#james sucks at pool but doesn't want to admit it

[thatbrightblueshine]

i have not been sane ever since the new everton unseen dropped by the way. look at all things going on here alone. insane.

[pbandjesse]

It's hard to admit this because I had been social war that I was going to be able to sleep over this year but I hate this. I hate it. I don't want to sleep here I don't want to be here. I want to do my job and go because besides CJ I have no friends here. I have co-workers who are nice to me but I do not have friends. I don't have anyone to hang out with. And I just feel very very alone and miserable. I'm not having a good time. I'm not particularly having a very good summer. And it sucks. So when I go home I'm actually able to have fun and do things and hang out with my husband and eat food that I like and take actual showers. And I promised CJ I would stay here tonight because I wanted to hang out with her and it is almost 9:00 p.m. and she's been busy basically since I was done at 3:30. And that's not her fault but I've been alone for 6 hours basically. And I'm just really unhappy. I like having a cabin so I can come and rest during the daytime. I like knowing that I have a spot where are my things are. But I don't want to feel like I'm forced to stay here and I just have to be honest about that because I'm almost in tears again I'm so unhappy. And at this point it feels like it's too late to go home because I would just be going home and going right to bed and that feels pointless too. Like yes I would get to see James for a few minutes but they go to bed by 10:00 so it doesn't even feel like it would fix any of the problems that I'm having tonight.

It wasn't even a bad day. The temperature was really nice. I did not like my outfit. I felt uncomfortable in my tank top. So I wore a hoodie for most of the day which was fine. I actually got some compliments on it. And I didn't sleep amazing which probably is adding to my stress in my brain. But I got up and James was there and I tried to be in a good mood even though it was hard.

We got ready to go and we went outside together. James helped me carry a few things and I had a nice drive into work. Me and James both arrived at work at the same time which I always love. And I got set up and I felt like things were okay. I would hang out my hammock for a while. I decided to go in one of the other hammocks for some change of scenery and I ended up feeling super comfortable so I think I'm going to be hanging out in the new hammock more often. You lay in it and it's a little flatter which is nice and a nice change of pace.

My group study were All excellent. We had lots of really cute bears and everybody got done and it just felt like we were having a really productive day. I am really running low on the medium and large bears so I would have one of my tipis girls later on the day organize them into size so tomorrow I'm hoping it's a little more quick and we can use up more stock so I don't have to cut anything else. And I enjoyed hanging out with the kids. It's still hard because I'm not really talking to any counselors. And I was just trying to have a good day.

Some of that good day was just not going to lunch. Just not going to the meal at all. And apparently the kitchen stuff has noticed. What dinner they were very surprised that I had shown up and they were like we didn't think we'd ever see you. You've been all over the place and I'm like yeah I know I've just been so busy and I've been going home. But for lunch today I would go to the office and eat the nachos that I brought. Actually only ate half of them so I could have them again tomorrow if I wanted to. The cheese sauce that I got was fine but I don't think I would buy this particular brand again.

I did not get to be a alone as long as I had hoped because Kenny and Louisa were in the office and Kenny had gotten hurt at the pool and had to go get a staple in the back of his head. He had been in the shallow end and a tile fell off the pool and hit him in the head? I don't really understand how that happened. But I gave them both a chip and they told me all about the injury and eventually I would head up to arts and crafts to just chill by myself there. I never made it to the cabin during lunch today I just decided I did not want to lay down and I didn't feel like I had enough time to anyway.

The afternoon was great. Day Camp was lovely. I did scare one of the counselors because their kids were not listening when it was time to clean up and I had to actually yell and I had never yelled in front of this counselor before and he fully jumped. He was like that was really scary. And I'm like yeah I don't yell so I save it up for when it is an actual needed situation. And your kids were not listening. And I'm glad that I can be listened to without yelling and I'm glad that when I have to pull it out it is taken seriously.

We had a good time though and everybody got to sew and I did remember to bring the cotton so we were able to refill the sacrificial sheep from yesterday and I showed some of the girls how you do a ladder stitch to close them up. And I was having a positive day. I was not miserable and I was chill and things were okay.

My kids doing awards would come to do more chores and I was like yeah that's fine fully expecting that their counselors will come back for them at 3:30 because that is when my last program ends. But they didn't. Stockade was there from 2:30 to 3:30 and we had a great time doing necklace stuff and then they were doing this game where they rate just random things from 1 to 10. Ginger ale is apparently at 2:00 for some of them and styles of art is a six. It was very strange to listen to a group of teenage boys for an hour. And the girls were just aghast at the level of conversation. They were like this is stupid why are you talking about this. And I'm like they're not hurting anybody. Let them live their lives.

But The girls would stay and they would work on their awards and their paintings and their projects and I was over in the hammock. Cuz I was basically only a little bit responsible for them but I still couldn't go anywhere. So I text their counselor. When are you coming for them. No response.

And then two girls from the SSC came to do their camp award project and I was like yeah that's chill you just got to work on it for at least a half hour so they started working on that and that would make them done around 4:30 which was perfect because CJ called me and told me that they should head to the barn at 4:30 for their project stuff. And I was like that's chill so then I was like okay tipis will get picked up at 4:30. Because Slim was coming to do a performance.

Nope that did not happen. I sent 7 text messages between CJ and the two counselors and no one was answering me. And I'm not going to walk all the way over to the council ring to see if the teepee counselors were there and I'm just like this is ridiculous and then I see one of the counselors walk across the field and I'm not going to chase them you need to come up and get your kids. And they weren't. Finally at 5:35 after taking the girls to the bathroom twice their counselor finally came back. And they were like come on let's go and didn't say anything to me. And then one of them would message me on Instagram and apologize but apparently the girls told them to come and get them after Slim and I'm like why would you trust them. Why would you not confirm with me. What if I would need to leave and also I had things I wanted to do I wanted to go take a shower I wanted to come down to the cabin but no instead I was just sitting with your kids for multiple hours and that sucks. That's not fair to me.

So I was not in a great mood. Once they were gone I would go to the lodge and I would tell Callie how I was feeling and she validated my concerns but she was really busy so I went and talked to the kitchen staff and that's when they were like oh my God where have you been. And we talked about my trip next week and how I won't be there and then I had pasta salad and potatoes for dinner. I sat outside and Aaron came out because his little brother was there with hognose snake that he just bought. Which I thought Heather said we were not allowed to have. So I'm pretty surprised about that. But it's cute. So I hope that he actually got permission because my understanding was that that was not allowed. But whatever not my circus not my monkeys.

I would go to the office next with Louisa. She had been sitting with me outside and she was like let's go work on stuff and I was like okay so we go over to the art building and we painted some of the wooden spoons for next week's project and I made a note for whoever ends up subbing for it and around 7:00 we went back down to the office because there was going to become ice tonight and if everything else sucked at least I would have that.

We had to wait for a while and during that time we were just kind of chilling and talking. Talk to alexie for a little bit talked to a couple people that came through and everyone's like you're here!? And I think it's funny because like usually I'm very involved but I just can't this year I just don't want to be here. It's not that I'm unhappy at camp. I usually love so many things about camp. But the Sears just been so hard. I just would like to feel like I'm not trapped. And I'm hoping after my vacation next week I can just have a good time the last few weeks of camp and not feel so sad. I really hope that I can pull that off because this is been tough.

Going to ice would have come now and I got sour berry something. Which was really good. But it did make my mouth blue which I don't like. But Louisa did share one of her special cups with me so that was cool and I would sit outside and watch all the other kids get their flavors and I got to hear about the mixes they make and everyone was having a good time. OB, the mini horse, got a haircut and they brought him down because he was going to be in the talent show tonight. And everyone kept asking me if I was going to the skip night/talent show because apparently someone is doing an impression of me. But I am just so absolutely not interested in doing that. I do not like skit night It always goes way too long. And the skits are fine but they should have a time limit. They are just entirely too long and no one ever talks about enough. And since I was here I have decided I should at least make the most of it and I went back to arts and crafts to continue to paint spoons.

I did that until the paint that I had mixed ran out and then I came over to our cabin. I washed my face and I put my pajamas on. I packed some stuff to take home and now the sun is going down. And the lightning bugs are coming out. And I'm going to go and lay in bed and charge my phone. Watch the rest of this true crime documentary and hopefully have a good night's sleep.

I'm really hoping tomorrow was just a really good and easy day. But all my groups are nice and the counselors are helpful and I can leave for a week knowing that everything will be okay when I come back. Because if I come back on this building and it is a disaster I'm going to be so sad.

Everybody have a great night tonight. Sleep well and take care of each other. Until next time.

[spookykittyboo]

Cold.

sorry if this suck!

The clock shows 9:40. Soft musics are filling the room with the combination of the smell coming from the cookies you baked, the warmth of the fire. Perfect.

You're placing different kinds of cookies on the table. Admiring the smell you created yourself. Where is he, you wonder. You can hear his laugh, his word. Or even his movement, silly childish movement. You're walking towards the door turning the knob to open it, and there he is. Holding his phone, recording himself throwing a ball of snow and the snowman he made earlier. "What a joke..." you laughed to yourself, keeping it low. This must be something he'll want to share to his Instagram. But you dont mind, you know how the fans are nice to him, how they adore his laugh and his cute little boy spirit especially with that goddamn smile, c'mon, he's fucking charming. "Mr.Courtney...." you call out to him, with your arms crossing and your body leaning to the door frame. He looks at you in a ditch putting the phone in his pocket "Hey, sweetie! What 'chu doing out. It's cold!" he worries.

"Oh you're worrying me? You're in your fuckin 60s and messing out here, throwing snow." sometimes he just doesn't understand how much you care about him. He is fit for he's age, and looks good too, but you always want him to also care for himself and watch out for any condition he's in. You hate to say this but, boys will be boys, he won't realize how bad something is, till it hurt him. But of course you'll always be there wherever and whenever. "Baby, just come in, come on." you put his hand in yours and lead him in. "Looky here, i baked you a little something sir." his eyes widens as he catch the sigh of those freshly baked cookes out on the table "Aw, would you look at that. Little missy did this all for me?" he pointed at the table, with his voice praising all your effort. He hugs you from behind and place a kiss on your left cheek, you can feel his beard tingling you face skin as he stays closer to you. You walked towards the couch with him still attach behind you "You know, i love you with that beard." you admit with embarassment, giving a little smirk. Both of you sit down then you feel a cold and wet touch, kissing your cheek. "Hey! Ah, James you got some snow on your beard." you laugh cleaning it carefully "Looking like a fuckin snow monster here..." he side eye-ing you watching as you moves your hand around his face. "Well, maybe i should.... scare you then! Rawr!" he pushes you down to lie your upper body on the couch with him on top. "James! Hey! Ah- ah... ouw! Stop trying to push me down." you hit his shoulder with playful move. "....it hurts James..." a puppy face starts to draw itself all over your face. Your only way out from whatever pool James is pulling you in. "Ah, no no no young missy, no puppy face. Here, i miss you." he kisses you, giving light kisses all over your face, making you giggle like crazy. It tickles, but it's addicting. "J-james c'mon now... hehe stop. Baby-" you push him enough to look at those soft eyes. Gosh, it's like they're smiling, just with those eyes. You put your feet up on the couch, moving a little to fit your body under him. "What's an old man like you doing outside hm? making video like teenagers?" you laugh, teasing him a little about his age.

"Oh, really? Old man, y/n?"

"Yes James, old... man..." you bite your bottom lip heating the situation a little. You know how he love the teasing and those bratty mockery.

"Well young lady, this old man happens to make you sound really loud last night yo-" his mouth meets with your warm right palm. Closing it before he gets the chance to say the next thing. "Shh!! No! James!" you whine through your embarassment, remembering what had happen last night. "Little missy, you remember last night don't cha?"

Ugh, what a tease!

...

You were safe and sound next to him. Warm, and kept beating in his arms. His chest rose with every breath he took and he looks so goddamn peaceful. But after what the two of you just had, no wonder he looks so in peace and deep in his rest.

The alcohol. That goddamn wine you bought from the store across the street. It was fucking cheap and tasted, well... ugh. But the effect it had on him was mad. It was the first time you ever saw him in his own brutal high. The man is a fucking bull in his 60s and you are in love. "Hey, mister. You up?" you crept like a little lion cup on his side.

"Psst! psst!"

"Humm?" he hummed, awaken by you. "I know you're trying to mess with me."

"Yeah... but c'mon up up!"

"Y/n it's freaking like... 2 am."

"Ugh no... it's 2:16 am."

"Hmmm.."

You were desprate to get him all up, you climbed on top of him and put your head to the side of his head. "Psst psst... peepaw..." oh you know how he hates the name "peepaw" especially when it came out of you. "Dont push it missy!" he huffed, putting his hands around your body. "Then wake up pleasee, we can find something to do sir..." late night sex? your idea just entered his brain. So he opened his eyes, looked into yours then, a dirty smirk appeared across his lovely face.

"Oh? So that's what you're trying to get huh?"

"i just... i can't help it. You with your beard..." you started to grind on him, wiggling your lower body against him just see how the old man would react to your passionate embrace. " I mean, you're such a char- Hey!" he flipped the position between the two of you, with him on top, and smiling with the image inside of his head. "Asshole!" you whispered it loud with a laugh to him. "Well, how can i hold myself when a pretty little lady beg me to entertain her." his worlds lingered around you like an opera symphony, driving you into madness. "You're such a man James..." you said with your eyes admiring his features. Gosh, that beard. And the way he looked at you? Baby if i can keep this moment in my pocket, i will. And pull it out then throw myself in it. Just to feel heaven whenever we're in this together. His lips crashed to yours, turning his head to both sides, taking in the taste of your lips.

"J-james ...i-im cold..." shivering under him, he pressed himself heavier against you, feeling your bare skin touching his. "I'll warm you up." he smiled.

"Yeah? And old dog trying to warm me up huh?"

"Well, this old dog happens to know how to make this little missy purr, so hush now." there's nothing sweeter than how he can always lead you in every situation. It's weird to say how he can enter your head and put all the buttons under his own hands. It's like he knows you better than you. Well that's all you can remember to each details from that night. The rest was fucking you in the head. As you remember the sounds you were making, not something you want to keep in your head. Even with all of his compliment showering all over you of how he loves the moan you shoots to his ears. A gift for his own action.

...

You come falling down to earth from flying to the sky of last night's memory. "Hm? So how's last night little missy?" he called, knowing you can't ever resist of him or his cheesy pet name. "Yeah.... i remember. Perfectly!" but all of the sudden his warm smiley face turns to just straight face, the smile fades in seconds. "James, what's wrong?" with a low voice you asked the bearded man on his sudden reaction.

"It's. Uh, it's just that..." his face goes lower, and lower. Till all the sudden he jumps to a stand position, lifting you up together with him. "AH! Wha- what? Stop it!" he laugh in your surprised reaction, planning on how you'll look upstairs in about... at least 5 minutes. "Wanna recreate the scene from last night, lady?"