me)

Wiping his face with a clean towel, and placing back his normal glasses, he smiles, "Since when did you get so cool?" Yamaguchi flinches, but shyly scratches the back of his head, "I'm still the same person, Tsukki." smiling softly as the blonde made his way through the door. Stopping by putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you." leaving behind Yamaguchi with an idiotic yet adorable smile on his face, before snapping out of his thoughts when he was alone in the bathroom.

"T-tsukki! Wait!"

(Through the summer and the fall

We had each other, that was all

Just he and I together

Like it was meant to be)

The two friends made their way to the gym for a summer training. It was weird to see Hinata and Kageyama aren't early as they always been. Tanaka made a comment that they were out jogging or racing eachother, and that they'll be late.

Yamaguchi doesn't complain though, he likes moments where it's just them, and no members trying to pull them apart for separate practices. Every second felt like it was just the two of them in their own little world.

Placing down their bags, they warmed up together, having a little chat, "You seem to always stare at Yachi san a lot, don't you." he says, now stretching his other leg. "N-no! I just think she's adorable, Tsukki! No feelings at all!" Yamaguchi rambles, afraid that the male would be thinking of such things. "I'm kidding, jeez, can't take a joke?" chuckling a little at him, Yamaguchi stayed silent. "I don't like Yachi san..." he takes a deep breath, and looks at Tsukishima with a blush on his face "I o-only like you, Tsukki!" he confesses, it was now or never.

He was surprised to see the way he smiled, not the snarky or sarcastic one. But a genuine, real one. One where you can read his emotions loud and clear.

"I know, idiot."

(And when he was lonely

I was there to comfort him)

Sitting on a cemented bench in silence, Yamaguchi watches Tsukishima take another sip of his favorite drink with his headphones on his ears.

Tsukishima just texted him that no one was at his place, and that he was getting bored. So he asked if they could meet at the place where they used to play as kids. It was now their usual hang out spot after school days. Yamaguchi could never say no, and rushed out. He even treats him with his favorite drink.

But he knows random calls like these coming from him usually meant he was troubled. Yeah he wasn't good at expressing his feelings much, but after so many years of being with him, he had memorized him like a poem.

(And I knew that he loved me)

"Hey" he straightens up his posture as he hums in response, "Thanks for this." Looking back at the freckled male with a smile, raising his canned drink. Smiles from Tsukishima to Yamaguchi meant a lot of things. It can either be, "you're an idiot.", "oh god why am I with this person.",

"I love you, I hope you know that."

Yamaguchi just smiles at him, and nods happily.

"Anything for you, Tsukki."

(So the years went by

I stayed the same

But he began to drift away)

Graduation was nearing, he had seen Tsukishima become more busy, and hasn't been attending practice much. He knows he was an intelligent person, one who wants to keep their future and finances in check. He was working hard for both that and his passion in volleyball.

But somehow he feels him slowly become an entire different person. Much like Kageyama back in middle school when he explained his story. He seemed to become someone who prefers to be alone. Like when they were kids.

Yamaguchi couldn't serve the ball properly from his thinking, always messing up like when he was in first year.

Today was no different, he watches as he blocks again another ball from the new members of the team. But he seemed to be less into the game. Not like he wasn't before, but now, it felt like he was just someone else.

Like a the boy he first had his eyes on when they were kids. Just a stranger.

(I was left alone

Still I waited for the day)

"H-hey, Tsukki. Let's go home together." He tries making small talk, but the roots on his feet felt like they were pulling him down as he faces a completely different aura from him.

"I'm heading home first. My brother and I have some things to attend to." he just watch as Tsukishima stuffs all of his belongings in his bag, "T-then I'll come with you—"

"Just stay and practice. You don't have to keep following me around all the time."

Frozen at his spot as the male leaves. How long has this been annoying him? The fact that he was inseparable from him, was he getting annoyed of him?

Yamaguchi looked like a kicked out puppy, wondering what he did wrong to him.

(When he'd say, "I will always love you")

He didn't dare act like that to Yamaguchi. The boy was just too precious to be acting all scary. But now, he just snapped, and walked away.

But Yamaguchi was understanding, kind. He prays he'd come by— back to his normal self again.

(Lonely and forgotten

Never thought he'd look my way)

After graduation, Tsukishima wasn't coming to him anymore. He stopped walking together with the boy. Doesn't even congratulate him after the ceremony. Even the following months of break, he didn't show up. Yamaguchi had never felt so cold. It was as if the feelings he had felt as a child came back to him.

Yamaguchi held back his tears, as he focused on finishing his requirements for college. He always hated being alone. He hoped he never had to feel this way again like before. It was an awful spirit to ever eat him.

Does this mean they'd already broken up? Was he brave enough to bring it up after so long? No he wasn't. He was still the same loving person he was.

But oh how he missed his sarcastic lover.

He cleaned up his pile of notes, and finished his coffee, staring out the window from the cafe he was in. He had to head home soon, or he'd be caught up by the rain. Sure as hell be a bummer if his notes got soaked. Before he even had the chance to get up, he was met by a familiar glasses person, blonde hair now longer than before.

"T-tsukki." he stutters out, before he was able to great him, Yamaguchi runs out of the cafe, his chest feeling heavy as he ran. He wished he could've stayed, he wanted to. But he was so afraid. He stopped running when he felt a drizzle of rain drop from the tip of his nose, it began to pour as he runs to a near alley with a roof, and settles there.

(And he smiled at me and held me

Just like he used to do)

His breathing calms down, "Thank goodness." he sighs, "My notes are saved." smiling sadly at the thought of leaving his "lover" back there, his eyes began to water again, hugging his bag as he buries his face against it. He felt horrible. He felt like a bad person.

"Oi." he felt a hand on his hunched back, "That was pretty stupid of you to run into the rain like that." his body didn't move an inch as the hand lingered, "The man back there in the cafe was worried his regular costumer had run out, a pain really to make me come and get you." slowly he looks up from his bag, he whimpers at the sight.

He was smiling.

"I'm sorry." Words like these never was expected to come out of Tsukishima's mouth. But in Yamaguchi's case, he was the only one allowed to see his other sides. "I'm so sorry, it took me long, I know." he sat on the concrete floor. Usually he'd cringe at how disgusting it was, but he didn't pay attention to it. "I'm sorry I treated you like that— like this." referring to the males crying state.

"I'm sorry, Tadashi. Please forgive me."

(Like he loved me

When he loved me)

Throwing his bag to the side, Yamaguchi spreads his arms out wide, and nuzzles himself on Tsukishima, crying, murmuring various of words like, "Its okay.", "I'm sorry." "Thank God." "I love you. "

Placing a hand on his head as he pushes himself deeper into his chest. "You did nothing wrong." Tsukishima confirms, pressing a soft kiss at the crown of his head. "I love you too, I promise I'll make it up."

But this was more than enough to Yamaguchi. Judt having him back in his arms was already more than he could ask for.

(When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful)

That was about a year ago.

Apparently Tsukishima and his brother had a bit of an argument, and problems regarding his college. He explained everything to Yamaguchi while waiting for the rain to stop pouring that day.

The next day, to his delight, Tsukishima drops by his house like he always does. This time, he was the one treating him out. Yamaguchi remembers that day Tsukishima surprised him with a fluffy yellow dinosaur saying that if he ever felt sad, know that he's there, as a dinosaur. And boy, that was the most wholesome moment he can never forget.

He treated him with so much dates, despite not being an outgoing person. But he'd do anything to make up for the pain he has caused him, and proves his promises in never doing it ever again.

(Every hour spent together

Lives within my heart)

"You're quiet, it's freaking me out." Yamaguchi takes his eyes off his book, meeting his lovers who was sitting on his work table. "Sorry Tsukki, I was spacing out." Laughing nervously, placing the book on the table of their little apartment they had just got together.

Tsukishima blinks before removing his headphones and walked towards the couch, "What were you thinking?" he says down, rubbing comforting circles at his hand. Yamaguchi smiles at the gesture, knowing he was the only one who can make Tsukishima soft and nice. "Just reminiscing the past." humming as he smiles at the warm feeling in his chest.

"It's not the bad ones, is it?" And yes, Tsukishima still has his sarcasm laced with him. "Only the lame ones." that didn't mean Yamaguchi can't pick up on him. The rain outside poured heavily, a convenience to his reminiscing memories. Finally it was just the two of them, what's better is that this time it was always the two of them in the same roof on their heads.

(When he loved me)

Soft lips were met on his cheek, the hand still holding his lovingly. "I love you." He whispered, as if he was hiding himself from the prying ears and eyes of the unknown world around him.

Moments like these, he cherished like they were a present from Christmas. Everything, he can never forget. As long as it was with Tsukishima, everything will be beautiful.

"I love you too, Tsukki."

[benetnvsch]

Happy

Pairings: Tsukkiyama (but also not rlly??), past mentioned kurotsuki, past mention oiyama, and kuroken (but also mentioned but for literally like five words)

Word Count: 1068

Warnings: none but it is angsty,,,sorry :(

A/N: h y p er ventilates,,,uhhh,,,this was originally written for my oc’s and I changed it to match tsukkiyama cause I thought it would work with them ajfgsakf,,,sorry if this is ooc,,,also not beta read because i do not know ppl who’d be willing to beta read my stuff rip asjhfgjfs

Also on Ao3: (hereeee)

“Tsukki, I like you,” Yamaguchi says one cold evening. It’s completely out of the blue. He and Tsukishima are sitting on Tsukishima’s bed together, Tsukishima is laying over Yamaguchi’s legs. He has a fantasy book about dragons and kingdoms between his fingers and Yamaguchi’s eyes are glued to his phone and he’s wearing his earbuds and swaying his head to the beat of whatever he’s listening to as if he had never spoken.

I like you.  

It was innocent enough but still manages to send chills down Tsukishima’s spine and he can feel the atmosphere grow heavy and the tips of his fingers grow cold. The grey skies outside darken, dimming the room and the rain patters on their dorm room window wildly.

“Oh,” is the beginning of Tsukishima’s ever eloquent response. “Like me as in a friend-like way or like me in a romantic sense?”

Yamaguchi pauses. Thinks. He pauses whatever music is playing on his phone and takes one of his earbuds out. “Um, I like you in a friend-like way for the most part?” He takes out his other earbud and sets down his phone. He straightens up, causing the bed under Tsukishima to slightly dip. “Like I'm pretty sure that it's just platonic but if you asked me on a date I would not say no.” Yamaguchi furrows his eyebrows and his face is tight with concentration, as if he’s debating on what to say next. “And if you kissed me right now, I would probably kiss you back,” he adds. Then, satisfied with all that he said, he nods. “Yeah. That’s all.”

“Oh,” Tsukishima doesn't know quite what to say in response. That was definitely not the answer he expected. Not at all. How would that even work anyway? Would he ever want to go on a date with Yamaguchi? The idea doesn’t sound bad to him but he doesn’t exactly have romantic feelings for him and isn’t that required to date someone? Would he just date Yamaguchi as a friend and hope the romantic feelings would come later? Is that even something he could do?

He looks at the younger boy. Yamaguchi is looking back at him, copper eyes soft yet tired. His face is soft and he radiates patience and safety in a way Tsukishima greatly appreciates. He comes to his conclusion.

“If circumstances were a bit different, I probably could have loved you,” it wasn’t a straight answer, and it definitely wasn’t the answer Yamaguchi probably needed to hear yet hearing himself say it out loud makes Tsukishima’s heart calm down a little because it really is true.

Yamaguchi laughs, loud and sad. The rain still drums at the window.

“Ah, if I were a bit taller, way smarter, and had messier black hair maybe you could have loved me then?” He asks, meaning if we lived in a universe where I was more like Kuroo?

Tsukishima shakes his head. “No,” he replies because he honestly is over Kuroo.

What Tsukishima means is if we lived in a universe where people were more accepting of two boys in love; If we were both a bit more confident and a lot more prideful and if you were a bit more stronger and I was a bit more softer; If we both had more friends outside of volleyball and didn’t spend so much time pining after shitty high school captains and pretty boys with messy hair then maybe I could have loved you.

He means is if we lived in a universe where I didn’t latch onto the first senior who showed my some type of pity over my circumstances instead of just brushing off my attitude and telling me to simply 'do better' and if you didn’t give your entire heart to an ever too prideful captain of a rival school simply because you thought he was everything you weren't then maybe, just maybe, I could have loved you.

Yamaguchi nods sagely as he understands everything Tsukishima is thinking. Maybe he does. Yamaguchi could always see straight through him. “Ah.”

It's silent for a while. Tsukishima listens to the rain. It seems to have gotten quieter too

Then Yamaguchi speaks, “Do you think in some alternate universe we’re dating?”

Tsukishima shrugs. Personally he doesn't believe in alternate universes. This was it. You got one chance and one life to live the way you wanted to and you better not fuck it up. Too late for that he supposes. Just to humor Yamaguchi though, “ Yea, I think so. I’d like to think so.”

Yamaguchi gives a breathily chuckle the same time the rain starts to pour harder again. The sound drums around them. “Do you think we’re happy there?” Yamaguchi asks him.

Tsukishima stills.

Happy ?

Happy’s a big word. And it could have so many meanings. Happy together, or just happy in general?

Tsukishima could have sworn he was happy with Kuroo but then they broke up and Tsukishima realized just how sad he'd been. Tsukishima was broken. Tsukishima was miserable. Kuroo was miserable too, he thinks (Kuroo’s less miserable now, Tsukishima had noticed, ever since that one long haired setter confessed to him). But misery truly does love company and together, they both fueled each other's misery; pushing each other to their limit until one day they snapped.

I guess that one saying is true; hurt people really do hurt people.  

But...that's not fully true is it? Yamaguchi struggles too. For the years he's stayed by the other boy's side Tsukishima knows that Yamaguchi is not always happy. He struggles with confidence, he struggles with pride, he struggles with a lot. However, when Tsukishima is with Yamaguchi, no matter how much he is struggling, Yamaguchi is always looking for a way to help out and support Tsukishima. He pushes them both to always do better. Yamaguchi's soft smiles and words of encouragement perfectly balances Tsukishima's sharp edges and snarky tongue.

Kuroo and I...we were two miserable people who hurt each other in an attempt to feel loved but Yamaguchi... When I'm with him I'm not content with just complaining and being hurt. I don’t want to be pitied. I want to be better. He inspires me to be better. We may be hurt but we are hurt together and we are helping each other heal.

Tsukishima nods and smiles. He knows his answer, “Yeah. I think we are happy.”

[110109k]

Hi! So here's my contribution to the Haikyuu! Fandom lol. I'm kind of in a good mood today so I wrote a fluff oneshot for one of the adorable ships, TsukkiYama. I apologize in advanced for mistakes and such. Please, enjoy!

:] xoxo, kai.

- please don't repost w/o permission :]

- images used aren't mine. credits to the real owner :))

__

Words I Wanna Hear

[sad!yamaguchi x soft!tsukishima]

by: 110109k

Yamaguchi loves the rain; he always does but today is an exception. Somehow, the once soothing downpour makes him feel gloomier than he already is. Almost every raindrop that softly taps on his and Tsukishima’s shared apartment’s window makes him sigh- he is just not having the best day after what happened at school. Tsukishima makes it clear for so many times that Yamaguchi can tell him whatever it may be that is bugging him because the middle blocker knows that his partner isn’t the type to spill his problems right away. The freckled pinch server tends to conceal all his problems from others as much as possible and brushes them off with a rather convincing fake smile but of course, Tsukishima knew better. They’ve been together for such a long time so it’s natural for them to see through each other and not to mention, they’ve already been lovers since the start of their second year in high school. About the moving in part, that’s for another story… Tsukishima can read his partner like an open book- Yamaguchi’s aware of that since Tsukki’s not some kind of idiot (well, he is sometimes but you get my point) and that’s what he is worrying about. He knows that Tsukishima will find out what he’s upset about and unfortunately, he is not yet ready to discuss about it.

His anxiety level rises even more when the bathroom door clicks and the bespectacled middle blocker steps out, drying his blond locks with a towel. Yamaguchi discreetly takes a deep sigh, smiles at his lover, and awkwardly grabs a random workbook from a shelf. Then, he plops on the bed avoiding the megane’s gaze. The blond just quietly observes him.

“So, you rushed home without me and not to mention on a rainy day like this” Tsukishima initiates a conversation which made Yamaguchi flinch. The latter smiles apologetically and scratches his nape “Sorry, Tsukki… I actually dropped by at Shimada-san’s to, um, ask about some things and I forgot to tell you. Sorry.” Tsukishima lightly sighs and plops beside Yamaguchi. The freckled boy is even tenser now.

“I thought you’d like those things couple do in romantic movies, you know, the share an umbrella thing but I got soaked in the rain instead” Tsukishima said. Yamaguchi’s face flushes and he immediately apologizes to the pouty blond. “S-sorry, Tsukki! I was just-”

“It’s fine” Tsukki cuts him off making him guilty. Gosh, what should he do in a situation like this? There was a long silence between them. Tsukki is busy fiddling with phone, probably reading an article about dinosaurs or something. Suddenly, the blond says, “Actually, there are some chocolates in my bag. If you want some, go ahead and eat it. I don’t want them” the green haired boy answers with a hum. Of course, it’s from his lover’s fan girls. He’s just that famous ever since they were in first year so it’s understandable but the thought of his fan girls makes Yamaguchi recall earlier events.

“-dashi, are you okay?” Shoot. He snaps back to reality and finds his partner’s face in a close proximity from his. “Eh? Huh- oh, right. I- I will. Thanks, Tsukki!” his voice cracks midway and the blond raises an eyebrow. Oh no. Yamaguchi silently beats up himself in his head. That’s way too awkward, embarrassing, and obvious. Tsukishima probably knows what’s up already.

“What’s the matter with you? You’ve been spacing out a lot” Oh, he’s concerned. Tsukishima is still on top of him, staring at him with those honey-like eyes. He blushes and waves his hands in a dismissive manner. “I-I’m totally fine! There’s nothing to worry about-”

“You really think you can hide things from me, huh?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I mean. Do you think I don’t know what happened?”

A pang of guilt and sadness hit Yamaguchi. He heavily sighs as the rain pours even harder. All his efforts of not making his lover worried are gone to waste. Yamaguchi averts his gaze from the blond and bit his lip in an attempt to hold back the tears that have been welling up on the corner of his eyes.

“I’m sorry…”

“I’m starting to think you’re Canadian, Tadashi.” Tsukishima lightly jokes but there’re still hints of seriousness in his voice but his attempt at making the freckled beauty seems to be of no use. Yamaguchi is still averting his gaze and isn’t making any sounds. “Didn’t I tell you to talk to me if anything happens?” Tsukishima asks. Yamaguchi nods.

“I… I know but I-I’m just hesitant to tell you b-because you might find it stupid or anything and-” his voice wavers and the tears starts to fall. A muffled thunder went along with it. Ah, Tsukishima can’t handle it anymore. He wraps his arms around his lover tightly to comfort him. He feels kind of ‘out of character’ but he can’t bear to see his precious Yamaguchi in tears. The latter responds with a tight embrace as well, nuzzling into Tsukishima’s chest. His partner’s scent of fresh citrus, woods, moss and musk helps him calm down a bit. Tsukishima strokes his lover’s soft green locks, placing light kisses on the side of his right eye, on the tip of his ear, cheek and on the corner of his lips. Yamaguchi’s heart fluttered as he gets overwhelmed with so many emotions that he couldn’t help but to weep even more, a part of it because of what happened, the other is because of the affection he’s being given right now. He snuggles into Tsukishima even more. He feels so warm and safe.

“I heard from the King. He said he saw you being bugged again by those girls again. They just don’t know when to shut up, geez.”

“Kageyama told you?” Yamaguchi raises his head and locks eyes with Tsukishima. His teary eyes and rosy cheeks and nose make the blond a bit shy. He’s too adorable even when he’s crying. Tsukishima stammers and responds with a hum instead. “Yeah… He said he just happens to pass by that hallway when he heard some girls saying stupid things to hurt you and that he could’ve stepped in and stopped them but you apologized and ran away instead.”

Different shades of red spread across Yamaguchi’s face. “Oh… that’s too embarrassing” he squeaked.

“He even nagged at me for ‘not taking good care of you’. He’s got some nerves.” Tsukishima scoffs earning a small giggle from Yamaguchi. Wow, Kageyama-kun is lowkey caring.

“I’m sorry, Tsukki. I just found it difficult to talk about that. I don’t want to waste your time listening to my rambles because you might find it stupid. Also, I don’t want you to worry about me. I know those girls can be mean to me but I wanted to deal with it myself but it turns out, I can’t. I’m sorry. From now on, I’ll be honest with you. This won’t happen again.” Yamaguchi mumbles, enough for the other to hear. Upon hearing his apology, Tsukki’s grip on his lover tightens. Yamaguchi softly gasps. Tsukishima buries his head on the crook of Yamaguchi’s neck, his golden locks tickling the latter’s cheeks.

“I’m sorry too...” he whispers. Yamaguchi smiles and strokes Tsukki’s soft hair. “… I didn’t protect you well from those brats. I didn’t know they were doing this to you” he mumbles angrily. “It’s because you aren’t saying anything, either…” The blond clicks his tongue. Yamaguchi lightly chuckles. Just then, their neighbour seems to be playing some music. It was loud enough for them to hear over the sound of the downpour. It sounds muffled but it was definitely Paul Anka’s ‘Put Your Head On My Shoulder’. The two listens to the music for a while, cuddling comfortably on their bed. The silence between them isn’t awkward but comforting. The two of them are wrapped in each other’s arms with the feeling of warmth and safety. Neither of the two lovers talked. Instead, they just listened.

An idea crosses Tsukishima’s mind and he carefully untangles himself from Yamaguchi. He stands at the end of their bed, offering his slender hands to Yamaguchi. The freckled boy looks up at him with a curious look. The blond motioned him to take his hand. Yamaguchi takes his hand and the middle blocker helps him out of the bed. Suddenly, Tsukishima pulls him in an embrace, placing both of his hands on Yamaguchi’s hips.

“T-tsukki?”

“Shut up and wrap your arms around me.”

“Oh… okay?” Yamaguchi snakes his arms around the tall blond’s neck and plays with his hair.

“Now, sway.”

And just like that, they start to move along with the music playing on the other room. The rain isn’t stopping anytime soon but now it isn’t making Yamaguchi feel down in the dumps. The gentle patter of the rain hitting the window pane makes him calm. The music makes him feel in love and the warmth Tsukishima is giving off reminds him of his home far away. Being in Tsukishima’s arms makes him feel safe.

“I love you no matter what happens, Tadashi…”

Ah, those words sure do make his day.

[haikyuu-and-more-haikyuu]

For your Tsukkiyama friendship head canon. What is Tsukki’s reaction to finding out Yamaguchi eats alone most nights and is basically poor. Is Yamaguchi up front about it or ashamed? How about when they grow up and are in high school? Is Yamaguchi family financial situation better or are there still struggles?

Thanks for the comment :D It makes my day! LONG POST COMING UP ;)

I have some HC about the Yamaguchi Family. 

Yamaguchi Kanami divorced from Tadashi’s father before Yama was born. He was just not good for neither of her and Kanami didn’t want to bring in her unborn baby to a man that didn’t want anything to do with him. She has it much better without them, Tadashi too. 

Kanami got pregnant at a young age, when she had just started uni. She had to drop out, but managed to get work afterwards. Also, she and Tadahsi lived in a pretty small apremtnemt together. They had to pull out their futons each night and sleep next to each other in the common room (search Clannad, Tomoya apartment).

Before she divorced, she worked as a home-nurse (those who help disabled, old etc people at home or nursing homes.) and one office job. 

I imagine they lived in Osaka or Tokyo before they moved. Kanami got a promotion for her office job in Sendai and she and Tadashi packed their things and moved to Miyagi. 

They got a bigger apamrntet. Two bedrooms, for the first time in his life, Tadashi had his own room. Kanami had to lie with him every night for two weeks before he managed to sleep by himself. 

Kanami takes on a lot of evening and late night shift, sometimes even night shifts if money is tight or she want’s to earn a little bit more, becuse they pay more than just regular hours. Her office job pays ok, she wishes it was more. But as for now, they managed just fine. 

Also, I feel like since Yamaguchi and his mother were so close when he was little, they are still very close when he grow up and reach adolescence. Of course they argue and such, that is what family do. But Tadashi never brings up his living conditions as an argument. He understands that for them to be able to  live like they do now, his mother has to work like she does. it sucks sometimes. especially since she sometimes have to work on important days like his birthday, or holidays. He grows up, and maybe he gets a part time job in the end of junior high or even at Shimadas shop to make it easier. As Kanami said, Tadashi is too easy to deal with sometimes. 

It does get better. Eventually. Kanami gets promoted at her office job, but still works as a home-nurse. But she isn't so tired and has a little  more time for her son. They stay in the small apartment, because they both feel  like that is their home. And getting help from the Tsukishima’s helped too. She is not so stressed over Tadashi’s well being when he is home alone- because he will always be at his best friends house when he would be alone home. It’s rescuing that he has someone other than her when she can’t be there for him. 

Now, to the actual ask :D

Yamaguchi’s and Tsukishima’s friendship started small. They would pair up in Volleyball practice, spend lunch together and walk to and from school- meeting at an intersection were their paths crossed. 

It wasn’t until a week after the bully-incident, that the topic of dinner came. 

“We are going to have pork curry. I love it.” Tsukishima said. While they approached the the intersection. 

“Thats sound good.” Yamaguchi said, looking up at his friend. “I am just going to have instant noodles since Ka-chan are working late.”

“Do-do you eat alone often?” 

Yamaguchi nodded. And that was all it took. Suddenly, Yamaguchi was being dragged the other way, away from his home. He tried to get his friend to stop, but Tsukki was too tall for him to have any impact. I don’t want to be an intrusion. Yamaguchi had muttered once they approached a big house. It looked like a small castle. You are not, I am sure of it. 

“Oka-san, Tou-san, Tadaima.” Tsukishima had yelled out load into the big house.  

A lady, with a long bob came out from what Tadashi though was the common room. She smiled warmly at them, although she looked a little surprised to have a guest. Kei, is this your friend? Yamaguchi stepped forwards body trembling. He managed to choke out his name and a decent greeting of his name. He bowed for the woman. 

“Yamaguchi was going to eat noodles for dinner since his mother aren't home.”

“Well, then. Nice to meet you, Yamaguchi-kun.” She smiled warmly at him. Dinner would be ready in half an hour. As the thirty minutes wen buy, Kei showed him his room. It was big, filled with books, dinosaurs and other toys. A big bed and even a big desk and a small table. They started their homework, but in the middle of it; they were called for dinner. 

Yamaguchi walked slowly down the stairs, behind Tsukishima. “Where is Nii-Chan?” He asked. Tsukshima’s anaki was still at practice and would be home later. His father had arrived and greeted him politely too. Yamaguchi greeted him back and sat beside Tsukishima.

They talked about school and Yamaguchi explained that his mother worked a lot and wasn’t much home when he were. But it was okay, since Ka-chan works hard for the both of us. Not entirely knowing the weight of those words. It caused the Tsukishima’s parents to glance at each other, but Mrs. Tsukishima gave him another serving of pork curry when he finished his first plate. It was really good. Much better than microwave ready food. 

By the time Yamaguchi needed to get home, Akiteru had come home too. The oldest boy ruffled his hair as Tsukishima drowned him in questions about his practice and more. Akiteru was really tall! And nice too. Yamaguchi got the see an ace!

Just when he was about to go out of the door, Mrs. Tsukishima came out. “Yamaguchi-kun, you can come and eat with us everyday if you want to.”

“I-I don’t have to, since it yours food and all that.” he stammered back, but beside him; Tsukishima agreed with his mother. 

“Don’t worry about that, Yamaguchi, but if it’s okay for your mother; just come by whenever.” She too gave his hair a small ruffle and smiled to warmly at him. “It’s a pleasure to have you here. Every friend of Kei is welcome here.” 

And then it was set. Each day Tsukishima would ask if his mother was home or not, and if she weren’t, Tadashi would eat with them. The two of them spent the rest of the day doing homework, trying to get Akiteru to play volleyball with them if he was up to it and playing in Kei’s room. 

Sometimes Kanami would walk over and get Tadashi when it was time to go home of the evening and bring a small gift for the family. Mrs. Tsukishima tells her every time that she doesn’t need to; but you are there for my son when I can’t be, so this is the least I could do for you. 

Tsukishima slowly understood that Yamaguchi’s life was a lot different from his own when the months went buy. Yamaguchi told him that his clothes were mostly bought used at stores or hand me downs. Kanami, always looked a little tired and worn out, but was kind to the both of them. 

One evening, he went up to his own parents and asked; why can’t Tadashi and his mother live in a house like ours when she works two jobs? His parent places at each other, weighing their words. 

“Yamaguchi-san loves and cares for Tadashi really well, and she does it all alone too; which can be hard at times.”

“Kei, Yamaguchi-san works hard for Tadashi-kun, but-but still, sometimes different types of jobs don’t pay the same; but that doesn't mean she cares any less than someone who has a bigger apartment. Do you understand?”

“I think I do.” 

Tsukishima didn’t understand right way, but  a few years later he did understand more. He understood that Yamaguchi barley saw his grandparents. He received a card on his birthday. Traveling was expensive and their apartment had little room for sleep over guests. Yamaguchi would spend most weekdays at Kei’s after school, since Kanami was working so much. Tsukishima could see that his friend missed his mother, a lot. And he could see that Kanami misses her boy too. But he hoped that the small make shift family they provided him were enough. 

When he would grow out of his volleyball shoes, Yamaguchi went back to the shoes provided from the school until Kanami could afford new ones. Tsukishima stopped using his brothers old shoes when he got out of elements school and each time he needed knew one; his parents could provide it for him and new ones would be bough in a few days. 

It was privilege, Tsukishima understood after a few years. He were simply more privilege than Yamaguchi, but he never though less of his friend becuse of that.

But Tsukishima respect Kanami for the life she has created for Tadashi and herself. He is loved, cared for and she support him in every way possible. Despite being busy, their home is warm and homey. There is always food in the fridge and more for Tadashi. It’s easy to see where Tadashi got his values and kindness from, because it came from a woman that knew the value of family. 

Hope you liked it. Actually, the asks box is open for all kinds of asks and prompts about Haikyuu!! Feel free to send more :)

[basically-i-write-shit]

Can you tell how little I know about D&D from this fic

Tsukkiyama week day 3-- stargazing AND fantasy/supernatural

Tadashi sighs happily as he sits down, pulling a canteen from his pack. Back in his hometown in between adventures, the elven boy is glad for the break. His party had all decided to take leave and visit relatives or the like, promising to meet back at the site of their most recent job in a bit less than a fortnight. Their warlock Kageyama -- advanced for his young age -- had enchanted some parchment for them to keep tabs on each other, and as Tadashi digs around his pack and sees it a small smile forms on his lips. 

Eventually he finds what he wants and sets his pack aside, his journal in hand. It’s nothing special, just an old leather-bound book, but he recounts the tales from his party in it and it holds special sentiment to him. If he were to lose it, he doesn’t know what he’d do. He could always buy a new book with the money he earns doing work with his party, but he’ll lose all of the memories he has if he were to lose this one. 

Shaking his head clear of worry, the elf opens the book to his last entry before he starts to start anew and write about their latest job. 

Magic flows through the air as the party faces three large orcs, angry at the intrusion. We hadn’t meant to find the orc den, simply searching for the location of an old hermit of a dwarf we need to speak to in order to further our mission. But even with Hinata’s bright cheery attitude, the orcs can’t be swayed and launch into an attack; Hinata, the poor little halfling, couldn’t move out of the way fast enough and got sent flying back behind the rest of the party. Luckily I’m near the back as well and while the rest of the party begins to fight, I move to Hinata’s side. 

We haven’t fought enemies this large before and I’m shaking as I call forth my magic. It takes a couple of tries before I can successfully heal Hinata’s wounds, and just as I--

“Aw, I’ve already read this one.” Tadashi startles, book flying in the air, only to be caught by none other than Kei, the party’s rogue. He stands above Tadashi, the moonlight reflecting his glasses in a way that has Tadashi somehow even more breathless than before and he looks up at Kei with dumbstruck awe as the human sits down, flicking the tip of Tadashi’s pointed ear. “We already know the ending to that one, hurry up and write about this last one. I’m really interested how you’ll write out the enchanted evil brooms that attacked us in that book keeper’s shop.” 

“Tsukki, you’re supposed to be on leave. D  Don’t you have anyone to see?” Tadashi asks weakly, his cheeks burning. He closes his book and tucks it safely back into his bag as Kei shrugs sluggishly. 

“Not particularly. I went and saw my brother’s family yesterday, but that idiot Tanaka is visiting too and I’d rather not deal with the headache.” 

“He’s your brother in law, Tsukki. He’s in our party.” 

“Only on jobs that we have to deal with dragonborn, and he’s far too rowdy to give the party any stealth when we need it the most. Why do you think we got in trouble with those orcs?” He nods to Tadashi’s journal. 

“I still think you should try to be nicer to him. He’s family.” 

Kei sighs, falling onto his back and laying his head in Tadashi’s lap. “Fine, fine. Next time we go home I’ll stay a bit longer than two days.” 

“Thank you.” 

Tadashi is never surprised by Kei’s casual affection like this, even if sometimes it startles him. After all, Tadashi had grown fond of the human as soon as he joined the party-- Kei was just the right mix of clever and mean to be his type, and it seems Tadashi was just his own type as well. Neither had made any moves despite this and often just...existed together. Kei has helped rescue Tadashi from many a large opponent when his magic wasn’t working to its fullest ability, and Tadashi has healed their cocky, reckless rogue too many times to count. 

Still, tonight he’s rather surprised. 

During their last mission, a spell had been cast on Kei that played into his insecurities. The human saw visions of the party members taunting him, disowning him. Apparently the worst was Tadashi-- who had called him pathetic in the vision, and withheld a much needed healing. Tadashi had suspected Kei would perhaps be a bit distant, but this isn’t at all like he had planned. 

“How’re you doing, Tsukki?” Tadashi asks gently as he settles his pack behind him and lays his head on it. He spends most of his nights home in a field just outside of the village, stargazing. Here, he can see millions of stars. Kei says he likes to accompany Tadashi back home because of it; the Tsukishima family lives in a rather large city and it’s hard to see the stars with all of the buildings. 

“I’m good. Now that everything is quiet.” 

“Ah, me too...I love everyone, but it’s just so loud when we’re all together. I need a break sometimes.” 

“Oh. Did you-- Did you want me to go, then? If you want to be alone...” 

Kei starts to get up, but Tadashi grabs his wrist before he stands, and sits up again so they’re facing each other. “Tsukki, you know I like having you with me. You’re not so draining, like the others. In fact...” Tadashi takes a breath, smiling. “Tsukki, I...Like my goddess, you bring me joy and wonder. I-- I like you a lot...” 

Kei smiles. “I already knew that, stupid.” 

The two make eye contact, and in the light of the moon, begin to--

“Okay, okay, I’m gonna need you two to roll a wisdom check.” 

“What? Come on!” 

Ennoshita Chikara rubs his temples, giving Tadashi and Kei a weak glare. “As much as I love this cute little thing you have going on, I absolutely refuse to keep watching your characters on a romantic side-story. The whole point of this break was to get to know the party’s characters and I’m feeling like I know a bit too much about Etsuko and Ichirou now. So roll a wisdom check and see if you two idiots know how kissing works.” 

Dice clatter on the desk and there’s collective laughter around the table as Tadashi groans. “I got a three! My wisdom mod is only a two, so it’s a five.” 

“Tsukishima?” 

Another clatter and Kei sighs. “A ten won’t get me anything, will it?” 

Ennoshita looks up to the heavens and mouths a silent thank you as he turns to the group, steeling his face. “Yamaguchi, Etsuko’s parents never kissed in front of him, so when Ichirou leans in to kiss you, he only meets air because you’ve jumped up into a standing position, thinking he’s having some sort of medical issue. You got lucky though, because Ichirou had garlic breath.” 

There’s laughter all around as Ennoshita turns to face Hinata, who’s excited to jump into his backstory. Tadashi simply leans against the back of his chair, wishing that the romance in the game could be even a little bit true. 

But Etsuko and Ichirou are just characters. There’s no way Tsukki would really like him. 

As he laments, everyone else gets to see the longing look Kei gives him. 

[ivyfics]

Can you tell us more about tsukki's past relationships in bg?

Sure!

So Tsukki has had several (3) boyfriends before, and the last one was…not great. Tsukki had a baby crush on Kuroo during training camp era (sadly, I started bg before the whole nationals kurotsukki goodness we’re getting so I’m not gonna include it), but neither made a move. I don’t think Tsukki would have ever been the first one to do it? Like he’s this first year and there’s no clue this dude is anything but straight. Thing were good for him so he wasn’t going to risk that by asking Kuroo out. But enough about them.

We’re not counting the boy from middle school because I don’t want to. The first boyfriend was an upperclassman that kinda became interested after watching the whole Karasuno going to nationals deal. They were good together but there was nothing to write home about? They didn’t exchange I love you’s or anything. They were both doing their own thing and didn’t pay much attention to the relationship so it kind of faded away on it’s own. They had an awkward situation with a sudden latex allergy and an embarrassing trip to the doctor and they never fully recovered from it. 

It all goes downhill from there.

Boyfriend number two was an ass. Like he was nice when they were alone but then when they were out with his friends it’d be a whole different thing. He didn’t want to appear less of a man? Especially cause he was the bottom? A lot of internalised homophobia and toxic&fragile masculinity there. His friends would say Tsukki was rude or they’d make a tasteless joke and he’d like….laugh and say nothing else. It did not last long, like at all. Doesn’t mean that it didn’t leave some hurt on Tsukki, but he could see through it and why he acted that way. Tsukki feels sorry for the dude now because he can tell he’s going to end up hurting himself more and more with that bullshit but also fuck him for planting the seed of that mindfuck. 

Third boyfriend was great, at first, but then Tsukki started showing interest in more “feminine” type things and having other interests he was holding back on with ex-2 (for obvious reasons). It was a sore spot for him because he made Tsukki feel weird about it and kind of only accepted it if it was a sex thing, which we have already established it’s really not. I think that Tsukki would be a lot more comfortable and would delve more into things “boys aren’t supposed to like” (and it’s in quotes because that’s absolute bullshit, anyone can like whatever they like regardless of gender identity) if it weren’t for this boyfriend. They weren’t openly dating (because ex-3 was not out yet), and while that was fine with Tsukki because he’s not exactly a pda kind of person it starts to take a toll when the person you love keeps saying they’re not dating anyone (I mean.) (and yes Tsukki loved this dude, which is why the breakup was hard. )

There was a slippery slope to derogatory language and it was a mess of things, eventually leading to a messy breakup that made Tsukki spiral a bit.

They’re at a point where their trying to figure out who they are, you know? They’re on the road to graduation, and Tsukki is captain and it’s just the huge pressure of ‘what are you going to do, who are you going to become?’ and this particular dude was someone who was nice at first but eventually became someone who wasn’t right for Tsukki and their relationship wasn’t a healthy one when it ended. That doesn’t stop you from liking or loving people, it’s not like you can press a button and be like ‘okay, no more feelings for this dude because he makes me feel shitty about myself.’ It made Tsukki a little rougher in turn and when he noticed he didn’t like who he was becoming or who he was around this dude, he broke it off. The follow-up to that wasn’t the best, but he hadn’t learned healthy ways to cope with something like that when he’s basically still a kid/starting to learn how to be an adult.

There was a lot of support from home on the ‘where are you going to go from here’ front, but Tsukki is not the type to share any of this stuff with his moms or with Aki because he doesn’t want them to worry. He didn’t say anything to Hinata because Hina was having a rough ass time himself (and those are spoilers! but do know that Hina eventually realised and was really fucking sad he hadn’t noticed in time. it was a very emotional, cathartic moment and it helped Tsukki move on from all of it and showed him he had more support than he thought!! We love Tsukkihina)  and Tsukki is really good at making it seem like everything is fine, but he did have Yama and Yama eventually got his mom involved to help him out. This is steering away from past relationships a little but for Tsukki, Yama really did that.

Tsukki might be in love with Kuroo but Yama will always be his longest love, and that doesn’t take away from whatever romantic relationship he might be involved in at any given time (even though I have good word that the kurotsuki sticks for a really long ass time). They’ve (TsukkiYama) been together through thick and thin, they’re a team, and giving friendships and people who you love platonically in your life a high place shouldn’t create conflict with romantic partners. It’s why he respects Kuroo and Kenma’s relationship so much, and why he doesn’t feel “threatened” by Kenma and Kuroo being so close and having their own traditions.

Tsukki is in a good place right now, emotionally and mentally speaking. It’s why he and Kuroo could get together, I think. If he was still in that place there would have been no room for anyone else in his head, and he’d be busy recovering and trying to get his footing back. And then there’s Kuroo, who has his own issues, but who adores him, and makes him feel loved and safe and like he doesn’t have to be anything or anyone other than who he is. They bring out the best in each other.

(I could gush forever on how Tsukki makes Kuroo feel safe and loved and like just needs to be him)

I didn’t proofread any of this so I’m sorry for whatever hellfire typos there might be.

On a more personal note…Honestly, I started BG with no plan, no outline, no anything. Aside from specific scenes or scenarios I wanted to see, I was winging the whole thing.I just wanted a cute Kurotsukki and that was it. Sometimes I get an itch to rewrite it with a little more thought put into it, but I talk myself out of it every time. It makes me really happy that there are people out there who seem to love it and who care enough to ask, so thank you!!

[thirteenthousandcrocodiles]

Haikyuu Secret Santa: TsukkiYama Fake Dating prompt

for: @wrino (I’m your secret santa)

1k words (sorry it’s short, I’ve been caught up in school)

Fanciful Facade

              Kei knew this was a mistake. He glanced over at Tadashi, who was looking through a frosted window, pondering whether he should buy something from the display. He sighed, before walking over to him and tapping his shoulder, prompting him to carry on walking.

               As they did, Tadashi subtly slid his hand into Kei’s, grasping it softly. A dusting of red masked the blonde’s face, and he squeezed his eyes shut momentarily, reminding himself yet again that this wasn’t real. He forced a smile, but inside he felt as if he was being mocked, taunted, ridiculed. This exact scenario - the wind wrapping the falling snow around them, the bright festive lights that seem almost compulsory around this time of year, the long scarf Tadashi had wrapped around them both, his scent clinging to it – was something Kei had longed for since he was about twelve. But now it was bittersweet, and it bit into him more than the icy weather.

               He wanted to rip his hand away from Tadashi, push him aside as he ran away far off into the crowds, yet simultaneously pull him into a crushing embrace, cup his warm face in his freezing hands and kiss him. Either one would make things worse. Tadashi leant into him, a soft smile gracing his face. Kei wondered why he was suddenly becoming even more affectionate, when he noticed the person standing a little way off from them, staring at Tadashi with an unfathomable expression.

               After some hesitation, the guy watching them approached them cautiously, eyes flickering from Tadashi to Kei and back as if he were watching a tennis match. He stuck his hand out, before uttering a slightly awkward “Hi” to Tadashi.

               “Hey, Kaichi” the brunette replied, still smiling.

“You, er, you look well,” Kaichi commented. That one phrase caused the penny to drop for Kei, as he realised who this ‘Kaichi’ was – Tadashi’s ex.

As the other two spoke, Kei’s blood began to boil. This was the guy Tadashi had been upset about for weeks? This was the guy who had broken Tadashi’s heart? This was the guy Kei was doing all of this because of?

               A sudden tug on Kei’s arm brought him back to reality as he realised he was being dragged away by a smug looking Tadashi, causing him to pull him back. “You’re going too fast, I’m going to slip!”

               “Sorry, Tsukki, I just wanted to make a dramatic exit!”

Kei smiled, before catching himself and quickly stopping. “Okay, so you’ve made your ex jealous. Now what? Do we carry on, or do you want to drop the pretence? Because personally, I don’t see the point of us pretending to date if you’ve accomplished what you set out to do. This is a waste of both of our times, and it’s annoying having to pretend that we like each other when we’re just friends.”

               Just friends. Two words that Kei cursed every waking moment, wishing it was a phrase that had never been created, since it was clearly created to scorn those who had fallen into the trap of unrequited love.

               Tadashi was silent for a moment, contemplating what he’d just been asked. Kei looked at him half exasperatedly, half nervously, dreading the answer although he could easily guess what it would be.

               “Yeah, you’re right I guess,” Tadashi awkwardly laughed out, “Back to friends it is then.”

               Kei nodded, before muttering a rushed goodbye and walking off, head held low and eyes stinging. Tadashi looked after him, confused as to whether Kei was upset about something or simply acting his usual grumpy self. He waved at the retreating figure and left.

               Kei lay on his bed, staring at his phone. On one hand he was pleased, because he didn’t have to endure the pain of pretending he loved Tadashi when he didn’t when he did, but on the other hand it felt so much worse because before, at least, he could pretend they really were together, and he could allow himself to dream a little more than usual without feeling hurt. He didn’t know how to feel or what to do except stare at his phone, hoping for a notification from Tadashi.

               Mustering up the courage after hours of deliberation, Kei unlocked his phone and typed out a lengthy message to Tadashi explaining everything. How he’d had a crush on him since they were twelve, how he felt like a better person around him, how he hated being friends when he wanted more. Kei’s thumb hovered over the send button momentarily, before taking a deep breath, pressing it and throwing his phone across the bed. He fell backwards onto the bed and sighed heavily, pulling his glasses off and rubbing his eyes, wondering if he’d just made a huge mistake or not.

               Eventually, Kei fell asleep, unaware of the tiny ping of his phone notifying him of a short message from Tadashi not long after. When he did read it, his heart leapt and then plummeted. Biting his lip, his eyes scanned the message over and over, glasses slipping down his nose from the few tears slipping from his eyes.

               “Hi Kei…I’m surprised at your message – I never expected you to be the type to confess! Honestly, if you’d said this a year ago I would have celebrated, since I really really liked you back then. But I don’t know if I do anymore….the fake dating thing was partly for me to see if I still hold romantic feelings for you, and honestly…I’m not sure if I do. I’m sorry, Kei. I like you, but I don’t know if I like you more as a friend or a partner.”

               Kei managed to type out a brief reply through his stained lenses of “Okay then” before switching his phone off, and after cleaning himself up he walked downstairs to distract himself with some mind-numbing television.

               He would later see a reply that would bring a sorrowful smile to break his apathetic expression.

               “I’m still willing to try.”