#just not my vibe most the time especially in a living situation
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grayve-mistake · 2 days ago
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It's good to know how to protect yourself, but I agree that a lot of people take it way too far. I think the best general rule is; Like the first person said, highly populated areas during the day are generally safest for the first few dates. Cafe, movie, restaurant, picnic at the park, whatever suits you. As long as there's cameras and people and it's not the middle of the night. Shoot someone a text about where you are if it makes you more comfortable but it's generally not necessary to be too stressed about it. NEVER go to a bar or a club with a guy/date without telling anyone. Yes, even if you're gay, mlm and wlw dates aren't always safe either. Tell people where you are and when you plan on coming home, don't take your eyes off your drink. Common sense. Never go to a house or secluded location unless you know the person REALLY really well. Shoot someone a text letting them know where you are beforehand. If you get a bad gut feeling to the point where you feel the need to use a million extra security measures, just listen to your feelings, make an excuse, say "sorry i have to go, thanks for your time", and politely leave. Don't try to push through it or make it work if you're getting a bad vibe. Just end the date early, don't bother with a million extra paranoid measures. You're better off just going home if you feel unsafe. If you think someone's following you home, drive around a block a few times to confirm they're actually following you, then drive towards a police station. Usually they'll back off.
You don't need a million self defense devices and gadgets. Learn some basic maneuvers, keep one or two REASONABLE self defense tools at most if necessary. You only really need any of this stuff if you're walking home alone at night a lot. You don't need a million alarms and locks in your house either, they're probably more dangerous than whatever threat you're trying to protect yourself from. Simple latches on your doors and windows will usually do just fine, especially if you're not in a high-crime area (most of the women posting their elaborate security systems online, nay, the only people that can AFFORD elaborate security are white people in a nice little middle class neighborhood with white picket fences. They have nothing to be scared of). You don't need 50 guns, you don't need a husband with you 24/7, most of you don't need 10 alarms or 100 different locks on your door and barricaded windows that'll be real inconvenient when you're in a housefire or a more realistic emergency. Let loose a little. enjoy your life. Go on a cute date without checking your phone 80 times. Live in the moment for a change. It's ok. A while ago I had to walk a mile in the dark after a long shift at work. I share transportation with someone and I live too far away to just walk home, but they had the car, and we worked in the same town so I thought I'd just walk over and ask for the keys instead of waiting around for the next few hours for them to get off their late night shift. The sun went down before I left, it was quiet, dark, and there were lots of run down houses. I passed by a few strangers on the way there. You wanna know what happened? Nothing. Well, my legs were tired and I got a few stickers stuck to my shoes. But other than that, nothing. Did I have the means to defend myself if I had to? Yeah. I keep a couple practical things on me just-in-case. But I've never needed them, and hopefully I never will.
You know the most dangerous thing I encountered on that walk? The lack of fucking sidewalks and crosswalks. Had to strategically dart across some very busy roads and watched a guy slam on his brakes past the white line because he was going to run a red light until he saw me step forward a bit. The danger was not the random guy or two I saw walking around, probably in a similar situation as me, and minding their business. If you want to make your city safer, advocate for better walkability or public transit, lmao.

i'm sorry the self-victimization of some women i see online is crazyyyyy, they're saying shit like "yeah being a woman is so crazy, if you go on a date you have to text his full name and picture to your friend, and also where you're meeting, and share your location throughout the date, and check in hourly" girl the only safety measure you need is meeting in a populated place. that man is NOT going to kidnap you from Popular Cafe on Well-Frequented Street in broad daylight at 2pm. i promise. do you go forest hiking as a first date or what the fuck.
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space-blue · 3 days ago
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A true off my chest bit about Jinx
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It's a little critical of the show, but not hate posting. Just my feelings regarding the handling of Jinx.
I just feel like Jinx's death shows the writers hand in a bad way.
To me act 1 sucks because it felt the most rushed and like it needed to pad and set some things in motions, and most importantly they needed to delay Jinx's suicidality.
By all accounts Jinx should have broken after Silco's death. She should have buried him in the Pilt, walked home, set the place on fire and killed herself.
Instead she needs to be delayed, and she needs to have a reason to be in Stillwater with a lot of Zaunites, so that Singed can do his hiring bid demo with Warwick and score a new employer in Embessa.
It's convoluted, but basically Jinx needs two things :
temporary sanity
a reason to completely blow up later on
And they do both via Isha, the worst character in the whole show as far as I'm concerned.
She's introduced in a bad music video that does a weird job of introducing "sane Jinx". Then she seems to immediately be part of the team, and her attachment to Jinx, with zero set up, made it super out of left field.
It was blatant that she was being set up as a mini Powder to calm Jinx down, and when she blows herself up it's not gratifying if you know she's just a crank/lever being used to flip Jinx into dark and depressed mode.
IMO this could have been handled better (and I'd change a lot of the Zaun situation in Act 1 alongside), but then could have still led to Jinx being "saved" by Ekko.
Instead, I feel like the writers, maybe pressed for time, maybe unwilling to keep the "loose canon" as she was in the new state of the world, chose to kill her off.
Her death is Vi's fault, and I can't help but feel it's manufactured.
I feel like the writers broke Jinx an extra time just to tilt her over the edge and have that emotional scene with Ekko, but then couldn't see how to "excuse her".
Like what she's done is too fucked up, too dark (even if Cait served the city to Noxus on a silver platter, gased zaun, and faced no consequences lol) and she can't be made to move on from the horrors of it all.
It feels like they didn't have the time or will to break the cycle for Jinx. But it feels bad. It feels like it was an "attempt at redemption" death.
WW was an arcane creature by then and they all fucked off with Viktor and Jayce. They could have chosen to keep him innactive. They could have had Vi going with Ekko and relying on him.
The one person who can truly believe in the good in her, because he's literally experienced it in another version of herself. The one guy who could tell her again and again that it's not HER, it's the way the world made things, and that this can change.
I don't see why shy away from that, even implied, especially after Ekko managed to pull her from the brink.
It feels like Jinx is a "too far gone" rabid dog better put down than left loose in their setting.
And I don't really vibe with that. I thought true redemption would be her living. Leading. Her and Ekko could work to better Zaun while Sevika safeguards their interests in the Council.
And Vi could have still cried over WW's body.
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