#ive seen so many films as a film major. all the weird as art films and tons of old ones. and i like those! and i like- LOVE- fun coming of

[cleorasahar]

(KELLY GALE, GENDERFLUID/NONBINARY) - Have you seen CLEORA SAHAR? CLEO is in her/their SENIOR YEAR year. The ART HISTORY MAJOR is  21 years old & is a SCORPIO. People say she/they is/are TACTFUL, OBSERVANT, CUNNING, AND TEMPERAMENTAL. Rumors say they’re a member of KINCAID. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE IS THE REASON AN EX-FRIEND OVERDOSED. (ari. 22. est. they/them)

TW MENTAL ILLNESS, DRUG ABUSE, OVERDOSE, DEATH

cleora “cleo” sahar is textbook slytherin. born to a russian woman too smart for her own good, named with something archaic via her mother’s fascination with everything grecian, cleo was basically born to be the personification of a nightshade

her father is an indian/iranian immigrant who had enough charm to convince her mother to go on a date with him after three tries. her mother, nikita, always loved to tell this story.

cleo resembles her mother in many ways. from a cutting stare to her obsession with control, cleo had always wanted to be like her mother – erudite to the point of possessing the ability for world domination

was a bit of an elitist growing up because of the above — she was able to go to a good all girls private school on scholarship which led her to yates

fascinated w mythology, art history, film, etc

extremely sarcastic and cold most of the time. her familial pressures were enough to make her household tense, and the largeness of new york never allowed her to keep many intimate relationships or friendships growing up

has a god complex that she doesnt like to admit

uses her beauty to her advantage in most situations n has a reputation of a heartbreaker ever since she realized that all the boys from the public school downtown would ogle her on weekends

she isnt as reckless as the usual femme fatale — there’s this refined edge to her. like a glowing flame that never truly goes out

a scorpio….. ???? i literally cnt decide this is subject to change bt her personality? stereotypical scorpio perhaps

*TRAUMA TIME*

cleo had a really strange love/hate codependent friendship with a boy named luka. they had been friends ever since they were children, though they grew dark into their teenage years and would enable each other constantly. cleo loved luka to death in ways she could not explain, and luka took advantage of this constantly. by the age of 17, cleo had already used her street smarts and cunningness to keep luka out of jail, the hospital, what have you. during a depressive episode, cleo had decided to buy coke from some acquaintance whose brother went to nyu. she needed something to feel alive again, though this was already being done with a conflict with luka. the day was soured slightly up until a house party in which they both agreed to go to together. it didn’t take long for luka to get too drunk and drugged up to get into a fight with cleo, scheming for anything more, to which cleo is absolutely done, throwing the small bag of coke and an empty can of pbr into his head and leaving the party. SURPRISE! luka overdoses on fentanyl. cleo is traumatized and guilty and this is precisely why she has trouble finding people to be close with after his death. this is a very insensitive way to end a paragraph about her Secret, i know. but i made this up on the spot.

she was classically trained but ended up sticking to guitar/bass, is very talented and her tendency to be drawn to harder rock music/punk from her uncle landed her in a band in her freshman yr (think fiona apple/hope sandoval/mysterious frontwoman of every 90s rock band)

honestly an enigma like even her close friends are usually like [waka flocka okay gif] when talking abt her bc she’s a wildcard in the sense that no one is truly close to her

exclusively wears red and black

winter is her favorite season

prone to depressive episodes extremely easily… despite her love of winter

voted Most Likely To Slit A Man’s Throat in high school (an unspoken award)

bisexual bc who comes out of a girls private school straight

moral compass? questionable. she’s not one to be the most reckless simply because she doesn’t care enough for the thrill the way her peers do, but she’s been known to be a kleptomaniac in her younger years for the sake that she was damn good at it

her intelligence makes the world limitless and her passion for art and music only confuse her intentions for her future… it’s like her ambition is on overdrive towards something intangible n cleo has a constant fear of grasping at straws bc of pressure from her mom

constant need for power n control due to her upbringing n probably some undiagnosed ocd… she has irrational problems that are more obscure in terms of what she needs to have control over bt she tells literally no one abt these

literally has an elaborate pocket knife in her bag at all times

WANTED CONNECTIONS

exes; people who have felt the brunt of cleo’s coldness and/or wrath. most likely on bad terms or she truly jst… does not have the mind to care abt them

the odd ex that she actually does care abt?? their relationship is… strange but if opportunity came she wld not say no to hooking up

fwb/hookups; u kno the drill… we love power play n unrequitedness n the confusion of who likes who more bring the angst 2 me!!!

unrequited crush?? cld go both ways… maybe someone who sees cleo so often that she’s jst curious enough to keep them around / someone who’s pining for her but she enjoys the game / someone she likes v easily (uncommon) n she truly.. doesn’t kno how to cope

NEMESIS

childhood acquaintance that cld be fwb or hookup or weird friend…or  something.. idk.. cnt decide if her cleo’s mother is a prof or someone in academia yet bc if so then this person cld be  a child of one of her colleagues?

all friends any type welcome pls she’s so stone cold that she needs 2 loosen up… ive written a gd VILLAIN in my head

PINTEREST

[cleosahar-blog]

hlo i’m ari and i'm 20 and use whatever pronouns! atm i like she/her or they/them, and i’m in the est timezone. i’m back with my evil shitbaby hope u enjoy

(female ) haven’t seen CLEO SAHAR around in a while. the MEDALION RAHIMI lookalike has been known to be (+) TACTFUL & (+) OBSERVANT, but SHE can also be (-) CUNNING & (-) TEMPERAMENTAL. The 21 year old is a SENIOR majoring in ART HISTORY. I believe they’re living in PEREGRINIS but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( ari. 20. est. she/they. )

+ dark lipstick, dried flowers, black marble, the dead of winter, cigarette dropped in a glass of wine, candles left burning for hours, lighter touching a tongue, scribbled notes

her pinterest board!

tw mental illness

cleora “cleo” sahar is textbook slytherin. born to a russian woman too smart for her own good, named with something archaic via her mother’s fascination with everything grecian, cleo was basically born to be the personification of a nightshade. growing up in new york city didn’t particularly help her not-so-subtle erudite qualities, most specifically granted to her mother’s work as a professor at columbia university.

her father is an iranian immigrant who had enough charm to convince her mother to go on a date with him after three tries. her mother, nikita, always loved to tell this story.

cleo resembles her mother in many ways. from a cutting stare to her obsession with control, cleo had always wanted to be like her mother -- erudite to the point of possessing the ability for world domination. because of this, she was a bit of an elitist growing up, able to go to a good all girls private school on scholarship (not that she needed it), which led her to lockwood.

truly a wildcard and has this strange anger that’s been inside of her since she was a child. like a bomb that hasn’t completely detonated. on one hand, she was never able to completely relate to the girls at her high school, who were a bit scared of her because she seemed to be constantly seething.

fascinated w mythology, art history, film, etc

extremely sarcastic and cold most of the time. her familial pressures were enough to make her household tense, and the largeness of new york never allowed her to keep many intimate relationships or friendships growing up

has a god complex that she doesnt like to admit

uses her beauty to her advantage in most situations n has a reputation of a heartbreaker ever since she realized that all the boys from the public school downtown would ogle her on weekends

she isnt as reckless as the usual femme fatale — there’s this refined edge to her. like a glowing flame that never truly goes out

a scorpio..... ???? i literally cnt decide this is subject to change bt her personality? stereotypical scorpio perhaps

she was classically trained but ended up sticking to guitar/bass, is very talented and her tendency to be drawn to harder rock music/punk from her uncle landed her in a band in her freshman yr (think fiona apple/mysterious frontwoman of every 90s rock band/i was definitely influenced by the lead singer of crumb when i saw them live lol)

honestly an enigma like even her close friends are usually like [waka flocka okay gif] when talking abt her bc she’s a mystery in the sense that no one is truly close to her

exclusively wears red and black

winter is her favorite season

prone to depressive episodes extremely easily and if she can’t get her alone time she will go Absolutely Batshit

voted Most Likely To Slit A Man’s Throat in high school (an unspoken award)

bisexual bc who comes out of a girls private school straight

moral compass? questionable. she’s not one to be the most reckless simply because she doesn’t care enough for the thrill the way her peers do, but she’s been known to be a kleptomaniac in her younger years for the sake that she was damn good at it. very passionate about palestinian rights, women’s rights, etc. so her morals align with her good politics but her bad attitude and irreverence for authority has made her… slightly anarchist… although she thinks all that is dumb re: leftist boys she’s met

her intelligence makes the world limitless and her passion for art and music only confuse her intentions for her future... it’s like her ambition is on overdrive towards something intangible n cleo has a constant fear of grasping at straws bc of pressure from her mom

constant need for power n control due to her upbringing n probably some undiagnosed ocd... she has irrational problems that are more obscure in terms of what she needs to have control over bt she tells literally no one abt these

literally has an elaborate pocket knife in her bag at all times

WANTED CONNECTIONS

exes; people who have felt the brunt of cleo’s coldness and/or wrath. most likely on bad terms or she truly jst... does not have the mind to care abt them

the odd ex that she actually does care abt?? their relationship is... strange but if opportunity came she wld not say no to hooking up

fwb/hookups; u kno the drill... we love power play n unrequitedness n the confusion of who likes who more bring the angst 2 me!!!

unrequited crush?? cld go both ways... maybe someone who sees cleo so often that she’s jst curious enough to keep them around / someone who’s pining for her but she enjoys the game / someone she likes v easily (uncommon) n she truly.. doesn’t kno how to cope

NEMESIS

childhood acquaintance that cld be fwb or hookup or weird friend...or  something.. idk.. cnt decide if her cleo’s mother is a prof or someone in academia yet bc if so then this person cld be  a child of one of her colleagues?

all friends any type welcome pls she’s so stone cold that she needs 2 loosen up... ive written a gd VILLAIN in my head

[namixart]

To start off 2019 with some positivity, I'm going to make a list of things that I absolutely love and make me happy in my favourite shows, movies, books, games etc. Small things, big things, no particular rhyme or reason. It was surprisingly therapeutic. Feel free to reblog and add your own!

Link being left-handed now let him use sign language Nintendo please

The entire Sector 6 Market section in Final Fantasy VII and the Honeybee Inn in particular

Zuko's character arc

The Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack

Final Fantasy X's worldbuilding

Everything about Disney's Mary Poppins it put me in a good mood for three days straight

How Percy absolutely adores his mum and is supportive of her relationship with Paul (after a while)

Edward Elric

(Yes. Just Edward Elric as a character, person, concept, actions...)

Major character design kink: boys with long (ish) blonde hair (see Edward, Link, Zidane, Howl)

Final Fantasy IX's soundtrack

Aerith and Tifa being close friends despite both being in love with Cloud

The Gentleman Bastard Sequence's worldbuilding

The fact that one of the characters in Zootopia speaks with my city's accent in the Italian dub (you never see it in any movie)

Final Fantasy IV's world being just vague enough that it tickles my creative bone to expand on it

Kingdom Hearts I using original storylines for the Disney Worlds

How Yato's eyes are very a very clear indication that he's a supernatural being in Noragami, being unnaturally light and bright

That one panel in the Kingdom Hearts II manga where an almost-naked Pete carries Maleficent bridal style out of the collapsing tower

Sleeping Beauty's art style and instrumental soundtrack

The fact that two super popular shonen manga/anime have leads who are super smart instead of being dumb muscle or the stock happy-go-lucky-not-very-bright protagonist (Fullmetal Alchemist and My Hero Academia)

How some of the Olympians like Hermes and Poseidon are so casual when interacting with mortals

The scene where the Spaceport is revealed in Treasure Planet and the look of the film in general

The first few chapters of the Yu-Gi-Oh! manga before card games took over the plot

People in the Gentleman Bastard Sequence being emotionally honest despite being literal con artists

The theatre motif in The Republic of Thieves

Cloud, Aerith and Tifa threatening Don Corneo, but especially Aerith saying that "she'll rip it off" if he doesn't cooperate

Locke and Jean becoming pirates in Red Seas Under Red Skies

The Hunger Games movies being the most accurate film adaptations I have seen in my life

The Kingdom Hearts soundtrack, especially the vocal tracks, Dearly Beloved and The Other Promise

Final Fantasy VI shoving you in what usually is the backstory of a videogame and literally destroying the world

Edward defending Mustang when he had his sight taken from him despite them having spent 90% of their screentime together bickering

Tony Stark and Peter Parker's relationship in the MCU

Sophie throwing a tantrum after she realises she's in love with Howl and creating deadly weedkiller to express those feelings

Darcy being a goddamn social Disaster in every incarnation of Pride and Prejudice

The relationship between Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye

The Once Upon a December sequence from Anastasia

The mere existence of Zamira Drakasha and Ezri Delmastro and everything they represent

Sokka's role as both the strategist and the goofball in the Gaang

Peter Parker sharing a hot dog with Loki when he could have asked for anything because Loki owed him a favour

How the plot of Kingdom Hearts is so ridiculous we don't even question it anymore

Enormous muscly men I can still categorise as "super adorable and sweet" (Major Armstrong, All Might)

Howl being the biggest drama queen in the book

My Hero Academia's fantasy AU ending

Spider-Man (PS4) nailing the Friendly Neighbourhood Spidey aspect of the character and letting him interact with civilians

That moment when I was sure Bakugou was going to join the League of Villains but then he didn't and I've never been happier about being wrong my entire life

Zuko practising before asking the Gaang to join them

SNAP SNAP SPARK SPARK

Harry's wonder at every new thing in the Wizarding World

The fact that Spider-Man's backstory could just as easily be that of a villain but instead he's a hero and he has the biggest heart

Jake and Amy being in an Adult and Communicative relationship while still being themselves and each other's best friend

Winry being just as much of a prodigy as Ed and Al and building Ed's automail at 11 years old

Percy Jackson starting out as a standard straight white kids' series and Riordan adding ALL THE DIVERSITY as soon as it got popular enough that Disney couldn't say no

Charlie Weasley just outright trespassing into Hogwarts to smuggle an illegal dragon out

The soul and essence of Pride and Prejudice being passive-aggressiveness and sarcasm

Apollo's haikus in Trials of Apollo

Every scene using Deep Canvas in Tarzan

Winry and Edward's diametrically opposed reactions to the realisation they're in love ("Oh I guess I've fallen for him alright moving on" vs "Fuckfuckfuckfuck oh shit no why oh god aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh")

Lilo & Stitch's watercolour backgrounds

The fact that Roy Mustang's womanising persona is a facade to hide the fact that he's a) a huge nerd, b) going to overthrow the government and c) in love with his lieutenant

The "makings of greatness" speech in Treasure Planet

Spider-Man (PS4)'s swelling score as you start web swinging

The Battle of 1000 Heartless in Kingdom Hearts II

Sophie proudly describing Howl to Abdullah, him assuming she was listing flaws and her getting angry about it

Edward and Alphonse being atheists despite having literally met their version of God

The fact that Amajiki is one of the top three hero students despite his crippling anxiety

Rubicante recognising Edge as a warrior and apologising for Lugae's horribleness

Edge unlocking new powers out of sheer rage

Sora throwing a tea party at the end of Dream Drop Distance while his best friend was still asleep

The backstory in Skyward Sword about Hylia and the first Link

The "immoral manga" omake in Fullmetal Alchemist

The School Festival arc in My Hero Academia, Eri finally smiling and Deku and Mirio being the best big brothers I've ever seen

Kingdom Hearts III finally coming out this month

McGonagall's cat form resembling her human form

Edward finally breaking down at the end of Fullmetal Alchemist god I love this boy so much he has such a big heart

The Enlarged Suit Scene from Howl's Moving Castle

Most of Howl’s Moving Castle is a delight to be honest

Kairi's reaction at the news that she would be training with Axel in A Fragmentary Passage

The bonfire scene in Cosmo Canyon from Final Fantasy VII

Uraraka deciding not to focus on her crush on Deku in order to grow as a hero

Rydia summoning Titan and raising a mountain at the ripe age of seven in Final Fantasy IV

The friendship between Percy, Annabeth and Grover

Kairi and Lea looking like they're going to be a team in Kingdom Hearts III

Greed (at least the second one) claiming that his goal in life is to have everything when in fact he only ever really wanted friends

The Main Theme of Final Fantasy playing during the scene where the characters not in the final battle pray for the party in Final Fantasy IV

The Overture from Phantom of the Opera

Locke Lamora from the Gentleman Bastard Sequence being named after Locke Cole from Final Fantasy VI

Luna Lovegood never having to change who she is and remaining weird and happy

Terra Branford becoming more human by feeling not romantic love but maternal love for a bunch of orphaned children

The "You're not alone" scene from Final Fantasy IX

Darcy respecting Elizabeth's refusal of his first proposal and working to become a better person after she points out his many flaws

Neku learning to open up to people in The World Ends With You and literally saving Shibuya through character development

Bakugou's slow development into a better person

The sketchy animation during Disney's Dark Age

The official character artwork for Skyward Sword

Harry and Sirius's relationship

Spider-Man being a street-level hero and being super humble even though he can literally lift Thor's hammer

That little high-five between Sora and Remy in the 30 seconds trailer for Kingdom Hearts III

Rosa and Rydia immediately ignoring the boys' order to not come to the Moon and stowing away on the Lunar Whale

Plus Edge's adorable "Y-you're here too!?" in the DS remake

Cloud not being allergic to smiling and joking around in the original Final Fantasy VII ("Let's mosey!")

Thor and Loki starting to mend their relationship in Ragnarok

Into The Spider Verse has a scene where Miles uses Spider-Man comic books to figure out how to use his powers and it's the best and I love it

You know what, Into The Spider Verse as a whole because I saw it a while back and I'm still gushing

[bi-dazai]

hey, i just saw your tag on the "haunting and possession belong to women" post and i was wondering if you had any recommended site to read about the trope? its really interesting to me, id love to read more about it!!

i actually remember reading a really interesting article aboutit a few years ago but i cant find it lol....

if you can find any sourcespls send them to me cos id love to do some more reading on this but it seemsgoogle doesnt like me today

ill summarise what i canremember, as well as pull some information on real life exorcisms (which is ofcourse important in examining fictional exorcisms which are inspired by them,and are also really interesting and enlightening in this case). ill alsoprecurse by saying that im gonna write a very western history because thatswhat im most familiar with, however there is something to be said about howacross the entire world almost every culture that has possession and hauntingmythology will have that mythology heavily rotate around women or at leastfeature women in a central causation or effect. but yes, this is a western viewand history:

women have historically had avery strict expectation of behaviour. a woman exhibiting any form ofindependent thought - e.g. insisting on rights such as property ownership,money ownership (yes this was an actual issue lmfao), voting rights, the rightto education; expressing any form of the existence of their sexuality; engagingin “male” hobbies, arts, and careers - was almost always diagnosed or atleast considered to have some kind of hysteria, to be crazy. 

the trope of the possessedgirl in particular is synonymous to this. particularly in western storiesof “possession” (which are often told from a christian perspective), girlswho are possessed by a spirit exhibit traits described historicallyas “hysteria” and are presented as demonic. a girl will say vile things,insult men and the bible, she will be blatant about sexuality, and she will bedeemed as “possessed”. these are the same traits that society, inparticular western society, would use to diagnose women with hysteria or insanity.feminists were thought to be absolutely insane, sometimes possessed. often inchristian and religious lenses, the symptoms of mental illness (or what isperceived as a mental illness) are perceived as possession. almost allpossession narratives have a possessed girl, not a possessed boy, and almost all have a deeply religioustheme (not just because biblical demons are involved!). the behaviours ofpossessed girls also coincide with the image of women and girls as needing tobe kept “pure” - the standards of which reach a level of inhuman sterilitywhich, when pointed out by a woman falling out of these standards, are deemedas “horrific”.

theres also a subset of thisabout how exorcism became a major part of western culture again with the magiccraze of the 19th century and early 20th century, and that this increasedfascination and terror associated with religious punishments and demonicentities, along with the rise of the feminist movement and female independenceat this time, but thats a HUGE subset of history. like the magic craze involvesso many people and crazy aspects, its definitely more of a special interestkinda thing. but if you like reading about weird men doing rituals and jackingoff onto fruit, then 19th and early 20th century magic is fascinating. anywaythats a major part of why exorcism and possession is even such a common tropenowadays

here are some research paths for the possessed girl trope:

studying real lifepossessions - the easiest to find info on would be anneliese michel. massivewarning for abuse, neglect, horrific injury, etc.

how feminism was seen by menin the 19th and early to mid-20th centuries would be another good path

a major onewould be looking up the diagnosis and treatment of hysteria in the 19th century

looking into religious textson exorcisms

AFTER that, consider andresearch tropes of possessions in horror films, particularly ones featuringgirls being possessed

 next:

the haunted woman is slightlysimilar - as in, some details cross over with the possessed girl. but thehaunted woman is a later horror trope, emerging with the rise of horror pulpand horror cinema in the 1930s, 50s, and most importantly in the 1970s. inthe 1970s, feminism reached a new wave after the post modernist thoughtemergence of the late 1960s, the decline of the presence of Christianity in thecultural focus, and a whole other amount of things.

 withthe rise of second-wave feminist thought, particularly in the arts world andespecially in the film world, we began to see a rise in discussions of abuse,misogyny, and violence committed against women. the fact that women feared fortheir lives a lot more of the time than men did was now a commonly discussedtopic amongst not just scholars but the general populace as well.

 someother factors for this discussion:

- therise of magic again in the 70s and 80s

- thecontinued perception of the woman as a symbol of purity

- theprevalence and importance of Stephen king’s writing and horror style in the 70sin particular. works such as the shining and carrie had a massive impact on the future role of horror – itpretty much solidified the female horror protagonist as a thing.

 sonow we aren’t demonising women for being human beings – it is now far moreinteresting and popular in our horror to have a female protagonist bear thegrunt of ghosts, insanity, etc – as a representation of the ordeal ofwomanhood. women are haunted, not just by ghosts but by society’s pitfalls.they are lonely, hurt, burdened, but they survive.

 there’salso another aspect – it’s the scaremongering. women in the 70s began to havemuch more autonomy than they ever had. this left them often unprotected andalone. the haunted woman often lives alone, and has no male lover in their lifeactively defending them. and now they are being run down the halls by a demonicentity with a vengeance. wouldn’t it be great if they had a big strong man protectingthem??? yeah.

 this tropeis much more general and more flexible. there are far more interpretations onthis one, but its best to consider the context of the haunted woman trope. itsmodern interpretation was pretty much formed and solidified in the 70s and 80s,and updated a little to fit new production codes and expectations of gore,injury, fear post-9.11 (that’s an entire aspect of film history that is just….somuch…..)

 somepaths:

-secondwave feminism

-theconstruction of purity in 70s and 80s horror, particularly in slasher flicks

-theshift of the western conscience away from Christian prominence

-the socialchanges of the late 1960s and 1970s

-the production codes of Hollywood (thisone is more subtle but i cannot stress enough how much this thing shaped what ourperception of a film is)

theother thing is to study the history of the film industry, not just film. for over a century it has been possiblythe most popularly viewed art form in the western world, and it is so importantwhen studying tropes like this to understand the industry workings that shape them.

 i wish i could find the article cos it was rly good, but itwas quite a few years back. if you have any kind of access to a universitylibrary it might be good to look up some papers – there are miles upon miles ofstudies of the depictions of women in horror. also Men, Women, and Chain Saws: Gender in the Modern Horror Film byCarol J. Clover seems to be a good read, though ive only read a few chapters.

[warmau]

{Special} College!AU Jae

major: communications - rhetoric concentration 

minor: philosophy (not going well for him)

sports: n/a

clubs: debate team, writes for the art journal, in a couple of on-campus bands but is mostly active with a group called night6

“bro, why aren’t you a music major?”

“easy. i love getting into arguments with people.”

so a lot of people don’t know much about tall, lanky, otherwise unthreatening looking jae

and that’s the fact that he can run his mouth a mile a minute, and quite frankly, he loves doing that

got called out on twitter for abusing the 280 character limit 

by called out i mean youngk started a poll to get jae blocked by twitter - it didn’t work but it was hilarious 

asked his friend jamie once “hey, if i send in my grades - will they verify me on instagram?”

she wasn’t amused

he originally thought taking philosophy would just mean more time to debate others, but socrates ??? what was that dude even saying??? why are all his words so Complicated

like jae is all for that know thyself but damn,,,,,

he wants to go into law after school,,,,or more specifically public policy and stuff. he might act silly and make sarcastic jokes the core of his personality - but jae cares about things

he cares about people and the world deeply, enough that he’s agitated by unjustice

even if he’s gotten excused from “discourses on colonialism” like five times for cursing out christopher columbus 

he loves music a lot, probably has the most diverse taste in it though - so people are always asking him for reccommendations 

knows like,,,,,every local band playing in bars near campus,,,

night6 is a small band gotten together by jae and his closes friends, their unofficial manager is jamie who always puts up a fuss about them not playing venues worth their talent

but tbh jae loves it, the stage

small or big, playing guitar or arguing over texts - he just likes the spotlight

even if his rather shy, nerdy apperance says otherwise

he probably owns like one hundred of the same pair of wide-framed glasses because he thinks they make him look the best

also once he worse dark ones and wonpil was like “you look like a blind mouse”

always chilling outside of class, guitar case slung over his shoulder and notebook in hand, listening to some indie album no one has ever heard of

has messy hair, but a super clean dorm (sungjin really doesn’t know why his dorm is the only thing jae keeps organized in his life)

and you’ve actually known jae for a while, since middle school actually,,,

in high school you two even briefly dated, after years of friendship it had all come to a point where you’d kissed at some after party dance

and you and jae were sure you were soulmates, both music obsessed and enjoying good banter

but,,,,,,,,,it didn’t last long,,,,,,,,,because well because you ended it

there had been too much going on, too many uncertain futures and jae had still been a teenager - unaware that his jokes had a time and a place

and when you were in peril, you didn’t want his sarcastic commentary,,,,you wanted the jae behind that

the jae that had held you in his arms like you were the most treasured source of light in his life and if he were to let go  he’d be shrouded in darkness forever

but he hadn’t been that,,,and you didn’t know if he still had it in him

you guys didn’t talk much after, you didn’t know he even ended up at the same college as you until you see him talking with a jamie outside of debate club

and you wouldn’t have gone over, if it hadn’t have been for jamie spotting you and waving you over

she held your arm excitedly, asking if you know jae and if you can still make it to the concert she’d invited you tonight

all too quick did it dawn that this was jae’s concert,,,, 

“im happy you still play guitar.”

you whispered and jamie’s excitement buzzed between the weird atmosphere of you and jae

he smiled, but it was half-hearted

“im happy you’re doing well.”

the concert was,,,,just as you expected - in a dark, dingy bar full of drunk undergrads

jae’s band was playing, and you could vaguely recognize youngk who also went to high school with you two

the setlist was a whole bunch of songs you’d never head before - and you couldn’t believe that you felt your heart twist when you couldn’t even recognize one

a memory of you and jae, sitting in his garage when you were just sixteen played like an old film in your head

he had been a tiny bit shorter than he was now, and his handsome sharp features were awkward

but you had felt nothing short of true, pure love back then

because jae was sharing his songs with you, reaching out to take your hand and help you play chords 

laughing sweetly against your ear and making everything else float away

he had been close, so so close

but now, you were at the other end of the room and he was playing something unfamiliar and his eyes hadn’t met yours the entire night,,

clutching your untouched beer once more, you pushed it away and made your way to jamie who stood at the edge of the stage recording the performance

“just got a text from my RA, im gonna go ok?”

she nodded, turning to smile and mouth a goodbye

as you turned, your back to the stage as you fought through the people to the exit

jae’s eyes flicked from his mic to the shadow of your figure

i won’t miss them. ive missed them for far too long

he thought, but somehow he knew he was lying to himself. like he’d lied to himself when you broke up with him.

after that, you and jae kept your distances

jamie had tried to invite you to more of night6′s shows - but you made up excuses

she probed and jae to tell her how you two knew each other, but he always answered in one word or two

“school” “same neighborhood” “don’t remember” 

but he did - he remembered everything, even the things that hurt the most 

how you weren’t a,,,,,,sun kind of person,,,,you were more like the moon - gentle, but unforgettable 

you were the first person to tell jae he didn’t have to be whatever other people wanted him to be

you were the first person he really,,,,kissed,,,,really touched

there was so much about you - small facts and habits that he knew that suddenly flooded back in waves after seeing you at his concenrt

that he couldn’t sleep for hours,,,,,laid in bed and stared into the dark, listening to youngk’s small snores and stirs and thought

about the color of your eyes, the slope of your neck, your words - “jae, you weren’t there for me. i needed you and you just - you just -”

both you and jae know that staying away is the only thing that can keep you two on track, and the university is a big place it isn’t that hard to avoid crossing paths

but fate is mysterious and sometimes you can’t control where two people end up

it’s late when you leave the bookstore - you’re supposed to take your bike back to campus but ,,,,,,,, it’s gone

you stare at the pole you attached it to, but,,,,,,,it’s not there

the only thing remaining is the broken lock laying helplessly on the ground and as you squat down to pick it up

you try to reason with yourself - so what if it got stolen,,,,it was old,,,,,

but biting back your lip, you clutch the lock in hand and think that there must be a bus nearby,,,,a metro station? 

“stolen bike? tough luck!”

a voice says from behind you

“people are really dropping to new lows these days, like dude just go get a used bike they’re like thirty bucks.”

the voice is familiar and you want to tell yourself that no, there’s no way

but when you turn, jae is there and his look of amusement washes into something between shock and regret

“oh,,,,hey.”

you swallow, hiding the lock completely in your hand and trying to tell yourself to just act normal - like you guys are just clasmates - not friends, but not strangers

“hey, it,,,it’s funny right.”

you mean the bike, but jae’s tone of humor is gone. his eyes fixate on your hand and you see them do a small twitch, a habit he’s had since you knew him

“im,,,,about to drive back to campus. do you want a ride?”

of all the things in world you shouldn’t agree to, a one-on-one late night drive with your ex has to be up there

but you’re,,,,not in the mood to wander around looking for your stolen bike or any other way to get back to school

plus saying no,,,,would just seem like you were making things weird and you didn’t want to make things weird

so forcing the best smile you can you nod, “tha-that’d be great, but i hope it’s not a bother.”

jae shakes his head, the unkept bangs fall over his glasses and when he turns you take in the lines of his jaw and nose

since you’ve last seen him, he’s grown

and you were always charmed by his physical appearance, but now he wasn’t just cute - he was truly an adult 

with big shoulders and prominent angles that made something stir within you

something you pleaded with to calm down - to not cloud your better judgment 

jae’s car was familiar, it had belonged to his father when you were in high school and jae had stolen it once to drive you two to the city once,,,

you’d never made it - turning around halfway there because the sun was rising and instead stopping off the road to watch it 

he had held your hand back then, brought it up to his lips and kissed it 

he’d gotten grounded when he drove back, coming into school laughing about it at your locker

now, you were sitting beside him in the passenger seat and it was silent - pitch black outside aside from the flickering of stop lights and buildings

and you could hear your breathing, the beating of your heart and how it got just a bit faster when jae put his hand on the headrest of your seat while backing up out of the parking space

neither of you spoke, he didn’t even play music which was odd

it was horrible - suffocating

until finally you had had enough and leaned forward to press play on the car radio

“don’t-” jae began, but it was too late

the CD inside started playing - the sound of jae’s young voice speaking your name

“-this is a playlist just for you. it has all our songs on it, the one we kissed to and all the corny good stuff. the first one’s the one i wrote for you. don’t laugh at it, ok? you better not laugh.”

jae stopped it before the song could play, but you already knew what it was 

this was the playlist jae had made for you after you guys started dating. you’d given the CD back when you broke up,,,but why was he listening to it now?

you wanted to ask, but something kept you from it

“im sorry. this is awkward.” you whisper

“are you sorry that this situation is awkward or are you saying apologizing is awkward?”

you grimace at that, there he goes - always politicking always,,,saying what you wish he wouldn’t

jae seems to feel you tense and sighs

“sorry,,,,sorry,,,,i still haven’t learned to watch my mouth. but,,,,im sorry too. i wish,,,,,,,,we didn’t have to be like this.”

there’s pain in his voice and it almost breaks you - but you understand what he means

sitting back against the seat, you turn to face the window just because you don’t know what to say

you’re so scared of this fragile line you and jae are walking

because every moment with him feels like you’re re-living those good memories from before

but you’re also thinking about the moment you chose to abandon all that

jae doesn’t bother you, he seems to be in the same limbo of feelings too the whole drive back

but what’s weird is that when you pull into the parking lot, you both sit there in the car - not sure who should move first

“part of me regrets it.”

you breath and clench your teeth as you speak

jae’s eyes stay on the dashboard

“part of me regrets breaking up with you, because i did it so trivially - i just snapped under pressure and thought that you couldn’t give me what i wanted and jae -”

you feel his gaze finally settle on you

and his eyes aren’t those of the teenage boy you were in love with, they’re of someone matured and ready to be serious

“jae everything back then was so ,,,, fucked.”

you don’t even realize it, maybe because it’s the earth’s magnetic force or your own instincts as people, but you and jae are coming closer

till his strong hands have you in a hug, uncomfortable because of your positions in the car, but so inviting and warm

protective ,,,,, the kind of hug you needed back then but also the kind of hug you craved for even now

“i was still a kid, i didn’t know what to do. but ive grown, and i can be there now.”

his voice sounds deeper, closer against the shell of your ear and your grip on him tightens 

“have you been remembering ,,,,,, us?” you as with a shiver down your spine as jae nuzzles his face into your neck

“yes. i remember,,,,,,everything.”

that night, neither of you can go back to your dorms

you and jae walk the campus, still and untouched in the night and hold hands

you feel his long fingers entwine with yours and it’s embarrassing the thought that runs through your head

you’ve only just,,,,gotten close again - you can’t rush

and when you and jae talk,,,,,because years have passed and you’re not lost teens with too much adrenaline and misconceptions about the world you realize you’re both in places where,,,,,,,having each other

it would be nice. really nice

you fall asleep against his shoulder in the backseat of his car, his hoodie that he shrugs off is your blanket and nothing really happens but physical closeness and content

that your past is put to rest,,,,and you could find each other again

when you wake up, jae says he’s late for his class but he didn’t want to move and wake you

you poke him playfully, tell him that was dumb but jae just smiles and gropes around for his glasses on the car floor

he walks you to your dorm, and tells you to keep the hoodie

you walk a little bit up the stairs, just two or three before you’re at a height where you can lean over and kiss his forehead

and its,,,,,,,,,childish,,,,,giddiness that fills you two up even though you’re not kids anymore

the word dating doesn’t really come up till a couple of weeks after that, when jamie runs into you and jae at the cafe - jae is mocking one of the philosophers he has to read for class and you’ve got your legs thrown over his 

“sooooo you’re a couple now? honestly, you’re too good for jae!”

jamie comments, throwing an arm around you as she plops down at the table

she steals some of your coffee and jae rolls his eyes at her - asks her to let go of you, his significant other

and jamie just huffs, because she had you first

it’s a joke between friends, but you do have to put an end to it before someone gets some kind of food chucked at them

when jamie hops off to join kevin for studying, you look over at jae and smile

“so, it’s official - we gotta im your’s, you’re mine kinda thing?”

he grins, cheesy and the like and kisses your lips

“yep, better tell youngk to give up on that longtime crush he’s been having”

“oh hush, he doesn’t like me”

jae shakes his head, “i meant the one he’s had on me, obviously since im taken now.”

and don’t get me wrong, jae is still the sarcastic lil shit he’s always been - with a humor that borderlines annoying but that is still loveable

because he’s learned to scale it back, and he’s learned how to be a shoulder for you to lean on

just like you’re always ready to be there for him

whether it be supporting him at local band shows, wiping sweat off his face after a long set 

to helping him stay up and finish his philosophy papers - wikipedia articles and all

“those glasses make you look like a bug my dude”

youngk snarks one afternoon as you’re all eating lunch and jae untangles his arms from your waist to flick his best friend on the forehead

“hey, he’s a cute bug youngk - don’t be jealous”

you chime in, taking a bite of your food and lifting the chopsticks up again to feed jae

youngk makes a hacking noise at the affection, but both and jae stick your tongues out at him

you’re always surprised by the minimalism of jae’s dorm, just his bed, his desk, and his guitar 

even youngk has more than him, and you insist he decorate - give it some flavor

so jae hangs up a photo of you guys with tape and is like “i put up the most important photo i could find!”

you blush, but then you’re like “no, no we need one more.”

he tilts his head and you go “your mom. get a photo of her up there too you dweeb”

he  claps his hands together and goes “you’re totally right!”

sometimes he’ll call you petnames in korean and you’re like,,,tell me what it means or im bringing back the infamous chicken little jokes LOL

he’s so tall, that all his clothing has to be a size too large so it’ll be long enough

but this is great for you, endless baggy shirts and sweaters and flannels

and sweater paws that make jae fawn over you - or pout and go “give that back, i was gonna wear it to class!”

you and jamie are the first proud owners of night6 t-shirts

sungjin sometimes asks you if jae,,,,is like,,,,just like that 

and you’re like ?? what do you mean

and sungjin is like - is he just you know,,,,,,always talking

you: no there’s an off button, wanna see?

sungjin: please show me go

you: ok, here goes

and all you have to do is tap jae’s shoulder and wag with your finger for him to lean down

you kiss him, all cute and soft - leaving jae in a happy daze while throwing the peace sign up at sungjin who looks equally shocked and equally disappointed 

there’s a week where youngk goes away on a research trip with his fellow majors

and you and jae literally just turn the dorm into your own little apartment for the whole time, you never leave and you guys eat on youngk’s bed to avoid crumbs in jae’s

watching youtube video together, listening to jae write and practice, joking about how you guys have to wait past midnight to shower together 

it’s a week of just,,,,being domestic - and honestly you could get used to it,,,,

the last night you have “youngk free” as jae calls it, you’re laying beside jae and his hair is still slightly wet from his shower

he’s playing some game on his phone, arm still wrapped around you when you get that feeling in your stomach

and sit up, carefully removing the photographt of jae’s mother from his wall and placing it face down on his desk

“what’s up-”

he starts, but you throw a leg over his thighs and straddle his waist

jae’s eyes turn wide, and then haze over when you pull off his glasses and chuck his phone onto youngk’s bed

leaning in, jae taste faintly of mint and his large hand splays over your lower back 

you two fit together - and it’s like the temperature in the room climbs up ten degrees

jae sits up, you slide into his lap easily and there’s kissing, small sounds, and a lot of his hands everywhere

his body isn’t too muscular, it’s long and lean and he has the right amount of strength to support whatever you have for him 

and everything is close to perfect, but the small bumps of your noses and apologizes about marks left on necks just add to the overall naturality of being with him

“im blessed, im so blessed to have you”

is said somewhere afterwords, in the fall of bliss

and your heavy eyelids are kissed as you two fall asleep

youngk gets back early, and isn’t surprised to see you in the dorm collecting your things and taping the photo of jae’s mother back on the wall

you wave goodbye and when jae looks at youngk he grins “how was your trip?”

“just tell me you guys didnt’,,,,,not in my bed right?”

jae is not poetic when he talks, but he has a talent with lyrics and wonpil is sure some of his softer, more romantic ones are about you

jae refuses to acknowledge this, but the moment you’re around - sitting on his lap and playing with his hair or just giving him a kiss on the neck 

wonpil is sure what’s written on jae’s face is pure adoration 

you and jae debate on everything in a joking, couple kind of way but you do get competitive over some things

like which song is better or whose better at pokemon

and everyone thinks your twitter rants about each other are hilarious

you and jae can’t stay mad at each other for too long though - you both miss kissing each other more

jae is never amused at you asking him to get things off the top shelves in the libarary

but then again, you’re so freaking cute he does it anyway

“you’re mi amor”

“is that all the spanish you know?”

“i was born in argentina, but i didn’t really live there for too long - don’t sass me”

you and jae are voted cutest couple by the journal he sometimes writes for and youngk is like the votes are rigged but they’re not yall just too sweet to handle 

more college aus can be found:

by group: bangtan | vixx | got7 | nct | kard | monsta x | seventeen  gg specials: amber | momo | irene 

[spynotebook]

All Images: Lucasfilm/Disney.

The arrival of a new Star Wars movie is heralded by several things: Breathless anticipation, piles of ancillary merchandise, and the release of a new Visual Dictionary. Written by the Lucasfilm Story Group’s Pablo Hidalgo (who also did books for Rogue One and The Force Awakens), The Last Jedi’s guidebook is not only filled with intriguing details about the places and people seen in the film, but a few potential hints about the future of the Star Wars galaxy, too.

How Bombers Work in Space

Of the many nitpicks some people have with The Last Jedi this one is pretty minimal, but some fans have questioned how the Resistance’s bomber squadrons in the opening battle of the movie were meant to deliver their explosive payloads, considering, well... you can’t just “drop” bombs on top of a gigantic dreadnought in microgravity, after all. So how did Paige Tico eventually (and tragically) deliver her final bombing run? The answer, of course, is pretty simple: science. Well, magnets, more specifically, but they basically are science. According to the book, the MG-100 Starfortress pushes its payload out of its containment rack with “sequenced electromagnetic plates,” and the proton bombs then are “drawn magnetically to their unfortunate targets.”

The Mystery of Snoke’s Ring, Solved

Ever since Snoke’s glam look for The Last Jedi was revealed, there’s been theories (hilariously, er, cut short by Snoke’s end in the film) about the giant black crystal in his ring. Could it be a new kind of Kyber Crystal, powered with the dark side and blackened by Snoke’s evil? Well, it’s not, but it does have a major dark side connection. The stone is actually obsidian, but it comes from a surprising place: the catacombs beneath Darth Vader’s castle on Mustafar, as seen in Rogue One. Makes sense, given Snoke’s fascination with sources of dark side power.

What Happened to Black Squadron?

The Resistance takes one hell of a beating in The Last Jedi. They’re scattered, isolated, and slowly but surely reduced to little more than a handful of battered survivors. But not all hope is lost for their numbers: and just because we didn’t see them in The Last Jedi doesn’t mean Poe’s former comrades in Black Squadron are toast. According to the Visual Dictionary, most of the pilots who remained after the Starkiller Base attack were sent to other evacuation points across the galaxy, or on other missions at the time of the fleet’s escape from D’Qar. So yes, there’s a good chance the likes of Snap Wexley and Jess Pava are still alive—and maybe not everything is quite so dire for the Resistance’s numbers heading into Episode IX.

The Sentimentality of Leia’s Hair

I’ve noted before the Visual Dictionary series’ admirable dedication to the most extreme minutiae, even hair. But The Last Jedi’s book adds an extra layer of sadness to the fabulous coifs of Leia Organa in the movie. As well as describing her clothes as being suitably muted to reflect the dire circumstances of the Resistance, an annotated image pointing to the braid atop Leia’s hairstyle describes it as an “Alderaanian mourning braid,” presumably being worn in remembrance of the still-raw pain of Han’s passing in The Force Awakens. Sniff.

Teräs Käsi Lives

An offhand mention in the list of fighting styles Snoke’s red-clad Praetorian Guard are trained in inadvertently re-canonizes one aspect of one of the most infamously terrible Star Wars games ever: the 3D fighting game Masters of Teräs Käsi, for the original Playstation. Teräs Käsi was an unarmed combat style practiced by a character created for the widely-panned game, Arden Lyn, an assassin recruited by the Emperor to hunt down Luke Skywalker and the heroes of the Alliance after Yavin IV to... challenge them to a fistfight, basically. At least Masters of Teräs Käsi also gave us Hoar, one of the most delightful excesses of the old Expanded Universe.

The Unspecific Love Life of Poe Dameron

While The Last Jedi may have the honor of the first appearance of an LGBTQ character on-screen (although it’s never acknowledged in the film, a previous novel appearance for Laura Dern’s Resistance Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo hints at the character being pansexual), many have hoped that Poe Dameron would be revealed as being LGBTQ, alongside Finn, thanks to Oscar Isaac and John Boyega’s excellent chemistry in The Force Awakens.

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In The Last Jedi Finn might find himself drawn towards Rose romantically, but Poe’s desires are left to the imagination once more... although The Visual Dictionary does hint that the X-Wing flyboy has some romantic aspirations. A brief description reveals that Poe wears the ring of his mother, Shara Bey—first seen in the Shattered Empire comic miniseries—around his neck, and Poe is “waiting to share it someday with the right partner.” Note the gender-neutral wording there playing it safe, but you can keep dreaming for now.

As an adorable aside that’s potentially related, another annotation in the book states that the patched-up needlework on Finn’s jacket in the movie was done by Poe, repairing the lightsaber slashes left in the jacket while Finn was comatose. Somewhere there has to be fan art of this extremely canonical moment already, surely?

The Weird Way Hux’s Hyperspace Tracker Works

The Last Jedi utilizes everything from Hyperspace to the Force in new and surprising ways for a Star Wars movie, but at least when it comes to hyperspace, the advanced tracking system used to hunt the Resistance down through lightspeed jumps isn’t the only weird way the technology is used. The book describes the physical housing of the Hyperpsace Tracker on Snoke’s flagship as being flanked by computers insulated in their own localized hyperspace field—bending light and time in such a manner that it essentially hypercharges the computational power of the computers, letting them work fast enough to handle the number of calculations needed to track another vessel at faster-than-light speeds. Maybe that’s what the Empire thinktanks at the time of Rogue One hadn’t figured out yet!

Those Resistance Ships Weren’t as Empty as You Thought

Part of the primary storyline of The Last Jedi sees the Resistance Fleet slowly lose ship after ship while being hunted by the First Order, indicating that when each ship was about to run out of fuel and drift back into range of the First Order’s weapons, all but its pilot would abandon ship and escape to another (and, eventually, Crait). But not all those ships were run by just one remaining heroic commander. A passage in The Visual Dictionary touching on the sentimental loyalty of Resistance Droids—treated as equals by the Resistance to the point that they were allowed spaces on the evacuation ships—notes that, when the situation the ragtag group found themselves in turned truly dire, many droids chose to give up their spaces on the lifeboats shuttled down the Resistance Fleet in order to maximise space for their biological crewmates. So when you see those ships explode, know that tons of poor droids went kamblammo with them too.

The First Order’s Kids Actually Serve

With Finn, it was established that the First Order swiped kids at a young age to become brainwashed members of the Stormtrooper corps in The Force Awakens. But not every member of the Order is taken and programmed against their will—some are simply people who believe in the need for strength and order in a chaotic galaxy, or people swept up in the propaganda of the old Empire. That includes children, who are often considered the most zealous adherents of the First Order having been brought up with its teachings from a young age—and then put into military service, unlike the Imperial youth organizations of the Empire.

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Although indoctrinated trainees for the Stormtrooper corps were only allowed into combat upon reaching adulthood, First Order children can serve in non-combat roles across the Navy and military, leading to a bunch of teens—or “subadults,” a term usually reserved for animals, as the Visual Dictionary creepily refers to them as—being in operation aboard the vessels seen in the movie.

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Everyone’s Wrong About How to Eat Porg, According to Chewbacca

The closer we got to The Last Jedi’s release, the more the Porg discourse—the disporgse, if you will—turned to the bizarre question of “What does Porg taste like?” because on the inside, we’re all depraved monsters. But according to The Visual Dictionary, the meat is not the part of the Ahch-To bird’s body we should be eating. An annotation on an image of Chewbacca’s improvised Porg-spit seen briefly in the movie claims that, at least to Wookiees, the most delicious and nutritious part of a Porg is the crunchy, roasted Porg feet. We assume these will be added to the menus of Disneyland’s restaurants shortly.