#just full of other peoples opinions bc if i really believed what i beleive id be able to explain/rationalize it but my mind just goes blank

[vraska-theunseen]

the other day i was watching the crying game with my dad and he was talking about dil and i was kind of being overbearing in how i tried to correct his language in a way i later apologized for because i was embarrassed at how it sounded like i was authoritarian about meaningless specifics and being a rabid unwarranted sjw or whatever. and when i did he said it's just that we disagree on some topics and when i asked for clarification he said something like "i don't believe a man can become a woman, like genetically, with chromosomes and all that." and at the time i was like 🫤 fuckin transphobia and i tried to think of a response and in an attempt to meet him where he was i could only kind of weakly be like "well gender is social so social roles and recognition matter more than a string of dna if a trans person is recognized as a woman in society it doesn't matter what their dna says" and then we had a little bit more conversation before unpausing the movie and that was the end of that. i've been thinking about it a lot and i think based on how he phrased it i think it might just be a situation of him not being familiar with how i and others think of trans related things like the distinction between biological sex and gender identity and gender presentation etc, i know rationally there's a difference between being a willful bigot and being misinformed or ignorant and he is always polite socially and genders people correctly in conversation and stuff when he remembers even if he will confide in me things like this. it's hard for me who is so steeped in hanging out with young queer people to work backwards to thinking of how i'd explain it if i wasn't familiar at all bc i think of everything so abstractly. it could just be wishful thinking on my part that i could convince him of anything obviously he's an adult who is capable of being deluded and bigoted but i'd like to believe he'd be open to listening and capable of growth so i really wish i was more articulate and more able to think through and internalize and then re explain concepts bc i think if i just had conversations w him where he could be like well i think this or i don't understand this i could try to elaborate on my perspective in a way that might teach him some things. but im not articulate most complex topics i don't understand in a way where i can explain them even to someone who's already closer to my side (drives me crazy makes me feel so stupid and incapable of having thoughts of my own but not the point of this post) i've spent 30 minutes writing and editing this post alone so i feel like there's no way for me to find out if changing his mind is possible