#jk I'm cringe
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And you still haven't responded to most the stuff I've answered from you
@sinnlos-star everyone's so mean 2 me sometimes....âšď¸
#theres so much more you've made fun of me for#jk I'm cringe#do not kill what cringes you kill the part of you that cringes#I'm so... poetic#jk KILL MY#.... who said that#tumblr mutuals#mutuals
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a smooch and a kiss... so intense that it tickled the skeleton bones *badum tss* (I'll never say a shit like that again)
each part separated !! đđ
(pls enjoy this before I regret doing it)
#art#my art#undertale#undertale sans#sans#sans ut#sans undertale#undertale art#digital art#undertale oc#undertale fanart#undertale fandom#oc x canon#I'm in my peak of cringe#not sure how to exactly feel abt that#but at least i'm enjoying it ig#jk I'M HAPPY RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Me: *points at Rangi before Kyoshi is found to be the Avatar* Me: Sugar Mama-Nepo Baby. Me: *points at Rangi after Kyoshi is found to be the Avatar and inherits all of Jianzhu's wealth* Me: Sugar Baby-Nepo Baby.
#rangi adapts#but is forever a nepo baby#rangshi#cracking the code#'silly...you're just stringing words together like we should know what you mean' yes...yes i am#pre-avatar reveal: BodyguardxMaid core#post-avatar reveal: just straight up bodyguard romance#kyoshi#rangi#rangi sei'naka#rangi seinaka#rangi just gets babied uwu#these words have to make sense for others too otherwise I fear I'm losing my grip on reality TT0TT (jk jk)#rise of kyoshi#shadow of kyoshi#i let this sit in my drafts for a month..........................and I regret having written it#but i'mma publish it and regret it publicly now uwu#i may be cringe but I'm having fun so who's the real winner here? 8U
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#I'm using this meme wrong yes i know#no i don't care#Listen all am saying Is that#Charlotte Evans#and#Alan Crawford#Are like the more fluffy anime version of fluttercord if like discord was more chill and met season 1 fluttershy#I will be killing myself now for making that comparison#/jk#Something something years passed and I'm still cringe#Cringe it's a way of life not a phase#And the only thing i succeed at too#Ikenaikyo#fluttercord#i'm giving the disgraced noble lady i rescued a crash course in naughtiness#konyaku haki sareta reijou wo hirotta ore ga ikenai koto wo oshiekomu#Anime#It's the vibes man the vibes#Also that one scene when all the animals just vame to Charolette made me only see fluttershy#Like kill me if you must but i speak the truth#Please#MLP#MLP:FIM#Discoshy#LMAO#Do charolette and alan have a ship name?#Meme#Anime memes#Mlp memes
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You wanna hear about my oc? Yeah you do, don't lie. My oc is a supervillain but is forced into it sinceee 8-9, but actually started doing crime after training at 14/15 (he looks older than he does) and more tragic backstory? Oh he watched his sister die at 10, also by 8-9 he was obviouslyy kidnapped. And oops I wrote him with shit ton of disorders, he's got BPD, an eating disorder and depression. He basically missed everything someone would in school so very uneducated. He's caedaroace/caedrose. Aroace. Apathetic gender + any pronouns cause why would he care? And I'm probably gonna make him have a friend that is alloaro.
#BOOM#I'm not showing my old cringe art of him- jk it's not that bad but i rather not#also I'm not showing gacha on Tumblrrr...again.#aroace#aroace characters#alloaro characters#alloaro#oc#my ocs
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HAPYP FUCKING NEW HYEARS TUMBNLRS THIS IS SOMETHING I MADE LAST SECOND FOR MY FRIEND ONCE I GYAT MY STUFF BACK- SHRIMPO KINDONSA IDFK WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#art#hellyeenbeans#artists on tumblr#artwork#my art#digital art#dandys world shrimpo#dw shrimpo#shrimpo dw#shrimpo dandys world#dandys world#dandy's world fanart#dandysworld#dandys world roblox#I DONT SUPPOWER THE CREATORS PLEASE DONT FILETTE ME#happy new year#2025#YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#ITS COMING OUT!!!!!#BALLS#new years eve#new year#new me#Jk I'm still cringe pls#TAGS WOOOO
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I have a bluesky account now!
So I know it's been a hot minute since I posted anything art related That's because I've had family obligations to do and events so I haven't had time to actually work on pieces but I am going to get back right to it, So I've heard of this app call Blue sky and a supposedly it's supposed to be better than Twitter (I am not calling it fucking X You cannot make me) And it's a newer app and I heard about it I'm like you know what why not give it a chance since I have stood away from actual social media like the fucking plague and I haven't been on an actual like apps like IG, Twitter, Snap, ect. Since very late 2019 because of everything that was happening I needed to take a mental break from anything that was social media related So this is my first time going back on the some sort of social media (I consider Tumblr more of a blogging site than a social media in my own opinion which it is a blogging site lmao) So if you're all are interested in following me on there go ahead I appreciate the support I might post my old artwork on there too I'm not sure let's see where the horizons take me lmao đ (also there will be probably a bit of reposting from here onto their so be prepared for that if you do follow me on there)
#bluesky account#art social media account#follow me if you want to support me on therr#I've never heard of Blue sky before#hopefully this app treats me well#I might do a lot of repost on there so be prepared for that#I might Post my old cringy ass art on their#So prepare for the Le cringe#jk jk jk I'm just fucking with you#lmao#I am so fucking stupid I'm sorry lmao#i can't wait to grow as an artist and to grow my account#I want to improve as an artist#artists on tumblr#mysticgeekzartz
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You know that one image of Guy Fieri wearing Juggalo makeup from Homestuck? Do you think that image singlehandedly inspired the creation of Steve Bigtop Burger?
#bigtop burger#btb steve#I'm afraid if I go and try to find this image online I'll realize I imagined it and it never really existed#homestuck#I know worthikids used to be big in the homestuck fandom#He had homestuck animations on his yt but then deleted them#Bc he is coward#Jk#I know hs was seen as big cringe in like 2019#Or maybe he just thinks they don't look good anymore#Idk#I don't know this man
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the universe doesn't allow me to cuddle with anyone I'm in a relationship with (distance) because if the sappy pathetic shit I mumble while cuddling my penguin plushie and imagining it's iv means anything it would be so aquover forever
#âł the fool speaks#WHY AM I CRINGEEEEEEE jk I'm notcringe if you call me cringe you're just calling me in love or something
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Oc x reader hcs bc me n my friend got too silly
Cringe as hell I know but me n my friend r obsessed w my demon slayer oc Antimony so yea read or skip idc
Oh yeah my oc only likes men so ofc non-platonic stuff don't include women (be who u areee for u prideee)
Also idfk how to write this is fr just cause my bestie encouraged me to do this
⢠How meeting him goes would depend on you ig since he's a demon? Like if you're a slayer he'd probably flirt while fighting, if you're a demon he'd try to form an alliance and if you're just some regular ass human he'd find you while on a stroll n flirt ig lmao
⢠Tends to rush into things VERY fast (slowburn can happen tho) do not give him an idea he will go head first into it. Aka u can probably speedrun getting into a relationship w him lmao
⢠HE IS A VERY AFFECTIONNATE MAN!!! Wether you're in a relationship or not, he WILL be hugging you and holding your hand!!
⢠He's polyam, he already has a few lovers so yeh hope u don't mind lmao. You don't have to meet his other lovers but if u want to do it he'll try to organise that!
⢠SAME WITH HIS SON!! if you try to bond w Touma he'll explode /pos if ur an ass to his boy tho you won't exist anymore :>
⢠OH ALSO he loves talking and hearing others talk!!!! TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR INTERESTS!! HE'LL TELL YOU ABOUT HIS!!! (mostly talks abt his son tho bc he love him so much)
⢠He's very silly please joke with him
⢠ALSO trans men r welcomed w open arms (his son is trans so its obvi heheheh)
⢠Running out of ideas lmao he'd probably bring you on his strolls thru forests at night, also naps w u a lot <33
⢠OH YEAH EXPECT TO BE TEASED A LOT its his fav thing to do <33 but he also gets flustered easily so tease him back <3
ok enough cringe bye forever
#jk more cringe coming <3#this is the only account free from family and ppl from school/uni so OF COURSE i'm gonna start posting shit i dont want these mfs to see#kny antimony#demon slayer antimony#making tags for my ocs bc fuck it why not
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sobriety is a curse someone please send me vodka
#vodka water is the best drink btw#no that is not the ed speaking. haters just don't understand my need for adequate hydration#jk I'm never adequately hydrated#I think I am until I run a 10k or more lol#also not sufficiently fueled but whatevs#somewhat related but that's why I'm such a hater to the cringe proana blogs that lie about what they do#you are not running 15 miles a day without eating. like no question no debate#i have years of experience in those fields and it's also common sense lolz#anyways. i wanna play board games with my friends but idk how to get that going#ideal friend to ask sucks at sticking to plans#loml would do it but there's other issues with that#Sera
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brb doing blood magic on that old man
#fuck the maker i'm getting some#im jk you absolutely know that raymond is the blood mage of this relationship#i'll hit things or something#I always play mage or rogue but the arcane warrior path is *chefs kiss* for letting me beat ppls to a pulp#also yes i just referred to myself as in a relationship with afictional character what about it#(I am cringe but i am free)
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since i reblogged that "spotify stopped tracking so you can listen to cringe now" post i feel like i should admit that i'm a pretty big stray kids fan and i have been for quite awhile now
#i'm jk i actually don't think they're cringe and i openly listen to way cringier things#but i'm past the point in my life where i want to interact with the kind of fandom/fan content that comes with them#like on the one hand i would love to talk to someone about changbin but on the other hand#âstaysâ? photocards? i'm not gonna call myself that i don't want popstar trading cards i'm too old for this#skz
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it is fine and good to be dramatic Sometimes be edgy be cringe pee pee poo poo
#lol#lmao#jk#die#I've never had any true intention to kms but the desire to say when I'm even a little bit upset id so strong#I think it is sort of a self defense of the ego#I can say whatever cringe I want and then say that and I have made it clear to any listener that I already hate myself so they shouldn't bo#ther#when I say kms what I actually mean is that I know I'm cringe I know I am selfish I know that I am weak#mostly the cringe part#self awareness is a curse#I know claiming to self awareness is usually indicative of a lack of it but I am so tired#my inability to express the tone I want in writing makes it all sound so edgy but I guess that is how I read similar posts as well#I will never be viewed as what I truly am#I should just try projecting the best image I can#this posts just make me hate myself more
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Merry!Ex-mas.
18+ MDNI
22.k words synopsis: you get a notification about plane tickets you purchased about a trip you were excited for, only reason you're not excited at the remainder, is because you had planned the trip with your now ex. At the time you never thought you'd be spending December broken up. So, it felt like a great idea. not so much now. ex!jk x ex!femreader (fem anatomy.) exes to lovers use of 'yn' warnings: angst, fluff, smut: long-distance relationship, exes, second chance, miscommunication, b*tches is awkward, tension, one bed, forced proximity, Jungkook isn't crazy rich but he's got good money, i think he's an accountant, jk has that short ceo hair cut. reader has communication problem, jungkook's freaking green sweater needs it's own fanfic!, think are!you!sure jungkook. protective!jk, there's a creep who approaches reader as jungkook is off skiing, and whilst she's in the sauna(nothing bad happens.), sweet!wants!to!try!jk, jk has issues of not communicating too. they just can't seem to talk. avoiding stuff. teasing. touchy!jk, secret glances. jealousy, reader is very jealous,they're lying to themsleves, jungkook loves to take pictures especially of reader. hot tub jungkook who's looking up at you like you're a goddes. very needy kissing, boob sucking, dirty talking, oral(f!receiving.), handjob, cowgirl, protected!penetration, aftercare. hand kissing. [i don't know what else i need to add, let me know] as per usual, it was edited but if there are any errors, forgive me. A/N: this fic is honestly cause of that Jungkook green sweater I've never travelled to please don't come at me if anything is wrong. I very much world built some things. I've given written from top to bottom so don't except a part 2, unless maybe drabble requests. I wrote this in one week and i'm so proud i was able to write 22k words, in that time. though i was supposed to go up on the 25th[shhhhhh] A/N: i'm still learning how to write smut. so if you think the smut is cringe please don't tell me :) i don't wanna know. unless you want to help me improve it, and you do it kindly, i'd appreciate. likes, reblog, and all positive asks and comments are always appreciated. i hope you're happy with this one. [read under the cut]
You get the notification as you're scrolling through your phone. A remainder of sorts that you had been forgetting something. Cause you had been.
It loomed over you all week. The lingering feeling of remembering what you canât. You hated it. But now that you know itâs source you couldnât feel any worse.
Being the recipient of the message, youâre burdened with having to translate the message. Why do you have to do this? Broken up, having to text him feels like opening a can of worms. But the tickets are non-refundable, and it would be unfair for you to not inform him. You did both pay for them, Jungkook of course paying more because he was just too stubborn to split. he'd actually wanted to pay for the full thing but you were at odds with the idea. he settled eventually.
So, it would be unfair to not tell him. Right? Yes. But you donât want to believe it.
Even if how the hell are you going to remind your ex about the holiday trip you planned thinking youâd be together for; but in turn would celebrate separately. Before the notification of the trip.
To add on, now you have to open your chat. An action you dread to do; for your emotional health.
What are you actually going to say? You think, finger hovering over the keyboard. Something that wonât make you sound like youâve missed him, were thinking about him or even thinking about going on this trip with him. All which youâve been doing. Youâve succumb to the thoughts, only because you two broke up in October, still relatively early to just forget a 3-year relationship with someone you thought youâd marry.
Sigh.
You still havenât answered the question of how youâre even gonna bring it up. Will he even answer?
âshibalâ jimin laughs into the speaker, not helping you one bit. âyou two are ridiculous.â
You roll your eyes still waiting and hoping heâll say something sensible. Itâs all in vain. âHow the hell do you book a trip and break up just before. You couldnât wait?â He laughs and you just know heâs sat at his computer playing games, from his loud and unfocused speech.
âWe didnât freaking know weâd breakup.â You justify. âPlus, cause of the breakup we forgot. I forgot.â Your voice loses its strength at the end of the sentence, your mind slipping into a deep thought.
You havenât been able to remember anything of relevance since that day. Maybe only how to breath and live but youâd say your body takes full credit for that.
âHmm.â is all he says to you before screaming obscenities to someone in his game.
âJimin are you gonna be of any help or wh-â
âYou know what you should do?â
You want to believe his following statement will be of use, but you can never be certain.
âJust send itâ he groans from what you assume is an attack on him. Your brow raises. âSend him a screenshot of the notification. If he doesnât respond go on it on your own.â
âOr take me with youâ he whispers. If it came to it, would you even choose jimin to go with? Probably. Heâd help make it fun.
You sigh, still in the darkest of analysis. Itâs your best option what else could you say. So, you say your goodbye to jimin who is quick to go off to his game, without a second thought. Rude. Talking to him whilst heâs on his game is setting yourself up.
Back to having a staring contest with your phone. And after a long while of panic, thump fidgeting and dry eyes, you click on his contact (yes you still have it.) and just send the screenshot.
As you wait to make sure the picture is sent you catch a glimpse of the last text from your chat. You were avoiding slipping up and seeing it, but your eyes couldnât be helped.
Jungkook was the last to text.
Kookie<3: I miss you call me back.
Seeing the text makes your stomach churn. Makes your head spin with all the memories and emotions returning. You donât want to linger on it. Youâre quick to just sending the screenshot like jimin said, you only hope he doesnât ask too many questions. If he does respond. The little thought in your head surfaces. What if he wants nothing to do with you. What if youâre bothering him? You shouldnât have sent that text. But itâs too late now.
Youâre well aware his message was sent before you had broken up. The only reason you hadnât replied was because you couldnât. On the same day youâd called him back and told him how you didnât think youâd be able to do it anymore.
âMm?â he hums confused. You can hear it in his voice and it only makes you even more nervous to repeat.
âThis long-distance thing isnât working for us jungkook.â You bite you lower lip hoping to hide some of your emotions that threaten to ruin your speech. Your fingers fidget in the silence waiting for his response. But it never comes and for a moment you think heâs cut the call and youâve been talking to yourself. Thatâs when he sighs, showing you, heâs been listening but too shocked to speak.
You calling his full name, no nickname, strains at his heart. âAre you serious?â itâs calm, sad even. Of course heâs sad, youâre breaking up with him. Sad isnât even strong enough to describe what heâs feeling. Shock is just amongst them, maybe even a little anger. Youâve been going through a challenging period because of the difference in cities. But he never thought itâd come to this. Was it that bad?
âYeah.â Itâs weak defeated. You are, your whole relationship is.
Jungkook is awfully silent, heâs not sure why either. âIs there anything I can do?â heâs aware of the only solution available. But itâs not possible. Neither of your work will allow the other to move.
You shake your head like he can see it. but he doesnât need to see what your silence has already said.
After not much thought cause heâs not able to, he speaks. âIs this what you want?â his question only serves to add to your confusion.
âYou know itâs not but- âyou try to speak but the lump in your throat chokes you.
It hurts him that this is happening over a call. Wishes he couldâve spoken about it in person, cause thereâs more to it.
More that you havenât spoken about. Never have, and doubt you ever will or want to.
All this just makes the idea of this trip even more worrying. Thatâs if heâll want to go or even respond. You never got to know what he thought but you assume he has some sort of resentment for the way you ended things. You would too. Thatâs one of the things you feel guilty for.
Youâll say the way things ended was not ideal, and honestly it never made you feel good as you thought it would. It made you feel worse actually. But at least now you donât argue because you donât talk. Who are you kidding, you miss the arguments, something to remind he was there.
Guilt hovers but, you console yourself by saying that he probably wanted it too if he didnât try to fight for it. Which is unfair, but what else can you tell yourself as an excuse.
Your focus is now on your screen. Youâre about to exit the chat, but then those familiar popups of bubbles appear. Already?
The bubbles disappear and appear, which only serves to grow your anxiety. Is he about to rebuke you for texting him. Gosh, what the hell would you say after that? Heâs about to cuss you out. Suddenly your room feels too small to hold you and what youâre feeling.
But what pops up is even more anxiety inducing.
Kookie<3: Iâm in town. We should meet and talk tomorrow.
Why does he sound so professional? Why do you care. Oh- your mind, itâs spinning.
Heâs in town, when? Why didnât he tell you. This would be the first time you see him in a year since he moved. And he couldnât even just tell you he was in town. The reason to him being here is not unknown to you. Itâs the Christmas season and his parents do live in the same city as you. And just like you they were not happy about theyâre son moving so far away. But nothing was stopping jungkook. Nothing.
Youâre probably not important to him anymore but, couldnât he have just said, hi. Iâm in town. How long has he even been here for? You never thought heâd return to the city even for the holidays.
You shake the thoughts out of your head. You canât be over thinking this.
We?......meet?.....talk?.....TOMORROW!             Â
Tomorrow couldnât come any faster (not that you were excited for it.). Itâs almost as though it wants you and jungkook to meet.
You both agreed to meet at one of the small restaurants near your place. One you two frequented together, so it holds so much for you. Which only made you more anxious on your way.
When you walked in your eyes unconsciously moved to the table you and jungkook loved to seat at. It was good distance from the kitchen so your food could reach you quicker, and far from others so that jungkook could lean in and say the nastiest thing on earth. It always made you blush even though youâd swat at him. You spot jungkook sat where he usually sat. Coat taken off and hanged on his chair.
 âHey.â You choke out smiling politely as you reach the table and take off your coat, the inside of the restaurant too warm to be comfortable with it on.
You take a sit and allow your body to get accustomed to the environment. And jungkook.
Heâs quick to respond to your greeting just as awkward.
When youâre settled you finally get a chance to see just how much heâs changed in a year. The warm light from the ceiling softens his features which would normally be sharp in the dim lights of your bedroom. His hair is cut short. Last time you saw him it was neck length, but now itâs significantly short. Makes him look professional, mature. You like it, really like it. you wish you could just reach over and touch it, itâd probably be just as soft as you remember it and smell like lavender. You notice how he has it styled and gelled back so you doubt heâd be happy with you running your hands in it.
Jungkook spent an ungodly amount of time trying to get it to look like this, which he doesnât think is perfect enough, but he was running out of time. Something about this meeting had him wanting to go out. He just hopes you like it. he remembers you last saw it when it was longer. It was a big cut, but after your breakup, he felt like giving up the length, considering your hands loved to live in his hair.
You sit hand in lap waiting for your mouth to catch up with how fast your brain is working. Though if you did speak what your brain was thinking, youâd embarrass yourself.
âWe should order first.â He says rolling up the sleeves of his navy-blue denim shirt. The action reminding of the inks on his arm. A detail that adds to how attractive he is already. Youâre really hating yourself for your thoughts. In your defence you havenât seen him in the flesh for a year. âWhat do you wanna get?â he picks up his menu and you do too, stuttering in your movement. He seems calmer than you right now.
But the only thing is that heâs shitting himself inside. when he was sat before you came, his heart dropped every time he heard the door bells chime. Every time he turned it wasnât you. Only increasing his nervousness. Maybe he was a little to forward with his message. You havenât seen each other in a while and itâd probably be overwhelming, especially with a certain elephant in the room. He wouldâve definitely understood if you didnât want to show. On the chime of the door that followed his thoughts, he didnât turn, only for it to be you. In your full glory, making him fidget with his phone more. Which he put aside immediately you sat down.
Clearing your throat you speak, âsomething soup-y. Todayâs a little cold.â And you donât feel like throwing up what you eat.
Jungkook agrees and his red nose is evidence of that. Cute, you think.
After your orders are taken you turn back to silence. What could you probably say right now? You can feel the distance between you emotionally. And you hate how this is how you are after not seeing each other for a year. Before breaking up you thought of the many ways, youâd hug him once you got to see him. You were definitely delusional over how serious your distance was. Really wanting to believe it wouldnât be a problem; until it became one, and you just couldnât do it anymore.
You donât know how to behave right now.
âSo, when did you get back?â you settle on a soft and casual tone.
âJust yesterday.â He speaks sounding a little hesitant. After not knowing where to look you decide to just look at one thing. The table.
After beats of silence, you continue. Can your food come any faster? âyouâre staying with your parents?â
âYeah.â
You lived together, in your used to be shared apartment before he decided to move. So, his only option was to live with his parents for the mean time. He assumed you wouldnât want or even let him live with you. And it would be fair, you arenât together anymore.
âIâm Sure they were shocked to see how much youâve change.â Cause you are. You havenât seen his parents in the same time that he hasnât seen them.
âIt was a surprise drop in so Iâm sure they wereâ he says with weak chuckle. He bites into his lip before heâs looking at you again, but you donât stare at him. Itâs only when you realize his stare that you finally face him. âHow have you been? You look well.â Heâs dreading himself right now for not being able to speak to someone who has been, for 3 years, the only person he could speak to.
You do look good, and he canât take his mind off it. the camera has not been doing you justice. Your skin looks brighter and you generally are just glowing. Gosh he missed looking at you. The way small dainty jewellery serves to compliment your outfit. Your hair done in a way you like, and he loves.
âI try.â You smile. Every chance you get you take a glace at his lip piercing. Youâd forgotten just how it made him even the more--. âYou look well too. Howâs the job going?â
He sucks in a breath, showing visible stress at the thought of his job. âitâs going okay. Easiest way to put it.â he chuckles, awkwardly. You smile, awkwardly too. âI missed it here though, so much stuff I left behind.â
You just hum, nodding. Avoiding how his eyes glancing over you, just for a second as he was looking for where to keep his gaze whilst speaking.
âBut Iâm sure youâre having fun that side.â That side. He can hear the strength you put on the words. Instead of fiddling on your lap you decide to fold your arms on your chest. Finding it appropriate for the feelings that are sneaking in.
âYou can say that, but thereâs just something that feels empty yâknow.â You do know, but you both choose to leave the conversation implicit.
And right on time, your food arrives saving you from saying anything. What the heck would you say when you canât even think.
You two are soon digging into your food. Jungkook in his kimchi jjigae and you in yours.
âI missed this- mmm.â He hums making that little angry face he makes when he likes food. You laugh, a little to loud at that causing him to look up at you. You drop your smile.
âMrs Kim always asks me about you when I come here.â 6 slices of chopped spring onion garnish you havenât eaten, yet.
He leans back in his chair, unintentionally watching you eat.
He turns his head towards the kitchen where the lady in question usually spends her time. âWhere is she anyways?â heâs back to digging into his food. the steam from the food warming his cold nose.
âsheâs visiting sung Hoon in the US.â You inform him, taking in how relaxed youâve become.
He nods at the info, âAhh- she finally got to got to the US?â he smiles. He remembers how she would come to the table; sheâd complain that her son doesnât want her to visit, which was not the case. But being the dramatic lady she is, she would think that. â âm sure she was so excited.â
âno one could hear the end of it.â
He chuckles and you find yourself laughing too. But as much as youâre seemingly getting comfortable (though not wholly.) silence finds a way to wrap itâs long, cold and slimy finger around you two.
After youâre done eating your meals in silence, jungkook thinks itâs time to discuss the reason youâre even meeting. Cause you have nothing more to talk about.
âwhatâs the plan for the trip?â he shifts in his seat. âAssuming youâd want to go.â He doubts.
You take a deep breath before speaking, looking over at the whole scene of the restaurant. âI donât know, weâd leave on Thursday. Assuming youâd want to go too.â You would want to go, thatâs why you booked the trip. Itâs only your situation that makes it awkward.
âDo you?â his question comes out fast and sudden and he regrets how quick it came out.
âMm?â you mutter like you couldnât hear what he said.
He clarifies choosing to speak more calmly and composed. âDo you want to go?â
The question takes you aback as though you hadnât been asking yourself the same thing.
Reaching to play with the little gem on your necklace you stutter out. âI-I mean- yeah we spent money on it.â you shrug your shoulders as if youâre unconsciously saying otherwise, but really, youâre just trying to keep your statement open. In case he doesnât want to go, and youâre left embarrassed with an extra ticket.
Jungkook instead takes your action as you probably not wanting to go. âI get it if you donât. Itâs a weird situation.â His hands move to touching his hair.
You trying to jump in but end up speaking a little too fast. âNo, I do. Plus, I hate wasting money.â You do hate wasting money, truly. And it is just that and the fact that you would love a trip right now, to de-stress.
âBut do you want to go with me?â that churning feeling in your stomach is returning, and youâve just eaten which makes it all the much better.
Biting down on your lip and releasing it you say, âI mean I wouldnât want to go on my own.â You hate how you feel your throat choking up. âWho else would I go with?â you awkwardly joke. There are some people youâd go with. But you planned this trip with jungkook and he paid the much for the tickets. So, itâs only fair to go with him. If he wants to.
He skips your question, not in bad taste. itâd be weird for you to go on a trip you planned with him with someone else. Maybe he did think of it, that maybe youâd enjoy it more if you werenât with him. But then he thought it through. Shit doesnât have to be awkward unless you both make it. so, you can enjoy this trip if you just agree to enjoy it. âI donât mind going with you, but I donât want you to feel forced to have me there.â
âI have no problem with you, jungkook.â You saying his name even though itâs not the pet name he enjoys feels like a warm touch to him. âI just want to know if you wanna go.â You find it in you to ask.
âI donât mind it at all.â He says, relieving you of your fears.
He sighs. After he silence speaks. âI canât believe I forgot about it. I was so excited for it too.â he reminiscing on the day. It was such a good idea. Is a good idea, if you just agree to enjoy it.
âSo? Itâs settled right?â You sit up grabbing your stuff and preparing to leave. Jungkookâs smile falls realizing that the moment is ending. But he will see you soon still.
âYeah.â He prepares to leave too.
âWe leave Thursday, I guess. Weâll stay in touch.â
And thatâs it, your conversation ends with you managing to avoid the larger topic at hand. Itâs like a game.
You throw your clothes in haphazardly. Youâre in a panic, which is not necessary cause you have enough time, the whole day to be precise. Your flightâs tomorrow. But the whole airport thing has always found a way to make you panic.
You grab some essentials, but in frustration. Maybe you just want to get it over with. The packing, not the trip. Honestly it feels like itâs already started. Is this how youâre going to be.
As you search through your closet you land on a sweater, one you remember too well. Itâs green colour and fluffy soft texture makes it the warmest thing you own. A very memorable sweater, for the warmth it brought you and its origin. You can still smell him on it. You dread packing it and resort to shoving it further in your closet. Youâll think about it.
You stare at your zipped up suitcase for a bit before your eyes gloss over to your phone that buzzes on your bed. For a split second you wonder if itâs jungkook. Could he have changed his mind. you sigh relived when you see itâs just jimin.
Who chooses to say nothing of value and just tease you. âHonestly why do I tell him these things.â You throw your phone on your bed.
Jungkook stands over his already packed suitcase. He just has to zip it closed and seal this trip. He sighs rubbing his lower lip. Before you two broke up he had so much planned for this trip. So much he wanted to say and do. But it's different now and itâd be weird and wrong to say those things. Not before talking of course.
Is he looking forward to this trip? Yes-wait- maybe. The trip in itself is fine, a great and good idea and opportunity to enjoy a holiday and relax. But your presence entails something more something he has to deal with (in a responsible and good way) and that he's been running away from.
 "You're excited huh?" his mother smiles leaning against his door frame, watching. He's not sure what about his facial expression, body language or general demeanour would make her think that he's excited. Itâs not like heâs dreading or regretting it. itâs more like excitement is the last thing heâs feeling cause of all heâs thinking of.
He doesn't say anything before she's speaking again.
"You need this trip. you've been so busy." He has. Too much at that. So much that he forgot you two had even broken up and was about to go to your place first when he arrived. Heâd been so excited to surprise you, then it dawned on him. His tires were quick to turning. His thoughts are cut short by his mother. "it'll help you spend more time with yn."
"I guess." he replies unenthusiastically. Though itâs the same idea theyâre both thinking of it in a different context. Something that his mother doesnât know yet.
He doesn't stare at where she stands only at his suitcase analysing what he's packed and what the heck is actually going on. "Plus, it would be a perfect place to propose." She enthuses, joyous at the thought. He seems to have slightly forgotten about that detail too.
 When you were planning the trip, he made a plan to propose to you on it. It honestly is the perfect place to and he felt like it was the right time. Of course, you'd be arguing but it wasn't something that was holding back your relationship. Plus, he thought you'd talked it out well enough. So, he spent his free time after planning the trip, shopping for rings and looking proposal ideas and even asked some of his colleagues for advice. Itâd be a trip where you got to spend some time after being away for so long.
But that's when you called and honestly kicked him in the balls. Too confused he just went along with it.
"Switzerland is such a good choice, you kids are so good at these things." She says probably imaging herself there too. Itâs not long before his eyes are staring at the black velvet box on his dressing table, and his head is spinning all over again. He knows how excited she gets about this and she wonât stop. âYou could take a walk and then pull out the Ring with those mountains in the back and-"
"Eomma!" His deep voice stops her, not harshly but whiny. Not telling his parents about the breakup is honestly the most overwhelming thing because of how his mother adores you and finds a way to bring you up in every conversation. she could go on but the tired look on her son's face makes her stop. She wants to pry on why he looks more drained that ecstatic but she chooses against it.
âIs something wrong?â
He realizes just how carried away heâs getting with his emotions. He shakes his head. âno. Iâm just stressed.â He finally looks up at her to give a smile that doesnât reach his eyes but she returns.
"Sorry, you know how I get carried away. I'm sure you have your own plan let me not stress you."
She leaves and he sighs
No. He has no plan of his own. He has no plan at all.
Your suitcase handle is firmly clutched into your hand as you walk into the airport.
Your eyes scan the crowd. Every face. Each bag too, because you know which one he'd probably be carrying with him. Seeing it again is gonna be triggering cause the last time you saw it was the last time you saw him off.
You and jungkook agreed to come separately and since his parents lived closer to the airport he'd be here first and wait for you by security. But now that you're there you can't see him. Maybe he's a little late but why wouldn't he tell you.
You told him you had just arrived but he hasn't even seen that message. Has he changed his mind? is the first thing that pops up in your head. If he has that's a shitty way to do it. Just ghost you?
So, you pull out your phone to call him. âPick up." You mutter under your breath.
No answer.
You feel stupid. It honestly feels like you're on a Lifetime show or even worse TLC.
Your annoyance bubbles over as you glance around the busy security area. "Where is he?" you ask yourself.
 Though you think he has, you doubt jungkook would just ghost you. It's not what you know him to be. You tap your foot impatiently and try to call him again. Still nothing. Your heart finally relaxes when you spot him already walking to you. "Seriously?" You say a little upset when he finally reaches. "Why didn't you answer your phone?"
"Oh. I didn't hear it." He says pulling it out of his pocket. "Must be on silent. Iâm sorry." He looks at you genuinely so. And you canât bring yourself to be as mad as you want to be. Itâs not a big deal, heâs here now.
âitâs okay, we should get going, weâre almost late.â You say frustrated with how traffic delayed your arrival. Jungkook just hums agreeing and surprising you by taking you suitcase. Youâd tell him itâs fine and you can manage but heâs already walking ahead of you. Probably not wanting to hear it.
A tense silence stretches between you two as you wait to board your plane. Sitting side by side has never felt so awkward, like the space between you is miles wide. You scroll through your phone, pretending to be so into it. You donât notice Jungkook stealing occasional glances at you. Or rather, at the sweater youâre wearingâthe one he gave you (more like you took.) just before he moved to another town. The green complimenting your skin. He loves how it just melts to fit you. Heâs glad to know that youâre warm, heâs aware of how incredibly warm it is.
He wonders if youâre wearing it deliberately, or if itâs just because itâs the warmest thing you own, and todayâs even colder than yesterday. Probably no meaning behind it. At least, thatâs what he tells himself. Though itâs not enough to stop him from developing a smile on his face, one he covers with his hand.
The low hum of voices and the faint crackle of the airport announcements fill the silence. Someone walks past, dragging a squeaky suitcase, the airport noises the only thing between the two of you.
âI know this is awkward.â He starts randomly, at first doubting he was talking to you but then you move your attention to him, when you realize itâs only you he can be talking to. Itâs not like you were looking at anything on your phone. âI want us to enjoy it. I want you to enjoy it.â
âI want you to enjoy it too.â You find yourself speaking before your brain can process.
He smiles and turns to meet your eyes. All of a sudden, he feels so close. âSo can we just pretend.â His eyes donât move, if possible, they stare even deeper into yours. Yours donât move as well. âPretend like everythingâs okay.â He speaks low as if he doesnât want others around to hear. âAgree?â
You havenât said much, instead just let him speak. âAgreed.â
You donât mind pretending. Youâve been pretending youâre okay all this time, so why canât you do it now.
-
You watch Jungkook sliding the bags into the overhead storage above your seats. He notices you approaching and nods for you to have the window seat.
âYou sure?â you ask only because he called dibs when you planned the trip that heâd be getting the window seat.
He nods. âYeah. I know you like it more than I do.â You do. He only called dibs because he was trying to âone upâ you like everythingâs a game.
You squeeze passed him get comfortable in your seat and heâs soon sitting next to you. Youâre glad itâs just two seats.
You sit in silence for most of the flight, each pretending to be too absorbed in your own activities to notice the other. Jungkook watches you out of the corner of his eye as you scroll through your phone, then switch to reading a book. This trip canât be that bad, you tell yourself. Of course, you two havenât talked about your breakup, but it doesnât have to come up. Youâll just enjoy the weekend and go back to normal, like he saidâpretend---if either of you even knows what that means.
What are the boundaries of pretending.
At some point, you shift in your seat, leaning against him, your head resting on his shoulder. Youâre asleep, of course, but Jungkook glances down at you, momentarily startled. He considers waking you but decides against it. Instead, he leans back slightly, letting you stay there.
As the plane hums softly and moves through the sky, Jungkook canât help but wonder if this trip could be his chance to fix things. How does he want it to happen? Does he even know? All he knows it that you do eventually have to talk about things. Do you even want to talk about it, because you seem to be avoiding it.
But thereâs only so much avoiding you can do.
As soon as the plane lands, you stretch in your seat, surprised you managed to sleep for that long. Glancing at Jungkook, you watch as he pulls the luggage from the overhead bin. He looks like he didnât get any sleep at all, you had been sleeping on his shoulder for most of the time. You exchange a brief lookâjust acknowledging each other and your present momentâbefore heading off the plane
The crisp Swiss air hits you as you step outside the terminal, and you follow Jungkook as he gets into a cab and it drives confidently toward a car rental area, which youâre confused about but donât ask. Jungkook picks up keys from the reception and you walk through the parkin lot looking for what you donât know. Youâre just following. You stare at him puzzled as he dangles the keys. Heâs been quiet, and you hadnât even expected to rent a car. Public transport seemed like the plan, but now that you think about it, you remember how Jungkook feels about it.
âYou rented a car?â you raise a brow.
He nods, âyeah, itâd be easier. Thought youâd approve.â
He catches a glance of your face, like youâre trying to figure something out, but canât.
âHmm.â You only hum.
âYou look cute when youâre confusedâ. He takes you by surprise. âCome on.â He says walking and not letting you process his words. You just try to shake them out of your head.
You donât admit it, but you're impressed. He thought ahead. And youâre honestly glad he didâsomething you feel heâs been lacking the past year.
Once heâs done packing the luggage into the car, he closes the trunk and slides into the driverâs seat. Youâre not sure why youâre shocked to find out itâs a Mercedes-benz g63 amg. Youâd always known he had an obsession with luxury cars, especially ones like this. The fact that his job pays so well certainly helps, you guess moving out of town mustâve been worth it.
The car is great-- so comfortable, and the heater works perfectly, keeping you warm against the cold.
As Jungkook adjusts the mirrors, you scroll through your contacts, trying to figure out what to call the person you booked the cabin with, âwhat do I call them a host?â You mutter under your breath before dialling the number.
Jungkook glances at you as you speak to the host in quick tones. "Got it, thanks," you say, giving a quick wave of your phone toward Jungkook. With the directions noted you can now get to moving.
"Okay, so we head north, then take-â
âNorth?" Jungkook interrupts, starting the engine. "Are you sure it's not west or whatever?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
You glare at him. He glances at one map and thinks he knows his way around Switzerland.
"I just talked to the guy," you say flatly.
Jungkook smirks, recalling a past trip. "Remember last time we travelled, and we ended up on a dead-end street?" he says with a cheeky smile on his face. heâs teasing you.
You roll your eyes at the memory. You had been driving through the outskirts, and your GPS got wonky, causing you to go down a deserted road.
âIf youâd listened to me, we wouldnât have gotten lost,â you reply.
You stop bickering, finally following the GPS. Jungkook decides to follow the directions, and the tension eases as you leave the city behind.
The atmosphere shifts, replaced by a sense of awe at the breathtaking scenery. Low-capped mountains stretch into the horizon, Swiss chalets dot the landscape, and the sun reflects off the lakes. Youâre glad you arrived during the day; cause nighttime would not have done the view justice.
You watch out the window, your voice filled with awe. "Oh my gosh, it's so beautiful." Jungkook glances at your direction before returning his attention to the road. "Yeah, it is," he agrees, equally mesmerized by the view.î
"Can you grab my camera from the back?" he askes. Recalling his passion for photography, you canât be surprised he has it with him.
You pull out the camera from his bag, noticing itâs larger and more expensive looking than the one you had gifted him. "Do you still have your other one?" youâre curious.
He knows what youâre hinting to. "It fell in water during a fishing trip with my team, but I'm getting it fixed."
âDo you still have the pictures.â Youâd hate to lose them, even though they are null and void now, you still like how happy you looked in them.
âYeah. Theyâre in my SD.â He informs you and youâre glad.
You fumble with the new camera, struggling to operate its buttons, he notices. "There's a button just there," he directs. Though you arenât much of a photographer, you manage to snap some decent shots of the scene. You take a lot to make sure you have options.
Feeling playful, you turn the camera to jungkook and snap a pic of him. You had always admired his model-like features and often joked he should pursue modelling instead of his current path, which kept him 218 miles away. But now you realize modelling would only take him even farther.
He never agreed to the idea but never argued either. He preferred to appreciate beauty rather than be the centre of attention.
"Did you just take a picture of me?" he asks, a hint of surprise in his voice.
"Yeah, just one," you reply.
He doesnât respond, leaving you to wonder what heâs thinking. Is he upset? Did you cross a pretending line?
"Wanna stop and take pictures," he grins, "yâknow for your Instagram."
Itâs not a bad idea, but you donât want to be late and have the host waiting for too long.
"We won't be long." he looks over to see if youâre considering. He smiles when sees that you are. You don't post much on Instagram, and he knows that. But it wouldn't hurt to have some pictures from this trip.
"Let's be quick," you accept.
He pulls over to the side of the road and when youâre out heâs approaching you to take the camera. "Let me take some of you first," you insist. He isnât so keen on it though.
"Just a few," you whine dodging him trying to take it from your hands.
"We're supposed to be quick." He reminds you. "And you know I'm not a fan of pictures of me."
 You not wanting to bicker. You hand it over to him. "But I will take pictures of you eventually," itâs a promise.
You quickly get posing on a spot you like, and he snaps several pictures. Some you were prepared for, while others were candid of you looking up a bird flying over, like youâve never seen a bird before. or just in awe of the scene behind. Why do the birds seem so majestic here?
Jungkook smiles as he continues to take photos, forgetting the time. "I think that's enough. We're going to be late," you say, running out of poses to do.
You start walking to the car and he snaps one more picture of the scene before getting back and starting the car. Whilst adjusting to the warmth he hands you the camera.
"These are so pretty," you bulge your eyes out at how good jungkook is at taking pictures. You can definitely see the difference. Jungkook canât help but feel a sense of pride. You scroll through the camera, admiring more pictures.
Then you scroll a little too far and notice a series of photos featuring a friendâsomeone he seems to be close to. In one, she leans on his shoulder, a gesture that causes some type of discomfort or irritation. You couldnât be sure, youâre too busy scrolling. She smiles too hard, you judge.
gosh you're pathetic. Why are you acting like this. The man is not your boyfriend he can do whatever. The statement causes an unwanted sour taste to form over your taste buds.
You continue to scroll, analysing the photos, each one deepening your insecurities.
"Careful, you're gonna damage the buttons," Jungkook jokes when he notices your rushed movement. He wonders what has you that way.
When he speaks, youâre brought back to reality. Though youâre brought back with an attitude. You switch off the device and lay it back where you found it, sitting back down with a scowl on your face and jungkook wonders the cause.
You had been fine just a moment ago. He doesnât say anything and focuses fully on the road ahead. The silent drive to the cabin feels anything but aesthetic.
You sigh as the car slows, leaving behind the snow-covered path. When you approach the cabin, itâs instantly recognizable from the photo. At least you werenât lost or scammed. The place looks serene. Itâs blanketed in snow. Itâs not like those huge family ones. Itâs small just to fit you and jungkook. Youâd have no money to buy anything or activities if you booked those larger ones. And theyâre unnecessary cause itâs just the two of you.
Jungkook parks the car, and as you both step out, the awkwardness thatâs shadowed the trip returns. It had been there from the beginning, lingering beneath exchanges and strained silences. Brief moments, like taking pictures earlier, had been relieving, but even that had soured quickly. Now, neither of you had much to say.
The cabinâs host, a kind older man with a thick Swiss accent, greets you warmly, showing you around the cozy interior and pointing out the back patio before leaving. Once alone, you both quietly bring in the luggage. The silence is deafening, broken only by the crunch of snow you step on.
Due to your irritation that some how still lingered you step a little too hard on the icy ground, and in an instant, your foot slips. You land awkwardly in a mix of snow and dirt, the impact cushioned but still hurting.
âAre you okay?â Jungkook calls, his voice tinged with concern and amusement. Heâd drop the luggage to come check on you if you hadnât brushed him away with your hand.
Still irritated, now cause of the fall, you dust yourself off and move yourself inside. You drop the luggage in bedroom and start taking off your sweater, only to have Jungkook walk in moments later.
âOne bed,â he states, looking at the large, centred piece of furniture. âLooks comfy.â You seem to have forgotten the cabin was loverâs themed, so it did only have one bed. The host had asked you if it was a problem when he saw the look on your face but you just brushed it away at you being tired.
You glance at the bed, then at him. âYeah. Guess youâll have to take the couch,â you joke, though your tone comes out flatter than intended.
âNope.â He flops onto the bed, which creaks under his weight, making him pause to check if itâs broken. When it holds, he relaxes. âIâm sleeping right here.â
You sigh, deciding itâs not worth arguing. Youâve shared a bed beforeâit shouldnât be a big deal so many times at that. But those times are not now and you have to deal with your new circumstance.
âIâm gonna take a shower,â you announce, expecting him to leave the room. Instead, he sprawls comfortably on the bed.
âKnock yourself out,â he replies casually.
Groaning, you grab your toiletries and head to the bathroom. The hot water feels like a gift, relaxing your tense muscles. If only the whole trip could feel this peaceful.
When you return, Jungkook is gone, though his shoes by the door confirm he hasnât gone far. You search through your suitcase for a sweater, only to realize you packed just one sweaterâthe one now wet and dirty. Frustration bubbles as you grab a thin, long-sleeved shirt. Itâll have to do, though you doubt itâll keep you warm in tomorrowâs outdoor activities.
Meanwhile, Jungkook in the kitchen has immersed himself in exploring the layout of it. whilst on his expedition his attention drifts to a tiny blue bird minding its business outside the window. He leans into it but carefully not to scare it away. Thankfully it doesnât seem to find him a bother. âGot any advice for me?â he murmurs, taking a peek behind him. The bird doesnât react, oblivious to his internal conflict. Heâs unsureâabout you, about himself, about what this trip is supposed to accomplish.
When you enter the kitchen and done talking to his new friend who doesnât present him with anything viable but his company, heâs quick to point out the lack of groceries. âWe should go shopping. Itâs on your itinerary, right?â he teases lightly.
You nod, unsurprised he remembers. Youâd always been the planner, the one who thought of everything. Maybe thatâs why the breakup hurt so muchâit came so suddenly, leaving no time to plan how to feel or move on.
As heâs about to suggest leaving immediately, he notices you rubbing your arms. âArenât you cold?â he asks, gesturing to your thin shirt.
âIâm fine,â you reply dismissively, though you clearly arenât.
âPut on a sweater before you get sick,â he insists. His boyfriend instincts linger, even now.
You hesitate but eventually admit, âI forgot to pack an extra one.â The way how stares at you is so embarrassing for you.
Jungkook chuckles softly, though not unkindly. âOf course you did.â You roll your eyes. He moves to grab a sweater from his suitcase and hands it to you. âHere. Borrow this.â
You take it, the faint scent of his cologne that seems to be on everything he wears no matter how much he washes, invaded your senses. âThanks,â you say quietly, slipping it on and hoping not to ruin this one too.
By the time you return from the store, exhaustion settles in. You both sit in the living room, cups of hot cocoa in hand. Jungkook flips through the channels while you sit quietly, the warmth of his sweater and the fire calming you.
âYouâve made a lot of friends in Jeju,â you say suddenly, your tone sharper than intended.
Jungkook pauses, confused. âWhat friends?â
âColleagues, maybe? Customers? I saw the pictures on your camera,â you admit, staring into your cup instead of at him.
He leans back, waiting. He knows what youâre referring to and could explain that the woman in the photos was a client a little too excited and touchy about her wedding rehearsal photos, and had wanted photos with him. But he wants you to ask.
Instead, the silence stretches, filled with unspoken questionsâquestions about Jeju, the photos, the breakup, and even yourself. You sigh, pushing them aside.
âis there something you wanna ask?â
âThereâs nothing I want to ask,â you finally say, though the bitterness in your voice betrays the truth.
Jungkook laughs softly, shaking his head. âI thought we agreed on pretending.â His voice is still soft.
âI know. Just donât want you pretending if youâve got other things going on.â
Jungkook chuckles taking a sip of his cocoa.â Iâm good.â
âIâm good too.â
âGood.â
You watch him stand a sly smirk adoring his face. âletâs go back to pretending now, okay?â he says looking at you.
You mumble a sure and he walks off. Probably to sleep.
Sleeping the same bed is even more awkward. After spending some minutes youâd decide you were too tired to be awake, you came the bedroom.
Jungkook was still awake staring at his phone, and for some reason shirtless. He likes to sleep shirtless and the tension between you two isnât going to stop him.
Jungkook tries to keep his eyes to himself as you change into your pajamas. You didnât want to be childish so you just changed right there. Itâs nothing heâs never seen before. He wonât act like the action doesnât cause a rise in memories and he holds himself to not thinking further. Soon youâre crawling into your side and laying facing away from him. Jungkook chooses to lie on his back, the bed big enough for you to keep your distance. He turns off the lights but your eyes remain open staring into the dark.
As the night continues, none of you are able to fall asleep. Jungkook tries to make himself comfortable, his shifting cause you to think he might be moving closer, but he doesnât. why do you feel sad. Your brain is used to being close to him and him holding you in situations like this. And he too is used to wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer into him. But thereâs none of that.
âI canât fucking sleep.â he groans frustratedly sitting up. He runs his hands in his hair. He looks over at you thinking youâre asleep, the darkness preventing him from actually knowing. Heâs jealous at the idea of you being able to sleep, but when your frustrated voice sounds, heâs relieved. Relieved that heâs not the only not able to sleep.
âSame.â You mutter remaining on your side.
Jungkook huffs and puffs contemplating on asking what heâd been debating. Your bodies are probably used to sleeping closer to each other, so maybe thatâsâ why itâs hard. You surely wonât mind if it means you get to sleep right?
He looks over to you and how far you seem from. He doesnât like, hates the reality of it. âCan I sleep closer to you.â His words and the fact that he actually said takes you aback. You freeze. Your silence is killing him, he shouldnât have said it. he should take it back, wellâbut heâs already sai-
âOkay.â Okay? Well, that was easy, he thought youâd be looking at him weird. but no, you just lay on your side waiting for him.
When he said closer you never thought he meant this close. Youâre the closest you can be. But you donât mind it, it actually brings you that giddy feeling, like itâs your first time cuddling. You realize just how much you missed it. He nuzzles his face in your neck and this is when heâd kiss your shoulder and neck but he doesnât and the detail is gravely missed. He has to hold himself from not doing it.
âWeâre going to move to the middle of the bed, darling.â Itâs only then that you realize how much at the edge you were. You shuffle yourselves and move into the center and get comfortable in the position.
âAre you comfortable?â
So much you hate to say it. You canât even bring yourself to be angry. ây-yeah.â You can barely respond coherently with how his voice is so close sending goosebumps all over you.
âCan I put my around you? Itâs the only place I can put it.â he tries to explain, but you were actually hoping for it.
You nod for him to go ahead and he wraps his arm around you. Honestly, he shouldâve just asked if he could cuddle you, because this is basically what youâre doing. He didnât have to mask it; youâd have said yes either way. He doesnât know that though.
Now that youâre close to him and him to you, you both weirdly fall asleep, very quickly at that.
First thing on your itinerary was to visit the Lindt home of chocolate youâd been drooling at the thought of it since you planned this trip. It would honestly be a crime to visit Switzerland and not visit the Lindt factory. Being a lover of chocolate no activity on your list will be as good as this.
âI donât know why they have us putting our bags away.â Jungkook whines taking off his jacket, as required and placing it in a locker. âHow am I supposed to carry my chocolate.â His speech is almost childlike. You just chuckle.
 â Thatâs why they do it.â You inform him, with a soft smile and start to walk ahead of him. Jungkook walks behind you, watching how you look around with wonder.
Did he mention how good he feels right now. The sleep he had last night was the best heâs had in a while. And it only serves to tell him how much heâs missed your presence. Just you as a whole. Being away from you for so long has had an effect on him too. Itâs only now, that heâs not able to do all the things he used to do, that he realizes how much heâs missed it. And how much you mean to him.
âOh my gosh.â Jungkook watches how you take in the aroma of chocolate. It invades his senses and when youâre turning around to check on him, heâs nodding. You want him to enjoy this just as you are.
You gasp and itâs when you spot the huge chocolate fountain that you pull Jungkookâs attention to it by his arm. âitâs so fucking huge.â You say still holding onto him.
âthatâs what she said.â
You roll your eyes. âGrow up.â You both laugh. and itâs when youâre lost in laughter and admiring the fountain that jungkook looks down to see you still holding his arm. So, in a swift action of no thought, all instinct he moves to hold your hand.
Your head sharply moves to look at him then at his hand holding yours and then back up at him. Heâs got this innocent smile on his face and you canât help but warm up into his hold. You donât mind the action of holding hands but you fear what it implies. Is he for real or still pretending?
For the first minutes you stay holding hands, until jungkook is pulling away to grab his camera. You rub you hands together to try and regain your sense of independence. What the heck are you doing, holding hands? This pretending thing Is a good idea, but itâs definitely messing with you in some way. All ways. Heâs giving you things that youâve been craving. The cuddle at night, the holding hands, youâve missed it all. But you donât know where itâs coming from, does he miss you too or is he pretending. To think of it you never really discussed what type of pretending youâre doing. Are you pretending to still be together or are you pretending to be good friends. Gosh this is so stressful. And confusing. You wonder if heâs stressing like you are. He seems calm. Heâs handling this so well.
âWaitâI need a picture of you. Stand still.â He points the camera to you and youâre quick to turning your head away.
âitâs fine you donât need to-â snap.
He doesnât give you the time to object and just snaps. âJungkook stop taking pictures of me.â He doesnât. youâre embarrassed to be doing this in public. But he seems thrilled. âOkay wait-â he doesnât so you choose to reaching for the Lense. But jungkook doesnât mind filling his storage with pictures of your palm. âKook, wait.â
âKook?â he questions smiling. You realize your mistake. Honestly you didnât mean to call him that, it just came out naturally for you to get him to stop. And it worked. Though now it shifts the air.
You groan. âI didnât mean it like that.â You roll your eyes. You donât even know what youâre saying.
He doesnât linger on it more, which honestly helps your case. The blush on your face is deserving of a picture. Snap.
âStop that before I revoke your privileges.â You threaten. He doesnât want that.
He raises his hands in surrender. âwonât do it again.â
You ignore him and turn to keep walking.
âCan take more later though?â
You donât answer, but he takes it as a yes. Youâve always been his muse, itâs not gonna stop now. His camara is now getting some action.
This place is actually so beautiful, smells amazing too. The pictures you saw did not do it justice.
âLook at the strawberries, the nuts. AhâIâm in heaven.â
Jungkook smiles as he watches enjoy and pointing for him to look at the large container, of everything that goes well with chocolate. Heâs really just happy that youâre including him, by telling him how much you freaking love this place or how you want to stay here forever. It makes him feel like things arenât all that bad between the two of you and it can be fixed.
âWhy are you looking at me like that.â You narrow your eyes at him. Gosh he forgot how long he was looking for. Youâd been telling him something but he zoned out.
âOh-nothing.â He clears his throat.
You just brush it off, cause if you linger on it, youâll melt. Jungkook looking at you has been a weakness for you, thereâs just something about him focusing on you and having only you in sight. âAnyway, I was saying try this.â
He doesnât regain his consciousness before youâre bringing a spoon full of chocolate to his lips. he takes it, tasting the sweetness of it.
He licks the chocolate off his lips when you pull away. âMmmâŚ.so good.â You nod glad that he likes it. Though way heâs looking at you makes you think he might not be talking about the chocolate. You choose to ignore your thoughts with a cough.
As you go on you learn facts about chocolate and the factory and jungkook takes the pictures. When walking around you make sure to not forget to collect little pieces of chocolate from the dispensers. And itâs not long before your hands are getting full.
When your expedition is over, youâre returning to your bags to stuff them with your treasure.
âThis is a lot of chocolate.â Jungkook states.
You shake your head. âitâs not that much.â
âYeah of course an addict is telling me that.â
You gasp. âIâm not an addict.â
âTell that to all the money Iâve spent buying you chocolate.â Money which it didnât mind and loved spending.
âHonestly thatâs all on you.â You say raising your hands. He chuckles.
Getting tired you both decide to go by the cafĂŠ inside the factory. Whilst there you both order some food to eat which is not chocolate, except you. For your beverage you picked to drink the famous hot cocoa. Which tastes like heaven made it themselves.
âHow do I take this home with me?â you say motioning to your drink.
âJust stay.â He meant to say you both could just stay, but his tongue tripped.
You nod, thinking about it. âI could.â Moving to Switzerland and living here would be a dream. But unfortunately, things arenât that easy. Finding a job would be hard, plus the language barrier would kill you.
âdonât.â heâs almost pleading. âI donât know how Iâd tell your family I lost you to Switzerland.â More like he doesnât know how heâd fix things.
âHonestly itâs no competition.â You say in deep thought and analysis.
âWhat? you would leave me for Switzerland?â He says it not realizing causing you to chuckle. And when you look at him, he gets it.
The conversation doesnât go farther after that. Jungkook just stays in his thought. When jungkook had made the decision to move. He honestly thought it wouldnât be that bad. Heâd plan on maybe moving you out to him when he settled down, but your job was a very hot topic. At the time he hadnât realized how serious it was. But now he does.
If it was you moving, heâd be just as hurt. And it pissing him off that he hadnât realize the impact.
For your second and last activity for the day, cause of the way time just flies by; is the largest indoor flea market.
You spend your time there; just looking around, eating, and buying stuff. During your move you make it a mission to take pictures of jungkook. And you do manage to take some good ones.
He also finds an opportunity to ask about your work and how itâs going. And if that co-worker that bothers you is still around. Heâs glad to learn that she did get moved to another department. Heâs happy with whatever makes you comfortable.
As youâre talking, youâre approached by a couple, older but not old and tourists as well. They ask you to take a picture of them and jungkook is glad to assist. When heâs done, theyâre happy and offer to take a picture of you too, jungkook wants to decline the offer assuming you wouldnât want to but youâre quick to accepting.
âyou two look so lovely together.â The lady says and you have no clue what to say apart form an awkward thank you. You wouldnât blame them for thinking youâre a couple, not with the way jungkook is smiling at the picture.
âGrow up kook.â
âWhat?â he whines. âItâs a good photo.â
You roll your eyes before walking away. He follows behind you, smiling.
-----
Soon your day on paper comes to an end and youâre returning to the cabin.
You did not know what to expect of your day in the morning. Your night was okay but would the rest of the day go the same? those were some of your thoughts. But to your pleasure the day went well, great even. You just hope itâs the same for the rest of the trip.
Jungkook is on cocoa duty (not assigned but he took the responsibility.) and youâd be lying if you said he didnât do a good job at it every time.
Leaning against the counter holding your mug and watching him finishes up with his own, you watch.
âHowâd you like the Lindt factory?â
He takes a sip before answering. âGreat. Honestly enjoyed it more than I thought.â
âWhat? You donât trust my judgement?â you watch as he leans on the counter opposite from you.
âitâs not that. Just never thought I was that big of a chocolate fan.â
You hum. Silence fills the kitchen as youâre just enjoying the drink. Why does the air feel so thick, is it the way he just leans there. Pajamas not doing a very good job at hiding his physique. Why the hell does he look buffer. Gosh, his arms look like theyâd lift and lay you to your demise. In the morning you caught a glimpse of his shirtless torso, and you were about to lose your cool. To add gasoline to the fire he had just stepped out the shower and had not completely dried. Geez, if it wasnât for your ability to leave the room, you donât know what you wouldâve done or said.
Jungkook has always had a keen eye for your little frustrated looks, the way you donât blink, the way you wrap your hands around yourself or how you cross your legs. He knows. Itâs the details heâs aware of. No one knows you like he does.
âI like this sweater on you.â He says pointing to the green sweater youâd just gotten back from the dry cleaners.
You look down at it. âBecause itâs yours?â you raise a brow as you take a sip of your cocoa.
He shakes his head looking your body up. âno. because you look good in it.â Heâs biting his lip, then his playing with that little lip ring. Yn, hold yourself.
You choke out a chuckle. âJungkook.â Itâs a warning for him. But he doesnât take it.
âWhat? Itâs not my fault you look good in all my clothes.â gosh youâre gonna die choking on this liquid. âMakes me want to just hand over my closet to you.â Heâs coming closer to you, gosh what the fuck, he approaches but itâs the sink youâre standing in front he wants. You move. He rinses his mug, tired of the drink.
âWell, that wonât be necessary.â you say sliding away from his towering figure. Just to catch your breath, cause youâve been holding it. Jungkook laughs at the movement. Just after, youâre rinsing your cup and placing it in the cupboard. Youâre not gonna die choking on cocoa, or jungkook as a matter of fact.
âThink Iâm going to bed.â You state thinking the bedroom will be your only place of solace away from him.
âMe too. Iâm getting sleepy.â
Youâre stiff as he walks behind you. You hope youâll be able to sleep on your own tonight. Cause if jungkook just as much as touches you, youâll turn into a puddle.
Youâre quick to moving to your side and facing away from him as to not see him taking of his shirt. You know because you hear it drop.
âGoodnight.â He says turning off the light.
With all your might you mumble a goodnight to him too.
Tonight, you manage to fall asleep without cuddling. You sleep back-to-back close enough to feel the heat radiating off the other.
Jungkook wanted, so badly to go skiing after seeing an advertisement for it and saw some people do it on your way to the cabin. Youâre not one for these intense sports but since he went with you to the Lindt factory, you thought itâd only be fair to go as well. Just accompany him.
Though his wonât be sweet and rewarding.
âYou wanna go with me?â he asks teasingly and you shake your head, as soon as you process his words.â come on.â He whines.
âIâll just cheer you on from down here.â The process of skiing looks terrifying. What do you mean you had to go on those zip line things, and slide down. Not you. Nope.
âitâs not that bad. Youâll be with me.â
Though it sounds comforting it doesnât change anything. âIâll just stay here looking around and taking pictures for you.â You smile hoping it convinces him.
He chuckles, his bunny smile on show for you.â baby what are you so scared of?â the pet name comes out smoothly, catching you by surprise. But it does seat itself in and warm your heart.
âitâs just scary.â You wrap your arms around your body.
He sighs watching you closely. âFine, but can we do something as exciting, later.â He stares at you scattering your brain for what he could be referring to. âLike ice skating.â Ohâhe was thinking ice skating. Last night has your mind in a whirlwind.
âThat sounds better.â Jungkook laughs cause itâs basically the same thing, but he wonât get into it.
âOkay then.â He says walking to the register. âweâll do that later.â Itâs a promise.
Jungkook is off skiing and youâre sat in doors, still able to watch the outside activities, landscape and events thought the large window. You donât mind not going skiing, itâs not like it was on your list.
While youâre sat you decide itâd be a good time to call jimin and let him in on your trip so far.
âitâs not as awkward, anymore. It was at first. But then we just agreed to just enjoy the trip for the sake of our money.â
âThe sake of your money?â he mocks.
You choke out a laugh. âYes, for the money.â Is it? âheâs been nice and all. Itâs actually not bad.â Jimin hums as he listens, this time at least you have his attention.
Youâve shockingly enjoyed the trip more than you thought, so far. If you just keep on, the whole trip could go well and youâd be back to your normal lives. You hate the sickness you feel at the thought. The trip will end, it is gonna end and youâll be back to what you were before. Gosh.
âSounds like the trip is going a little too well.â
You scoff. âitâs not that, weâre both just chill.â
âNo fucking or kissing.â
You gasp and look around like someone couldâve heard that, but your phone is to your ear. âjimin! Oh my gosh.â The thought of it has you blushing still.
âJust sayinâ. Jungkookâs probably dying. â
You roll your eyes. Heâs fine, youâre fine.
You go on talking but soon you have to end the call. Immediately you cut the call and stuff your phone in your pocket a figure sits next to you. Male, not jungkook. You pay no mind to him. youâre on a public bench anyone can sit next to you. Heâs just in his own business. Is what you think until heâs reaching over to talk to you.
âExciting isnât it.â when he speaks you catch his foreign accent, not Swiss. Must be a tourist like you.
You awkwardly furrow your brows. âHuh?â
âSkiing.â He points.
Then it clicks that thatâs what heâs talking about.
âI presume.â You say modestly. Why the heck is he talking to you.
âPresume? Havenât you gone?â
âno.â You shake your head chuckling. âitâs not for me.â
âYou canât say that. You havenât even tried.â You internally roll your eyes. Why does he seem to care so much. âPlus, why come to Switzerland in the winter and not try skiing.â
You donât know why you carry on this conversation, but you feel like justifying yourself. âHonestly I just came for the Lindt factory.â You say shamelessly causing the stranger to laugh. he doesnât seem like a weirdo or creep, but you can never know. Heâs probably not talking to you out of pure interest. So, you try to keep your distance.
âyouâve been?â
âYeah. Yesterday.â
He hums sound interested and you know this conversation isnât ending anytime soon. âHow was it?â
You scoff internally. âIt was fun. Would recommend youâll love it.â You donât even know him; how would you know heâd like it. And to be fair youâd add that Jungkookâs presence made the place more exciting to be at. You assume he doesnât have a jungkook. Speaking of jungkook, how long is he going to be? You shouldâve just gone out on a walk instead.
He nods. âWell maybe you can show me.â You pause, okay now youâre starting to get uncomfortable. âIâm sorry I donât mean it like that. Itâs just that I came alone and it would be nice to have someone show me around.â He justifies but it doesnât make you any more comfortable. âIâd pay for your ticket if thatâs the issue.â
You chuckle. âIâm a tourist to, thereâs not much I can show you.â
âI mean youâve visited the Lindt, so you know more than me.â Gosh heâs so adamant.
You smile awkwardly wishing jungkook would just pop up.
âyouâd be better off going with someone else.â Youâre looking around as if youâve lost something. The man catches on to the action.
âAm I making you uncomfortable.â Yes. very.
âNo-â before you can finish your lie of a statement, Jungkookâs interrupts, voice anything but kind.
âYes, you are.â He says firmly, body not open for discussion.
The guy turns to look at you, then jungkook, then back at you. âDo you know him?â
Hesitantly you respond. âyeahâ you debate on what to say. âHeâs a friend.â He is isnât he?
Friend? Jungkook chuckles internally. âExcuse us.â He spits out to the man.
The guy is taken aback, but just stands. âIâm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.â You just nod and give him an awkward smile as he walks away.
You sigh relieved that heâs gone.
 You and jungkook share a glance before heâs sitting down.
âFriend?â Jungkook asks when he sits next to you.
You raise a brow. âWhat? you wanted me to lie?â
âLie?â he says even stronger. You donât know what heâs pointing to right now.
âAre you parrot?â You chuckle trying to get smart with him.
Jungkook scoffs at how you avoid his eyes. âYou couldnât have said I was your boyfriend.â
âBut youâre not.â You spit out a little quickly.
When you turn to look at him you catch how his jaw clenches. And if you werenât arguing right now, youâd think itâs the hottest thing. âBut you couldâve just lied so he leaves you alone. Now heâs probably going to try to approach you again.â
âheâs not going to.â You say naively.
Jungkook is getting frustrated with this, a little more than he should. âI know guys like that, heâs going wait for a time when Iâm not around and attack.â
âAttack?â you laugh at his word choice. Your laughter only serves to his anger. âYouâre being dramaticâ
âIâm not being dramatic, Iâm being seriousâ his statement comes out a little strong and louder than youâd like
âdonât yell.â You warn him and he apologizes. âI get you feel like you need to protect me, but relax.â
He laughs at the way you think. You thinking heâs feeling like he needs to, no, he needs to. He wants to.
âI donât feel like, I need to, I want to.â
You donât say anything, he knows heâs got you, what more could you say. Thereâs nothing. Jungkook is the protective type, has always been. Heâs shown you that many times in your relationship. And then, it made sense but now you feel like he shouldnât have to bother himself with it. Youâre not his responsibility anymore. âWe should get ready to go for lunch.â you stand walking away.
Jungkook follows after you, knowing youâre now gonna give him attitude. Your folded arms are evidence of that. Heâd normally just kiss the attitude away but for obvious reason he canât.
-
âyouâre not gonna ask how skiing was?â He tries really hard to open the air for conversation. He hates it when you argue. So, he tries to everything he can to lighten the air.
You stare down at your food. Your eyes not meeting him once. âHow was it?â you donât even sound interested which you hate because you are. You love to hear jungkook talk about things he loves.
âIt was great.â He explains not into going into much detail like he wanted to. Your energy demoralizes him. âIâm sure theyâre still open if you still want to try. He suggests but youâre quick to shaking your head.
When heâs about to say something, heâs getting interrupted. Itâs a girl, the one he met when skiing. She showed him around some routes since sheâs a local.
âYn, this is Lena. I met her whilst skiing.â He says introducing you. âLena this is yn, my friend.â
Fuck now you know how bad it stings.
âHey yn. How are you liking you trip so far?â she asks politely in an accent.
You stare her up, taking in her features. She looks about your age, and gorgeous. Why is your body so rigid. Speak. âUmm- hi-Iâm liking it well enough. Thanks.â you can hear how stiff and awkward your speech is. Gosh yn she hasnât done anything to you, chill. Smile.
Jungkook breaks into your awkward encounter. âIâm gonna be seeing you at the ice rink, right?â
He says and she smiles a little too hard. You roll your eyes. What does he mean heâs gonna see her there. Is the a you and him trip anymore? Your food doesnât look as appetizing anymore. âYeah. Iâm there often during the holidays.â
The way her voice rings in your head is jarring. Make it stop.
Soon your prayers are answered and sheâs leaving. Though unlike her your heavy heart stays.
Jungkook turns to you, still staring at her route of exit. âYou, okay?â your eyes return.
You shift your eyes to your hands. âYeah, Iâm just tired.â You stand from the table choosing to leave. âI think Iâm gonna stop by the cabin.â
Jungkook is confused. But he just takes you as you are.
âSure, let me get-â he threatens to stand.
âno. Iâll just take a train.â
He sits down. If you want to be alone itâs best if he lets you be.
When you get to the cabin, all alone. You find yourself falling into deep thought.
The pretend play you and jungkook are playing is good for you to enjoy the trip, but you wonât deny how much it only covers your true feelings. You play pretend and feel all these feelings as though youâre still together and then the trip ends and youâre sucked into being apart. And itâs him leaving all over again.
Youâre getting sick of it. Thereâs only so much pretending you can do.
Jungkook: ice skating later today?
He wants to be sure you havenât changed your mind.
Not matter your emotions you still want to enjoy the trip.
You: sure. Meet you there.
When you make it to the ice rink, your mood is still tense from lunch, which is your fault for holding on to the emotions for so long. To only sour your mood more, you spot jungkook talking to the Lena girl from lunch.
You roll your eyes and watch how she giggles a little too hard at something he says. Jungkook is a funny guy, but she shouldnât be laughing, whatever heâs said canât be that funny. This is so irritating. Why the hell is she even here.
When jungkook spots you, he has on a huge grin, but the sour look on your face has him dropping it. He thought maybe you wouldnât be still upset by now. But heâs wrong. âYn youâre here.â He says it like he wasnât expecting you and you werenât meant to be here, or thatâs how you hear it.
âWe made plans, didnât we?â your tone is nothing more than flat and irritated.
âWe did.â He turns. âYou remember Lena?â He turns to point at her, like you canât see her. Whyâs she looking at you.
Oh, could you forget her. âI do.â You jeer.
âHi.â she with her perfect smile. Youâd liked to punch it inâyour of courseâyouâd never actually so it.
âHey.â It comes out awkward and strained. Wanting to get things over with you turn to jungkook immediately. âwhatâre we doing now?â             Â
âUm. Weâll have to get the skates.â He turns to Lena for some type of consultation, you scoff.
 âYeah, this way.â she says turning to lead the way.
Jungkook turns to you, your folded arms the first thing he sees. He stands next to you. âYou get here okay?â you didnât arrive together which means you had to take public transport, which he knows you donât mind but he just wants to check on you.
âYeah.â You mutter before walking ahead of him. Do you even know where youâre going?
You want to enjoy it, but the emotions that are ahead of you block you from doing so completely. And of course, Lena is a pro at skating.
Jungkook is fairly good, for someone whoâs just taken it up. Youâd attribute that to his quick learner personality.
You on the other hand are struggling, and itâs pissing you off. You hold on to the half wall and glide. Thereâs a good amount of people around and honestly, itâs embarrassing. -like- there are even small kids better at it than you. Itâd be better if you just stopped. There are probably other activities you could do. Ice skating (or skiing) is not the end all be all of Switzerland.
Jungkook would probably enjoy skating more with Lena, seeing that they skied together earlier. You question why jungkook even ever liked you in the first place. Youâre not cool like Lena or even as adventurous, you do try but you donât feel itâs enough. Heâs better off with someone like her. Itâs good you broke up so that he can be free to do whatever. The thought stabs at your heart.
Jungkook spots you from where he is walking out. The look on your face anything but happy. Heâs swift to skating to you, making sure not to bump into anymore with how fast heâs moving. âWhere you going?â
His concerned and soft voice only intensifies your frustration. Could he not see how irritated and bad at this you are. He was probably too busy to notice. Heâs always busy.
 âYou havenât even travelled the while ring.â He chuckles awkwardly as you step off. He follows.
âI donât know, Iâm just not feeling it.â You donât even dare look at him, because you know if you do your frustration will win and youâll end up yelling or crying. And both are too embarrassing to do in public.
Jungkook scoffs. Jungkook canât tell whatâs going on with you but itâs definitely disturbing your ability to enjoy anything. He wants you to enjoy. But whatâs irritating him is how you donât want to communicate what youâre feeling to him. Heâs always made himself a safe space for you to open up. But you never take it. Ever since he m0ved youâve been distant, physically and emotionally. Itâs frustrating cause all he wants is to be close to you in all ways. âYou were not feeling skiing and now youâre not feeling this?â
Is he blaming you for not enjoying this? Itâs not your fault you feel this way. You donât even want to be feeling like this. You do want to enjoy skating, gosh you want to, so bad. But thereâs just so much youâre holding on too that pretending canât solve.
âJungkook Iâm not any good at this.â You gesture around eyes starting to sting when you watch how other people have fun while you argue. âYou just go have fun with your Leni or Lena whatever.â You act like you arenât sure of her name.
Itâs the way you say it, the force and strain in the word. The way you look to the crowd in a jittering stare looking for her that letâs jungkook know what this is all about. Did it come off like that? Sheâs just a girl he met whilst skiing, he honestly never thought that far. Never thought youâd be thinking of it.
âIs this because of her?â he questions eyebrows furrowed trying to look at your face thatâs staring down. Why the hell are this shoe laces so hard to untie. you just want to cut them off, but youâd probably have to pay for damages. Shit
Your frustration is replaced with another type of embarrassment, when jungkook is on his knee to replace his hands with yours to help you take the laces off. You just want the ground to swallow you right now. Unlike you Jungkookâs calmness is able to take the laces off. He tries to help you into your other shoes but you just brush him off. He moves.
Standing up and looking at you he asks. Voice calm like usual. âIs it?â youâd even forgotten his previous question. Do you have to answer him?
âI donât know how it would be when you two are off to the other side of the ring. Iâve barely talked to her.â Thatâs exactly the problem why the heck do you feel like this when you havenât gotten to know the girl. You barely know her intentions.
âIt is.â
You groan rolling your eyes. âIf you want help skating, I can help you. Iâm sorry that I got carried away.â Itâs probably one of the things youâre mad about. He just fucking left you like you didnât make plans to come here together. Yeah, maybe your attitude made the distance between you, but he should know how to deal with it by now. Gosh youâve been together for a good 3 years. He should know how you are.
And he does. Thatâs why he insists youâre acting like this cause of Lena. well, sheâs probably just a catalyst and thereâs something deeper that you two have to address.
You stand looking up at him, but heâs towering figure doesnât make you as intimidating as you want to feel. âYou donât have to be sorry about anything, why? Cause you always know what youâre doing.â
âYou know itâd be better if you just said it directly.â Whatever it is, because he wants to know. You want to walk past him but his hand around your wrist stops you. You look at it then at him. Heâs not smiling, but not mad. Just concerned.
âI donât--Iâm not saying anything.â You snatch it form his grip and he lets you.
Jungkookâs face scrunches up in frustration. âThatâs what you always say, then pull shit like this.â
You pause and stare at right in his--round eyes that are now, siren. âShit like what?â
âThis. Your fucking attitude.â He almost loses his tone but remembers that youâre in public, which is so fucking embarrassing. âYou never want to talk about things.â He looks around for any watching eyes.
You just glare at him. Maybe you donât like expressing yourself to him anymore. Youâve noticed it too. It had been hard for you to express yourself to him over a call, and sometimes shitty network. There had been days where you wanted to cry on his shoulders but only had the screen to rely on, so guess what you did. Nothing. You didnât cry, you didnât tell him anything. Youâd just cry on your pillow after the call ends. âMaybe I donât cause I know you wonât listen.â
Thatâs a hit to his ego. To him as a person.
âThatâs bullshit and you know it. I always listen to you.â The blank look on your face has him questioning himself. âof course, Iâm not perfect.â
You chuckle bitterly.
âJust go off to your little girlfriend.â And there it is, a confirmation of what he already knew.
You start walking to the entrance. And he follows. Shoes on. Heâs not going to be able to skate with the heaviness in his heart. Heâd end up sinking into the ice, which doesnât sound so bad right now. âCome on.â He swiftly moves to standing Infront of you. He blocks you from moving and you just give up and just decide to look at his jaw, not wanting to look directly at him. Which was not a good idea, cause of how he clenches it. You look up into his eyes. âyouâre jealous?â
âWho?â heâs a parrot and now youâre an owl, he wants to say but finds it inappropriate for your mood.
âYou are so jealous.â
âIâm no-â
âdonât lie to me.â You try to push at his chest for him to move out of your way, but your plan backfires giving him leeway to hold your hand firmly to his chest. Hard as a rock even through heâs sweater. âTell me why youâre jealous.â
Instead of answering him directly you try to change the topic. You swear you can feel his heart beat through his sweater.
âDonât act like I couldnât see you jealous too when that guy approached me.â You try to one-up.
âI was jealous.â His confession has you wanting you dig a hole and hide yourself. Itâs so easy for him to say, you werenât even enjoying your conversation with that guy. âDifference with me is that I can say it.â
Shit. Shit. What do you say now. Get angrier, that always works, well not really.
âWhatever. Iâm not jealous.â You look away from him. Are you really doing this in public. Jungkook doesnât look like he gives a fuck right now, he just wants an answer. One which heâs not going to get.
âTell me what youâre so jealous about?â his voice lowers
âHow many times do I have to say Iâm not jealous.â Till you canât deny it anymore, the thought runs through Jungkookâs mind. âJust go have your fun.â You finally decide youâre tired of feeling his heart beat perfectly.
âyouâre so ridiculous yâknow.â He watches you move slight away, anger not faltering one bit. Youâre determined to being upset. âcanât we just talk about this. It seems to be bothering you.â
It is. Itâs fucking gnawing at your heart, your lungs, your mind.
âNothingâs bothering me, Iâm fine.â You breathe in, relaxing and calming down just a bit. âI just donât want to be out there all on my own, while youâre having fun with some else.â Jungkook licks his lip. He doesnât have anything else to say. What he has to say canât be said here or whilst youâre unable to hear.
âIâm going home.â You pass by him and he doesnât bother turning to watch you walk out.
âKorea?â itâs possible for you to want to leave. And the thought causes him to bite down hard on his bottom lip. Cause if you leave on these terms, nothingâs gonna change and heâd never get another chance. Youâd avoid him like the plague.
âNo, the cabin.â You state and heâs relieved. âHave fun.â
âEverything okay?â jungkook is startled by Lenaâs voice who walked around to find him after she noticed he was gone.
âYeah.â You force a smile. âIâll just get going.â He informs her. He already has his stuff so thereâs no need for him to go back inside. âThanks for getting us in, though we didnât even stay long.â
âNo problem. It was fun, wish I got to talk to her.â
âYeah, she isnât normally like that.â Cause you arenât.
âI understand.â
You donât immediately go to the cabin. Instead, you go to the sauna you had been eyeing. It could probably be the only way to relax you. The sweat dripping down will mask the real tears falling down your face. Youâre glad youâre alone right now.
You have your head leaned back thinking about what had just previously happened. The thoughts not wanting to leave you.
You hear the door open but you donât bother looking, youâve got a lot to think about. âhey stranger..â the familiar voice speaks just as shocked. You sharply open your eyes. Wondering if itâs you heâs speaking to but youâre just the two of you in here.
Youâre just the two of you.
âdidnât expect to find you here.â He says setting himself down just in front of you and you looking at him oddly. Do you have bad luck?
âhmmâ you chuckle awkwardly. You make a plan to gradually scoot yourself to the door. Being with him here does make you uncomfortable but you try to stay to enjoy whatâs left of your time. You expect silence but the man doesnât see on the same level. âWent to the Lindt factory like you said. Was honestly the best of everything.â
âIâm glad you liked it.â you say like youâre a worker at the factory or care.
âIt wouldâve been better if you came too.â
You awkwardly chuckle and finally decide to sit up. You came here to think and relax but this guy couldnât be more of a bother. âIâm sure I wouldâve just made it worse.â
He chuckles and smiles your way. A smile you do not reciprocate âI doubt.â
âIs your friend around?â Now you should fucking leave.
âMm?â you ask like you didnât hear. Fucking sirens are blaring. Heâs not giving off Iâm gonna leap at your vibe. Itâs more of his inability to give up that bugs you. âOh- ahh yeah. Heâs gonna be here.â
He turns to look at the door like Jungkookâs about to walk through the door, but he doesnât. gosh you wish he would. âisnât it hard to have male friends like him.â You look at him brows furrowed, confused. You wait for him to elaborate and heâs quick to it. âProtective.â He says.
âhow?â
âmakes it hard for you to live your live and get to know people.â You laugh. itâs not like jungkook has his hands on you and pulling you away from people who want to talk to you. Heâs actually for it but he just has a good discernment of creeps. As you sit here you reflect on his words from before when you initially met the guy. Gosh you should really start listening to jungkook. Makes you realize how right he isâsometimes--
âno.â your tone is sharp that the soft one youâd been giving him.
He shakes his head. He lifts his hands in defence saying, âI think heâs doing too much.â Now youâre getting upset, visibly so, which is not lost to the man. Who the fuck does he thinks he is. Heâs the one doing too much, âIâm not some weirdo, I promise.â He hasnât shown any signs of it yet, but you donât give a fuck and youâre not gonna wait around for him to show it.
âI think youâre doing too much.â You snare abruptly standing up. He can tell the irritation on your face and is about to defend himself but youâre quick to cutting in. youâre not about to have it.
âI donât know how your long your trip is but if you see me around, please donât speak to me.â
âWait.â You donât.
Sauna time done you decide to go back to the cabin, feeling anything but relaxed. Daylight already lost.
Today has honestly knocked you out, as though youâve done anything energy straining. Itâs more of an emotional strain. When you walk in jungkook isnât anywhere to be seen. So, you just assume he never got back. Makes you wonder where the hell he is and why he didnât tell you, but youâre in no place to convict him cause you never informed him of your sauna endeavours as well. Youâre both grown adults and can move around Switzerland without the otherâbutâwhy do you feel entitled to know where he is. You lost those privileges when you broke up and now when you left him at the rink.
Maybe a steamy shower will do what the sauna didnât finish cause of you interruption. After that you decide to end your night early, youâve got nothing to do after all.
you toss and turn in bed, barely able to get a linear sleeping time. Everything just feels so weird and off. Even worse than in the beginning. Itâs all a different type of awkward, which you hate. Jungkook isnât sleeping next to you which prompts you to checking the time.
1:39am your phone tells you.
Where the hell is he, youâre starting to get scared. Youâre not worried about his safety cause jungkook is very capable in that sector, --well unless he got shotâshot? Â Why are thinking of that. Whoâd fucking shot him, let alone in Switzerland. Heâs never been in any trouble with the law or anyone. Youâre getting paranoid, if you donât see jungkook in the flesh, well and not wounded, youâre gonna lose your mind.
Putting on the sweater that has been a staple and carried you through the trip you walk out the bedroom to the open floor living room. you sigh when you donât spot jungkook. You wonât be able to go back to sleep even if you wanted to. Cause you donât feel like it and are losing your mind. As youâre standing in the living room like an anxiety ridden mom waiting for their teenager child at midnight, you hear it. Itâs wood chopping sounds. Harsh and fast. You do have some cabins around you so it could be your neighboursâbut no--the sound is closer to yours, like itâs just outside. So, you curiously walk to the door which would lead you closer to the sound. Maybe you arenât as afraid cause you assume itâs jungkook. And it is.
You relax when you spot his figure well and healthy.
He doesnât notice as you stand watching him. bottom lip chewed down on. Why the hell is he chopping wood at 1 in the morning.
You want to say something. You need to. Maybe apologize about what happened at the rink, you have a fair share in the argument. Since waking up or maybe after the sauna you realized how childish your behaviour was. You ruined the moment. When you couldâve just asked jungkook to help you and he wouldâve been there, hadnât you chosen to give into your irritation. Irritation of seeing him with a woman. There you said it.
His muscles flex as he moves to drop the axe down on the wood.
This is not what you want for you and jungkook. Arguing and not able to talk or share air. Itâs not what you want. Even if things do officially end, youâd want to end it on calm and friendlier terms.
As you watch him you notice how his jaw tightens. Heâs not just chopping wood. You start to worry for him when his movements grow harsher, of the larger chunk of wood.
âWhat did the wood do to you?â you try to be neutral.
He didnât notice you behind him. So, heâs startled by the sound of your voice. Turning to look at you holding yourself in the door way, he chooses to take a break. He got so carried away he forgot he was cutting wood for the fire place and had cut too much. He drops the axe into snow. âDitched me at the ice rink.â He says going to pick up some pieces of wood to bring inside.
Fuck you feel so bad. You stay silent watching him until heâs brought all the wood in and finally closing the door. Which allows for the warmth from the now blazing fire to fill the house. Now in warmer climate, jungkook takes off his large sweater and you drop your arms that were still wrapped around you.
âIâm sorry about that.â You mumble softly. He stands at the sink, you assume to make himself something warm.
âitâs okay, itâs not like I went all the way to stay in touch with some girl so she could get meâus--a good deal at the ice rink. Then I take you there and you ditch the thing entirely.â
You do feel horrible about to, but his tone irritates you causing you to respond as just that. Which you immediately regret.
âI left you with her, werenât you happy with that.â You have an interesting way of saying things that bother you.
Jungkook pauses his actions and stares at you with a seriously confused face. He scoffs. Youâre not making sense. âYou know thatâs not what I wanted.â He returns to his mug. âI wanted to spend it with you.â His voices calms.
Fuck. Uhm what do you say. You should probably say youâre sorry. âIâm sorry.â
Jungkook just listening. He just doesnât understand, he wishes you could just be straight forward. Frustrated and tired of hiding behind a task, he drops the cup to give you, his attention.
âDid I say something wrong?â you stand where you are but jungkook moves. To you. You panic but he doesnât walk closer than a few feet from you. You donât know how youâd handle yourself if he came any closer. At the rink you almost died. âAt the rink?â he clarifies like youâre not fully aware. He just wants to make sure that youâre on the same page. Cause you can think of other times he might have feared heâd said something wrong. Â âI honestly shouldnât even have started talking to her.â He rubs a hand over his face.
Jungkook has never been malicious to you in your friendship before or relationship. Or even now. Heâs been cordial. Heâs the only man whoâs treated so well and calmingly. Of course he has his imperfections, you both do. But it doesnât take from how well heâs treated you. He never crosses a line.
âitâs not even that.â Youâre looking off to the side and holding yourself again,
Gosh, heâs really holding himself right now. He bites his lower lip and clenches his jaw to hold himself back from just walking up to you and making you look him in the eyes. âThen whatâs wrong. Please talk to me.â He pleads.
âI donât know,â you whisper still looking beyond him, your voice is barely audible.
Heâs begging, really for you to just tell him something. âPlease donât say that.â He responds, his tone a mix of frustration and pleading. He steps closer just a few centimetres away, if you unfolded your arms youâd probably bump into his chest.
âI donât-â you start but your voice cuts you off, âitâs the way you-â you arenât able to finish. What are you going to do with yourself. This is embarrassing, you can barely form or organize your thoughts and your mouth can barely move to speak. Youâre not even going to talk about how hard it is for you to look him in the eyes. You just settle with staring at his other supporting features. His hair, his ears (that are red from what you assume is frustrationâitâs not--), his eyebrows and then you skip to look at his nose--
âwas it me talking to that girl?â
âI donât wanna talk about it.â You push away slightly.
âBut we have--you know what--I want to.â He moves to block your action of walking away. You thought you were strong enough. You thought youâd manage to talk about this. But you canât. not when it makes you want to cry. Â âI want to talk about it.â His voice is stern but not harsh. Itâs just strong enough to let you know heâs not letting this go. Itâs funny how something so insignificant can cause you to be in this situation. Forced to express and confront your emotions, the oneâs youâve been running from since the trip began, the oneâs you told yourselves youâd pretend didnât exist. You fooled yourselves by dodging the topic.
Now youâre here. âWhile weâre at it we can talk about why you broke up with me.â Heâs not asking if you can talk about it, heâs telling you it has to be talked about and heâs not gonna let it go by. Not this time.
At his words, all your emotions unite to form a single unit of defence. âme? you agreed too.â You point at him face scowling.
âI only did cause itâs what you wanted, and I didnât want to hold you back.â
You stare confused. âHold me back from what?â what the fuck does he think youâve been doing. You hope he doesnât think youâve been out and about since breaking up, thatâs been the last thing on your mind.
âFrom living the life, you wanted to, without me.â His upset at the thought leading his voice to come out a little passive aggressive.
He does think that, you can see it. âWithout you? I donât want that.â You state. âBut how can I live a life with you when youâre miles away, always busy. And can barely visit.â You just talk. Finally, your gears are moving. But the problem is that so are the tears. âYou moving away is you choosing to live without me too.â You choke on your words a little. âEven I didnât want to tie you to me or hold you back from your dreams thatâs why I tried to li- live with it, but it got so unbearable kook. I couldnât take it. it felt like I was alone. In fact, I was alone.â
Jungkook feels sick hearing that you felt alone.
âYou know I did try.â His voice is soft, moving himself into your circle. You let him. He canât help himself but cup your cheek. The action feels comforting, almost relieving. At least heâs here and youâre not talking over the phone, makes it much easier for you to sink into his touch.
You hold the wrist thatâs caressing your cheek. Gosh you want to keep his touch here forever. âI know thatâs what hurts more you tried but it still wasnât enough. I really did want it to work. I still do.â On your last sentence you look up at him and heâs already staring at you, the thump of his other hand coming swiftly to wipe your stray tears. You sniffle. âCause honestly Iâve missed you kook.â You feel comforted playing with the end of his sweater. Â âSo much. I miss how we were before you moved. When it was easier for us to be together.â your fingers take a journey from the bottom of his sweater to the neck.
Your palms lay flat on his chest and his hands move to softly hold your wrist, not to move you away but you keep there.
âI know we said weâd pretend. A-and I thought I could. But I canât kook.â On cue with his name, you look up at him. âfuck- I never knew how much I hate seeing you talk to otherâ" you canât finish your sentence, but itâs okay cause heâs finished for you in his mind. âIâm sorry for attitude.â
He glides his hands from your wrists down your arms until they are both on your waist. âIâm sorry too.â Heâs pulling you closer, your hands still on his chest, but now for stability. âIâm so sorry I was too distracted for you. You didnât deserve that. You donât serve that.â Heâs caressing your back. âokay?â you have to answer but you can only bring yourself to nodding. All heâs ever wanted was to know. Know what was wrong and how he could fix it.
âIâve missed you too.â He smiles lightly bringing his nose to brush against yours. The action has you tilting your head upwards. His lips itch to touch yours, but they donât they just hover, he still has more to say. And he wants to say it close enough for you to feel it. âIf only you knew how I dreaded every morning and realized you werenât next to me. Every time I just wanted to fly back home.â
âSo, what stopped you.â Youâre looking at his lips. his rosy and moist lips from how hard heâs been biting and licking on that. You wanna do that. You wanna kiss him, wanna be the only biting down on his lips. Â you wanna do a lot of things right now. You wanna run your hands through his hair remind yourself of its texture, you wanna lift that sweater off, that holds his cologne so well, the earthy lavender scent, that crawls its way through your system. You wanna take that sweater off him, --feel, seeâjust how much that gym membership as proved itself valuable. You know you wonât be disappointed, jungkook loves the fucking gym.
âI donât even know. But all I know is that itâs not gonna stop me anymore.â Him nudging his nose closer has you tilting your head to meet his lips. the air between you feels heavy. The feeling pulling your lips to meet. And when the do, itâs fervent. His kiss is urgent but slow, not wanting to be apart from you for a second.
 Your bodies are hooked together as Jungkook is moving you back into a wall. The kiss intensifies when he leans your head back with his hand around your neck. Youâre gripping onto his sweater for support and breathing him in for life.
Jungkook clings onto your lips for life too, even if he needs to breath he doesnât stop. You moaning into his mouth will suffice. He doesnât know where to keep his hands. Should he use them to tilt your head back to deepen the kiss, (if he goes any deeper heâs gonna sink.) whilst he uses the other to pull you leg up by your thighs, his grip surely leaving crescent moons as decorations. He doesnât know what to do with them. For the moment he uses them to pull he sweater over his head. Youâve been clawing at it to come off.
Now shirtless you can feel his skin for what you remember it to be silky-smooth. So delicate that you fear leaving scratch marks on him, but jungkook encourages it, he begs you to do it. Your hands roam his body, first his large back, muscles flexed, then down his firm chest then down to his defined midsection. âWhat am I to do with all this.â You say breathless.
âYou tell me. Itâs all yours.â Your lips are meeting again. Tongues tagging at each other. For some reason the rich, sweet and completely irresistible taste of chocolate lingers on your lips, but he loves it and is drinking it up.
Jungkook finds that his hands are better at gripping your thigh and lifting it to wrap around his waist. His core moves into you and you feel how hard he is against you. Youâre thankful for his thin pajama pants.
Your hands pull at the root of his hair, though itâs shorter you make it work, making him groan into your mouth. You both canât fucking breath at this point, which is the only reason youâre pulling away. Your heavy breaths brushing against each other.
âjungk-â youâre moaning for him to take you to bed but heâs steps ahead of you. Your feet donât have to fret cause heâs lifting you by the thighs to lay you on the edge of the bed.
You lay back on the bed but legs on his shoulder, heâs kneeling between your legs. Your pants are still on but not for long. In a swift motion youâre left in your plain black panties. The ones with the little bow. He chuckles at the detail. When you see what heâs laughing at you get self conscious. Jungkook looks up at you confused why youâre closing your legs.
âI didnât know weâd be in this position, so these are the one I brought.â You try to explain yourself cheeks blushing red. He doesnât know why youâre so insecure about the detail. He loves them.
For a quick kiss heâs on his feet hovering over you. âitâs okay, I like my gifts wrapped in bows.â He smirks and the comment has you calling out his name in shock. peck. Heâs back on his knees staring at your core. The bow is a detail heâll miss but heâd gotta take them off. Fuck is all he can think when your cunt is right in front of him, wet. Is this where heâs meant to die, right in your cunt from suffocation cause he wonât be able to detach himself from you.
Your legs are planted on his shoulder, your ass just at the edge of the bed. When he first swipes his tongue through your folds, it takes you by surprise. Gosh you missed him being right there.
âfuckâ you whimper the sound not being able to be masked. Your slick, probably mixed with his saliva, drips down your cunt, down his chin. His nose is so deep in it that some of your juices run up his nose. Is this how fucking cocaine sniffers feel? Â He canât wait till his cock is buried snuggly it. He sniffs in, on purpose this time, takin git once more. You grind on his face making him suck harder at your clit. Youâre getting dizzy and gripping hard at the sheets. His nails dig into your thighs harshly, the pain causing pleasure.
Everything is so intense you canât tell apart your orgasm. Fuck you canât be coming this fast from just his tongue. Shit. âJungkook. Donât stopâ You whine the intense feeling approaching quick, your walls tightening and fluttering around his tongue. Jungkookâs so carried away he only realizes youâre coming when your legs are shaking. He drinks everything that leaves and itâs only when youâre pulling his head back from overstimulation that he realizes he should take a breath. Heâs starved can you blame him?
âyouâre so gorgeous baby.â he says peppering kisses on your thighs. âWanna do that again for me.â Heâd absolutely would eat you out for a second time in a row. And youâd love that but you just want to feel him.
Youâre moving up the bed and heâs hovering over you kissing your jaw. Your palms meet his ass in a teasing smack.
âMissed this ass.â You smile under him. jungkook just chuckles. you want to add on but his finger stuffing your tight cunt has you silent, gasping for air.
Jungkook smiles down at your pleasure strained face. âmm? not so talkative now?â
He thinks heâs got you. Then you slide down your hand down his abs, he knows where your hand travels and though itâll destroy his ego, he lets you do it. âso bigâ you bite your bottom lip as you start stroking him, using your own juices as lubricate. Heâs walls are falling. Your hand wrapped around him, has him burying his moans in the croak of your neck.
Itâs a competition huh? he loves those second and fucking your cunt first.
Youâre stroking him in his pants and heâs pumping his fingers in your cunt. Heâs kissing you to hide his moans. Itâs a fucking competition and heâs losing. He canât lose. His hand leaves your cunt to grab at your wrist. You stop. He pulls you away from him. if you went on any longer, heâd be done for and the night wouldnât end the way he wants. He hasnât been touched in a year, unless itâs talking about those times you sexted, but it doesnât count. It feels different when itâs your hands.
âwhyâd you do that?â you whine.
âIf you did that you wouldnât have gotten the orgasms I have left for you.â You donât respond. you wonât argue, you do want them.
His fingers are back to pumping and even sooner than before your climax approaches. He wishes he could count just how much you flutter around his finger but heâs too busy looking at your face, pleasure written all over it. and its pride that fills him, knowing heâs the one giving it to you.
Jungkook moves away and you watch how he licks his fingers clean. The way he smiles at you after, is disgustingly hot.
âTake off your pants.â You tell him.
âYou take off your shirt.â He reciprocates, youâd forgotten youâd even been wearing anything.
Jungkook is spoiled by the sight before him, your chest sprawled out for him to taste. So, he leans down and wraps his tongue around a nipple. His hand lost at the other side. You love all the foreplay, really, but you want him. youâve been thinking about it for forever.
âJungkook.â You call. He hums saying you have his attention. âI want you.â
Thereâs nothing more he wants.
âWant you too baby.â He says grabbing his cock and aligning it with your entrance. Then he remembers.
âfuckâ he whispers. You sit up and wander what has him holding back.
âwhat?â
âI donât have a condom.â He knows he doesnât have one, itâd be weird, itâs not like he was coming on this trip expecting to fuck you.
âWhy?â he stares at you confused.
âI didnât expect fucking to be on the itinerary.â
Oh yeah, you laugh at himself.
âDo you?â
âNope. Why would I have them.â He just shrugs his shoulders.
Heâs gonna lose it. âAre you on the pill?â itâs his only option.
Thatâs when you shake your head. âGot off when we broke up.â
Okay so what is he gonna do, his cock hard and your cunt right in front of him.
âJungkook come on you can pull out.â You whine pulling him forward.
She shakes his head. âgod no. I almost lost my mind from your hand. Itâd lose it in your pussy.â You smile, you shouldnât be laughing cause you wonât be able to fuck. But you just canât help but smile at the fact that he almost lost himself just from your hand. Youâve got no clue on what to do. You really need to fuck him.
âWait--â he looks at you. âThis is a loverâs cabin.â You say but he waits for you to elaborate and make sense.
âwouldnât they have condoms in the cupboard or something.â He didnât think of that.
So, as you stand you walk over to the cupboard roughly open it almost tipping it over. âBingo!â you celebrate pulling out a long string of condoms. Your saving grace.
You carefully pull out one and toss it to jungkook.
âRelax arenât they the oneâs you usually use,â you say when you see the look on his face. They do look like theyâve just been purchased and placed. Heâs so thankful right now. He leans against the head board and you watch how he gracefully he strokes himself and slips it on, your mouth drools but youâre too needy. Youâll do that another day.
âCome ride cow girl.â He welcomes you when heâs all done. You stretch your legs over him, centering yourself. His hands are quick to spread across your ass, landing a light tap.
He helps you centre himself at your entrance. His brows scrunch together when he feels your tight warmth slide down him. he definitely isnât going to last long, maybe heâll hold on till you come but after that is not promised.
His hand loosely holds at your throat, just enough to tilt it back slightly and leave wet kisses and marks everywhere on your skin.
You sliding up and down him feels great but he couldnât help himself but move his fingers to touch your clit. In pure pleasure youâre wrapping your arms around him and kissing him. you love this position, how he nudges at your back, how intimate it feels, the way youâre so close after being so far away. The cold is barely in mind. Jungkook canât express how much heâs missed you.
You love it.
But what you love more is how he pulls at your hair, just softly. âLove fucking my cock huh?â he asks but youâre unable to answer his hips jutting up into you with great speed. Jungkook could get carried away with the way your boob bounce but he chooses to say focus. âYou like that huh?â he smirks but your eyes are closed, the pleasure of his intense strokes taking you out.
âYeah, love fucking you kook.â You whimper out.
Heâs thrusting harder and youâre moaning louder. âyou look so pretty taking me baby. Wanna fuck you forever.â
You wish you.
Your body melts into his as youâre coming again, jungkook fucking into you for his own high which follows after yours. When he catches his breath, heâs laying you down and beside you just after throwing the filled condom.
âIâm gonna get the bath started.â He says planting a quick kiss on your shoulder.
Youâre too drained to stand so when heâs back to come get you youâre dozing off. âcome on baby Iâve got to get you cleaned up.â
You groan. âThen after a I can make you cocoa.â
âIâm so tired kook.â You whine.
âI knowww.â he coos. Next thing you know heâs lifting you, bridal style. âitâs okay Iâve got you.â
âHmm. Donât move.â Jungkook whines when you threaten to stand and start your day. You two have already slept in because of your late-night endeavours.
âI have to kook. We have so much for our day.â
âUgh! Fine. But first give me your hand.â He demands the action has you confused but you give it to him. when he has it, heâs giving you a billion kisses. âI love you.â He doesnât think itâs too soon causeâwell he doesnât know it just felt right to say.
âI love you too now let me go.â He makes sure not to unhand you until you say it more âmeaningfullyâ according to him.
---
You and jungkook decided to retry ice skating (you were hell bent on not going skiing.)
As youâre skating jungkook slides to the half wall, after telling you he has to take a call. You shoo him away after telling youâll be fine alone (for the meantime).
âAny news?â jungkook was nervous when he got the call from Namjoon. This is a very important call from him, it determines what the hell heâs gonna choose. Quit or get transferred.
âYeah. itâs been approved.â Jungkook is still for a moment.
âSeriously?â it almost feels like a dream.
âYeah, had to do a lot of convincing but they agreed.â Heâs so grateful for Namjoon. Heâs gonna miss him. Jungkook looks over to you, gliding not great but better, and youâre smiling this time. So, heâs happy. Youâre happy.
âThank you, man,â
Namjoon smiles, he knows how much this means. âNo problem.â The call cuts.
This just seals a lot âkook look out.â He pockets his phone and as heâs turning to you, you slam into him. You havenât gotten to the knowing how to stop just yet. Maybe next time.
âYou okay, baby.â He says holding onto you by your waist
You let out a dramatic breath that has him smiling. âYeah, but Iâm getting kinda tired.â You say out of breath and letting your weight fall into his arms.
âIâm getting hungry too.â Youâve spent a good amount of time ice skating so you decide to leave it for next time.
--
âwhatâs the plan for tonight.â He asks as you eat.
âHmm. For the first time I donât know.â You both laugh. âWe could go out for dinnerâohhh the hot tub--.â You forgot about it cause none of you ever wanted to use it, honestly you didnât even expect the place to have a hot tub.
âI like the sound of that.â
The steam of the hot tub hovers lazily on the surface of the water. The steam curls around jungkook as his gaze locks on you. Body dry cause you havenât gotten in yet. You walk onto the deck, the dim but still bright enough lights radiant off your skin, as though the sun has come to pay him a visit at night.
His breath is caught.
The bikini hugs you in all the ways that made his thoughts falter, the curves of your body illuminated by the soft glow of the light. He swallows hard, his mouth dry despite being surround by water. You make him weak, so much that he looks only at you, even though your attention is else were. You try to find a place to hook your towels.
And then you turn around to smile at him in victory of finding a place to hang them. He nods acknowledging but no paying attention.
He leans back slightly, the water lapping at his shoulders as his eyes roam you, mesmerized. Thereâs some thing unworldly about you, something he canât quite put into words. It wasnât just the way you looked, that made him trip for you. It was the way you carried yourself, the way your body swayed as you moved closer to him.
His arms immediately reach out to envelope you. âEnjoying the view?â you tease, your voice relaxing into the tub and his warmth.
The chuckle he releases is low, âyou know I am.â
Your giggle like a melody. You wrap your arms around him and he loses his stability for a second before regaining it. âcareful.â He murmurs to you, a slow smile spreading across his face. âI might drown.â
âI wouldnât want that.â you peck his lips.
You relax for a while just taking in the night and each other presence.
Jungkook has been meaning to ask, the question eating at his mind. Â âDo you want to go back to Korea with me?â it sounds like a dumb question, you came together so you will be leaving together.
But the double meaning lies within and heâs desperate to know your answer.
âWhat are you saying?â you coo at him. âArenât we already going back together.â Youâre talking about the tangible stuff, the tickets, the plane, the flying, even the landing and going home. But he doesnât mean that.
After pecking your shoulder water sticking to his lips, he explains. âI donât mean physically.â
You stare down at him eyes softening. âkookâ you realize the seriousness of his question. And for a second jungkook senses scepticism. So, he panics.
âIf itâs bout my job, Iâm working on it.â His voice is quick.
That was a fear of yours, even more that he wouldnât want to move. Jungkook has thought about it, the move was a rush decision he never spoke to anyone about it to ask their opinion or whatever. And honestly the move didnât bring him much joy, besides the opportunity to adventure Jeju. But apart from that he was away from his family, his friends and you. Everything that made his life.
âSeriously?â you say more shocked than anything else.
âYeah, Namjoon called me. My transfer got approved.â
 You gasp the water swashing from your movement. âdonât lie to meâ
He laughs. âIâm not.â
âI thought you said getting it approved is hard.â Youâre finding this so hard to believe.
âIt is, I guess I got lucky.â
You squeal moving in to hug him.
âWhen did you start all this.â Itâs along process so he had to start early.
âHonestly before we broke up. I wanted to surprise you if it got approved. But then-â you shush him from going on further.
âSo, what would have you done if it didnât get approved.â Your tone drops.
Jungkook sighs looking around in thought. âwouldâve fucking quit.â itâs funny how easy the idea is for him, former him would have struggled with the question. âIâm tired of being so far from you.â
âSame.â He places a longer and soft kiss on your lips.
âSo, you wanna go back with me?â His voice is playful, as he looks up at you through wet lashes.
âMhm.â You smile, leaning slightly closer to him, your fingertips tracing lazy circles on his shoulder. âI wanna go everywhere with you.â
The words hang in the air for a moment, warm and intimate, as his lips lifts into a small, boyish grin. âWe can arrange that.â
Jungkook doesnât mind being patched to your side like a little purse dog. In fact, the way he leans into you now, his hand slipping around your waist as if it were second nature, says heâd prefer it. His thumb grazes your hip absentmindedly, a small gesture that feels both possessive and endearing.
âIâm gonna miss it.â you say leaning into Jungkook's shoulder with a pout. You wait patiently for your flight. âFeels like we just started the trip.â
Jungkook reaches over to cup your hand in his. He then interlocks your fingers and brings it to his lips; the action causes you to smile softly. He really likes to do that. Itâd never been a trait of his before, so youâre intrigued, to why he does it all of a sudden. âWe can come back one day. together.â
âYeah together.â You reassure. You like this. Like having him with you.
[3 months later]
âJimin if youâre gonna wear that to my fucking wedding youâre not coming.â You announce to a jimin too focused on the light blue suit heâs in. in the mirror you can spot his cheeky grin. Heâs not gonna wear a freaking light blue suit, itâs not on the colour scheme, plus he doesnât like how it makes him look.
He turns to look at jungkook whoâs standing on his own pedestal looking into the mirror. Touching and teasing at the suit. âJungkook youâre not gonna let her do that right?.â Jungkook just shrugs his shoulders at jimin. Heâs not pleased with the answer. He knew the dude was down bad, but not this down bad. âBro!â
âsheâs the boss.â Jungkook raises his hands in surrender and you smirk in your seat.
âCome on manâŚstandup.â he fists at Jungkook who just laughs. As Jimin is stepping out to get out of the suit (he stayed so long in it you thought he might actually want to wear it.) and get changed, you swat him with a magazine and heâs quick to running out not wanting you to land another hit.
Now alone in the dressing room you walk up to jungkook. You lean your chin on his shoulder, your hands finding there way to his chest. He welcomes them with his own. âYou look so handsome.â Your voices hums sweetly by his ear. Jungkook lifts up both of your hands to place soft and warm kisses on them. The action has you blushing red. The ring on your finger and indication of why he liked to do it before. Plus, now, he just enjoys it., it makes you blush and he likes that.
âMhm.â He hums against your wrists. âYou like it?â
âI love it.â You take a hundredth glance at a preview of what he might wear at your wedding. If he chooses itâs what he wants. You love the cut on him. the colour complimenting his skin, and the style shows off his physique, not too much, but not too little. But all the buttons on the vest and shirt are gonna give you some trouble undoing.
Jungkook stares at you completely enamoured at the way youâre looking at it. You should be looking at him like that. âI think you might love the suit more than me.â He turns abruptly causing you to fall into his chest. He catches and keeps you stable with his firm hand on your lower back.
You place one hand on his chest and the other around his neck, bringing you much closer. âI might just.â Your lips could meet easily with how close you are. But you donât move them and jungkook pouts at how you deny him the opportunity.
âIâm gonna take it off, not gonna let you love it more.â He nudges his nose with yours.
âTake it off.â
âJeon Yn! I forgot how freaky you are.â You roll your eyes at how heâs already given you his last name, you like the sound of it though. Reminds you of how real this is, youâre not dreaming.
Trying to tease him more you move by his ear to whisper, âNot here though.â
Jungkook is biting his lower lip. âWe should hurry then.â he moves to kiss your shoulder, your off-the-shoulder top giving him leeway to kiss your skin directly. He peppers more kisses from your shoulder to your neck before  you get carried away youâre prompting for him to turn around. He does, though reluctantly.
You giggle.
âDo you like it though?â your voice turns serious, as much as you like it and how you just want to see him in it the whole day. If he likes it matters.
âYeah, it makes me look soâŚhusband.â He smiles boyishly as he winks at you in the mirror.
âOh-gosh.â You push yourself away from him to get back to your seat. Youâre not gonna be here all day.
He turns to face you. Still standing on the pedestal. âWhen do I get to see you in your dressâ His teeth play with his lip ring as he asks curiously. The thought of you in the gown exciting him.
âWhen I walk down the aisle.â You stare blankly, no room for discussion. And he doesnât, youâve been quite stern about him not seeing you in any bridal wear until the wedding. Which he doesnât mind, he can wait.
âMake sure itâs a ball gown so that I can slip under and hide.â He gestures his hands to elaborate what he means.
You shake your head. Itâs not your style, maybe when you were a child, but youâve grown. âIâm not wearing a ball gown.â
Ditching the jacket, he places it next to you and stands closing your legs between his. He lowers himself so your nose is touching his. His arms trap you between him and the couch. You didnât think he was not gonna get that kiss right? He kisses you softly, then again. Then a little harder the third time, this one lasting seconds longer. You hold on his waist for stability. He kisses you once more just for the sake.
âIâm very sure youâll look divine in whatever you pick, baby.â
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: so that's that. I hope I've fixed your broken heart from I-redo. there are scenes that i couldn't fit in. Yes of course there are other activities they did, but if i wrote it all it would be boring and too long and would probably be pushed to next month. i wish i could've written more fluff but idk.
i will allow for story drabble request if you guys want that.
but yeah thanks, for reading, liking and commenting. much love. wishing you a happy new year.
story idea copyright of keen-li, 30.12.24
#fanfic#jungkook x reader#jeon jungguk#jungkook x y/n#jungkook#bts#jeon jungkook#jungkook au#jungkook fanfic#keen li#keenli updates#kpop fanfic#Namjoon#jungkook scenarios#bts jungkook#jungkook bts#jungkook angst#jungkook imagine#bangtan#jungkook smut#jeongguk smut#jeongguk#jeon jeongguk#jeongguk x reader#jeongguk fic#Fic:Merry!Ex-mas
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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Jimmy Novak (Supernatural) Additional Tags: Post-Finale, psychiatric hospital, Amnesia, Unrequited Castiel/Dean Winchester, Truckers, Monsters Summary:
Jimmy Novak wakes up.
#my fanfic#supernatural#jimmy novak#welcome to my cringe era#JK I've always been in my cringe era#Now that I can do weird formatting I'm going to finish that Hector Isaac fic
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