#john price as a girl dad both softens and amuses me

[saharamae21]

Midsummers (JJ Imagine - Part Two)

Author: sguymon21

Summary: After JJ and you break up, it takes a lot to heal. Nothing seems to be working, so when Rafe invited you to Midsummers, it seems like just the distraction you needed. However, everything he does reminds you of JJ.

Warnings: None?

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We got the ferry and made our way around White Chapel. Everything was new to me and Rafe was so amused by my excitement. He was watching every reaction carefully and I knew that. I smiled at the thought and he just stared.

“What?” he asked.

“It just feels nice to be paid attentioned to,” I said. I stared at him with a small smile. His eyes softened when he heard that and grabbed my hand harshly to counter his expression. Then his hand became soft as it embraced mine. He was being careful with me for some reason. It made my heart flutter though.

We walked into a store filled with gowns. I stared at them. I knew I couldn’t afford anything in this room, but I didn’t want to disappoint Rafe. I watched as he went to a rake and pulled a few dresses he thought would look good on me. I blushed at the thought of him knowing what would work on my body. I walked through the racks and brushed my fingers against each one before something finally caught my eye. It was a slightly sheer, pale pink dress. The dress had a white ribbon pattern and pink and green flowers made of beads. It was the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. Rafe grabbed it off the rack and handed it to me.

“Oh, I was just looking,” I said. It was a $6,995 dollar dress, something I couldn’t dream of buying.

“Just try it on,” he said. He asked a worker to get me a dressing room and put the dress in it. I stepped in and decided to humor Rafe. The truth is that I wanted to wear it though. I wanted to see if it was as beautiful on me as it was on the hanger. I slipped it on and the fabric felt soft against my skin. I was scared to look at myself in the mirror. I was scared I would like who stood in front of it. I finally got the courage to look up and the old y/n was gone. In her place was this beautiful, rich girl. A girl who demanded attention. I felt the curtain slide open and Rafe peaked in. “Wow…”

“I don’t know,” I said, remembering the price.

“It’s perfect. You look beautiful,” he said, unable to look away. I could feel myself blush. “We’ll take it!”

As I heard him yell that towards a worker, I felt my heart sink. I couldn’t pay for this. I opened my mouth to protest, but he didn’t let me speak.

“It’s a gift,” he said and smiled. He had no idea how badly I received gifts.

Kie and I were walking around together. JJ had decided to spend the day with John and Pope, so that left us having a girls day. Even though I was around Kie a lot now, we didn’t have very much one on one time. It was nice.

“So you and JJ’s three month is coming up soon,” she said. I smiled at the thought. Has it been three months already? “Do you have any plans?”

“He’s gonna take me out on the boat,” I said. I smiled at all the plans we actually had. A moonlight picnic on the sea and a night out under the stars. Everything I ever wanted.

“That sounds nice,” she said. “I heard he got you something pretty nice.”

I felt my anxiety rise when she said that. I had figured we were doing gifts and I loved giving gifts, but I didn’t receive many growing up. My family was poor and getting things we didn’t need to survive was like a sin.

“Do you know what it is?” I asked. She shook her head no and asked what I got him. I pulled out a small box and smiled. I had spent a whole paycheck on his gift. It was a nice watch, one that the country club kids wear. I opened the box and let Kie see and she smiled.

“He’ll love it,” she said. I hoped so.

When it came time to exchange gifts, we were laying on the deck of his dad’s ship. The stars shined brightly above us and I laid in his arms. As the waves rocked us, I reflected on the past three months. I smiled more than ever and I couldn’t remember the last time I was truly this happy. While I stared at the stars, he stared at me.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said. I thought I had misheard him for a second.

“They are beautiful,” I said, staring at the sky.

“No, you are,” he said. I turned and looked at him. He looked like he was looking at something precious. I kissed him quickly and placed my hand on his cheek. “Close your eyes.”

I closed them and felt his lips touch my forehead. Then I felt something fall around my neck, a chain. He told me I could open my eyes and my heart stopped. I looked down and saw a cute little compass pendant hanging from my neck. It had a little diamond in the middle and it was so shiny. We had passed this necklace walking around town and I’m surprised he remembered me looking at it. However, I was even more surprised when I remembered the price.

“Now no matter where you are, you can always find your way back to me,” he said. I opened my mouth to object to the amount of money he spent, but he didn’t let me speak. “It’s a gift.”

I held the bag in my hand tightly as I rode on the back of Rafe’s bike, back to my car. I hopped off and smiled at him. I thanked him for the lovely day and walked as he drove off. As I turned towards my car, a familiar set of blue eyes met mine. JJ. I stared for a second and sighed before breaking eye contact and getting into my car. If I stayed any longer I would just die on the inside a little more. I sat there for a moment before speeding away.

The rest of the week was filled with a mix of Rafe and loneliness. There was no real happiness though. I missed my friends, but I couldn’t face JJ. I didn’t fit in with Rafe’s friends and family. Even when I was alone with Rafe, everything he did reminded me of JJ. Finally, Midsummers was here though. I was getting ready at Kie’s and she helped me look my best. I looked in the mirror and I didn’t recognize the girl in front of me. I thought I wanted this, but really it was all just a huge distraction so I didn’t have to feel bad about myself anymore.

“Hey,” Kie said. “I should’ve told you this earlier, but JJ’s working for Heyward tonight. He’ll be there.”

I swallowed hard and just nodded, never taking my eyes off myself in the mirror. Kie knew something was wrong. She placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled.

“You look beautiful,” she tried to encourage me. I said nothing. “Are you ever going to tell me why you and JJ broke up?”

It was a matter of time before she asked. I had broken down in front of her a couple of times, but she never forced me to talk about it. She knew I would when I was ready, but the time never came. I sighed and sat down on her bed. The truth is that I couldn’t even wrap my brain around why we break up. It all happened so fast.

I loved spending time with him. The waves used to be my only found freedom, but something about JJ made that seem like nothing. He was the only thing that made me feel this unstoppable. I walked up the path to the beach, board under my arm and smiled. When I got out into the open, I looked around. JJ was already there, hair wet from the ocean. He was talking to this girl. She looked around our age, only I could tell she wasn’t from around here. Whatever she was saying to JJ was making him laugh. I felt jealousy well up inside of me, but I pushed them away. JJ wasn’t someone who would cheat on me. I walked up to him, a smile on my face.

“Hey,” I said. “Am I late?”

“Right on time actually,” he said and slung his arm over my shoulder. The girl took the hint and walked away, but she was the first of many. In the upcoming days, I saw more and more girls around JJ. I never said anything though. I trusted him.

A few weeks had passed since the girls first showed up. We were all together at the boneyard. The party was raging and I sat next to JJ. Something seemed off. I knew he had just gotten in another fight, but he never spoke of it. I wondered if it was with his dad, but I didn’t want to pry too much. I held his hand and tried to comfort him, but he just pulled his hand away from mine. I frowned.

“Let’s talk somewhere quiet,” he said. I smiled and nodded. He had held back from me for too long, we always told each other everything. I held onto his arm as we walked. I used him to help me walk straight. We had both had a couple drinks, but only I was feeling it. When we made it back to the van, he sat across from me. “Let’s not do this anymore.”

I felt my blood run cold. Nothing had ever sobered me up so quickly. All I could do was stare at his face and listen to him explain.

“I wanna see other people,” he stared. “I’m not the relationship type. I don’t wanna hear bout how your day was or tell you bout everything in my life. I don’t need a therapist.”

With every word, my heart sank further and further into my stomach.

“You’re suffocating me,” he said. I just nodded and pulled my knees into my chest. I could feel the tears coming as I looked down at my knees. He mumbled an apology and left me there. He left me alone to think about how I destroyed our relationship. I was clingy, no I was suffocating. All the days spent together were too much. All the nights we slept side by side were nothing. I felt like I was going to be sick. Now I felt like I was suffocating.

“Y/n,” Kie said and I snapped out of it. I felt my breathing slow back down to normal and my shoulders slumped. All the thoughts that I had locked away flooded my mind. I ruined us. “I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“I’m fine,” I said in the most convincing way I could. I pushed the hurtful thoughts away and finished getting ready. My hair was in loose curls and my makeup was done in a light and natural manner. I was ready to go to Midsummers.

I met Rafe in the lobby of the country club. He looked kind of handsome dressed up and waiting there for me. I blushed as he told me that I looked beautiful. He offered me his arm and I took it carefully. We walked through the doors together and all eyes were on us. It was like they were all thinking, one thing here is not like the others. Rafe smiled at me though and assured me that it wasn’t anything to stress over. For a moment I felt like Cinderella. I was the one they had never seen and dressed up in clothes that looked like everyone else's, but it was all fake. I danced around with Rafe and Topper without a care in the world, but then a familiar pair of blue eyes caught mine. He stared at me like he didn’t know who I was. I broke eye contact first and went back to dancing, only this time my thoughts ran rampant. Was me being here too suffocating for him? Did I just ruin everything I touch? I excused myself for a moment, needing air.

I found myself in the gazebo. The outdoor lights twinkled around me. My head was screaming from the endless thoughts. I just wanted to know what I did wrong.

“Kie told me to come ask you if you were okay.” I heard a familiar voice ask. I turned to see Pope standing in front of me. “If this is about JJ, he regrets it.”

“I don’t want to talk about JJ,” I said.

“We miss having you around,” Pope said.

“I don’t want to suffocate anyone,” I said. His posture softened. He didn’t know how to make me feel better. It just wasn’t Pope’s thing.

“He gets scared when people start getting attached,” Pope said. I didn’t want to hear it and tried to walk past him. He grabbed my arm and kept talking. “He pushes away when people get too close. He doesn’t know what else to do. In his fucked up mind, that's the best option. He doesn’t want to destroy lives and he thinks of himself as a ticking time bomb.” “Pope stop!” I said, tears filling my eyes. “I’m the time bomb. I ruin everything and maybe he saw that! Maybe he saw that I’m someone who isn’t worth wasting time on!”

“Y/n…” It wasn’t Pope this time, it was JJ. My head shot around to see him and tears streamed down my cheek as I freed my arm and walked past both of them.

I made it back to Rafe and as soon as he saw me he pulled me aside. He wiped the tears and asked if I was okay. As he brushed his thumb across my cheekbone, he stared at me. I told him I wasn’t okay. He cupped my face and told me I was doing great. He told me to ignore everyone else. Then, he leaned in and kissed me. I pushed him off of me and felt my chest get heavy. I muttered out apologies, but it was too soon. I couldn’t do this. I ran around the building and got into my car. I couldn’t breathe as I turned the car on. I sped out of there so quickly that it must’ve looked like I had just committed a felony.

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