#john lalonde and john strider are both so soooo serious and sulky it's so cute

[yandere-monoma]

Im reading kill your ego right now and ill admit im a bit biased because John and Roxy are my favorites of all the human kids but I just have to know your thoughts on John Lalonde!!

HEHEHE don't tell the others but john lalonde might be my favorite of the kye kids hehehe

my DARLING little dark academia boyo. it's especially fun thinking about him at the moment because i'm in the middle of a homestuck reread with some friends and it's really reminding me of all the similarities between john and rose in the early acts. the way they both misrepresent and resent their parents for the interests they share (or don't share) and the way they try and avoid their dumb lame parents and all their lovey dovey shit

so it's fun taking john and giving something really to complain about and avoid. we take away the self-loathing and (psychotic) depression/chucklevoodoo influence that the egberts are cursed with and we replace it with a superiority complex and a whole lot of pretentiousness. john lalonde is an incredibly proud academic and scholar and you WILL know that he's an intellectual if it's the LAST THING HE DOES!!!

now, john's main problem with mom, as we'll see later in the fic, isn't that he thinks she's being passive aggressive with him, because i think that is honestly a very rose-specific result of her capacity to overthink. he's just honestly disappointed with her. as with all of the lalondes, john goes through the parentification that mom lowkey pushes all of her kids through by neglecting them emotionally, and he takes it pretty hard. he's overwhelmed by the endless attention, he's walking on tiptoes because he never knows when some new ridiculous thing is going to happen, and he can't even get space because who KNOWS what will happen to her and the house if he tries to stay away for an entire week???? and because he's so combative, he's incredibly loud and open about how it's affecting him. he is ready to trauma dump within a moment's notice about his mom's alcoholism, his mom's love bombing, his mom's flaws in general

though of course, he doesnt have any, no, he's perfect 🥰 HE does everything right its just everyone else thats wrong!!! and that's another point of conflict between him and everyone. his mom is into science and fantasy and literature, sure, but not the RIGHT kinds, because john's into the right kind and everyone should be into sci fi like he is, duh. both he and rose actually dabble in different types of reading and writing in this verse, but clearly HE'S the literary genius since HE reads all the good smart books while she reads a whole lot of dumb books that only horny nerd girls like 🙄 and he clearly sees jade and dave as on a lower level to him and takes every chance he can to try and 'assist' them because they're too dumb and naive to take care of themselves. lucky them, though, because they actually get to be kids, and he wants to protect their innocence just as much as he wants to protect his own status and reputation

so! at the end of the day, he's pretty much a rich boy who had to grow up too fast and is incredibly bitter of that fact, but he won't let that bitterness get in the way of all the interests and people he's so incredibly passionate about. i think john egbert is kinda aimless in a lot of ways (like we don't even really know what he wants to do when he grows up) and while i don't think john lalonde has decided a career just yet, he's someone who is constantly working on some sort of creative project for himself and can easily imagine himself in quite a few different paths for life. i think he's full of love and the capacity for empathy but struggles to access it as he drowns in his frustration over the life he feels trapped in. he's incredibly sensitive which is why we see him flying off the handle so often because he's got such a delicate little ego that feels threatened so often (god does johnny have npd i think he does rip)

and i think he dearly dearly dearly loves his mother as every lalonde child does (not that he openly shows it, which of course he's going to regret with EVERYTHING he has) and he will utterly be in PIECES when she dies. he's a mama's boy through and through but he doesn't want to come across as one, he wants people to see him as a respectable and independent bachelor but he doesn't want to show weakness either. he wants to be a leader (because his mom is a leader!!) but honestly he's still the pushover we know and love and he's constantly at the whims of his mother, especially physically, because he's such a cute lil proper boy haha i always imagine him with like cute styled hair and stiff lil preppy outfits and thin wiry glasses (if he even wears glasses, i love the thought of him getting pushed into either wearing contacts or fully just already having some bonkers corrective surgery done on him already)

and hes SUCH A CUTIEEEEEEEE I CANT WAIT TO SHOW HIM OFF MORE WHEEEEEEE