#jason isnt actively going to off himself however that man truly doesnt care if he goes again

[arkhamsbrat]

“what the fuck is wrong with you!?” they yelled at him, almost slack-jawed as he hobbled through the window of their apartment. “want that list alphabetically or chronologically?” he huffed, practically throwing himself into the dining chair closest to him.

“i’m not kiddin’, jason peter todd.” his partner snarled at him. “y’could’ve gotten yourself killed!?” jason held back an eye roll. “don’t be so dramatic, i didn’t…” he droned off when they turned on the news to show a clip of red hood being sent back nearly 50 feet by the explosion he set off himself.

“well…” he started, avoiding their gaze “well!? jesus christ!” they turned away from him, fighting to regulate their breathing, and their temper. jason had explained his life- his childhood to them. they understood why he was so damn stupid. but that didn’t make it hurt any less. “jason, you can’t run around tryin’ta kill yourself anymore. its killin’ me.”

he winced at the hurt in their voice. “c’mere..” they shook their head. “no. mad at’chya. fuckin’ idiot.” he let a small smile peak at the corners of his mouth. “can you be mad at me while i hold you?” a beat of silence passed between the two before they moved over and sat on the ground between his legs, letting his fingers comb through their hair. it was the closest thing he’d get to holding them right now.

“why do you care so much?” he whispered, free hand clutching his rib. they noticed, their hands moving to pry off his armor so they could look at his wounds. “let me see…” they whispered. “care so much because you’re my boyfriend, jason. you expect me to be okay with just sittin’ at home wonderin’ if you’re gonna come back, only to find out you died from the news?”

jason just stared at her for a moment, wheels turning in his head. “didn’t think it was that bad…” he whispered. hes not purposefully trying to get himself killed, but… he always knew it could happen again. one wrong move, too slow… it wasn’t welcomed, just expected.

had he been too reckless? yeah, probably. all the bruises and scars littered across his body were evidence of it. it never crossed his mind to think that it scared them. worried them. “i’ll be safer.” he spoke with a certain finality that they couldn’t help but trust. “ill kill y’myself if you arent.”

it would take time. a lot of it, but jason came home immensely wounded less. some of his bruises even had time to heal. he could see that their nail bed had stopped scarring over. when he came home, their weren’t crescent shaped claw marks in the fat of their arm. sometimes they looked up at him with pride glimmering in their eyes.

maybe keeping himself alive wasn’t too much to ask.