#just spent over an hour on my homework just for it not to be marked and for her to tell me i'm doing it wrong no matter what i do

[myheartisonthetrain]

i genuinely hate my english teacher and nothing will ever compare to Mj

[ifearzombies]

When They Have To Have You (W/FemMC)

[This is very much not for minors. This is about sex and BDSM. 18+ only]

Masterlist: [x]

Lucifer:

     Your D.D.D. chimes as you walk through the halls of RAD on to your next class. You’re surprised because you don’t get many texts while AT the school. The brothers & others are never terribly far away and usually take any chance to find you and steal your attention. In confusion you take out your phone and look.

Lucifer: My room. Tonight.

     Your face instantly grows red. Lucifer only texts you like that when he needs an outlet for his pent up desires and sadism and frustrations. And you can already feel the aches and pains you’ll have the next day. Sure, you can say no, but you don’t want to. Plus- the way your pact works is both ways. The symbol of your pact glows on your hand reminds you of this.

     The moment the day at RAD ends you rush home to eat and do your homework. You’re grateful that it’s Beel and Belphie’s turn to cook because what actually happens is they order out because Belphie gets too tired to help Beel after ten minutes. You’re not disappointed to see fast food and you thank the twins with a kiss before running to your room to shove the food in while studying.

     Once finished you take a hot shower and dress yourself up for Lucifer. You pick something you know you won’t regret losing because whatever you’re wearing tonight is getting destroyed. You’re just grateful he replaces all he destroys. Still... You’re careful with what you pick. You do your hair and makeup, but skip any jewelry for the same reasons you choose the lingerie carefully. You then place on a robe and head to Lucifer’s room.

     He’s in the study at the moment. You can hear him mumbling as you head upstairs and let yourself in and you see the items on his bed. You can’t help but blush as you put the leather padded cuffs on, the chain clearly on his headboard. The robe gets hung off a chair and you get on the bed and wait, knowing he won’t be too much longer.

     The moment he steps into the room he locks the door behind him and smiles at you in satisfaction. “Good,” he praises as he sets his coat over your robe before he removes his gloves with his teeth- he knows how hot you find that - and slowly disrobes for you. “Very good, love.”

     “Master,” you reply, knowing just how much he loves hearing you submit to him.

     Lucifer grins and all tenderness is gone. He grabs your hair and kisses you forcefully, instantly pinning you to the bed while his free hand shreds the lingerie you worked to put on. Once you’re bare he pulls back and flips you over, cuffing you to the headboard and spreads your legs while pulling up your hips.      “Mine,” he purrs as he enters you, immediately starting a punishing pace. You’re gasping and moaning wantonly when he pulls your head back by the roots of your hair. “Quiet.”

     The gag is put into your mouth to muffle you before he cracks his hand against your backside, making you cry out and the gag nearly useless. You slightly bite on the ball of the gag as he keeps spanking you, your skin slowly getting more red.

     “Too much,” Lucifer asks with a slight laugh as he stops swatting your ass to lean over you and grab your hair, pulling your head back as he bites your ear. 

     You shake your head no. Even with the pain, you love how he leaves you shaking and panting and completely spent. You push your hips back to take more of him in, letting out a whine of desperation.

     “Good. Because we’ve only just started, my dear~.” He bites your neck roughly, ensuring all the brothers will know exactly who marked up your skin for several days while he once again pounds into you. You let out a sharp gasp as you hit your first orgasm of the night and Lucifer lets out another chuckle as his pace never stops. You can barely ride out the high as he keeps hitting you just right, his cock slamming against your G-spot every time he pulls back and pushes back in.

     He keeps going for what feels like an hour before you hear his wings come out and he pushes in deep, filling you as you cum with him. The sheets are soaked from the four orgasms he caused you to reach before he finally lets himself release into you.

     You let out a surprised gasp as you’re flipped over so you’re looking deep into his eyes as he releases the gag and tosses it aside. He kisses you deeply and forcefully once more, his hand massaging one of your breasts before he begins nipping and kissing and biting down your body, only pausing to suck and toy with your chest. It’s slightly painful with how hard he’s sucking on your teats, your body jolting from the sensations before he relents and moves lower.

     Lucifer bites on your inner thighs, leaving even more bruises before he sits back up while his finger toying with your clit as he admires his handiwork of bruises and bite marks over your skin. “Perfect~.”

     The word makes your body slightly relax as you know he’s about to be slightly more gentle- emphasis on the ‘slightly’. It is at least a chance to catch your breath before he presses a hand to your abdomen so you can feel him slowly enter you again. You slightly wince at the pressure as your frame trembles.

     Your body is so sensitive and his cock is overwhelming. You gasp as he starts moving slowly, his hand keeping firm so you feel every inch of him move in and out of you. “M-Master!”

     “Tell me, love. What do you want,” Lucifer asks coyly, knowing you’re about to beg. It’s why he removed the gag. He wants to hear you beg for more as you moan wantonly.

     Beg you do, obeying his wordless command to please him. “Master please! Please! F-Fuck me hard! Use me!”

     “Good,” he growls before his hand goes to your neck. He doesn’t squeeze or choke. No. He just keeps it there so you know he owns you. That no one else can take you to bliss like this but him. His hips rock into you as his wings shiver behind him. You can’t help but think of how beautiful he is in the moment before you cum for him again and feel your slick and his cum inside you slightly leak out with each thrust.

     Lucifer’s hand eventually moves from your neck to pinch and tease your chest more while your back arches from the pain and pleasure. You let out a load moan and you hear him chuckle as you realize the entire household likely heard you. Your blush deepens at the thought before Lucifer grabs the flogger and gently teases over your chest and stomach by dragging the flails across them.

     He pulls out and flips you back over, once again dragging the flogger down your back. He pushes back in and begins marking your back with the device, causing you to cry out loudly as each lash bruises your skin. He once again grabs your hair by the roots and uses it as an anchor to hold onto you as his thrusts get faster and more desperate, his other hand still lashing at your back and ass. You practically scream as your orgasm again, your walls spasming, frame trembling, arms unsteady and threatening to collapse under you. They would give up and you’d crumble if it wasn’t for Lucifer’s steady grip on your hair.

   He then throws the whip to the other side of the room and grabs the headboard. His moans are still quiet as he breathes heavily, rocking into you to the point you are scared the bed will break beneath you as he builds you up to another orgasm while he fills you. And even then he keeps going.

     Your voice is starting to go hoarse, your body is aching, you’re thirsty, the bed is soaked as you crescendo again and again. It’s nearly four hours later that Lucifer pushes into you again, hitting his third climax. Your body goes limp on the bed, tongue lolling out of your mouth as you lay there completely and utterly spent.

     He gives you a sweet kiss to your neck and finally undoes the cuffs while he pulls out. He then gently lifts you and puts you in your robe before setting you on a soft chair and dresses himself. Lucifer then scoops you up and begins carrying you to the bathroom. Neither of you are concerned if the other brothers see you as they all likely locked themselves in their rooms with jealousy like they do when this happens.

     He runs a warm bath and gently cleans the both of you off, pressing gentle kisses to each bruise and bite he can as he gives you praises for being so good for him. You melt against him, eyes heavy with a need for rest but loving the gentle aftercare Lucifer’s giving you to want to sleep through it. Once he’s done washing you, he dries you both off and carries you back to his room. He sets you back on the soft chair before he changes the sheets and making sure all is dry and clean before setting you down on the bed. He climbs in the bed beside you and gives you one last gentle kiss before you finally rest.

     “Goodnight, my love.”

[crow-stars]

❝A PATH UNKNOWN, A PATH TO KNOW❞

❦summary; well-intentioned acts can sometimes lead to situations that aren't the best, but only by looking on the bright side can it be made fun again ♪the characters in this story; gn!reader, deuce spade ✎word count; 1,250 ❀what do the ghosts say?; romantic, deuce is trying very hard, picnic, getting lost, like one or two kisses, fluffy cute times ☛the author's notes; nothing to note... ☪look at the catalogue?

Today was Deuce’s turn to take you out on a little date and he decided to do a picnic to show off his recent culinary skills. He had spent a good week preparing for the end of the week, hyping you up and talking excitedly about it with his friends, so much so that they could recount Deuce’s plans, word for word. Ace has even taken a habit of teasing Deuce for being so “whipped”, to which Jack is swift to try and reassure Deuce that what he was planning was perfectly fine. 

After a long week practicing the meals and planning the routes, the weekend finally arrived and Deuce was waiting for you at the agreed meeting spot. The two of you were dressed in comfortable clothes as Deuce planned a small hike through the woods to get to the spot he had chosen out. 

The two of you talk with one another, with Deuce noticeably being more energetic about this date than you. It was cute, seeing the Heartslaybul student so cheerful and excited about all his hard work coming into fruition. So, taking your hand, with the picnic basket in his other hand,  Deuce began tugging you along after him, eager to bring you to the spot he picked out. 

Supposedly, from what Deuce had been describing, it was a really pretty spot in the woods that had nice lighting, secluded, but not too secluded, with the “softest grass ever”, as Deuce had so proudly stated. It was enough talk to get you excited about this oh so special spot, which is exactly what Deuce wanted.

The beginning of the walk there was quite relaxing, what with talking back and forth with Deuce, the usual banter between the two of you coming easily. The holding of hands is also a nice bonus, something that didn’t happen as often as either of you would like. Walking through the forest, hand in hand, talking with one another as the sounds of nature surround the two of you was romantic and quite sweet, only made sweeter after a long week of classes and homework. 

After half an hour passes is when you decide to ask Deuce about the spot of his. 

“Deuce, are we there yet? You said it’d only take a bit.”  

Deuce took a second to pause. He could’ve sworn it was nearby, it was supposed to be nearby. Surely Deuce couldn’t have forgotten. He marked the way he took to find the clearing and was taking the exact same way he took. Deuce gnaws nervously at the inside of his cheek and feels you squeeze his hand to get a response from him. 

“Y-Yeah! We’re almost there, don’t worry! Just a bit more, I promise!” Deuce responded quickly, squeezing your hand and giving you a confident smile. 

With that, the two of you continue walking, still talking, still enjoying each other’s presence, though with Deuce being a bit more antsy. He didn’t want the date he had spent so much time planning to be ruined, especially since you had cleared your schedule for the day to make time for it. He didn’t want this to become a waste of time with a less than ideal outcome. 

After another few minutes, maybe another twenty or thirty minutes, Deuce feels another tug to his hand, this time with you stopping him. 

“Deuce, can we take a break? My legs are killing me.” 

“Oh!” Deuce is quick to guide you over to a fallen log, making sure you’re properly settled on it like a proper gentleman could. Or as much as one could when you were out in a forest. “Sorry, I didn’t realize we were walking for so long.” 

Once you’re settled, Deuce sits down beside you and leans his head on your shoulder. There’s only silence between the two of you, the occasional chirp of the birds or rustling of the leaves from some forest. Deuce feels your hand raise to his hair, fingers gently carding through his navy blue locks in a slow and repetitive way that’s undeniably calming. The act could almost make Deuce fall asleep, yet he doesn’t, wanting to enjoy the feeling of being close to you instead. 

A large sigh leaves Deuce’s lips as he scoots closer to you, arms around your abdomen in a side hug. “I’m so sorry... I forgot where the path was...” A huff of air escapes him, a light pout forming on the student’s lips, sulking almost at his perceived failure. 

Deuce could feel you let out an exhale of air, something that seemed like the cross between a chuckle and a sigh. You pressed a kiss on top of Deuce’s head, which cause his skin to flush red, and sigh once more. “It’s okay Deucey.” You paused for a second, pressing a light kiss on Deuce’s cheek, which this time is returned. “Besides, we can just have our picnic here on this trunk, yeah? It might not be the spot you chose out, but it’s still pretty nice.” 

 For a few seconds, the cogs in Deuce’s brain turn, almost visible in the way he looks around the area, as if trying to see if it would be a truly acceptable area to replace the other one that was planned for. Spacious, not exactly flat, but there weren’t many objects on the ground that could be uncomfortable under the blanket. 

“Mmm... I guess...” 

Deuce gets up and begins to unpack the basket, with you helping to spread out the blanket. Deuce insisted on being the one to take out the food, setting it out and organizing it in an appealing way. A lot of the dishes had egg as the main ingredient. Of course, there were other dishes that balanced out the amount of egg as well as a few desserts that Deuce said Trey helped him out with. 

The rest of the date went as well as Deuce could hope. Of course, this was partly a test on Deuce’s culinary skills, but being able to eat foods that both of you enjoyed was definitely the highlight of the outing. Soon enough, it was time to head back, with Deuce taking most of the clean up duty. Luckily, heading out of the forest was better than going in, being able to exit the forest before it got too dark to navigate. And when it was over and time to head back to your respective dorms, you hugged Deuce tightly, gentle smiles on both of your lips.

“Today was fun. Besides the fact that we almost got lost,” deuce winces visibly, which gets a laugh out of you. “It was fun!” 

Deuce chuckles and hugs you just as tightly as you are, or as best as he could with the basket still in his hands. “I’ll pick a better spot next time, I promise.” 

You smile at him and the two of you share a kiss, both parts sweet and loving before separating and going to your respective abodes for the night. Deuce was left feeling giddy, canceling out the feelings of dread and disappointment from earlier. It lasts all the way until he gets to his dorm, where Ace was awake and waiting, that signature smile of the red head curled onto his lips. 

“Sooo, Deucey, how was your date? Didn’t get lost, did ya?” 

Deuce glares at Ace despite the fact his cheeks burned, throwing his school gloves at Ace and muttering at him to shut up.

[haggamennon]

♡Light Shower♡

How He treats you and one of your dates:

Louis x Herbivore!GN!Reader (Romantic)

+

(The Shishigumi Lions just being goofy and giving moral support to Louis)

TW: Fluff, Angst, and other things.

(not that much scary but if you feel uncomfortable reading, please, don't read)

Since you are a Herbivore, he would have maximum protection over you. He notice that tou were really shy near the other, he thought it was cute.

When the night comes, when everyone is sleeping, He spends hours talking to you on video call (even if you have been talking all day).

(he became more protective over you, and always keeps in touch with you, afraid of losing you).

To him, you are everything, he even told his dad that He won't need an arranged marriage because he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

If there's anyone bothering or even taking your attention away from him. He'd make sure to show the person that you're taken.

When there are any holidays or when it is weekend, you two decide to have a movie night. In my mind, I think he's a huge fan of cartoon (Since he lost half of his childhood with... you know what....My Poor Baby😭😭😭)

He would sit with you on his lap while watching it. If any climax happens, he'll start asking a thousand questions about it...

He even gave you a gift. Two necklaces, one with a padlock and the other with a key, they were really special for both of you.

He stayed with the padlock collar and you stayed with the key one. (He said it was because he only had eyes for you and wanted to show you that he would never leave or betray you, and he kept his promise)

TW: Mentions of Anxiety, Depression and fear.

When He got disappeared during the festival, you started getting anxious, you couldn't find him anywhere.

You texted and tried to call him with your phone, but nothing. After a some months that looked like years, He appears just to unenroll from school...

When He comes to your dorm, to give you one last goodbye kiss. But all He saw was you with red eyes and your cheeks fur all wet from crying. He just realized that he might have made a big mistake by leaving you behind, but He didn't have a choice...

For the past one hour, He spent it by hugging you and apologizing a lot in between the hug.

He kept the promise. He never took off the necklace, nor did you.

You were so sad and worried that you just were happy and relieved that he was safe. You cried during the hug, making the crook of his neck all wet from your tears.

He keep contact with you after he left. He promised to hangout with you during weekends.

He always spoil you with gifts and flowers (you dorm basically is a garden from how much He cares about you)

When He told you that he was the Boss of the Shishigumi, you almost freaked out. You knew they're a gang made of Lions and they eat meat.

You were waiting for an day to tell him about your number mark...

One of your dates:

It was Saturday, you have finished your homework and were leaving the bathroom after a nice bath, you notice there was a left message from your Boyfriend.

"Hey. Ready to go out for dinner and spend some time together?"

"Yep. I just left the bathroom, I'll put my clothes and meet you outside the school. Just 15 minutes and I'm there, See you there♡"

"Okay, I'll be waiting♡"

You put on a casual outfit and uses a perfume and other things just to look perfect to go out with him. You pick up a jacket, to keep your dorm keys and your School ID Card with you all the time. You headed outside the building and went to the gates of the school. When you exit the place, you saw an expensive car parked near the school, Louis was leaning against the car, waiting for you while he thought about something else.

"Hey Louis!" You make him jump a little, making him look in your direction and give a slight passionate smile. "Sorry for making you wait here, hehe..."

"That's alright. How are you doing, anything new at school?" He asked as he walks towards you and give you a soft kiss on your lips.

"Just the usual things... Oh, right, Els told me that a new member entered the Drama Club, she said he's a Dall Sheep. He's quite a teasing type of guy, most of the carnivores hate him already..." You giggle at the end of your sentence.

He let out a soft laugh. "Looks like they are already replacing me, that's good, to be honest." He opens the car door and waits for you to enter. "Shall we go? There are some people who have been wanting to meet you for a while."

"Should I be scared about it?" You make a joke about it as you enter the car and wait for him to enter the car, you notice that there's a Lion driving the car and you get a little more nervous but you wave it off. "Oh, by the way. Where did you want to bring me?" You look at Louis with a soft smile.

He gives a slight chuckle. "You will know when we arrive there~" He says in a teasing and excited tone as he closes the door and tells to the Lion to start driving to the destination. During the way, you two start talking about some things, about the school, about his business, and how each other looks beautiful on this night.

Once you two arrive, a Lion opens the door for both of you to exit the car, you look up at the building. "W-woah, this sure is a huge building."

"I know right" He chuckles. You two start heading inside and he leads you to a dining room, that is covered in decorations and the table only has meatless food, it seems that Louis ended up asking them not to show any kind of meat in front of you... " Welcome to our major criminal organization that controls the Black Market, The Shishigumi"

You notice some Lions walking into the dining room and they seem really excited to meet you. Louis gives them an angry look, maybe he has to maintain a serious and dominant posture to keep them in line. When they see the expression on his face, they seem to chicken out and leave, having left a few more dishes on the table.

"Let's start eating then, those Lions don't eat vegetables so we'll have to enjoy it while there's still time, haha." He sits near you and both of you starts eating.

When the two of you were done eating, some Lions came over and started clearing the plates from the table. You sit there and talk for a while. When it was already late, the two of you started walking towards the main hall.

When you were at the gates of the building. You started talking with him. "I really liked this date..."

"Did you? What was the best part of our date?" Both of you stop outside the building gates.

"I think the best part of this date was hanging out with you. Every time you're around, time seems to stop. What I mean is I enjoy every moment when I'm around you" You hug him, time seems to stop and neither of you wants to break the hug.

"Was that a declaration of your love for me?" He makes a joke and you laugh, he breaks the hug and now he's looking at you with a passionate look on his eyes.

"You can think of it that way if you want." You look at him with a smile. "I think it's a 'see you next Saturday'..." you start walking towards the car but you stop and turn towards him, you kiss him and start running towards the car. "See you some other day! I love you! Bye!"

Louis froze, not knowing how to react. In the background, inside the building, you can hear male voices celebrating, it seems that they were spying on you two from afar, haha.

His face become all red and he couldn't even say a word. He could only see you walking away, his heart started beating wildly, it felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest.

As you entered the car, there was a Lion with a happy face. He starts driving to Cherryton then he breaks the silence "Haha, He sure loves you" He compliments your relationship. "I'm glad you make him feel happy, he seemed quite sad before unenroll from school..."

"Thank you, I really hope he isn't making so much trouble with you guys, ehe" You say to him, with a gentle voice. You keep looking outside the window, seeing some stores still open. As you arrive to your destination you say goodbye to the Driver and walk inside the school gates.

Once you arrived to your dorm room. There was just you there, probably your roommates went to a party... You go to the bathroom and take a nice shower again, and put a shorts and one of Louis T-shirt (that you stoled from him and now it is your pajama).

Once you lay down the bed, you check your phone and you see a message left from Louis.

"Did you arrive safe and sound?" He texted to you

"Yes, thanks for taking me on this date, I loved it^^" You sent it to him.

"Good. I'm happy you liked it, now take a rest. I love you ♡" He sends you a photo of him on his bed, smiling at the camera. "If you dare send this photo to someone else I will kill you😒"

You reply "You look cute on this one, I'll put it as my cell phone's wallpaper♡" You start to slightly laugh about it. "I love you too♡ Goodnight, Bambi"

"Night, Sweetie♡" He replies your message and you put your phone away to charge it.

You look up, staring at the ceiling with a passionate smile on your face. You start thinking about how lucky you are from having a wonderful boyfriend. You start to feel sleep consume you, you end up falling asleep with a small smile on your face.

I hope it was nice enough to make your day a little better, took me 3 days to do it, cuz I'm lazy.... this was an Idea that I had, well then...

Byeee! 👋(Also, if you want any character, my door is always open for ideas, just ask me and I'll bring it to you all)

[jeanie-g]

I need more!!!!

'a gold star for me' plz

you ask and i shall deliver!! this is an au where jack is a middle school english teacher who wants to go into sports journalism and nico is the hot, new gym teacher that gets his goat!

also featuring trevor as the science teacher all the 8th grade girls have a crush on and jamie as his teacher's aide (who trevor is desperately trying to woo). also sebastian aho cuz i needed a villain lmao

it's hot, it's funny, it's relatable, and even a bit inspirational at times (i hope). it also might be my longest fic (with, like, actual chapters! wowza!)

here's a couple snippets:

The last essay of the semester, on a handful of Ray Bradbury’s short science fiction stories, was due at the start of last class. Jack had managed a good rate of on-time turn-ins, of varying quality but nonetheless complete, which bodes well for his end-of-semester performance review. Daniel turned his in on Monday, which wasn’t a surprise, and Jack was able to mark it over his evening tea, reading it and giving it its deserved A+ before the kettle even whistled. As for the rest, Jack dedicated a solid two hours to the task last night, breaking out his lucky red pen and using it frequently. Now, Friday morning, he has a stack of graded papers on his desk ready to be handed out before the weekend. Well, except Charlotte’s.

Charlotte was suspiciously absent on Wednesday, which isn’t out of the norm, really—her multiple absences was something he brought up to her mother during their parent-teacher conference last month, though the woman just sighed and said that she got frequent stomach aches (Jack wasn’t about to comment that her ailments had the habit of landing on test days). It’s not that Charlotte isn’t smart—Jack would hate to say she has potential if she only just applied herself—she just doesn’t want to be there. Jack has had more than his fair share of students like that. If it weren’t for their parents’ expectations—and their checkbooks funding their frankly overpriced tuition—kids like Charlotte would flunk out voluntarily. They always seem to get cold feet right before report cards come out, though.

Charlotte continues in her excuse train, and Jack waves a hand for her to stop. He’s heard it all before, and Charlotte is as transparent as a glass door, but Jack knows they’ll both be miserable if he gives her grief for it now. The whole point of getting these all done the night before was to have an easy, stress-free weekend with no homework of his own. All but forcing Charlotte to scribble some half-thought out mess on some looseleaf during her study hall would only stress them both out—Charlotte for obvious reasons, and Jack, because he’d be the one who’d have to actually read it.

and!

“What are you drinking?” Nico asks, and Jack had almost forgotten about the empty glass in front of him. Jack opens his mouth to answer but hesitates.

Part of Jack wants to lengthen this moment between him and Nico, really stretch it out as long as he can make it. Another part wants to nod his head towards the door, grab Nico’s hand, and pull him through it. With the way Nico is looking at him right now, he doesn’t think it’ll be too difficult. He’s certainly spent less time working up the nerve to make the big ask with other men, but something is telling him to let this moment grow—slow down the drive and coast a little.

“Gimlet,” he says, and Nico flags down Ana as she passes to order two for the both of them. Ana nods and grabs the well-loved bottle of Ketel One. He’ll let Nico take the lead and see where he ends up. He seems more than capable.

With Nico sitting down now, Jack can study his arms resting on the bartop, thick and covered in fine, dark hair. His gaze travels up the line of them, and he notices the bulk of his biceps stretched along the fabric of his shirt. “So, you’re new in town, checking out the local scene?”

Nico nods, catching Jack studying him with a cheeky smile. “Yes. I don’t really know anyone in the area yet. This seemed like a good place to start.”

“Well, yeah, Salt Crab’s the best. Isn’t that right, Ana?”

Ana turns around, towel in one hand drying some wine glasses. “Sweet talk’s not gonna make those drinks free, Hughes.”

Jack’s laugh bubbles out of him, and he catches Nico staring at him, like he’s hanging onto his every sound. Nico’s eyes flick to the floor and back up.

“You have a nice laugh,” he says, and Jack has to divert the conversation before he starts blushing like a schoolboy.

thanks for the ask, @solip1386 <333

[uncontrolledfission]

day 7 of 100 days of productivity 💌

No photo today because I was just in the house all day and nothing too interesting happened. But today I worked on a bit for each subject.

Maths, I worked on my homework which was just second derivatives and therefore pretty easy, and a bit of mechanics but not much.

In CS, I spent an hour and a half trying to write a program to determine if a number is happy or not (basically means that, the digits of the number, when squared and added up, and repeated, eventually reach 1). I did not succeed. I looked up how to do it, I understand now, so I’m going to let it marinate in my head a bit then return to it.

Honestly, trying for so long to write that was really frustrating. I first tried converting the number to a string then using a for loop to iterate over the digits, convert them to integers again, then square and sum them, but I had issues when it came to getting that to repeat with the final number churned out and stopping the loop if it reached 1. Then I tried using recursion, which is fairly new to me. I’ve only used subroutines once before this so it was a bit daunting. I felt like I was getting somewhere with recursion but the math just wasn’t mathing and I kept getting Recursion Errors or Local Variable Errors. But it’s okay, I get it now.

For physics, I finished the foundations of physics booklet like I said yesterday! However, I got into the physics problem set and honestly it was bringing me close to tears. The problems are important because it’s an entrance exam for a club of sorts which would be an amazing supercurricular to show for myself when applying to uni, so this is the only opportunity I have to get in. The last 6 or so problems I can’t fathom the method for and they account for over 50% of the marks,,, hurrah you need just over 50% to get in. I’m going to ask my physics teachers on Monday because I refuse to let this chance slip from my grasp.

Regardless of those obstacles, I’m proud of myself for really giving both of them a good go. I’m going to give it another crack tomorrow and ask for help afterwards.

- J

[vincent-sinclair-deserved-better]

A Little Bit Of Heaven, A Little Bit Of Hell

I wasn't able to write today because the day drained me and I am frustrated so I'll just split this in two parts I guess (I just want to show it to people asdffgasad)

Characters: Judah (by @bluecoolr), Esther (yet to be introduced? mayhaps?), other minor background characters

Words: 3023

Content warnings: religion/Christianity, religious guilt, bible quotes, it's been years since I was in church so I'm making stuff up as I go, mention of murder - if you need anything else tagged or specifically marked in the text, please let me know

dividers by firefly-graphics

Where my heart becomes free  And my shame is undone 

It was like paradise. 

Or that was what it felt like in comparison to Judah’s home anyway. Sure, most of the people living in Zak would disagree, they were too brainwashed to see what kind of hell they lived in, but he knew. He saw the darkness wherever he looked, the corruption seeping from every nook and cranny, staining everyone and everything. And he knew the source of it, lived with it, the whole house and family tainted by self-righteous lies and false promises. He’d had to get out. 

Carmel was different. People were kind and welcoming from the moment he arrived, there was no one watching his every move or monitoring his words. They weren’t suspicious simply due to him being an outsider. There was no constant underlying threat of severe punishment for making a mistake. And he was treated just like everyone else; he didn’t catch spiteful glances thrown his way, nor was he immune to consequences or exempt from rules. For the first time in years, he felt normal and like an equal member of the community. 

Also, people genuinely liked and respected the Reverend as opposed to being scared or seeming completely enraptured with him. They came to the services because they wanted to and didn’t get anxious if they missed one.

The town had communal gardens, a bakery, a butcher, all the usual things. It was pretty self-sustained and actual money was only rarely used. Mostly for things that had to be bought from out of town; there were a few people who worked in the city and did supply runs. Everyone helped everyone and did whatever work was needed, to the best of their abilities. 

Parents didn’t have to worry about their children getting a place in kindergarten or school since the town had everything. In the community centre, there was a specific area for children who needed to be watched past the time the school ended, and it included free food, activities, and help with homework or studying. Single parents didn’t have to worry about not finding someone to look after and take care of their kids because there was always someone willing to do it. Alternatively, the town had what could probably be most closely compared to boarding schools, where parents who were overwhelmed with childcare could send their children, along with being where orphans lived. Those schools also offered an option for teenage mums to stay and live with their children. 

Carmel also offered full support for people who wanted to move away for whatever reason, from kids wanting to attend college over single adults looking for a job and career to families who wanted a change of scenery. They were supported on every step of the way. No questions, no criticism, no judgement, no objections. 

Everything was perfect. 

So perfect it was outright blinding. 

But things don't always come that easy  And sometimes I would doubt 

He still wasn’t sure if he had actually not seen the signs or if he’d subconsciously ignored them, unwilling to let go of the ideal vision that he’d had in his mind. It was difficult to bring the image of the Reverend’s friendly, helpful brother David into accordance with the devious person Abigail had spent the last half hour describing to him. Still, he couldn’t sense any dishonesty in her voice, and her tearful expression seemed sincere. It pained him to see his usually cheerful and smiling neighbour like this. 

“Please,” she said, “I won’t ask your aid, all I need is for you to not tell on us. Not yet, at least.” 

Some strands of dark hair that had escaped her braid where clinging to her forehead and cheeks, her skin covered in a mix of sweat and tears. She looked tired and scared. Desperate. He was torn, unsure what was the right thing to do. All he had wanted to do was take out the trash and get ready for a lazy evening, lounging on the sofa and watching TV. He hadn’t expected to catch Abigail and Esther, a girl who helped with a lot of community events, climbing out of a window of the neighbouring house. Esther walked over to them, still holding Abigail’s new-born son. The boy had been fussy and crying, so she had taken him to calm him down. 

“They’ll send her to Saint Margaret’s,” she stated simply. The community home for single parents, teenage mums, and struggling families. A good place, build on kindness and compassion. Or so he had thought. 

Judah rubbed his temples, watching the boy who was now looking around the room, his chocolate brown eyes filled with curiosity and innocent wonder, “And you’re sure you can’t just- I mean, surely someone would believe and-” 

There had to be a solution. Something that didn’t involve him lying and going behind other community members’ backs. There had to. But then again, why would they lie? If what he had been taught before was true, why would anyone want to run away? If the people actually were as supportive and kind as he had thought up until now, why would a first-time mother go through the trouble of sneaking out of the hospital with her baby? 

Esther sighed and handed the boy back to his mother, before stepping in front of Judah, looking up at him, “Listen, I know this is a lot to take in, but we don’t have much time. At this point, someone must have noticed her disappearance. They’re probably looking for her already, and it won’t be difficult to figure out that she might want to stop by her former home.” 

“It’s just... it just seems so... harsh. Ostracising someone, sending them away or locking them up I could imagine, but outright murder? It’s against everything we believe in, isn’t it?” he said unsure, questioning, not even knowing whether he was trying to convince himself or not. 

“I can give you proof, okay? I can prove everything she said and more, just not now,” Esther replied and grabbed his hand, her eyes pleading, “Just go to sleep and act like nothing happened. Pray for forgiveness for all I care. This isn’t your... ‘fight’, for the lack of a better word. You don’t have to get involved, and the sooner we get out of here, the smaller the risk of being seen with us.” 

He sighed but nodded, “Alright. I’ll just... I’ll head upstairs, get ready for bed. You do what you must.” 

With that he turned and left before either of the women could say another word. When he reached his bedroom, he just sat down on his bed, not even bothering to turn on the light. He just stared into the darkness. This was the exact kind of stuff he had been running from. Secrecy and lies, fear and betrayal. Death. But it seemed like it was impossible; no matter how idyllic a place looked on the surface, corruption spread its tendrils everywhere, slipping through the smallest cracks in people’s faith and seeping into their hearts. 

And, contrary to everything he thought he had known, if what the women had said was true, things here were even worse than back home. 

Back home? 

This thought gave him pause, ripping him out of his contemplation. This was his home. It had been for almost a year now, and that’s what he had thought and felt about it as well. The town, the people, the house – this was his home. The community was his community, his family. 

He hadn’t thought of Zak as home in years. It’d been the place he lived, where he was stuck, trapped – his own personal hell. Zak had not been home. It wasn’t home. How could it be? It was led by a bunch of murderers. 

Just like Carmel, apparently. 

His heart clenched at the thought and his chest hurt. His head hurt too. It was too much, everything was too much, and for the first time since he was a child he went to sleep without proper prayer. All he could muster the energy to do were a few sentences mumbled under his breath, before he lied down and slipped under the blanket. He didn’t even change into his pyjamas. 

My life  I know it’s never really been mine   So do with it whatever You like   

Judah had expected there to be some kind of agitation or restlessness the next day, some consequence for what had happened last night – instead everything was as calm and peaceful as always. Nothing had changed. As he stood in the kitchen, waiting for the water to boil, he wondered if it had all just been a dream. Back in Zak someone would’ve already come knocking at the door, ready to take him in for questioning. Nothing escaped Darrell and “The Zakkaites” attention. But there was no knocking, no doorbell, no calls. 

Despite feeling exhausted, he did manage to get dressed and attend the 12 o’clock service, half expecting people to give him judgemental or knowing looks, but everyone just smiled at him. Kindness and trust.  

Proverbs 28:13 – Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. 

He sat down next to the baker, a woman named Sarah, and tried to calm down. At this rate, people were bound to figure out that something is wrong, it was basically written in his face. As if on cue, Sarah nudged him, “Are you alright? You are looking pale.” 

“Yeah, I just didn’t sleep well,” he replied, which technically wasn’t a lie. 

Sarah nodded and squeezed his hand, “Maybe try and take a nap once you’re back home. You deserve some rest.” 

Luke 8:17 – For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.   

The service seemed to pass in the blink of an eye while also seeming to last forever. The Reverend had talked about guilt and regret and penance. About how everyone could be forgiven. Judah was ready to go and ask if the Reverend had a moment, that he needed to tell him something, but before he had the chance someone grabbed his arm. 

“You ready to talk?” Esther said, piercing blue eyes seemingly staring right into his soul. 

“Actually, I was going to-” he began, but she cut him off, “Great, let’s go then.” 

With that, she turned around and pulled him with her. He was to stunned to react at first, and didn’t want to draw attention to them either. 

“Esther, wait. We can’t just- I can’t just keep quiet about this. It’s wrong,” he said, managing to pull his arm from her grasp and stop. Esther turned to look at him, then their surroundings, and nodded towards an alley, “Can we at least not do this in the middle of the road?” 

He sighed, “Yeah, sure.” 

They went to the side of the road, just far enough to be out of immediate earshot while also remaining fairly inconspicuous. 

“So, what is it? Did all the talk about sin and forgiveness affect you, or were you planning to run off to the Reverend all along?” Esther said, an edge to her voice that almost felt hostile, but was really just bitterness. He felt sorry for her, wondering if her mind was perhaps being affected by guilt she wasn’t aware she was carrying. 

“I hadn't really made up my mind going in, I wasn’t sure whether all of last night’s... happenings were actually real or just a dream,” he said slowly, “But the Reverend did bring up some good points. Relatable points. Like, I think it was Psalms 32:3-4, ‘When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.’ - don’t you feel that at all?” 

She scoffed, “No. And I strongly doubt David and the Reverend’s other brothers care much about confessing their own wrongdoings either.” 

“But it isn’t our place to judge,” Judah replied, “That’s up to the Lord.” 

“Isaiah 1:17 – ‘Learn to do right; seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.’” Esther said, “Widows like Abigail. Orphans like the children whose mothers pass in that cursed birth house because if they aren’t deemed worthy, they only receive minimal care. They let people die there, Judah.” 

Psalm 120:2 – Save me, Lord, from lying lips and from deceitful thoughts.   

“I’m sorry, Esther, but that’s just really hard to believe,” he said, unable to meet her eyes. 

Some people had gathered in front of the café just a little down the road, watching their quiet but agitated discussion. Esther clenched her jaw and leaned closer, forcing him to look at her, “So let me speak. Tell you what I know, the other perspective. Just hear me out, or are you so unsure in your faith that you worry you could be this easily deceived? If what I say is untrue, don’t you think you’d be able to tell?” 

“If what you say is true it would only prove that I have been deceived already, so how could I trust my own judgement?” he replied, frowning at his insecurity. 

“Whatever. If you don’t want to listen, I can’t make. If you prefer to stay blissfully oblivious, be my guest. And if your ‘guilt’ is so much you insist on running off to the Reverend, sure. They’ll be grateful, and whatever will happen to me... well, I have no regrets. I only do what I deem to be right and just. And if I could go back in time, I’d do it all over again,” Esther stepped away from him and straightened her posture, putting on a neutral expression, “Just one more thing for you to consider: Proverbs 11:13 – ‘A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret’. Make of that what you will.”   

Everything I once held dear  I count it all as lost 

Hearing his brother’s words come from Esther’s mouth was like a punch to the gut, and he kept staring at the space she had stood even after she had left. He felt sick. How could it be that the past he had so desperately tried to escape from and forget was catching up to him now? Did Esther know Darrell, or was it just chance? He didn’t know what to believe anymore, his thoughts and feelings in complete disarray, and he prayed for some kind of sign that would show him the right way. 

The touch of a hand on his shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts and his gaze met Sarah’s worried expression, “Judah, dear, are you alright? You really aren’t looking well.” 

He just stared at her for a moment and opened his mouth to speak, but no words came. 

Sarah gently took his arm and lead him across the street, towards the café, “Come, take a seat and have a glass of water. Take a moment to calm down, you seem troubled.” 

“I- yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” he replied, voice raspy and almost inaudible. 

They found a table right by the window, and the small crowd that had formed dispersed on Sarah and Judah’s arrival. He still felt eyes on him, people watching while walking out. He told himself they were just concerned for his well-being, but it didn’t feel quite right. 

It didn’t even take five minutes for a glass of water to be brought while Sarah sat across from him, holding his hand and keeping a watchful eye on him. It was only when he picked up the glass to take a sip that he realised he was shaking, but thankfully Sarah didn’t comment. He didn’t feel like talking about his past. He didn’t even want to think about it. 

“You really shouldn’t spend too much time with Esther,” Sarah said, gentle voice having a surprisingly serious edge to it. 

He met her gaze, brows furrowed in confusion, “Why not?” 

“She’s a bad influence. Hiding it well, though,” the older woman replied, “Her parents have been trying to rein her in for years now, but despite acting all nice and proper on the surface, people know she’s secretly up to no good.” 

“But... isn’t she one of the main people planning the gardens? And doing a lot of tutoring in the community centre?” 

Sarah sighed, “As I said, she is hiding it well. Just, be careful. Don’t blindly believe what she says, and be prepared for her trying to use her past as a means to gain you sympathy.” 

The way Sarah was talking about and describing Esther was so different from what he had seen and her tone rubbed him the wrong way. Despite trying to keep her voice concerned and caring, there was clear judgement. Especially the last part of her sentence sounded almost deprecating. “Her past? What about it?” 

“Her older siblings died in a car accident when she was fourteen, she didn’t take it well and started acting up afterwards, running away and doubting the Lord. It got better – or at least more subdued – once she turned eighteen,” she explained, turning to wistfully look out of the window, “She used to be such a good girl, you know? Well behaved, polite, gentle, earnest. Then her sister started getting into her head, telling the poor child Lord-knows-what. The accident was the last straw, and no matter how well she pretends to have returned to that innocent and pious girl she used to be... it is hard to believe. People don’t just change overnight. There’s still something wrong with her, that I am certain of.” 

Judah’s stomach twisted, every single word making the feeling stronger, and by the time Sarah had finished speaking, he was feeling nauseated. No matter how hard the older woman had tried to obscure her acrimony towards Esther, attempting to cover it behind pretend compassion and melancholy, it had seeped through, her words dripping resentment. In all the time he had been here, he had never seen anyone express such negativity. Maybe it was a slip-up on Sarah’s part, or maybe he hadn’t paid attention. Either way, he wanted to get out and have some space to think. 

tag? tag: @probably-a-plant-thing @solmints-messyocdiary @visceravalentines @goldrose-star @rottent33th @immortal-velociraptor @myers-meadow @ace-of-hearts-and-spades

remember, remember, the fifth of November to tell me if you don't want to be tagged, I know all the AU and OC stuff isn't for everyone, not everyone cares about all OCs etc. I won't be offended, promise <3

[galaxybearcat]

Ink

From my first night in this place, I spent most of my free time in the drab, beige living room, which offered the best aspect of this strange group. I watched them floating about their business - playing, arguing, eating - just like any other family. I tried to show my mother, but whenever I was able to pull her to the window, the family seemed to vanish out of sight - the water inside their flat just looking like a trick of the light. Each time, she rolled her eyes and went back to her endless tasks.

I moved the TV to one side of the window. Mother never watched, so she didn’t care. I figured if the octopuses caught me staring at them, I could pretend to just be watching TV. None of them ever noticed me, though. I never even plugged it in.

On the day we moved in, while mother was busying herself with boxes, I observed them playing chess. Despite the pieces floating around their aquatic room, they seemed able to keep track easily. One of the larger ones evidently won, as it threw itself towards the ceiling and whirled around in a victory dance. The smaller octopus sulked off to its room, leaving a faint black trail behind it.

On Wednesday, I became transfixed as I was about to leave for school while watching our neighbours do the same. The two smaller creatures dragged rucksacks with one of their eight legs, moving sluggishly in the rippling morning light. A larger octopus had donned a smart looking hat, and had secured a garish tie around itself. The group vanished into the hallway. I spent a long while at the window, wondering where an octopus might find work or go to school, before being scolded by my mother to leave for school myself.

When I returned that afternoon, I hurried eagerly back to the window, homework forgotten. My new neighbours seemed to be having a party. One of them had trays of seafood balanced in six of their eight legs, and was serving these to the guests - a small school of puffer fish. I watched them for hours, eating my own microwaved ready meal for one. They danced and played piano - arms furiously flailing in practised, joyful rhythms.

On Thursday, I told my mother I was sick. She left for work, and I decided to finally introduce myself, at least to the octopus who always seemed to remain home. I spent the morning baking fish pies (having seen the group eat something similar the night before), and packaged them up in tupperware. Apprehensively, I set off across the road, and into the building opposite. I took the lift up to the fifth floor, counting doors along the peeling corridor. I knocked gingerly at the door I thought to be correct. No answer. I pressed my ear up to it, listening for a sloshing of water, or the movement of the creature within, but heard nothing. I tried the doors on either side, but was only greeted by one grumpy old man in a vest who spoke no English. I left, dejected, and ate the pies that afternoon myself as I watched the octopus children return from school and play chase around the flat.

That evening, the atmosphere in my neighbours’ apartment shifted. The children retreated to their rooms, perching together on the ceiling, suckers sticking and unsticking. The larger two in the living room circled one another, tentacles brushing over their sofa, lights, and piano. The room became darker and darker, shrouded in ink blackness until it became a shadow box. I caught glimpses of the pair furiously gesturing at each other through the fog.

Suddenly, watching them felt wrong. I went to bed.

In the morning, I avoided looking out the window as long as I could. I made breakfast for myself and my surprised mother, and got myself ready for school. I did my (now very late) homework at the kitchen table. Finally, I could help myself no longer.

The flat across the street was empty - drained and lifeless. Water marks pocked every surface, and curtains hung heavy with water. The fixtures glistened and dripped. My neighbours were gone.

That afternoon, I returned to our dull life, and turned on the TV.

[phlistopher]

Sleep Writing

I wrote a humor column in college for the Hofstra Chronicle under the pseudonym Silence Doless, a nod to Benjamin Franklin I didn't come up with.

I was very proud of this work at the time. It's all very Hofstra specific, and the mid 2000s. Against my better judgement, I've decided to republish the series here.

This is the fourth column, originally published October 16th, 2007. Commentary at the end.

Sleep. Everybody needs it, but these days, who has the time? I certainly don’t, what with class, homework, a social life, and writing this column every week. I routinely find myself tired and sleepy from too many nights spent away from my pillow, the effects of which almost always crop up at the least opportune moments. Take for example, right now. While writing these very words I dozed off twice, bringing my writing speed up to a blistering three words a minute. See? I’m so tired I can’t even make a decent joke out of that.

You all know how it goes. You spring out of bed early Monday morning, brush your teeth, comb your hair, throw on a mask and cape, dash out the door and into class just in time to wrestle your philosophy professor because you disagree with his interpretation of Hobbes.

Then you wake up.

Groggily you check the time, firmly decide, “No way.” and promptly fall back asleep. Several hours later you wake up again and move blearily throughout the rest of the day. You promise yourself an early night, but somehow something incredibly interesting is always going on. Whether that interesting thing is IMDBing that entire cast of Family Matters or sitting in a lounge and counting how many people use the word “like” in a sentence, is not the point. The point is that now it’s 2am and you have to wake up early the next morning.

This process repeats until Thursday, when you realize you’ve been far too busy not sleeping to do any of your homework. Terrified, you throw your tired bones at your work. Only you’re still extremely tired and your homework starts getting jumbled together with all the other things you haven’t been doing. Next thing you know you’re quoting Steve Urkle for a paper on the French and Indian War (Did I do that?), citing that the brain functions on a network of bad valley girl grammar for psyche, and vehemently stating that the only sensibly counter argument to Hobbes is a headlock. Ultimately, this does not garner good grades, even among professors who like Family Matters and or Calvin.

Still tired and newly despondent about red marks accompanied by strange looks and warnings about the dangers of LSD, you hit the weekend ready to let loose and enjoy yourself. Obviously you get no sleep. By Sunday you shake off a hang over and to scramble to write your humor column, but halfway through you realize you don’t write the humor column. Now you don’t even get the satisfaction of publication.

Crumpling up your column, you vow to get even with that snot faced, dirty trick pulling Silence Doless if it’s the last thing you do. Unfortunately, Silence Doless does not appear on Facebook, nor is sdoles1@pride.hofstra.edu a valid email address, yet you swear to track him down regardless, even if it means resorting to the use of the extremely realistic drawing included in this column. But am I really to blame? The easy answer is yes, but the complex, subtle answer is no, which is my personal favorite.

That answer has a lot to do with being an overworked American, resorting priorities away from blind capitalism, and living better, more productive, and ultimately happier lives based around generous amounts of sleep for all.

I would explain all of that, but I’m way too tired.

The content isn’t too cringy on this one, so that’s good. There’s some structure and callbacks, so that’s nice. I never watched Family Matters, so I must have been latching on to that as a cultural reference everyone else would know. Is it funny? I certainly can’t say, which probably points to “no”.

[justjozzyjitters]

Old Poem #105

It's chapter 59 of my everyday life,

Not a dream of simple theme,

But the everyday torment,

That comes with being me.

Fifty-eight:

Wake up, just before the blaring noise

A ruckus-- an alarm so rude,

Just an annoyance at the wrong time,

Remaining just in case some day,

My body decides 6:35 just isn't the time.

Fifty-two:

Days pass with the same pattern,

But with day fifty-two reminds me of my thanks,

As 7:45 hits peacefully,

Till a ruckus alerts me to the further anxiety,

A day started too late.

Fifty-one:

Throw off the sheets,

Comfortor,

Blanket 1-2-3,

Hopefully not flipping the little dog,

Pat her head apologetically,

And continue on.

Fifty:

Glance into my closet,

Use my legs as a baracade,

A mountain of clothes seeking to be worn,

A mess created in the picture of my mind,

A fight against them,

Most likely a dress shirt,

Jeans,

Anything that won't tug against a freshly,

Showered self,

Appropriate across work and school.

Forty-eight:

The water is warm on my back,

My hands as they cup my breasts,

Nips gone slack against the warmth,

Then the weird little mark on the left,

Am I just holding off inevitable death?

Forty-seven:

I always toss the towel over my head,

Get out, sit down on the open toilet,

Toss the towel over my head,

Twist and twist to keep away the drip,

Unravel and rub at my shoulder... down

Down

Down

My feet, I rub against the mat.

Forty-six:

Nonetheless my best efforts,

My jeans tug against watery thighs,

My shirt wrapping around my arms,

A twist reminding me yet again--

Failure.

Forty-four:

Dressed, hair dripping,

Coat on,

Lunch packed,

Breakfast waiting,

To bad I spent too much time

Wet against dry.

Forty:

Breathe.

My favorite time of day,

Drive down the highway,

Full north towards the college,

Successfully better than high school,

But leaving us with so little time,

You can't even be a bully.

Thirty-nine:

My left hand is braced against the wheel,

The right jumping between lifting my drink,

Shifting gears,

Adjusting the radio,

Twirling at the stubborn-est of hair,

Petting at a friend long lost.

Thirty-seven:

Catch the bus

Somehow it always comes too

Soon, rushing to meet it,

Or too late,

Rushing to get to class prior to the

Lecture.

Thirty-six:

My bag stacks to the floor as I tug,

Up into my lap,

On my back,

Rushing to meet the sidewalk,

Beat the door,

Bus, building, class,

On still half an hour.

Thirty-four:

Do the homework left from last night,

There is just never enough time,

As if even in counting my fingers,

The lines on a clock,

I still can't keep the right rhythm,

Time too fast,

Too slow,

But how is it Wenesday?

Thrity-three,

Over the hump!

Wake early, go to class,

Do homework,

Wake early, go to class,

Do homework,

Luckily breathing is involuntary,

Drive back not home,

But to a job,

So I can afford to buy my stress.

Thirty-two:

Two job!

One paid and the other hardly at all,

Kids and the elderly,

A shift unexplicitly minor,

Teach old; young dog new trick,

Nieve versus aged but still so much

We've learned.

Twenty-nine:

I just keep repeating the motions,

No one to learn from but prior failures,

Fear ridding unforgiving,

Promises of success but truly only

Therapy bliss,

Always another tomorrow,

But never today.

Twenty-four:

So ready for sleep,

Brown eyes lolled

By Grey highlights,

An itch I can't quite scratch,

A need to brush my teeth,

Too much else promised,

Left to getting cavities.

Twenty-three:

There's only so much I can handle,

I wish it was just as much as

Everyone else

Can't all just be an illusion

I knew there is the struggle and the grind,

Leaving the worst of us to fail out.

Thirteen:

Oh to be that age again,

I muse,

A bitter laugh building up,

My throat on fire with honesty,

Never again would I want to live,

So close to death.

Twelve:

The last age I ever really felt normal,

I can't remember what that was,

Just in middle school,

Talking detailed notes,

Writing my short stories,

Just happy with the journey,

Even now never coming to end.

Eleven:

For once I'm up too late at night,

Can't sleep,

Hopefully tommorow I will be fine,

I could try to write,

But it'd be more likely to be

Able to sleep.

Ten:

That was the first time I wrote,

Not for class,

Anyone else,

Just for me,

The me prior to impossible expectations,

A child to be the next King.

Nine:

God, why are all writers so crazy?

They can be heros,

But ones that live long enough,

Living to be a villian,

Or to die too younge,

Too little inspiration brought to the table.

Seven:

A walk,

Another week has passed,

Still nothing done,

So much still to do,

Leaving me just to drown,

Speaking with rhymes,

No vows.

Four:

My fingers excluding the thumb,

That's the number,

It all hurts,

How can I be so young,

Riddled with a body beyond my age.

Three:

So many chances offered,

But this is the charm,

Two:

I could make the effort to explain but

Alas,

There is no such day as the last,

In not knowing till after.

About 2023, age 18.

[ariaintaiwan]

Day 5: I Did More Things Today

Today was the last day of class before we get some time off for Dragon Boat Festival. Class was relatively normal, but I had a good time getting lunch with classmates at a new restaurant afterwards. When we got there, one of my classmates and I both wanted to get the Mapo Tofu Omelette Rice, but it had a three chilies next to it on the menu, and she was worried it would be too hot. I figured that since nothing else on the menu had any chilies, it was unlikely that their one spicy dish would be that spicy. We both marked it on the menu to order it, but then the waitress came back to tell us that it was really hot and asked if we were sure. I'm a big fan of spicy food so I stuck with it, but my classmate ordered something else. I was glad I stuck with it because it was really good and it wasn't that hot, but my classmate who also wanted it tried a single bite and decided they made the right choice. After I finished up, I left the restaurant and rushed to campus because I had a one-on-one meeting with my teacher. We went over homework and I generally did well, and I did pronunciation practice. Surprisingly most of my mistakes involved fourth tone which is just the tone that starts high and ends low, so I would think it would be an easy one, but evidently it's not. After that I had an hour or so to kill before I met with my language partner, so I went over to the place we were going to meet at and explored for a while. I spent some time just standing in a convenience store half looking around and half just enjoying the AC, then I went to go get some fruit from a stall I saw across the street. I got a bag of cut up mango and pineapple, and I still can't get over how good all the fruit is in Taiwan.

After that I met up with my language partner and talked to her for about an hour and a half. It was definitely not the most fluid communication, but was still an hour and a half Chinese conversation, so I was pretty happy with that. After I got back to my hotel room, I just rested until dinner. I didn't feel like doing much for dinner, so I just went across the street to the 7/11 and ran into some classmates there. I talked to them for a while and got some things at 7/11, but I decided I wanted something different for dinner, so I went to a vegetarian restaurant right next to the 7/11. It turned out that they were closed already, but the lady at the counter saw me looking at the menu and gave me a bowl of leftover soup for free, which was a great way to end the night.

[mahpaiam]

Sunday, February 12, 2023

I got in a fight with my mother again. The day seemed to have been going well; we went to mass together. After, I left to run some errands and cleaned my room. My mother texted me something wholesome about going through pain and God letting all the good come into your life after.

I just carried on doing homework. It seemed to be going great until she came into my room, upset over my skirt, saying it was too short. She said I couldnt wear it anymore, how I never changed, how I wasn't making her happy. This was the skirt in question:

Objectively a very normal length skirt. I always wear stockings underneath. She then proceeded to tell me I dressed like a bitch and did it to please men. She then made me take off my pants, try it on, bend over, etc. I pulled out another skirt she had bought me and wore that on too. We marked my legs and there was only a 1cm difference in the two. I started to get frustrated, on the verge of crying.

She then yelled at me as we argued back and forth over the length of the skirt. It's the same length as all other skirts I had worn before. I then pulled out a skirt she bought me and she refuse to acknowledged that she had done so. When I screamed out no, she shut all the doors and then pulled off her shoes to try and hit me. She then proceeded to cut up the skirt and tell me I wasn't ever making her happy. How it was her or the skirt. I started to cry and tell her all she does is call me a bitch and tell me I do things for men. My aunt got involved and agreed with me. My dad was screaming from downstairs and then came up to ask to see the skirt. He said he never wanted to get involved because all she did was think he was bias to me.

When my dad saw the skirt, he agreed with me, telling my mother, 'how conservative do you have to be to let an 18 year old wear that. when will she wear it? when she's 81?"

My mother still told me it didn't make her happy, getting angrier.

I can't do homework anymore. I cried so much my eyes went swollen. And I NEED to do it. I just spent the next hour crying. There's so much work piling up but I just feel so so sad.

I want to be far far away from this. Every year my mother just gets more and more conservative. She gets mad at clothes I wore a year ago and even ones she's bought me. What the fuck. It makes me so sad all the time, how I never do enough for her. She also has a conspiracy that I'm a prostitute on the side. I'm so busy with school and work and extracurriculars I think doing that must be an act of passion for me to be able to squeeze that in my schedule.

I have great grades, I get along well with everyone, I go to two times a week, I volunteer at the church, I have amazing extracurriculars. It's like she's never happy with me.

I just want to be happy so bad. It's been an hour and I'm still crying. I've locked myself in my room and refuse to see anyone. I'll try my hardest to not come down to dinner but you never know.

Tonight is the super bowl. I know nothing about it other than the fact that Rihanna is performing and that Taylor Swift is a fan of the eagles, one of the players.

Valentines is also coming up. So that means I can't get any work done Monday or Tuesday unless I don't see friends then. I probably shouldnt but we've been planning for a while and Solana is vulnerable with being alone then.

Anyway, I've got a lab report due Monday, physics work due wednesday, history work due wednesday, math homework due thursday, and probably something else I'm forgetting. I'm so so tired. And sad. I wish I could sleep.

[strayed-quokka]

unsupervised || hwang hyunjin

» summary: there’s a reason you skip church on sundays, but no one would ever know that reason was your friend, hwang hyunjin.

» pairing: hyunjin x reader

» rating: NC-17 minors dni

» genre: friends with benefits, smut

» warnings: porn with like no plot, reverse cowgirl, creampie, possessiveness, sub reader, dom hyunjin, unprotected sex, spanking, mentions of marking, use of a vibrator, lingerie, form of breathplay (?), chocking, bruising, pet names, degrading names, brief crying, think that's it...

» words: 2,345

» a/n: so maybe i am a hyunjin blog… sue me... funnily enough i was working on my sunwoo smut when i decided to deviate a little… said sunwoo smut still coming though cause boyyy 🥵

Your family didn’t like Hyunjin. He’d never really given them a reason to dislike him, but your father especially liked to say that there was just something about him. 

When Hyunjin first found out your family's distaste for him, he immediately complained. He was sweet and attentive, helping your mother load the dishwasher after dinner, and even helping your younger brother with bible studies. From the outside, Hyunjin was a perfect gentleman and a close friend of yours, so what the hell was he doing wrong? 

He went to parties he didn’t want to attend if you were going just to make sure nothing happened to you and spent hours on homework that you didn’t understand just so that it felt a little bit easier for you. 

Hyunjin was sweet, until the day your friendship changed into something sinful, and maybe then you understood just what that something was that your father had been on about. 

It had been a Sunday morning and you’d felt unwell enough for your family to let you stay home from church. You weren’t nearly as religious and deep in your beliefs as them, but you still went with few exceptions and little complaint. That day had been an exception, and Hyunjin had come over to make you feel better. 

You’re still not entirely sure how trying to make you feel better resulted in him having his cock inside you, but you got addicted to it and he knew it. 

A few months in and far too many Sunday’s missed, your parents were getting suspicious, and on top of it, disappointed. However, your school work wasn’t faltering (second year of university was going surprisingly well), and your behaviour otherwise was more than perfect.

“What’s the excuse this time?” your mother asks as you come down the stairs, still dressed in your pajamas. You sigh, not meeting her eyes as you go to the fridge to grab some water. 

“I have a big project,”

“And that can’t wait an hour because-?”

“It’s a group project and we’ll be in a call,” a half lie. You did have a group project, but you weren’t doing it today, and your father seems to consider that you’re not telling the truth before he gives in. 

“This is the last time,” you nod, though you don’t think it is. It’s not like Sunday’s were your preferred days to have sex. It just happened to be one of the few times that your family was all out of the house and Hyunjin could wander in the front door. After the time he’d attempted to climb up to your window and nearly fell, that seemed to be the better option.

You wait fifteen minutes after they leave to give Hyunjin the clear, using the time you know it takes him to get here, to change into something you deemed nicer for the occasion. 

You’d bought it just yesterday, a lingerie set you hid under your bed just in case. It was a white corset, tight on your waist and pushing your breasts up and together, with a matching white thong. You liked the way it looked, deeming the price tag worth it as you hear the front door shut. 

“Where are you?!” 

“Bedroom!” you nearly want to add where I always am, genius, but you refrain. Hyunjin liked to be rough with you and you didn’t need to play with fire. 

“I swear these damn stair-” the man stops, his eyes shifting from annoyance to a dark lust as he licks his lips, chuckling lowly as he runs a hand through his black hair, “well, look at you.”

“Thought you’d like it,” he hums in approval, shutting the door behind him and moving closer to you. 

“I got you a present too,” you’re curious now, watching him reach into his pocket before revealing a small bullet vibrator, “I’m going to make you lose all sense.”

He pushes you, hard enough for you to stumble back and fall onto the bed as he throws his jacket off and his shirt over his head, on top of you not a second later. His kisses are hungry and desperate against your lips in a way that excites you, your thighs pushing together from the tension until he’s gripping one of your legs and forcefully pushing them apart, “don’t even try.”

You moan, feeling his large hand grip around your throat as he pulls away, hovering over you, “open your mouth.”

You obey immediately and the amusement in his eyes is clear as he shoves two of his fingers into your mouth, his other hand loosening the grip on your throat while you suck on his fingers. There’s no doubt in your mind that you already look like a mess, but Hyunjin loves you best that way. 

“Imagine if they knew what a whore you are,” you whimper, his fingers moving away from your mouth, down your neck and towards the swell of your breasts. It feels slightly wet from your saliva, and you can feel the arousal cling to your white thong and even along your thigh. 

“Look at you. It’s pathetic,” the day Hyunjin had first learned that you loved being insulted when in such a vulnerable position, marked the end for you. Ever since, he loved to make you feel completely submissive in his hold, especially because he knew that nothing turned you on more. He never missed a second to laugh at you for it. 

Hyunjin pushes the fabric of your corset down just slightly, but it’s enough for your breasts to spill out and for your erect nipples to meet the cold air. He watches you for a second, making you feel smaller while your legs push together and he tsks, “don’t you learn?” 

He practically tears your legs apart, one of his hands pushing your thigh into the mattress with his weight, enough to leave a bruise but you don’t care, while the other moves the fabric of your string thong to one side. Feeling his fingers adjust the piece of clothing and briefly run past your folds makes your eyes squeeze shut, a whimper leaving your throat while your hips push up into his hold.

“Poor baby,” he coos, the familiar mocking tone never leaving him, “it’s even on your thigh.”

You muster the strength to lift your upper body to have a look, but Hyunjin uses the hand that holds your thighs apart to push you back down, hand back on your throat as he squeezes lightly. It makes you dizzy, but you don’t want it to stop, even when he loosens his grip and gives you the chance to signal with your fingers to. You both had your signals, but rarely did you use them.

“You look so pretty like this,” his finger runs over your clit before he spits onto your already glistening folds, using his same finger to push his saliva inside your cunt.

“H-Hyunjin,” he doesn’t answer you in words, rather he lets his hand on your throat move down your chest, his nails scratching the skin. 

“You belong to me,” you nearly cry when he adds another finger, leaning down to suck on your neck, like he needs to mark every bare inch of skin to know that you’re his. 

“P-please,” you don’t know what you’re begging for anymore and it sounds pathetic, the way your voice breaks, but Hyunjin loves it. 

“Please what?” he leans over to one side, and you hear him turn on the vibrator he’d brought, applying light pressure to your nipple. He hisses when you clench around his fingers as a result, and you already know you’re going to come soon. 

“Let me come… p-please,” you beg, feeling his fingers quicken their pace whilst the vibrations continue over your nipples, occasionally more forceful and enough to make you shake. 

“Are you going to come?” 

“Yes! Y-yes,” everything stops. Hyunjin removes his fingers from you and puts the vibrator back down on the bed, and you can’t help the whimper and tears that fall from your eyes, “Hyun-”

“Are you crying?”

Normally, Hyunjin may be concerned, but he knows that your tears are a result of the orgasm you wanted but he wouldn’t let you have, “relax baby, I just want you to come around my cock, is all.”

He stands, removing the rest of his clothing before sitting back on the bed, patting his thigh in a gesture for you to climb on top of him. You do, dragging your body up as he watches you, “shouldn’t I take this off?” 

“No, I want it on,” you nod, feeling his hands cup your ass cheeks whilst you grind against him, his cock slowly pushing into your still clothed folds. Your body trembles as a response, and you swear you may have an orgasm soon just from this alone. He works on pushing your underwear to the side again, letting the tip of his cock move against you slowly, teasing your entrance as he pushes his head inside you before taking the pleasure away again. 

“Hyunjin… fuck me. Please fuck me,” he couldn't say no to that. 

“Turn around,” you do as you’re told, still straddling him as he lets his hand collide with your ass cheek. The sight makes him nearly lose it, and he decides to lose his resolve and push his thick cock inside your cunt. 

“F-fuck, how are you always so tight?” you groan, letting out shallow breaths as you try to adjust to his size, though he barely gives you much time before he’s bringing you further down onto his cock, “good girl.”

You mewl at the praise, sat over his hips as you lean onto his legs. He loves the way his cock has completely disappeared inside you, and if it were up to him, he’d move in a heartbeat, but he knows you always like to move first when it comes to being on top, and he respects what you want even if his words towards you say otherwise. 

When you first move, his eyes shut tight and he hisses, feeling you clench around him again as you begin bouncing on his cock, slow and careful first before becoming more comfortable. It’s when you begin to quicken your pace that he can’t take it anymore, gripping your hip with one hand before slapping your ass with the other. You clench around him every time and he smirks, a deep chuckle vibrating in his throat, “you like that?” 

But he already knows the answer, seeing you sink down on his cock drives him wild, but it isn’t quite enough of what he wants. 

He wants to make you scream. 

Hyunjin uses the strength he has to bring his hands around you to cup your breasts, using the grip he has on you to pull you down onto him, arching your back at an angle that has him deeper inside you than before, and he pushes his hips up enough so he can replace your thrusts against him with his own. 

“Oh god. Hyunjin!” he’s relentless, fucking up into you as you grip the sheets and try to steady yourself but it’s impossible. You let him be the only thing that keeps you in place, pulling you down further by your hair and going deeper. 

“Mine. You’re all mine, got it?” you nod, letting him grope your breasts while his other hand finds your throat again, cutting off your pathetic cries and replacing them with mewls and whimpers of pleasure, “you take my cock so good, fuck.”

He releases your breasts and fumbles with something, and it takes you a second to register that he’s reached for the vibrator and that it’s now teasing your clit whilst he’s fucking into you, and it’s embarassing how quickly you come, screaming his name when you do. 

It’s the most intense orgasm you’ve had in your life and Hyunjin feels it too, the way your whole body shakes viciously against him as he tries to keep you steady, still thrusting into you until his own orgasm follows yours, his cum spilling inside of you, a low growl ripping through his throat when he thrusts up one more time to keep it stuffed inside you. 

You both don’t move for a minute, mostly because you’re both so spent that you have to remember where you even are, and Hyunjin is incredibly careful when he lifts you off him, your muscles crying out as you fall next to him. He pulls you into his arms, though he knows it’s only for a little while before he has to leave and come back later under the pretence that he’s visiting you for the first time that day, supervised.

“They’ll be back soon,” he says, but you want to ignore it. You don’t want them to come back, but it’s not a choice, “you should shower.”

“I don’t want to,” he sighs, gently pushing you away from him though it breaks his heart a little when he does. 

“Go shower. I’ll hide the evidence,” you laugh, hitting him lightly though it’s rather pathetic with how your energy is completely wasted. 

You listen to him anyway, standing under the shower and cleaning your skin, and when you come out, your bed is freshly made and your window is open, a floral scent in the air. There’s also a sandwhich on your nightstand with a note, and you realise he must’ve left before he could say goodbye. 

I heard the car so I ran for it. Forgive me, I love you :)

You laugh, shaking your head at the idiot you call your friend, but you’re also relieved at his attentiveness for the noise downstairs tells you you’re not home alone anymore. 

Hours later, you nearly curse Hyunjin for the knowing smirk he gives you when sat at the dining table with your parents, knowing it’s exact intent. 

He’s wants to go again and this time, he doesn't care that your family is home. 

i am not a hyunjin blog

comments and feedback appreciated. i'm on a writing streak so i'll likely be back with more filth soon also excuse the banner i'm tired and can't afford photoshop anymore 🤧

[yutaabyss]

I love your works! can I request a mark x f/reader smut? both of them are really soft and innocent on the outside but in the bedroom they’re the complete opposite. mark hard dom x submissive reader. filthy, breeding kink, degrading and praising, multiple orgasm w/ squirting, overstimulation (reader screams and cries, tries to stop him).

thank you for being patient! i'm not quite comfortable writing that last bit but i incorporated everything else for you!! i hope you enjoy

(and thank you for your kind words!!)

requested/ study me

characters: mark x female!reader

genre: smut

warnings: breeding kink, degrading and praising, multiple orgasms w/ squirting, overstimulation, oral (f), fingering, he stuffs your panties in your mouth, brief spanking

author’s note: never knew i wanted dom mark 

He was so cute sitting there with his round glasses and widened brown eyes: the book in his hands must have taken an unexpected turn. If only you could see him outside of the library, have an actual conversation maybe. But for now, you had to deal with just watching him read his books at the checkout counter while you attempted to study. 

Mark Lee was the west campus library assistant and was quite a sight to see. He was extremely dorky, ears always burning when you checked out a book and had to talk to him. But you were just as bad, hands sweaty as you’d hand him your books. He was just so cute and endearing as he sat up front, sometimes sneaking glances at you. Today was no different for the both of you. Rain was falling outside as you rushed into the building, your bag covering your head since you forgot your umbrella. Mark looked up from the new book he was reading, watching you as you set your things on the table nearest the first row of shelves. Most students went to the seating area or on the second floor, however, he’d noticed you always grab a seat at the front tables. He was happy you did, it made it easy for him to look at you as you did your homework. 

“Shit,” you whispered to yourself as you got situated. Your guideline papers for a psych project had gotten completely soaked and of course, the professor didn’t post them online. Mark heard you, the library dead silent, “Is everything alright?” he approached you. Your heart raced just a little, “yeah, the rain just decided to destroy my guidelines paper,” you laughed nervously. “What class is it for?” he scratched his neck. “Psych 218,” not only were you completely dying inside because he was talking to you but now you had a glimmer of hope that you wouldn’t fail this project worth 40% of your grade. “Oh, I have that same class,” his eyes widening just as they did when he was reading. “Really, what time?” you looked taken aback. As far as you were concerned, you had never seen him in class. “Morning,” “Ah, that explains why I’ve never seen you in there.” You felt increasingly awkward as you both stood there. “Uh, yeah, um I could make a copy for you?” he felt the same as you. “Seriously? Thank you so much, you are a lifesaver,” you sighed. “No problem, if you want to follow me…” he traveled off.

Mark pulled out the paper, placing it on the copier before closing it. “So, what are you doing your project over?” he tried to sound chill but he was freaking out inside. “I’m not sure yet, what about you?” you watched as the new copy printed out. “Not sure either,” he nodded his head, slapping himself internally for being so fucking awkward with you. “I-if you want we could work on some ideas together,” it was now or never, and honestly you didn’t want to live the rest of your college life just staring at him. No, you wanted to know him, you wanted to see him up close. “Yeah,” he answered quickly too quickly for his own liking.  

The psych project was due by the end of the semester, which was approximately two months from now, but after that one interaction, you and Mark had spent almost every night working on it in the library after hours. It had been a full month of you spending every opportunity with him.

mark: hey, can we meet at my place tonight, i’ll pick you up? new library assistant is closing instead of me

you: yeah sure.

This was new, very new, and you were slightly panicked at the thought of being in his dorm. 

While Mark honestly only asked for you to come to his because he wasn’t closing the library tonight, he couldn’t help but daydream in his classes about being alone with you in a security camera-free place. He was so shy and nervous around you but he couldn’t lie and say he didn’t go home after every session with you and imagine things. It was so hard to not just kiss you when you sat in front of him, your lips so tempting. And it was so hard not to grab your waist and have you sit back down on his lap when you’d stand up to leave. No matter what scenarios his mind made up through the nights and days, he just couldn’t act on them.

“Hey, you ready?” Mark had been waiting outside your last lecture hall. “Yeah,” your voice came out a bit shaky. “Sorry we can’t just go to the library, if you just want to wait until tomorrow night so we can I understand,” he picked up on your apprehensiveness. “No, it’s fine, really.” It’s not like you didn’t trust him or want to spend the extra time with him, you just couldn’t shake the countless scenes your brain crafted for a moment like this. He was hot, you’d always known that, but after spending so much time with him alone, your nights were filled with lustful thoughts. 

Something about the way your exposed thighs rest on his bed, the way the top of your breasts were scattered with goosebumps in his cold room, and the way you seemed so careful as you shifted around into a comfortable position, made all his nerves fade away. He felt rather calm and ready for whatever you wanted to do. “I know we both have our subjects picked out but I kinda wish I did mine over the mind and body's reaction to stimulation, like what is pleasure kinda thing,” he bit into his pencil gently, eyeing you up and down suddenly. Now, you were no fool, you’d thought about it over and over, there was no way cute and dorky Mark Lee couldn’t be a total freak with game. But somehow you were still a little shocked at his shift in mood and sudden vibe change like anxious Mark had seized to exist. “How would you research that?” it was Mark’s turn to be stunned. It’s like both of you had been holding a facade, waiting for the other to break it once the atmosphere presented a single ounce of sexual tension. I guess tonight was the night to show you just how confident he could be. 

“I think I’d need to study another person,” his eyes got darker, more lustful as he stared at you. “And how would that be helpful?” you liked this game. “I could find out what makes her feel good and how she reacts.” “It’s never too late to change your project,” you stared right back at him. 

Mark pushed forward, grabbing your face and pulling you into a heated kiss. His tongue played with yours, his lips probably bruising yours with how hard he was kissing you. He gripped your thighs, setting you on top of his lap, just like he had fantasized. “Why don’t you help then,” he whispered in your ear, biting down on your lobe like he had the pencil. You moaned at the sensation of him rubbing your core over his covered thigh. “You like it when I make you hump my thighs?” he sounded so hot. “Like it a lot Mark,” you gasped as he sucked on your neck. “Hmm, such a needy slut aren’t you? Hiding behind some bullshit shyness,” you knew you were about to come as he moved your hips faster over himself. “N-no,” you could barely handle how unreal it felt. He just laughed, “oh really? We’ll see about that tonight baby,” his words went straight to your pussy making it throb with need. “What if told you I want to fill that tight pussy of yours up with my cum until it’s dripping down your thighs and your stomach is swollen with my baby in it, huh?” he shoved you off of him onto your back, pulling you toward his body by your legs. “S-stop, don’t say that Mark,” you tried to squeeze your legs together but he was stronger than you. “Why?” he kissed your clothed clit. “I think I’ll fucking cum,” you whined. His smirk was sadistic upon your confession. “Trust me, your gonna cum so many times you’ll forget your name.” 

You felt more wetness gush out as he rubbed circles on your swollen clit. “Look at that, soaking through your panties onto my sheets like a fucking whore,” he pulled your panties down, taking in the sight of your glistening folds. “I think you’ve talked too much tonight baby, how about I make you shut up,” “Mark-” he shoved your lavender lace panties into your mouth. Your eyes were wide, “you know,” he leaned closer to your face, “you could just take them out, your hands aren’t tied up baby.” You just lay there still as more wetness coated your lower lips and he watched as it gushed out. Mark chuckled, “dirty slut likes it huh?” he shoved two fingers in you, pumping them at an excruciatingly slow pace. You grabbed onto the blankets next to you, your body not used to taking anything like that, it had been an extremely long time since you’d last had sex. “Damn baby, think you can take my cock?” you moaned his name but it was muffled. “No matter what, you will.” Your walls clenched around his two slender fingers, cumming harder than you usually did when it was your own. You watched as he pulled his digits out of you, his clean hand coming up to pull the panties out of your mouth. “Suck,” he pushed his fingers in your mouth, dick twitching in his pants as you licked his fingers clean of your juices. “Tell me how good it tastes,” he rubbed his hands over your breasts, fingers going to pull your shirt over your head. “Mark,” you whined, feeling a little embarrassed that he made you taste yourself. He kissed your naked boobs, popping the nipple he was sucking on out of his mouth, “Should I just taste for myself?” he crawled back down until he was face to face with your pussy again. “Let’s get this out of your way, I want you to watch me eat your pussy,” he threw your skirt on the floor, “look away and I won’t let you cum again.” 

His plump lips kissed your lower ones like he was kissing you. His eyes bore into yours, poking his tongue out to lap at your juices, then going to suck your clit. “Mark, I can’t,” you wanted to throw your head back so bad. He sucked harder, making lewd slurping noises, moaning as he spread your folds open, his tongue fucking you. Mark kept doing this until you couldn’t take it anymore. “Ma-Mark I’m cumming,” he gripped your thighs harder, pulling your pussy into his face more like he couldn’t get enough. Even after you came he kept eating you out, “Mark please,” he pulled away, lips and chin covered in your cum. “Taste so fucking good should have been eating you every fucking night.” You looked down at him, he was still fully clothed, not to your liking at all. He sat back on his heels, wiping your wetness from his face, “what baby?” he had noticed you staring at his very apparent bulge. “Want my cock now huh?” he teased you. “Want me to get you, pregnant baby?” he egged you on more. “How about you flip around for me,” he pulled his belt from the loops. 

You shifted onto your hands and knees arching your back just for him. “Hmm, I can’t wait to fuck this pussy,” he stroked his hand over your ass before slapping it hard. Handprints formed on you as he hit each side over and over, making you cry out desperately. “Mark,” you sobbed. He thrust into you without warning, stretching you open just for him. “Oh God,” he moaned as he felt your warm walls engulf his length. “P-please,” you couldn’t take it much longer, it felt like you were going to combust. “I-I can’t, it’s t-too much,” you pulled on his sheets, knuckles whitening. “Almost there baby, you’re doing so good,” his thrusts got more sporadic. “Mark,” you yelled a bit frantically as you came on him, your legs feeling wet and the sheets by your knees feeling damp. “Fuck baby,” he bit his lip, cumming inside of you, the feeling of you squirting all over him pushing him to the edge. 

You both lay there in silence for a moment. “Mark,” you said softly, eyes closed as your body fell into exhaustion. “Hmm,” he turned toward you, running his hand through your soft hair. “Did this help your new project?” you smiled a little. He chuckled, “I think I need to study you a few more times.” 

[flamingo-writes]

Caught Fire – e.m.

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

A/N: This is going to be a long list so brace yourselves! Or just skip to the fic fhnsdk

So, I started writing this on Sunday and it's Friday now. And kid you not, all of my free time from work I spent it here, planning, writing and editing this...I really poured a lot of effort here, so I hope you all like it.

Don't let the length of this fanfic intimidate you, I promise it's worth it. 15.6K words with a lot of story and emotions.

This fanfic is actually very personal to me, several of the things in this fanfic are based of memories from my high school with a few of my crushes dnhckjs

The title is based of How Can I resist by Heart. And I know, I have another fanfic based of this same song, but c'mon it's one f my all time favorite songs and I love the lyrics and I can see Eddie vibing to this song

Also, I want to give my lovely friend @storiesthatneedtobewritten bcs Em, you're awesome, and we've been fangirling about Eddie nonstop for the last few days. Em is also working on a Eddie fanfic! So keep an eye out for it!!

Summary: After a very interesting detention, Eddie can't help but think of his bad luck of having met you with the end of the schoolyear around the corner. Specially after your plans for college are so far away from Hawkins. The instant friendship soon had him smitten, and before he realized it, he was in love with you. With graduation closer and closer, things seem to simultaneously get perfect between the both of you, but also messy. The both of you screw up, and hurt each other in the process. And there's a decision Eddie has to make.

Warnings: Cursing, alcohol consumption, mentions of drug consumption, Eddie and the reader being idiots, angst, smut.

Genre: strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, angst, hurt-comfort, smut.

Word Count: 15.6K words

Taglist: @nightless @emotionaldreamer @totallynotkaibiased @kibumslatina @lonely-kermit @angelzone @random-fandom-900 @joukiworld @slightlyvicked

The detention room was always so…strangely, peacefully quiet. Sure, every time he was there after class, he felt the need to poke out his own eyes out of boredom, but this was perhaps the most at peace he found himself when he was at school. When it wasn’t D&D night, of course.

The usual handful of people were there. Mark, a guy who fell asleep in perhaps too many classes. Jessica who snapped back at a teacher or two. Some kid who’s name Eddie always forgot, caught copying the homework or perhaps a test. And the latest addition to the group, a freshman who had been caught more than once writing down stuff in the bathroom stalls and smoked inside the classroom. 

The bunch of misfits. An odd little family Eddie had grown to appreciate over the course of detention hours. 

Eddie completely ignored the sound of the door opening and closing as he had his arms crossed over the desk and his face buried in it. Caught in a slumbered state, not entirely asleep yet, he still heard light footsteps, deciding they were not worth his attention. Not yet, at least.

"Welcome. Sit down. Think about what you did, write an essay about it, and you better not write down that you’d do it again…" Ms. Phelps said.

Eddie, far past the point of caring and half awake state, knew it was someone who wasn’t usually in detention. And hearing Ms Phelps’s instructions, he noticed how for the last few years, barely anything had changed. Same speech, same instructions, and the same lack of interest for reading said essays. Same essays Eddie stopped writing a long time ago, since they didn’t matter. The time the clock struck 5 o’clock, they were off the hook.

He heard a groan, a sigh and finally a loud thud on the desk next to his. And finally, deciding it was worth to look up and see who it was, Eddie saw you. Your forehead was pressed against the table, as you frowned frustrated and resigned, your leg anxiously bouncing; and you seemed to be mumbling to yourself. He smirked amused. 

“Now, that’s a surprise…” He whispered, catching your attention as you opened your eyes and looked at him with panic devouring your eyes. “Welcome to the misfits” He said in a low deep voice, trying to get any form of reaction from you.

‘What a surprise,’ he thought. You, out of all people. He scanned you up and down, the look of a scared animal caught wandering where it shouldn’t was splattered all over your face. Your camera resting on the desk and the strap was wrapped around your hand, an outfit he thought was cute in philosophy class earlier that day, and the sweet smell of your perfume —a smell he always associated with vanilla cookies— reached his nostrils. 

The interest he already had on you seemed to spark. He always found you cute and thought your antiques were adorable. Far too quiet, far too polite, and definitely far too nice to frequent the social circles you did. However, it was part of who you were. And you were the school photographer, a member of the school newspaper. Meaning you were often around the socialite groups, the various sports teams, the cheerleaders, the popular kids…Which was why Eddie never really felt the need to approach you and talk to you. You belonged in another social group, despite your entire personality not exactly matching with the people you frequented. 

You didn’t exactly belong. And more than once Eddie thought those people kept you around mostly out of convenience. The better they get along with the school photographer, the more and better pictures of them make it to the paper. Symbiosis, if you will. You take the good pictures, they maintain your popularity.

“Thanks,” You replied awkwardly.

"Silence!” The teacher snapped, and you flinched. 

Eddie smirked amused, thinking you looked cute. Well…cuter when you flinched. He looked over at Ms Phelps as she soon got distracted in her magazine once more. Biting the tip of his tongue, he grabbed his backpack and pulled out a notebook and opened it in the first blank page he found and took out a pen. 

As you continued to shake your leg anxiously, your eyes were glued to the clock on top of the blackboard. It was barely 3 pm, and the football game would start in half an hour. Nancy Wheeler was going to murder you for getting your ass in trouble and missing the big final, and not getting any pictures. You needed to get out of there, but Ms. Phelps had a reputation of being insufferable, and making an agreement was not an option. Even trying to picture the possible conversation with her, you were sure you’d end up crying out of the utter panic and Ms Phelps raising her voice at you. And the last thing you wanted was for everyone there to see you cry and beg.

You flinched again, as you caught Eddie sliding a folded piece of paper over your desk. He met your stare and gave you a cheeky wink as you grabbed the piece of paper and unfolded the whole page.

‘Fancy seeing you here,’ was written with messy yet nice looking handwriting. 

You sighed and looked at him. Something in his cheeky grin softened into a more genuine smile, as you actually felt some sort of odd comfort radiating from his dark eyes. Eddie with whom you’d perhaps exchanged a total of 7 phrases during the school year and lent him your notes one time he skipped class to go to a concert. You always admired his complete lack of fucks to give. And even found his laidback and usually chill attitude —mixed with his rockstar appearance— attractive. But you were slightly intimidated by him. 

You grabbed a pen from your backpack and wrote down your reply hoping he’d catch on your sarcasm.

‘You know, I’ve always had a fascination for rebellious acts against the system’

You folded the paper and handed it back to him. He picked it and read it, his smile spreading wider across his face as he appreciated your handwriting, far prettier and nicer to stare at than whatever his messy doctor handwriting was.

You watched him glance at you and then started writing. He passed you the note.

‘Ah, non conforming, I see…Good. I like you better now. Excuse my intrusive nose, but I can’t help but wonder why Hawkins High Photographer is stuck in the detention room, looking like you’ve seen a ghost. Did your journalist nature get you in trouble?’

Eddie noticed the way you smiled softly. Amused by his peculiar writing, you looked up again at him. He was glad that he had managed to make the terrified look in your eyes change. You looked back down and moved your pen at once.

‘Well, for starters, Nancy will be mad at me for not getting pics of the game that’s happening right now…And also, I punched Jason Carver in the jaw’ 

You handed him back the note as he looked at it. As his eyes went over your reply and he let a loud laugh escape his throat as he clapped his hands.

“Ah, marvellous!” He sang.

“Munson!” Ms. Phelps barked.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry…” He sighed, raising his hands as he looked at the teacher and then leaned over his elbows over the desk, waiting for her to look back at her magazine before he started writing down his next reply.

‘You’ll have to tell me more about punching Jason…Do you wanna go to the game?’ Somehow, his voice was in your head as you read.

‘Well it’s not a matter whether I want to or not. I have to…But I can’t just leave here’ You replied.

‘I’ll cover you,’

After reading his reply, you looked over at him, slightly confused as he stretched his hand over to your desk and snatched the piece of paper back, wrinkling in his palm as he winked at you and stood up from his desk rather loudly. 

“What in God’s name do you think you’re doing, Munson?” The teacher asked, he shrugged in a silent reply.

“I didn’t like the way my regretful speech was turning, that’s all…” He said as he stood by the teacher's desk and tossed the paper on the bin. “What?” 

“Were you really writing the essay?” Ms Phelps raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“If you don’t believe me, read it” He said confidently, making your heart race as you could see the horror unfold before your eyes as you wondered if Ms Phelps would actually grab the piece of paper and read it. 

But she didn’t. She limited herself to stare at Eddie, her small eyes squinting, almost disappearing from her face. 

“You’re up to something…” She said, making Eddie chuckle. 

“Must I always have a master plan behind everything I do? Am I not just free to do things for the sake of it?” He asked with his sarcastic smirk on his face.

“You speak far too eloquently for someone who keeps repeating senior year…”

“I’m going to pretend like that wasn’t an insult in disguise and instead take it as a compliment because you called me eloquent. I spend a lot of time reading. Besides, it’s but a single class the one I’m struggling with, the rest I know the lectures almost by heart now…” His smile grew into a toothy proud smirk. 

Eddie avoided looking up at you to draw any suspicion. And as the teacher continued to bicker with him, you very silently grabbed your backpack and walked towards the door, slowly pushing it open and closing it very slowly.

Eddie would be lying if he said he didn’t spend the rest of his afternoon thinking of you. Not in a dreamy kid with a crush kind of way. He thought about you in general. And how despite most of the people in the school paper being for the most part tacky and conceited, you remained very humble. 

The next day, very much to his displeasure, you two didn’t share any classes that day. He would’ve liked to see you and talk to you, but looking around school or keeping his eyes wide open while walking down the halls was too much effort.

“Hey, Ed. Hawkins High journalist 6 o’clock…” Dustin whispered upon noticing you awkwardly approaching their table.

You had your binder pressed against your chest as you shyly walked closer to them, camera hanging from your shoulder and your backpack from the other one.

Eddie sat up straight and turned around. His gaze turned into a confident smile. Your entire look was adorable, he had to admit. He stood up and gently bowed, offering you the seat next to him.

“Oh, well, well, well…The rebellious princess is blessing us with her presence…” He said as you smiled shyly and sat between him and Dustin.

“What a weird way to say hello” You giggled putting your binder and camera over the table.

“I’m not the school freak for nothing, babe” He smirked. “What do we owe the pleasure?”

“I wanted to thank you for helping me out yesterday,” You said looking at him with a genuine smile and sparkly eyes. “I managed to get to the game on time, took a few pics, didn’t get murdered by Nancy…And all thanks to you…” You said as the rest of the Hellfire Club exchanged stares, slightly confused. "I am indebted to you, and I’ll gladly buy you lunch someday, or a drink or whatever…”

“I’m glad I could help…” He smirked. “I’ll take your word on lunch someday, sweetheart”

 It seemed like since that day, Eddie and you became friends. And over the course of the week you went from waving and smiling at each other when you walked across each other in the halls, to stopping at the sight of the other to exchange a few words or questions “What class you’ve got next?” “Hey, can I borrow your calculator?” “Mr Owens is in a mood today, make sure to not say anything stupid nor too sarcastic”. People started giving you weird looks when they noticed you and Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson started interacting more and more. Especially when you went from knowing the other exists to actually talking outside the school, in the parking lot, by your locker. And all over the course of a week and a half. 

Two weeks after your detention incident, you finally took Eddie out for lunch to thank him for what he did. You two went to a Chinese restaurant  by the mall one Thursday afternoon after school, you would’ve gone on a Friday, but Eddie had told you Fridays were Hellfire days. And not wanting to disrespect your newfound golden friendship, you decided to go on Thursday instead. 

“I hate this,” You giggled as you kept trying to hold some of your rice with your chopsticks and it kept falling and falling. 

“This was your idea, baby” He giggled as he  effortlessly grabbed some rice from your bowl and pulled his chopsticks up to your mouth. 

“You’re so good at this, it’s unfair” You giggled as you took the bite he offered you and blushed at the realisation that he had fed you. “How do you do it?” You murmured with your cheeks stuffed with rice.

“I’ve got a few hidden talents. Between playing guitar and painting miniatures, you learn how to carefully handle things…” He said as he then grabbed a piece of chicken and ate it. 

“You’re so incredibly artistic, Ed…Have you noticed that?” You sighed.

“I mean, I do want to become a musician…”

“No, not just that…” You said. “You paint your miniatures, and actually do a very good job at it, you play the guitar, you’ve said you write lyrics too, right? And you  not only design maps but plan these adventures for Hellfire. You’re insanely creative, Eddie!” You gasped.

The enthusiasm in your voice made his cheeks heat up and his heart skip a beat. Not really used to being flattered like that. Or in any way that wasn’t playing his guitar or while playing his role as Dungeon Master. And here you were recalling all the things he took for granted and as a part of his daily routine and made him realise how indeed, all those things required more creativity and talent than the average person had. 

“So me being a nerd is artistic?” He chuckled.

“Not all nerds are. But the very specific kind of nerd you are, yeah…” 

“Thanks, I guess…” He smiled, feeling the heat clinging to his cheeks. 

“I mean it. All these little things you do, they’re amazing, I swear. Too bad not everyone gets to realise this…” You sighed, “Artists are always under appreciated”

Eddie looked at you with a new found intrigue. His heart suddenly beating loudly in his chest as your big wide eyes met his and you smiled. He felt his heart being pierced with an arrow. The kind looks you gave him, your gentle and overall soft demeanour, and your clear appreciation of who he was…Rarely people gave him a chance, and those who did were soon surprised with how Eddie wasn’t the mean and scary person everyone took him for. But there was something different about the way you treated him, like you’d never really cared about the things people had to say about him, like he wasn’t a freak, like you were genuinely curious of who he was as a person and you weren’t enduring an interaction with him like it happened when someone bought drugs off of him. 

You spent the rest of the afternoon together just talking and getting to know each other better. At least until 9 o’clock when he drove you home. A little bit too early for his taste, but you had insisted.

“My dad and his stupid 9 pm curfew, I’m sorry…” You sighed. 

“I mean, we can at least still talk and hang out, right?” He asked. 

“Yeah, of course…Let me just go inside and tell my parents I’m back and that we’re going to be out here…” You said as you hopped down his van. 

He watched you leave as he got down himself and grabbed a cigarette, lighting it and taking a drag. His thoughts circled around everything that had happened. Especially the way you smiled at him and told him you thought he was incredibly artistic. Even the memory tickled his belly and made his heart squeeze as he thought he was done for. He watched you go out and walk to the edge of the sidewalk and sit down, patting the free space next to you, inviting him to sit with you. He chuckled and walked towards you, noticing the curtains from the large window next to the door move and someone peeking out. Eddie instinctively waved, and whoever it was waved back, as you turned around to see. 

“Oh, that’s my dad…” You replied and looked back at Eddie. 

And just like that, the curtains fell once more behind the glass. 

From then on, the friendship bloomed. Eddie was not only easy to talk to, but something about his unhinged and spontaneous personality drew you in like a moth to light. Once Eddie managed to get over your shy facade, he was pleased to learn that your hidden playfulness matched his perfectly. Only perpetuating the feelings Eddie was growing over you. 

Even, in an attempt to spend more and more time with you, he agreed to study with you and even hang out in the afternoons and do homework together, helping each other out if needed. This was such a new thing for Eddie, he even found himself enjoying these little study dates. Sure, he still disliked sitting down and studying, but your company sure made it bearable. That and the focused look in your eyes when you concentrated, or how passionate you got when you were explaining something to him took his breath away. 

As the finals were drawing closer and closer you spent more and more time together, studying and catching up on homework. And one particular day, you were in his trailer, specifically in the living room sitting on the floor with your books and notes lying all around as you were explaining something to him about biology. Eddie entranced with your voice and hands moving around, he even had a small smile on his face. 

The door swung open slowly as Eddie’s uncle walked inside and found the both of you there. The scene was instantly surprising as it was clear that you two were studying. Eddie was studying. 

“Oh, you’re early…” Eddie sighed as he looked at his uncle and stood up, stretching lightly before offering you a hand and helping you up. “Hun, this is my uncle, the one and only Wayne Munson” He said and then turned at Wayne and called your name no loud and clear. “My dearest friend, companion I’d say partner in crime, but she’s too sweet for that…” 

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Munson…” You said gazing at him.

“Oh dear, drop the formality. You can call me Wayne, it’s alright” He chuckled awkwardly. “You’re studying, now that’s new…” Wayne joked. 

“Oh yeah, she’s Ms Good Influence in my life now…She convinced me to study…” Eddie teased as you giggled and watched him attentively. 

Something in Eddie’s demeanour changed when Wayne arrived. Not new walls building, but quite the opposite. Not like you, you would’ve gotten slightly tense if your mother had arrived home to find the both of you studying. Eddie bickered with his uncle back and forth for a while, teasing and joking between them as you noticed a look in his dark eyes. Eddie’s dark eyes sparkling with something too beautiful and too peaceful. You wondered how close those two were. Sure, Eddie rarely talked about his parents, talked a few things about his uncle, and something you knew to be true was that the old man worked for most of the day, and every so often he had night shifts. But from the way Eddie was looking at him, you could tell Eddie appreciated him far more than he concealed with words.  Your heart melted and wished someone looked at you the way he looked at his uncle, with so much unconditional love. You even wished Eddie looked at you that same way.

“We bought pizza for lunch earlier. There’s still some left in the fridge if you want…” Eddie said as he returned to the living room where you were, looking at him with melting eyes. “What?”

“Nothing,” You purred.

The sweet tone of your voice and the cute smile you gave him made his heart skip a beat and wonder what did he do to get such a reaction from you? He’d do it again.

“Thanks, kiddo” Wayne said opening the fridge. 

“Sure, no problem,” Eddie replied looking back at Wayne as he sat next to you on the couch. 

“Wanna take a break from studying?” You yawned. 

“Oh finally! Yes!” Eddie giggled as you felt his smile warming up your cheeks. 

With every passing day. The friendship seemed to grow stronger and stronger. The two of you becoming two peas of a pod, getting used to each other’s antiques, likes and dislikes. Adapting into a comfortable routine where you spent a considerable amount of time outside of school together. Eventually, you got over your slight fear of rejection, and asked him if you could take pictures of him. His flamboyant and dramatic demeanour allowed you to take great pictures of him.

And since, Eddie became your favourite subject to follow around and photograph. You had gathered a small collection of pictures that looked staged, but in reality, those were Eddie being Eddie. You got a chance to take a picture of Eddie walking over one of the cafeteria tables, staring at everyone from above, like a cat gazing over what was his territory. Eddie playing his guitar at the back of his van with a joint between his lips, Eddie dramatically sitting on the armrest of his famous throne in the classroom they used for Hellfire campaigns, even his DM screen and set up looked fascinating in their own way. 

But your favourite picture was one in which he was doing nothing but relaxing on one of the stone benches outside the school. The both of you were skipping your 7th period of the day on a Friday that was far too close to the summer and graduation. It was hard to concentrate in class by this point, even the teachers were starting to savour the end of the school year. So, skipping a class or two wouldn’t hurt anyone, nor the teachers would care. He was lying on the stone bench. The tree above you keeping the both of you fresh, despite the unbearable heat. His chest rising and falling slowly as you sometimes thought he had fallen asleep, at least until you noticed his foot moving to the rhythm of whatever he was listening to on his Walkman with the headphones on his head. His messy hair spread and falling down the stone bench. His black Dio shirt matching the slightly faded ink in his sun kissed skin. 

You saw the entire scene and quickly pulled your camera, taking a picture. And it wasn’t until you heard the click of your camera that the penny dropped. The sudden rush in your heartbeat when you saw Eddie so relaxed on that bench wasn’t just because you had found a beautiful scene to capture in your camera. You found him beautiful and attractive on his own. But you realised how your crush  on him wasn’t just a crush. A blush spread through your cheeks as you looked up from your camera and stared at Eddie once more, taking in the little details in his face, his neck, his chest, his hands gently resting over his stomach. 

"You good?” His sleepy voice snapped you out of your thoughts. 

“Ah ye-yeah…” You stuttered as you met his eyes briefly and looked away feeling all too flustered. “I took a picture, that’s all…”

“Really?”

“You looked too relaxed…And not threatening nor intimidating at all” you joked as you gazed back at him and watched him crack a smile. 

“Oh no,” He joked. “You better keep that to yourself, people can’t be seeing me being vulnerable” He smirked.

You stared at him with a gentle smile spreading on your face, looking at him with a new found adoration. Something about his comment made your chest warm up. Perhaps that he trusted you enough to admit that he had let his guard down with you around. Or that you kept the picture… most of the pictures you took of him, you’d let him keep them. Just kept a few for your own portfolio for college. 

“Eddie…” You whispered as he looked at you and took off his headphones. 

“Tell me, sweetheart”

“What are you doing after graduation?” You murmured, already knowing he wanted to do something with his music, but never really went into an actual explanation of whatever he planned. If he even was in the first place.

“Finally someone has faith in me!” He said dramatically, referring to his slim chances of passing Ms. O’Donnell’s final. “I don’t know, sweetheart. Perhaps play my guitar somewhere…why?” 

You felt a rather painful squeeze in your chest as you didn’t know how to break the news to him.

“I…got the acceptance letter back from the college…in Indianapolis…” You said without saying anything else, letting him fill in the blanks. 

His eyes widened in surprise as he sat up and fell to the grass in front of you. 

“Oh hey, that’s great, darling!” He said excitedly as he cupped your face in his hands and brought you closer, hugging you. “I told you your little nerdy brain could get anywhere you wanted!” 

“Yeah…Thing is…I,” You stuttered breaking the hug “Well, I also got another one back…From a college I applied to in New York…” 

His smile faded slightly, as he looked at you. Puzzled at first, not believing for a second what he had heard as he thought of the chances of you leaving Indiana to go to a place like New York. Far away from Hawkins. Far away from him.

“New York? That’s far away!” He chuckled awkwardly.

“It is! But my brother is currently there, in law school…So, I told him if I could move in with him in his apartment and he said yes…” You explained, not sure exactly what you were trying to accomplish.

“That is amazing, love…” He whispered looking at you tenderly “I mean, it’s a bit sad that you’re going to leave me but, I’m proud of you, babe…" He said smiling at you, although he felt a sting in his chest. "Come visit from time to time…I’m sure going to miss you as hell…" His voice faded.

You stared into his eyes and smiled. Such a beautiful smile, Eddie thought. A smile he wanted to forever carve in his memory. Against his conscious mind, his arm reached out for you again and brought you close for another hug as you wrapped your arms around him at once and melted against his embrace, taking in the familiar smell of Eddie’s cologne and cigarette smoke.

—

As the summer drew closer, you spent more and more time together. Studying for finals and especially helping Eddie with the classes he struggled with the most. Sometimes at his place. Sometimes at yours. Sometimes it was the school library. And even the back of his van. This was when people started talking the most about the odd closeness the two of you shared. 

Being in the school paper meant you were in a lot of social events, interacted with a lot of people, and being the photographer, people had to be nice to you. You held so much power without realising it, since you could decide which photos to use, and how many times were you willing to take people’s pictures. So everyone in school, if they wanted to look good in the paper, they had to kiss your ass. However, the genuine desire to be nice to you or to ask you to sit with the popular groups wasn’t exactly there. You knew this, but didn’t really give a shit. 

And now the photographer was hanging out with the freak. Not only hanging out. Rumours spread like wildfire after one time someone saw you two at the back of his van, the van parked on a popular viewpoint where normally couples went. However, the both of you were mostly studying with the door wide open. Eddie needed to constantly change locations or else he’d grow bored and restless and studying became impossible. And this viewpoint was your latest idea as you studied. 

But people didn’t know that. 

People simply saw you at the famous viewpoint. The two of you spent several hours there doing god knows what. And the next thing everyone knows is, you’re hugging Eddie, in the middle of the hall as he is spinning on his toes. A truly adorable scene…if it wasn’t the freaks. Or at least many people thought. 

But you didn’t care. You were more focused on celebrating Eddie’s B+ in Mrs. O’Donell’s final. The one class Eddie needed  to pass. And the exam you studied for the most, even to the point of Eddie begging you to study something else. But all the studying had gotten Eddie far more than the D he needed. He had gotten a B+ and he was as ecstatic as you were. Thanking you over and over as he hugged you, spinning on his toes as you clung to him celebrating as well. 

“Eddie! Oh my god! That’s insane! I’m so proud of you!” You giggled as you buried your face in his neck as he spun you around celebrating. 

As he set you down and broke the hug, he dramatically bowed to you. 

“I will forever be in your debt, oh your glorious highnesses” He said, making you giggle. 

“Just buy me lunch sometime and we’ll be even” You giggled.

That night, as he drove you back home at the usual ridiculously early curfew your father set, he parked in front of your house. You’d gone to the arcade and spent the afternoon trying to beat as many high scores as possible, competing between the both of you. And on the ride back home, you found one of the many D20 bouncing around in the cup holder of his van, and grabbed it and played with it in your palm for the entirety of the ride. As you say your goodbyes and as you were about to go inside your house, you stopped on your tracks and hopped back to his van. 

“What’s up?” He asked once you opened the door and you returned the D20 to the cup holder. 

“I was about to kidnap this little guy” You said, making Eddie chuckle as he grabbed it and handed it back to you. 

“No, keep it” He said, smiling softly at you. “Think of this as a piece of me…” 

“Ed–“

“This used to be any other D20, like the other eight I have lying around somewhere in this same van…” He chuckled. “Now it’s yours. Keep it safe for me, yeah?” The smile he gave you was to die for as you rolled your eyes playfully. 

“So dramatic…” You chuckled, as he smirked. 

“A token of my trust, my gratitude, even a piece of my heart of you will,” He joked, playing along and moving his hands in a dramatic gesture. 

“Alright then, Eddie The Freak Munson…” You chuckled. “Good night,” You purred as you leaned forward and kissed his cheek before sprinting out of his van and running towards your house. 

If you had stayed for two more seconds, Eddie would’ve seized his chance and would’ve kissed you right there and then. Although the flip his heart made and excitement rushed through his body, soon he felt the gloom washing over him, reminding him that you had your days in Hawkins jumbered. And with every passing day, you were closer and closer to leaving to New York, making him feel slightly bitter, and even sorry that he didn’t get to meet you before. You had spent almost four years there, and him six, and he had to meet you after you returned from Spring Break. 

Just like every end of term, there was a party where pretty much everyone was invited and everyone attended. Even him, although he went more as a business trip, selling joints and weed to people at the party, and also because you’d told him you were going to be there. However, you were nowhere to be seen yet, and he came across Chrissy Cunningham. The sweet little cheerleader he had the pleasure of making a drug deal shortly before Spring Break. And most likely, the girl to steal his heart if you hadn’t come around exactly two weeks after his drug deal with Chrissy. He had felt that romantic curiosity and attraction towards her when they first talked in the woods, but that was before you came along. However, some sort of residual feelings were still there. 

After you returned from taking a couple of photos of the basketball team, you returned inside the house. Hearing from the team they were trying to cheer Jason up, you wondered what had happened, but not enough to ask. Truth was, you didn’t really care about what  happened with Jason. Since that time he tried to get his way with you and you punched him in the face—which got you into the detention in which you properly met Eddie—, and you thought perhaps Chrissy had opened up her eyes and realised Jason wasn’t the best guy for her. 

But boy, you weren’t actually expecting Chrissy to realise not just that, but seeing her talking to Eddie made something in your heart twist and turn painfully, And the worst part it wasn’t that you were the only one seeing it. People were also talking about how close Eddie was talking to Chrissy. His silhouette towering right next to her, leaning closer to her, talking into her ear. People around you were saying how Chrissy only needed a few hours to get over her breakup with Jason to move on to none other than Eddie, The Freak. Her wide eyes looking at him curiously, as Eddie’s charming smile shone down on her. 

You felt dizzy. You felt nauseous. If it wasn’t for the fact that you hadn’t had a single drop of alcohol yet, you’d perhaps believe you were drunk. Light headed, and suddenly the earth spinning faster than ever, you would’ve believed you were drunk. You hung your camera around your neck and spun on your toes and went to the kitchen to get a drink. 

“So much for a piece of your heart…” You whispered bitterly, as you felt the weight of the D20 in your pocket suddenly weighing fifty times more than it should. 

As you grabbed a can of beer and opened it, you wasted no time and drank half of it in one go, hoping that the bitter and gross taste of beer washed away the bad taste seeing Eddie flirting with Chrissy left in your mouth. 

“Whoa, someone’s here to get wasted!” You recognized Bradley’s voice as you put down the can. 

You stared at him and waved hello. Tall, tanned, charming smile and cheeky eyes looked down at you as you wondered how much could a person change with just an outfit. 

“You look so different without your football uniform…” You said, smiling at him. 

“I look good, though, right?” He smirked as you rolled your eyes sarcastically. 

“You always look good, Brad. Or so all the girls at school say…” You replied, not really meaning anything of what you had said. Sure, Bradley was attractive, but he wasn’t your type by any means.

The rest of your beer soon disappeared. And so did the next two, three cans of beer. And the night became blurry with colours that looked all too saturated. Music seemed to barely last, as you weren’t sure anymore of what was happening. All you knew was that you were trying to forget about the image of Chrissy and Eddie, which was going great at first. Until you caught a glimpse of them making out by a corner of the house. The nausea clung to your throat and your eyes blurred with tears as another two cans of beer made it past your lips as if they were water. As you were actually growing fond of the taste of it, your head didn’t. You danced, you blended in with the popular crowd for the first time in all of your high school years, you swore you kissed lips that tasted like cigarettes and weed, and in a poor taste joke, your mind envisioned Eddie, but only made the ache in your heart worse as you pulled away, only to find Brad holding you by the waist. 

You had gotten drunk before, a few times, but never like this. God, your parents were going to kill you. You were lost. Drowned in alcohol, and yet, the fear of your consequences sobered you enough to make you leave the dance floor and Bradley, telling him you needed some fresh air. Walking out of the house, you dragged your feet, fighting to keep your balance until you made it to the small park across the street and grabbed one of the swing seats and sat down, looking at the ground, feeling your stomach threatening you to barf all the excess beer filling your empty stomach. 

“Shit…” You groaned, as you closed your eyes, resigned that sooner or later it was going to happen. 

As Eddie walked out of the house with a victorious smile and a giggly Chrissy with her arm around his waist and his around her shoulders, they headed to his van. Slightly disappointed that he never got to see you, but at the same time grateful. Things with Chrissy wouldn’t have happened the way they did if you were there. If you’d been there, his attention would’ve been solely on you. 

However, his euphoric little state didn’t last long as he recognized you at the distance, when he opened the copilot seat for Chrissy to get inside. His stomach turned stone cold.

“Shit,” He purred. 

“What’s wrong?” Chrissy asked curiously as she followed his eyes across the street and looked at the park. 

“Give me a minute. Stay in the car, I’ll be back in a bit, yeah?” He purred softly, as he thought about kissing her forehead, but he didn’t. 

He didn’t and he knew why. Eddie watched Chrissy get in the van and he closed the door before jogging across the street and into the park as he walked up to you, calling your name as you flinched and looked up. 

“Oh, shit. Hi…“ You groaned and looked back down. “Hello…”

“You came…” Eddie said confused.

“Yeah. I told you I would…” You sighed as he sat on the swing seat next to yours and rubbed your back. “Ed, I’m so drunk, this is ridiculous…”

“Yeah, I was going to say you stink like the guys who usually watch us play on Tuesdays…” Eddie purred. 

“Ha! That’s a good one…” You purred.

“What happened?” He asked.

“I’m stupid, that’s what happened…” Eddie frowned at the way your voice bitterly spat your reply. 

“Hey, come on, don’t talk like that…” He whispered. “Let’s take you home,”

“N-no…I ca-can’t get home like this…Eddie, please…”

“What do you suggest I do?”

“Oh god, I don’t know…” You sighed deeply. You slid off the swing seat and fell to the grass. “How much of a bad idea is it to stay here?”

“Awful. C’mon…” Eddie said standing up and offering you a helping hand as he took a deep breath. 

“Where are we going?” You muttered as you grabbed his hand and he pulled you up and you clung to him, feeling like the earth was spinning a thousand miles a second. “Oh god…” You muttered. “Sorry…” 

“No, it’s okay…” He whispered. “I’m taking you to my place…” 

Eddie’s plans of taking Chrissy to his place changed as soon as he saw you completely wasted, saying you couldn’t go back home. And he didn’t even feel conflicted about making such a decision. Seeing you like that made his heart break as he knew something had happened for you to end up like that. And in a heartbeat, he made the decision to watch over you rather than getting lucky with Chrissy. As he guided you to his van, he slid open the backseat’s door and guided you inside. 

“Dude, the back seat…?” You asked confused as you looked over and saw Chrissy on the co pilot's seat as she waved shyly at you. “Oh, hi, Chrissy..,” You hiccuped. “What a-are…Oh–, shit, I’m sorry…” you mumbled as your drunken brain managed to put two and two together. “Ah fuck, I’m so sorry. You look very pretty though…Hi Chrissy…” 

As Eddie slid into the driver’s seat, he felt his chest tight at the way you dragged your tongue with every word. Reminding him of how he was making out with another girl who wasn’t the girl he so desperately wanted to kiss. And having both of them there made him tense. 

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t leave her there…” Eddie muttered slightly embarrassed. “Mind if I drive you home? I need to sober her up before dropping her home…” Eddie lied.

“Oh, don’t worry..,you two are best friends, right?” Chrissy asked.

“God, the best! Eddie is…” you sighed as you lied down. “The absolute best guy you can find…”

Your words only made Eddie’s chest tighter and tighter. Chrissy giggled. 

“Really?” 

“Oh really!” You said sitting up and leaning closer to the front seats. “He’s so fun and chill to hang around…Hella smart even though he says he isn’t…”

“Jesus, you sure are drunk…” Eddie chuckled uncomfortably. 

“No, no…I mean, yeah, I’m drunk. But I mean those things! I mean, I’m drunk, I can’t lie if you ask me anything right now…”

“Honey, you are such a terrible liar, even when sober” Eddie said as you chuckled. 

“Hmm, that’s true…” You whispered and laid back down. “I’m sorry for ruining your night guys…” You whispered, your cheerful voice soon dissipating and lowering. 

“Don’t worry, I actually think it’s very nice that you’re going to watch over her…” Chrissy said. 

“I tell you! Eddie has a heart of gold…” You sighed. 

Eddie looked over at the mirror, looking at you on the passenger's seat. He also felt Chrissy’s sweet stare on him as he felt ashamed to look over at her. 

"I love you, Eds,” You yawned, stretching your hand towards him and gently patted his head, as Chrissy giggled at the cute gesture. Eddie’s throat closed as he clenched his jaw. 

“Me too, dude” He said, biting the tip of his tongue as he didn’t know why he dropped that pet name out of all the things he used to call you. 

Was it because Chrissy was there? He didn’t want to blow off his narrowing chances with Chrissy. And at the same time, he felt like an asshole for doing that to you. Especially in such a vulnerable state, after you just said nice things about him. 

As Chrissy guided him to her place, he parked outside her house and rushed out of the van to open her door for her and walked her to the door. Chrissy stopped and pulled her keys out before swinging on her toes and looked at Eddie with a smile as she stood on her top toes and pecked him. 

“I know this didn’t end like you wanted, but I think it’s very sweet that you take care of her…As you should…” She gave him such a genuine and radiant smile it made Eddie feel guilty. “Someone else would’ve let their friend there if they were on their way to take someone else to their place…” She said, making it clear that she knew where Eddie was going to take her and why. 

“Yeah, well…she’s important to me…” Eddie sighed, his own oversimplification of your friendship hurting him. 

“I can tell. I’m even slightly jealous…I wish I had someone who looked out for me the way you do with her…” Chrissy said, only adding to the piling guilt in his gut. “Anyways, see you on Monday?” 

“Yeah…” He purred. 

“Goodnight, Eddie…” She purred as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and brought him close to her for a slow kiss. 

He groaned softly in surprise as he kissed her back. Her lips suddenly tasted bitter as he placed his hands in her waist. A part of his brain too painfully aware that you were passed out in his van, and another part of his brain imagining he was kissing you instead. 

“Goodnight…” He purred softly as he broke the kiss, his heart beating in his throat making him nauseous.

If you were being honest, the last memory you had from that night was when you first sat down in that swing seat. Everything else that happened afterwards was one big black out. You remembered everything before that point. 

And you spent the entirety of the Sunday in Eddie’s trailer. He watched over you, helped you with your hangover and told you a little bit of what happened after he found you in the swing seat. You called your parents and told them you crashed over at a friends place because your friend was the one passed out drunk and you were going to take care of them. That was Eddie’s idea to keep you off trouble. 

That was such a weird day. 

You told him you saw him and Chrissy kissing. He said he was originally selling her a few joints and one thing left to the other. You didn’t tell him why you had gotten so drunk, you simply said you had hardly eaten that day and that was it. You told him you made out with someone but couldn’t remember who was it, Eddie told you it had been Bradley Walsh. And other than that, you didn’t talk much. 

After a very needed shower, you spent the rest of the day in his bed. The both of you cuddled, napping, your legs tangled or your hands entwined the entire time. The both of you felt oddly hurting, and staying cuddled next to each other was both comforting and torturous. 

Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about how he kissed Chrissy in an attempt to use her as a rebound. He felt grossed out by himself. Only to realize that when put together, he’d choose you a million times. You in the other hand felt insanely guilty. You had made out with Brad because you were being petty and couldn’t stand the sight of Chrissy and Eddie kissing. 

The desire to hold on to each other and kiss each other was growing as the afternoon progressed, making the tension between you two more and more uncomfortable. But neither of you knew, or at least refused to believe, that your feelings for each other weren’t as one sided as you both believed them to be. And at the same time, the fear of actually losing the wonderful friendship you’d found a few months ago would go to waste with a single kiss. And if it didn’t, your departure to New York would definitely break both of your hearts. Either way, not addressing the situation seemed like a far better idea at the moment.

After he drove you home, you only felt your heart breaking further and further. The comfort of being in Eddie’s bed, between his arms, his slow breathing next to yours and his chest next to yours was drifting away with every mile you drove further from the trailer park. And when he walked you to the door, he kissed your forehead.

“Goodnight, love” He purred before he walked back to his van. 

Despite your Sunday with Eddie, you still felt uncomfortable every time you saw Chrissy. Specially when she looked at you, waved, asked how you were doing and if you’d seen Eddie. The fact that she was looking for Eddie made your stomach twist and your appetite got lost completely. 

“He’s perhaps at the usual table of the Hellfire Club?” You wondered. 

And with that, she was gone. You went in about your day and spent some time in the newspaper classroom printing your last photos to get them ready for the last issue of the school year. A few pictures of Eddie were there, only making the uncomfortable hole in your chest ache more. Once you were done, you went to the cafeteria and walked towards your friends in Hellfire, noticing Eddie wasn’t there. 

“Where’s Ed?” You asked in a soft whisper, not sure you wanted to hear the answer. 

"I saw him walking to his usual dealing spot with Cunningham…” Garett said. 

You clenched your jaw and nodded. 

“I see. Well, thanks guys, see you around..,” You sighed and walked away.

Dustin and Mike exchanged concerned stares. Noticing the way your slouched shoulders hid your head. The distant stare, and over all cold behaviour. You were normally so laid back and talkative. This time you simply made a question and with that you were gone. Along with the rumours, everyone was exchanging in the halls about what had happened in Aaron’s party. 

Thinking you and Eddie were more than meant to be, Dustin and Mike did feel worried regarding those rumours. You two were always together, we’re constantly flirty with each other, and suddenly, he was making out with Chrissy and seeing leaving the party with her. And you were seen making out with Brad. What exactly had happened in that party, they didn't know. Eddie too was acting odd that day. Quieter than usual, and he was seen quite a lot with Chrissy. 

After having finished their lunch, they decided to explore the school grounds searching for you. And when they finally did, you were sitting underneath a tree, resting against it, with your eyes closed and a very tired look on your face.

“Excited that you’re finally graduating this Friday?” Dustin asked with a feigned chuckle as you opened your eyes and looked at him. 

“Yeah, I guess…” You muttered smiling at them. 

“I thought you’d be looking a bit happier…” Dustin added. 

“Mind if we sit with you for a bit?” Mike asked, you shrugged and patted the grass next to you. 

“Be my guest, guys…My grass is your grass…” You said with a smile, not reaching your eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Mike asked sitting next to you, bumping his boney shoulder next to yours, you sighed and rested your head against it, closing your eyes, fighting the urge to cry. 

“Life’s scary, Mike…” You sighed. “College is scary, adult life is scary too…” Your voice died out. 

“Are you seriously okay?” Dustin asked sitting in front of you. 

You chuckled bitterly and opened your eyes, revealing your tearful stare to him. 

“No, not really…” 

“What’s the matter?” Dustin asked. 

“You know you can trust us, right? I mean, we’re not the closest of friends but…We do consider you our friend. Everyone at Hellfire…” Mike said looking at you as you lifted your head from his shoulder and cleaned the tears slipping down your face. 

“Thank you. Mike…” You whispered. 

“Did you and Eddie have a fight or something?” Dustin inquired. 

“Why would you assume this has anything to do with Eddie?” You said With a bitter chuckle as your eyes continued to tear up exposing the truth of Dustin’s assumptions.

“You…like him…don’t you?” Dustin guessed.

“What?” You barked.

 “Ah I-I mean…sometimes we had the impression that you…liked him? You know? But I–we know you two are best friends…” Mike quickly intervened. 

Sighing deeply, you let your head fall back against the tree. Your eyes shut closed, as you felt them get even more tearful and several tears even fell down your closed eyes. Mike and Dustin exchanged worried stares, not sure how to help or what to say even. 

“So is it that obvious?” You purred.

“So you…really like him? Like…like him?” Mike asked. 

“Yes, Mike. I like him. A fucking lot, actually…” You hissed, refusing to open your eyes. 

“So…I guess you heard…” Dustin muttered. 

“What exactly?” You whispered, swallowing the knot in your throat. 

“I-I…I bet it’s just some stupid rumor…” Dustin stuttered. “I-I bet it’s…not even real…”

“Cut the chase, Dust…Please”

“Eddie and Chrissy kissed…But…Eddie told us she was trying to get her mind off Jason…they broke up earlier that day…And he said he had seen you with Bradley and…”

“Dustin, if Eddie told you himself then it’s not a rumour…” You snapped, finally opening your eyes and meeting his worried stare. “He kissed Chrissy, big deal. I kissed Brad…We’re both mature enough to deal with it, Dust…”

“Well…it doesn’t seem like it…” He whispered.

“Look, we’re worried because both Eddie and you have been acting weird the entire day. And not just that…When Eddie told us about Brad, he seemed pretty pissed about Brad kissing you…” Mike called your name. “You do realise that Eddie has feelings for you too, right? Of course he’s going to be pi—“

“What did you say?” You cut him off.

“That Eddie has feelings for you?”

“Oh my god, the both of you really are very blind or incredibly stupid,” You frowned at Dustin’s remark. “Eddie has feelings for you. He got mad at Brad for kissing you. It made him jealous which was why he kissed Chrissy!” 

“Did he tell you that?” You asked.

“No, but it’s not hard to deduce, Jesus. Seeing the both of you pinning for each other is actually very painful…” Dustin scoffed. 

The rest of your day at school, Dustin’s words kept circling your mind, dragging you deeper and deeper into the same thought spiral. Although there was something that didn’t add up. You had seen Eddie and Chrissy making out before you even kissed Brad. However, if what Dustin had said was true, then the day you spent hangover at Eddie’s place was nothing but bittersweet torture not only for you but for him too. Thinking you could’ve finally confessed your feelings for him and perhaps make things better. Perhaps, if that had happened, you’d be with him instead of Chrissy. 

An arm around your shoulders snapped you out of your thoughts abruptly as you flinched and looked over your shoulder to find Bradly next to you. 

“Got any plans for today?” Brad asked cheerfully as you glanced over at him “I’ve got to admit, I didn’t expect the little photographer to be such a good kisser…” He purred leaning closer to you.

“Jesus, Brad. Get away from me…I was drunk, I thought you knew how this worked. You make out with someone at a party, you move on” You said gently pushing him away from you.

 “Not every day I get hard from just a kiss” He purred against your ear, making you shiver and glared at him. 

“Gross dude…” You groaned and pushed him away from you once again “Not interested…Sorry”

“Oh seriously, are you still head over heels for that freak! Even after what he did?” He snapped as you stopped dead on your tracks. 

Turning around you glared at him. Not sure as to what he meant exactly.

“He left the party with Chrissy, people saw them making out, and then, they were leaving. Together,” 

You knew Eddie had dropped Chrissy at her place, because you were with them. You had woken up in Eddie’s bedroom, and Eddie had slept in the living room. Sure, Eddie and Chrissy kissed, but nothing else happened between them. At least not that night.

“Fuck off, Brad” You hissed not really caring what he had to say or thing about it as you were ready to leave when he dared to talk again.

 “Seriously, what’s with that guy? Why is suddenly everyone interested in him? He’s poor and a stupid freak who holds satanic cults and thinks he’s better than everyone else—“

“You just resent him because the girl who gave you a boner actually wants him. And apparently now Chrissy Cunningham’s after him too!” You snapped interrupting him as you spun on your toes once more and gave him a cold stare “You’re pathetic, Brad…Like talking shit about my best friend is going to make me suddenly want to sleep with you…Fuck off–“ Brad took two long steps and gripped you by the shoulders, slamming you to the closest lockers as you whined loudly. 

People starting to gather closer as they’d heard the arguing and the yelling, and suddenly the sound of something hitting the lockers caught everyone’s attention even further.

“Listen here you little bitch,” Brad growled, “You’re just as much as a piece of shit as that motherfu–" 

Before you could even register what had happened, Brad fell to the ground. And you understood that the quick flash of silver you’d seen was Eddie’s fist flying towards Brad’s jaw. His left hand, the one covered with the most and biggest rings. Despite Eddie being right handed, of course he was going to throw a punch with his left hand.

“Do not touch her” Eddie threatening with a grim stare, his black eyes looking deadly.

 “Oh, came back to claim what’s yours?” Brad laughed, as Eddie’s eyes darkened and a rather creepy smile spread across his cheeks.

“Fuck off dude. Her not wanting to fuck you it’s not her problem. Most women in this school don’t either” He replied calmly, seeing the way Brad’s smile dissipated. 

“You’re a real piece of shit, you know that?” Brad barked.

“Yeah?” Eddie asked raising an eyebrow, barely caring what Brad had to say about him.

“Kissing another girl when your allegedly best friend is head over heels for you. Enduring that must be painful, doesn’t it?” The jock said, his gaze moving to meet yours.

“Brad, stop” You said in a low voice.

“And not just that," Brad looked back at Eddie “you decided to go after the big fish and kissed none other than Chrissy Fucking Cunningham…Imagine having to compete with someone with her calibre…” Brad said turning to you “that’s rough competition…” 

“I’m sick and tired of your bullshit, Brad.” You snapped, feeling your eyes get teary, as his words had pierced exactly through your insecurities “You’re graduating this week, stop flicking acting like a middle school boy, grow up” You spat sourly and walked out of the circle. 

“I’m not done with you, you little bitch!” Eddie ignored Brad as he followed you, noticing the way you had clenched your jaw and looked down before walking away. “Oh, you are running away too? Fucking cowards, you deserve each other!” Bradley shouted as the two of you walked along the hall with long quick steps.

An uncomfortable buzz in your ears as you bit your lower lip, and took big breaths to keep the tears from spilling. A lump on your throat as you kept circling around what Brad had said, and how true you believed his words to be. Chrissy was perfect. She was cute, nice, laid back, petite, pretty, confident…Many things you could only aspire to be. And considering how high you thought of Eddie, she seemed a lot more deserving of him than you did. And that thought alone crushed your soul.

“Hey, are you alright?” Eddie said managing to get a hold of your arm, as you stopped abruptly and turned around. 

“No, Eddie, I am most definitely not okay” You barked.

“Hey, talk to me–“ 

“Sure, that’s a great idea!” You interrupted him sarcastically, “Okay so, where do I start? I am so deeply in love with my best friend and it’s cliche and stupid. We went to a party, I saw him talk to the most popular and pretty girl in school, but they appeared to be flirting with each other, so I got mad and drunk and made out with the biggest asshole I could find at the party. I did it out of pettiness, but jokes on me because I just embarrassed myself out there because of my funny little revenge…”

Eddie’s eyebrows lifted in concern as his eyes suddenly changed and now looked concerned and confused. 

“People are saying you and Chrissy left together and everyone is assuming the two of you slept together, which I know to be a lie because I was there, I spent the night over at your place and stayed the entire next day getting over my hangover, you watching over me. And correct me if I’m wrong, but we spent the entirety of the afternoon cuddling and holding hands, and I thought perhaps we were going to pretend like the party didn’t happen in the first place! But I get here and everyone is talking about it, Chrissy is looking for you, and people tell me you’re hanging out with her and I can’t help but get jealous, Edward!” 

Now Eddie had an uncomfortable buzz in his ears, and his heart felt heavier. 

“And now Brad is bitter because I don’t want to sleep with him and apparently you’re now popular because Chrissy is interested in you…And I can’t even be mad at you because seriously, Chrissy is such a catch. I’m happy for you…Seriously. You two actually look cute together”

The whole time you’re talking, Eddie could feel his own heart sinking and dropping all the way to the floor. Silent tears escaping your eyes only making him feel guilty. You sounded mad, but he can tell from the look in your eyes you actually felt sad, broken even. And the only one he could point fingers at is at himself. He did this to you. The girl he had been so in love with, not only happened to correspond to his feelings. But he had to find out in the worst way possible. And it was too late to fix it without hurting anyone else in the process. 

And when he watched you turn around and resume your walking, his own heart began to break. 

 “Wait— Sweetheart—“ He began.

��Eddie, stop!” You snapped looking at him. “Leave me alone for a while, okay? I need to think, besides, I have a job interview and I don’t want to show up with my eyes all red and puffy” You said and turned back around, leaving through the door. 

Right, Eddie remembered. You had told him you’d managed to schedule an interview with the photographer at the Hawkins Post and you were going to try and get a job there over the summer to save some money for New York and gather some experience to write down in your curriculum. He had forgotten the interview was today. In a couple of hours specifically. His throat closed even tighter, making it harder for him to breathe. He had told you he was going to take you there himself. Now he guessed he wouldn’t.

As he turned around after you disappeared behind the main door, he found Chrissy. Her big wide eyes looking concerned and worried. 

“I am so, so sorry…” He whispered.

You skipped the last period and left school one hour earlier to be able to cry peacefully on your way back home and get a shower before the interview. Eddie, however, stayed. After the last bell of the day rang, and people were soon escaping the building like it was on fire. Eddie dragged his feet to the Hellfire Club classroom to get some of his things he had there. Being the last week of school, he needed to take everything he wanted to take with him, or else leave it there for the future generations. And he wasn’t sure why he’d gone there in the first place. The things he wanted to keep were usually in his backpack or his van. 

Perhaps he was dreading the walk to his van. He’d normally meet up with you outside his van, and you’d go to grab lunch or something before heading back to his place to waste the afternoon away. But he knew you weren’t going to be there. And suddenly, driving on his own seemed like the last thing he wanted. Sitting in silence with his thoughts…Just no. And even risking seeing Chrissy in the halls. She’d seen everything that happened with Brad. And she was chasing after the both of you when you snapped at Eddie before leaving. He hadn’t talked to Chrissy about it, he simply apologized and left; and even though he knew he needed to, he didn’t feel like doing so right now. His mind was still all over the place.

He kept thinking of Chrissy and you. Sure, before spring break he felt that funny feeling in his gut after he made his drug deal with Chrissy. And he knew she felt it too. What he didn’t expect was meeting you in detention right after the break was over. The same funny feeling in his gut, but this was was different. It was warmer. The instant attraction and chemistry felt like a riptide. He simply met you, and from then on, he was met by some sort of gravitational force pulling him towards you. Becoming close friends in the span of a weeks was something that had never happened to him before. And he doubted it was going to happen to him again.

“Eddie?” Dustin’s voice echoed followed by the creek of the door opening. 

“Henderson, fancy seeing you here, you little dwarf” Eddie said looking at him with a hollow smile.

“How are you?” 

“Nostalgic, really. I’m going to miss Hellfire…” Eddie replied, knowing what Dustin meant but completely avoiding it.

“I mean…I heard what happened…” Dustin muttered as he walked inside the classroom.

“God, people really like to talk about other people’s lives. How boring must their own lives be?” Eddie replied, avoiding the topic. Again.

“I’m sorry for what happened…” Dustin whispered your name, making Eddie’s heart skip a painful beat. “She…I know she means a lot to you…” 

“Dustin, have I not made it clear that I do not wish to talk about this?” He said gently interrupting him as his smile faded and met Dustin’s honey eyes. 

 “Maybe you should, you know? But talk to her...tell her everything, I know you like her as much as she likes you…" Eddie rolled his eyes at Dustin. “And, well, you know her…she’s not exactly the most confident nor popular girl, think how she must feel about this…” Eddie’s heart shrunk 

“So I’m the bad guy now?” Eddie barked defensively.

“What? No! Not at all! This is just a communication problem…you two are best friends, you’ll be able to figure something out…” Dustin quickly added.

“Yeah, well…she’s moving to New York in two months…there’s nothing much I can do…” Eddie scoffed. “We can talk and cry about it, go back to being friends, sure, but then what Henderson? We confess our love for each other and decide to walk into the sunset holding hands and kiss under the moonlight, then what? She moves away and I stay here? You have a girlfriend, Henderson. You know how long distance relationships are hard. And now add that she’s going to go there for college…College and High School are not the same, man” Eddie spat, the tension building in his chest feeling slightly relieved, despite the fact that his eyes were getting tearful. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m someone who needs to be able to hold his girlfriend and kiss her and show her around like a badge of honor—” 

“Then go with her to New York” Dustin interrupted, as Eddie stopped right away and stared at him.

 “What?” 

“You heard me” 

“I can’t just pack up and go to New York…” Eddie chuckled bitterly.

“Why not? You want to make a living out of playing your guitar, don’t you? Don’t you think achieving that in New York might be actually easier than staying in Hawkins?”

Eddie’s mind became blank.

That evening, he climbed the tree next to your house up to your window as he peeked inside and found you sitting in your bed with a bunch of photos spread on your bed. It would’ve been a very cute scene if he hadn’t made you cry earlier and he still felt guilty about it. He tapped gently on the glass breaking you away from your trance as you got out of your bed and went to your window sliding it open.

“What the hell are you doing? You know you can use my door right? My parents love you” You explained.

Eddie’s smile soon dropped into a puzzled face as his eyebrows raised and eyes widened in confusion.

“Wait, really?” 

“Yeah…my dad knows his 9pm curfew is ridiculous, but he actually likes that you respect it and drive me home by 9, even when we stay on the sidewalk hanging out afterwards, even if we stay out there until very late… He appreciates that you do get me home by 9 always…” You chuckled softly as you moved away and let him in.

“Well in that case, next time I decide to visit late at night I will use the door…” He said with a cheeky smile and looked around your room, noticing the little details everywhere, thinking how much your room felt yours.

“Why are you here, Ed?” You whispered awkwardly as Eddie looked at you with tender eyes and a soft smile.

“Just wanted to see my bestie,” He replied with a shrug, managing to make you chuckle lightly and nod.

“Well, here I am” You said walking back to your bed.

“How did the interview go?” He asked as he followed you and gazed at some of the pictures as you picked them up and set them on the side table, making space for him.

“Good, I think. I talked to the photographer and said that he was going to talk to the editor…Kept some of my photos and told me to go on a few trial days next week…” You explained.

“That’s a good sign, right?” Eddie said excitedly as you couldn’t help but smile at him despite the subtle heartache. 

 “Yeah, I think so”

“Congrats” Eddie said pulling you in a genuine and tight hug. 

Wrapping your arms around him, you buried your face in his shoulder. And after a few seconds. you noticed he didn’t back out from the hug. His arms suddenly feeling too warm and soft around you, as his smell pierced through your nose. You could feel something radiating from his body into yours, a warm and comforting sensation that soon made your eyes tearful and heart beat fast. The memories of what had happened in the last days flooded your mind and you sobbed silently, hugging him tighter. 

Eddie felt your shoulders stiffen before you clung to him and he knew immediately what was going on. He kissed your head and burying his face in your hair, taking in the sweet smell of your shampoo. 

“I’m sorry,” He purred. “About earlier…Not my best moment...or the last few days for that matter. The last thing I even wanted to do was hurt you, out of everyone at school, you…” He said breaking the hug and cupping your face in his hands as he wiped away the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re the most precious thing that school has, you know?” He whispered as you rolled your eyes playfully, and he chuckled. “I mean it! Sure, Chrissy may be the queen of Hawkins High, and Jason may be the town’s celebrity, but next to you, they seem so small…” He purred. 

“Oh please,” You said as your hands reached his wrists. 

“No, seriously, sweetheart” He whispered smiling and leaning closer to you, bumping his forehead to yours. “You’ve got a heart of gold,” He said, repeating what you had said in your drunken state, words he was positive you didn’t remember. “Until today I never saw you snap at anyone before, you’re always so kind and nice…second, you’re so smart it made me smart…” You giggled looking away as he followed you with his stare “I mean it! You’re the first person who actually succeeded at tutoring me, enough to get a much higher grade than I needed. And out of everyone from the senior year, you got the coolest college opportunity...Seriously…New York? Everyone else is either going to Indianapolis or staying here in Hawkins…You? You’re going to the Big Apple!” 

“Stop!” You giggled, getting flustered. 

“And last but not least, I take pride in being a freak, really, I do. And most of the things I do, I do them to piss people off…But never have I ever felt so contempt of who I am until I realized you genuinely enjoyed who I am…You make me want to become better…That is something completely new to me…" his voice died out calling your name. “You said earlier you were deeply in love with your best friend...Which is perfect for me because I am too, deeply in love with my best friend…So much it hurt and felt hopeless when you told me you were moving to New York, so much I tried to look for something, anything that could help me get over my feelings for you so it wouldn’t hurt as much when you left…” He said, his dark eyes glued to yours as he leaned forward again, his forehead bumping against yours and the tip of his nose brushing yours. “But I ended up hurting you…And trust me, that was the last thing I wanted to do…”

“Ed…” You whispered with your heart climbing all the way to your throat and you closed your eyes. 

Without giving it much of a thought, you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his. His breath hitched, not actually expecting you to be the one who sealed the kiss. He was still contempt and surprised. He kissed you back. His lips locking with yours in what was a shy kiss at first. Your lips infinitely sweeter and softer than Chrissy’s, perfectly molding with his as you quickly stole his breath away. 

He moaned gently against your mouth, making your heart race even further. Your hands grabbed his flannel shirt, slowly climbing up his chest until one of your hands made it to the back of his head, tangling with his messy curly hair as you pulled his closer. 

He took this as his cue to deepen the kiss, a soft groan escaping his throat. Moving closer to him, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, squeezing your chest against him. At once his arms mirrored yours and snaked around you, squeezing you against him, stealing a moan off of you into his mouth, making his blood warm up. His hands slid down your back as you broke the kiss and pulled your legs on top of the bed, breathlessly staring at Eddie. Your heart beating in your throat, as you cupped his face and brought him close for another kiss before he could even say something. 

Kissing you back, he smirked against your lips and moved closer to you. You slowly layer on the bed, pulling him on top of you. Wasting no time, he tried kicking off his boots but struggled. 

“Wait, baby…” He purred sitting on the bed and rushing to take off his boots as you chuckled and sat up, looking at him tenderly.  

After he did, he looked at you and smiled. You noticed the rosy tone in his cheeks, making your heart about to jump out of your chest. 

“Hey…” You purred softly. 

“Hey,” He giggled and climbed back on top of you as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed him. 

He quickly melted into the kiss, leaning down and resting some of his weight on top of you as you welcomed him and wrapped your legs around his narrow waist. Pulling him closer, you moaned shyly upon feeing his hips against yours. 

Your moan echoed in Eddie’s head as he broke the kiss and started kissing your neck. Stretching your neck to grant him better access to your skin, your breath hitched as his warm lips slid down your neck. 

His name escaped your lips, making a shiver run down his spine as he bit your shin, his teeth gently sinking on the base of your neck as another moan, slightly louder, came out of your mouth. His blood rushing everywhere in his body as he smirked. 

“You liked that, babygirl?” He purred, dragging his lips up your neck to your ear.

“Ye-yes…”. You whispered as you felt your own cheeks grow hotter and hotter. 

He bit your neck again, slightly underneath your ear, making you arch your back and grip his hair. The gentle tug made him groan softly as one of his hands slid underneath your shirt. His fingers caressed your hip, not moving much as if waiting for permission. The sweet and needy whimper that came of your mouth soon after was the answer he needed as his hand roamed your body underneath your shirt. Noticing the way your skin got covered in goosebumps and your breath deepened made his pants feel uncomfortably tighter. 

“Talk to me, Princess…” He purred seductively. “Do you like this?” You whined. 

“Ye-yes…” You whispered. “I-I do…”

Amused by your shyness, he pulled back and looked at you attentively, wanting to see the reactions he managed to pull from you. 

“Can I take this off?” He murmured, referring to your shirt.

His gentle voice caressing your ears and making your crotch ache desperately as you nodded and stuttered and affirmative. 

“Only of you take off yours too…” You said. 

“Ah, m’lady wants conditions equality, I can respect that…” He giggled mischievously as he pulled back and took off his red plaid shirt along with his Iron Maiden shirt. 

You could feel your heart beating everywhere in your body as you stared at him. Hypnotized by all of him as you wondered if this was actually happening. After throwing his shirts to your floor, he wasted no time pulling your shirt off of you as his lips quickly attached to your shoulders and chest, his hands idly playing with the straps of your bra, pulling them down your shoulders. 

“You know…Condition equality includes this as well…” He purred as his fingers gently tugged on your bra, making you shiver. 

“Smartass,” You chuckled. 

“I’m just stating the facts, love” He sand as he ran a thumb over your skin, teasing your breast as he followed the cup’s curve, dangerously close to your nipple. “But I’ll wait for Ground Control’s instructions…” He said kissing your chest right underneath your clavicle. 

“Just take the goddamn thing off…” You scoffed as Eddie’s big curious eyes looked at you with fascination. 

“Desperate, are we?” 

“Just a little…” You admitted, feeling the heat rising up as Eddie’s hands snuck behind your back to undo the clip.

“Just a little…” He repeated.

As he let your bra fall off your bed, he wasted no time kissing your skin. Every now and then teasing you with his teeth, sucking on it, making sure he left some sort of evidence of what was going to happen. Always gentle, he noticed the particular shyness with which you reacted to his ministrations. He went slow, learning how to distinguish every sound and movement you made, and trying to learn the unspoken language of your body. 

Always aware that you weren’t perhaps the most experienced in these things, he asked for your permission for everything. If it was okay to touch or kiss somewhere, if he could take your pants off. And the tender and caring manner, along with his big doe eyes, it was impossible to resist him. Your mind spiraling out of control,as you wanted nothing more that to enjoy your night with him. You wanted nothing more than to feel him all around you. 

Once the both of you were completely naked, kissing and tasting each other’s skin, mapping everything little detail in a beautiful lovely memory, and once you’d made your way underneath the covers of your bed, it all felt too intimate. Sure, you were insanely nervous for what was going to happen, but you were also excited for it. 

As Eddie nestled between your legs, his erection gently resting on your belly, throbbing with anticipation, he had you locked in an intoxicating kiss. The heat of his body radiating into yours, as your legs around him kept him close. Hanging from the very last string of his salinity, waiting for your green like to move forward.

You broke the kiss, catching your breath.

"Wa-wait, Ed…” You stuttered shyly.

“What is it, princess?” He murmured pulling back and staring at you.

“There’s something you’ve got to know first…” The words dragging out of your mouth as you felt your cheeks grow hot at the slight embarrassment, Eddie however had been slowly putting the pieces together based on your reactions.

“We don’t have to do this of you don’t want…” He purred kissing your forehead. 

“I-I know…But I do want to…with you…” His heart stopped at the sincere look in your eyes and your words getting stuck in his brain. He smirked.

“Oh baby I’m honored…” He began, his cheeky smirk spreading as his heart almost jumped out of your  “But you know if we do this, we’re gonna have to marry asap and have my kids right? I’m thinking at least four…” He teased, managing to make you giggle.

“Oh shut up, you don’t believe that bullshit…” Eddie laughed at your remark. 

“No, not at all…” He purred as he “But, if we do this…You’ll be mine, and trust me, I don’t give up easily on what’s mine…” His voice grew seductive as he leaned forward and pecked your lips.

“What does that mean?” You giggled.

“I’ll follow you till the end of the world. Or until you tell me to…” He smiled and kissed you slowly, his lips locking with yours as one of his hands slid down your body down to your hips. “If you want me to stop or go slower, just tell me…Tonight everything’s about you, baby” He whispered.

You nodded. 

His hand slid down all the way to your thigh, now going up, closer and closer to your needy hole. His finger ran up and down your wet slick, as he smirked, proud that he had you like that. 

Your breath hitched as he watched your reaction attentively. His thumb circled your clit softly, watching you shit your eyes closed and moan softly, as you pushed your head back. Fascinated, he felt his mouth grow thirsty as he continued staring at you, hypnotized by your reactions. 

“Can I?” He asked, his index finger sliding to your entrance, teasing you, as his finger continued to get more and more covered in your arousal. 

“Please,” You begged. 

His finger very slowly sank inside of you, feeling your tight walls clenching around it, as a soft whimper escaped your throat. He kissed you sweetly, silencing your cry. 

“Silence, baby…You don’t want your parents hearing and walking on us, now do you?” He muttered. 

“N-no…” You stuttered. 

“Does it hurt?” 

“It’s just…weird…” You murmured. 

“It’ll soon feel good, I promise…” He pressed his forehead to yours.

He continued fingering you. Slowly, patiently exploring your velvet walls, once again guided by your reactions as he allowed you to get used to the feeling. Quickening his pace and eventually sliding a second finger in. Your sweet quiet moans fueling him, making him desperate to claim you as his, growing addicted to the beautiful sounds you made and the way you so desperately called his name. He kept going, building up a rhythm you could easily grow used to, until he had you cumming around his fingers. Proud of the mess the made of you, his cramped fingers still buried deep inside you, he took in the gorgeous image of your body slightly shaky and covered in a thin layer of sweat. 

“Fuck, your beautiful…” He purred. 

“Kiss me, Eddie…“ You whined. “Kiss me, please” 

Obediently, he kissed you, swallowing your whines as he could taste the universe in your mouth. His heart full and body hot, he slowly pulled his fingers out, pulling a soft grunt out of you. One he gladly drank from your kiss as well. As the world came back to focus, you clung to him, being painfully away of his length still on your belly. You shivered at the thought of eventually having it inside you. 

“E-Eddie…” You whispered breathless. “I want you” You purred. 

He felt a shiver run down his spine as he smiled and looked at you, his black eyes devouring you with adoration. 

“Your wish is my command, baby…” He muttered as he wasted no time, running his wet fingers over his erection, coating his dick with your arousal and positioning himself against your entrance. 

He looked at you one last time for consent as you gave him a shy nod. And with that, he pushed inside of you. Slowly. Very slowly. A gasp caught in his throat, as your tight walls seemed to squeeze around him, gently sucking him as you covered your own mouth with one of your hands, muffling the moan fighting its way out. Feeling ecstatic, he closed his eyes, enjoying the sweet feeling of your warmth surrounding him as he bottomed out. As he went all in, he looked down, watching his pelvis connecting to yours, getting another shiver down his back. He smirked and leaned down, kissing your cheek. 

“You’re all mine now…” He whispered kissing your jaw as you arched your back, wrapping your arms around him. 

“I’m yours, Eddie…” God, your words made him light headed as he started moving in and out of you, slow at first. 

Eddie, who had a few encounters here and there wasn’t exactly crazy about sex. Sure, he had his kinks and had fun every time he had the chance to have sex, but he wasn’t someone who’s actively go around flirting with people, looking for someone to take back to his bed. But this, with you, oh, he could definitely see himself getting addicted to doing this with you. It was far more than just the sex and the adrenaline running through his veins. It was the intimacy of it. Your body so close to his, your whispers and moans cooing him, the way your touch set him on fire. Sex had never felt this good before. 

His thrusts going deeper and deeper and getting faster and faster, he still remained collected, reminding himself that this was your first time. Besides, he loved attentively watching the way you moved and reacted. The way you opened your mouth and said nonsense with every push. The way your face got all flustered every time he praised you. And god, the way you told him over and over you were his. And only his. His heart beating alongside yours as you both shared this moment, getting drunk and lost in each other, as every piece of your heart was on the table. Caught fire, and skin tingling. It was such an addictive feeling.

What were you doing to him?

Nothing in his life had ever felt so gratifying as that moment right there. And he knew he did not want to let you go. Not when you left to New York, not ever. He would definitely keep his word and follow you to the end of the world. 

Low moans and sweet nothings dissipated in the air, caught between the hungry kisses of two lovers. Their bodies melting together and the pleasure increasing with every second, thirsty for that high at the end of the road. The ecstasy of both of your orgasm condensing slowly. Eddie cumming shortly before you, but not stopping until you were pushed off the edge as well. Blissfully giving in to that relaxing burn and tingling his entire body, washing over him as your walls clenched around him, and he moaned with his face nuzzled against your neck. 

Once the both of you came off your highs, Eddie was still lying on top of you, catching his breath as his entire body melted on top of yours, relaxed, ready to fall asleep for the next several weeks. He hummed softly and kissed your chest.

You stared at Eddie with melting eyes, smiling at the sight of him leaving small pecks all over your skin.  He eventually noticed you staring at him and blushed lightly. 

"What?” He whispered. 

“You meant that?” You asked with a low purr. 

“What exactly?” He hummed slightly sleepy resting his chin over your chest, staring at you with sleepy eyes.

“That you’ll follow me till the end of the world?” He smiled and closed his eyes.

“Definitely” He purred.

“Does that include New York?”  

“Especially New York…” He replied at once.

“Really?” 

“Is it so hard to believe?” He chuckled softly “I don’t think I ever felt like this about someone…Not to sound like a slut, but I’ve had my fair share of flash romances and one night stands, and none of them sparked in me whatever it is you did…” He said as you stared at him, and ran a finger through his hair, brushing a misplaced strand of hair off his face, “I’d never felt so scared of losing someone…I do want to be with you…whether if it’s here, or in New York…if you tell me you want to pack up and go walking to Argentina, I’ll go too…” 

You smiled, considering his words, biting your lower lip.

“That actually sounds like a good idea…” You said.

“Argentina?” 

“A sabbatical year before college…Perhaps not spend the entire year but…working and saving up money for six months, and then go to Argentina…” You wondered, as Eddie’s smile spread.

“Can we take a small detour to Brazil?” You giggled at his proposal.

“We can go anywhere…” You replied, noticing the dumbfounded smile he was giving you “What?” You asked.

“I seriously am in love with you…” He sighed lifting himself up on his elbows “I know, it’s cringy, saying this right after we had sex for the first time but…” He chuckled at his own comment “I’ve had feelings for you for some time now…” 

“How long?” You murmured curiously.

“I always found you pretty, but since you were often hanging around all sorts of popular crowds, I didn’t really feel like approaching you…” He began “After we met, boy, I wish I had talked to you earlier. You’re nothing like them and you’re far cooler than anyone else in that school…I was smitten after that time we went to have Chinese? Do you remember?” 

“That was literally the week after the detention thing” 

“Exactly!” Eddie said gawking “And when you showed me your portfolio that same day with all your favorite pictures, man, I felt like I’d jumped down a cliff and fell on my face” You blushed.

“Since then?” You giggled. 

“I’m pathetic, I know…” He chuckled. 

“No, you’re not…” You kissed his cheek. “For me it was when you introduced me to your uncle…” 

“What?” You giggled at his confused reaction.

“Yeah…You know you look at him in a very particular way?” Eddie raised an eyebrow.

“Really?” 

“Like you’re immensely grateful to him…And like you genuinely care for him, I saw that look and thought ‘Man, I wish someone ever looked at me that way…’” 

“Yeah well,” Eddie chuckled, blushing lightly “He took me in after my asshole dad ended in prison…I knew having to watch over me and practically raise me was rough for him, I was a kid but I wasn’t stupid, I saw it was hard for him in the begining, and I felt like a burden, but he never complained, though…” Eddie sighed as his eyes suddenly got lost in the distance as he recalled his childhood memories “He never got mad, he was always nice and gentle with me…” Eddie chuckled meeting your stare again “He bought me my first guitar and signed me up for classes after he once found me playing with a broom, pretending it was a guitar while I jammed to Pink Floyd…” 

“That’s cute…” You whispered smiling, feeling a gentle squeeze in your chest upon seeing that sweet spark in Eddie’s eyes. 

“I owe everything to that old man…” He sighed deeply “Specially now because, thanks to him, the girl of my dreams loves me back” He smirked.

 Giggling, you cupped his face and pulled him in for a small peck.

“Thank you for helping me sneak out of detention…” You whispered.

“You’re very welcome, love” He smirked. 

~~~~~~

I hope you liked this one! Please make sure to leave a like, a comment or a reblog, help spread my work please! I also have a few more (considerably shorter) Eddie fics and a few fic recs in my blog if you're interested!

[uncontrolledfission]

day 32 of 100 days of productivity 💌

Nice day, as usual. I spent my morning free doing a bit of maths homework, then I was reading. I’ve decided the physics floor will become The Study Spot for my Thursday frees. The physics department have a very cool stash of Physics Review magazines up for us to read which was quite fun! I spent a while reading about mirages and the Chandrasekhar limit, one of which will be my next mini-article.

Afterwards, I continued reading my book, ‘Surely you’re joking, Mr. Feynman!’ It’s been so fun so far!! I love reading about eccentric personalities, and combined with Feynman’s love of science, well, it’s just amazing.

I was really tired in general, though, I slept about six hours yesterday because I was busy, so I found myself falling asleep a lot today. Note to self. Find more efficient ways to study so you can sleep more.

I spent a while at home working on code to encrypt messages using the Vernam Cipher. I felt so satisfied finishing the first half! Now I just need to do the other half, which is decryption of it.

Then I started on my Anki flash cards. I have about 280 for all of my subjects combined so far. I’ve been putting off actually doing them for no reason so I finally started. I decided I won’t do all 280 in a day, though, since I’ll be just as exasperated when massive chunks of them come up at once to review. If I do it day by day, the reviews should come up day by day, which is what I’m looking for.

I’m trying to start revising for my mocks after Christmas right now. I always feel very miserable if I don’t get to take a break from studying over the holidays, so I must study ahead. That said, I won’t be break-free: since I’m taking AS Maths after Christmas, I’m going to have to work as hard as I can on it to get the highest marks I can!

Tomorrow, I have maths, CS, and EPQ. The latter has become one of my favourite classes purely because I’m finding it fun. I also can’t wait for the weekend, though!

- J