#jesus that's so chaotic and random wtf

[aaa-sia]

literally my forst tought when i saw the title was "maknae first 💯"

that's something i love about chris and i'm so devasted after reading innie's ver of it!

i feel like he would do this because a) why wouldn't he? and b) he is js too sweet to not return all the love he gets from the boys

and a random thought - he does act shy around the boys, but the moment he sees you... oh, how tables have turned! his s/o would be deff soooooo shy around him oml

Jeongin soft thoughts? 🙏🏻

Collab with @zehina

Thank you so much for the many sweet thoughts you shared with me and let me use/adapt for this. Without you this post would've been rather short compared to the others🖤🖤

Jeongin loves to tease his hyungs with disgusted faces and slipping out of their hugs. But with you, whenever you're alone, that changes drastically. Innie turns putty in your hands, letting you trace your fingers all over his face, knowing you'll stop at his dimples for a while. They're cute, just like him, so who can blame you for that? A dopey smile grows on his lips whenever you play with his hair and massage his scalp, helping him relax after a long day.

Innie has a very specific pet name for you, which he hasn't said out loud for a long while. It's like his little secret, adoring you from afar, his heart growing at the fact that you're his. One day, he slips, muttering it against your hair when he's already sleepy. You pull back, gaping at him, and his eyes widen in pure shock when he realizes why. You don't dare to tease him about it, though, knowing he'd die from embarrassment.

If the boys wouldn't know better, they'd suspect you are just a pair of bickering siblings. The loving teasing, playful cursing, and playful fights definitely make it seem like you are. But the way you two get cuddly and share soft kisses proves everyone wrong.

Innie is used to being babied by his hyungs all the time, and if he's honest, he doesn't mind it one bit. Once he met you, he found someone he could baby for once. And oh, how he loves doing it. He takes upon Chan's tradition of "maknae first" and always makes sure you get the first bite, the first sip, the best view, the cuddliest blanket, or the most loving hug. In his eyes, you deserve nothing but the best.

Innie gets drunk faster than you do so it's your job to take care of him when he is. He trusts you with this, knowing you'll get him back home or safely to bed when he had a little too much. He gets so clingy when he's drunk it's adorable. You can't even remember the amount of times he has been hugging you and planting drunk kisses on your face, missing your lips with an adorable giggle. You've lost count of the times he's drunkenly declared his love for you in front of everyone, his words slurred but sincere, his arms wrapped tightly around you as if he never wants to let go. It's endearing, and even though he's a lightweight, you wouldn't change a thing about these heartfelt moments.

Innie, the baby bread who has a knack for acting like a grandpa amongst the bunch and you cannot say I am wrong. While he is a menace, yes, he isn’t one like Seungmin. No, this boy wouldn’t tease you for acting cute or taking care of him, instead, he would try his best to not be affectionate with you in public. A hard battle, one he often fails. But who could blame him, when you look that adorable, with such a sweet expression on your face? Certainly not him. So whenever you brush your fingers against his as you two walk, don’t talk about how fast he laces your fingers together, or how he silently takes off his coat if you seem cold. Let him be the little tsundere he is, otherwise he’ll pout, and you don’t want that at all.

Innie isn’t a big fan of skinship, click on any stray kids video if you need proof. But you’re an exception to that, to a certain degree. If you ask nicely enough, he’ll wrap you in his arms and have an all night long cuddle session. Other times, he wraps his arm around you protectively, not even a hiccup in the story he had been telling you, as if it was natural to him. Naturally, since you seem to be getting the VIP baby bread services that the boys aren’t getting, they all act incredibly jealous around you, all in a playful way. They tease both of you about this, which only results in their maknae getting flustered and chasing them around with heated cheeks and loud shouts. You don’t mind this at all honestly, their loud laughter and an embarrassed, cuddly boyfriend being your reward.

He would pay for your things, as expensive or cheap as they may be, he wouldn’t care at all. No, he would confidently raise his card towards the cashier, leaving you gaping up at him, admittedly a bit frustrated that you couldn’t pay for your bubble tea once again. And if you dared voice this, he would simply smirk at you, destroying your defences with that foxy smile of his. Damn him and his charisma.

When Jeongin plans a date, he makes sure every detail is perfect, from the timing to the location. His meticulous nature shows through in these moments, especially when he tries to incorporate activities he knows you'll love. He might feign indifference about the choices, saying things like "whatever you prefer," but you can tell he’s invested by how eagerly he observes your reactions. If you mention a fleeting interest in art, the next date might involve a quiet afternoon at a gallery, followed by coffee at a small café that he had scouted out weeks in advance. These thoughtful gestures don't go unnoticed, and they only deepen your appreciation for his caring and attentive ways.

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

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[why-am-i-here-someone-save-me]

This is a random story about a group project of screaming that just happened like 5 min ago.

WARNING: SWEARING A LOT OF EM

For more context here are my friends that I'll refer to as:

T

the tomboy of the group. Chaotic and loud friend but is really friendly. Oh- also meme material

C

Calm and collected. Not exactly the mom friend but they hang out every now and then. Also REALLY good at art

G

The good friend. they always make sheets and explain to us about the subject. Help with subject that we struggle with (looking at YOU history and meth- math)

R

The one that roasted everyone lmao- ok it's more of an insult than a roast but idk what to call them but yeah they're pretty cool

And me UP :D

The....one that somehow gets into this group...? Idk what to describe myself.

This is basically how the conversation goes lol-

UP: ok-who will write? Cuz my handwriting is shit-

T: hey-

UP: NO

T: :(

R: UP got a point. T handwriting is not a doctor but a FUCKING SNAKE-

T: UP R is bullying me again-

C: ok Shut up. R you'll write most of the assignment. And T... You'll write SOME of it.

G:I'll help :D wait did you bring the book? Y'ALL BRING NOTHING HERE?

UP: I got the book the highlighter the pencils-

So T and R got to write while G told them what to write and me and C 'decorate' it

R: UP YOU'RE COVERING THE DAMN BOOK-

UP: IM SORRY-

C: UP Your flowers is so fucking weird-

UP: IM SORRY-

*next page*

C: UP STOP FUCKING DRAW STARS YOUR ART SKILL IS SHIT JUST SIT THERE LIKE A CABBAGE

R:T WTF? JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE BI DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T DRAW A STRAIGHT LINE- (ok I made that one up sorry if this offend you)

T: IM SORRY-

R:YOU ******** GO SUCK A **** *****

The teacher behind us: ....what-

It's a disaster.

Ok now for the genshin related stuff-

T: doesn't have a genshin account but they're a SIMP

C: have an account but kinda abandon It- ar 14 I think? They like chongyun and call yae ears the chicken neck thing- I forgot English

G: my genshin buddy. Likes all the cute stuff. Main kokomi keqing yae but mostly kokomi currently building shogun.

R: doesn't have a genshin account cuz potato phone.

But imagine if instead of 1 creator. There's 5? And we are just like power rangers or something lol-

R: who is confused about wtf is going on

T: who is simping for zhongli and ayato

G: who asks for kokomi signature and (tries to) touch gorou tail

C: who is hugging qiqi but have no idea about how the world works

Lastly: me who is showing venti how jumping off a cliff is faster than gliding-

If imposter au we would definitely be dead why?

Only 2 of the group knows most of genshin knowledge

We're noisy AF

archons vs humans who can run faster?

W e a k.

This is the order of who can survive the least to the most imposter au.

UP

2 words medical condition. I won't say much but walking is hard. (And copium that my friendship lv is enough)

T

Noisy and because of their friendly nature. They might not survive

G

Physically weak but can use genshin knowledge

R

Although survival instinct is important. The lack of genshin knowledge is fatal flaw

C

Knows a bit of genshin and is the strongest of all of us.

Btw this is not a request lol just a random thought. But if you want to write about it you have my permission lol- ( even if you do how do u name them? I just give you random letters)

And yeah that's it.

…Jesus Christ that was one hell of a trip just to read 0-0

[the-littlefangirl]

TFATWS episode 2 rewatch commentary

We should've guessed John Walker was going to be an asshole the moment it was revealed he played football in high school

That remix of star spangled man is my villain origin story JEEEEEEESUS i want to punch something

They literally mass produced a Walker action figure in two weeks what the fuck

"Your new Captain America" GAAAAAAAAAAh * angry noises *

"For those who aren't familiar with John's resume" thank you GMA lady

My face during that whole speech: wtf and indignation intensify

Bucky's face: yep same.

Imagine being Sam and everywhere you go you're seeing your one (1) mistake spit in your face overandoverandover again that's g r e a t

Tbh that sambucky reunion was anticlimatic as fuck but i actually liked that, it was like WELL HERE WE GO AGAIN they can’t look at each other for 5 seconds before they need to start bickering

"You think it didn't break my heart" SAM SWEETIE

YeAH TELL HIM SAM

The way I know this clip by heart help me. It's still hilarious but it's even better now that I know that they literally just met and they're already bickering can you PLEASE stop you children

T H E  B I G  T H R E E

Spoiler it was a thing

Love how nonchalant Joaquín is about this entire situation lmao

"You sure about that"

*Fakes smiles* yeah, * screams *

Congrats at least you didn't rip your arm off this time that's what I call progress

is he… is he wearing high wasted skinny (jeans) combat pants?

Redwing i'm sorry for what's about to happen :(

"Look at you all stealthy" PLEASE

"it's white wolf, actually" n e r d

SAM MATERIALIZING OUT OF THIN AIR SAFHAJSFHA this is the second time that happened it’s so funny

H E LLO H O W A R E Y O U?

GOOD! WHAT DID I MISS! NOTHING

They're literally 5 CHILDREN CHILDREN PLEASE STOP

AND I CAN FLY WHO GIVES A SHIT fsdjhfadjkfh

L e t  m  e   s e e

Four

Yeah

Five!

YeaH

“So they're strong. W h a t e v e r”

SFHJDASKFA we're superheroes ma'am vibes

3 supersoldiers what could possibly go wrong

REDWING MY BELOVED FAREWELL

"I always wanted to do that" *gets punched in the face* you deserved that

YEAH BABEE look at those wings

Why do the knockoff duo have a special handshake jesus fucking christ i hate them

“SAM JOHN WALKER CAPTAIN AMERICA” Sam: *Glares harder*

Sam is having a very shitty day

So are we going to ignore that Bucky did t h e  t h i n g with the shield? Ok? Ok.

You can't tell me he wasn't thinking of just grabbing it like a toy and not returning it in the middle of the fight sfj

LOOK AT THOSE W I N G S

*whispers* t h e e arm thing

*Stares at the wall* I CAN'T WITH THAT SEQUENCE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEJSFHJASFAH PLEASE they didn't have to go that far with the grunting noises PLEASE

John Walker getting his ass served is something that can be so personal<3

Also, I like that they've now established that he CAN lose a fight, which makes me wonder if he's also going to use his political influence as leverage against sam and bucky once he goes berserk

"It's one of the big three" "Aliens, androids or wizards" "pretty sure" lmao yeah I don't think that's the vindication Sam was looking for

"Look, I've done the work, okay" SHUT THE FUUUUUUCK UP

"You ever jump on top of a grenade" bucky finding out about it in the middle of a briefing during the war fic trope intensifies

"It's a reinforced helmet" well you're fucking losing the point there then you naive clown

Captain "Kind of the government" America??? NOPE NOPE GOODBYE N O P E NOOOOOOOOOOOPE

"Usually said by the people with the resources" daaamn

“I'm Battlestar. John's partner" A clown that’s what you are

Bucky: YES I'VE REACHED MY LIMIT STOP THE FUCKING CAR

"It'd be a whole lot easier if I had Cap's wingmen on my side" FUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUU

"It's always that last line" yeP

Erin Kellyman is??? So pretty???

"The GRC care more about the people who came back than the ones who never left" love how they keep putting those random bits since otherwise their position sounds??? Extremely reasonable?? BUT THEY ARE V I O L E N T  R E V O L U T I O N E R S fuck off

"Let's take the shield, Sam" oh you BET he's been spiraling thinking about 3224 strategies on how to steal the shield during that flight

Sharon name drop:)

YES I KNOW YOU WERE ON THE RUN FOR TWO YEARS I'D REALLY HAVE WANTED TO SEE MORE OF IT JFC @marvel i hate you so much

The whole Baltimore sequence * chef's kiss *

ELI SWEETIE

Friendly reminder that Isaiah Bradley won a fight against the Winter Soldier. Proceed.

"I'm not a killer anymore" bucky sweetie

"You think you can wake up one day and decide who you wanna be" OOOOF

Carl Lumbly's acting f u c k

"How could nobody bring him up" SAM SWEETIE

I'm going to go ballistic now excuse me:))

This whole scene is so well written jesus fucking christ

Have you praised Anthony Mackie's performance today?

Twitter is this clear enough for you?????

Tbh i'm actually surprised marvel allow them to go there even if the situation didn't escalate.

They put the tiiiiniest handcuffs on bucky lmfao

How many more "bucky"s from Walker's mouth until someone punches him?

"He's too valuable of an asset to have tied up" YEAH BEEP BEEP ALARMS GOING OFF RIGHT THE FUCK NOW UHM THOSE WERE SOME… WORD CHOICES… THAT WERE USED… fuck you Walker

"It's something I use with couples" oh coME ON

SFHAJSDFH this is ridiculous i love it

Malcolm Spellman: * agressively takes notes on Stackie's interviews *

SOUL-GAZING EXERCISE LMFAO

THEY'RE SO STUPID I HATE THEM

Sambucky: *chaotic leg positioning*

Dr Raynor: WOW ALL RIGHT

I love that the staring contest thing is the conclusion of the bucky staring joke lmao

AND DON'T SAY SOMETHING CHILDISH

this is literally not about you bucky

"Maybe this is something you or Steve will never understand. But can you accept that I did what I thought was right?" YEAH!!!! 

Why is everyone, on the show and outside of it too, acting as if Sam made that decision of out the blue and didn't think about it for six months straight, and look what happened! He got fucking played! He's feeling enough remorse as it is jfc

"Thanks Doc for making it weird I feel much better" LMFAO

Oh you KNOW that the shoulder clap is going to come back unironically and it's going to be soft as fuck

"I feel better" "I feel awful" props for the honesty boys!

"It wouldn't make sense to work with you" more like you're the fucking government's lap dog and we wouldn't touch that with a twelve feet long pole. Let's fucking go Sam let's fucking go

10/10 building of Walker actually being a fucking asSHOLE

The Power Broker name drop!

Yes Bucky SHOULD beat the SHIT out of Zemo. As a treat.

"We're going to go see Zemo" *CLASSICAL MUSIC STARTS BLASTING IN THE BACKGROUND*

Oh I love that last bird eye's shot at the end of the scene

Overall thoughts: This episode was MUCH MUCH better on second viewing. I do think it’s a little bit too fast paced so a lot of things keep happening and there’s not enough time to process them in between?? Again the best moments are the quiet ones like the flight back and the Baltimore scene, but mad props to everyone from jumping between comedy and drama so fucking well. Even though there are, in tone, some very opposite atmospheres in the episode it never feels chaotic, and the situations that happen are very well connected and don’t feel disjointed at all.

The highlight of the episode was definitely the two different ways Sam and Bucky are (avoiding) grieving over Steve, and how his legacy hangs between them at all times. It makes so much sense for Bucky to take the entire situation so personally because Steve was the One thing he knew he could trust, while Sam is trying to see the bigger picture and not just what Steve demanded of him.

Hope that makes sense!

[crazy-little-cool-cat]

Hand in Glove - Chapter 5 | Ben Hardy x OFC

A/N: I’m not even sorry.

Word count: ~2.5K (I’m so consistent wtf) 

Warnings: find out for yourselves I’m not giving it away this time (jk but there will be alcohol use, obviously it’s me, lots of swearing, again it’s me, there will be some chaotic Joe, and it might get angsty, ngl)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

“I’m just saying,” Clara gestured with her pizza slice at Gwil’s sofa, “it’s an abnormally long sofa.”

“He’s an abnormally long man, babe,” Annabelle shrugged.

“I have a lot of legs, okay?” Gwil groaned.

“I’ve never seen a sofa that can fit four people so comfortably.”

“Who said anything about comfort?” Ben snorted, “we’re packed like sardines.”

“I’m pretty comfy, actually.” Joe smiled happily.

“Not complaining, myself,” Annie looked at Ben’s handsome profile and patted his knee, “Gwil? You’re good?”

“I’m with Ben on this one,” He looked over the blond man at his cousin, “The only reason we’re so crammed up here is because Joe insisted on sitting next to you!”

“Because Clara is in my favourite chair!”

“Oh, so it’s fine to park your butt on my lap, but not on Clara’s?”

“No, look at her,” Joe smiled warmly at the lithe blonde girl, “she’s so dainty and fragile.”

“And I’m not?”

“No, dear,” Joe booped Annie on the nose, “you’re a clusterfuck. A shitstorm. A force of nature.”

“That is the most touching compliment I have ever received!”

“Guys, will you shut the fuck up already?” Rami snapped, “Jesus!”

“Uh,” Joe tapped his chin with his finger, his eyes cast up to the ceiling, “how about… no.”

“Joe, really,” Lucy grumbled, “stop.”

“Well, fine,” Joe caved, “but only because you asked so nicely!”

The dimly lit living room was finally engulfed in relative silence, the only sounds coming from the speaker. The group had gone through two films before Gwil needed a break to stretch his legs, Clara needed to visit the loo and Lucy and Rami broke from sucking each other’s faces long enough to take in the hilarious scene that has unfolded in front of them.

“What? How?” Rami’s eyes grew even larger.

“Stop asking questions and just give me your bloody phone, Rami!” Lucy hissed.

With the camera pointed at the sofa, Lucy couldn’t contain her shit-eating grin as she snapped pictures of the four friends. On each end were Joe and Gwil, Ben and Annabelle lodged between them. Although they sat right next to one another, Annabelle had fallen asleep with her head on Joe’s shoulder, cuddled up to him, while Ben passed out on Gwil’s shoulder, resting his hand on Annabelle’s thigh. Joe’s head lay peacefully on top of Annabelle’s, his arm wrapped around her shoulders.

“Do not post that,” Gwil said with a warning tone, “don’t even think about it-”

“Oh, I won’t,” Lucy smiled mischievously, “not yet, that is.”

“Lucy -”

“It’s a cute picture, alright?” Lucy squeaked, “you would have done the same!”

“Aw!” Clara gushed when she returned to the living room, “look at them!”

“This is a ticking time bomb,” Rami pointed at the sofa, “mark my words.”

###

Annabelle could feel the bass from the music rumbling in her internal organs, it was that loud and low. She shuffled through the mass of dancing bodies on the floor, adamant to find her friends back at their table without having a drink spilt on or being stepped on by a random, dancing drunk.

“Oof! Sorry!” she called at the chest she walked into and shrieked happily upon looking up at the person attached to it, “Joe!”

“Am I that drunk or are you really here?” he jokingly poked at her shoulder, “what are the chances?!”

“I know!” Annabelle had to shout for Joe to hear her, even as he leaned down to her, “what are you even doing here?”

“Didn’t Ben tell you we were coming out here tonight?”

“No! He said you were going to a club for someone’s birthday but he didn’t say where!”

“Well, now you know!” Joe straightened back up and mimed for having a drink, smiling brightly when Annie nodded furiously and took his hand. She didn’t want to get lost in the crowd as they headed for the bar. “What are you doing here?”

“Just celebrating an old friend’s birthday,” Annabelle bopped along to the music, “we have our own little table area and everything.”

“Yeah? Maybe we’ll join you, then,” Joe turned and ordered two shots of Vodka, “ours is so boring!”

“Oh, you just want to pick up my friends,” Annabelle smirked, “I know your game, Joe Mazzello.”

“You have hot friends!” he laughed, “I can’t help it!”

“That’s true,” Annabelle shrugged and curtsied a little when Joe handed her the shot, “cheers!”

They both slammed the drinks back and Joe ordered two more, turning to lean against the bar with his back to it.

“Where’s everyone else?” Annabelle looked around her but could only see flickering lights, random faces and bodies of strangers and the occasional glimpse of her friends at their table.

“They’re probably around here somewhere,” Joe shrugged and handed her one more shot, “ready?”

“Bottom’s up!” Annabelle smiled and downed her drink, “are you trying to get me drunk?”

“That would be impossible,” Joe scoffed, “you have the tolerance of a functioning alcoholic.”

“I really do!”

###

Annabelle and Joe have lost count of the amount of drinks they have shared. They danced their hearts out to whatever song was playing. Screaming the lyrics at each other, doing little “dance-offs”, going absolutely crazy together. They made anyone around them laugh hysterically as the DJ kept playing more and more 90’s hits remixes and cheesy club songs.

When a particular song started playing, Annabelle couldn’t contain her excitement. She dragged Clara to dance with her to the tune of their song, forgetting all about her former dance partner. Joe took the opportunity to pour some more drinks for everyone and grabbed a glass of water. Spotting his cast mates searching for him in the crowd, he waved at them frantically with both hands to flag them down and call them over.

“Where in the bloody hell have you been?!” Gwil smacked Joe’s arm, “and why won’t you answer any of my texts?”

“What texts?” Joe fished his phone out of his pocket and grimaced, “oh.”

“Wait, are those -”

“Annabelle and Clara?” Joe smiled proudly, “yes, and these are their friends.”

“Wow.”

“I know, right?”

“Did you know they were here?” Gwil waved at his cousin as she hung on to Clara for dear life, losing her balance as they danced, “shit, how much has she had?”

“About one trillion shots,” Joe shrugged, “I tried to cut her off -”

“I highly doubt that.”

Ben walked over to where Annabelle danced, wrapped his arms around her from behind and dipped his head down to whisper something in her ear. Annabelle leaned back into Ben’s body, letting him sway with her for a while, before he whispered something else in her ear and went to grab a seat by the table.  

It wasn’t long before Annabelle’s friends were fawning over Gwil and Ben, who seemed to enjoy the attention. Rami and Lucy showed up soon after, dancing with Annie and Joe for a while. Not long after, Jamie walked over with a girl under each arm and plopped down on a vacant loveseat, utterly hammered.

“Damn, you lot don’t half-ass anything,” Ben chuckled when he took in the dishevelled looking girls Jamie had brought along, “I’m impressed.”

“Oh, that’s just regular Jamie behaviour,” Clara laughed, “just like that,” she pointed at Annie and Joe dancing seductively to each other to the blaring music, “is regular Annie behaviour.”

“Fuck me, she can move.”

“It comes with the territory when you’ve danced since the age of four,” Clara confirmed, “that’s also why there are so many dancing scenes on our show.”

Annie rolled her body as she strutted around Joe, her slinky silver top shining in the lights, the plunging neckline moving with her body. Joe reached over and grabbed her hips, pulling her to him and moving her from side to side to the beat of the music, his hips dipping a little lower with each swing of her hips. His hands roamed from her hips to her abdomen, wrapping tightly around her, pulling her even closer. Annabelle leaned forward with her body and shimmied her hips back a little, grinding up against Joe’s.

“He’s not such a bad dancer, too,” Clara mused, snapping Ben back to reality, “they look good out there.”

“Yeah,” Ben nodded absentmindedly and turned his head to look at his best friend and his girls’ dancing get more and more inappropriate by the seconds.

Joe and Annie interlaced fingers as they moved together, opening and closing their arms to the beat, as if they were rapping. Annabelle laughed, her smile lazy and intoxicated, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against Joe’s chest.

With her hands still in his, Joe wrapped his arms around her and leaned down to tell her something. Annie tilted her head sideways, her hair creating a curtain over Joe’s face. Whatever he had said or done to her in that very moment made Annabelle giggle and bite her bottom lip.

Something within Ben had snapped. He couldn’t just sit around and watch his best friend basically dry humping his girl like that, touching his girl like that, doing whatever it was he was doing with his girl. Even if she wouldn’t admit to it, Annabelle was, in fact, Ben’s girl. He had to shut down pretty girls all night because he didn’t want anyone else but her.  

“Relax, they’re just dancing,” Clara noticed Ben’s clenched fists and grabbed his arm.

Just then, Joe kissed Annabelle’s left temple and let his hands glide down her arms. Ben shook Clara’s hand off his arm and stood up, downing the last of the drink he had in his hand, grimacing at the warm burn in his throat.

“Get the fuck away from her,” Ben growled, stomping his way to the two dancing drunks, “now.”

“What?” Joe looked up, confusion evident on his face, halting his movements.

“Her,” Ben pointed at Annabelle, who looked just as baffled as Joe did, “her, I can expect this from. But you -”

“Ben, what are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, twat,” Ben squared up to Joe, “going after my girl -”

“Hey!” Annabelle called.

“Annie, if you don’t shut the fuck up right now, so help me God -”

“Ben, what are you talking about?” Joe pretty much screamed, not backing down, “we were dancing!”

“I know you were,” Ben chuckled bitterly, “but then you just had to kiss her neck?”

“Had to do what, now?”

“I saw you,” Ben hissed, “I was sitting right there and I saw -”

“Ben -”

“You fucking wanker,” Ben’s lips were in a tight line, his expression livid, as Joe and him got in each other’s personal space like two dogs ready to fight, “you motherfucking -”

“Ben!” Annabelle swooped in between them and pressed her hand to his chest, “Ben, look at me!”

Ben clenched his jaw and looked down at Annie, softening when he saw her big, bright eyes looking up at him. His nostrils flaring, Ben took a few angry breaths, gnawing at the inside of his cheek. Without so much as another word to either Joe or Annie, he turned around and headed for the door.  

###

“What the fuck just happened?” Joe’s eyes followed Ben’s receding back, “what the fuck?!”

They didn’t even see Clara and Gwilym approach them. They were so shocked by Ben’s outburst that all they could do was just stand there and stare blankly.

“You went too far,” Clara’s voice snapped Annie out of her bubble, “he was just fine until homeboy started kissing your neck, there.”

“Kissing my neck? What?”

“What in the bloody hell were you thinking, you moron?!” Gwil shrieked at Joe, “do you really have no self control? At all?”

“I didn’t kiss her neck!” Joe burst out laughing, “oh my God, you all think I kissed her neck?!”

“We all saw you bloody did it!” Clara flicked his forehead, “dipshit!”

“Ouch!” Joe cried, “I really didn’t!”

“He really didn’t,” Annabelle’s heart dropped, “he told me about how he misheard the lyrics to that song when he first heart it and -”

“What you saw, really, was him kissing her head,” Jamie intervened, “she has a very kissable head.”

“Shut up Jamie,” Annabelle hissed.

“But he’s right!” Joe nodded frantically, “fuck!”

Without giving it a second thought, Annabelle went over to the table, grabbed her purse and her phone and made a beeline for the door, praying Ben will still be out there.

“Did I not say it was a ticking time bomb?” Rami sighed.

###

“You’re still here.”

Ben glanced over his shoulder at Annabelle, who ran her hand through her hair, gently tugging at it as she tried to figure out what to say next. He exhaled a puff of smoke and turned back around, silently seething.

“I went too far,” she tried again and sighed when he dipped his head down. Annabelle took a few cautious steps towards him, hoping he won’t simply leave her there or yell at her. Her heart felt like it tried to beat itself out of her chest. “I went too far, I know. But whatever you think you saw in there -”

“Do you want him?” Ben turned around, scratching the side of his nose, glaring at her, “is that it?”

“What?” Annabelle took another step forward, “no! Ben, no!”

“Are you sure?” he snarled, “because you cuddle up to him when I’m right there next to you, you constantly flirt with him -”

“What are you -”

“You bloody admitted you wanted to shag him, Annie,” Ben stomped on his cigarette, “right to my face.”

“Ben, I’m tired of repeating myself,” Annie groaned loudly, “it was just a game!”

“Was it, really?”

“You blithering idiot,” Annabelle hissed, “it’s you I fucking want, you knob!”

They glared at each other under the streetlight, ignoring the world around them.

“So, now what?” Ben pinched the bridge of his nose, “hm?”

“Ben -”

“I can’t share you, Annie,” his whole body seemed to slump, “I’m sorry.”

“No one asked you to.”

“I need to know what we are,” he looked at her and crossed his arms, “what this is.”

“We were taking it slow and -”

“Fuck that,” Ben sneered, “taking it slow? That ship has sailed, Annie.”

“Ben, I’m not good at relationships!”

“So you’d rather keep me in this fucked up limbo than actually admit that we’re in a relationship?”

“Why do we have to announce it to the whole world?”

“Who said anything about the whole world?!” Ben realised he was yelling and lowered his voice, “I was talking about me. Me,” he pointed at his chest, “I need to know what I am to you.”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Not when you’re off dancing like that with my best mate, no.”

“It was just a dance.”

“Not to me, it wasn’t.”

Annie shivered when a cold breeze brushed past her exposed skin and ruffled her hair. Ben wanted nothing more than to reach over and wrap himself around her to give her his warmth, but he knew he had to stand his ground now. He needed to tame the beast. He needed to know for sure.

“I’m yours.” She mumbled.

“Did you say something?”

“I’m yours!”

###

A/N (SURPRISE MUTHAFUCKAS): Don’t hate Joe.

TAGLIST: @ramibaby @xgoingdownx @clara-who @violetpond @sweeterthancheese @drummerqueenrmt @westansstuff @rogerinamainbitch @justgivemethekeys @borhaprogerina @blondecarfucker @cheeseedreams47 @rogerspoison 

[britishchick09]

mädchen in uniform livewatch

remember the movie clip i saw back in february that had me at ‘1930s’, ‘lesbian’ and ‘jewish’? it’s finally time to watch it! during the last saturday of pride month, let’s sit back, relax and find out what gay things are going on in the 30s! (the vhs cover already has a lot going for it!! :D )

we’re off to a great start with the thumbnail! :D

the movie begins at an ordinary boarding school!

such a firm handshake! :o

manuela is 14 and a half years old! nice! :D

aww she’s crying! :(

lady: “na na na!” NAANALAAAN!!!!! :D (jk she said ‘there there’)

with love perhaps? ;)

the girl next to the stairs has a cool whistle! :D (and her voice sounds so echoey)

and a forbidden staircase...? ;)

...whoops!

can’t have mädchen without the uniform! ;)

manuela and marga are such a good couple and we’re only 5 minutes in! :D

aww marga wraps her arm around manuela for most of the walk upstairs :) ♥

daaang that was a long bell! :o

beatles ‘please please me’ and ‘get back’ much? ;)

everyone has a ‘von’ last name! :D

EVERYONE IS LESBIAN/BI????? :o

i love this movie now! :D

OMG BARBS!!!! :o

we’ve returned to the beatles staircase! :D

OMG?????

she’s just getting a uniform from the clothes mistress it’s fine :)

manuela has a sort of deep voice! :o

tightly plaited hair and hairpins aren’t good rules!

OMG THE GIRL WHO HAD MANUELA’S DRESS BEFORE WAS IN LOVE WITH THE TEACHER!!!!!

the teacher is literally irene adler!

aww manuela’s shivering nervously!

did the teacher just say ‘good’ in english? :o

girls are singing not in sync in some record AND IT’S SO ANNOYING OMG

at first i was about to say ‘ew straight girls’ but they might be bi so they’re ok! :)

a crush locker is very impressive! :D

...sex appeal?

KNEW IT!!!! :D (and she said it in english!)

the girls are arguing about rules and marga’s like "shut up bish manuela’s mine!!”

i type on here for ONE SECOND and there’s already so much chatter! :o

someone stole a book!

it’s that look meme! :D

oh no marga has a black mark! :o

WHY MARGA

the headmistress is just chilling with a paper lol :D

rgb is that you?

she’s prussian! :o

WTF HEADMISTRESS????

a girl wants a whole ham SAME!!!

the girls are in a line and you know the headbishstress will point out manuela!

she saw her but didn’t say anything cool B)

is this a prayer circle?

OMG IT IS BEATLES REFERENCE!!! :o

jk but the lady beside the headbish has a harmonica so maybe?

the girls sing wonderfully! :D

headmistress: “prayers THEN DEATH” (aka rules)

MAGRA HECK NAW GURL!!!!!! :o

the other girls giggle at it so it’s cool (NOT!!!!)

;)

all the girls are washing up in their underwear together and they’re cool with it! ;)

OMG MARGA MADE SOME MARIE GIRL TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND HER SHIRT POPPED OPEN OMG!!!!!

marga is a chaotic lesbian!

gayyyyy

aww they were talking about manuela’s mom never mind :(

but irene teacher is there to cheere manuela up! :D

i got this cap to show how pretty manuela is (and how julie albright she looks!) and i caught a johnlock moment! ;)

looks of LOVE!!!! ♥♥♥♥

marga’s making fun of the teacher lol :D

GEEZ some girl just said ‘get to bed!’ party pooper much?

aww irene teacher is kissing their foreheads! :)

OMGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!! :O

i knew it was coming BUT I ALSO DIDN’T KNOW THAT IT WAS COMING

manuela will have very sweet dreams tonight! ;)

and thus another school day begins!

yas! :D

marga’s all like ‘hmm!’ :D

josi wants to sit at the table with mia aww :)

oh no irene teacher has the note! :o

no notes in class is a DEATH (rule)

kit and marilyn stanton! :D

jk it’s manuela and some other girl but they both look very familiar! :D

a ‘friend’ ;)

the headbish doesn’t like it NO >:(

SHE SAID THAT FIRST PART IN ENGLISH AND IT SOUNDED BRITISH WOAH :o

i love how all the teachers praise manuela! :D

:)

she just launches into a story

irene teacher: “who wants to tell the story?” girls: *MUCH SNAPPING*

aww manuela doesn’t remember the second verse! :/

sneaky manuela! ;)

omg manuela and endelgard kit shipping! :o

aww lovestruck! :)

what a nice friend! :)

besties!!! :D

aww she has a petticoat for her! :D

manuela’s cute giggle!!! ♥♥♥♥

aww :)

this is johnlock! :o

irene teacher: “na na na...” naaanaaa-

she’s letting manuela have a good cry! :’)

not even halfway through and there’s already a romantic confession!

DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THE KISS FROM LAST NIGHT???

irene teacher says ‘the other girls will be jealous’ BECAUSE THIS IS A SCHOOL FOR LESBEANS BBY! ♥

a happy manuela! :D

a lovely school shot! :D

marga chillin’ ;)

but it be saturday OHHHHHHHH

also i think i found my good morning post for tomorrow! ;)

OMG MARGA SPIT DOWN THE STAIRWELL :o

don’t physics us random girl IT’S BORING SAT-SUNDAY!!!!

OMG???

they say ’you’ll only make a noise!’ YET THEY’RE MAKING A NOISE WITH ALL THEIR YELLING!

OMFG THEY DID THE FIREWORK BOI

the bell is so pretty! :)

why does marga hate sundays?

because that’s how jesus wants it...?

OMG MARGA’S GONNA SMUGGLE LLISE’S LETTER OUT :o

the headmistress wants a stocking check!

some random girl came in the room loudly singing and stopped when she saw the others lol :D

johanna’s purse go SWISH SWISH!

ew it’s her 100th b-day :(

das gay ;)

it’s the vhs cover! :D

omg llse! :o

llse loves that stockinged leg tho ;)

marga is santa!

OH CRAP

headbish is making marga open the letter NO :o

she can’t be in the play! :o

aww she’s so sad! :(

*doesn’t know it very well* lol :D

charlie brown much? ;)

aww :)

VERY UNFORTUNATE PAUSE

OMG IRENE TEACHER JUST SLAPPED HER BUTT A BIT

yep :)

what a lovely hand kiss! :)

and the crowd went wild! :D

“ew”

“blech!”

what a pretty chandelier! :D

and you can’t imagine how close marga and manuela are! :o

aww!!! :D

marga’s like ‘YES DRINKS BBY!!!!!!”

BOI

a toast to manuela! :D

omg THE PUNCH WAS TIPSY!!!!! :o

they’re all dancing with a piano! :D

yay the headbish is a headmistress again!!!! :D

how romantic! ♥

aww!!!! :D

she’s drunkenly telling everyone about the petticoat!!! :o

YOU SHOULD BE MANUELA LOOK WHO’S MAKING THEIR WAY DOWNTOWN!!!!!!

SHE YELLED THIS WITH THE HEADMISTRESS IN THE FRONT OF THE CROWD! OMFG!! :o

not mad, just drunk af and gay...BUT REALLY CLOSE TO BEING MAD!!!

manuela fainted and the headmistress called her scandalous! :o

indeed jackie kennedy! :D

everyone steps aside for the headmistress students and teachers alike!

because YOU’RE GAY!!!

manuela and hanni share a cute laugh right after! :D

lady tremaine and cinderella much? ;)

the headbish said irene teacher will never forgive manuela RUDE >:(

omg!!! :o

yeah MARGA

good! :D

a princess is coming to visit! :o

the headbish runs with her cane WOAH :o

ooh a new teacher! :o

one of the girls said ‘thank you very well’ to her in english!

she knew manuela’s mom!!! :o

how sweet! :D

the headbish just said ‘nein nein’! :o

indeed you do, irene teacher! ;)

THE PETTICOAT WAS THE HEADBISH’S???? :o

YAAS EDELGARD!!! :D

YAS!!!!!!!! :D

you BISH!!!!!! >:(

yet they talk anyway!

manuela:

a sad lol!

oh no!!!! :o

manuela said ‘weidersen’ :(

irene teacher said manuela needs to be ‘cured’... homophobia much?

:(

oh CRAP ;o

YAS GIRLS!!! :D

so the school will be rid of homophobia in just a few years! :)

all the girls are calling for manuela!

OMG BURY YOUR GAYS TROPE????? :o

they all saved her! :D

that’s true irene teacher! the girls save manuela! :D

apparently manuela was based on a real girl who made herself lame by falling down the stairs so i’m glad the movie changed her fate!

the headmistress is walking away in deep thought over what just happened. hopefully she’ll change for the better!

and thus the film has ended!

this was a fantastic movie and i loved manuela! the other girls were a joy as well and i wish there had been more scenes with them. the movie was quite daring for the time, which i applaud very much! what an amazing film! :D

[itsdisneymydudes]

I’m Gonna Wreck It

Another movie I haven’t seen, another live blog! This week I’ll be checking out Wreck-It Ralph. Truth be told, idk why I haven’t seen this before: video game and arcade jokes? What’s not to love omg.

Oh my god, 8-bit Disney Animation logo with complimentary 8-bit music. It’s perfect.

Wait a minute...is Ralph really the bad guy if the bulldozer moved his stump first? I can kinda understand his aggression seeing as they hit first. He’s only responding...with fists...

Fastest way to get exposition is to have John C. Riley narrate over a video game lemme tell ya. And the premise makes a lot of sense. Ralph does his job. It just so happens that that job is to wreck everything. And get thrown off a roof. Into mud. Medal-less.

Lol @the-kid​-who-says-“This animation is so real.” I see you, Disney. I see you.

Whoa. Just whoa. The arcade time lapse is so full of old video game references, there is no way you could catch them all in one viewing. Damn, Disney really went all out with the royalties for this movie. Pac-man, Asteroids, Frogger, TMNT, this is beautiful.

And we’re still less than 3 minutes into this movie. Oh, this is gonna be good.

Aw, Ralph wants to love his job but hates it at the same time. Is this gonna be a mid-life crisis told through video games? Please say yes.

Lolololol this is like a modern version of Toy Story. All the video games come to life once the people leave. Oh and Street Fighter II? That could not have been easy to get in this movie (and they only use it for a quick joke about grabbing a drink after work, too. Now that’s dedication to making your world believable).

I’m loving this translation of choppy 8-bit video game motions into a 3D animated world. It’s a subtle touch, but one that makes everything more realistic imo.

Also, loving the meta-humor where Ralph literally wrecks everything he touches. Even the bushes fall over after he brushes them.

Aw, Ralph’s true motivations are coming through... :(

Lol a Bad-Anon meeting? Idk what’s better: the fact that it’s a play on Alcohol Anonymous or the fact that they used Anon from Internet slang.

Nope, I change my mind. The best part about this is how many video game baddies they have here. Bowser, Kano, Dr. Robotnik, Blinky the Ghost, I just can’t believe it.

Aw, the bad guys are really trying to explain to Ralph why being bad isn’t necessarily a bad thing. That’s nice.

Oh my god, Kano just ripped Zombie’s heart out. That’s hilarious. Fatality (except Zombie is already dead...).

Lol. Thanks, Satan.

I like how everyone freaks out when Ralph says he doesn’t want to be the bad guy anymore. Society has rules, and if Ralph is trying to break them in the slightest (”go Turbo”), then everyone loses their minds. Even for bad guys, you still gotta follow the rules.

Whoa. Blinky is right. Don’t try and change who you are to be better, accept who you are to be a better you. Damn, deep stuff.

AHHH THE BAD-ANON MEETING WAS IN BLINKY’S RESPAWN BOX FOR PAC-MAN. THAT’S ABSOLUTE GOLD.

Oh my god Game Central Station is magnificent. The gates are outlet faces, and there are so many video game characters there. This is amazing.

Lol “All aboard the Soul Train, outlet 12.” Nice throwback.

Oooo a “random security check” always pulling aside Ralph. Not-so-subtle discrimination allegory. I like it. Also, Lara Croft name-dropping is always a good touch.

Sonic is in this movie too??? Marvelous. Simply marvelous.

Holy crap, Q*bert is homeless because their game got unplugged??? Snake too??? Oh my god that’s right in the feels. Aw and Ralph gives them his cherry. That’s so sweet. Gah this is gonna be an emotional roller coaster of a movie.

Lolololol is that supposed to be Skrillex?

Ralph and Felix’s conversation is so awkward. That makes me sad :(

Ah, Ralph is already breaking stuff. Ah and Felix’s respawn animation. Too cute.

Two things: 1) why are the apartment people so effing rude. Were they raised in a bar? Jfc. 2) I’m loving how anti-social Ralph is. Yea, you tell em buddy. Stick it to the man.

As sad as Ralph wrecking the cake is, you gotta appreciate the pixelated cake-splatter everywhere.

Oh my gosh how did I not see this before?! Tapper is an old video game too! Golly gee, references are everywhere!!!

Super mushrooms and Metal Gear exclamation points in the lost-and-found! Brilliant!

Oh, I get it. Hero’s Duty is supposed to be a cross between Halo and Call of Duty. Modern games are in this movie too. Smashing.

Is that Jane Lynch???? Oh heck yes!

“First Person Shooter coming through.” Niceeeeeeee.

This dubstep-space-robot-bug-thingy-shooter sequence is FUCKING AWESOME. HOLY NUTS WHY CAN’T ALL DISNEY MOVIES BE LIKE THIS.

Even in this chaotic shooting game, “formation” and social constructs are paramount. Damn, society. You scary.

Ralph and the “old video games” calling out the “new video games” for being scary. Got em.

Ha. A giant blue beam to zap all the bugs with. Cute.

Subway product placement? Huh. Interesting.

Also, the jerk guys who are clearly way older than the marketed arcade demographic are total jerks. Realistic arcade representation though. Every arcade has em.

Oh snap. Now I know why “sticking to the program” is so important. If games don’t, then they can be shut down for good. That’s so dark, Disney.

Ah now I wanna learn Q*bert-ese. That sounds really fun.

Also, it’s funny to see how much the village people (pun intended) need Ralph now after they berated him for “wrecking everything.” Yea, karma bitch.

I like how smitten Felix is for high-definition characters. Lol innuendo.

Are the cybug eggs supposed to be a reference to the eggs from Aliens? If so, I approve.

Aw, Ralph just wants everyone’s approval. That’s so sad :( Poor Ralph.

The little cybug just jumped on Ralph’s face. Totally a reference to Aliens.

Hahahahaha. Sonic lost his rings!

Sugar Rush is a mix between Mario Kart and Candyland right? That’s sweet (yes, pun intended again).

Also, that’s a theme catchy song.

I can’t believe that’s Sarah Silverman!

Whoa was that a glitch...? Do they have those in this movie?

If cybugs are viruses, does that mean Hero’s Duty is like the Norton Antivirus of the arcade then? Lol that’d be a riveting game.

Pay-to-play for this racing competition seems like it guarantees the richest racers will always race…it’s almost like the top 1% of racers will always stay at the top…hey wait a minute, Disney…

I like how the coins dissolve in to 0’s and 1’s. It’s the little details that make this movie awesome.

Oh no, Ralph’s medal got dissolved…

So Vanellope is a glitch. Whoa.

Haha. The cops are donuts. Got em.

Is that Ralph or Shrek?

AH IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A REPRESENTATION OF POLICE BRUTALITY??? AH DISNEY I SEE YOU

Whoa, glitch discrimination. That’s some deep stuff yo.

THE OREOS ARE FROM THE WIZARD OF OZ I’M GONNA McFREAKIN’ LOSE IT

Children of the Candy Corn? There are so many references in this movie that I highly doubt younger audiences will recognize.

Lol. Fun-geon. Pun-geon. Aha, ok. I’m done-geon. Oh my god. It went full circle.

A Darth Vader breathing reference? What doesn’t this movie have???

Pixlexia? Is that a play on dyslexia?

Holy fuck, these racers are awful. They’re destroying Vanellope’s car just cuz she’s different? WTF.

Yay! Ralph to the rescue!

Haha. Ralph can break everything except a jawbreaker. Just like I remember them.

Oh snap. Nvm, he did.

Why would a creepy character like Turbo be the hero of a racing game? He sure doesn’t look like a hero…

Also, good exposition for the word “Turbo.”

Ahaha. Nesquik-sand. I love Nesquik. But I hate sand. It’s rough. And course. And it gets everywhere (lol, ok I’m done).

Aha Laffy Taffy that laugh. This movie is full of puns too? Oh I am in love.

Aaaaand insert obligatory Disney romance subplot here.

Lol. Gunshots are the fastest way to silence unwanted singing.

Oh my gosh. Candy-cybugs???

Is Vanellope calling Ralph “Knuckles” supposed to be a Sonic the Hedgehog reference? If so, I love it.

Lolololol did she just call him GLaDOS too??? Gold!!!

A game within a game. Game-ception? Nope, a mini-game!

Aw Vanellope and Ralph are bonding.

AW VANELLOPE LOVES THE CAR RALPH MADE FOR HER. THAT’S SO FUCKING PRECIOUS.

I get the vibe I’m not supposed to like King Candy, but his puns save me. Spiritually, ethically, psychologically. Everything.

Ahhhhh the ol’ Mentos and Diet Coke trick. Good one.

Whoa. The parallels between Vanellope and Ralph are striking, sure. But the fact that she can’t even leave her game because she’s a glitch? That’s hard stuff. At least Ralph can go where he pleases. Damn, Disney.

Lol, Vanellope learning to drive is exactly how I was in driver’s ed. “What do these pedals on the floor do?”

Vanellope has a chance to win if she can “get that glitch under control?” That totally undermines the entire message of the movie thus far! What the heck!

AAAAAAAHHHHH THE UP-UP-DOWN-DOWN-LEFT-RIGHT-LEFT-RIGHT-B-A-START CHEAT CODE!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!

Aw, even Vanellope’s code is alienated from the rest of the game…

Lol, come on Felix. Put a trigger warning on before you say “Dynamite gal.”

HOLY FUCK VANELLOPE WILL DIE IF SHE WINS THE RACE. OH MY GOD KING CANDY’S LOGIC MAKES SENSE BUT HOLY FUCK THAT’S AWFUL. JESUS DISNEY WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME.

AAAAHHH VANELLOPE MADE RALPH A MEDAL OH MY GOD THIS IS TOO MUCH

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH RALPH NO NOT THE CAR OH MY FUCKING GOD NO NO NO NO NO

This movie is really sending mixed signals about being bad. Is it good to be bad? Is it bad to be bad? Are bad guys just alone no matter which way they try to be?

Waaaaaiiiit a minute. Why is Vanellope on the side of the arcade game if she’s a glitch? Game makers wouldn’t do that…what’s going on…

Lol, I literally just thought of that Ralph. No fair.

Haha. Candy-coated Heart of Darkness. The horror. The horror.

Jesus, eating Sour Bill is like dunking him in acid. Ralph is twisted, wow oh wow.

Whoa. Jeez how omnipotent is King Candy? He forcibly made Vanellope a glitch, then locked up everyone’s memories of her? Whoa.

The game will reset if Vanellope crosses the finish line? Hm….

Also, nice “stick around” pun, Ralph.

Lol. Felix making the bars stronger is great.

So is Ralph returning to being bad…by doing something good? Again, what is this movie trying to say! Be good or be bad??? Be bad with good intentions??? Jeez, I’ve never had such an identity crisis over a movie before!

Haha. The assorted fans with nuts are the Cameron Crazies. Nice touch.

Ooooooo I love the camera pan-around for the racecars! Just like in Mario Kart!

Ah someone even spun out before the start! Didn’t get the timing right, eh?

Now that’s what I call pod-racing!

Ayyy nice. Vanellope’s glitch moved her ahead of those Mean-Girl-esque candy racers!

Damn, Vanellope is 2 fast 2 furious for King Candy (with a little Tokyo Drift thrown in there for good measure).

Oh my god. It all makes sense now. King Candy is Turbo. He passed his glitch on to Vanellope so she’d be the outcast and not him. But Vanellope inadvertently passed it back to him and exposed him. Whoa.

Oh nice, another literary reference. On the “Come back soon” sign, it says “Parting is such sweet sorrow…” from Romeo and Juliet. Nice one (and a good pun too).

Oh god, Vanellope still can’t leave the game.

No no no she can’t die. No no no don’t do it, Disney.

Oh I see. Ralph is using his bad wrecking powers for good. Ohhhhhh.

Ohhhh snap. Now Turbo is game-hopping virus. Shit.

OH NO. NO NO NO. IS RALPH GONNA DIE???

Oh. He didn’t. Good.

Wait, is Vanellope getting a dress? Aw come on, Disney. I thought we were done with gender stereotyping.

Whoa, what??? Princess Vanellope??? Yo way to go!!!

Yea, Vanellope, yea! Execute those suckers! Fuck em up!!!

Aw, she was just kidding. Darn it.

Lol, constitutional democracy? President Vanellope? Yea, I’d vote for her.

Jesus, even with a happy ending, Disney has to play with my heart. Why does Ralph have to say goodbye. Why why why.

Aw a nice sweet happy ending where everybody wins. Good ol’ Disney.

HOLY CRAP RALPH CAN SEE VANELLOPE RACING WHEN HE GETS THROWN OFF THE BUILDING THAT IS SO FREAKING CUTE OH MY GOSH

AHHHHH WHAT A PERFECT ENDING. WHAT A PERFECT LAST LINE. AHHHHH THIS MOVIE IS SO PERFECT. I CAN’T HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW GAAAAAHHHHHH

OH MY GOODNESS JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THIS MOVIE COULDN’T GET ANY BETTER. THE PAC-MAN ENDGAME GLITCH IS AT THE END OF THE CREDITS DURING THE DISNEY LOGO. HOW PERFECT IS THAT!?!?!? AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

This movie is beautiful. Just simply beautiful.