#josh hutcherson was great in it don't get me wrong but my dislike of the movie itself overshadows that

[thestarmaker]

The delicate dance of trying to find The Right Movie for your bath

[youmaycallmebrian]

look i really don't want to be a killjoy, I don't want to be the "boomer" who over-criticizes movies because they don't get anything and refuse to have fun... Like, I really want to enjoy this and join in on the fun but I can't lie, I was so so so disappointed with the FNAF movie. I wasn't expecting anything good because i'm used to video game movie adaptations being terrible. And yet, I was still let down. It was worse than what I even imagined. And I see everyone going crazy over the movie and saying it was so good and legendary and all and I'm just... what? Did we see the same movie? Am I insane? Am I missing something? Did I reach that annoying "adult" stage of life where everything seems dull?

I don't want to sound like an annoying movie elitist youtuber that sound like they think they have it all figured out and know better than everyone (u know the kind i'm talking about). I generally don't know jackshit about movies, so please take everything I say with a grain of salt. My opinion doesn't hold much value. I'm honestly just trying to make sense of what I saw with this long ass post lol. SPOILERS AHEAD, just in case it wasn't obvious. I'll try to be as fair and precise as possible in what I liked and disliked.

Here's what I liked: the animatronics design was awesome, they really looked like the ones in the first game. The whole pizzeria too. That was cool. The actors were great. I think they did the best with what they had. I don't have anything bad to say regarding the acting. Gods, seeing Matthew Lilliard with white hair made me feel old (he was like my first celebrity crush when i was a 5 year old child, in the scooby doo live action). And seeing Josh Hutcherson playing what I thought to be a dad but turns out to just be a big brother ALSO made me feel old (aren't we just used to him always being someone's son in all his dang movies???). Also seeing MatPat was cool. I also like how they explored the whole theme of "you don't need to be rich to be a good parent/guardian or to make your child happy" as we saw with Abby and Mike vs the aunt, and I also like how abby being more introverted and into drawing wasn't seen as a necessarily bad thing. I liked those themes.

Here's what I disliked: Okay first. That whole backstory with Mike and his little brother, the "dream theory" thing. Very cool, a very nice concept to explore in a movie. HOWEVER, what the heck was this doing in a fnaf movie? Like, was it just me? idk i just think it was way too much of a side-plot... I know it was related because it's implied then confirmed that Afton took the little brother. But like... I don't know. It just seemed so freaking random and out of place? Like what are the chances are that this is the guy who took your little brother and that you end up working for him? It's just not the vibe at all I was expecting for a game about being a security guard in a haunted pizzeria? I thought we were going to see and feel the atmosphere that the first game gives, like being stuck in that tiny little room, realizing slowly there's something wrong with the animatronics, the panic as you watch the camera footage, the survival instinct kicking in as you try to rationalize it... Instead, Mike just slept through all of it to "solve" a completely different side-plot. (again, yes I know it's not really a side-plot since it was directly related in a way, but it really did feel like such a random, far away thing) And then the "ghosts" of the children appearing in the dream as if it's like something they do all the time... Idk man. This whole thing just felt so weird and out of place.

2nd thing I disliked: Abby being involved. I love her character, don't get me wrong, she was adorable, i love her to death. But her role in the story felt so... plot-convenient? Like oh the new security guard just happens to have a little sister the same age as the children who went missing and can see ghosts and likes to draw and one day she sleeps in there bc the babysitter is unreachable.

Speaking of the babysitter... That whole thing where they pair up with the evil aunt to sabotage Mike's career... Again, this just felt so... random? I don't know what other words to use. It just felt like it came out of nowhere.

Another thing I disliked. How quickly Mike just. Accepted that there were animatronics moving on their own because they're haunted with the ghosts of murdered children. And how he just casually builds a fort with them and Abby and Vanessa. Like... bro??? What are you doing? Aren't you worried? Aren't you scared? Confused? Listen I know the animatronics are supposed to be like goofy and all since, at the core, they're literally just children. But like... Idk this is just... not the vibe at all I was expecting? It completely took me out, honestly, like it just broke the immersion for me. I mean, come on. I don't care how psychic you are, how open-minded you are, if you see huge-ass animatronics moving on their own, you will be terrified.

Other thing I disliked: Vanessa as a character in general. Nothing against the actress (It's Beck!!!!!). Just... why the fuck did she even show up there in the first place other than for snooping around? She had honestly no actual cop business there. And why did she spend so much time there, on her actual job hours? makes absolutely 0 sense to me. This seemed to be only fan service (in reference to vanessa/vanny). I honestly genuinely do not have valid reasons for this one other than I just really didn't like her character in general.

Also... Why is no one mentionning the smell of the animatronics? Or how they would probably have attracted maggots and dangerous parasites? There are decades old bodies decaying inside them ffs... I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure you'd notice something is off about the smell pretty quickly. Even when the people went in to trash the place, their bodies stayed in the pizzeria for a whole 2-3 days after that while Mike and Abby were there. It's enough time for the smell to start hitting. Yet no one noticed...

Speaking of the bodies. It was a PG 13 movie. why? 8+ at most would've sufficed. Also... was it a horror movie, a comedy, a drama, a thriller? All of these? Because it felt like none of these. Like, it felt like it was trying to be a horror or a comedy, but just didn't commit fully. Idk how to explain it properly, it felt like it was holding back, in a sense.

Also when they electrified the animatronics, ngl, it felt like I was watching a bugs bunny cartoon.

I feel like there was sooooo much of the lore being dropped in the film, but in very awkward ways? Like it was trying so hard to appeal to the fans with all the little details of lore but it GIRL the fnaf lore is crazy heavy and complicated there was just no way you could plug it all in just one film... and yeah, that really kinda broke the pace of the movie, in my opinion. It was all revealed all at once, so bluntly? People keep saying "if you like the games and the lore you will love this movie" and for me it's like... no?? Quite the opposite? The lore feels all crammed in there with no real purpose... it felt so weird.

Alright I'll stop here. I know movie adaptations can't always be truthful to the games, realistically speaking since it's not the same kind of media. I know that. Sometimes major changes are a good thing. Sometimes going a bit off the plot can be beneficial. It's just that, in this specific movie adaptation, it felt so... out of place? I really disliked the changes. Don't understand them. The entire thing feels so far away from the source material in a way where I just honestly cannot enjoy it.

But everyone seems to have loved the movie so clearly there's something i'm missing, and I am honestly genuinely very open to discuss it, if you liked the movie please tell me why and how. Because for now I am just flabbergasted at how much I just don't fucking get it...