#just throw ur characters into an apartment building together it'll be fine

[albatris]

whenever I’m feeling disheartened and need a reminder that Writing Is Fun, I like to go and reread The Phoenix Building Chronicles because when I wrote The Phoenix Building Chronicles I was just following the most ridiculous whims and hell if it’s not the funniest shit I’ve ever written in my life

like look @ this. look at my narration. I just don’t care

also fourth wall breakage highlights

like there’s also this one conversation between Shara, Tris and Marrick that spans like two pages where they’re discussing the logistics of “glass half-full/glass half-empty” with regard to the time paradox they’re all trapped in (re that first quote)

and honest to god it’s my favourite slab of dialogue I’ve ever written ever because it’s just. so unbelievably unnecessary and elaborate i love it so much

my favourite part is when shara’s like “take this seriously!!” as if the discussion wasn’t literally about whether or not the glass is full of bees

anyway it’s under the cut (soz people on mobile), pls enjoy

“So we were just looking at this the wrong way,” Shara concluded. “We were all panicked because the world is in a constant state of non-existence, but it’s also in a constant state of existence. It’s ended, which sucks, but it also hasn’t ended, which doesn’t suck. It’s a glass half-full, glass half-empty thing. Yeah?”

“I suppose it is.” Marrick nodded slowly. “But there’s really no difference. Half-full and half-empty are literally the same thing.”

“No! If you gave me a glass and poured it half-full of water, I would totally appreciate that,” Tris argued. “But if I had a glass that was completely full of water and you just came up and drank half of it, I would not appreciate that. It’s perspective. It’s circumstance. It’s not just a glass in a single point in time. What’s the glass’s story, Marrick?”

“The glass could be a single point in time,” Shara said, “if that glass is at the centre of a collapsing multiverse, trapped in a paradoxical state of simultaneous existence and non-existence.”

“Exactly! So we’re back where we started,” Marrick said. “The glass doesn’t have a story. The glass just is. And we have to decide whether it’s half-full or half-empty.”

“Yeah, but hold up,” Shara said. “What is the glass half-full or half-empty with? Because the analogy only works if it’s something pleasant. If it’s half-full or half-empty with poison, or bees, then it doesn’t particularly matter how full or empty it is. It’s going to suck if you drink it either way.”

“The saying clearly implies water,” Marrick said. 

“Then the saying also assumes the person with the glass actually wants a drink of water,” Tris said. “What if they don’t? What they’re being forced to drink water they don’t want to drink? Then a half-empty glass becomes positive, and a half-full glass becomes negative. Perspective,” he added again, for emphasis. “Circumstance.”

“Yeah, that’s a good point,” Shara said. “Are you even meant to drink the glass? Because if you’re not going to drink it, then why is its contents such a big deal? No one just sits there staring at a half-full or half-empty glass admiring it.”

“What if it’s a really nice antique glass?” Marrick asked. “Everybody likes antiques.”

Tris frowned. “I don’t think that’s true.”

“Take this seriously!” Shara snapped. “What are we meant to be doing with the glass? Why do we even have a glass?”

“Well, according to this metaphor,” Tris said, “we’re living in the glass. Which is great if you can swim but shitty if you can’t.”

“Well, you can’t swim in bees,” Shara said. “What if the glass is actually full of bees? We never established what the glass is full of.”

“Half-full,” Tris corrected.

“Or half-empty,” Marrick said. 

“Is this world,” Shara said slowly, “half-full or half-empty of water or bees? Do we want the glass at all? What if we prefer plastic? Does the glass exist in an infinite time paradox or does it have a story? Is it regarded by the majority of the population as a negative or a positive? What if one person wants a glass and the next doesn’t? What is happening?”

There was a silence.

“I’m pretty sure if the glass was half-full of bees they would just fly away,” Tris said. “I’m not sure why this is even a question we're pondering.”